#reading a world set w/o it feels like i'm having one foot out the door & another bolted to the floor behind me

[alteredphoenix]

‘Kay, well I picked The Ruin of Kings by Jenn Lyons as my next read because I have had dragons on the melonas mind for the past week and a half (been trying to draw one with little success), let’s see what the dragons are like in this book.

[blueberryrock]

Hey here is chapter five. Enjoy!

(Blue's pov)

It has been one month after me and Yellow have got the news, the first week has been nothing but gems congratulating and telling me how "lucky" I am.

I don't feel very lucky.

"Hey blue" I jolt awake from the sound of some gem saying my name. I lift my head a little to look to my left. All I see tons of books, huh I fell asleep in the library.

The grogginess starts to wear off, I look down to a blue screen at I was working on.

I turn the screen on, the time read a quarter cycle till twenty-seven. I let out a groan.

The gem put their hand on my back, I jolt again. "Blue?" They ask.

"Oh, White, I'm going to be honest, I didn't notice you were here" I yawn.

"Ok let's get you to bed" White says. Before I can comprehend what happened, White pulls my chair out from the desk, I quickly stand up which was a bad idea, almost instantly a wave of exhaustion rolls over me.

"I still have to-" I cut myself off with a yawn "mmmm reports" I finish sleepily.

White only chuckles "no, you are pregnant and I am watching over you, Yellow would be mad if you stay up any later. Although all you were doing was sleeping.." White gently pushes me to the side and scoots in my chair.

I grab the screen that I was working on and I put it in a secret pocket in my dress. "I'm ready to go" I say in defeat "I hate how I have to sleep all the time"

"Sleeping is the best thing you have to do, I've seen what happens with food" she says with a hint of disgust.

"Yeah, it's even worse when it comes up" I sigh as we make our way out of the record vault.

White turns to look at me "It can come up" she says, her stone gray eyes go wide.

"Unfortunately yes" I sigh.

We continue down the hall, past the records vault and the medical wing. Out the big blue doors to another set of big blue doors.

"You know you should really have that panel moved" White grumbles as she gets back up from her knees.

I give her a small smile as the doors that lead into my sleeping chambers open, the warm, familiar, and a hint of lavender-scented air hits us.

I quickly walk to my vanity and I grab one of my hairbrushes. I sit down and I start brushing my hair, I look in the blue teardrop mirror. The doors close as white turns on the light to my room.

I can fully see my face, my skin color has turned back to its normal color so I did my hair, but my bags under my eyes are still dark.

I let out a big yawn and my eyes water, I wipe my eyes and I set my blue hairbrush on the vanity, I push my chair out and stand up. I don't even bother pushing it back in, I slowly walk to my dresser and I pull out a nightgown.

The nightgown isn't very long, it only stops just above my knees. I phase away my dress and bra, not caring that White Diamond is still in the room with me. I put the silky light blue gown on and I head to my bed.

I just flop onto the bed face first, I slowly sink down, White is on the bed and on her side just watching me.

"You ready for bed" she says.

I let out a muffled response.

"Blue, sit up" White orders.

I do as she says "I said yes, after years of pink's tantrums I thought you could understand someone talking into a pillow".

I pull the blankets out from underneath her. "And I don't need you babysitting me" I say as I lay down, I pull the blankets on top of me.

"Babysitting" White mutters under her breath, she shakes her head a little "Yellow told me to watch over you, and so I am, I know how protective she can be over you and in this state I can't blame her".

"Yeah but i-" I get cut off.

"In watching over you, and there is nothing you can do about it" White raises her voice.

"I'm not some little weak organic that needs to be constantly watched." I snap at her.

White shoots me an angry look "I-i'm sorry" I lower my head and quickly apologize.

White gets off the bed, she lets out a sigh "I'll send some topazes to guard your chambers, you should get some rest" White walks to the door and turns off the light, she opens the door and then leaves.

I pull the pillow she was leaning on and I shove it into my face, after a few seconds I sit up and hit myself with it.

I shouldn't have said that but just because I'm...pregnant...I shouldn't have to be watched over. I fling my pillow like a disk, it lands on the carpet.

I fall back onto my pillow, I maneuver on my side to face where Yellow would be. I wish Yellow was, unfortunately, a small rebellion has broken out on one of her old colonies so she is gone for a few rotations.

Yellow was never good at diplomacy, well nether was I, when you're a powerful race that conquers planets, there isn't really a need for it. But I happen to be the best out of the three of us.

Which is why I stayed up so late today, I was sorting through the mess Yellow had made. I let out another big yawn,  I turn onto my back then to my other side so I can face the wall and I pass out.

Dream World

"Blue" someone familiar yells

I quickly snap up from my position, the back of my head hits something hard.

"Ouch" I wince as I rub the spot with my hand, I look at what I hit my head on, it's my throne, I'm sitting in one of my old thrones.

I then look at my dress, it's my old dark blue one strap dress. I take a strand of my hair, it's as dark as the night sky.

The person that yelled my name smacks my hand with their own tiny hands, I turn to look at them.

"Pink!" I exclaim, I grab her and pull her into a hug.

"B-blue...can-n't breathe" she sputters out.

I immediately drop her, she falls on her but and onto my lap. "Sorry" I say "hey wait, we don't need air to breathe".

Pink smiles at me "well you were squeezing me so tight, anyways you promised to take me to your new colony".

"I did?" I ask.

Pink nods very quickly "yeah you said that once the lazulis are done with terraforming you'd take me there, well it's been a year and they're done" pink says excitedly.

I smile at her, then it dawns on me, was it today...I quickly put pink down on the ground and pull up a screen and I look at the date.

No....no no no... Today was the day that Pink got "shattered" or turned into Rose Quartz.

I stand up almost stepping on Pink, she starts running to the door, she hits the panel and calls for me "come on Blue" she says.

She runs out of the room."Pink" I say as I run to the door, once I get to the door a blood-chilling scream rips through the quiet room.

I frantically try to open the door, but I accidentally hit the panel to hard and it breaks. "Pink" I start sobbing.

I eventually I break down the door with my own hands, I pry open the door and I step outside.

The soft wind blows from the left, I see pink's palanquin in front of me. I start walking towards it sobbing "pink, no pink" I cry harder.

My foot hits something hard, I look down to find not only Pink's shards but White's shards and Yellow's shard.

I drop to my knees, I pick up their shards and I hug them tightly to my gem. "NO" I scream to no one. Tears are pouring from my eyes, but my aura isn't loose.

I hear faint footsteps in front of me, I look up, through my blurry vision I all I see is a pink and white figure. As the figure comes closer I try to stand up, and I'm still cradling the gem shards in my hands, I wipe the tears in my eyes to see a Rose Quartz. No...the Rose Quartz.

"Y-you" is all I say before she tackles me to the ground. The gem shards go flying, and they hit the ground and shatter into even more pieces.

I scream in terror.

She holds her long, pink, blood-covered blade above my gem, "don't worry, you'll join them" she thrusts her blade deep into my gem and through my back and pins me into the ground.

"Noooo" I scream as I quickly sit up. Tears roll down my cheeks, I move some of my still light hair to check my gem for anything, a few tears drop onto my skin and my gem.

I sigh as I see no cracks or any other sign of damage, tears are still rolling down my cheeks. I feel my stomach churn from the stress of my dream, I look up at the sound of my doors opening.

Two topazes run into my room. "Are you *sniff* okay my diamond?" she asks as tears roll down her own eyes.

"W-we heard *sniff* screa-aming" the second one says.

I look around my room to see blue light has consumed everything "i-im fine" I quickly wipe my eyes and pull my aura in "sorry about that, it was just a bad dream"

"Okay, but if you need anything we'll get it for you" the other topaz says, I nod as they exit the room and close the door.

I wipe my entire wet face with my arm, my stomach is still killing me, I fall back down onto my pillow. I clutch my belly with my hand while the other one wonders where Yellow would be.

Stars, I wish she was here, usually when I'd get a nightmare she would sing me to sleep while she'd hold me. Maybe I should try to talk to her, I could send her a message, but I want to see her face.

I sit back up and summon another blue screen, I squint from the brightness but I turn that all the way down, I glide my fingers across the screen trying to call her.

Once the screen starts buzzing, I wait for her to pick up. "Come on, come on, the rebels shouldn't be giving you so much trouble" I tap my finger on my uncovered thigh "well I shouldn't underestimate any rebellion, no matter the size"

I let it buzz for a few more seconds before I hang up "she going to pay for that" I grumble.

"Maybe I shou- no she is probably still mad, maybe I should talk to Steven. No, he's probably asleep or busy" I mumble to myself out loud.

I sigh, looks like I'm not getting to sleep any time soon. Well it's not like a night of no sleep poofed anyone, I exit out of what I was doing on the screen, I decide to contact the chef gems to bring me a green apple and a cup of water.

I switch the screen once more to all the work I didn't do, I read over reports that gems have sent and files about the rebellion. I have some messages from the leaders of the rebellion, but I'm going to read those later.

After a quarter of a cycle, my door chime startles me. I rapidly stand up and I quickly make my nightgown reach all the way down just below my knees. I dismiss my screen and I walk to the door.

I hit the panel as quickly as I can, the doors open with a SWISH as two topazes walk in with my green apple and a cup of water.

"Here I can take them" I say, I try to bend down a little to grab the green apple and the water "thank you" I say as the walk out of the room.

I close the door behind them with my foot, I take a big bite of my apple as I walk back to my bed. I put the large cup of water on the nightstand and I get back in my original position.

I pull up my screen again to get more work done, but the screen flashes Yellow and I nearly choke on my apple.

I pull up the message from Yellow diamond, my heart flutters as I see her face. I push the play button and turn up the sound.

"Blue, why aren't you in bed? I told White to put you to sleep by 18:00" Yellow sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose

I roll my eyes when she mentions the bedtime, I take another big bite of my apple.

"Unless you had a nightmare and woke up, if its that then I'm sorry, I'll be there in a few rotations. Just remember to relax, eat well, drink lots of water, and don't put on any extra stress it's not good for you or the gemlings" she smiles.

I am reminded of what's inside of me as I put my hand on my baby bump.

"Yellow diamond" a gem that is off-screen says out of breath. "What is it Obsidian" Yellow sounds annoyed

"The rebels are closing in, we need you out there" the Obsidian says. A huge BOOM rattles the building that Yellow is in.

Fear starts to seep into me, and anxiety starts to build at the bottom of my stomach.

Yellow turns her head to face the screen, she sighs "looks like I've got to go, if you and White could look over the files for me, that would be lovely. So good night my love" her hand reaches out to turn off the recording.

"Bye" I say to no one. I finish the rest of my apple and I toss it in the bin by my bed.

I let out a mixture of a yawn and a groan. I pull up the time to see that a cycle has passed since I last checked, I let out another groan. I run my fingers through my hair knotted hair.

Should I try to sleep? Maybe I should let my stomach settle? I should drink my water...I pull my hand free from my tangled hair, I turn to grab the glass of water but the cup slips through my fingers.

I'm able to hold the water in the air but glass shatters on the hard floor. "Ah fuck" I say. I use the water from the cup to pick up the glass, I dump the shards into the trash.

I move the blob of water around, I let my hand drop and I try to keep the water in the air. But it's making me tired, so I quickly try to stuff it in my entire mouth and swallow it.

I fall back onto my pillow, I pull the thick blankets on top of me, my stomach makes a low grumbling noise but it's not from hunger.

I groan and I turn my entire body again, to face where Yellow would sleep. I hope she's okay, it sounded like the rebels were bombing the building, we'll maybe they were just trying to break down the wall?

No. They'd never do that, they would try to blow up the building with her in it. What if they do blow up the building and poof her? Or worse....shatter her...

Hot tears form in my eyes at the thought of losing her, I can feel the apple creeping back up to my mouth. I try to keep it down but it's not working, I tear the blankets off of my and I sprint to the "bathroom".

I almost break the panel trying to hastily open the doors, once their open I bolt straight for the "toilet".

I almost trip on the rug that I put in there, I quickly lift the lid and not a moment too soon, I unload everything that was in my stomach.

After a few minutes of clearing almost everything inside me, I get up from my position and I wipe my mouth. I walk over to the light blue sink and I wash my hands and I scoop up some of the water and put it in my mouth, I swish it around then spit it back out.

I dry my hands and sit down on the plush navy blue rug, I wrap my arms around my knees and I start crying.

Why...why am I like this...even after finding Pink/Steven I'm still after and weak, that's all I do, that's all I'm good for. That's why I need someone to take care of me. Cause I can't take care of myself, I can barely even drink water let alone eat, im utterly useless.

I comb my hand through my hair again, but when my finger gets caught on a knot, I just rip it out from my scalp.

Something moves around inside me, I ignore the pain from my head and I unwrap my arms and I let my legs touch the carpet. I carefully lift my baby blue nightgown all the way up to my belly, I drag a finger across my baby bump.

I then drag my nail horizontally across,  the slower I go the harder I push my nail into me. I make sure not to break the skin but hard enough to leave a mark. I let out a small yawn.

I wipe my eyes and I pull my nightgown back down to my thighs, I carefully move to the " toilet" and I put my hand on it and I slowly push myself up.

I groan when I get to my feet, I slowly drag my feet across the rug, not even bothering to pick up my feet, I shiver when cold blue tile floor.

I move slowly towards the "sink", I place a hand on the sink and I lean on it for support. I let out a big yawn and shiver.

One of the gemlimgs starts moving. I let out a groan. "I get it, you three are tired, I'm tired too". I let out another big yawn "I-if it wasn't for you three, I wouldn't need to sleep, or eat, or drink. Hell, I wouldn't even do what I just did" I yell at my baby bump.

They answer that with a few more movements. I carefully make it past the sink and to the door, I slam my fist on the panel and the door opens.

I slowly wobble my way to the bed, I pull the blankets back and I lay on the cold plush mattress, I wrap the entire blanket around me to make a cocoon.

I clutch my baby bump with both arms, I let out an exhausted sigh as I finally get comfortable. It takes me a few minutes to fade into darkness and fall asleep, but I do it without annoying thoughts.

"G-good night yellow" I mutter to no one.

If anyone is curious, this is the longest chapter I've ever written, it Is a little over 3000 words! But see y'all next Saturday! Adios.

(I forgot the tags)