#having to fall in line with what is expected of muslim girls while feeling the best dressing like a teenage kid-dude

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

I feel like even though I was born female, I can’t BE a girl no matter how much I want it or how much I try. There’s this external pressure and internal desire but my physical body can’t satisfy those. I feel like if a male who wanted to be female was born as a female but not in the ways that would affirm their female gender identity. I was handed the body but the body doesn’t match what society wants or expects, or what I wanted and expected. For better or worse, I have one of the possible ideal androgynous-looking bodies. Sometimes it’s a treasure and sometimes its a pain. I don’t ever see people that NATURALLY look like me. It’s either diets or surgery or they’re still kids or they’re tiny amab people. I’m tired of only seeing myself in amab queers. I want people I relate to but I can’t find them. I want to see afab girls with flat chests and body hair and not-dainty hands and an adams apple and low voice and masculine stance and no curves and still be very much girls or perceived as girls. 

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Interesting question re: the f! versus m! versions of the LIs. This is just personal taste, I don't think any of them are more or less loveable based on gender!, but I do think f!Rayyan is more attractive to me than her male counterpart, while for G & Sam it's the opposite - I exclusively romance their male counterparts. Tobin is the same for me in both versions, but I still prefer f!Tobin simply because I prefer playing as a woman hehe. For context, I am a bisexual woman leaning more towards women, buuut I'm really into gnc women and I guess G and Sam both just feel like they fall outside a category I am attracted to :'o f!G feels more femme fatale as a woman, and f!Sam is very cute.

This is supremely intriguing, thank you so much for answering!! I absolutely live for interactions like this!

My answer became a goddamn ESSAY (holy shit I'm sorry) but I'd definitely love to hear more of you guy's thoughts on this, cause this is super interesting to me!

For G, I totally agree. I feel the pivotal traits that shape them (cynicism, stoicism about life and what life throws at them, adapting to circumstance, instead of stubbornly sticking to 'what they want', their parents' divorce, being caught between worlds and used to living in multiple places at once—Canadian-French from their mom and French-French from their dad, their intense commitment to their belief that things don't last, and you can't expect them to) feel more... attractive to me in a woman than a man (because lord knows we have enough flaky non-committal men in this world), but I think that's probably a subjective opinion.

For Tobin, I think it's inevitable that their softness/gentleness AND their queerness is influenced by their gender, and I love that idea, and I hope to explore more of that later on. For M!Tobin, I feel like they've always had to deal with the fact that they're a little "too" soft for what the world expects from them (a black american in the ultimately super-machismo world of sports), and they've always at least "fit in" with the rest of their team because of their athletic prowess AND how much attention they get from the ladies. Now, exploring their sexuality, having to come to terms with the fact that they are attracted to men as well (and what to do with that information)... I think it adds an extra layer of vulnerability.

As for F!Tobin, I think there's similar tensions—but in different ways. E.g. maybe they're the way they are, so gentle and considerate and kind because, in some ways, they're compensating (subconsciously or consciously) with the stereotype that black women athletes are "too powerful", "too fierce", and they've only ever wanted to be accepted, respected, loved, hence they've always been softer than they have to be, kinder than they have to be, more considerate etc. etc. But then they met MC, and perhaps they're learning to put that all away, and just... be. Without fear of being "too much"—with MC reassuring them that they're OK just the way they are, and that their strength and courage does not need to be tempered for anyone else's benefit.

And finally, for Rayyan, again, I absolutely agree—there's something about F!Rayyan and how, coming from a conservative immigrant Muslim family (e.g. there was that scene with a brief mention of how their dad never even thought they should be serious about turning pro, becoming a professional athlete especially because she's a girl), she's probably had to fight for absolutely everything she's wanted in this world, and that's why she's so steely on the outside, why she's so unapologetic about pursuing the things she wants because god knows the amount of sacrifice she's already put in. There's still that dimension in M!Rayyan, being an immigrant, threading that line between wanting to do their family proud, wanting to pursue their own dreams, ambition—so much ambition—but also fierce loyalty, and uncompromising, unyielding courage.

Sam feels the most... unchanged whether or not I imagine them as female or male, the experiences that made them the way they are (and how they interact with MC) are the same (e.g. being in love with your best friend, being extremely open about experimenting with literally any type of human romantically except the ONE person they actually love and trust with all their heart, scattered loveable goofball tennis nerd that they are).

[seattlesea]

✨My (maybe) Unpopular Heroes of Olympus Opinions✨

(maybe part one??? idk)

-I don’t really ship any of the main canon ships in HoO. None of them had any chemistry and most of them are either pedophilic, forced and rushed, or toxic in some way

-Most of the characters that were shoved into relationships (Leo, Nico, and Hazel especially) really did not need a love interest to complete their character arcs and their relationships ended up boring and flat cause Riordan just wanted everyone to have a love interest and it never went deeper than the skin

-Piper took advantage over Jason’s amnesiac state and manipulated him. She really went ‘But what if he has a girlfriend he can’t remember 👉👈 it would be wrong to start a relationship with him while he still has amnesia 👉👈 and cause it was based off lies and fake memories 👉👈 lmao imma just jump all over him and make him fall for me while he’s still amnesiac 🤪’ as if that’s not taking advantage over someone’s mental state

-And then she blamed her relationship being forced on Aphrodite and Hera saying they ‘forced her into a relationship’ and ‘arranged their relationship’ even though Aphrodite never said anything about or did anything to them and Hera gave Piper fake memories of them being a couple but it was Piper’s conscious choice to act out on those memories she knew were fake and her relationship was in no way influenced by anyone (especially Hera and Aphrodite) other than herself

-Shelper and Solangelo were way too rushed and forced (inside and outside of the books) and were only added for publicity, plus it seems like most of the fandom only like them cause they’re LGBTQ+ ships

-I hate Pipeyna and Pipabeth. My girls (especially Reyna) deserve better than some manipulative little girl who went ‘we were friends? no weren’t ❤️’

-The fandom portrays the characters really inaccurately (tweaking them a bit for humor is fine, but changing their entire personality is a different thing)

-The movies actually aren’t that bad when not compared to the books (I mean, you gotta admit- it’s pretty good effects for 2010)

-And speaking of the movies, they did a better job at portraying Thalia and Annabeth’s relationship in one movie than Riordan did in 5+ books

-Speaking of which, Riordan wrote pretty much every platonic friendship that weren’t Thalia/Nico and Reyna horribly and most of them shouldn’t have been friends and wasted all the potential for the good friendships

-Calypso should’ve joined the Hunters, not Reyna

-Annabeth and Piper are horrible friends lmao (separately and together)

-Silena is a hero and deserves redemption, but Luke doesn’t despite most of the fandom agreeing he does (he was a pedophile y’all)

-The fandom over-exaggerated the Tartarus fall, it wasn’t really that bad tbh

-Reyna is stronger and a better leader than Annabeth

-Annabeth’s intelligence is more tell than show (and quite a few characters including Leo, Reyna, and Octavian have shown more intelligence than her)

-Riordan over-glorifies and overpowers Percy way too much. Just cause he’s the main character doesn’t mean he has to be the best of the best after barely 8 months of training (four years at CHB only in the summers is 8 months total)

-Speaking of which, Jason can beat Percy (8 months versus Jason’s twelve years) and so can Annabeth, Reyna, Thalia, Hylla, Luke, Hazel and maybe Frank and Nico. Percy’s skill is overrated and unrealistic

-And I feel like most of the fandom knows that Jason can beat Percy but just doesn’t want to admit it cause they like Percy more

-Same thing with the Greeks and Romans- the majority know the Romans are stronger and can easily beat the Greeks but they don’t want to believe it cause they favor the Greeks more

-Percy and Annabeth shouldn’t have been part of the Seven, they already had their chance to shine. Riordan should’ve brought minor characters into light instead

-And Piper shouldn’t have been part of the Seven either. Riordan really expects me to believe that she’s stronger, more powerful, and a greater/better hero and deserved to be part of the Seven more than Reyna, Nico, Clarisse, Thalia, etc.?

-Riordan’s women line-up of Reyna, Annabeth, Hazel, and Piper was really cheap and boring (Avengers: Endgame women line-up who?)

-Percy (in HoO) and Piper are easily some of the worst, most underdeveloped characters Riordan has ever written

-Annabeth got really bland and weak in HoO and couldn’t do shit for herself without others (especially newbies) having to help and/or save her. She pretty much became exclusively Percy fangirl

-As much as I like them, Frank and Hazel don’t have what it takes to be Praetors and Reyna and Jason should’ve stayed as them

-Jason’s whole ‘am I more Greek or Roman’ arc was dumb af

-Riordan’s bias towards the Romans is also dumb af (the Romans could beat the Greeks in an instant)

-Jeyna is and always will be 1000x better than Jiper

-Hazel is the most powerful demigod (way more than Percy and even Jason)

-My hot take on who should’ve been the Seven: Reyna, Nico, Thalia, Frank, Hazel, Leo, and Clovis (son of the god of sleep puts Gaea back to sleep who?)

-Riordan confirming Piper bi was a cheap move to make her more likable. It didn’t even make any sense. A character is confirmed LGBT only after they become a minor character despite being a main character before and kisses some random unnamed girl only three months after her ex-boyfriend whom she still loved dies??? girl what??? Kinda obvious it was just for publicity. Like- Riordan, honey, the LGBTQ+ community is not a circus you can plop your characters into to make them more entertaining❤️

-The PJ series as a whole isn’t that creative. It’s legit just a copy of exactly what past mythological figures have already done and a bunch of character tropes and clichés shoved into one book

-And in general it’s not even that well-written (like HP, it’s over-exaggerated a lot)

-All of the romantic relationships and platonic friendships are extremely unrealistic. Like they never argue/fight, disagree, etc. (then grow stronger from those fights) at all??? Even if they’re complete opposites???

-Reyna is the best-written character in the whole series and a queen she deserved better and y’all sit on her too much

-Theyna is ✨amazing✨ their dynamic and chemistry was just *mwah Pansexual Muslim blessings to you* and people are allowed to ship them even though they’re Hunters and swore off love

-Rachel doesn’t deserve all the hate she gets. Y’all hate on her cause she crushed on Percy when half of you are doing the same thing and then y’all go and ship Percy with Nico, Jason, Artemis, Athena, etc. 

-If y’all want to hate on Jason for ‘not having a personality’ you’d also have to hate on most of the main HoO characters except Reyna, Nico, and Leo (and maybe Hazel) for the same reason cause they have the exact same problem tbh

-Zoë and Bianca’s deaths weren’t actually that sad. We didn’t get to see them enough nor did they have enough development for their deaths to have a real impact. The only sad thing about them was Zoë’s last words and Nico’s reaction

-Thalia needed more time in the books

-Reyna was the only main female character in HoO that wasn’t a boring, bland Mary Sue that all the other characters automatically loved. She was the only one with real flaws and distinct personality traits she’s my queen

-Piper, Annabeth, and Calypso did have flaws but the fact that they weren’t called out by other characters or even noticed are what makes them Mary Sues. It doesn’t matter how many flaws a character has, if they’re not called out by other characters (more specifically, other protagonists who actually like them) they don’t count as real character flaws

-Riordan can’t write female characters for shit

-Clarisse, Drew, and Octavian deserved better than being completely antagonized for no explained reason other than to make the protagonists seem better and to make the readers root for them. Those three had more potential than most of the Seven combined

-The whole ‘Aphrodite kids don’t train’ thing is bs. It’s specifically stated that all the demigods follow a strict schedule and have to follow it or they’ll be on stable duty or smth and the Aphrodite kids shouldn’t (and can’t) be excused from that

-Therefore, Drew should be way more powerful and skilled than Piper, at least enough to not back down automatically from a duel by a newbie who hasn’t even learned how to fight (Drew can control an entire cabin of people at once and Piper can barely control one person at a time, who’s more powerful again??)

-Also I have no idea why Riordan portrays all the Aphrodite kids as weak and girly in the first place. ‘Femininity’ and ‘weakness’ are not synonymous and ‘love’ and ‘beauty’ don’t equal ‘feminine’

-Speaking of which, love is actually really powerful but Piper doesn’t stand for love or ‘inner beauty’ and all her ‘thoughtful/insightful’ quotes in ToA/TBM about love were complete bs

-Riordan using the LGBTQ+ community for the sole purpose of making Piper seem more likable and ‘special’ was disgusting and proves he thinks that straight is the default- “...Or Hera’s ideas of what a perfect couple looked like. Piper finding her own way, not the one people expected of her” my ass. In other words, he’s saying ‘The expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are a heterosexual relationship, and anyone who 'finds their own way instead of the ones people expect’ are different’. ‘Different’ and ‘default’ are antonyms, so if you think LGBT people are different, then you think that straight is the default. Aphrodite is the goddess of love not heteronormative bullshit. Like Riordan, honey, you’re the one who thinks that the expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are heterosexual couples, not fictional gods from a fictional mythology. Remember kiddos- an author writes their own beliefs

If you don’t agree with some of these that’s fine sis it doesn’t matter if you have different opinions than me❤️

[hotwings0203]

Hehehe I'm back! Loll these ideas of how Muslim Dabi would fluster you have been burning my brainnn and I totally blame you😫✋

Anyways so omg okay, I could totally see Muslim Dabi doing that thing where the guy pulls the girls dupatta to make her fall back into his chest pull as the girl turns to walk away, and he would like put his hand on your lower back or waist and lean down by your ear and just whisper about how you look so pretty today and how he can't wait to see you as his bride

Also! I could totally see him like playing with your churiyan or bangles and just touching your hand and wrist, tangling his fingers with yours and just teasing you about how your hands fit his so well, how he can't wait to put a wedding ring on you

Oh! If your churiyan get stuck to his clothes, he would totally milk that situation by standing just a little to close while you try to untangle your churiyan from his clothes while trying to not combust from blushing cuz he is leaning or staring down and just gazing at you with a smirk on his face, and teasing you about clearly you don't wanna be away from him or something smh

Also! Say if you are getting your mehndi (henna) done for eid or something, he would totally use this as a way to get closer to you, like you can't use your hands while waiting for your mehndi to dry! So he's just helping you by brushing your hair away from your face, or just guiding you with a hand on your lower back so you don't bump into someone and ruin your pretty mehndi, or sitting too close to you with his arm is draped behind you while your waiting for your henna to dry. Lmao he would totally wait for the henna to dry and when he sees how dark and rich the colour his, hes like see, look how much I love you (cuz you know the darker the colour, the more your husband loves you) and you are trying so hard to not just get all flustered and just can't help looking away all shy and blushy, while he looks at you in a soft but like still dominant way

Speaking of helping you! Lmao he would totally use this as an excuse to feed you food, and he would totally use this as an opportunity to touch your face and neck, just touching your lips, and looking at you with lust filled eyes, and telling you how he bets your lips will taste so sweet when he kisses you, and make such pretty noises when you're underneath him, and you're just like Dabi! Stop, people are gonna hear! You're gonna get us in trouble! But he just chuckes cuz you look so cute when you're glaring at him with a blush adoring your cheeks

Also he would totally find a way to make you feed him food cuz that's what good wifes do! lmfao like okay say your poor soul ends up getting engaged to him, and its your mehndi or something, and you know how sometimes they will make the bride feed the groom sweets like laddu or gulab jamun, brooo he would so sexual about it, he would totally hold your wrist and guide it to feed him, and maintain eye contact the whole time, and his lips linger on your finger tips for just a little too long, and of course everyone is just gonna be like omg! Wow look at how much he is in love with her! So lucky! While you're sitting there trying not to die from how fast and hard your heart is beating and your cheeks are on fire

Also! Imagine having to drive with him omggg like imagine your family is in the process of you guys getting engaged and are like going out for dinner or a picnic or something, and Dabi would be like oh! How about me and her drive together and use this as a chance to get to know each other better, and of course the parents are gonna be like yes! Like wow look at the initiative he's taking to get to know his future wife, so now you are stuck in a car with him. He would totally pull that move where when he is reversing he puts his arm behind your seat and he would totally "help" you by reaching across to help put your seat belt on, and just lingers by your face, his lips too close to your lips, and you just blushing and looking demurly at him through your lashes, and omg he would totally put his hand on your tigh and just relish in the way you gasp and clench them and blush as you are like Dabi! This isn't appropriate, the parents will find out! Lmaooo Also! Adding to the previous point, he would totally make your feed him food while he drives, and licks or nick your finger tips when you go to feed him, and just relish in the way you blush and squeak Dabi! And he would just he like damn I can't help that I love the way my name sounds on your lips

Also when you guys married hes gonna be soooo horny, and possessive for you cuz know it's all halal, and would just be like I wanna get you pregnant asap, cuz come on we gotta give our parents cute little grandkids and its your job as his wife to please him lmfao And like of course you're gonna be all flustered and stuff, but also he is good in bed, soooooo aianaokHgqNaah

And also like yeah Muslim Dabi is a total hooligan, but he's not dumb, homeboy is smart and gets good grades, and is gonna be graduating with a masters and is gonna work under his dad and all that, and his family is famous and well liked by the community, so he's gonna have like no issues with getting the reader to marry him, and her family is obviously gonna be so happy! Like wow what a good marriage proposal from such a prestigious and good family! And of course the Todoroki's are gonna be so happy to have a sweet and kind and pure daughter in law, who is gonna take care of their troublesome son, little do they know that yeah maybe Dabi loves you, but he's also gonna ruin you LMFAOO RIPPP

……….

hotwings.exe. has stopped working.

HELP ME

LORD HAVE FUCKING MERCYYYYYYYYY MY GAWD

WHY CANT HE BE REAL

WHY CANT I HAVE A MUSLIM SCUMMY YET LOVING TOUYA PLEASE GOD WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN😭😭😭😭🔫

Dude it would be just like in Om Shaanti Om, maybe he sees you at chaand raat looking for churiyan or cute kurtis for Eid when he decides to approach you. He KNOWS how skittish you are but he’s had his eye on you for a while…yet you’re so damn evasive. You’re like a little mouse, jumping at the slightest brush of his body against yours.

He sees you admiring the jingle of the bangles, the way the sequins cast reflecting rays against your own hands and decides to play with his future wifey a bit.

He sidles up behind you and reaches around your body to hold your preoccupied hand in his.

“I can’t wait for the day you look at me with such admiration,” he breaths against your ear, and just as he expected, you jump about a foot in the air.

You clutch your chest and look at him warily.

“Dabi! Don’t do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

He lowers his lids and makes sure you’re watching as his gaze travels from your feet up your body to your face, settling on not so modest areas.

Your face flushed furiously when he rasps, “‘You sayin’ I make your heart race, meri jaan?”

He almost got kicked in the balls that day. But he wouldn’t say that he minds if it means his sacred scrotum has any contact with you

At another time he finds you waiting in line to get your mehndi done. You’re sitting patiently and poised as you flip through some sample design pages, and he slips in like next to you (and might I add, he received no backlash for cutting from the terrifying glare he gave to the people behind him, practically dating them to voice their displeasure).

“Whatcha lookin’ at guriya (doll)?”

You snap your head towards him with mild surprise, somehow already knowing he was going to find you. Wordlessly, you hand him the pages and he takes it from your hand, letting his fingers interlace with yours.

You try pulling it back, nervously looking around and giving him a pleasing look to let go, but he merely holds your gaze, his eyes filled with such tenderness that you had never seen before.

“Let them see. People should know you’re gonna belong to me anyways,” he groans quietly when your lips part in shock.

“Stop messing with me,” you murmur and turn your face. He won’t have any of it though, he follows your turning head and grabs a wrist, holding it up to his lips and kissing it, trailing his mouth from your palm to your single digits.

“‘This the hand you’re gonna get done?”

Your body lights on fire as you feel his tongue swirl around your index, the taste of you causing his dick to swell under his kameez.

He squeezes your wrist lightly and prompts you for an answer. You nod slightly, and he chuckles lowly.

“I’ll make sure to put a ring on this hand then. And you better wear it with your mehndi as well when you wrap your hand around my co-“

“Next person please!”

You leap out of your seat, face ablaze and fuming indignantly as you hear him laugh behind you.

“Hey, Y/N!”

You turn and barely meet his eye.

“What?”

“Get the design on page three. It’ll suit you.”

You get the design on page three.

He leaves at one point and you think he’s gone for good, when he comes back 19 minutes later, ladoos and kheer loaded in his hands, a brown paper bag in between his teeth.

Your eyes widen as he seats himself next to you, and the girl doing your hand gives you a knowing smirk when you frantically shake your head for him to leave.

But nope. Instead, he meticulously takes time to form little bites of mixed sweets and hand feeds them to you, much to your utter embarrassment.

You can’t help it though! You’re so hungry, and the food is actually delicious. It’s totally not cuz of the way he looks at you like you’re the only girl in the world, like you’re the only one whose allowed to see this soft side of the eldest Todoroki…

It’s much later down the line when you two get engaged. It takes Dabi argument after argument of persuading his parents to host multiple iftaars just for your family. He doesn’t even want Hawks to be with him when you come over, he just wants you all to himself.

When you enter his house his mouth waters at seeing your shalwar. You barely lift your lashes to look at him, but he’s basically ogling at you.

At one point of you coming over Dabi points out to the adults that you’ve never had a full house tour before. Your parents permit him to show you around, and he uses this opportunity to isolate you in a distant part of the house, right in his room.

The second you hesitantly step in, holding a light dupatta over your head for a show of modesty, he’s closing the door and locking it behind him. You turn at the sound of the click to see him smirking and crossing his arms over as he leans against the door.

You frown. “Open the door Dabi, if either of our parents see us here alone they’re gonna call off the nikkah.”

“Oh, so you’re worried about wanting to be with me, huh?”

“Dabi,” you say exasperatedly, already reaching around him for the handle.

But he uses this momentum to yank your arm towards him and spin you around, pinning you to the door with his chest pressed against your back.

It’s silent save for both of your ragged breaths.

You’re terrified, you’ve never had a boy touch you like this and you don’t know what to do except gasp when he presses his boner against your ass.

“You wanna know something?” He whispers into your ear.

You shake your trembling head, and he softly kisses the side of your cheek.

“I’ve never really been one to follow protocol, but I won’t touch you too much while we’re engaged. I’ll be gentle with you and let you get used to how you’re going to be trained under me.”

You inhale softly and flinch when his hands travel up your sides, letting the edges of your dress ride up and flash a bit of your stomach.

“But after our wedding…just know that I’ll take you however I want. I won’t be as nice with letting you go. Even if you think you can escape by having our wedding night in either yours or my parents’ house, I’ll make sure everyone knows how my name sounds when it’s screaming from your lips.”

He rubs against you, your body trapped between a rock and a literal hard place.

You think he’s gonna feel up your chest from the way he hooks his chin over your shoulder and peers down at your breasts, but he just lightly licks a stripe up your neck and cooes when you whimper.

“Please, Dabi, not like this. Just-just wait a bit.”

“How can I wait when you taste so fucking good though,” he growls and tightens his grip around you, ripping another gasp from your throat.

But then, he stops. He lets you go and spins you around to face him.

You look up at him and he strokes one hand over the column of your neck.

Unmarked, begging for any kind of sign of ownership.

“But don’t get too excited. I still have to see how you cook me biryani and butter chicken if you want this dick,” he smirks and breaks the tension in the air when he senses you’re overstimulated, misty eyed and scrunched eyebrows a dead giveaway for him.

You swat his arm and scowl at his crudeness.

“Okay you’ve had your fun now, you cretin-“

“Cretin?” His eyes widen mockingly and he takes a step towards you, placing a hand on his chest in faux hurt.

You back up and he takes another step forwards.

“That’s a big girl word to use. It’s a pretty mean one too, you’re so mean to your husband-to-be, Y/N.” He pouts and you can’t help the disbelieving snort that comes out of you. As if he were that sensitive.

“You think our kids will be as mean as you?”

“What?!” You sputter.

He cocks his head and studies you.

“Or do you think they’ll be freakishly handsome like me?”

“Get your head out of your ass, you’re actually unbelievable.”

“Maybe if I put you in a mating press they’ll come out nicer…but I heard back shots make girls more submissive, so maybe that’ll transfer to one of ‘em.”

“Who said we’re having any kids?”

“What, you think I’m gonna let you be on birth control? Naw janoo, that pussys all mine. ‘M gonna cum in it whenever i want.”

And before you feel like you’re going to pass out, you hear a knock from the door, Natsuo calling out for both of you to join them for dinner.

Dabi looks at the door, then you.

“Ladies first,” he smirks and opens the door.

[hyceate-blog]

Aaagh. I wish they didn't phrase the issue like that so. Poorly. I actually agree with Robbe about the cycle of call outs. Especially since I have experienced this myself and done some social media drama myself on Twitter. It led to exactly what I expected Britt and BA to do. Escalation. Direct confrontation almost never works but at least the girl squad should have listened. That's where it gone downhill imo. BA acted as expected, but somehow, the intelligence is essentially 0 for girl squad. Well, expected Kato and Amber to be pretty low tbh. But I truly felt like the rest of them would have tried to understand Yasmina's feelings. Luca and Zoe would have dropped out while Amber and Kato go on their merry way. Idk how they just think those were pure gossip. Aggghhhhhhhh. There are edgelord jokes and there are highly offensive jokes which I think the racism falls under. It can't be seen as casual edgelord stupidity. At least understand that, girlsquad. 🤦

Back to Robbe, the way he went about it was just terrible and not what I expected of him. Was that line necessary at all? Couldn't he be on more passive like idk "maybe they thought you wouldn't enjoy it. Idk. I'm not them," instead of straight up offensive?? Yasmina could have responded with a similar line but less aggressive such as, "They didn't want me to be there because I'm Muslim. I'm not sure if you can really feel the same way as being unwanted for being yourself." Then, Robbe can go and compare his experience. Idk maybe they end with them getting comfort food for each other because Robbe is sad from remembering the attack + her mom's reaction and well we all know Yasmina needs some comfort. And mentions they gonna meet up with Sander and his friend, (Younes). IDK. I AM JUST RAMBLING.

Why is there so much hostility, the fuck? Especially when they threw the hug in? I don't understand?

Nothing Britt did to Amber is defendable either. At least, he didn't directly say it was fine. But I sure would have liked it if he at least mention that was an overreaction of BA since they didn't even have proof it was Amber in the first place. I don't understand why he says Yasmina might have wanted this to happen or how she would betray her friends like that. Just what.

[congacoal61]

Central Asia Encompassed

The least explored of Central Asia’s 5 Stans, Turkmenistan stays a land of thriller. Visit the Russian Bazaar, the Parthian Fortresses of Nisa and see the country’s magnificent Akhal-Teke horses. Reinstate the wow issue with a circuit of Ashgabat’s new city that includes rows and rows of marble buildings and gold monuments. Explore the centre of the nation with its unique “Gates of Hell” – the Darvaza Gas Crater. And step again into layers of history on the sprawling silk street settlement of Merv. Join our small group excursions to Turkmenistan and go where few travellers have gone before. As local tour firm, we offer finest price with rich experiences. We shall be glad to create the best vacationer program to Turkmenistan for you! Just fill within the form so we may know all of your preferences and necessities for the trip. Our travel specialist will contact you as quickly as possible and will offer you one of the best choices. We have just put together a listing of unimaginable travel locations and distinctive places of the world that might be incredibly fascinating for many individuals. All the destinations are briefly reviewed in a type of an interactive video presentation. But the tourism is a multi-dollar industry these days, so many companies and private guides try to current new, fresh and unconventional places to have a vacation or an lively trip. Meet-and-greet at Ashgabat International Airport and transfer to our lodge of choice . I even have led tours in over a hundred nations over the last 14 years of working for Adventures Abroad on all the continents except for Antarctica. Commissioned by first Turkmen president, Saparmurat Niyazov, the most important mosque in Central Asia is a feat of spectacular engineering. Some of our tour leaders who've led these excursions. Get extra value with all-inclusive trips that includes top-rated eating places and resorts. Then we'll proceed to Bukhara where we we keep for the night time. Rise and shine for a visit to the only World Heritage Site in Kyrgystan – Sulaiman-Too Sacred Mountain, also referred to as Solomon's Throne. For centuries Silk Road travellers have sought out the mountain's caves and their petroglyphs in the perception that they would be blessed with longevity. Visit the National Historical & Archaeological Museum Complex. Turkmenistan, The Land Of Weird I’ll admit that before we started to plan this journey, I would have failed all of the above. Turkmenistan is unlikely to feature on many travelers’ bucket lists. It has no world-famous sights and its visa regime makes journey bureaucratic and expensive. While this amazing 12th-century sight is one of the high sightseeing attractions in Turkmenistan, it isn't totally known what it truly is. Many people consider this is a mausoleum, but others suppose it may be a throne room. The Forbes ranking and the capital of cultureSibiu was located on the eighth place in rating of one of the best cities to stay in Europe made by Forbes journal. Citizens of Suceava are wanting to spend time outdoors – sitting on squares or in parks. Maybe you possibly can attempt your luck at taking half in chess or backgammon at certainly one of them with locals. Located on the river bank the Throne Tower was built on the end of the 14th century. The fort partially burned two centuries later after which was rebuilt. After other damages, it went into ruin and then lastly it was reconstructed in some components in the 20th century. A white line on the walls separate the unique fragments from the 20th-century ones. This is as a end result of Ashgabat, a metropolis of perhaps 600,000 folks, is the capital of Turkmenistan, one of many final holdouts of totalitarianism in the world. Turkmenistan Airlines presents home flights to Dashogus - 6 flights per day, Mary - 3 flights per day, Turkmenabat - 5 flights per day and Turkmenbashi - three flights per day, Balkanabat. Location is correct next to the Presidential Palace, so close to everything. Continental restaurant on the top flooring has nice views, it is attainable to snap photographs of many buildings not allowed on the ground, whereas the Turkish restaurant has high quality food at cheap costs. The membership and dance floor gets packed Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night time after around 11 pm. "It is beautiful," mentioned the person, Kaka, and then kissed the fingertips of his proper hand with a smack. ASHGABAT, Turkmenistan — On summer time afternoons, as temperatures turn out to be stifling within the Kara Kum desert, the capital of Turkmenistan typically falls quiet. The resort is an attraction in its personal right- the experience right here is analogous to any luxurious lodge in Asia. Expect to return across lots of international workers, and girls of doubtful persuasion at the lodge bar. Tours » Central Karakum Desert & Merv In 2003 the widely respected former mufti of the country, Nasrullah Ibn Ibadullah, was changed, secretly tried, and sentenced in 2004 to 22 years in jail. While the 1995 census indicated that ethnic Russians comprised virtually 7 p.c of the population, subsequent emigration to Russia and elsewhere has reduced considerably this proportion. The latter is positioned at the foothills of the Eastern Kopetdag mountain range and is loaded with historical monuments. En route we will relaxation at the ruins of Abiverd medieval fortress in Kaahka and 15c mosque in Annau. We attain Ashgabat within the late afternoon with the the rest of the day left to relaxation, sit by the pool or discover the city by yourself. A journey exterior of city takes you to the ruins of the traditional metropolis of Nisa, a UNESCO World Heritage Site that was once the center of the Parthian Kingdom. In April, authorities summoned a Jehovah's Witness to a gathering with the Chairman of the Council on Religious Affairs, who accused her of hosting a prayer assembly at her family home. She was launched in change for signing an announcement that the cost was incorrect and that she wouldn't host such meetings in the future. The Government additionally controls and restricts access to Islamic schooling. The President specified that future annual classes of spiritual college students would be limited to between 15 to twenty students a year. Myoko Lodging To re-create the soft water widespread in Japan, the Changchun tub has Japanese-made tools to take away the minerals. "Shampoo does not lather properly" in China's exhausting water, mentioned Masamori Suzuki, a director at Gokurakuyu. "Getting a massage from a whirlpool bath feels good," said one satisfied customer in a web-based publish. Guest House Bunk is a bright and clean pension style guesthouse located close to the Akakan Resort ski lifts. Run by the friendly Sasahana-san, it is an ideal alternative for households with a snow play area right alongside that is simply supervised. Enjoy the ambience of the lounge/dining area in entrance of a log fireplace with picture home windows over forest and snowy fields. Red Warehouse in Akakura Onsen, Myoko is a family ski lodge with communal self contained amenities right in the heart of the ski village. The lodge is friendly Australian ski club style but with a Japanese twist. Red Warehouse household ski lodge enjoys a suberb ski in, location in Akakura Onsen, Myoko Kogen, just off the main street. It’s a very short walk to eating places, shuttle buses and ski schools/rentals yet solely less than 3 minutes walk/ski to the ski lifts. Staff lodging in Yuzawa consists of self-contained four or six individual apartments ten minutes' walk from Gala. Each house has it's own bathroom and kitchen, though most employees reap the advantages of a meal plan which is out there via Gala. A grocery store and ironmongery store are a brief walk from the accommodation, and the city has a chemist and a convenience store amongst other issues. After the coaching interval, as soon as you have transferred to your house for the remainder of the season, you'll stay in workers accommodation. Australian Museums And Galleries Affiliation Amaga National Convention They're the single most important group of cuneiform textual content ever found, and have formed the foundations of contemporary study of Assyria. This scholar-king's library contained an unparalleled quantity and vary of data. The Ashurbanipal Library Project is making the Library freely obtainable, and researching what this assortment is, and the way and why it was assembled. The collection grew following excavations on the Assyrian sites of Nimrud and Nineveh, which produced giant numbers of stone bas-reliefs together with the well-known Lion Hunt scenes. This battle emphasizes the divide between the Sunni and Shiʿa branches of Islam; Husayn led a resistance in opposition to what the Shiʿa Muslims believed was the Umayyads’ illegitimate rule. The focus of this painting is Husayn’s half brother, ʿAbbas, mounted on a white horse as he stabs a member of Yazid’s military. Individual episodes related to the agonies suffered by Husayn and his companions main as much as and through the battle are illustrated in smaller-scale vignettes on the left. The hereafter is shown on the proper, with Husayn and his companions in heaven above and their opponents in hell under. As collaborative artists, the Lubbesmeyers discover the essential parts of their environment, as translated from literal photographs that live in their minds. Through their inventive process, the twins distill these literal photographs into color and texture. If you have any questions about our identification service, please e mail the department advance of your visit so a member of workers can advise. The Department of the Middle East provides an object identification service. TheHigh Desert Museumis positioned simply 5 minutes south of Bend, Oregon on Hwy 97 and includes a Museum store and café. Open every single day besides the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Get a close-up of native wildlife, corresponding to an otter, burrowing owl, porcupine and badger. Turkmenistan The data doesn't often determine you instantly, but it can provide you a more personalised net experience. Click on the different class headings to search out out more and alter our default settings. However, you want to know that blocking some kinds of cookies might impression your expertise on the location and the companies we're in a place to supply. Russian is given the standing of "the language of interethnical communication." In 1990 nearly half the inhabitants earned wages under the official poverty line, which was 100 rubles per thirty days at that time. Only 3.four percent of the inhabitants obtained more than 300 rubles a month in 1990. In the three years after the onset of inflation in 1991, real wages dropped by forty seven.6 %, which caused a decline in the usual of residing for most residents. In 1990 Turkmen was declared the official language of the nation, and the transition from Russian to Turkmen was to be accomplished by January 1, 1996. However, given the ethnic diversity of the nation and the lack of up to date technical vocabulary in the Turkmen language, Russian continues to be generally used by many people, including Turkmen, in urban areas. In May 1992, it was introduced that Turkmenistan would change to a Latin based mostly, Turkish modified script. Geologists set it on hearth in 1971 to try to cease the spread of methane, and it has been on hearth ever since. It is an attractive sight that ought to positively be in your bucket list of places to go. However as it's in Turkmenistan, it is quite hard to entry as it is quite difficult to obtain a visa.The Turkmen authorities does hope it's going to turn into a preferred tourist attraction and it has the potential. It is strongly really helpful that you apply for a Turkmenistan visa earlier than travelling to Turkmenistan. Festivals & Holidays In Turkmeistan Some public holidays mirror Turkmenistan’s cultural milieu, while others centre on national occasions. Like many international locations within the region, Turkmenistan celebrates the spring festival of Nōrūz. The Islamic holidays of Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha are likewise observed as public holidays. A day of remembrance is held on October 6 to pay respects to the victims of the devastating 1948 earthquake in Ashgabat. Each spring, greater than 200 cherry trees on the Brooklyn Botanic Garden are in full bloom. To have fun, the backyard hosts the weekend-long Cherry Blossom Festival, known by its Japanese name Sakura Matsuri. During the pageant, visitors enjoy scores of events celebrating Japanese tradition including J-pop live shows, traditional Japanese music and dance, taiko drumming, martial arts, bonsai-pruning workshops, tea ceremonies and manga artwork. National Museum of History, which contains a sizeable number of reveals representing 50,000 years of Turkmenistan’s historical past. Another museum, housed within the gold-domed Palace of Knowledge, celebrates and glorifies Niyazov. The city is full of marble edifices and golden statues, most of which had been erected throughout Niyazov’s presidency. Crazy for kites, Bali paints the sky in the course of the month of July with the annual three-day Kite Festival. Biggest is best when it comes to the kite flying competitions in Indonesia. Inquire essential information on occasions in Turkmenistan, such as finding the best occasion and pageant deals previous to leaving Indonesia. It wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without the crystal ball drop in Times Square. In typical years, throngs collect in the surrounding streets to watch the performances and countdown to midnight, however the NYC event that ushered in 2021 was mostly a digital one. There is even one that has the former president, Saparmurat Niyazov using a horse, looking nearly heroic. Presently, the nation is pretty isolated from different nations and, tourism activities were minimal even before the COVID-19 pandemic. Unlike much of the rest of the world, Bali rings within the new yr in silence. Nyepi begins three days earlier than the New Year with a cleansing ritual, adopted by a fascinating exorcism ceremony. Travelogues from Remote Lands is an online journey magazine that includes news, views, and critiques on the world of journey in Asia. Now more than ever discerning travelers need a sense of area and a feeling that where they're is really unique. In this Distance by Design issue, we look to the future of travel in the coming year, focusing on wellbeing, open areas, islands, wildlife, and private jet travel. The Means To Open A Present Shop In Your Lodge If you need a peek at Uzbek luxurious, look no further than the Tosh-Hovli Palace, which was built in the first half of the 19th century. Wander via elaborately adorned courtyards linked by labyrinthian corridors. You could spend about half a day shopping in Hanoi for silk objects like scarves, silk clothes, wall hangings, luggage and so on. If you have publish trip lodging booked with us, additionally, you will need to arrange excursions to further discover Ashgabat. You may seek the guidance of your Turkmen leader on what to book and what to do for your post tour days at an extra expense. Otherwise, you will not be allowed to depart your resort and not using a information in Ashgabat. Take a 40-minute drive to Merv, also called Margiana or Margush, and enjoy some time to explore Turkmenistan's most recognised web site. This is a giant, uncharasmatic lodge with rooms that are a bit shabby, but a good price range choice all the same. Located subsequent to the American embassy and might be your best mixture of price and quality. Yildiz lodge has a wonderful bar and restaurant on the top ground. In the primary ground, the Museum houses displays of silver jewellery for ladies and horses, and replicas of the golden bull- and wolf-head sculptures from Altyn Depe. Cable car, opened in 2006, climbing as much as 1290 meters, offering spectacular views over town with the desert in the background. Eating Places & Cafes Dining options include streetside stalls and cafes, non-public eating places, chaikhanas and, best of all, personal properties. You'll discover a variety of Russian and European beer . From a fresh pot, the primary cup of tea is usually poured away after which a piala of tea is poured out and returned twice into the pot to brew the tea. Kaimak Pure sweet cream, skimmed from fresh milk that has sat in a single day. A wickedly tasty breakfast item, that's wonderful with honey. Central Asians are keen on dried fruits and nuts, notably apricots and apricot stones, which when cracked open have a pith that tastes like pistachios. At any time of year you may discover delicious walnuts, peanuts, raisins and almonds, plus great jams (sea-buckthorn jam is an actual treat) and wonderful mountain honey . Wilbur and Salvador were our butlers who had been amazing. Additionally, we had a great time with the Recreation team. In Turkmenistan, Backed Meals Comes With Strings Hooked Up This research report has been ready utilizing the confirmed WMStrategy's methodology, including a blend of qualitative and quantitative data. The info comes from official sources and insights from market specialists , gathered by semi-structured interviews. For this explicit report, more than 10 market expert interviews have been carried out with consultants from the main market companies (producers, distributors, retailers, suppliers, and so on.). The full listing of interviewed experts and an in depth methodology can be found upon request. Turkmenistan’s economic system stays one of the most repressed in the Index. In some circumstances, if residents do not handle to buy their monthly allotment earlier than the tip of the month, they had been no longer eligible for that month’s allotment. In Ashgabat, observers have lately reported shoppers being pressured to buy undesirable goods that they may not be ready to afford, corresponding to costly rice or bottled water, at elevated prices to be allowed buy staples similar to cooking oil on the subsidized value. Browse 273 turkmenistan market inventory photos and images obtainable, or seek for kyrgyzstan to find extra great inventory photos and photos. Republic of Turkmenistan is situated in Central Asia, bordering the Caspian Sea, between Iran and Kazakhstan. The country's natural assets are petroleum, natural fuel, coal, sulfur, and salt. These financial complexity rankings use 6 digit exports categorized based on the HS96 classification. We think about solely international locations with inhabitants of at least 1 million and exports of at least $1 billion, and products with world commerce over $500 million. To discover completely different rankings and vary these parameters visit the customized rankings part. The high export alternatives for Turkmenistan according to the relatedness index, are Crude Petroleum (0.067), Gold (0.054), Insect Resins (0.052), Other Oily Seeds (0.05), and Other Nuts (0.05). Turkmenistan Adventure Tours, Journeys & Journey Carry the name and handle of your hotel in Turkmen to indicate to drivers to return back. In addition you need to pay an additional tax for the government sponsored fuel costs, relying on the distance of your travel in Turkmenistan. Khoja Alem Baba is located near the city of Kaka, about a hundred thirty km south east of Ashgabat. Travelers ought to be prepared for journey restrictions to be enforce with little or no advance notice. Embassy Ashgabat for added data on these new measures. The constructing reminds me of Dubai’s Burj al-Arab; not only is it the fanciest resort on the town, it’s additionally one of Ashgabat’s iconic, futuristic buildings. This UFO-like construction from Soviet instances looks like it just landed throughout from Ak-Altyn resort once I look via the window the primary morning in Ashgabat. As we’re not keen on performing animals, we’re satisfied with seeing this cool construction from the surface. This isn't just any guide, you see, but the Book of the Soul, aka Turkmenbashi’s autobiography and ponderings. Every evening at 20.00 hrs, the quilt opens and a recording from the book is performed. My first thought on seeing Ashgabat was how much it reminded me of Astana . 搬家 , futuristic structure, lit up in each colour of the rainbow at night. If you're male, try to not walk with a female companion - police might think of this of walking with a prostitute and might simply arrest you. A "tourism tax" of US$ 2 per day was introduced in August 2017 and count on it to be added to your lodge bill. Not many Turkmens could have a primary understanding of English, even in the capital metropolis. Turkmenistan has no much less than one every day prepare between main cities within the country. Tickets cannot be purchased online and trains fill up fast so make sure to get one prematurely. Train classes are typical for the ex-Soviet Union however most of soviet trains have been changed with modern Chinese air-conditioned cars. Flights are subsidised, and due to gas costs, extraordinarily cheap. Central Asia It is the one former Soviet republic to have a constantly constructive trade steadiness because the collapse of the Soviet Union. Turkmenistan has a crucial shortage of industrial capacity to process its agricultural merchandise and natural assets, a state of affairs that has deteriorated considerably since 1991. Turkmenistan's 2006 oil production dropped by 0.5 million tons in 2005 to 9 million tons. With the 2006 harvest of 850,000 tons, Turkmenistan is the second largest cotton producer within the former Soviet Union after Uzbekistan. Turkmenistan was largely made up of nomadic tribes when it received its independence, and the nation continues to revere horses. It has a nationwide vacation in honor of them and horses and riders carry out daring tricks in year-round reveals across the country, as under. And the capital city, Ashgabat, was noted by the Guinness Book of World Records as the house of the most white marble-clad buildings in the world. A picture taken on May 3, 2014, reveals individuals visiting "The Gateway to Hell," an enormous burning gas crater within the coronary heart of Turkmenistan's Karakum desert. He follows within the footsteps of the country's first president, Saparmurat Niyazov, who named the month of January after himself, constructed a $50 million theme park and told people to look after their teeth by chewing on bones. A 69-foot gold leaf statue of Berdymukhamedov riding a horse was unveiled in the capital metropolis of Ashgabat in 2016 — called "The Protector." The country doesn't allow many individuals in, and its president is a fan of exhibiting off by way of picture ops and gold statues. I Stayed In Turkmenistan In A Hotel Run By Secret Police It is very straightforward to search out suitable accommodation in Ashgabat at an inexpensive price. You can get pleasure from a cushty keep for as cheap as $10. If you may be fortunate, then you may get lodging at a less expensive fee. You can get a transit visa — however that’ll solely provide you with three to five days within the nation . Travelling from Iran and must guide a resort room in Ashgabat or different cities Turkmenistan? Open supply journey information to Turkmenistan, that includes up-to-date info on sights, resorts, eating places, nightlife, journey suggestions and more. It being unclear if our room was bugged, as many hotels, cafés and public places in Ashgabat are, I determined to maintain my counsel as to my first impressions. Eating out is likely one of the many pleasures of visiting Turkmenistan. After a protracted day on the seashore, you'll be absolutely rested and may enjoy a enjoyable evening out in Aruba. Dance the night time away at certainly one of our electrifying nightclubs. When the good and cozy Aruban solar sets, the cool evening breezes carry the sounds of laughter, dance, and Caribbean rhythms. No longer a Sofitel however still one of the best hotels in Ashgabat. Location is right subsequent to the Presidential Palace, so near all of the city’s primary sights.

[doctorthedoctor]

A Far Cry From Nothing

After their return from the 17th century, Yaz finds solace in the words she's carried with her for years, and the familiar voice behind them.

Ao3

“Here.” Yaz settles on the floor beside the Doctor, placing a steaming mug in front of her. “A cuppa should help warm you up.”

“Thanks, Yaz,” the Doctor says, defeated. Silence falls between them after that, but it’s the comfortable kind, asking for nothing in return and mingling with the gently crackling fire burning in front of them.

They’re in the library, which is a room the TARDIS has, apparently. Yaz only just learned of it as the Doctor guided her through twisting corridors upon their return from the 17th century. She’s never been this far into the ship before, and she’s certain Graham and Ryan haven’t either. The room isn’t the vast and lavish display she’d expected. It’s small and quaint, dimly lit by candles and oil lamps, with uneven rows of tattered books lining the walls. There is proper, solid wood beneath the edge of the crimson rug they sit on. It feels special, almost like a time capsule tucked away in a lonely corner of the ship.

The Doctor slouches underneath several quilts, only slipping her hands out to reach for the tea. Warm light flickers on her skin as she takes a sip and hums in appreciation.

“Added some cinnamon to it,” Yaz says after taking a sip of her own. “Something my mum used to do back when I had a bad day at school . . . which was most days.”

A corner of the Doctor’s lip twitches into a smile, just for a second, and then it falls.

They’ve been on a few adventures since the Punjab, each a little different but all following the same sort of rhythm. Monsters wearing different faces. Victories with losses in between. Grey areas and deaths that linger as a permanent lump in Yaz’s throat—the kind she knows she’ll never get used to. The kind she doesn’t ever want to get used to. Because what happens when all of that becomes second nature to someone?

The Doctor, she’s learning. That’s what happens.

She can tell this life is one the Doctor has lived for quite some time. Yaz can feel it on her skin, rough fingertips calloused from the hours of work she busies herself with. She can see it in her eyes too. The way they mute and fall every so often when she thinks no one is looking. Sometimes even when she knows they are.

Their most recent adventure had been different, though. It’s not uncommon for the Doctor to become a target to the foes they confront. That is, in fact, painfully common. But something had snapped inside of her this time—almost like she finally put on her glasses and read the fine print of being who she is now. There’s more to consider, the Doctor is realizing, than simple matters of pockets and the like. There are obstructing forces that extend far beyond her control, baring their teeth and snarling over her words.

This is what it means now, to be her. Patronized. Silenced. And, in 17th century Lancashire, tethered to a tree and plunged into a river. Tried as a witch at the command of an ignorant king.

It’s all so clear now. And ridiculous. And wrong.

“Want to talk about it?” Yaz asks softly. The sincerity in her voice is almost warm enough to thaw the Doctor’s growing numbness. Almost. She meets Yaz’s gaze, shaking her head slowly as she breathes an empty laugh.

“You humans,” she mumbles, almost in disbelief. “You make it so hard. So much harder than it needs to be.”

“Make what harder?” Yaz has a feeling she already knows, but that’s not the point. “Existing,” the Doctor explains, her words taut with frustration. “As if it isn’t exhausting enough on its own, you lot have to go and make up all these silly little rules for it. Who’s allowed to do what, and when, and how. Like there’s only one right way and anyone who does it differently is wrong and less than because of it.”

“Yeah,” Yaz admits with a crushed sigh. “We’re pretty good at that, aren’t we?”

“Thirty six women, in one small village, in one tiny pocket of time. Thirty six. Dead. For no good reason.” The Doctor’s eyes fall down to her mug, chasing the swirling flames reflected in the white glaze. “There’s never a good reason,” she murmurs.

“Never,” Yaz agrees. “I’ll never understand it. How people can know they’re hurting someone and decide to keep doing it anyway . . .”

The Doctor looks up at her, surprise and a touch of embarrassment written on her face, as if she’s just realized she isn’t the only one in the room. “Look at me,” she says sheepishly. “I’m sat here sulking as if this is the worst of it.”

Yaz stays quiet, like the words haven’t even reached her, but the Doctor watches intently as her body does the talking. Her jaw flickers ever so slightly and her breathing begins sounding more like a chore. Social cues don’t come naturally to her this time around, but the Doctor finds that Yasmin Khan is a language she can understand almost innately.

“I’m so sorry about Izzy,” she whispers. “I had no idea.”

Yaz’s chest tightens as she forces down a trembling breath. “Don’t like to talk about it much.” She shrugs, trying her best to keep everything in. “It was the worst year of my life. She made me believe so many awful things about myself. Made me feel like nothing.”

“You’re a far cry from nothing, Yaz,” the Doctor insists, hazel eyes beaming as if they reflect the whole of the universe in them.

Black curls mask Yaz’s face as she looks down at the floor and traces a finger over the amber lit grain of the wood. Only part of her is still in the room, the other part tangled up in bitter memories. “Tell that to the little muslim girl with ‘terrorist’ carved into her notebooks,” she says in a small voice. The words might as well be a rock crashing through a mirror; there are no tears, but everything seems to shatter.

Without hesitation, the Doctor slides close, leaving no room between them. She sheds half of her quilts and drapes them tenderly over Yaz, keeping one arm wrapped around her while the other guides her sunken head to rest on her shoulder.

“I’ve got all of time and space in arm's reach,” the Doctor whispers, “maybe I will.”

Yaz cracks a smile and relaxes, letting her body sink into the embrace as she rests her hand on the Doctor’s thigh. Without any forethought, the Doctor dips her head down and feels the soft silk of Yaz’s hair against her lips. It’s like diving into a jar of honey glimmering in the afternoon sun, and it’s in that moment the Doctor knows with certainty that Yasmin Khan will linger on her skin until the end of time itself.

Neither of them say anything, but neither of them feel like they need to. They sit wordlessly, drinking in the comfort of each other’s presence as they so often do. The kiss is quick and gentle, quiet in a way that makes it feel like something that happens all the time. It seems almost like an instinct, but there’s a newness to it—one that plunges Yaz into a pool of rippling warmth and makes her heart stutter. It’s special, she thinks, to have an anchor in the wake of everything else that is.

If only existing outside of these timeworn walls were just as easy.

*           *           *

Yaz finds herself cozied up on her bedroom floor with an old shoebox later that night. She’d unearthed it from the clutter beneath her bed after deciding to give her room a long overdue cleaning. The box is blanketed in brown craft paper decorated with hand-drawn stars of every color, though she’s always favored the purple ones. The corners have dented over the years and edges of the paper are now frayed, but everything that matters on the inside is still there.

The box is brimming with memories. Yaz stumbles into so many pieces of herself she’d forgotten about over the years. Photos from her football days in primary, filled with wide grins and missing teeth. A friendship bracelet her friend, Aisha, had made on their school camping trip. Even one of the daisies Danny had picked for her during their first of many strolls in Endcliffe Park together. And then, at the very bottom, she finds a message scribbled on a ripped piece of notebook paper. The blue lines have since faded, but the words still look as fresh and crisp as the day she found it.

There had been a small electrical fire that day. The entire school lost power, forcing the students and faculty to evacuate with no time to pack up. They waited out in the parking lot for about an hour before learning that they wouldn’t be allowed back in until the following day.

Yaz found all of her belongings sitting exactly as she had left them the day before, with the exception of a tiny shred of paper sticking out of her maths notebook. It was tucked behind a page marked up with an assortment of ugly names that had been hurled at her one too many times before, but in her night away, the names had been firmly—and mysteriously—crossed out.

She never did figure out who was behind it. No student in that school offered her any semblance of kindness with Izzy around, so she’s always chalked it up to having been done by a teacher or janitor that took pity on her. That note was the first flicker of light she’d seen in a long time. Desperate to cling to it, Yaz started a collection of anything that twinkled and made her feel lighter. Her little box of stars, she called it, and she held them close for a very long time. Even after she was rid of Izzy, they continued to bring her endless comfort and warmth. Those stars were her anchor. They still are.

Though she now sits alone in her room, Yaz feels anything but as she raises the note and studies the loosely scrawled letters once more. The handwriting is sloppy, like the words had been jotted in a hurry. The message itself has never translated as careless, though. In fact, those words have nestled into her chest as some of the most sincere words ever spoken to her:

There’s more than this.

You’re more than this.

With one corner of her lips curled into a smile, Yaz runs her thumb over the letters, now realizing that the stranger behind them is actually no stranger at all, but a friend still making their way. An extraordinary sight she’d yet to behold. An entire universe longing to be discovered.

Yaz reads the message over and over, feeling more renewed than she ever has since the day she found it. The words settle further into her chest, nestling deep into the dusty chambers of her heart and warming her from the inside out. Except she can hear a voice with them now, one she knows will echo through her mind long after these stars have found their place back underneath her bed. It’s okay, though, she doesn’t find herself needing them nowadays anyway. The real ones are much brighter, exceptionally warmer, and more stunning than she ever could have dreamed.

And for the first time, Yaz is glad she stuck around to see them.

[iwanttobeyourwonderwoman]

Nobody Gives A Shit, Git (5)

Act 1, scene 1.

Brahmpur, India.

-Enter Lata-

-Spotlight shines on first box-

Kabir Durrani swinging his bat and looks out to the crowd

-Spotlight dims, and shines on second box-

Amit Chatterji, legs stretched out on a bench, jotting down lines of poetry.

-Spotlight dims and shines on third box-

Haresh Khanna placing the contents of his bag neatly on his desk.

-Spotlight dims on all 3 as Lata stares into the darkness-

-Exit Lata-

HELLO HELLOOOOOO and welcome back. Totally steering away from the tension of the elections for this post because I just finished watching A Suitable Boy on netflix the other day and as usual I have certain scenes stuck in my head that need to be discussed.

So an introduction, (And lots of spoilers ahead!)

Netflix’s latest indian release has been A Suitable Boy, an adaptation of a best selling book written by Vikram Seth (which i now kinda wanna read) and in collaboration with BBC studios,  follows the lives of primarily Lata and Maan. Set in post partition independent India, it highlights the journey of self discovery as well as what the title suggests, the search for a suitable boy. Intertwined with lots of secrets and scandals, the show is overall captivating and takes a little bit of a modern twist, mainly because of the fact that the characters mostly speak in English!

The main actress, Lata, was portrayed beautifully as such a well educated and independent woman trying to follow her mother’s wishes of finding her a husband but battles with her own secret love for the dashing Kabir Durrani, a muslim star cricketeer of their school; amongst her slight attraction to her sister-in-law’s younger brother Amit Chatterji, a witty poet who holds the power to charm Lata’s brain as much as her heart, although much to her mother’s disapproval. Lastly, we have Haresh Khanna, a humble and talented cobbler who Lata’s mother has introduced her to as her choice of a suitable boy who is  constantly fighting for Lata and her mother’s approval. Overall this aspect of the show somehow reminded me of GIlmore Girls, because of how close mother and daughter were, as were Lorelai and Rory and also how it was always a battle between Dean, Jess and Logan. But who did Rory, and Lata in this instance, really want to be with in the end amongst their romances with each of the 3 men.

So before starting on the show I had only heard of the title and that the lead role of Maan was played by Ishaan Khatter. The rest of the cast included Tabu, Ram Kapoor and so on. A stellar cast to bring out the dramatic tones of the show and highlight the political and religious unrest, scandals and romance all across the 6 episodes. I mean look at the stellar performance and chemistry between Ishaan and Tabu throughout the show!

Starting the first episode, I realise like I mentioned above, that most of the show is in English which is great for a potato like me so I don’t have to read subtitles. Did it match the setting of 1950s India? Initially I wasn’t sure because how do you portray the accuracy in culture if it’s all in English and then I realised a damn good cast is all you need, which they definately had. Also because its a collaboration with BBC, the show has some actors with stronger British or American accents than others, and yet they transition from speaking in English to Hindi or Urdu very seamlessly. I think this would really help to attract the non Indian crowd to also take an interest in the show, as well as the culture.

Now the whole series has been made to be very theatrical, hence the introduction to my post. Throwing in a little fun fact some might not know about me is that I used to study Theatre and Drama, which made my appreciation grow for this style of directing/acting because I feel like it’s hardly being used nowadays. That being said, i feel like having the show in English was key to bring out all the dramatic aspects of the series. I think many people did not like that or maybe could not understand little aspects of it. I loved it though I thought it was a clever way to show off the historical side as well as attract a bigger audience.

*More spoilers ahead!!*

 My favourite scene though, was the ending of Episode 5!

Maan, in a fit of drunk rage and jealousy, had just stabbed his best fried Firoz.

Firoz enters the scene dragging his feet, hands clutched to his side, as blood gushes out of his stab wound. He stumbles and finally gives up as he falls to the ground and continues to bleed out as the scene ends. The best part is, the whole scene was set to be red in colour with very dim lighting all around but a huge spotlight on Firoz. Wow I cant even explain how well thought-out that scene was and how impactful of an ending they were able to portray in that episode. It’s like creating a whole other air of suspense and drama as you watch him as an audience bleeding out. I mean they could have just shown him bleeding out on the naturally lit street (but then again were streets ever well lit at night in that era???) But what I’m trying to say is that the whole show could have taken a very different direction but i very much enjoyed the theatrical direction. 

Overall, I really liked the series, took me some time to get through all 6 episodes though, but it was worth it. It’s also quite a nice and simple reminder while watching that that was what people were doing at that time, without technology and so on. It also makes us think back to (the unfortunately stereotypical) topic of parents thinking that they have to find a suitable partner for their child after a certain age. I mean as bright as Lata was, she was still made to believe that she had to follow the path laid out for her by her mother when she was portrayed to be an excellent student of English Literature. I mean you could actually cross refer this series to A suitable Girl on netflix (a documentary focusing on 3 indian girls and how they’re parents and society pressurise them to get married as well how their married life ends up looking like) and the problem comes back to society, expectations, religion, pressure and just the indian culture. 

So yes to end it all off, I do definitely recommend this show for primarily Indians but also to non indians to have a better understanding of issues ad culture of that time.

Cast - 5/5!!

Plot - 4/5

Ending - 3.5/5 (Why does she end up with Haresh!!!?????) 

Acting - 5/5!!!

Set/costumes - 5/5

That’s about all I’ve got on this show to end off yet another topic really nobody cares about! Well I’m off to watch The bonus episode of Hookup Plan/ Plan Coeur on netflix which is a French series, which I also previously reviewd back in season . So as usual, my other writings can be found in the gituuuu tab so knock yourselves out folks!! 

[youngjusticeslut]

Why I didn’t like ‘Early Warning’

Throughout the past week, I know that @yjfanvids​ and I have been quite vocal about our distaste for this episode. We are both well-aware that some people will think that we were over-exaggerating. Many people will enjoy this episode. And honestly, I’m happy if you do. But we both tried watching this one multiple times, if only to try and like it more. We didn’t. 

If you watch this episode, and are confused as to why I didn’t like it, I am compiling this elaboration so you may see. If you didn’t see these the first time, maybe you will the second and gain a little more light as to why I felt the things that occurred were problematic. 

Spoilers below the cut.

So let’s break this episode down into The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

The Good: 

- The training scene between Artemis and Tara. Nothing wrong with this scene,  and actually quite endearing. It was nice to see Artemis reminisce over her        abusive upbringing by her father, and I believe this was the first time this was    mentioned out loud, rather than confirmed via an Ask Greg segment. It was      also intriguing to see how Tara was trained by Deathstroke, and it makes me      wonder if perhaps she really will be turned onto the side of good.

- The implication that the Outsiders’ quickly rising fame may not be entirely          good. At the end of the episode, we see that the Outsiders’ fame has                surpassed the Justice League, and it may be more than they bargained for. I      don’t think this will lead to all-positive ramifications, or at least, it shouldn’t.

- Ed joining the Outsiders. Ed finally starts walking the walk, and decides to          join the Outsiders in order to set an example for the meta-teens at the                MHYC. I like how much of an interest the show is taking in Ed, and I’m really      starting to care for him as a character.

- Cassie and Static getting some well deserved screentime and lines. ‘Nuff said. 

- Zatanna’s presence. Just her mere presence is nice. More on that below. 

The Bad: 

-  Dialogue is cheesy and quite underwhelming. While there are some pretty        funny lines in this episode, I more often than not found myself cringing. There    was a lot of dialogue exposition, like when Klarion mentioned that he needs        Teekl to stay active on the mortal plane (as if the show expected us to forget      that from the two (2) episodes dealing with this in Season One). Klarion’s            constipated line made me feel like I was being talked down to, which doesn’t      happen too often in YJ. The line that gave me the most cringe was when the      meta-teens all simultaneously started shouting ‘We Are Outsiders!’. Just            curious, how long had these teens been kidnapped for? Klarion must have          been toying with them for a while, as he was involved in ‘Project Rutabega’        since ‘Evolution’. So... how would these kids know about the ‘Outsiders’              campaign at all? Idk, this felt super cliche and really out of place for me. 

- Klarion’s character. Oof. So much exposition talk. I felt like his character was    very, very dumbed down in this episode. Since when is Klarion that scared of      Dr. Fate? And you’re really telling me that he was able to be distracted by a        bug for that long of a period? Seems preettty convenient that he was attacked    that long for Zatanna to save the day. Just saying.

- Project Rutabaga flying under the radar, and the noses of the JL. So... the JL    had no idea, for years, that this was what was going on? And yet, they knew        Klarion was involved, because Zatanna knew. So... they couldn’t send                  someone to investigate before this happened? I get that they weren’t allowed      in Cuba, but nothing was stopping Zatanna from putting on a glamour charm        way before this episode.

- Zatanna ex machina, aka, Zatanna has less than 5 minutes of screentime and  coincidentally shows up to save the day. Look, I love Zatanna. We all love            Zatanna. But her presence in this episode was quite minor, and yet she                conveniently saved the day with no buildup, no tension, and no consequences.    It was plot convenience at best.

The Ugly: 

- Torture of a POC. Yeah, as a lot of people mentioned in the past, it’s very      interesting how all of the graphic displays of pain/torture/hurt are on                    POCs. This episode continues that, with the branding on a POC girl. 

- “I’m not a Muslim”. Oh, where do I start with this one. Right, so I’m not saying      that she needs a Muslim. And I get that Violet wants 0 connection to                  Gabrielle. But... that brings up the question: Why is she wearing a hijab? You      cannot have both. I’m sorry, but you can’t. Either she is a Muslim, or she isn’t.    To me, personally, it would have been a lot more powerful if instead of                drinking/shooting/kissing, she took off the hijab. Putting that aside, though,          Violet was seen as Muslim and hijabi representation by many people. Not          ideal or perfect representation, but still. And by having her say this, and              having her drink while wearing a hijab.. it leaves a very bitter taste in my              mouth. This line feels like you made a hijabi superhero just for the sake of          diversity, without her being the representation that a lot of people desired.

- The kiss. I can now tell you that when YJFanVids both watched it, we were        livid. We were upset, because we all wanted positive representation. This is        not positive representation. First of all, by having the kissing take place after      shooting guns and underage drinking, you’re equating two women kissing as      a reckless and stupid decision. Something to do for the shits and giggles of        feeling rebellious, rather than an exploration into serious feelings and desires.    Furthermore, the kiss supports the ‘predatory gay person’ trope. Harper didn’t    ask for consent, she didn’t know whether or not Violet was LGBT, she just          kissed her. Also, they ‘both have boyfriends’, but proceed to kiss anyway. I’m      sorry... what? What? The entire scene feels like it was just to have two girls        kissing on screen, without any serious ramifications or meaning behind it. This    is not representation. This is insensitive. Also, why is all of the representation      on Violet this season? With a cast of 5000 characters, there should be ample      opportunity to make someone else LGBT. And yet... everything falls onto            Violet. 

I’m sure there are things I didn’t touch on, but I’m tired. It’s been a week. So, here you go. I’m ready for more anon hate now.

[qaraxuanzenith]

On Representation: A review of The Tyrant’s Tomb

It’s still too early to go to sleep and I have nothing better to productively do, so: time for me to rant angrily about representation.

IMPORTANT WARNING: this will include some (probably minor?) spoilers for The Tyrant’s Tomb by Rick Riordan. Since I’m pretending it’s a review of that book even though it is really just my angry thoughts about representation that were prompted by it. There will also be (definitely minor) spoilers about a character in Rick Riordan’s Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series.

Edit: this rant is long, in addition to the spoilers, so please (but actually, please) read it after the cut.

Okay. First of all: I enjoyed The Tyrant’s Tomb. I’ve been loving the Trials of Apollo series, and this is no exception, and I’m excited for the next book. But.

I have ranted, a lot, about representation before, because I so rarely see Jewish characters in books not written exclusively by and for Jews, and even rarer do I see observant Jewish characters in any media not created exclusively by and for Orthodox Jews. And obviously, I want to feel reflected in at least some of the mainstream media I consume.

The important preface to this rant is a quick review, though I have discussed this, too, before, of the intense pleasure and pain brought on by reading the character of Samirah al-Abbas in Rick Riordan’s Magnus Chase books. Samirah was almost, almost, almost the Holy Grail of “observant religious character” that I had described, almost to a T, of what I am constantly seeking in media: she was a major character, whose religion was a major part of her life in tangible ways throughout the books - from wearing her hijab, to observing modesty in her interactions with her fiance, to performing heroics while fasting for Ramadan - and yet who was characterized well enough that her religion, while inextricably an important part of her life, wasn’t her entire character, either. It was beautiful; it was magnificently done.

And it broke my heart. Because God knows observant Muslim people have deserved Samirah for so long; but her existence on these pages only drove home to me that what I was looking for was possible and yet, impossibly, I still didn’t have it. Samirah was fantastic, but she still wasn’t the representation that I was looking for: I wanted, and still want, those traits, but for a Jewish character, in whom I can see something of myself. I want Samirah, but I want that for me, too.

Flip ahead a couple years (and a few more representation in media rants) to me picking up and reading The Tyrant’s Tomb. I’d pre-ordered it in the summer, while ordering a few books as a birthday present to my sister, and promptly forgotten about it, so when it arrived, it was like a delightful gift from Past Me.

I started reading, and I was so, so excited when the character of Lavinia was introduced, right near the beginning of the book. Right away, Riordan telegraphed that she was both Jewish and queer, with the Magen David necklace and her interest in a female dryad. I was primed and ready to both love her and see myself in her.

And then I was let down.

Now, before I dig deep into the many ways in which Lavinia was a complete and utter disappointment, I want to offer an important caveat, referring to my preface about Samirah. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m castigating Riordan for trying, when so many other mainstream writers don’t. At least he made her canonically Jewish on-page, rather than hiding behind a Jewish-sounding last name and then declaring it to be the truth off-page (looking at you, Rowling and Anthony Goldstein). At least there is a Jewish character in his books (looking at... almost every other mainstream YA fantasy series I’ve ever read not written by Jews).

But the thing is, we raise our expectations of people based on what we know they are capable of. I’m a teacher; a level 3 “Meets Expectations” is going to look different for my academically-struggling student who is working really hard to improve, as opposed to my bookworm student who started the year off by turning in a long and erudite personal essay.

Most of those other mainstream YA fantasy writers, I don’t have any expectations of. Whereas Rick Riordan, the man who created Samirah al-Abbas: I know exactly what he is capable of. Which is why it hurts so much more that, when it comes to a Jewish character, he falls so strikingly short.

I’ll be fair: I wasn’t expecting a second, Jewish Samirah from him. That wouldn’t be reasonable. I would like that, someday, from someone, but that will have to be in someone else’s book; it wouldn’t make sense for Riordan to retread the exact same ground, and I understand that.

And Lavinia didn’t have to be observant - as I’ve recognized, he already has Samirah for that. But I was hoping, expecting, for her to be something more than Jewish In Name Only. (Strike that: she may have been Jewish on-page, but Riordan never even used the J word. He wrote around it. Why? I don’t know. Presumably not just to disappoint me.)

So what’s wrong with Lavinia? And how could he have done better with her?

Great news: I’ve got a bulleted list to help with that, starting with the simple and working our way up.

To start with: her last name. I’ve been going over and over this dozens of times, and I still can’t quite work out why, for his one Jewish character, Riordan decided to give her the last name of one of the most famous Jewish speculative fiction writers, and then (a) never once acknowledge this connection, and (b) acknowledge that she shares her name with a famous Jewish... fictional dancer. Why Asimov, if he wasn’t going to say anything at all about the Asimov?

Continuing with her name: her first name. I get that Riordan likes to give Romanesque names to the Roman demigods, but this overlooks the fact that the demigods are almost always named by their human parent; and while Sally Jackson had her reasons for naming her son after a Greek hero, most Jewish parents will give their child a Jewish name, if not the actual name of a recently-deceased relative. But okay. Fine. I wouldn’t want to mess with the thematic naming in the book; but how about a name that evokes the intersection of Roman and Jewish history: Salome, or Salome Alexandra, for instance?

Speaking of that intersection of Roman and Jewish: I’m still too relieved at finding a Jewish character, any Jewish character, in his books, to be offended that this Jewish character ends the book as a centurion in a Roman army, but - she should be. Lavinia should, at some point in the book, have expressed discomfort at the Roman side of her heritage, as it intersects with her Jewish culture and history. And it would have been so easy: throughout the book, Lavinia has problems with authority and with the structures of the Legion in particular. Just once, she could have defended that rebelliousness - honestly or not - with a reference to how the Roman legions once destroyed her people’s Temple, razed her homeland, and subjugated her people with an exile that is still, in many ways, ongoing to this day. Not in so many words, obviously; I’m not asking Riordan to write it the way I did. Just something like “Yeah, well, Roman Legions and Jews aren’t usually a good mix.” Or here’s another way she could have expressed her Roman discomfort: in that conversation about awkwardness. Instead of “You want awkward? Try telling your Rabbi that you’re taking a girl as your date to your Bat Mitzvah,” she could have said: “You want awkward? Try being a Jewish demigod.” “You want awkward? Try being a queer Jew in a Roman legion.”

SPEAKING OF THAT INSANE AND PERPLEXING COMMENT ABOUT RABBIS AND BAT MITZVAHS, I have so so so many problems with that line:

First of all, given the premise that Lavinia as written is very clearly not an observant Jew by any means or interpretation, and does not appear to have any Jewish community ties, it is strange to me that she speaks about having a rabbi. Typically, people who have a rabbi are either (a) observant people who go to this rabbi with religious questions, or (b) community-oriented people who see the rabbi of their community (or another chosen spiritual leader in their chosen community) as their rabbi. Lavinia appears to be neither, so why “try telling your rabbi that...” and not, say, “try telling the rabbi at your shul that...”?

Okay but forget whose rabbi this is: why is she telling the rabbi about her date? Why is that necessary? For those (like Rick Riordan??) unfamiliar with what a Bat Mitzvah is: A Bat Mitzvah is actually the term for a (female) person who has reached the age of religious responsibility in Judaism, and it happens automatically when a girl turns 12 (and for a boy - Bar Mitzvah - when he turns 13). But okay, I’ll stop being so pedantic, and agree that Riordan, and Lavinia, were obviously referring to the party that is commonly held to celebrate this milestone. But that’s all it is: a party celebrating a milestone. Although there is often a prayer service and/or a Torah reading, there is no ritual aspect to a Bat Mitzvah celebration. Other than, again, perhaps the prayer service / Torah reading, there is definitely nothing you would need to inform a rabbi of. You would definitely not be telling the rabbi about your guest list, unless the rabbi is your parent/guardian / the person paying for the party.

But never mind who she’s telling about her date: did you miss the part where I noted that a Bat Mitzvah is for a girl turning twelve. Speaking as somebody who has celebrated a Bat Mitzvah for myself, and who has attended many such celebrations as a guest, I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt: you do not invite a date to this event, whether you are a guest or the girl of honour. For one thing, you are twelve. Twelve is too young to be bringing dates! For another, you’re going to a party full of twelve-year-olds, where there will be maybe a prayer service and then a nice meal and then probably a bunch of twelve-year-olds bopping around to some obnoxiously loud music. I get Lavinia’s trying to let us know she was already very gay when she was twelve, but that does not explain bringing a date, female or otherwise, to her own Bat Mitzvah. Just ask the girl as a normal guest and then awkwardly ask her to dance, for heaven’s sake!

In conclusion, that entire sentence made no sense, and it really only accomplished two things: (a) it gave me the impression, rightly or wrongly, that Riordan knows absolutely nothing about Judaism; and (b) it strongly implied, unfairly, that rabbis in general are homophobic, which it why it was so awkward for Lavinia to tell her rabbi about her nonsensical date.

Throughout the book, Lavinia’s big crusade is ecological safety, protecting the nature spirits and the environment, and the homeless people living in the park who would be impacted by the Emperors’ attacks. It would have been so easy to infuse this important aspect of her personality with her Jewishness, by just letting her throw around the term “tikun olam” in that context. It would have absolutely fit with the culturally-not-religiously Jewish air he was clearly going for, and it would have made her seem 10,000% more authentically Jewish to me, with just, my God, two words added to the entire book.

You want another way to make her seem more realistically, three-dimensionally Jewish? How about, oh, I dunno, her one Jewish parent? (By the way: it has not slipped my attention that Lavinia’s one Jewish parent is her father, meaning that except by Reform definitions, she’s not, technically, Jewish at all; just canonically connected to Jewish culture. Are paternal Jews who consider themselves Jewish valid and Jewish? Of course. Am I nonetheless extremely disappointed that he’s managed to water down the Jewishness of his one Jewish character in 20+ books in this additional way? Absolutely.) Apollo showed great interest in asking her about her father, the famous Asimov... dancer (I’m sorry, I still can’t get over that he named her Asimov and did not make a single reference to Asimov; is Isaac Asimov the only Jew he’s ever heard of or something???). She could have alluded to his Jewishness. “Yeah, Sergei’s still mad that I stopped coming to our Asimov family Seders.”

Instead, other than the absurd-and-mildly-offensive rabbi-and-Bat-Mitzvah line, what is the only evidence we have that Lavinia even is of Jewish descent? Ah, yes. The thing that got me so excited in the first place, as - or so I thought - a hint of Jewishness to come: her Magen David necklace. Except of course, Riordan only ever calls it a “Star of David,” because - okay, that’s what Apollo would call it in his narration, and of course Lavinia never said a word about it, despite all the times she played with it. Never explained where she got it from, or why she wore it, or what made it so important to her. So it had no sentimental or cultural value conveyed to the reader. It was just a visual cue to tell us: “Jewish character.” It was as anemic and anodyne a way of making her Jewish as the Menorah-on-the-Mantelpiece trick that I’ve often complained about in TV shows that want to suddenly establish a character is Jewish - except worse, because at least with a Menorah on the mantel, we’ve got the implication that somebody lights it (if it’s a Chanukiyah) on Chanukah. This is just a star, on a necklace.

In conclusion: Lavinia could have been great. She could have been a queer Jewish demigod, passionate about nature and about tikun olam, complex and uncomfortable with her role as a Jewish person in the Legion despite her absolute commitment to helping her friends survive the attack and defeat their dangerous enemies.

Instead, she was a disappointment. She was characterized well, for what she was. But what she was was a girl with a necklace. A queer Roman demigod with a famous dancer father.

I started this rant expecting to call her Jewish in name only. But she wasn’t even that.

Perhaps it’s unfair of me to call Lavinia a disappointment, from how anemic her Jewishness was. The real disappointment in The Tyrant’s Tomb was Rick Riordan.

[latter-day-saint-nick]

Here‘s a list of all the books with queer protagonists I’ve read this year. While I do actively seek those out, there are several books on here that I didn’t know had queer themes when I picked them up from the library and then I was pleasantly surprised by lesbians. I‘ll avoid spoilers except when discussing trigger warnings.

 Kaleidoscope Song by Fox Benwell

Neo, a South African teenager, is obsessed with music of any kind. Her love of music brings her together with the singer of a local band and they have a passionate relationship that they must keep secret. The descriptions of Neo‘s life and her tendency to hear music in everything are beautiful and dynamic. The author included a list of the songs Neo is listening to throughout the book, so I was introduced to a lot of cool music from South Africa and other places. TW: Corrective rape and Bury Your Gays. This is a book by a queer (albeit white British, rather than black South African) author writing about a very real problem that exists within our communities, so it feels different to when a cishet author kills off a queer character just for shock value. I still can‘t help feeling that he could have made the same point without having the character die – just have her be injured. Still, I loved pretty much everything else about the book, so it gets a tentative recommendation from me.

The Mermaid’s Daughter by Ann Claycomb

25-year-old opera student Kathleen tries to cope with the constant pain in her feet, nightmares about having her tongue cut out, and desperate yearning for the sea. With the help of her girlfriend Harry she delves into her family history to uncover the secret of a curse spanning generations of women. What’s nice about this book is that Kathleen and Harry’s relationship is accepted by all their family and friends without question, so if you want to read a nice wlw fantasy story with no homophobia, this one’s for you. TW: Some discussion of suicide, but nothing too graphic.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

A teenage lesbian is sent to conversion therapy by her religious aunt. This is basically a coming-of-age story as the title character comes to terms with her identity and the death of her parents. It’s considered an important work of LGBT YA literature, so I really wanted to like it more than I did. Most of the first half of the novel deals with Cameron’s everyday life in her small town in Montana, which was, to be honest, rather boring to me. The pace of the story picks up a bit once she gets sent to conversion therapy, but even then it’s slower and less eventful than I would have liked. But since it is a popular book, that’s probably just me. I did like that the two best friends she makes at the therapy camp are a disabled girl and an indigenous boy, two types of people that are not often represented in queer fiction, so that’s something. TW: Conversion therapy and self-harm.

Proud by Juno Dawson

This is a collection of poems and stories about queerness aimed at a YA audience, and each one is a pure delight! These stories detail moments of joy and pride that make you feel happy and hopeful about being queer. They include a high school retelling of Pride and Prejudice with lesbians, a nonbinary kid and his D&D group on a quest to disrupt the gender binary at their school, a magical phoenix leading a Chinese girl to find love, and gay penguins. All stories, poems and illustrations are by queer writers and artists. Seriously, I cannot recommend this collection enough!

Spellbook of the Lost and Found by Moïra Fowley-Doyle

An Irish magical realist story about three girls who perform a spell to find things that they have lost. The spell appears to have wider consequences than they expected, bringing to light things that should have stayed lost. This book has three narrators, two of whom are wlw. It treads a nice line between fantasy and reality, and has some pretty good plot twists. Also, there’s a crossword at the end, which is awesome. More books should come with crosswords.

Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Sword and Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie

A space opera trilogy set in the distant future about the embodiment of a ship’s AI who seeks revenge against the ruler of a colonialist empire who destroyed her ship and killed her beloved captain. This is not beginner’s sci-fi, as it is very complex and intricate, but if you’re fine with a bit of a heavier read, you’ll be rewarded with some very interesting concepts. What makes this series queer is that the Raadch empire has no concept of gender and uses female pronouns for everyone. This makes every romantic relationship queer by default, whether we are aware of the characters’ sexes or not. I found it particularly enjoyable when Breq, the protagonist, tried to communicate in different languages that have gendered pronouns, which she had to navigate carefully in order not to offend people. She tries to look for outward clues of gender, such as hairstyles, chest size, facial hair or Adam’s apples, but even then often gets it wrong, because these things are not always consistent. That is just a great depiction of how arbitrary ideas of binary sexual characteristics tend to be. Also, I guess technically Breq is aroace, but since she’s not human, I’m not sure if she can be considered the best representation, though she is a very likeable character that I enjoyed following.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

These books are a lot of fun! They’re historical adventure stories with a bit of fantasy thrown in, featuring disaster bisexual Henry Montague, his snarky aroace sister Felicity and his best friend Percy whom he is secretly in love with. In the first book, the three teenagers are sent on a tour of Europe for various reasons, but they quickly abandon the planned route when they get embroiled in a plot involving theft and alchemy. The second book details Felicity’s further attempts to become a doctor, which leads her to reunite with an old friend and chase a tale of fantastical creatures.

The Spy with the Red Balloon by Katherine Locke

Technically I read this one late last year, but whatever. I just wanted to put it on the list to have an excuse to talk about it. It’s about two Jewish siblings with magic powers who are recruited during World War II to take part in a secret project to fight the Nazis. Both siblings turn out to be queer: the brother is gay and demisexual, while the sister is bisexual, and they each have a love interest. This book is an independent prequel to The Girl with the Red Balloon, which takes place in East Berlin during the time of the Wall, and is just as good, albeit not as gay.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

This book tends to be classified as fantasy, because it takes place in an alternate, Latin-American-inspired world, with a distinct history, culture and religion, but there’s no magic at all, so I’m not sure it counts. But I digress. The country of Medio is built on classism and acute xenophobia. But by hiding her status as an illegal immigrant, Daniela, a girl from a poor background, manages to rise to the top of her class at her elite finishing school and become the first wife of one of the most powerful young men in the country. But her new comfortable status is threatened when she is pressured to join a group of rebels who fight for equality. At the same time, she also finds herself falling for her husband’s second wife. Obviously, this book’s political message is very topical, but beyond that, it’s just a very good story, with a well fleshed-out fictional world and great characters. This is the first in a series, with the sequel, We Unleash the Merciless Storm, coming out in February.

All Out: The No Longer Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Saundra Mitchell

A very nice collection of short stories about various queer teenagers in different historical settings, from a medieval monastery to an American suburb on New Year’s Eve in 1999. Most of the stories are realist, but there are a few ghosts and witches to be found in-between. What I found particularly notable about this book is that it featured several asexual characters, which you don’t often see in collections like this. I definitely recommend it.

Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta

This is a thoughtful, heart-warming life story about a woman growing up during the civil war in Nigeria. After Ijeoma, a Christian Igbo girl, is sent away from home, she finds her first love in Amina, a Muslim Hausa. Even after they are found out and separated, Ijeoma doesn’t quite understand what’s so shameful about their love. Still, as she grows older, she attempts to fit into a heteronormative society while also connecting with the things and people that make her happy. TW: Homophobic violence, including an attack on a gay nightclub. The novel makes up for this by having a remarkably happy ending.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley

A young man in Victorian London finds a mysterious watch on his pillow, with no idea how it got there. This sets into motion a strange series of events, which leads him to a lonely Japanese watchmaker, to whom he finds himself increasingly drawn. This is an unusual novel that treads the line between historical fiction, fantasy and sci-fi. Most of the characters are morally grey and have complex motivations, but are still likable. I just really enjoy stories that take place in this time period, particularly when they are this thoughtfully written and don’t just take the prejudices of the past for granted.

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

A YA book about a transgender teenager, written by a transgender author. After her mother decides that she is not safe in her hometown anymore, high school senior Amanda moves in with her dad in a town where nobody knows her and she can try to go stealth. But even as she is making friends and experiencing romance for the first time, she constantly worries about what will happen if her secret comes out. It’s a fairly standard story about being transgender, really, but as it comes from a trans author, it feels a lot more personal and less voyeuristic than these stories tend to be when coming from a cisgender perspective. Amanda is a sympathetic and compelling character. TW: This book deals with a number of upsetting themes, including transphobic violence, being forcibly outed and suicide. There is a flashback to Amanda’s pre-transition suicide attempt, which I found particularly triggering. I also wish she could have come out on her own terms, instead of being outed in front of the whole school by someone she thought she could trust. It is still a pretty good book, but it can be very upsetting at times.

As I Descended by Robin Talley

A loose retelling of Macbeth that takes place in a boarding school in Virginia and involves two queer couples. The supernatural elements of the play are amplified in a wonderfully creepy way, and the characters are complex and realistic, so you understand their motivations, even when they do bad things. TW: Out of the five queer characters in the novel, three die, two of them by suicide.

A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo by Jill Twiss and EG Keller

A charming picture book about the Vice President’s pet bunny who falls in love with another boy bunny and wants to hop around at his side for the rest of his life. This book was written as a screw you to Mike Pence, but even so it is a genuinely nice kid’s book that deals with homosexuality and marriage equality in a way that is appropriate for young children. The illustrations are incredibly cute as well.

Palimpsest by Catherynne M. Valente

A very strange, surreal tale about four people (most of whom are queer in some way) exploring a magical city that you can enter in your dreams by sleeping with someone who has been there before. I wanted to like this one more than I did, because I really love Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland books for children. But while some of the dreamlike imagery is cool and pretty, I found a lot of it weirdly uncomfortable, along with the frequent sex scenes.

The Pearl Thief by Elizabeth Wein

15-year-old Julia is home for the summer at her parents’ ancestral mansion in Scotland and gets involved with a plot about theft, disappearance and possibly murder. She also has her first crushes – on a man working at her parents’ estate and a young Traveller girl, respectively. This is a prequel to Code Name Verity, which has the same protagonist, though her bisexuality isn’t really alluded to in that, which is why I’ve kept it off the list, even though it is an excellent book. The Pearl Thief is pretty good as well, though it is a bit strange to read after you’ve already read Verity and know that this carefree teenage character is going to grow up to be a spy in World War II and be tortured in a Nazi prison. Do read both books, though. They are great.

Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson

A young scientist falls in love with the wife of the man she’s having an affair with. There’s speculation about quantum mechanics and interconnectedness, all wrapped in very poetic language. To be perfectly honest, I really didn’t get it, so I have no idea what any of it means. But at least the main character is bisexual and polyamorous (and possibly genderfluid – I’m not sure).

Queer Africa by Makhosazana Xaba and Karen Martin

A collection of short stories by queer African writers, discussing themes like love, sex, marriage, family and homophobia. The attitudes towards queerness in these different countries varies. In many of them, homosexuality is illegal, even though same-sex relationships used to be respected before the interference of Western colonialism. In any case, these stories are an interesting and oftentimes beautiful examination of queerness from a non-Western point of view, some joyous and some tragic. TW: The second to last story is about incest.

[richincolor]

Crystal’s 2019 Favorites

Truly this is the most difficult post of the year for me. There were so many excellent books published this year, but I finally narrowed it down to the following seven titles:

An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, adapted by Debbie Reese and Jean Mendoza Beacon Press || Crystal’s Review

Going beyond the story of America as a country “discovered” by a few brave men in the “New World,” Indigenous human rights advocate Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz reveals the roles that settler colonialism and policies of American Indian genocide played in forming our national identity.

The original academic text is fully adapted by renowned curriculum experts Debbie Reese and Jean Mendoza, for middle-grade and young adult readers to include discussion topics, archival images, original maps, recommendations for further reading, and other materials to encourage students, teachers, and general readers to think critically about their own place in history.

Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian Balzer + Bray || Crystal’s Review

It’s 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

Reza is an Iranian boy who has just moved to the city with his mother to live with his stepfather and stepbrother. He’s terrified that someone will guess the truth he can barely acknowledge about himself. Reza knows he’s gay, but all he knows of gay life are the media’s images of men dying of AIDS.

Judy is an aspiring fashion designer who worships her uncle Stephen, a gay man with AIDS who devotes his time to activism as a member of ACT UP. Judy has never imagined finding romance…until she falls for Reza and they start dating.

Art is Judy’s best friend, their school’s only out and proud teen. He’ll never be who his conservative parents want him to be, so he rebels by documenting the AIDS crisis through his photographs.

As Reza and Art grow closer, Reza struggles to find a way out of his deception that won’t break Judy’s heart–and destroy the most meaningful friendship he’s ever known.

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo HarperTeen || Group Discussion

With her daughter to care for and her abuela to help support, high school senior Emoni Santiago has to make the tough decisions, and do what must be done. The one place she can let her responsibilities go is in the kitchen, where she adds a little something magical to everything she cooks, turning her food into straight-up goodness. Still, she knows she doesn’t have enough time for her school’s new culinary arts class, doesn’t have the money for the class’s trip to Spain — and shouldn’t still be dreaming of someday working in a real kitchen. But even with all the rules she has for her life — and all the rules everyone expects her to play by — once Emoni starts cooking, her only real choice is to let her talent break free.

Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali Salaam Reads || Crystal’s Review

A marvel: something you find amazing. Even ordinary-amazing. Like potatoes—because they make French fries happen. Like the perfect fries Adam and his mom used to make together.

An oddity: whatever gives you pause. Like the fact that there are hateful people in the world. Like Zayneb’s teacher, who won’t stop reminding the class how “bad” Muslims are.

But Zayneb, the only Muslim in class, isn’t bad. She’s angry.

When she gets suspended for confronting her teacher, and he begins investigating her activist friends, Zayneb heads to her aunt’s house in Doha, Qatar, for an early start to spring break.

Fueled by the guilt of getting her friends in trouble, she resolves to try out a newer, “nicer” version of herself in a place where no one knows her.

Then her path crosses with Adam’s.

Since he got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in November, Adam’s stopped going to classes, intent, instead, on perfecting the making of things. Intent on keeping the memory of his mom alive for his little sister.

Adam’s also intent on keeping his diagnosis a secret from his grieving father.

Alone, Adam and Zayneb are playing roles for others, keeping their real thoughts locked away in their journals.

Until a marvel and an oddity occurs…

Marvel: Adam and Zayneb meeting.

Oddity: Adam and Zayneb meeting.

The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam’s Sons || Crystal’s Review

Atlanta, 1890: By day, seventeen-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady’s maid for the cruel daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Atlanta. But by night, Jo moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column for the genteel Southern lady, “Dear Miss Sweetie.” When her column becomes wildly popular, she uses the power of the pen to address some of society’s ills, but she’s not prepared for the backlash that follows when her column challenges fixed ideas about race and gender.

While her opponents clamor to uncover the secret identity of Miss Sweetie, a mysterious letter sets Jo off on a search for her own past and the parents who abandoned her as a baby. But when her efforts put her in the crosshairs of Atlanta’s most notorious criminal, Jo must decide whether she, a girl used to living in the shadows, is ready to step into the light. With prose that is witty, insightful, and at times heartbreaking, Stacey Lee masterfully crafts an extraordinary social drama set in the New South.

The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf Salaam Reads || Crystal’s Review

A music loving teen with OCD does everything she can to find her way back to her mother during the historic race riots in 1969 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, in this heart-pounding literary debut.

Melati Ahmad looks like your typical movie-going, Beatles-obsessed sixteen-year-old. Unlike most other sixteen-year-olds though, Mel also believes that she harbors a djinn inside her, one who threatens her with horrific images of her mother’s death unless she adheres to an elaborate ritual of counting and tapping to keep him satisfied.

But there are things that Melati can’t protect her mother from. On the evening of May 13th, 1969, racial tensions in her home city of Kuala Lumpur boil over. The Chinese and Malays are at war, and Mel and her mother become separated by a city in flames.

With a 24-hour curfew in place and all lines of communication down, it will take the help of a Chinese boy named Vincent and all of the courage and grit in Melati’s arsenal to overcome the violence on the streets, her own prejudices, and her djinn’s surging power to make it back to the one person she can’t risk losing.

*** CONTENT WARNINGS: Racism, on-page death, graphic violence, OCD and anxiety triggers. If you are affected by any of these things, please do consider setting the book aside until you feel more able to take them on. ***

Full Disclosure by Camryn Garrett Audrey’s Review

In a community that isn’t always understanding, an HIV-positive teen must navigate fear, disclosure, and radical self-acceptance when she falls in love—and lust—for the first time. Powerful and uplifting, Full Disclosure will speak to fans of Angie Thomas and Nicola Yoon.

Simone Garcia-Hampton is starting over at a new school, and this time things will be different. She’s making real friends, making a name for herself as student director of Rent, and making a play for Miles, the guy who makes her melt every time he walks into a room. The last thing she wants is for word to get out that she’s HIV-positive, because last time . . . well, last time things got ugly.

Keeping her viral load under control is easy, but keeping her diagnosis under wraps is not so simple. As Simone and Miles start going out for real—shy kisses escalating into much more—she feels an uneasiness that goes beyond butterflies. She knows she has to tell him that she’s positive, especially if sex is a possibility, but she’s terrified of how he’ll react! And then she finds an anonymous note in her locker: I know you have HIV. You have until Thanksgiving to stop hanging out with Miles. Or everyone else will know too.

Simone’s first instinct is to protect her secret at all costs, but as she gains a deeper understanding of the prejudice and fear in her community, she begins to wonder if the only way to rise above is to face the haters head-on…

[quietya]

Some YA Books You May Have Missed So Far in 2019

Your mod is here! I meant to do this monthly, then bimonthly, and now we’re a quarter of the way through 2019. I wanted to take a moment and highlight some books that have come out between January and March that deserve more hype.

Please note that this IS a curated list, exclusively featuring books I’ve read or want to read. February and March releases are below the cut.

Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer Release: January 15

Echo Alkaev’s safe and carefully structured world falls apart when her father leaves for the city and mysteriously disappears. Believing he is lost forever, Echo is shocked to find him half-frozen in the winter forest six months later, guarded by a strange talking wolf—the same creature who attacked her as a child. The wolf presents Echo with an ultimatum: If she lives with him for one year, he will ensure her father makes it home safely. But there is more to the wolf than Echo realizes. 96 Words for Love by Rachel Roy and Ava Dash Release: January 15

A modern retelling of a classic Indian legend, 96 Words for Love is a coming-of-age story. Ever since her acceptance to UCLA, 17-year-old Raya Liston has been quietly freaking out. She feels simultaneously lost and trapped by a future already mapped out for her. Then her beloved grandmother dies, and Raya jumps at the chance to spend her last free summer at the ashram in India where her grandmother met and fell in love with her grandfather. Raya hopes to find her center and her true path. But she didn't expect to fall in love... with a country of beautiful contradictions, her fiercely loyal cousin, a local girl with a passion for reading, and a boy who teaches her that in Sanskrit, there are 96 different ways to say the word "love."

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon Release: January 15

Sophie Orenstein would do anything for Peter Rosenthal-Porter, who’s been on the kidney transplant list as long as she’s known him. Peter is everything to Sophie: best friend, musical collaborator, secret crush. When she learns she’s a match, donating a kidney is an easy, obvious choice. She can’t help wondering if after the transplant, he’ll love her back the way she’s always wanted. But Peter’s life post-transplant isn’t what either of them expected. Though he once had feelings for Sophie too, he’s now drawn to Chase, the guitarist in a band that happens to be looking for a keyboardist. And while neglected parts of Sophie’s world are calling to her—dance opportunities, new friends, a sister and niece she barely knows—she longs for a now-distant Peter more than ever, growing increasingly bitter he doesn’t seem to feel the same connection. Peter fears he’ll forever be indebted to her. Sophie isn’t sure who she is without him. Then one blurry, heartbreaking night twists their relationship into something neither of them recognizes, leading them to question their past, their future, and whether their friendship is even worth fighting for.

All is Fair by Dee Garretson Release: January 22

It's 1918, and war is raging across Europe. Lady Mina Tretheway knows she's destined for greater things than her fancy boarding school, where she's stuck sorting out which fork should be used with which dinner course. When Mina receives a telegram that's written in code, she finally has her chance to do something big. She returns to her childhood home of Hallington Manor, joined by a family friend, Lord Andrew Graham, and a mysterious young American, Lucas. The three of them must band together to work on a dangerous project that could turn the tide of the war. Thrilled that she gets to contribute to the war effort at least, Mina jumps headfirst into the world of cryptic messages, spycraft, and international intrigue. She, Lucas, and Andrew have to work quickly, because if they don't succeed, more soldiers will disappear into the darkness of war.

The Cold is in Her Bones by Peternelle van Arsdale Release: January 22

Milla knows two things to be true: Demons are real, and fear will keep her safe. Milla's whole world is her family's farm. She is never allowed to travel to the village and her only friend is her beloved older brother, Niklas. When a bright-eyed girl named Iris comes to stay, Milla hopes her loneliness might finally be coming to an end. But Iris has a secret she's forbidden to share: The village is cursed by a demon who possesses girls at random, and the townspeople live in terror of who it will come for next. Now, it seems, the demon has come for Iris. When Iris is captured and imprisoned with other possessed girls, Milla leaves home to rescue her and break the curse forever. Her only company on the journey is a terrible new secret of her own: Milla is changing, too, and may soon be a demon herself. The Dead Queens Club by Hannah Capin Release: January 29

What do a future ambassador, an overly ambitious Francophile, a hospital-volunteering Girl Scout, the new girl from Cleveland, the junior cheer captain, and the vice president of the debate club have in common? It sounds like the ridiculously long lead-up to an astoundingly absurd punchline, right? Except it’s not. Well, unless my life is the joke, which is kind of starting to look like a possibility given how beyond soap opera it’s been since I moved to Lancaster. But anyway, here’s your answer: we’ve all had the questionable privilege of going out with Lancaster High School’s de facto king. Otherwise known as my best friend. Otherwise known as the reason I’ve already helped steal a car, a jet ski, and one hundred spray-painted water bottles when it’s not even Christmas break yet. Otherwise known as Henry. Jersey number 8.

The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali by Sabina Khan Release: January 29

Seventeen-year-old Rukhsana Ali tries her hardest to live up to her conservative Muslim parents’ expectations, but lately she’s finding that harder and harder to do. Luckily, only a few more months stand between her carefully monitored life in Seattle and her new life at Caltech, where she can pursue her dream of becoming an engineer. But when her parents catch her kissing her girlfriend Ariana, all of Rukhsana’s plans fall apart. Her parents are devastated; being gay may as well be a death sentence in the Bengali community. They immediately whisk Rukhsana off to Bangladesh, where she is thrown headfirst into a world of arranged marriages and tradition. Only through reading her grandmother’s old diary is Rukhsana able to gain some much needed perspective. Rukhsana realizes she must find the courage to fight for her love, but can she do so without losing everyone and everything in her life?

The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf Release: February 5

Melati Ahmad looks like your typical moviegoing, Beatles-obsessed sixteen-year-old. Unlike most other sixteen-year-olds though, Mel also believes that she harbors a djinn inside her, one who threatens her with horrific images of her mother’s death unless she adheres to an elaborate ritual of counting and tapping to keep him satisfied. But there are things that Melati can't protect her mother from. On the evening of May 13th, 1969, racial tensions in her home city of Kuala Lumpur boil over. The Chinese and Malays are at war, and Mel and her mother become separated by a city in flames. With a 24-hour curfew in place and all lines of communication down, it will take the help of a Chinese boy named Vincent and all of the courage and grit in Melati’s arsenal to overcome the violence on the streets, her own prejudices, and her djinn’s surging power to make it back to the one person she can’t risk losing.

Dark of the West by Joanna Hathaway Release: February 5

Aurelia Isendare is a princess of a small kingdom in the North, raised in privilege but shielded from politics as her brother prepares to step up to the throne. Halfway around the world, Athan Dakar, the youngest son of a ruthless general, is a fighter pilot longing for a life away from the front lines. When Athan’s mother is shot and killed, his father is convinced it’s the work of his old rival, the Queen of Etania—Aurelia’s mother. Determined to avenge his wife’s murder, he devises a plot to overthrow the Queen, a plot which sends Athan undercover to Etania to gain intel from her children. Athan’s mission becomes complicated when he finds himself falling for the girl he’s been tasked with spying upon. Aurelia feels the same attraction, all the while desperately seeking to stop the war threatening to break between the Southern territory and the old Northern kingdoms that control it—a war in which Athan’s father is determined to play a role. As diplomatic ties manage to just barely hold, the two teens struggle to remain loyal to their families and each other as they learn that war is not as black and white as they’ve been raised to believe.

The Antidote by Shelley Sackier Release: February 5

Magic is not allowed, under any circumstances — even if it could save someone’s life. Instead, there are herbal remedies and traditional techniques. Fee knows this, so she keeps her magic a secret. Except her best friend, Xavi, is deathly ill. He’s also the crown prince. Saving him is important, not only for her, but for the entire kingdom. Fee’s desperation to save her friend means she can barely contain the magic inside her. And after the tiniest of slips, Fee is thrust into a dark and secretive world that is as alluring as it is dangerous. If she gives in, it could mean she can save Xavi. But it also means that those who wish to snuff out magic might just snuff her out in the process.

The Deceivers by Kristen Simmons Release: February 5

When Brynn Hilder is recruited to Vale Hall, it seems like the elite academy is her chance to start over, away from her mom's loser boyfriend and her rundown neighborhood. But she soon learns that Vale chooses students not so much for their scholastic talent as for their extracurricular activities, such as her time spent conning rich North Shore kids out of their extravagant allowances. At first, Brynn jumps at the chance to help the school in its mission to rid the city of corrupt officials--because what could be better than giving entitled jerks what they deserve? But that's before she meets her mark--a senator's son--and before she discovers the school's headmaster has secrets he'll stop at nothing to protect. As the lines between right and wrong blur, Brynn begins to realize she's in way over head.

Enchantee by Gita Trelease Release: February 5

When smallpox kills her parents, Camille Durbonne must find a way to provide for her frail, naive sister while managing her volatile brother. Relying on petty magic—la magie ordinaire—Camille painstakingly transforms scraps of metal into money to buy the food and medicine they need. But when the coins won’t hold their shape and her brother disappears with the family’s savings, Camille must pursue a richer, more dangerous mark: the glittering court of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. With dark magic forbidden by her mother, Camille transforms herself into the ‘Baroness de la Fontaine’ and is swept up into life at the Palace of Versailles, where aristocrats both fear and hunger for la magie. There, she gambles at cards, desperate to have enough to keep herself and her sister safe. Yet the longer she stays at court, the more difficult it becomes to reconcile her resentment of the nobles with the enchantments of Versailles. And when she returns to Paris, Camille meets a handsome young balloonist—who dares her to hope that love and liberty may both be possible. But when Camille loses control of her secrets, the game she's playing turns deadly. Then revolution erupts, and she must choose—love or loyalty, democracy or aristocracy, freedom or magic—before Paris burns…

Crown of Feathers by Nicki Pau Preto Release: February 12

In a world ruled by fierce warrior queens, a grand empire was built upon the backs of Phoenix Riders—legendary heroes who soared through the sky on wings of fire—until a war between two sisters ripped it all apart. Sixteen years later, Veronyka is a war orphan who dreams of becoming a Phoenix Rider from the stories of old. After a shocking betrayal from her controlling sister, Veronyka strikes out alone to find the Riders—even if that means disguising herself as a boy to join their ranks. Just as Veronyka finally feels like she belongs, her sister turns up and reveals a tangled web of lies between them that will change everything. And meanwhile, the new empire has learned of the Riders’ return and intends to destroy them once and for all.

The Blood Spell by C.J. Redwine Release: February 12

Blue de la Cour has her life planned: hide the magic in her blood and continue trying to turn metal into gold so she can help her city’s homeless. But when her father is murdered and a cruel but powerful woman claims custody of Blue and her property, one wrong move could expose her—and doom her once and for all. The only one who can help? The boy she’s loathed since childhood: Prince Kellan. Kellan Renard, crown prince of Balavata, is walking a thin line between political success and devastating violence. Newly returned from boarding school, he must find a bride among the kingdom’s head families and announce his betrothal—but escalating tension among the families makes the search nearly impossible. He’s surprised to discover that the one person who makes him feel like he can breathe is Blue, the girl who once ruined all his best adventures. When mysterious forces lead to disappearances throughout Balavata, Blue and Kellan must work together to find the truth. What they discover will lead them to the darkest reaches of the kingdom, and to the most painful moments of their pasts. When romance is forbidden and evil is rising, can Blue save those she loves, even if it costs her everything?

Spectacle by Jodie Lynn Zdrok Release: February 12

Sixteen-year-old Nathalie Baudin writes the daily morgue column for Le Petit Journal. Her job is to summarize each day's new arrivals, a task she finds both fascinating and routine. That is, until the day she has a vision of the newest body, a young woman, being murdered--from the perspective of the murderer himself. When the body of another woman is retrieved from the Seine days later, Paris begins to buzz with rumors that this victim may not be the last. Nathalie's search for answers sends her down a long, twisty road involving her mentally ill aunt, a brilliant but deluded scientist, and eventually into the Parisian Catacombs. As the killer continues to haunt the streets of Paris, it becomes clear that Nathalie's strange new ability may make her the only one who can discover the killer's identity--and she'll have to do it before she becomes a target herself.

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark Release: February 19

For Nari, aka Narioka Diane, aka hacker digital alter ego “d0l0s," it’s college and then a career at “one of the big ones," like Google or Apple. Keagan, her sweet, sensitive boyfriend, is happy to follow her wherever she may lead. Reese is an ace/aro visual artist with plans to travel the world. Santiago is off to Stanford on a diving scholarship, with very real Olympic hopes. And Bellamy? Physics genius Bellamy is admitted to MIT—but the student loan she’d been counting on is denied when it turns out her estranged father—one Robert Foster—is loaded. Nari isn’t about to let her friend’s dreams be squashed by a deadbeat billionaire, so she hatches a plan to steal just enough from Foster to allow Bellamy to achieve her goals.

The Art of Losing by Lizzy Mason Release: February 19

On one terrible night, 17-year-old Harley Langston’s life changes forever. At a party she discovers her younger sister, Audrey, hooking up with her boyfriend, Mike—and she abandons them both in a rage. When Mike drunkenly attempts to drive Audrey home, he crashes and Audrey ends up in a coma. Now Harley is left with guilt, grief, pain and the undeniable truth that her ex-boyfriend (who is relatively unscathed) has a drinking problem. So it’s a surprise that she finds herself reconnecting with Raf, a neighbor and childhood friend who’s recently out of rehab and still wrestling with his own demons. At first Harley doesn’t want to get too close to him. But as Audrey awakens and slowly recovers, Raf starts to show Harley a path forward that she never would have believed possible.

The Great Unknowable End by Kathryn Ormsbee Release: February 19

Stella dreams of being a space engineer. After Stella's mom dies by suicide and her brother runs off to Red Sun, the local hippie commune, Stella is forced to bring her dreams down to Earth to care for her sister Jill. Galliard has only ever known life inside Red Sun. There, people accept his tics, his Tourette's. But when he’s denied Red Sun's resident artist role he believed he was destined for, he starts to imagine a life beyond the gates of the compound...The day Stella and Galliard meet, there is something in the air in their small town. Literally. So begins weeks of pink lightning, blood red rain, unexplained storms... And a countdown clock appears mysteriously above the town hall. With time ticking down to some great, unknowable end they’ll each have to make a choice.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia Release: February 26

At the Medio School for Girls, distinguished young women are trained for one of two roles in their polarized society. Depending on her specialization, a graduate will one day run a husband’s household or raise his children, but both are promised a life of comfort and luxury. Daniela Vargas is the school’s top student, but her bright future depends upon no one discovering her darkest secret—that her pedigree is a lie. Her parents sacrificed everything to obtain forged identification papers so Dani could rise above her station. Now that her marriage to an important politico’s son is fast approaching, she must keep the truth hidden or be sent back to the fringes of society, where famine and poverty rule supreme. On her graduation night, Dani seems to be in the clear, despite the surprises that unfold. But nothing prepares her for all the difficult choices she must make, especially when she is asked to spy for a resistance group desperately fighting to bring equality to Medio. Will Dani cling to the privilege her parents fought to win for her, or to give up everything she’s strived for in pursuit of a free Medio—and a chance at a forbidden love?

An Affair of Poisons by Addie Thorley Release: February 26

After unwittingly helping her mother poison King Louis XIV, seventeen-year-old alchemist Mirabelle Monvoisin is forced to see her mother’s Shadow Society in a horrifying new light: they’re not heroes of the people, as they’ve always claimed to be, but murderers. Herself included. Mira tries to ease her guilt by brewing helpful curatives, but her hunger tonics and headache remedies cannot right past wrongs or save the dissenters her mother vows to purge. Royal bastard Josse de Bourbon is more kitchen boy than fils de France. But when the Shadow Society assassinates the Sun King and half of the royal court, he must become the prince he was never meant to be in order to save his injured sisters and the petulant dauphin. Forced to hide in the sewers beneath the city, Josse’s hope of reclaiming Paris seems impossible―until his path collides with Mirabelle’s. She’s a deadly poisoner. He’s a bastard prince. They are sworn enemies, yet they form a tenuous pact to unite the commoners and former nobility against the Shadow Society. But can a rebellion built on mistrust ever hope to succeed?

The Fever King by Victoria Lee Release: March 1

In the former United States, sixteen-year-old Noam Álvaro wakes up in a hospital bed, the sole survivor of the viral magic that killed his family and made him a technopath. His ability to control technology attracts the attention of the minister of defense and thrusts him into the magical elite of the nation of Carolinia. The son of undocumented immigrants, Noam has spent his life fighting for the rights of refugees fleeing magical outbreaks—refugees Carolinia routinely deports with vicious efficiency. Sensing a way to make change, Noam accepts the minister’s offer to teach him the science behind his magic, secretly planning to use it against the government. But then he meets the minister’s son—cruel, dangerous, and achingly beautiful—and the way forward becomes less clear. Caught between his purpose and his heart, Noam must decide who he can trust and how far he’s willing to go in pursuit of the greater good.

The Last 8 by Laura Pohl Release: March 5

Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the only reason she isn't among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it. When Clover hears an inexplicable radio message, she's shocked to learn there are other survivors—and that they're all at the former Area 51. When she arrives, she's greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth. Only they aren't the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The group seems more interested in hiding than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But then she finds a hidden spaceship, and she doesn't know what to believe…or who to trust.

You Asked for Perfect by Laura Silverman Release: March 5

Senior Ariel Stone is the perfect college applicant: first chair violin, dedicated community volunteer, and expected valedictorian. He works hard - really hard - to make his life look effortless. A failed Calculus quiz is not part of that plan. Not when he’s number one. Not when his peers can smell weakness like a freshman’s body spray. Figuring a few all-nighters will preserve his class rank, Ariel throws himself into studying. His friends will understand if he skips a few plans, and he can sleep when he graduates. Except Ariel’s grade continues to slide. Reluctantly, he gets a tutor. Amir and Ariel have never gotten along, but Amir excels in Calculus, and Ariel is out of options. Ariel may not like Calc, but he might like Amir. Except adding a new relationship to his long list of commitments may just push him past his limit.

Beware the Night by Jessica Fleck Release: March 12

On the island of Bellona, life is peaceful--as long as the citizens dutifully worship the Sun, which protects them from all harm. Seventeen-year-old Veda knows that keeping the Sun happy will protect her and her grandfather from the Night, the dangerous people who snatch innocent citizens from their beds under the cover of darkness, never to be seen again. As long as Veda follows the rules, she will be safe. But when Veda's grandfather is offered up as the next sacrificial offering to keep the Sun's favor, she starts to see that the safety she's been promised comes at a dangerous price. Maybe there is more to fear above than there is below. With a mysterious young man, Dorian, at her side, Veda has to figure out if the scary bedtime stories she grew up hearing are real--or dangerous lies.

Bloodleaf by Crystal Smith Release: March 12

Princess Aurelia is a prisoner to her crown and the heir that nobody wants. Surrounded by spirits and banned from using her blood-magic, Aurelia flees her country after a devastating assassination attempt. To escape her fate, Aurelia disguises herself as a commoner in a new land and discovers a happiness her crown has never allowed. As she forges new bonds and perfects her magic, she begins to fall for a man who is forbidden to rule beside her. But the ghosts that haunt Aurelia refuse to abandon her, and she finds herself succumbing to their call as they expose a nefarious plot that only she can defeat. Will she be forced to choose between the weight of the crown and the freedom of her new life?

The Waking Forest by Alyssa Wees Release: March 12

The waking forest has secrets. To Rhea, it appears like a mirage, dark and dense, at the very edge of her backyard. But when she reaches out to touch it, the forest vanishes. She’s desperate to know more—until she finds a peculiar boy who offers to reveal its secrets. If she plays a game. To the Witch, the forest is her home, where she sits on her throne of carved bone, waiting for dreaming children to beg her to grant their wishes. One night, a mysterious visitor arrives and asks her what she wishes for, but the Witch sends him away. And then the uninvited guest returns. The strangers are just the beginning. Something is stirring in the forest, and when Rhea’s and the Witch’s paths collide, a truth more treacherous and deadly than either could ever imagine surfaces. But how much are they willing to risk to survive?

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Release: March 19

Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends.  One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more . . .

Fear of Missing Out by Kate McGovern Release: March 19

When Astrid learns that her cancer has returned, she hears about a radical technology called cryopreservation that may allow her to have her body frozen until a future time when--and if--a cure is available. With her boyfriend, Mohit, and her best friend, Chloe, Astrid goes on a road trip in search of that possibility. To see if it's real. To see if it's worth it. For fear of missing out on everything.

[kendrixtermina]

Disclaimer For Potential Partners (f/m/x)

Writing this down as much to gather my thoughts and go into this with clear priorities as for possible future reference. 

My mother always told me that if you wanted everyone to like you, you’d have to be a 50 dollar bill. I have come to accept that I’m more like licorice. Some people aren’t gonna like me but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who would appreciate me. 

I’d rather you run away screaming NOW than in three years when we’re both invested so Let’s get all this out of the way:

I’m bisexual. Yes, I’ve dated dudes in the past. I’ve had a brief online flirt with an agender person and do think androgynous ppl are hot which I suppose would make me pan in some ppl’s books, at this point the choice in label is purely aesthetic. I’m looking for a female partner right now because I’ve always had a slight preference for girls anyways but a sufficiently compatible non-female would not be refused. 

Because ppl have gotten this wrong in the past: Preference is about how likely you are to notice that someone is hot in the first place like in the early stages. It doesn’t mean my attachment to those dudes was any less “real” (or the other way around!) I just flat out don’t care whats in your pants there are other things to be picky about

From since I was young, the message I got from music, books etc is that it’s pretty bad to say “I love you” unless you truly mean it. So I don’t say “I love you” until I’m 100% sure I can do that it good conscience. It seems that it takes me a bit longer to be sure than most people, but it’s not like I’ve conducted statistics on this

I’m not vegan/vegetarian and I’m never going to be vegan/vegetarian

I’m not a pet person 

I’m not a sporty person and I’m never going to be a sporty person

Go through my stuff, spy on me in any way or ask me to tell you where I am at all times and its over

I’m an antiprohibitionist and don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with taking recreational substances. Conversely, I’m not interested in that sort of thing as a full-on lifestyle either. 

I try to keep an open mind and try everything once but im probably not gonna reorganize my life around new age woo-woo. 

So far my folks have liked most my partners, but if our social circles don’t get along I’m comfortable with leaving them separate. 

I believe in judging people as individuals first. I don’t wanna hear no paranoid shit about “the muslims” or other stereotypical carricatures but if you’re gonna be “europeans that europeans this” as if im not in the room its not gonna work. 

Don’t be fooled by the foreign-sounding surname im a potato through and through. No exotic fanservice to be had here. 

Barring unforseen dictatorships, I don’t want to move out of Europe. I like it here. Its full of frustrating dumbasses but so is the rest of the world.  Yay for cheese and consumer protection laws! I would consider moving closer to the shore though. 

It’s fine if you don’t speak German but you should not hate or dislike it.  English is a plus because me, my friends and my family are into internet culture

I haven’t spoken to my father in five years. No, you’re not going to patch this up. You don’t have to ignore him too if you’re not comfortable but you’ll have to respect my choice instead of playing family therapist or throwing platitudes about forgiveness at me. 

Im not counting and it depends on your definition but Ive fucked at least 15-20 people, which according to statistics is above average? Always used rubber unless it was long-term and exclusive tho. That might bother some ppl. 

That said it has been my conclusion that fucking does nothing that a beer can’t do and that the real quality stuff is what you could already do as a grade schooler when you still thought of all the grownup stuff as mystical. Having ice cream together, exploring new places, having contemplative conversations in the rain, telling each other your fantasies? That’s The Stuff. 

Hence while I wouldn’t turn down some fuckage along the way what im looking for at this point is someone to share life and grow old with, like there doesn’t need to be the expectation of further strings but the end goal RN is to find One That Sparks Joy(TM) that will get precedence

I’m not big on material gifts or the ritual part of dating if thats important to you I might not be the ideal candidate, but if its not thats probably good for your wallet

I’m a strong introvert. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to anyone other than my boss or maybe texting my relatives. If you’re very introverted or work alot this might be an advantage. Of course if I love you I will try my best to match up to your attention needs but if you need your partner to text you 15 times every day to feel good I might just not be your cup of tea

That doesn’t mean im not interested in going on or doing new experiences. I very much hope to do that together with you just not 5 days a week - if you can’t give new things wholehearted tries things might get uncomfortable

I like spicy food and all sort of asian cousine, but if you can’t stand the sight of cheese, asparagus and sausage it’s not gonna work either. I can obviously put less chili in your portion. 

I tend to talk fast and I find it hard to stop it even if I try, if that bothers you look elsewhere

I cannot stand forced optimism OR over-the top misanthropy or snobbishness. I will gush about things, but I like my dark edgy content and I stand by it. It is an advantage if you like talking about art. If you don’t like morbid humor that might be a problem

No diet talk

No perfectionism

No passive aggressive ppl or ppl that are uncomfortable with direct confrontation. That won’t work, we’d just set each other off even without meaning to and it would just be sad. If Im doing something wrong don’t expect me to notice by magic, tell me to my face so I can fix it. Don’t be hostile out of nowhere and don’t beat around the bush. 

im not religious or spiritual. I don’t mind if you are but if you want to have kids and bring them up strongly-immersed in some Abrahamic faith im not sure if this is the right adress

No anti-intellectualism (no snobbery, elitism or smartassery either - as a wise pig once said, “Knowledge is a horizon to strive for, not a prize to hold in your hand” It begins with realizing what you don’t know)

Indifferent about monogamy, but I wouldn’t say that I’m the sort of person who needs non-monogamy either.  If you want to we can do it (write me out some list of where you draw the lines so there’s no misunderstandings) but if you don’t it’s no biggie. I don’t care if you fuck 10 other people - for me, respect, honor and loyalty are to do with other things, like, don’t make fun of me and don’t expect me to change because one (1) person said I’m weird or whatever.

Don’t give me diseases tho. I’ll take precautions to extend the same courtesy to you.  

Potential character flaws: I can be a tad sensitive, disorganized and defensive sometimes, not gonna sugarcoat it. I have no filter and curse like a sailor. Also I have zero social skills and sometimes I come across as either angry or unemotional when its really the opposite. I find that just as confusing and contradictory as that sounds, I have like zero sense of how I come off. I try to be aware of all of these and do right to everyone to the best of my ability but if you’re sensitive about any of these point someone else might be a better fit 

2 kids max. I’m not sure I’ll have ANY at this point, and most certainly not in the next 5 years. IF we decide to have some later I volunteer to carry them though, I probably have good genes, my mom popped out 4 babies in 6 years with nary a complication. Besides I’d rather it was me dealing with the gross pregnancy stuff than someone I love

My favorite bedroom stuff is fingers-in-front-cavity and butt stuff. Mild sleepsex fetish but nothing super pronounced. What I don’t like or just am not very good at is top/bottom play. 

So far most my partners have had somewhat stronger sex drive than me but Id argue that I very much have one and ive never refused unless I was in physical pain, severely sleep-deprived or working on some important work-related thing that was due the next day. 

It’s important - and science backs me up on this - that you can freely talk to each other in n open, natural and relaxed manner

If you think im weird just do us both the favor and stay away don’t come at me with the attitude that you’re gonna mold me to your desires - even just writing this comes off kinda touchy but im saying this because some people out there really don’t get it. Like my natural tendency is to be open, courious and realistic,  but some people see that as free real estate and then it falls to me to be the reasonable one and End The Madness and im tired of that.

Like I want to be able to give love and pour out all my inner romantic shit without having to be afraid of being fucked over I want to be able to trust you with my inner harley quinn as well as my inner phantom of the opera 

UGH that sounded a bit tryhard didn’t it? But its the best description i could come up with

Must remember to translate this into mordor speak later

[foodieworldmelbourne]

Minority in a minority: Life as a bisexual Sufi, fighting prejudice from all sides

Updated October 24, 2018 07:21:02

Photo: Melbourne-based Sufi Rida Khan came out as bisexual as a 20-year-old. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) Map: Melbourne 3000 Rida Khan is a Sufi Muslim and a bisexual and she wants to shatter some misconceptions. "It's assumed that a lot of same-sex, bisexual or other gender diverse Muslims are having sex and that's actually a myth," says the 24-year-old aged-care nurse. "It's like saying that all Muslim youth that are straight are engaging in heterosexual sex and that's just far out, like, come on. What is Sufism?Sufism, or Tasawwuf as it is known in Arabic, is Islamic mysticism Sufi orders can be found in Sunni, Shia and other Islamic sectsSufi rituals, such as dhikr (devotional chanting), encourage introspection and spiritual closeness with God "Most of us are scared of having an aunty identify us with a guy or a girl." Rida realised she was bisexual as a 17-year-old, but she waited a few years before announcing this to her Pakistani friends and family. She and her family are Sufis followers of the mystical branch of Islam. "My experience of coming out was in fact quite positive, quite different from the stories we hear in other gender-diverse communities," she says. "But I think it does have a lot to do with the fact that my parents have lived in Turkey, we have lived in Japan, we've lived in Australia. "When I came out it was like, 'meh, okay, you're still the same to me'." 'Not right' for the community Not everyone supports Rida's openness about her sexual orientation. While some progressive Muslim leaders support same-sex marriage, it is widely interpreted by Islamic schools of thought that same-sex intimacy is 'haram' or 'forbidden'. "People think if you're bisexual, if you're homosexual that's God testing you to prove that you can be a better person, that you can be a better Muslim and that you can rise above your so-called lust," Rida says. "It's the women who are bullying me, the aunties who are really horrible [saying] 'Stay away from her, she's not a good person'. "I don't know if it's jealousy or what it is, but they need to be kinder to gender-diverse women, they need to be kinder to women from Muslim minorities in this country."

Photo: Rida's family are 'Baloch', members of a traditionally nomadic Pakistani tribe. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) 'If you're bisexual, prove yourself' But the pendulum swings both ways. Rida says she's received just as much discrimination from Australia's LGBTQI community because of her faith. "It's like they constantly ridicule your religion," she says. "They don't understand that religion can actually act as a tool for empowering you." Faith isn't the only friction point. Rida says she's felt an expectation to fit in with Western expressions of queer sexuality. "Not all people of colour from gender-diverse backgrounds actually relate to the mainstream sexuality, particularly along the lines of hypersexuality and self-objectification," she says. "And we do get put down for it, like, 'if you're bisexual then prove yourself'." Sometimes, prejudice can feel like it's coming from all sides. "First, you're not accepted by the Muslim community because you're bisexual, then you're not accepted by the gender-diverse community in Australia for being Muslim," Rida says. "Then you also identify as a woman of colour so when discrimination and bullying happens, you don't know which of the three they are discriminating against you [for]."

Photo: Rida says she's a "practitioner of Islam" more than a practitioner of her bisexuality. (ABC Arts: Teresa Tan) Sexuality or faith: Being forced to choose Siobhan Irving is an anthropologist, PhD candidate and a board member for Sydney Queer Muslims. She converted to Islam as a 19-year-old and has spent the past five years collecting stories from gay and lesbian Muslims in Sydney and Singapore. Ms Irving says Rida's story isn't unique. "In the queer community and just in general, really many people do not understand why a same-sex attracted Muslim would still embrace their faith ... would still be proud of their religious community," she says.

Photo: Western Sydney electorates overwhelming voted 'No' for same-sex marriage. (Supplied: Australia Bureau of Statistics) "It's difficult for them to express both their identities as Muslims and as same-sex attracted people they often feel that they must choose." Ms Irving says last year's national plebiscite on same-sex marriage brought Islamophobic attitudes to the fore. "People in the queer community and elsewhere presumed that this just meant Muslims voted against it, because the Western suburbs are known as being very much populated by Muslim communities," she points out. In the aftermath, Ms Irving spoke to many LGBTQI Muslims who felt pressured to defend their faith in queer circles and spaces, if they disclosed it at all. Solace through spirituality Sufism or Tasawwuf, as it is known in Arabic, is not a sect of Islam, like Sunni or Shia, but rather a spiritual practice, and theory, that can be found in all branches of the faith. Rida's parents, for instance, practise Sufism within the Sunni Hanafi tradition. Meanwhile, Rida describes her faith as "Aboriginal-Sufi-centric Islam"; a practice influenced by Indigenous Dreamtime stories and her 'Baloch' bedouin ancestry. Introspection, meditation and dhikr (devotional chanting) are core elements of Sufism. Rida says these practises give her an inner strength to combat the external conflicts that come from being a bisexual Muslim. "The modern Sufi community here in Melbourne looks something like a mix of hipsters [who] have a very deep intimate relationship with God," she says. "[It's about] sitting together, discussing life issues, reading Rumi's poetry, and overall just really trying to do the best we can in a world which is largely right-wing or left-wing we really fall somewhere in the middle."

Photo: The Mevlevi, also known as the Whirling Dervishes, are followers of Sufi mystic Rumi. According to Ed Husain, author of The House of Islam: A Global History, Sufi poets like Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi and Omar Khayyam celebrate an inner spirituality that can be overlooked in more hard-lined expressions of Islam. "Their poetry ... is much more focused towards drawing to God and the divine through love, attraction, passion, hope and optimism, rather than [being] fearful of God and fussing over sins and hellfire and worrying about the consequences of whether, you know, your hair shows," he told Rachael Kohn on a recent episode of RN's The Spirit of Things. "The fact that the Prophet Muhammad was reciting beautiful poetry was because he was internally in communication with the divine. "And if you lose that internal communication, externality becomes ugly and rigid." For Rida, Muslims and non-Muslims alike can gain joy from introspection. "Sufism itself is just a practice to help you become closer to your divine," she says. "[It tries] to get you to understand that the universe is a much bigger picture than what institutionalised religion has made it out to be." Topics:religion-and-beliefs,women-religious,islam,gays-and-lesbians,race-relations,discrimination,melbourne-3000 First posted October 23, 2018 06:00:00 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-23/life-as-a-bisexual-sufi-fighting-prejudice-from-all-sides/10391704

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France 2.5 reaction

I got really heated about that auction, apologies

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Giving away Manon’s clothes

Ohhh my God. Even though this is one of the crappier things Eskild/Mickael does in the series, he is hilarious here. This actor is killing it. 

“What did you say?” “That you look great sweetie.” A+ timing and delivery.

He’s even more dickish and terrible than Eskild was in this situation, but not gonna lie, I’m enjoying every second of his screen time

So Manon is organizing the collection herself? I feel like that provides a somewhat different context. Noora was very much motivated by Eskild’s words to her to start caring about refugees, not that she didn’t care about them at all but she felt guilty about not doing enough. Noora also had some ignorant spots, she thought Lito must be a Syrian refugee when he’s the son of a Turkish ambassador. Of course Eskild was in the wrong in the way he went about taking her clothes, especially since it was motivated by getting laid, but Noora had her own hypocrisy. Manon seems quite genuine about helping the migrants.

Clip 2 - Fuckweasel auction imminent

 It would be nice if we had heard about Manon’s involvement with the clothes drive earlier, but that’s good of her and that’s a very different take because I think Noora wasn’t as proactive.

The amount of sympathy I have for a bunch of spoiled dudes trashing a hotel room and having to pay for it … zero.

Wait, so not only are they having a fundraiser to cover for their destruction, they’ve put it on the same night as an already scheduled event for migrants? Man, fuck them. How did they manage to be worse than the original?

I mean depending on the school, it’s common for multiple events to happen at that same time, that’s not unusual. But lol, some dudes holding a fundraiser to cover for their terrible behavior at the same time other people have arranged a fundraiser for people in genuine need … not a good look.

The Norwegian version of this scene was way more personal, which makes sense since it was a bedroom scene and it was less hurried.

Clip 3 - Manon is mad

I don’t have much to say about this scene except Manon is completely justified in being pissed. The guy who professes to have feelings for her and wants a relationship with her scheduled a fundraiser to cover his and his friends’ property damage on the same night she is working an event for people in need. Like I guess he could just not know about the other fundraiser, but he’s doing something that’s going to actively take away from her charity event. 

The saving grace is that Charles doesn’t try to justify this and he looks somewhat humbled/upset by her telling him off.

Clip 4 - Daphne please get a grip

“We were talking about what happened with Charles and his crew and it’s really horrible what happened” yeah it’s really horrible that some teenage assholes destroyed a hotel room. Daphne is talking about it like a rival team paid to have their kneecaps broken and now they can’t play basketball anymore.

Call me humorless but Manon is completely right and even more justified in being angry than Noora was, like Vilde was suggesting they give up some of their bus money - unfair and it was their own earned funds, but at least it was going to something that’s fun/frivolous, not a necessity. Why the fuck would you give time you meant for a charity event to some shitheads who wrecked property?!?!?!

I mean it’s not even like “their bus broke down and they can’t get to games and they’re having a fundraiser to buy a new one” or “there was a fire in the gym and now they can’t practice so they’re raising money to rent a new space.” Buying new uniforms or equipment for their team or something. They CAUSED their own problem.

“Since it’s so important to you I’ll give 10% of the night’s benefits to migrants.”

Hey, you know what would be a really impressive thing for Charles to do? Call off the fundraiser to cover the asses of his crew and direct everyone’s attention to the clothing distribution event for migrants. That would be a humble, selfless action where he actually makes a sacrifice.

Does that sound too extreme? Am I being too hard on him? Maybe, but why is Charles/William consistently doing the minimum decent thing, often for self-serving reasons, and yet we’re supposed to buy into his character development and think he’s a great guy?  

What if Charles got his guys to give everything to the migrants regardless of whether Manon attended? What if Charles went to help Manon out instead of going to his own fundraiser? Doesn’t that seem like an obvious storytelling decision in terms of showing us he’s a good guy? Wouldn’t that be something Manon could respect and we could see why she starts to like him as a person and had to reconsider her opinion of him?

This is just such a deeply strange storyline to me! Charles and his friends act like assholes. They try to raise money to recoup the losses from when they were assholes inconveniencing other people. There is another event for a much better cause, for people genuinely in need. Charles offers a smallish percentage of the profits from his fundraiser to the people in need, but only if the girl he likes comes to the event. How … in the world … why am I supposed to like this character?

This is annoying me even more than the original, maybe because the Penetrators were not directly competing against a charity event. 

Imane has a nice line about showing solidarity to human beings, not a religion (because not all the migrants are Muslim).

Clip 5 - Help the spoiled brats and some other people, IDK

Wow they really underplayed this Emma/Yann storyline. I’m not sure they built up to Emma’s drunken meltdown enough.

Daphne is so embarrassing about Charles, please put this one-sided relationship out of its misery.

Soooo is Lucas already flirting with guys, kind of?  At least they got in a nice shocked moment for Lucas when Emma says he likes boys.

Drunk Emma interrupts Alex talking to a guy … poor form, Emma, poor form.

I did laugh at how Daphne being like “I’ve known you for a while and we have this special relationship” meant boy Alex started to close in. Yeah, that’s more or less what I expect of him.

Emma telling boy Alex “I like you, you’re my friend, but Daphne, I love you so much” - when will one of these goddamn adaptations take this further than some drunken makeouts?? When?? I don’t even ship them as much as the Noora/Eva combination but this is ridiculous.

This is a not as bad as a situation than the date, because she had less pressure to come to this party than to go on the date for Daphne’s sake, but like … he did tell her he’d only donate the money if she came. Why does he act like it was a given that he would donate the money.

Daphne looks less into kissing Emma than Vilde did kissing Eva. Vilde was having the time of her life, Daphne’s like ... tolerating it. Or maybe I can’t tell because the lighting isn’t as bright.

They did the same tune-out music effect when Manon tells Charles she doesn’t like him as in the original.

Kinda think we should have seen Manon reconsider more before running after him since it’s a big turning point for her character.

I wasn’t totally impressed with her last season, but Manon’s actress has been doing much better. She did a good job in the last scene.

“The only thing that interests you is getting what you want.” I mean, yeah, that’s true.

I saw some people didn’t like this scene compared to the original, but I think their first kiss was pretty good, I liked it just as much. Lots of passion, very cinematic. Since I’m not a big Noorhelm fan their first kiss isn’t sacred to me or anything, but I also think it’s because of Coldplay being the song selection. (I don’t hate Coldplay, tbh, but my dad has very very limited taste in music and for a long time literally the only thing he would listen to was Coldplay. For months, he would listen to Viva la Vida in the car. Just that song. On repeat. Like the middle-aged man version of John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner bit. So I have, ehhh, complicated feelings about Coldplay, and “Paradise” is one of my least favorite songs from them.)

I was super afraid Emma would fall in the water as she puked but at least Daphne kept a hand on her even after she saw Manon and Charles kissing.

General Comments:

Sorry that 90% of this reaction was me being grumpy about the Raptors’ auction. That was the main focus of this episode, not a lot else to talk about. The next few episodes have more subplots and varied scenes to discuss.

I’m a Daphne fan but damn did I hit my limit with her Charles obsession in this episode, even more than with Vilde. 

I don’t speak French so if I misunderstood something or missed context, feel free to correct me.

If you got through all this cranky ranting, thank you for reading! ❤️ Here’s a video of a golden conure dancing to the Beach Boys.