#rather than feeling like I share my gender with musicians like brian molko and david bowie and remington leith

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

I feel like even though I was born female, I can’t BE a girl no matter how much I want it or how much I try. There’s this external pressure and internal desire but my physical body can’t satisfy those. I feel like if a male who wanted to be female was born as a female but not in the ways that would affirm their female gender identity. I was handed the body but the body doesn’t match what society wants or expects, or what I wanted and expected. For better or worse, I have one of the possible ideal androgynous-looking bodies. Sometimes it’s a treasure and sometimes its a pain. I don’t ever see people that NATURALLY look like me. It’s either diets or surgery or they’re still kids or they’re tiny amab people. I’m tired of only seeing myself in amab queers. I want people I relate to but I can’t find them. I want to see afab girls with flat chests and body hair and not-dainty hands and an adams apple and low voice and masculine stance and no curves and still be very much girls or perceived as girls.