#ren suffers from brainrot

[kiwanopie]

New Recruit!

Crime Au!Sakusa Kiyoomi x fem!Reader

short drabble because I’ve been on a mini crime au brainrot

cw: fluff. minor character death, misogyny (not by Kiyoomi) references to a criminal organization, a little gore, a lot of Kiyoomi being whipped beyond comprehension

wc: 1.5k

You just showed up one day.

Granted, the boss’s behavior had been a little weird for a while. Less picky about the little things, less prone to administering punishment over something small. He’d take his lunch breaks out of his office now more often than not, which in itself was its own brand of odd. But coming back an hour later with his hair disheveled and his cuffs tucked up his sleeve, a few odd bruises hidden on his collarbone; that was just uncanny. Nobody could really comprehend a mean stickler like him getting a girlfriend.

But then one day, Atsumu trudging himself to his boss’s office with a sigh - Eyebrows already cinched by the stress that should come at telling his less than congenial boss that his team has been crunching the numbers, and it looks like they might be dealing with a mole. Already out of patience for the lecture he’s about to suffer through, before going through the wearisome task of rounding up all the workers, and then sitting through the world’s most boring execution. He can already hear Kiyoomi’s irritated sigh. And if this were any regular job he just might say he's been due some vacation time.

Atsumu runs an exasperated hand through his blonde hair. “Aye boss, you-“

There’s a girl sitting on his lap.

A pretty thing too. Soft pretty doe eyes, softer satin skin, cute little dress that rides up your thighs as you sit on his boss’s lap and fuck if you don’t look squeezable. Just getting a glance at you from his spot at the door has him turning pink. He barely even realizes he’s staring. - Where the fuck did he pick you up from?

“Uh… Sorry,” Atsumu clears his throat. “I can come back later if yer busy.”

You tilt your head as the hand comfied on your back scoots lower with a quiet hiss, Kiyoomi makes an effort to keep you comfortable by hooking his hand over your hip. “It’s fine. What’s the issue?”

Atsumu’s stare flickers between you both. “The-… Adrian and the boys downstairs have been summin’ up our contract to success ratio over the past couple months and uh, it looks like we might be dealin’ with a mole.”

Kiyoomi expectedly doesn’t look very pleased at something like that but it’s a far cry from his usual scowl and tirade combo. More of a… frustrated grimace? Annoyed more than anything else. “Do they have any idea who it could be?”

“We got it down to Sugar, Ayame, Ren, and Susumu. Since they’ve been the only ones who can’t be accounted for durin’ some bumps in the day.”

Kiyoomi nods slowly. “Okay…”

Atsumu watches you lean for one of the luxury pens in his pencil holder. Last time he reached for one those the bastard flicked him hard on the knuckles. But you study the carefully cashmered casing without so much as glancing up for a response.

Kiyoomi pulls at the bottom of it until the cap releases with a small click, reaching for a notepad on his desk to jot down a few quick numbers. “Yeah, okay… Kill them all then.”

“Wha- You sure?”

“Let’s not risk it.” He says. Like it always could have been that easy. “We’ll send a few flowers to their families, say they died on a contract. If the mole’s people are smart they’ll know it’s a lie. Then it’s up to them to make their move.”

Wha- So this guy can pick and choose when to be difficult?! “O.K.! I’ll get that handled for ya then.”

“Lock the door on your way out.”

He bows as he turns for the door again, twisting the lock before closing it carefully.

And then he’s blowing out a disbelieving raspberry.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out this guy is head over heels for whoever the hell this chick is. Kiyoomi’s not exactly a sociable guy, or a… particularly affable guy either, so seeing him start to go so out of his way to make sure someone’s happy feels like stepping into the twilight zone. He hasn’t completely changed, don’t get him wrong. Just cause he’s laying down a path of roses for his sweetheart doesn’t mean the bed of eggshells the rest of the guys have to stumble on gets any less sharper. The guy started enforcing a whole rule against loud sudden noises just cause they startle his princess whenever you drop by. No fights - at least, not without the threat of mutilation should they start one when you’re around. No overtly coarse language, no gun play near his office, if you gotta kill a package do it where you won’t hear it scream, and under no - No circumstances do you touch or even stare too long at the missus.

“Or what?” Kaio snorts. “With all the bullshit he’s making us do for this chick, I could at least expect some eye service?”

Atsumu scoffs as Hinata winces. “Yeahh… You probably shouldn’t say something like that out loud.”

Kaio snorts. “Why? Cause she’ll hear? She walks around in those skimpy little dresses and I can’t even look? Feels like a buncha work with no pay off. Least tell us where you found the slut. Whatever she’s got has to be pretty fuckin’ good if he’s already this whipped.”

Atsumu glances at Bokuto who snorts into his coffee cup. Reacting more to the way his coworker wearily shakes his head than the guy talking himself into an early grave.

He licks his lips before commenting. “You’re pretty stupid, Katsuro.”

“Says the guy who shot himself in the ass playing poker. Twice.”

Kaio grimaces before sitting back in his seat, looking on at his fellow high ranking coworkers as they avoid his place in the room. “What? Am I wrong? The broad’s turned this place into a daycare center. First no yelling, then no fighting - hell, give it a few months and she’ll tell the bastard that we can’t kill anymore-“

Click!

The cold metal against the back of his head sends shivers down his spine.

Kiyoomi affirms flatly. “She wouldn’t do that. ‘Wouldn’t be able to keep business booming like it is.”

“B-Boss-“

“The pay off is that by doing what I say, you get to live another day. A worthless piece of shit like you can comprehend something like that, right?”

“Ye-Yes, sir.” Kaio swallows. “Look I didn’t mean anything by-“

Kiyoomi presses the barrel a little firmer against his head, enough to make him flinch. “Don’t go back on your word, Katsuro. You said what you said and you meant it. - At least, say you died for a reason.”

Atsumu has to cough into his shoulder to keep himself from outright laughing at the way Kaio all but turns blue. “Sakusa-san-“

“I shouldn’t have to say how dumb it was to speak out of your ass about my fiancé, especially on my soil. - Eating my food, and wearing my clothes, and breathing breaths that I gave you. The money in your pocket, the bed you sleep in at night, every fucking thing you have is because of me. Can you understand that?”

“Yes, of course, sir.”

“That makes you my property?”

“Y-Yes.”

Kiyoomi exhales out of his nose. Tall broad frame casting a shadow over the man as he all but towers behind him. “What do you suppose I do when my property - one of my things starts to behave defectively? I don’t need something that doesn’t work anymore, do I?”

“Please, Sakusa-san-“

“A gunshot makes a pretty loud noise,” Kiyoomi squares his feet. “Aren’t we lucky she didn’t show up today.”

“I’m-“

The barrage of blood stains Hinata’s suit jacket.

Kiyoomi scowls at the mess before him as he backs away from the sodden chair, brain matter already soaked into his button up and turning cold in the breeze of the AC. The waste of a good bullet makes him kiss his teeth, but blowing his cool like that makes him frown altogether. He’s been trying to work on his temper. If you were here, he knows you’d be disappointed, and he can’t afford to blow his top in front of you should something like this happen when you’re around.

He sighs as he flicks the safety with his thumb. Piece of shit like that wouldn’t know the word compromise if it blew his skull in. He opens his mouth to tell one of them to call for clean up.

Before Bokuto’s blowing out his eardrums. “Oh my god! You got engaged?!! Congratulations!!”

Kiyoomi freezes.

“…Thank you.”

“Hell yeah, Omi,” Atsumu reaches for his brandy. It’s 10am. “Congrats! Happy to see an old firecracker like you get tied down.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh! When’s the wedding?! Do you have a date or anything set yet?”

“I’m hoping this winter,” Kiyoomi exhales. “Spring at the latest but I’m not worried about expenses. Just what it’ll take to fly her family out this way.”

“Do any of them speak Japanese?” Atsumu asks.

Kiyoomi’s sighing again. “No.”

He narrows his eyes as his number two snorts.

Hinata clears his throat. “Does anybody have a towelette?”

“Uh - Yeah,” Kiyoomi bashfully reholsters his pistol. “Sorry about that.”

reblog? 🥺 uwu

[wasyago]

God I am brainrotting SO HARD over bdubs and impulse I am going feral over them. THEY ARE HAPPILY MARRIED. THEY WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW. ren said he saw them holding hands and making out in the woods

SAME they're so gay and so in love and so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. i just love how they immediately jumped on the whole "we are now married" thing, how impulse keeps saying "this is us now", how bdubs calls him "honey" and "my love" and this whole thing with "i was on full hearts since i knew you were my soulmate"- OUGH THEY'RE SOOO

and don't get me started on this gentle music playing in the background of impulse's video, i am not normal about it. and how impulse proposed with the clock and everything... how bdubs always chooses one person to stick by and how he is loyal to the one he cares about... and how now this person is his soulmate that cares about him too... they're so gentle i think im gonna die just thinking about them. how they discuss all the daily stuff and what style their (their) house is going to be, and what farms they should make, what stuff they should hide. impulse saying he will need to make a safe pool in case bdubs falls while building. bdubs remembering that impulse wanted the brown mushroom and trying to get it as soon as he gets the opportunity, even when Impulse himself forgot. impulse saying he learns a lot of new stuff about bdubs that day. bdubs constantly complimenting impulse on his skills and knowledge. bdubs remembering impulse doesn't like the sound of horns and joking that impulse will leave him because of it.

and god at the very start when there were four of them, bdubs noticed that he took damage as soon as Impulse did, but he didn't push the topic until they found out later. maybe he didn't want to assume things, maybe he didn't want to be hopeful, maybe he had other things on his mind to care about. but after they figured it out ouuugh man, yes they found out they were soulmates just a few seconds ago, yes they are now married for life, yes they are now in love and they are proud and they are going to tell the world about it. and they put their minecraft beds together and everything. also jeez ren, leave the men some privacy! maybe they want to make out in the woods and there's nothing wrong about it, keep ya nose out of their business!

also i for some reason really want to compare them to scar and grian. because scar didn't care about finding his soulmate, he would've never did it if grian didn't come to pick him up. they both spent this whole session struggling. and their both reactions to finding out were "NOOOOO" and "oh my god...". they don't care, but they do care, they have to care, at least grian does, because otherwise scar is going to kill them both. and in contrast bdubs and impulse, who cared from the very start. they cared, and they protected each other, and they were one of the first ones to find their pare and they spent most of this session together planning and protecting. true love is real or something. they're just. so lucky? they found each other and they love each other and they're comfortable with each other? while others are struggling and suffering to find their pair, or to keep them alive, or they don't want their pair at all and they're finding someone else, or they're abandoned by their soulmate aka the only person who should really care and are now trully and utterly alone? i would maybe go out of my way and say that some people could be jealous of what bdubs and impulse has going on, because they got everything so easy. but i doubt it, at least for now, because people have things to deal with other than caring about other's relationships. might be worth it to take a mental note of this stuff for the future though! when someone is on red and they can hit a pair of soulmates where it would really hurt--

woooow okaaaay i maybe got a little carried away there. very normal about bdubs and impulse as you can see. clearly. uh huh

[ame-in-the-rain]

realized that because ren was originally a faith oc, it'd be REAL funny if cool city and faith was set in the same universe

(cool city explanation under cut to not clog your dash)

okay so i've been exclusively listening to so-lo for the past couple weeks because brainrot and i realized that the tracklist could work really well as a jukebox musical so here's the story:

In winter of 1986 and after he loses his dear partner on a mission, private investigator Johnny McGill travels 2000 miles to a mysterious place in urban Connecticut only referred to as Cool City for a case. The city has gained traction for drawing in the young-ins and other social outcasts to find a "place they belong." There he meets Ren O'Malley, a teen who ran away from home after suffering a botched exorcism. She's learned that unlike most people in Cool City, she is physically unable to leave due to potentially supernatural means

there's a cult in there at some point i swear i know what i'm doing i need to have more psychic visions before i figure out the rest

[erabundus]

@obedientmade &&. said... Random positivity ask! I've always loved Scaramouche as a character. He's gone through so much, is very complex in all facets, and has always generally intrigued me. We haven't interacted much yet, but Ren has to be, without a doubt, easily one of my favorite interpretations/portrayals I've seen of him. I love reading the intricacies of your writing, your headcanons, and just seeing how much clear thought and effort you've put into one of my most beloved Genshin characters, and how you've so uniquely made him your own. Ren is such a lovely little meow meow and I would die for him actually. His relationship with momijiba's Kazuha also has had me going from laughing, to smiling at how sweet they can be, to suffering from angst lmfao. Thank you for bringing such wonderful, endlessly entertaining interactions to my dash, because I've enjoyed every single one and I absolutely look forward to interacting with you myself further in the future!

THIS  IS  SO  SWEET!  😭i  think  i've  probably  mentioned  it  before,  but  scaramouche  was  the  entire  reason  why  i  started  playing  genshin  to  begin  with.  (  fellow  scara  enjoyer  —  excellent  taste,  i  am  shaking  your  hand.  )  i've  always  just  thought  he  was  neat  and  really  entertaining  to  watch,  even  when  we  only  had  a  grand  total  of  six  minutes  of  screentime  to  go  off  of.  i  actually  forced  myself  to  stop  writing  him  for  a  really  long  time  because  i  would  come  up  with  a  ton  of  ideas,  only  to  have  them  all  totally  ruined  six  months  later  when  we  got  a  new  crumb  of  lore.  after  a  while,  i  decided  i  would  only  write  him  again  once  he  was  actually  confirmed  playable  and  we  finally  knew  what  his  entire  deal  was  because  i  love!  coming  up  with  super  detailed  headcanons!  character  analysis  is  one  of  my  favorite  things  about  writing.  i'm  just  endlessly  fascinated  by  taking  what  canon  has  dropped  in  my  lap  and  reverse-engineering  it  to  figure  out  how  a  particular  muse  ticks.

and  ren  has  been  SUCH  a  fun  muse!  i've  written  on  tumblr  for  an  embarrassingly  long  time,  but  i  can't  recall  ever  having  this  degree  of  brainrot  for  a  single  character  before.  even  after  a  whole  year  of  this  blog,  i  still  feel  super  excited  whenever  i  know  i  have  a  bunch  of  drafts  or  asks  to  get  to  because  i  just  really  love  writing  him!  and  there  are  so  many  talented  people  here  that  i  feel  so  fortunate  to  write  with  —  milla  is  most  definitely  one  of  them.  (  honestly,  they  deserve  endless  praise  in  their  own  right. they're just as passionate about kazuha AND they tolerate my brainrot SKVSK  )  writing  kazuren  has  been  a  blast,  and  i'm  so  so  excited  to  see  where  they  go  from  here.

thank  you  so  much  for  the  kind  words!  i'm  really  glad  to  know  other  people  enjoy  my  silly  little  ramblings  and  i'm  looking  forward  to  interacting  with  you  as  well!  

[vilonnie]

[ID: A t-chart meme where the words "people who like royal trio" are labeling a wall of text and a screenshot from Persona 5 Royal of "Kasumi Yoshizawa" hiding behind Ren Amamiya for protection. On the other side, the words "people who like royal trio also" are labeling the sprites of Ren, Sumire Yoshizawa, and Goro Akechi, along with the text "haha transbian theatre kid gay duels to the death." End ID]

having a bad day? have you tried thinking about royal trio every day for a month straight until the brainrot makes your eyes fall out of your head

um. also here's the word vomit on the left under the cut... fair warning it is. excruciatingly long And completely deranged since the joke was that I have problems about them lol

these children were forced to sublimate their identities into idyllic roles in a game of gods while simultaneously being made to perceive themselves as monsters. joker is constantly being positioned as the perfect gentleman thief, The Savior, often of individual women but also of The World as a collective, to the point of symbolically *executing* parts of himself for the sake of his utility and the salvation of other people. there are multiple scenes of him stepping in front of a girl to bodily protect her from an attacker and the inciting incident of the entire narrative is him suffering for that role and losing his home, his family, and arguably in a sense his own face (glasses). actually glasses in general are highly symbolic in terms of persona 5 as a whole when you look at joker, sumire, maruki, and even crow, which can also tie into themes of "masks," "personas," and "cognition," but that's another topic. anyway even though joker is constantly martyring himself for others he is still the most demonized character in the entire game, having Satan as one of his other selves and existing in the people's cognition only as "the most dangerous inmate locked in the quarantine cell" (paraphrased). as the trickster and the leader of the phantom thieves he must always be strong and unfaltering - he is never allowed to cry, or to show weakness.

this also affects his relationship with sumire, who through the persona of kasumi is forced into a position where she must constantly be saved by others. kasumi is the perfect girl in every way - sweet, perpetually cheerful, thin, beautiful, feminine, an unimpeachable prodigy athlete who is expected to always get first place, who must do so effortlessly - but by the same token she can never be confident and fufilled on her own, and must always be rescued by the savior-martyr joker. what sumire cannot escape is that kasumi is The Damsel. her ultimate persona ella is literally a bride. and sumire, the flawed and human girl behind the mask who had her agency taken away from her the moment she was granted kasumi's name, hates and loves kasumi in equal measure for that perceived inhuman perfection. it is functionally because kasumi in sumire's eyes represents the fantasy of perfection which she can never really achieve that the idea of kasumi loving her is incomprehensible. kasumi cannot love her, cannot have admired or envied her gymnastics, cannot cook for her, and absolutely cannot have died for her, because a flawless princess cannot be human. kasumi has to have been this cool, untounchable, isolated eidolon, because to believe otherwise would destroy sumire - but in the end, it destroys her anyway when she herself is made to become the glittering ideal. and yet, becoming kasumi creates a dichotomy in sumire's head - if kasumi is everything that is good and worthwhile, than sumire is everything that is repulsive and unlovable. her hatred for kasumi was at its core a manifestation of her hatred for herself, and her belief that her only options were to either accept a future where she is unwanted or to die. after all, in sumire's mind, there is nobody in the real world who could value the survival of her true self. personally I do believe that joker and sumire love each other (platonically or romantically) but they're being shoved into these fabricated roles as savior and damsel by forces outside of control.

the same can be said for akechi. despite all the menace and mania of the black mask and the horrors he was directly complicit in, at the end of the day, akechi is an 18 yo who was being exploited by adults that should have been protecting him. and as the detective prince, he was overworked and paraded around to present him as this immaculate prettyboy savant, the sinless embodiment of justice who every citizen could expect to vanquish the evil criminals, even whle akechi himself was unable to see the prince as anything more than an artifice. by having to perpetuate the image of justice as a pure facade, akechi became further disillusioned and his lost faith in the world was accentuated. akechi was born miserable, llived a miserable life, and died miserable, all the while full of rage and believing that he would never belong anywhere. but even crueler is that there was hope for him. the thing about akechi's death that makes it work where other attempts at "redemption by death" do not is that any karmic undertones of the scene are simply a bonus. rather than leveraging his death against the morality of his actions, the implication is that akechi has to die primarily because he would be unable to live a happy life in the world as it exists now. given the oppression of the young in a corrupt society, inevitably some victims will be unable to survive. but akechi's death motivates the phantom thieves to keep going, to fight for real societal change, and to hold on to the hope that one day they will create a world where people like crow can live and escape the cycles of violence they're trapped in. still, thus doesn't make akechi's death any less painful. in his final moments, he came to realize how much joker cared about him as a friend, finally understood that he would never see him as a monster, and very nearly found that place to belong he had been deprived of. the phantom thieves reached out their hands for him to take - but it wasn't enough. joker loves him too, wanted him too, and it will never, ever be enough again, because akechi is dead. what ultimately connects the royal trio is that each of them is unable to live happily as their true selves when those in power force idealization and demonization upon them, and only by breaking free of those chains can they hope to experience true rebellion.

[cryopathiic-a]

So, because I suffer from the brainrot but I haven't finished the carrd yet, here is a quick post on the Modern Verse - bc I want to write in it in the time it will take me to finally make graphics :D Disclaimer; this is not going to be my only verse in a modern time setting, because I do make them around certain plots, usually. But this is the 'vanilla' one that I will default to, unless we have plotted otherwise.

So, a lot of things went down that night in the Infinity Castle; a couple of slayers came to fight him, poisoned him with seventy times the lethal dosage, cut his head off and the like. Long story he ended up in Hell. And in love. Deeply. It's a shame Shinobu-chan would not be seeing him for a very long time, because he still longs to express his gratitude; that she helped him unlock that part of him.

Dōma's time in the various circles of Hell was a lengthy, dull one; and that wasn't very pleasant, but it was certainly very good for his self-exploration. He likes to refer to it as his 'journey of enlightenment'. Really, he never saw it as a punishment, as he has come out of the experience feeling a lot more in tune with himself, that and... the ability to feel.

To someone who had lived their life as maladjusted as Dōma had, this ability was more of a karmic punishment, though.

Because now, when he was born again as the special only-son of a wealthy human family things were different. Once again, his parents were enamored with his unique, rare features. They gave him a name. They raised him gently. They sheltered him. They spoiled him with gifts. And still; he felt nothing towards those people. Even if his cold, dead heart had begun to beat at last, it would seem he was just too far gone to connect with others in any meaningful way! However... now he could bother to feel frustrated over that part. And so one night, in his rage, he cut those ties in cold blood.

And then, he became various people. An missionary, a fortune-teller, an adventurer, an up and coming actor, a famous singer from an exotic country, an enterpreneur, a philanthropist— the man next door who just moved in the neighborhood. He was driven by an insatiable desire to kill. He didn't know why it was there. It was as if, that day he turned the knife against his parents, something had awakened inside him. Some... memory.

As a serial killer, he has amassed a small following of sorts. No one knows his true identity, but he has managed to profit from these people through various means; ever so often, he may reach out to the platforms they have made to find each other and read about their lives; and place a little request or such. The Cult of Ren, they call themselves. Lotus Cult. Why is that so oddly familiar?

[arechickensreal]

ASBNVAMFSVKJSH<DVXHKJA<GXBHJKADVB ren is going bonkers over fictional men again !

ANYWAYS!!!

I'm opening up requests for error143 and blooming panic bcuz. im suffering from major brainrot.

so YEAH!!!!! send me requests lolz

[lianna-vine]

I’ve been suffering from OC brainrot lately. Rian Knave plagues my mind and demands to be drawn.

Here he is sometime in the TPOF era. I like to imagine that he partners with Ren and handles the more financial side of business.

Rian’s having a smoke while he checks out the latest batch of goods at the auction. Some of the people look quite interesting, but, well, it’s never a good idea to get high off your own supply wink.

[ventiswampwater]

It’s almost 2023, so let’s celebrate the good things that happened to us in 2022! List ten amazing things that happened to you this year, and then send this to ten people who brighten your day! <3

omg I'm late af with this hfsjhkrjfsdkjfsdkj

anyway UM

changed departments @ work so I no longer want 2 peel my eyes out w/a spoon daily

got back into fic writing (controversial good thing bc............the amount of brainrot I have accumulated bc of this is.............questionable)

ventured Outside significantly more. like. I took Hikes semi-regularly and had fun in Nature

made a lot of weird art!!

accumulated several Weird objects as well

went to the ren faire three times this past season and THRIVED!! will always and forever be sustained by the little girl I walked by who looked @ me and loudly exclaimed to her mom "there's so many pretty girls here!" LIKE LIL PERSON U FUEL MY DARKEST DAYS TYSM

became marginally less annoying and significantly more unhinged

this is NOT!! ten bc I'm currently suffering from the acute case of the dumb!! but anyway 2023!! let's be bizarre and peculiar idk

[lualovemail]

thirteen in the orange spacesuit when

[shovel-shuffle]

anyway heres some iris doodles

[chronic-claire-universe]

Tokyo Revengers: Their Babies See The Snow For The First Time

Hey hey dust bunnies, I know I must be writing for the brothel matchup but me and @moon-mars-ikemen often chit-chat and this idea came up, I need to fulfill my TokRev dads brainrot, so here some winter fluff 💜

Characther: Shuji Hanma, Chifuyu Matsuno, Ran Haitani

A.N: Not proofread!

Calm invades the house, Hanma blowns the first hit of his cigarette until he hears a noise from the babymonitor, fuck he thinks putting it into the ashtray and going towards his baby's room he founds her with open wide eyes, "Pumpkin" he says taking her from the crib with utmost delicacy, "Did something wake you up?" he says looking her and smiling, his daughter reply tighting on his suit, almost letting him know that she just missed her precious father.

The tall man walks comfortably towards the bathroom and washin the cigarette breath he says, "You sound too quiet pumpkin, are you sure to be my daughter?" he says pinching her cheek's fat and looking to her honey eyes while she roam around with her walker, "cmon let's go!" he says while taking his beige trench coat and covering her with layer of clothes to bring her outside. There she moves as soon as he puts her into the baby carrier, "There, this is my pumpkin, all talking and noisey" but it suddenly finishes when she feels a snowflake on the tip of her red nose, she stare for so long and Hanma can't help but bring his phone and snap a selfie to send you. "Let's build a snowm-" he says lowering towards the snowy lay on the park but a deep cry starts interrupting his words, hawks eyes catch immediately the source of his daughter's wail, a kid who threw a snowball to her shouting ugly. "Ohi fuckers, bring your fuckin kid away before I make your heads blow away" he says with his menacing look, "Shhh baby, daddy protects you" the wail calmed down again at the warm feeling of her father's heartbeat and tons of snowflakes falling towards them, "Seems that you really like this, hope we will enjoy it together until we grow up".

It was your first winter walk as a family, you with Peke J to the collar and Chifuyu with his daughter Keiko on his arms, "You sure grow up, princess" he says while huffing for the weight. Keiko suffered a bit during her first year of life, she couldn't go out for breathing problems, always avoiding walks or trips during the winter. This was the first time she saw the snow and she was fascinated, snowflakes seems like a magic for her little blue eyes, always trying to grab them unsuccesfully. Her curious mind trying to escape the tight hold Chifuyu puts on her, "No no princess, stay still! We don't want you to fall down!" but the baby seems to immersed in the white flakes falling into the ground, "Chifuyu let her crawl, the doctor said that she can play a bit if we pay attention, and there they are sit on the white lay in between her father's legs, helping build a snowball and toss it towards Peke who wants to destroy all of them, Chifuyu is tensed worrying for her, but as soon as he hears her gurgles and clappy hands he can't help but smile, "Do you like this princess?" he says with his wide smile, but suddenly the scene his interrupted by something "Dadddaa, daddaa" "OMG LOVE! SHE CALLED FOR ME Y/N, RECORD PLEASE!" he shouts gaining everyone attention, "SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD, SHE CALLED ME!" he says with uncontrallably happines making everyone smile and capture what was one of the most important moment of his life, his daugther's first snow, first word and her first strike, Peke J ruffled his fur to get away the snow Keiko throw on him.

It was his day off, or this is what he decided when he woke up with a splitting headache, "Love, what are you doing?" Ran groans as soon as he hears your alarm clock sets up at 6 a.m and he sees you gettin up, "Don't worry baby, stay in bed I just take Ren and prepare breakfast for her" even with his bedhead and sleepy eyes he manages to take your wrist and say, "Don't love, I'm going to take care of her, don't wanna go to work" he mutters the last part, "If you say so, but I can't stay at home so please let me go". He took him all the strenght he got and stirring his body, he just goes towards his daugther's room, "There she is my water lily" and rocking her back and forth he brings her towards his chest coming back in your bedroom and let her sleep on him for another good hour.

He woke up with you long gone, a note on the nightstand "Got a reunion, I'll come back tonight" he kisses it almost like to greet you from afar, "Now what do we do?" he says taking his blonde baby in between his arms, "Want to eat something?" he says while lookin at the sleeping baby, carefully bringing her towards your kitchen, but there it is from the big glass door on your balcony "Oh it's snowing water lily" he says trying to gain some attention from his infant, he doesn't tease her to wake up, she needs her rest, but it's almost a miracle how she wakes up at her father's words. "There you are" he says while kissing the crown of her head, making her snuggle and put her tiny fist towards her father's chest. Ran felt so in love looking at the way she seeked for his skin contact, "You're so cute, so small, I got you Ren don't worry" that's how they end up under a blanket, starfish coat for her all snuggled against Ran and looking to the snow falling while drinking his hot chocolate and her milk, "Auuu" she gurgles after finishing her milk, "That's right baby, it's the snow! When you will grow up we will go snowball fighting against uncle Rindou and your cousin and we're going to win" he says while caressing the baby's cheek, "What is that you're going to do with me?" a voice suddenly says snapping Ran attention, "Rindou!" he says alarmed "Mind to tell me why are you at home potentially catching a cold for your 2 month old daugther?" "Eheheh father daugther bonding time" he says "Come inside before I decide to tell your wife what you're doing with Ren!" this sounds like a menace more than ditching work without saying it to their boss.

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GON FREECSS IS NOT INSANE (and the next person who says he is is getting their shins broken)

Hi ! Welcome to another one of my brainrot analysis, and this one is entirely fueled by my hatred of people who mischaracterize Gon. I keep on seeing people say that Gon is crazy, unhinged, a psychopathic monster who only plays a role of the innocent kid. 

He’s not.

Gon is a 12 year old with severe trauma due to his dad’s abandonment and unhealthy standards and with a chaotic moral compass forged by his childhood spent on an isolated island.

He’s not a sociopath, not a psychopath, not a monster, not unhinged. He’s just a 12yo thrown in a ruthless world where he has to constantly prove his worth to feel like he can live up to his dad’s expectations. 

We’re so used to seeing shounen protagonists be happy, go-lucky characters who never suffer any real mental consequences from their past or adventures that some people have a hard time realizing that it’s just not realistic. 

Gon is a realistic portrayal of what happens to an abandoned child tossed in a merciless world where he constantly has to prove his worth. And of course, it’s not pretty. It’s terrifying to see Gon’s evolution, and it’s scary to see him slowly lose it. But it doesn’t make him a monster. It makes him feel human. 

Gon is introduced as this happy, cheery, stubborn kid who never backs down from a fight and likes the thrill of putting his life in danger. Which is…. normal in the shonen world, I’d say. But it’s really not normal for a 12yo, and when you take all the following events into account, it’s clear that Gon is not a normal shonen protagonist.

Gon is a very, very stubborn kid, and we get to see that very early in the manga. The one event that strikes me the most is during his face-off with Hanzo. 

Gon gets absolutely destroyed. He’s pretty much getting tortured, with Hanzo breaking his left arm and threatening to cut off the rest of his limbs if he doesn’t surrender. But Gon doesn’t back down. And it’s terrifying. 

No matter how much pain he’s in, no matter the consequences, he refuses to give up. 

Because he hates being seen as weak.

Gon refuses to show any hint of weakness, and gets extremely mad whenever people perceive him as such. It doesn’t matter what the consequences are, he will NEVER back down. He’ll never be weak, even if it kills him.

And we’ve seen this a lot throughout the manga. Right after he shows his Ren to Tsezguerra during the Greed Island interview, Gon is pissed because he felt like he was being treated like trash. Same thing during early Chimera Ant Arc, when Kite tells Gon and Killua to fight Rammott, Gon gets really, really mad when Kite implies that if they can’t defeat him, that means they’re weak. 

Gon really, really struggles with being perceived as weak. It’s the one thing he hates the most. That’s why he’s stubborn about this and never backs down even if it costs him his life : he wants to prove his worth. He feels that need to prove he’s not weak, to prove he’s not trash. 

Weakness is not an option. He has to get stronger and stronger and stronger, because at the end of the road lies his goal : Ging.

And to me, Ging explains Gon’s most prominent character traits. Because Ging not only created those traits, but he also enabled them.

In shonen anime, oftentimes, the main protagonist’s dad is out of the picture, but it never truly has any impact on the character’s mental state or behavior. This is not the case in Hunter x Hunter.

Ging leaving left Gon with deep, deep trauma, and an extremely distorted view on his self-worth that leads him to overcompensate with physical strength. 

When a child gets abandoned, they usually blame themselves. It creates that feeling of guilt, that maybe their parent left because of them, and that they weren’t and AREN’T important for them to just walk out like this.

This feeling of guilt and shame creates a twisted self esteem in that child, making them believe that they aren’t important, that they aren’t of value. That they aren’t worth anything. Because their parents left them, it surely had to do with them, right ?

Gon has that distorted self-esteem that a child experiences after being abandoned. He has absolutely 0 value over his own body, constantly breaking it, pushing it past its limit to reach his goals, and this lack of self-worth and need to prove his worth is oftentimes represented physically by Gon hurting/losing his arm. 

Everytime Gon loses/hurts his arm, it’s always after doing something out of need for validation. In Hunter Exam Arc, it’s right after refusing to let Hanzo win. In Heaven’s Arena Arc, it’s after he uses zetsu to win, no matter the consequences. In Yorknew Arc, Gon gets his hand destroyed by Nobunaga/his arm almost broken off by Feitan after he stood up to them. In Greed Island, Gon loses his hand for the sole purpose of training. And lastly, in Chimera Ant Arc, he loses his arm entirely after destroying Pitou in an attempt to ease his guilt.

Gon really struggles with his self-worth, and it’s also illustrated during the time they’re held hostage by Nobunaga, when Killua insists that he’ll stop his blade so that Gon can escape, even if it costs him his life. To which Gon replies with a sentence that is extremely crucial to be able to understand Gon’s character.

”I can say I’ll die, but you can’t !”

Gon values Killua’s life more than his own. He gets to talk about death, he gets to be hurt, he gets to put his life in danger, because it’s fine if he does it, but Killua is absolutely not allowed to. Gon has absolutely no value over his own life, and doesn’t care if he dies. He doesn’t care if he gets hurt. Because at the end of the day, his body is not of value, and I truly believe that Ging’s abandonment left him with a feeling that he wasn’t of value as a whole.

And to me, this broken sense of self-worth is what created Gon’s hatred of being seen as weak. Because if he shows weakness, then Ging was right to abandon him. If he’s weak, then that means he’s trash, and worth nothing. If he doesn’t live up to his dad’s expectation, then what’s the point ? He’d mean nothing. He’d be no one. Just a small island boy whose dad left because his job was more interesting. That’s why he has to prove his worth no matter what.

Finding Ging is like this Holy Grail to Gon. It’s the ultimate goal. Like Kite said the first time he met him, it’s the ultimate hunt. It’s something that proves you’re worthy. So of course, Gon has to do everything in his power to find him. Because he wants to prove his worth. He wants to find his dad and prove that he’s not weak.

And to me, that’s why Gon is so stubborn and self-destructive.

I mentioned that Hanzo fight earlier, and there’s something interesting that happens during that fight that can be used to illustrate this. 

Hanzo asks why Gon is so stubborn, why he refuses to back down when he could just lose this match and face someone else. It’s true, Gon could have easily given up and fought someone else, he could’ve won then. But he refused to even consider the possibility. He had to win THIS fight. But why ? Is it out of pride ? Is it out of pure stubbornness ? 

Well, as Gon says himself :

It has nothing to do with pride or being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. It’s easy. If he shows weakness once, he’s not worthy. He’s not worthy of finding Ging, and he’s worth less than trash. Because if he’s weak, he doesn’t deserve to find him.

And this is so, so important. Because this is the reason Gon never backs down from anything, even at the cost of his limbs. Because like he said, if he loses, he thinks that he won’t be able to meet Ging. So he has to do ANYTHING, anything at all, no matter the cost, to be able to find him.

That’s why he’s not backing down from the Hanzo fight at the cost of his arm. That’s why he’s using zetsu during his fight against Gido, even if it’s dangerous, because that’s what he has to do to get stronger. That’s why he purposefully blasts off his own hand during his fight with Genthru. Because he has to get stronger, no matter the cost. 

And Ging enables him. By making him feel like Gon has to “earn” the right to see him, Ging is fueling Gon’s self-destructive behavior. 

Ging enables him when he tells him that he has to hunt him to find him, that he doesn’t want to see him and that he’ll run away when he senses him coming. That cat and mouse game is putting extreme pressure on Gon’s shoulders. His dad expects great things of him. He expects strength, and he expects him to find him. It’s a challenge. And an unhealthy one.

Greed Island is another example of that unhealthy challenge and the pressure of Ging’s expectations. Greed Island was created for Gon. It was created to train him, and as Bisky says herself :

If Gon wants to see Ging, he has to be strong. He has to always be stronger and stronger so he can earn the right to see him.

Quoting one of my references here, but this is also a form of abandonment that fuels Gon’s self destructive behavior.

All of these expectations put extreme pressure on Gon’s shoulders. Because he has to keep on pushing further and further, always improving, always getting stronger, and he’s not allowed to show weakness because it’d mean losing his goal.

But showing weakness wouldn’t only mean he’d lose his goal. Being weak would also mean he’d lose Killua.

I mentioned that when a child gets abandoned, they fear it’s their fault and develop a broken sense of self-worth. But that’s not all. After having been hurt, it’s normal to try and minimize the risk of being hurt again. You’d do anything to not be walked out on again. And that’s what Gon is doing. His fear of vulnerability and weakness is a fear of rejection and abandonment.

That’s also why Gon hates being seen as weak. Because if he’s weak, not only is he not living up to his dad’s expectations, but he’s also running the risk of Killua walking out on him. Because he’s scared that if he shows weakness, Killua will leave him, just like Ging did. Because he’s not strong enough to keep him, or anyone by his side.

And to make up for that overwhelming feeling of insecurity and his guilt over being weak, Gon overcompensates with physical strength and stubbornness. We’ve seen it multiple times throughout the manga. Gon purposefully gets hurt when facing a dangerous situation, just so he can prove his worth. Just so he can get stronger. 

Gon overcompensates and takes everything onto his shoulders for this sole purpose of proving he’s worthy of staying.

Take the dodgeball match during Greed Island arc. There’s an interesting thing happening during the match that says a lot about Gon.

When Killua almost gets killed by Razor, it makes Gon’s blood boil. He’s furious and enraged that Razor dared try to hurt Killua. Because Killua has NOTHING to do with this. He’s only here because of Gon, and here he is, risking his life for him. Razor is putting Killua’s life in danger because of Gon. And that makes Gon go feral. 

But the most interesting line happens here :

“I have to crush him completely”

Gon completely shuts off Killua at this point. He says HE has to be the one to crush him completely. He’s taking this responsibility onto himself, he has to be the one to defeat Razor, it’s his role. His and no one else’s.

And to me, that’s another sign of overcompensation fueled by abandonment issues. Gon feels guilt at what just happened. Killua shouldn’t have to risk his life to hang out with Gon. He has nothing to do with this, he’s only here because he wants to, and it drives Gon mad that Razor is trying to hurt him when it has nothing to do with him.

So because he feels guilt, because him not being able to protect Killua fully is a sort of weakness, he overcompensates with strength and by wanting to handle everything alone.

He affirms that he will take the responsibility of winning against Razor. It’s his fault Killua almost got hurt, so he has to bear the consequences alone. He has to make things right, no matter the cost. He has to show strength. He has to prove his worth.

Because what if Killua left him because he wasn’t strong enough?

I think this situation illustrates pretty well Gon’s trauma-fueled thought process :

• “It’s my fault this is happening because I’m too weak” (sparked by his twisted self-worth due to his abandonment issues)

• “So I have to bear the consequences alone” (to prove his worth as to not be abandoned again)

• “I won’t back down under any circumstance because my life has no value” (because of his lack of self-worth once again)

And this pattern is found in any situation in the manga. When Gon lets Kon scratch his arm until he bleeds to keep Kite from killing him, he’s doing it because it’s his fault Kon’s mom had to die. When Gon refuses to back down from Hanzo’s fight as he keeps breaking multiple parts of his body, he’s doing it because he believes that if he’s weak and backs down he won’t be worth seeing Ging. When Razor almost kills Killua, Gon flips out and emphasizes that he has to crush Razor because it’s his fault Killua is here and he won’t back down on kicking Razor’s ass.  And that’s why when Kite dies and Gon sees his mangled body, he tells Killua “I’m taking on that one (Pitou) alone” : because Kite got hurt because of his weakness, Gon has to make amends in any way possible.

That’s why Gon hurts himself, that’s why he’s constantly putting everything on his shoulders : he has no value over his own life. He’s focused on proving he’s worth something at any cost.

And those escalating feelings of insecurity and this behavioral pattern are exactly why Gon broke down during Chimera Ant Arc. Because everything that was piling up went crumbling down when he saw Kite’s arm being cut off. Because he was weak for an instant.

It was his fault. It was his fault, because he was weak, because he couldn’t defend Kite, because even though Kite had just lost a limb, he was still stronger than both Gon and Killua combined. If he had just trained harder, if he had put his life on the line more, if he pushed himself past his limit, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. It was his fault. 

At that precise moment when Kite’s arm got severed, every single insecurity that Gon had from the beginning of this manga is flooding in. Gon feels weak, he feels guilt, he feels like all of this is his fault. He feels like he wasn’t enough.

And because it’s his fault, he has to take everything on his shoulders. He has to be the one to bear the weight of his mistake alone. He has to be the one to carry the burden. Just like that dodgeball match.

Because he just lost everything. He showed weakness once, and everything crumbled. He had just gotten his dad’s student hurt, and that weakness meant that he also just lost his goal of finding Ging. Because now that he showed a hint of weakness, Ging would never want to see him. Gon had just lost everything. His mentor, his goal, and his weakness might drive Killua away too. 

That’s why he put everything on his shoulder and vowed to make things right. Because he wanted to prove to himself, to Ging, to Kite, and more importantly to Killua that he could do this alone. That he wasn’t a failure. That he wasn’t weak. That he was worthy of staying. 

That’s why when he sees Kite’s mangled body, he tells Killua that he’s taking onto Pitou alone. Because it’s his responsibility. He has to make things right. It was his fault for being weak. It’s his fault Kite got hurt.

And at that moment, Gon probably already knew that he wouldn’t stop at any cost. Because it was a quest to assuage his guilt. It was a quest to make things right and prove that he wasn’t weak, that he could fix things, that he was still worthy of Kite and Ging and Killua. That he wasn’t a failure. So he pushed past his limit. Took everything onto his shoulders. Pushed Killua away, because it has nothing to do with him. It’s his own mistake, not Killua’s. 

Him going after Pitou is his attempt at redemption, a plea for help. A plea for someone to realize his worth. A plea to not be abandoned again.

And that’s why Gon is not a monster. He’s just a terrified child. 

During Chimera Ant Arc, he’s bottling up his feelings of inadequacy and guilt just so he could attempt to fix the mess he created, attempting to carry everything on his shoulders alone, because he can’t afford to drag anyone else into his mess, especially not Killua.

Gon is not a monster for pushing Killua away. It is not a sign of him being unhinged or manipulative. It’s an act of protection. An act of love, his way of saying “This is my mess and I have to fix this, I can’t let you get hurt for my sake.”. It’s the desperate attempt of a broken 12 year old to try and make things right.

Gon is not a monster because he threatened Komugi. It was a desperate attempt at regaining a sense of control on the situation. 

Because Gon’s morality has always been weird, it broke him to see Pitou heal Komugi. He couldn’t comprehend why something he categorized as evil was doing something as pure as healing. Just like that time during York New Arc ! Gon couldn’t understand why Chrollo was mourning the death of one of his members when he showed no remorse relentlessly killing innocent people. This inability to understand that bad people can do good things already broke Gon during YN arc, and it happened again during Chimera Ant Arc. 

He had nowhere to put his anger. All this time, he created this mental picture of Pitou in his head, this one where they’re an evil, evil villain who could never do anything good, he classified them as bad and that was that. But faced with them performing a pure act of healing, it broke Gon. He had no outlet for his anger.

So he did what a 12 year old with a broken sense of worth and a need for validation would do : he overcompensated with even more anger.

In a desperate attempt at regaining a bit of control on the situation, his last resort was to threaten an innocent life. To take her hostage. 

Because if he couldn’t make things right, he’d just lost everything. No matter the cost. No matter what happens. He had to do this. He had to ease his guilt.

Gon is not a monster because he sacrificed his life. He’s not a monster because he turned into an adult version of himself. He’s not a monster because he bashed Pitou’s skull in until it was mush. It was the actions of a broken boy who had nothing left. Who had just lost everything. Because Kite wasn’t hurt, he was DEAD. He was dead by his fault, it was his fault. He had nothing else to live for, because he was weak and lost everything. 

So he decided to kill himself to take down Pitou. Because he didn’t deserve to live. And this “fight” with Pitou wasn’t even to avenge Kite’s death. It was an attempt to ease his guilt. To feel a little better, because he might’ve lost everything, but at least he took down Pitou with him. 

I’m not condemning Gon’s actions or excusing them. At all. He made mistakes, and committed actions that are hard to excuse. But it was out of despair. It came out of years of pent up trauma and insecurities. His actions were a cry for help.

Gon didn’t “snap” out of nowhere. He always felt weak and insecure, he always had a broken sense of self-worth that led him to be self-destructive and overcompensate by taking everything onto his shoulders.

Chimera Ant Arc just pushed him past his limit. But this darkness, this plea for help, this trauma was always there in Gon’s heart. But it doesn’t mean he’s crazy. He’s just a child with abandonment issues and deep trauma.

To summarize, Ging’s physical and emotional abandonment left Gon with deep wounds that reflected in his behavior. Gon feels weak and insecure, he has no self-worth and a deep need to prove his value which leads him to constantly exhibit self-destructive behavior for the sole purpose of living up to his dad’s expectations and proving his worth. 

Gon feels the need to prove his worth and handle everything alone in an attempt to appear strong, and this unhealthy standards he puts onto himself and that Ging’s behavior enables are what ultimately led to his breakdown.

Because when Kite’s arm flew off, so did Gon’s entire reason to exist. 

He blamed himself for it, cursed his weakness and desperately attempted to make things right no matter the cost. Even if it meant death. Because death is better than being weak. Death is better than the guilt of having let his mentor down. Death is better than being rejected by his dad for his mistake. Death is better than being abandoned by his best friend.

And this deep, suffocating agony is what led Gon to act the way he did during Chimera Ant Arc.

It wasn’t the acts of a crazy, psychopathic monster. It was the act of a kid, desperately pleading for help.

But this breakdown was a good thing. No, really, it was. It was necessary.

Chimera Ant Arc was written to break down Gon to his core, to break his character in the worst possible way to annihilate the toxic traits he had.

His stubbornness, fear of weakness and self-destructive behavior were always going to break him in the end. But now that he knows what happens when you let all of this take over, it won’t happen again.

Gon is back to square one. Clean start, new beginning. Back to Whale Island with no nen, no goal, and with his best friend gone. 

And while some people might see this as depressing, or a sign that Gon didn’t change at all during the manga, it’s actually the exact opposite. It represents a second chance.

It’s the purest form of second chance he can get. He’s back to zero, and he has a blank canvas to be able to fix every wrong he made in the past.

With no nen, he now has the opportunity to learn it the proper way, taking his time to enjoy the process, learning it for pure purposes and not rushing to get stronger for the sole purpose of proving his worth.

With no goal, he’s free to find something that he wants to do for himself, not live in Ging’s shadow. He gets to be who he wants to be, with no unhealthy expectations.

With Killua gone, he gets to reflect on their relationship. He gets to realize the wrongs he’s made, the what-ifs and lost opportunities, he gets to realize how much Killua means to him. 

This second chance is not a curse, it’s a blessing. Because it’s exactly what Gon needed to be able to heal. 

And I’m willing to bet that this will be Gon’s final character arc : healing. We’ll get to see Gon act in ways that highlight how much he’s changed, showcasing his growth. When he was stubborn, hot-headed and impulsive, he’ll have learned to be more calm and composed. When he was always looking to prove his worth and look for strength, he’ll have learned that his true value lies in who he is and in the little detours of his travels. 

He’ll be more calm, won’t put himself in danger for the sake of being stronger, he won’t drag Killua in impossible situations where he has to clean up the mess. He won’t hurt his arm, which was the physical representation of his trauma. He’ll have grown.

Because that’s what HxH is ultimately about. Togashi is all about deconstructing and reconstructing his characters to show growth and healing from trauma. To show that tragedy happens, but at the end of the day, you can overcome your worst traits. At the end of the day, you can become a better person, no matter what.

EDIT : I actually wrote a post on how I believe Gon’s next character arc was foreshadowed here.

Thank you for reading this ! I hope it was all clear and that I expressed my thoughts correctly, without mischaracterizing Gon.

Full disclaimer that I am NOT a psychologist and I’m not attempting to diagnose Gon, I’m just linking the signs of emotional trauma due to abandonment issues to his character in an attempt to explain his actions.

Please feel free to give me your thoughts or criticism ! 

References : 

• “Understanding the pain of abandonment” 

• “How to overcome abandonment issues from childhood”

Those two articles are the foundation of my meta. They’re extremely interesting articles that show all the signs of abandonment on a child’s behavior, and it showcases the consequences of both emotional and physical abandonment on their self-worth. 

• “Fear of vulnerability and learning to trust again”

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