#razzywrites: short stories

[lordoftherazzles]

Mudùmel

Special thanks to @verk0my, who did a wonderful art piece inspired by this fic, back when it was just a little drabble for my former Acorntober series. It's since been polished and given some more substance - after seeing the art, how could I not make it bigger and better?

bagginshield | reshirement au | 3k

After leaving Erebor behind, Thorin is struggling to find his sense of comfort in the Shire. All it takes is an encounter with one of his new hobbit neighbors, and he realizes that the comfort he seeks has been at his side all along.

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

Blinded by the Scars [E]

My first real contribution to "Year of Bagginshield" by @acorns-and-oakleaves! I chose the prompt of "Body Worship" from January's various options, and hope you guys enjoy the little bit of spice I'm kicking off YOB with!

bagginshield | reshirement/pwp | 2.9k

Bilbo had never known scars could be so sensitive, even after years of healing and time to adjust. With that knowledge, and the idea of something a little different in bed, Bilbo is determined to help his dwarven husband relax.

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

Below the Belt [E]

I always love getting to work with @consultingpacha for anything and everything! This year, we teamed up for @tolkienpinupcalendar's event for the 2024 calendar (though ours is a part of the spicy edition). Thanks Pacha for being a great partner and letting me yell about fic ideas, and for giving it some super spicy artwork!!

bagginshield | during the quest / pwp | 6k

Thorin, tired of being poked and prodded after his scuffle with Azog's warg atop the Burning Pines, refuses to care for his injuries and takes off, so what does the company do? Send Bilbo to take care of Thorin, naturally. And boy, does Bilbo go above and beyond.

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

A (Green)House Built for Two

bagginshield | bilbo stays in erebor | 5.7k

I had the absolute honor of getting to write a fic for one of @mulasawala's wonderful Bagginshield pieces for Scribbles & Drabbles this year! I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did, and thank you to @fall-for-tolkien for organizing this amazing event!

Two years after the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo begins to show signs of being homesick. Unable to fathom the idea that Bilbo may want to leave the mountain for his Shire home, Thorin takes on a project to bring a little bit of the Shire's greenery to Erebor.

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

🍃 A Lesson in Morels ‣ Mushrooms are more than just edible to hobbits. They can symbolize a variety of things - protection, good fortune, but they can also symbolize that you're about to embark on a quest of intimacy with your significant other. (reshirement, explicit, 7.9k)

🍃 An Ink-Stained Vow ‣ After the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo feels that he's lost more than just something precious in his pocket. To fill that void, Bilbo seeks something more permanent he can carry before it's time to head back to Bag End. (post botfa/everyone lives, gen, 4.4k)

🍃 Below the Belt ‣ Thorin, tired of being poked and prodded after his scuffle with Azog's warg atop the Burning Pines, refuses to care for his injuries and takes off, so what does the company do? Send Bilbo to take care of Thorin, naturally. And boy, does Bilbo go above and beyond. (during the quest, explicit, 6k)

🍃 Blinded by the Scars ‣ Bilbo had never known scars could be so sensitive, even after years of healing and time to adjust. With that knowledge, and the idea of something a little different in bed, Bilbo is determined to help his dwarven husband relax. (reshirement, explicit, 2.9k)

🍃 Can't "Rise" to the Occasion ‣ Every evening the Company of Thorin Oakenshield gathers for food, stories, and rest around the campfire on their way to Erebor. Some stories are fun, others are adventurous, but tonight’s theme is scary. Bilbo’s idea of scary and the dwarves’ understanding of hobbit customs throws Thorin’s mind for a loop. (during the quest, gen, 2.3k)

🍃 Cold Is The Night ‣ After securing a place to stay within Beorn's lodgings, Thorin and Bilbo find themselves sharing a coat, newfound emotions, and then some. (during the quest, explicit, 5.5k)

🍃 Concerning Dwobbits ‣ September 22 is a day of celebration in Erebor, not only for Bilbo Baggins but for his and Thorin's dwobbit son who sprouted from an all too familiar acorn. (parentshield, gen, 2.6k)

🍃 A (Green)House Built for Two ‣ Two years after the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo begins to show signs of being homesick. Unable to fathom the idea that Bilbo may want to leave the mountain for his Shire home, Thorin takes on a project to bring a little bit of the Shire's greenery to Erebor. (consort bilbo, gen, 5.7k)

🍃 The Icing on the Cupcake ‣ Bilbo Baggins has two great loves: molding young minds and baking. So it comes as a bit of a shock to him when at his nephew's 7th birthday party a third love is added to the list. (modern meet-cute, gen, 6k)

🍃 Mudùmel ‣ After leaving Erebor behind, Thorin is struggling to find his sense of comfort in the Shire. All it takes is an encounter with one of his new hobbit neighbors, and he realizes that the comfort he seeks has been at his side all along. (reshirement, gen, 3k)

🍃 Right As Snow ‣ Yuletide at Bag End is different this year with Frodo as the newest addition to the smial. With a misunderstanding about how well one likes the other, Thorin and Frodo both struggle through their holiday. (parentshield, gen, 10.3k)

🍃 Sweet, Literal Nothings ‣ Ever since that hug upon the Carrock, Fili, Kili, and the rest of the company are always asking themselves: what is going on with Thorin and Bilbo? Across the campsite, sitting nice and cozy next to one another, the two individuals in question have another way of looking at it: how can we mess with the Company? (during the quest, gen, 2.1k)

🍃 Wish Upon a Firefly's Light ‣ A brief respite allows Thorin the time he needs to reflect, gazing upon Rivendell's fireflies. (during the quest, gen, 2.3k)

[lordoftherazzles]

Can't "Rise" to the Occasion by LordOfTheRazzles

bagginshield | during the quest | 2.3k

Every evening the Company of Thorin Oakenshield gathers for food, stories, and rest around the campfire on their way to Erebor. Some stories are fun, others are adventurous, but tonight’s theme is scary. Bilbo’s idea of scary and the dwarves’ understanding of hobbit customs throws Thorin’s mind for a loop.

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

Wish Upon a Firefly’s Light by LordOfTheRazzles

bagginshield | the missing firefly scene | 2.3k

A brief respite allows Thorin the time he needs to reflect, gazing upon Rivendell's fireflies in hopes of clearing his head, which leads to ultimately expressing his childhood naivety and his woes of living as royalty to the most unlikely member of his company. The missing firefly scene from An Unexpected Journey.

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

Sweet, Literal Nothings

bagginshield | during the quest | 2.1k

I was so inspired by yet another piece for Scribbles & Drabbles this year, by @mulasawala!! There is nothing I love more than some soft and cozy Bagginshield, with a silly company! Thank you to the mods of @fall-for-tolkien for organizing this event, I hope you enjoy!

Ever since that hug upon the Carrock, Fili, Kili, and the rest of the company are always asking themselves: what is going on with Thorin and Bilbo? Across the campsite, sitting nice and cozy next to one another, the two individuals in question have another way of looking at it: how can we mess with the Company?

↳ NOW ON AO3

[lordoftherazzles]

HAPPY HOBBIT DAY 2022 ↳ NOW ON AO3!

I wasn’t planning on doing anything for Hobbit Day (Happy Birthday Bilbo & Frodo!) but here we are!! I hope you enjoy this little thing I put together in celebration of some very beloved characters, centered around Bagginshield (or rather, Parentshield!)

I want to gift this piece to @mathelaw​​ and @dimdiamond​​! Thank you both for all of your dwobbit!frodo enthusiasm (as well as dealing with my blabbering nonsense on most days!) 🌰🍃

Concerning Dwobbits by LordOfTheRazzles

“Sorry to keep you all waiting. Working so closely with the Greenskeepers Guild has been…tough.” Exhausting was more like it, but Bilbo wasn’t going to complain too much. At least not until later when he was in the safety of his husband’s arms. “You needn’t apologize, Kurdûn,” Thorin cooed, not moving his head any as he felt the circles of comfort being rubbed into his back. Nothing was greater than Bilbo’s touch, it always brought a wave of serenity into any situation. “We have been waiting patiently…sort of. Frodo has been very fussy up until a few moments ago. I’d say you missed the worst of it.” Peering around Thorin’s shoulder and seeing why the dwarf was so stationary, Bilbo could feel a heartwarming blush bloom across his cheeks and nose. The small source of that fussiness that Thorin had been speaking of was laying across the table in a little basket with one hand firmly gripped onto one of Thorin’s hair braids with the bead wedged into his mouth. “He looks quite happy to me.” “Because you’re here,” Thorin chuckled low, waggling a finger towards the small pebble’s chin and cheek to not only get his hair released but to try and spur a small giggle from the blue-eyed menace.

[lordoftherazzles]

↳ NOW ON AO3!

This is coming in so late but!! I didn’t want to abandon this request whatsoever, the creative brain just needed some time to sit and simmer. Anyway, @wanderingjedihistorian​ gave me the prompt of some Durin Family Feelios with Kili wanting to prove himself, and I hope this hits the mark!! It was fun to step outside of the “shippy” box and do something for my favorite dwarves. I hope you enjoy, and thank you SO much for your support!

“Ah, here they come now.”

Following Dis’ gaze to land on an energetic pair of young dwarves, Thorin couldn’t help the proud little huff that escaped his lips. Kili sported a bow and quiver on his back while Fili looked armed to the teeth with knives and blades of every type across his body. He had told them to come prepared, and this was about as prepared as anyone could be.

“There is no guarantee we will find much within the mountains at this time of year.” Thorin’s arms were folded across his chest, the weight of his own gear not bothering him in the slightest as he eyed the two young ones as they came to a halt, not bothered by the line of questioning that was coming their way. “We stick together, do you understand? Straying away from the path will cause more headaches than victories, and I know you want to return with some proof of a weekend well spent.”

Whether it was a rabbit or a pair of ram horns to fashion into a weapon or decor, Thorin wanted them to come back with something. Anything! But most importantly, he wanted them to come back in one piece.

“Did you remember your food pack and waterskins?”

“We’re ready, Uncle, I promise,” Fili encouraged, his dimples prominent on his face as the grin couldn’t be wiped away. “I have every blade you’ve ever forged for me. I would say that’s prepared.”

“Yeah! Should anything spook us, we’ll just throw Fili at it. A dwarf-sized porcupine is quite the weapon–” Kili’s words were cut off by his own wheeze as an elbow jammed into his ribs. 

“You boys be careful, and most importantly, I want you to have fun. Don’t give your uncle too hard of a time, alright? He’s got a few grey hairs already, and I know those came from you. Don’t give him more.”

[lordoftherazzles]

🍃 Seasalt and Silk ‣ Blackbeard overhears about Stede Bonnet's demise in a variety of forms and must learn to cope with the fact that his lighthouse is not only out of his reach, but destroyed entirely. (blackbonnet, gen, 6.5k)

[lordoftherazzles]

🍃 I'll Keep You Safe ‣ Fili and Kili are at the age where they are ready to brave the wilderness outside of Ered Luin's walls. Much to Thorin's uncertainty, he takes the boys into the mountains for a hunting trip in order to show them a slice of the big wide world. Naturally, it doesn't go as planned. (durin family, gen, 5.5k)

🍃 Meet Me Beneath The Mistletoe ‣ A year after the Battle of the Five Armies, Thranduil and a few of his guards travel to Dale to see how the reconstruction is coming along. They arrive during Yuletide and Thranduil becomes more involved in the holiday than anticipated. (barduil, gen, 7.5k)

[lordoftherazzles]

↳ NOW ON AO3!

Thank you so much for sending me this beautiful prompt, @dinchenrockt​, I had such a fun time with it!! Also, thank you so much for your continued support, it is very much appreciated!!

So he went to Dwalin–a dwarf whose craft was bloodier than most, but Bilbo wasn’t sure who he could go to with such a request on his hands, and even if those hands of his shook something fierce, he would not be deterred from his course of action. Not this time. Items were fine and dandy, like stitched handkerchiefs and engraved wooden trinkets, but what he was asking for was something he would never lose.

“Dwalin?” Bilbo poked his head into the training arena, watching the burly dwarf smack at a dummy with one of his fists, a new (and better) set of knuckle-dusters coating his hands that were far more intimidating than the last. Bilbo didn’t squirm, even as Dwalin’s gaze settled on him. This was a friend and one that Bilbo felt comfortable with–much like family. “Might I trouble you in…helping me with something?”

“Aye.”

It was a simple and straightforward response, and for a moment Bilbo wished Dwalin had been wordier. “Yes, um, well…I was wondering if you might be able to help me secure…one of those…” Bilbo pointed a jittery hand towards Dwalin’s hands, not thinking to be a bit more specific.

The laugh that escaped Dwalin though was one of those sounds that Bilbo should have been delighted to hear. A belly laugh straight from the gut and echoing within the stone room they were currently conversing in. “A pair of these?” Dwalin held up his fists, clenching them tightly as if he were about to throw out a few jabs.

“What–no! Not those! Goodness knows I don’t plan on throwing hands anytime soon!” Bilbo fussed rather quickly, not even wanting to imagine him attacking anything with his bare hands as the burly dwarf might do.

[lordoftherazzles]

↳ NOW ON AO3!

I wanted to try my hand at a new fandom, and since these lovely characters have been living in my head non-stop, I had to get SOMETHING down for them. A quick little one shot that makes me feel better...at the end anyway. I hope you all enjoy, and please be gentle, new characters/fandoms are hella hard on me, but here we go!

It hurts.

It hurts.

It HURTS.

Why did it hurt so fucking much?

Hearing the loud and rowdy hollers of pirate and scoundrel alike chattering about the former ‘Gentleman Pirate’ that graced this shithole of a hub, Blackbeard couldn’t help but freeze in his every move. A stein close to his lips and his eyes burning into the wood of the table he was seated at.

The last thing Blackbeard had wanted was to set foot ashore, but even the most fearsome of crews needed supplies, scurvy didn’t discriminate on who it would impact. Wrangling up other cutthroats to sail the seas was also necessary, after all, the ragtag group of soft-bellied misfits that had been left aboard the Revenge before their marooning were hardly suitable to live up to the reputation of Blackbeard. And now the pirate captain wished he had stayed aboard the vessel currently anchored just off the shore. How he wished the words floating about Jackie’s hub were not registering with him.

The sad truth of it was that they were the only things he was hearing, even with Israel Hands sitting next to him questioning a fellow fiercely over why he should be let aboard Blackbeard’s ‘new’ ship.

That wasn’t Blackbeard’s, it was Stede’s. Stede Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate and Captain of the Revenge. What with his soft silks and fancy marmalades, he had been something original to drift along the water and now he–

“Captain?”

The hoarse voice of Izzy didn’t seem to jostle Blackbeard from his staring, all that rang in his head were the sounds of idle whispers from across the room that somehow felt like screams right into his ears.

“I heard his wife arranged for him to be killed.”

“I was certain it was Badminton that did the deed, he was the one who escorted him away from his cot.”

“You’re both wrong. He was horribly maimed by a feral jungle cat, right on the road!”

“Always knew that Bonnet wouldn’t last, he was pathetic.”

Stede Bonnet was not pathetic.