#rei suwa emotional support bathtub

[cynicaloldbat]

I came to the realization that Rei & Ice Bear have the same energy.

[lady-wallace]

Whumptober Day 29 (Buddy Daddies)

Final Buddy Daddies fic for @whumptober More Rei angst today with some headcanons about his mother and why he sleeps in a bathtub.

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Prompts Used: Scented Candles, Troubled Past Resurfacing, 'What happened to me?' Fandom: Buddy Baddies Character: Rei

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Read on Ao3

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Kazuki was an enigma to Rei. He didn't understand his insistence on keeping the apartment clean, or on making three meals a day (and forcing Rei to eat them). Making sure Rei showered, cutting his hair, and buying furniture to fill up the empty spaces. Well, maybe that made a little sense to Rei because it meant there were more things to hide behind in the event of an attack.

But perhaps it was because Kazuki was so normal. Rei had never been around people like that. He'd watched them on the outside living their lives. It was that curiosity that had led him to heading off to live on his own before he realized that he wasn't good at fitting in with normal people.

Even now, Kazuki was humming happily to himself as he came back to the apartment after shopping, calling to Rei while he sat on the couch playing games.

"Hey, I'm back! Grabbed some stuff for dinner."

Rei didn't reply. He had figured out that Kazuki would talk no matter if he did or not. He seemed to have a need to fill a space and it was, a lot of time, a welcome distraction to Rei.

He glanced over toward the kitchen where Kazuki was putting stuff away and saw him setting out a couple expensive looking candles on the counter.

"Got some candles today—thought they might make the place smell better."

"Why?" Rei had to ask.

"Dude, it reeks in here," Kazuki replied as he rummaged around for a lighter. "Trust me, you'll be able to tell the difference."

Rei turned back to his games, not wanting to bother trying to figure out another weird—or perhaps normal?—thing his roommate was doing.

That was until he caught the scent of the candles wafting through the house, sugary, warm and—

Gentle hands caring for a scraped knee.

A smile hovering over him, surrounded by long black hair.

"Stay here, don't move!"

A bathroom, inside the tub—broken glass all around. 

"I'll always love you."

"Stay here and cover your ears."

Two men carrying something under a blood-stained sheet.

A sharp sting on his cheek, falling to the floor. "Soft like your mother."

"I'll always love you."

Rei gasped aloud, staggering to his feet, his hand coming to his head, dizzy from the sudden assault of—what, memories? Definitely memories, but from where?

"Rei? Hey, you good, man?"

He had to stop this. He grabbed his pistol and shot the candle, exploding the glass and wax into a hundred pieces and leaving a bullet hole in the wall behind it as Kazuki dove away with a shriek.

"Wh-what the hell man?" Kazuki demanded. "The landlord's gonna kill us for that!"

Rei didn't reply, he couldn't. He had to get out of here, away from the scent.

He hurried out of the apartment, stopping once he was out of the street, breathing in fresh air and effectively clearing his head.

What happened to me? he wondered, looking down at his shaky hand. That kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen to him. His father had made sure he was trained better than that.

SLAP—Soft like your mother

"Mother," Rei whispered.

He didn't remember his mother…he thought. But, that must have been….

"Rei!"

He startled as Kazuki jogged up to him, slowing down as he realized Rei wasn't going to go anywhere.

"Hey, man, I hope I didn't offend you or anything," he said. "I just thought the candles would be nice. Are you allergic or something?"

Rei shook his head.

"Then why the hell did you shoot it, man—those are expensive, you know!"

"I don't know," Rei finally replied, hands clenching. "Can you shut up?!"

Kazuki looked like he had slapped him and Rei might as well have. He'd never addressed the other man like that before, barely paid him outward heed.

"Rei, are you all right?"

"Leave me alone," Rei replied as he pushed past the other man and headed back to the apartment, going directly to his room. He needed to clear his head. He sank onto the bed, trying to take deep breaths to steady himself.

The same images flashed through his mind: Soft hands, long black hair, warm sweet scent of sugar, bathtub, broken, shouting, broken glass…

Rei didn't realize he had been clenching his hands so hard until he looked down to see his nails had made red crescents in his palms. He let out a shuddering breath and loosened his hands, still finding dangerous tremors in them.

Why had this affected him so much? Why had he allowed it to? He couldn't understand why those memories he didn't even know he'd had just showed up all of a sudden, uninvited, just because he had smelled a damn candle.

He stretched out on the bed, lowering one arm over his eyes as he tried to clear his mind. But everything just felt like it was such a mess and he didn't know what he was going to do.

XXX

Rei slunk down the stairs later that evening when he heard Kazuki banging around in the kitchen. It wasn't a familiar feeling to him, but he felt somewhat awkward, almost…well, a little bad about yelling at Kazuki earlier. While it technically was his fault for buying the candle, he couldn't know what had happened in Rei's head because of it.

Rei took a seat at the counter, hunched slightly. He could see the candle that he hadn't shot sitting to one side and tried not to let it make him uncomfortable. He watched Kazuki cook for a few minutes. The man always seemed so sure of himself while he was in the kitchen, doing things Rei had never seen anyone do before. But then, he could barely make toast, so what did he know?

"You hungry?"

Kazuki's words startled him out of his strangely rambling mind. He shrugged.

Kazuki continued, moving on to crack eggs, tossing the shells over his shoulder into the sink.

One missed and spattered raw egg on the counter and Kazuki glanced back with a sheepish grin. "Aw, missed. Was sure I'd get it that time." He chuckled, then let out a sigh with a brief smile. "My wife always hated it when I would do that."

Rei watched him clean it up and toss the shells into the trash before going back to cooking.

"You know, the only reason I bought the candles is because they reminded me of my wife," Kazuki went on. "She always had a million of them around the house, I was afraid she'd light the place on fire." He smiled fondly. "

Rei furrowed his brow. Kazuki never talked about his wife. Rei knew she had died, that was all. He'd seen one picture of her before Kazuki had put it into a drawer, clearly stating that it was none of Rei's business. So it confused him that he was bringing her up now.

"That scent was her favorite," Kazuki added.

The memories flashed back through his mind again and he squeezed his eyes shut before another memory popped into his head.

"This one is my favorite, doesn't it smell good, Rei-chan?" Warm flame, lighting the dark room. A soft kiss on his forehead through a curtain of black hair. "Maybe it will help you sleep."

Something caught in his throat and before he knew it he said, "My mother's too."

It surprised him and apparently surprised Kazuki too because he paused briefly before resuming his work, pouring eggs into a pan.

Rei was still confused about why he had even spoken when Kazuki said, "Memories can hurt sometimes. I still get sad when I think of her. But, you know, I guess that's how you know someone had an impact on your life."

But what if you don't remember? Rei wondered.

XXX

Rei never usually slept well. He was too hyperaware of his surroundings to fall into more than a light sleep. Tonight was worse though, because on top of his usual trained anxiety, he could not stop the images flashing through his mind, a messy jumble that threatened to drive him mad.

Because he did vaguely remember his mother, and he knew that something bad had happened to her, so how the hell had he forgotten that? He wanted to remember, but he didn't know how…

Rei pushed himself up from the couch where he had been trying to sleep, and glanced to the corner of the kitchen counter where Kazuki had set the second candle.

Rei got up and padded over to grab it, staring at it warily. He hadn't liked the loss of control he'd felt earlier when it came to the memories, but…

He wanted to remember. Maybe if he could control the situation, it would help everything become clearer?

"Stay here, don't move"

The frantically whispered words echoed again and Rei suddenly started upstairs, slipping into the bathroom. The tub stood there like some kind of sanctuary, a promise of safety. Rei set the candle down on the side of it and pulled out his lighter.

Warm light emanated from the flame, and he eased himself down into the tub, sitting cross-legged with his hands clasped in front of him, head down. He closed his eyes as the sweet scent filtered in, setting off memories once more.

He took a deep breath and tried to stop the instant flow, plucking one out and trying to focus on it, breathing the scent in deeply:

"Can't sleep again?"

Rei lay curled under his blankets, shaking his head. He could hear the men in suits outside, slamming car doors and driving away. They scared him.

"Here, I have an idea."

His mother left the room for a moment before returning with a candle. She set it by his bedside and lit it silently. A comforting glow spread around the room, allowing Rei to breathe a little easier.

"This one is my favorite, doesn't it smell good, Rei-chan?" Her face was in shadows, but she leaned over the bed, silky black hair acting as a curtain for the world beyond as she bent to kiss his forehead. "Maybe it will help you sleep."

"But papa—"

"Your father doesn't need to know," his mother said softly, stroking his hair. "Everyone needs a little light in the dark. Now close your eyes, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

Rei blinked, inhaling sharply. He couldn't remember the last time he had thought of his mother with such clarity. He had completely forgotten being that young even. It seemed so long ago in more than just years.

He swallowed hard and tried to dig for the other memory, focusing on the bathtub.

A loud bang startled him awake, Rei had barely opened his eyes before his mother was scooping him out of bed, carrying him quickly out of the room, where the men in suits were rushing down the hall, guns in hand.

"Mama?"

"Shh, be quiet."

She threw open the bathroom door and placed Rei into the tub. 

"Stay here, don't move," she said quickly, cupping his cheek. "Just stay here and cover your ears."

"What's happening?"

"Don't ask questions, darling," she pleaded. "Promise me you'll stay down and not come out until I come for you. You'll be safe here, I promise." She leaned in and kissed his forehead. "I'll always love you, Rei."

Then she was gone and Rei was torn on following her, but the loud bangs sounded out and he was too scared so he curled up as small as he could in the tub and slammed his hands over his ears. 

He didn't know how long he waited. Noises crashed around him, shards of glass and plaster sprinkling down as things exploded in the room. But Rei stayed still, knowing his mother wouldn't lie. That as long as he did he would be okay.

He stayed that way a long time after the sounds stopped. Someone opened the door and Rei finally looked up, hoping it was Mama but it was just one of the men in suits.

"I found him," the man said speaking into a crackling radio. "He seems to be okay."

The man reached into the tub and picked Rei up, shoes crunching over the glass on the floor.

"Mama," Rei murmured.

The man didn't say anything, but Rei wriggled free as soon as they got out and started running as the man swore.

"Mama!" he shouted.

He ran until he hit his father, staggering back as the man made no move to help him, staring at the milling men in the entryway of the house. Two men were picking up stretchers covered in red-stained white sheets, carrying them out the front door.

Rei saw a curtain of dark hair spilling from under one of them and started forward.

"M-Mama!"

His father caught his shoulder tightly, hauling him back.

"She won't be coming back, boy. You'd best get used to that. It's time to grow up and begin learning the duties of the Suwa heir."

He left, leaving Rei standing there, alone.

Rei came out of the memory, hands shaking, breaths coming quick and sharp. He looked around, half expecting to see that destroyed bathroom from before, but it was just the same as it always was, with the addition of the candle.

He let out a long breath, slowly laying down in the tub to stare up at the ceiling, allowing the warm scent of the burning wax to lull him. When he closed his eyes he could almost feel the touch of a hand on his cheek, soft lips on his forehead.

"I'll always love you."

"Mama," he whispered. An odd feeling came over him, not necessarily sadness—it had been so long ago now. But he felt glad to have remembered. Perhaps Kazuki was right. Maybe memories were worth the hurt they caused.

He curled up in the bottom of the tub, feeling safe with the candle glow and closed his eyes. And for the first time in a long time, he was able to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.

XXX

Kazuki got up to grab a drink of water, noticing that Rei's bedroom door was open. Not that he usually slept there anyway, but he was still feeling a little bad about the candle incident. He didn't know what the scent might have brought up, but he was sure it probably wasn't good considering Rei's reaction.

But his roommate wasn't on the couch either when Kazuki got downstairs, which was odd.

Frowning, Kazuki got his glass of water and returned upstairs.

That was when he saw a warm glow from under the bathroom door and caught the scent of brown sugar and vanilla.

"Rei?" he asked.

There was no reply, and, worried, Kazuki cautiously opened the door.

The first thing he saw was the candle sitting on the side of the tub, burning away with a warm glow.

Inside the tub was Rei, curled in the bottom, sleeping heavily, breathing even and slow. His face actually looked relaxed and Kazuki felt an almost brotherly affection toward the younger man at the sight.

He went to grab a blanket, draping it over the sleeping man, leaving the candle burning as he went to catch some sleep himself.

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