#renjun huang

[taexoxosgf]

If ur requests are open can i request a renjun smut??

i'm so mad i couldn't find some fics on my old recs smh

full fic + smut

Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life! [ love app au ]

Wrong for you [ friends to lovers ]

high waisted shorts [ strangers to lovers au ]

Huang renjun and the MUGGLEBORN [ pureblood ravenclaw!renjun + muggleborn ravenclaw!y/n ]

One Foot in the Golden Life [ rich kid!renjun x caddie!reader ]

love station [ strangers to roommates to friends to lovers ]

smut

quiet down [ bodyswap-ish AU, sex shop worker reader ]

not the same [ crush!renjun x fem!reader ]

dirty laundry [ roommate renjun x fem!reader ]

paint me naked [ Painter! Renjun x Muse! Reader ]

DON'T FUCK YOUR ROOMMATE [ roommate renjun x fem!reader ]

handle me [ customer!renjun x stripper!reader ]

KINKTOBER DAY 26 — COCKWARMING [ renjun x fem!reader ]

To taste the forbidden fruit [ friends to lovers ]

bad habits [ established relationship ]

in a king-size, say i’m your queen [ prince!renjun ]

untitled [ renjun x fem!reader ]

backstage [ idol!renjun x idol!reader ]

all i ever wanted [ friends to lovers ]

meet me on the rooftop [ idol!renjun x staff member!reader ]

kinktober day 01 [ established relationship, Capnolagnia ]

stolen [ store detective!renjun x shoplifter!reader ]

[nanazluvs]

THE markren selca pose

[yeoosaangg]

Jealousy || Kinktober - Day 20

pairing ▸ huang renjun × f!reader

now playing ▸ jealousy - always never

⤷ ❝addicted to this jealousy, the fire in my heart is everything.❞

genre ▸ non-idol au, established relationship, smut

warnings ▸ edging, degradation, spanking, restraints, slapping, rough pegging, praise, mommy kink

--------

It's a dangerous game Renjun is playing.

He knows you're watching from across the dance floor. That's exactly what he wants.

You curl your fingers around a glass of bourbon, chugging the drink as you watch how the woman in front of him drags her nails across his chest.

He leans into the touch, waiting for you to do something, anything, but you don't.

Instead, you simply turn around and ignore his presence altogether. The worst form of punishment you can give a bratty sub is no punishment at all.

Renjun loves getting punished, so you'd rather not give him what he wants. Especially not when he's purposely provoking your jealousy.

So you order another drink, chugging that one as well.

Renjun frowns when he glances at you. He doesn't like being ignored. So he takes the woman's hand and guides her to the area of the dance floor right next to you.

She grazes her fingers around his neck, chest against his along to the beat of the music.

You still don't turn around.

So Renjun huffs, turning the woman around so he can grind against her ass. This was too dangerous, even for him, but he doesn't care.

He will get a reaction out of you.

The woman moans loud, catching your attention. You turn around in curiosity only for your skin to burn in rage. He knows ths right buttons to push.

But all you do is snicker and take another sip as Renjun practically fucks the whore in front of you.

You know he doesn't like it. He'd rather be in her position, against your chest while you sneak your hands down the waistband of his pants.

You call the bartender over and ask for your tab to pay; you thank him.

So many drinks and half of them belong to your lovely boyfriend. You get up, leaving the club without looking back at him.

Renjun panics and abandons the woman in the middle of her desperate humping. He chases after you, watching you get into an Uber.

He quickly catches up to you, getting in without a word.

You hide your smirk knowing he'd run after you. He always does. But the way he has his hands folded against his lap tells you he's anticipating something to happen once you get home.

And when the door closes, he expects you to slam him against the door, squeezing his neck with an angry look in your eye.

But you don't.

You just walk to your shared bedroom and grab clothes to shower. He's a pouting and frustrated mess while listening to the water run from outside the door.

You locked it so he wouldn't join you - you two always shower together.

And when you get out of the shower, already dressed, he's crying. He tries to touch you, but you swat his hands away. This was the first time you acknowledge him all night.

He takes the rejection hard and starts shaking, slipping further into sub space than normal. You've never rejected him before.

Renjun: Mommy, please talk to me.

Silence.

He hates it.

Renjun: I need you so bad, Mommy. Wanna feel you.

Still nothing.

It wasn't until he curls into a ball and harsh sobs sneak passed his lips that he feels your fingers run through his hair.

He preens at your touch, sniffling to hopefully calm his embarrassing crying down.

Y/n: And what lesson have you learned today?

Renjun: Not take things too far.

Y/n: And?

Renjun: Dunno.

You hum, removing your hand from his hair. He whines, chasing after your touch. His cheek rests on your thigh, pressing a small kiss at your skin.

You go back to giving him head pats. He melts, adjusting his body so his crotch meets your leg.

He looks so helpless while humping against you, so you begin to laugh.

Y/n: Aww, poor baby.

He cries again at your faux sympathy and condescending attitude that makes him feel so small and stupid.

You just had to rub it in further.

Renjun: Mommy, please forgive me.

Y/n: I thought you loved me.

He panics, halting his movements to look up at you properly.

His heart drops seeing tears forming in your eyes - you never cry around him.

Renjun: I do love you! You're the only one for me, Mommy. Promise.

Y/n: Didn't feel like it. You seemed happier with that whore.

He shakes his head so hard, he almost gets whiplash.

Renjun: She didn't even get me hard, Mommy. Only you can do that.

You know that, you're just messing with him. It's so easy to get him to beg for your forgiveness like this. It's also fun to watch his face scrunch up with guilt.

He's just so adorable.

Renjun: Are you jealous?

Y/n: So what if I'm jealous? You're my boyfriend.

Renjun: I'm sorry for hurting you.

You can't even hold back your laughter anymore. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as you hold your stomach.

Y/n: God, you're so easy. My pathetic little baby.

It gives him hope that you called him yours, even if it's to degrade him.

Renjun: I don't like when you ignore me, Mommy.

Y/n: Yeah? Then you should think about that when you cross a fucking line with me. It's one thing to let a bitch touch you, but it's completely disrespectful when you're the one humping her.

He frowns, climbing onto your lap and wraps his arms around your neck. He plants small kisses all over your face until he feels you relax.

Renjun: I'll ask you next time I want you to be rough with me. I won't do that to you again.

Y/n: Good boy.

He finally smiles, brightening up the room even though tears still fill his eyes.

Renjun: Can you funish me now? Humping your leg made me even more horny for you.

You laugh and rub your hands up amd down his back in adoration.

Y/n: The "no punishment" punishment was that bad, huh?

Renjun: S'Horrible. I sat here very frustrated because my plan didn't work. You were in the shower and ignoring how horny I was, still am, and all I got was head pats.

Y/n: But you love head pats!

Renjun: But I want you to fuck me, Mommy. So bad.

Y/n: Why don't you beg for it?

He whines, hiding his face in your neck. He hates begging when his dick is being compressed in his jeans, so painful and sticky.

Renjun: Mommy, please. Need you to fuck me.

Y/n: Tell me how much you love me.

Renjun: So much! Want to marry you one day.

Y/n: Yeah?

He nods, sucking some bruises on your neck. He nibbles on your skin, teeth grazing your vein. He knows you love that.

Renjun: Want kids with you some day.

Y/n: Is that so?

You start guiding his hips so he can grind down on you. He lets out a moan so loud, you laugh again.

Y/n: Such a needy little boy. Why don't you take your clothes off while I do the same, hm?

He climbs off and eagerly gets naked. You swiftly take your shirt off with one hand and expose your breasts. He moans just looking at you.

You pull your shorts off and wait for him to settle down on your lap again.

Y/n: Turn over, baby.

He's confused to what you mean, so you flip him over, laid across your lap with his ass in the air.

Oh.

Renjun: M-Mommy?

Y/n: Thought you wanted this, hm?

Renjun: Well, I did, but-

Y/n: Then shut the fuck up and take it like the good bitch you are.

He moans when your hand smacks down on his left ass cheek.

Renjun: O-One.

You smack him again, with more force this time. He yelps, falling forward and arching his back even more than he already was.

Y/n: I was so mad when I saw you grinding against that bitch. Wanted to strangle her.

Renjun: Two.

You hit him again, earning another moan.

Renjun: Three.

Y/n: I hate it when they look at you, let alone touch you. So fucking much. You know you're mine, don't you?

You spank him again and again and again.

You don't even let him count anymore with how angry you're getting yourself again.

Renjun: Mommy, hurts!

Y/n: I asked a fucking question.

Renjun: I'm yours! Mommy's the only one for me!

Y/n: That's right. Only I can make you feel like this.

He lets out the most lewd moan you've ever heard from him when your thigh brushes against the tip of his leaking cock.

Y/n: Get up.

He watches you grab his special box. He almost broke another rule by touching himself in excitement, but he held back.

Y/n: Lay down.

He complies, spreading his body on your shared bed.

You take two leather cuffs and strap his legs against the wood. You use rope to tie him onto the headboard.

He gasps when you grab the vibrating cock ring, sliding it down his shaft to the base of his already hard dick. He squirms when you turn it on.

Y/n: You were a very bad boy, tonight. Made Mommy angry.

Renjun: I'm sorry! So, very sorry!

Y/n: Too late for apologies. Don't you think?

He whines, crying from the climbing intensity of the toy.

He's got his eyes screwed shut, not paying attention to you hooking on your strap. The one with the biggest dildo attached to it.

You grab the lube before climbing over him. He opens his eyes and screams.

Renjun: Too big! Won't fit.

Y/n: I'll make it fit.

He squeals when you cover his ass in lube. You prod his hole with your middle finger, slowly pushing it inside.

Your boyfriend's eyes roll to the back of his head. Not only are you pumping your finger in him, but the cock ring was making it impossible to hold back.

Renjun: Gonna cum.

You smirk, turning off the toy and halting your movements. He cries in confusion, trying to move against your fingers. His stomach hurts as the feeling goes away.

Renjun: Why'd you stop, Mommy?

Y/n: Don't be greedy, slut. This is still a punishment.

Tears stream down his face as you hold his hips in place. This was evil, too mean.

Renjun: Wanna cum. Please let me cum.

Y/n: No.

Now he realizes why you tied him up. It was so he wouldn't stop you from edging him.

Renjun: Stop being mean, Mommy. I said sorry lots of times.

Y/n: And yet, you still had the audacity to give another bitch a feel of my fucking cock.

He throws a tantrum, pulling at his restraints in protest. It wasn't until he felt pain against his cheek that his body goes limp.

Y/n: You're still being a very bad boy. Guess I'm gonna have to keep your punishment going.

You shove two more fingers in him, causing him to choke on his moans.

Renjun: Wait, Mommy, I'm sorry!

You turn the cock ring on, immediately going to the highest setting and watch Renjun fall apart.

You open and close your fingers inside him while the cock ring stimulates his pre-cum covered dick.

He screams when your fingers brush against his prostate, bringing him closer to another orgasm.

This time, he doesn't warn you about it. But you know he is close when he clenches around your fingers.

So you turn the toy off again and pull your fingers away from him.

Renjun: Mommy, no! Wanted to cum!

Y/n: Only good boys get to cum.

He pulls on the ropes again, but it's no use.

They won't break.

Renjun: I'm so sorry! I swear I'll be a good boy!

You hum, hovering over him as the tip of the dildo glides against his welcoming hole. He desperately wants you to fuck him senseless.

Y/n: Are you sure you deserve it?

Renjun: Yes! Please, please, please! I'll be so good for you, Mommy.

Y/n: Well then. Let's see if you've earned it.

You slowly slide the dildo into him. He screams at the huge stretch, not used to this size at all. It was thicker than the other ones, too.

Renjun: Too much!

Y/n: It's not even halfway in, baby.

That makes it worse. He's already this destroyed over the thickness, what more can it do?

It wasn't until it was completely inside does he feel just how full he is. He can practically feel it in his guts, so he presses lightly against the lower part of his abdomen and moans.

Y/n: Feel that?

He nods, a glazed look in his eye.

He relaxes against the mattress, a sign that you can move now.

You thrust slow, yet deep inside him. You kiss him, tongue exploring his mouth for the millionth time. You can never get enough of him.

You pound into him, turning on the ring again.

That seems to bring him back to reality with a loud and pitched moan. He can only grip onto the ropes as you break him open.

He's a desperate mess as you edge him a few more times. He's in so much pain and distress, that he'll do anything to get to cum.

Even beg.

Renjun: Mommy, can I please cum? It hurts so much. Wanna show you how good you make me feel. I'll be a good boy from now on, no making Mommy mad. Just please let me cum.

And how could you say no to that?

Well, it's pretty easy, but he's suffered enough for now.

Y/n: Make a mess for me, prince.

He coats the ring and his stomach in a lot of white slick. He cries in relief at finally being able to release. You've never denied him an orgasm before, so he'll remember to never piss you off again.

This was torture.

Y/n: Look at that. You made a mess of yourself!

The cock ring stays on, overstimulating the poor boy.

His toes curl, arching his back into you as you continue to abuse his tiny hole with the big dildo. It's too much, seeing as Renjun's cumming again so easily.

You slow your pace, eventually coming to a stop. You pull out, loving the way Renjun moans at the empty feelng and clenches around nothing.

Renjun: I love you so much, Mommy.

You smile and give him a peck on the lips.

Y/n: I love you, too. You okay?

He nods, eyes fluttering from exhaustion.

Y/n: Mommy didn't get to cum, yet.

Renjun: Can I watch you cum?

Y/n: Of course, baby.

You take the strap off, and sit on his chest. He excitedly watches you slide your fingers up and down your own folds near his mouth.

You finger yourself until you squirt all over him.

Renjun: Wanna taste.

You give him what he wants and pull his head against your dripping cunt. His tongue works wonders in cleaning you up, even giving you a second orgasm.

Y/n: Such a good boy. Helping Mommy cum.

He smiles against your clit, lapping his tongue up and down until you pull away again.

He remove the toy and his restraints, carrying him to the bathroom and give him a nice and relaxing bath.

He was a giggling mess as you massage his scalp.

Renjun: Can we cuddle before bed?

Y/n: Yes we can, baby. Anything for you.

---

a/n: i need to stop bestie from giving me ideas on twt (never calling it x, ew) they feed the delusions everyday!!! enough!!! anyways, thanks for reading ‹𝟹

[anna-357]

Renjun fic recs

My favorite Renjun fics

portrait of a blank slate. huang renjun

college au. fluff, smut, and the tiniest bit of angst

Perfect present

it’s your boyfriend’s first birthday with you. too bad he’s too stubborn to tell you what he wants, leaving you to take matters into your own hands. still, you’re certain the little blue set you have at the back of your closet will be just the perfect present for him.

Bad Habits

Your boyfriend Renjun offered to blow dry your wet hair, what could go wrong?

blondes are done with fun

a rumor has it that the popular couple in town broke up after years of being together. having to share your favorite seat in class with the male part of said relationship, you try to find out how to make your heartbroken project partner warm up to you— or— huang renjun goes blonde when he's sad.

Lip tint

reader being whipped for Renjun, kissing, making out, slight hair pulling

Best friend over gel pens

your beauty marks indicate where your soulmate in your past life liked kissing you the most—and also, for some reason, renjun has a habit of pressing his lips to your hands.

Art of Innocence

Art and gaming. That’s all Renjun found himself doing. Of course he spent time with his friends, but he had to be dragged away from his games console or easel first. Renjun had been brought up around art, his mother being an artist and his father being a drama teacher. So it wasn’t a shock to anyone when he decided to study art at university. His quiet, shy, nerdy nature meant that he didn’t get much attention when walking around campus, which is just how he liked it. You however, had found him on your first day of university and had stuck to him like glue. He pretended as if you didn’t mean that much to him, but you and him both knew he would be lost without you. Only, you didn’t know he was a virgin. So after you found out about the pact from one of the other boys, you couldn’t wait to intercept his gaming session and quiz him on his innocence. You couldn’t help it, but you suddenly saw him in a different light, one that had your fingers tingling and stomach flipping. The same way Renjun had felt looking at you since the first day he’d met you.

We met in online class- 10 parts

You’ve been crushing on art major, Huang Renjun and you somehow find yourself asking him out in front of all your classmates. He doesn’t like you back; but it would be awful to turn you down in front of everyone… right?

[renjunplanet]

n sei q tipo de pedido vc espera mas pensando mt num renjun com ciumes

[22:37] w/renjun

atenção. escrevi e reescrevi tantas vezes que no final saiu algo bem gay baitola boiola, tem muitas palavras no diminutivo e um injun manhoso

huang, que estava sentado no sofá de braços cruzados, apenas desviou o olhar para a televisão. fingiu assistir o programa de televisão aleatório que passava só para te ignorar de propósito.

— sério, renjun? vai mudar essa carranca ou tá difícil?

sem resposta.

e o motivo dessa estranheza toda? com certeza foi te ver conversando com jeno a noite toda sem dar atenção para ele.

renjun nunca foi do tipo de demonstrar chateação e tampouco ciúmes no relacionamento, mas não quer dizer que não sentia. hoje por exemplo, após voltarem do apartamento de chenle, ele ficou totalmente estranho do nada.

— quer saber, foda-se. se tu quer continuar com essa birra toda, que tu continue sozinho porque eu cansei. — jogou as mãos para o ar em redenção e foi em direção ao banheiro. estava cansada do dia exaustivo, havia trabalhado a tarde inteira com papeladas, além de ter passado a manhã toda na faculdade. de combo, tinha esquecido do convite dos amigos então logo após o trabalho teve que se arrumar correndo para se encontrar com eles.

claramente não queria ganhar mais um bônus nesse dia corrido e sabia que discutir com renjun não levaria a nada além de uma briga desnecessária.

tomou seu banho e foi para o quarto, encontrando o namorado na cama com uma carinha triste e arrependida. facilmente teve seu coração amolecido e se rendeu a conversa que antes queria evitar.

— você vai falar comigo agora, injun? — perguntou ao se deitar ao lado dele. recebeu um aceno com a cabeça e um abraço tímido como resposta.

— me desculpa... — ele disse baixinho, com o rostinho sob seus seios e um biquinho nos lábios.

— ah, amor... me conta o que aconteceu... — você levou os dedos aos fios macios, fazendo um cafuné gostosinho no namorado que te apertou ainda mais no abraço.

— me perdoa, por favor. eu sei que fui infantil, mas é que... — ele suspirou tenso, fechando os olhos com firmeza tentando não se chatear com o ocorrido de mais cedo.

— mas é que?... — instiga renjun a te responder.

— mas é que eu não gostei nenhum pouquinho de te ver de brincadeirinha com o jeno...

— hã?

— você e ele passaram a noite toda conversando e trocando risinhos um com o outro, não gostei nenhum pouco de ver ele de sorrisinhos pra minha namorada. — disse enquanto fazia carinho em sua cintura, com a carranca de mais cedo voltando de novo.

— é sério isso? — você suspirou cansada, soltando um riso fraco.

— é sério. — renjun se levanta e fica de frente para seu rosto — você ficou o dia todo ocupada, mal teve tempo pra mim, dai quando a gente finalmente tem um descanso e um tempinho de lazer pra ficar entre a gente e nossos amigos você preferiu ficar maior parte dele junto com o jeno e os olhinhos sorridentes dele...

— nossa... sinceramente... eu nunca pensei que teria esse tipo de conversa com você, jun. — você riu, achando graça do rostinho do namorado.

— eu tava com saudades... e me senti deslocado... perdão, amor. — renjun diz envergonhado, voltando a te abraçar, dessa vez com o rosto escondido entre seu pescoço e ombro.

— tá tudo bem, bobinho. só não faz mais esse tipo de coisa, quando isso te chatear fala comigo, tá legal? — você segura a carinha dele e faz um carinho nas bochechinhas.

— tá...

seus lábios vão de encontro com os do namorado, num selinho gostoso de boa noite.

— me desculpa de novo...

— tá tudo bem, agora vamos dormir!

— tá bom — ele ri.

[technologyculturedneo]

Inhale, Exhale & Die. Huang Renjun

"You're the meaning of warm hands. Your hugs make me feel like we just met."

Pairing. Unknown!Renjun x Student!Reader ft Jeno

Synopsis. You get a message from an unknown number asking you why they shouldn't kill themselves. Thinking it's a prank, you go along with it until you realize that it's not a prank and that any minute the person behind the unknown number will jump off a building.

Genre. Angst. Strangers to lovers.

Wc. 4k

Your phone pings once, but it's enough to cause you to growl while getting your head out of the blanket as you check your phone for the fifth time. Your ex boyfriend Jeno has been trying to call you in hopes of reconciling with you. You get ready to give him a piece of your mind through a text- whoever your eyes squint when looking at the unfamiliar contact.

Unknown: Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill myself

You roll your eyes and lay back on your bed checking the time seeing that it's 6.49 am. Is someone really trying to pull your leg at this time?

You: What the hell?

Who is this?

Unknown: Thank you for responding.

You: Okay what's going on and how the fuck did you get my number?

Unknown: You don't know me.

I just messaged a bunch of random numbers and you're the first to respond. Thank you.

You: I don't understand.

Why would you do that?

Unknown: Well I wanted to see who would respond to this

The eerie vibe that fills the atmosphere of your room has you sitting up on your bed and lightly pulling the curtains back. Squinting at the light, you kneel on your bed and look out the window trying to catch any familiar face from the little crowd of students heading to their early morning classes. When you don't see anyone you know, you sit on your bed about to close the curtain and ignore the message- however your eyes catch on to something stranger.

Far into the distance, by the male dormitory building you see a figure of a person pacing on the highest roof. You instantly close the curtain, calmly laying on your bed, trying not to get worried or disturbed.

"This has to be a prank." You mutter and cautiously type on the screen of your phone after not getting a message from the person.

You: Who are you?

In a heartbeat you see the person reading and then typing out.

Unknown: A stranger. A total stranger

You: Are you…really gonna kill yourself?

You don't want to anticipate the answer but as the bubbles continuously progress on your screen, you can't help but feel worried. This prank isn't funny and whoever decided to mess with you at 6 a.m. will surely get a piece of your mind.

Unknown: I'm standing on top of a building as we speak.

I've done the math. I jump. I die.

So yes. I am going to kill myself

This causes you to fly out your bed rapidly springing the curtains open- blazing the blinding light into your room. Checking on the roof where you saw a person, you can still make out the figure walking back and forth on the ledge. You quickly reply taping on your screen furiously while your jaws tremble. "Shit,"

You: Oh my soul please don't do this.

What building are you on?

Unknown: I really can't tell you.

You: Why can't you tell me?

You need help like right now!!!

Unknown: I can't tell you because you are the one that has to do it.

You: You're fucking crazy and delusional! Please don't do this. And what do you mean I'm the one who has to do it? To do what? I'm not fucking playing.

Unknown: save me

You: I'm calling the police. Do you think this is some sort of fucking movie?

Unknown: No. Definitely don't do that

If I see the police.

I'm jumping

You're jittery and agitated, finding it hard to breathe. "Fucking hell the police are better trained than I am." You type out your words.

You: But they are more trained then i am. They can help you

Unknown: And that's exactly the problem

You: What's the problem?

Unknown: If I'm going to be saved I need someone who isn't trained.

Somebody random who doesn't know me.

For a second, you're calm and take a seat on your bed when reading the message. You hold onto your head and gulp.

You: I .. I don't understand

Unknown: If someone like that, someone like you, can convince me to live. That would prove that this world is worth a second chance..well for me.

You: You're putting a lot of pressure on me.

Am I still the only one who responded?

Unknown: I know it's a lot of pressure.

And yes you are, well others have responded but stopped.

You're still the only one willing to go this far

You: Dude you're scaring me. Please tell me this is a joke.

Unknown: You don't have to do this you know.

You don't have to do anything

You: But... I don't want you to jump if this is serious

Unknown: You're already doing your best. I won't judge you or anything like that.

Maybe i want to die, maybe my life will be more miserable if I keep going

You: No. Don’t say that. Life can be miserable and it has it's moments where it's full of shit, but it’s not miserable all the time. Please listen to me

Unknown: I'll listen to everything you have to say. When you're done. I'm either walking down the steps...

or off the roof

You: I don't even know your name

Unknown: You shouldn't. I don't want this to be too real for you... I just want to see if someone can put the effort to try and save a total stranger

You: Don't you have family?

Unknown: I do. They're all dead though

Mum, dad and brother. Car crash.

You: Oh.. I'm sorry

Unknown: It's okay...i must be taking up your time. Thank you.

You: No! You're not taking up my time.

I’m free. I’m here.

Please let me try to save you

Unknown: Okay

You inhale and exhale before laying on your bed trying to relax and calm yourself, preparing for what you'd say to this total stranger. This could still be a prank and that the person on the roof might not be the person you're talking to. Nonetheless, you open your eyes and your fingers begin typing.

You: do you think your family would've been happy if you just left like this?

Unknown: Maybe....I actually don't know

Because they're also dead, I don't think they'd be too upset

You: Don't you at least want to honor them?

Unknown: Honor them with what? The fact that I'm on this building right now should tell you that my life isn't going too well.

I would just probably disappoint them if I carried on living...again

"This has to be a prank," You shake your head.

You: You seem calm though. Calm enough to be sarcastic

Unknown: Maybe that's because I've already accepted it. I've accepted what's already going to happen

You: No! Don't say that. Don't say it like it will happen.

It won't happen.

I'm here, give me a chance....okay let's start with the basis.

Why do you want to do this? Jump off a building

Unknown: Don't have a gun. There's no way I'm drowning myself in the bathtub. Pills- will make it all go too slow.

So I figured this was the best way

You: You could regret this decision the moment you jump off

Unknown: At least it will be short lived

You: What even made you think of suicide?

Unknown: All the family I want to see, I'll never see again

Every hand I want to hold, I'll never hold again

Everything I want to be.. I can't

Except dead... I can be dead.

You: Don't say that

Unknown: I'm probably wasting your time.. this was a last resort anyway

You: No. I don't want to be responsible

It's the fact that you can't tell whether the person behind the phone is laughing at this sick twisted joke or really indecisive about jumping off a building. What's worse is that you can't even read the emotion the person is typing with- are they being serious? sincere? genuine to having this conversation...or is this all a joke? This could be one of your friends and the mere thought that they're considering suicide makes you itch with discomfort. Who is this person?

Your ears are alert when hearing a ping on your phone.

Unknown: If the only reason you're trying to convince me to live because you feel responsible then just stop.. it's getting to real for you

I already wrote a note, nobody is at home. Right now is a good time. It's early in the morning. My body will probably be disposed off before many see it.

And it's not your fault

You: Look.. I want to save you but I don't even know you

What could I say that could change your mind

Unknown: If I knew what you would say, would I really need you to say it?

Anyway... you did your best

Somebody's going to notice me up here

You: Why are you doing this?

Unknown: You've already asked that and I think me saying it over and over again won't calm my heart

You: No I mean.. you're still chatting with me...meaning you're giving yourself a chance to live

The fact that you messaged those numbers means that you have doubts about this

And that you never wanted it to end like this...

And your family wouldn't want you to go like this. And you just have me really worried...please don't do this. Please

You: ..... Are you still there...

You: Oh my god!!

You: Hello?

You sit up on your bed in haste. Your heart beating exceedingly fast in your chest. Your screen turns black just in time for you to watch your reflection as a tear falls down your eye. “No, please no.” You frantically type out on your phone.

At first you thought it was a joke, you played along with the unknown number. And then you looked out your window and saw that far into the distance on one of the dormitory buildings, there was someone standing on the top.

The thought of it being a real scenario and that someone could jump off any moment- scares the hell out of you.

You: At least… At least tell me your name, if there’s nothing I can say that’ll convince you…Your name can always live in my memory, as someone who lived as best as he could…and didn’t disappoint his family…and was caring…he messaged everyone and never blamed anyone but himself…he didn’t deserve the world, he was too good for it and the world hurt him. He was loved, and will forever be in our hearts

Just tell me your name…please

You wait for a really long time, your eyes glued to the screen as your finger refreshes the screen every time. Until finally something pops up.

Unknown: It's Renjun…Thanks for trying

Your eyes peek out your window to the building, and when you don’t see the said figure of the person called ‘Renjun’ you jump off your bed in nothing but shorts and a vest and dash out your room running as fast as you can. Running and never stopping.

You run to the building where you last saw him.

Your heart is exploding out of your chest by the time you reach the bottom floor. You expect a mass number of students to surround the scene, yet when there’s nobody around you - you look around, for anyone who looks suicidal.

But, being in college, everyone looks that way. You enter the male dormitory building as a visitor (and judging by the look the security gives you, he probably thinks you're here for your ex...otherwise why else would you be here?) and use the elevator until you reach the top floor. You jog up the flight of stairs before bursting through the blocked doors of the terrace.

Having your phone in your hand you type away a message and look around with your heart beating so loud in your chest.

You: I’m here

I’m here for you

I won’t question you or anything like that

I just want to sit with you…give you a hug maybe.

3 days’ after

Usually the canteen is packed on all hours of the day, as the food never failed to impress. However, this afternoon there are so many open seats and empty tables. It could partly be because of the gloomy weather; not only is it cold, but the outside gradually gets darker, the colors of the sky clouded with clouds of grey, glistening rain and light thunder. People are either in their dorms or classes- but none the less, the canteen is still half empty, which is perfect to disclose news to your best friend of a rumor that started circulating around about you.

Luckily you finished all your classes for the day, leaving you with a free rainy afternoon and best friend who’s been dying to know what possessed you to run out your shared dorm with no slippers and to the male dormitory building. She just finished her last paper today, and you didn't want to bother her with this news three days ago.

“So are you going to tell me what had you running out like a baby prostitute at 7am in the morning?” Haze, your best friend questions. “People are saying you ran to the males’ dorm- barged in and went to fuck your ex,”

You roll your eyes following right behind her and then taking a seat next to her in a secluded area. “Well one, I did not go to Jeno. And two, why do people always assume the worst of me?”

“Because you’ve always got a temper,”

“It doesn’t mean I can’t be nice,”

“You? Nice? Keep dreaming,” She scoffs. “So did you go to males dorm yes or no?”

“I did go to the males’ dorm but it wasn't for Jeno. It.." You stop yourself and lean in to her slightly. "It was to…save a guy,”

“Save a guy?” She snorts. “From what? You can barely save your grades,”

“From committing a terrible mistake.” You whisper out ignoring her comment. “He was suicidal and wanted to jump-”

“Suicidal?!" Haze yells out drawing a few people's attention to your little secluded table.

You slap Haze’s arm telling her to be quiet. "Oops sorry. Do you know him?"

You shake your head. "No, but I did get his name. And on top of that I think he goes to our college because how else would he get my number? He just sent me an anonymous message and from there I got to know what I know. He asked why shouldn't he kill himself,”

"I would be freaked out as hell, if anybody messaged me with that," she says shaking her head. "Heck I wouldn't even reply, no matter how ‘nice’ I am. That’s just too much,"

"How twisted is that? You claim to be ‘nice’ but can’t even show it to someone who needs the world to be nice to them." You sadly smile thinking back to how Renjun finally revealed his name. "I've gotta find him though. Can you help? He didn’t jump today, but every day is a day to jump for someone who’s suicidal. "

Haze chuckles carrying on with her work as well as eating her food. "There are more than two thousand students on this campus, and you're asking me to find one? What is this? Nemo?"

You roll your eyes. "Haze I'm being serious. He needs me right now,"

"No love, you need to study, and focus, on your assignment. If he's really suicidal he'll go get proper help if he wants it. You already did you part, he didn't jump yesterday or today, he might do it next week if he wants, who knows,"

"How can you be so cold hearted? I just, well I think I saved him from doing the biggest mistake of his life, and you don't care?" Your heart pings at the thought of finally doing something good, but then being looked down upon for caring for someone.

“Get off your high horse and snap back into yourself. This isn’t who you are. Don’t go all soft for some random guy. You’ve got Jeno, the hottest guy on campus crushing over you and begging to get back with you. Have some sense.”

You stand up grabbing your bag by her stupid comment which makes you mad. "You know what, it’s whatever. I'll catch you in the dorm," She’s right anyway. Why be nice when you can get all the boys you want?

"Cool, bye," she says completely unfazed by your common anger rage of emotion slipping back. "And for the record, he probably made all that up just to see you bounce off bed half naked."

You roll your eyes heading out the canteen being immediately met with light drizzle from the rain. Smelling the uncanny scent of the rain about to begin, you try to walk faster to the female dorm building which is all the way across the university campus. The dribbles of rain dribbling on your skin don't help you calm down. You begin jogging past facility upon facility finally getting closer to your dorm building but you sigh upon seeing how the thick rain clouds gather together. A streak of lighting booms strongly in the gloomy grey clouds and you groan feeling the harsh drops fall - creating an exhausting rainstorm to thud hard on the campus.

"Are you kidding me!" You nearly slip already running as quick and fast as your skinny legs can carry you. Using your bag as an umbrella you try not to get wet, which by the way is very useless! You’re still getting soaked by the second. The dorm building is just a few more blocks away and you run steadily trying not to slip.

You get closer to the door yet you’re not fully prepared when you harshly bump into another running figure, completely knocking your bag down causing your files and assignment to fall out being spread on the wet concrete floor being ruined by the pouring rain.

"Are you kidding me!"

Your teeth clutch strongly thinking about all your assignments that are now on the floor. The guy is fast in apologizing and picking up his things that have also fallen. But you could care less about his things, only that your assignments are all due tomorrow.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” you groan furiously getting down on your knees trying to pick up your stuff, the other guy does the same trying to help while saying sorry. But you ignore him grabbing your stuff dashing to get shelter. You use your wet card to pass through the little electronic slot on the wall. The doors automatically open by themselves and you grasp on to everything from your wet papers to your hanging arm bag and identity card trying not to lose a single one.

The wet papers and folders in your hand drop to the floor immediately when you close the door behind you. A deep groan escapes your throat when they slip yet again. "Just great." You tightly say walking to the registration table signing your name in and walking away on the wooden floors up the stairs to your room with all your wet stuff.

"Just great."

*

"This isn't yours," Haze says reading the English paper in her hand. "But this person is definitely going to pass this-"

"You’ve gotta be shitting me?" You get up from your desk table dumping your ruler and pencil down walking over to Haze who's on your bed. You grab the paper from her hand and stare down at it. This can't be happening. You spent hours blow drying on these papers. "What do you mean this isn't mine? I have to hand this in tomorrow?!"

"You know I personally like it when you're in panic mode, but I hate you screaming in my ear. Geez. Just calm down-"

"How can I calm down? My notes and half my assignment is probably with some other wet guy!" You groan heading back to your desk. "I can’t restart this stupid paper. Do you know how hard it was? Ugh. I guess I'll have to restart everything- wait... this is actually better than my own," You read over the crooked handwriting seeing that it's not at all bad. "But I can't pass this off as my own work..." You think for a little bit but it’s hard as your brain is screaming for you to fuck it all and get some sleep. "Whatever screw plagiarism,"

There's a light knock on your door that hardly passes off as a knock. Haze gets up from your bed going over to the door opening it and speaking to whoever is there. Meanwhile you start rewriting on a new page completely focused- until Haze gasps, opening the door wider.

"Y/n,"

"What?" She doesn't respond so you turn around grumbling and standing up going to the door next to her with an irritated sigh.

“Someone’s here for you,”

“Who is there!” You grumpily complain. All you wanna do is finish your notes and go and sleep.

An awkward fluffy haired guy stands with his hand holding up cramped papers together, which you immediately recognize as your own assignment. You snatch the pages from his hand, startling him.

Haze frowns shaking her head going away, leaving you alone by the door with the guy.

“Thanks.” You fake a smile and roll your eyes forcefully closing the door before jolting when he harshly stabs his arm and leg in between the door! causing him to groan in pain. "Are you crazy?" You quickly open the door watching him bend in pain.

"You have my papers." He mummers after calming down from the excruciating pain. With a pained stricken face, he stands up again. "We bumped into each other this aft-"

"You think I don't remember?" You snap lifting up the papers he handed you. "The only difference is that my own papers look like this." You hold up the cramped papers showing him. "Barely readable with all this wetness and yours, which I had, are treated perfectly and can still be read from,"

"I'm sor-"

"Save it." You close your eyes ramming the door to a close.

"Hey, hey, hey, wait and hold that door," Haze pulls the door open, annoying you. She hands him his sheets of papers- the one you were copying from and you glare at her. "I believe these belong to you," she says.

"Thanks," The guy takes in his papers that you blow dried.

"No problem. And don't mind her behavior, she's passing that time of the month," Haze announces publicly. You flip your hair to the side and with murderous eyes you give her one short cold look before walking back in the room until you feel a hand hold onto your arm.

“Um hey,” His hand immediately retreats from your arm when you turn back with daggers blazing from your eyes.

“What!”

"Uh I'm really sorry for the whole incident but I got a chance to read your paper and if I'm being honest... it wasn't that good. I can help you if you need,"

"No I don't help-"

"Yes you do. Let's be honest if he leaves now you'll go back to biting my head off for no reason. I'm not obliged to proof read your work. He's freely volunteering. Take the offer," Haze says making a point.

You consider it for a while. Your sleep on the line. You really don't want to rewrite a paper in this state and you also don't want to fail it. After all, this is your last year in college, you cannot fail in your major. So much for doing last minute work.

Haze smiles heading back to your bed knowing you’re convinced.

You glance back at the guy, swallowing a whole lump down your throat. "You'll really help?" You ask.

He's quick in nodding his head looking more awake with a peek of a smile on his lips.

"It's due tomorrow so I don't know how we’re gonna do this." You stammer off.

"We could go down to the study hall and finish it there," he says willingly. "If you want of course,"

You keep watch of him and his demeanor to help you. "Like right now? You'd help me right now?" You question lifting your brow up. "If this is some sick joke you better stop now because I really hate that course and this would be cruel of you."

He lets out a nervous chuckle shaking his head. His smile is so meek and it lights up his face. Maybe you shouldn't have been so mean to him. "You're so kind and nice." You mutter skeptically. "Shall we go now?"

"I really don't get this. How can I make this error of Concord sound correct?" You sigh into your hands already so tired. You’ve been here for the past 2 hours and although you got most of the general ideas, you struggled hard. It didn't help that the people who were studying around in the study hall had left. It's almost midnight and you’re forced to still work.

You’d have gone to sleep too but this is important, plus you’ve got someone who is willingly helping you and having unknown faith in you.

"You can do this Y/n. It's just the last paragraph left," he encourages.

You’re pulled away from your thoughts when he says your name. You stare at him in shock. "How'd you know my name?"

He just looks at you with his soft smile and shrugs his shoulders leaning on his elbows. "Some names just stick,"

"That doesn't explain how you know my name," You say while squinting at your eyes.

He looks to the page tilting his head. "It was on your assignment, and plus...you're well known in the school."

"Oh, for my temper?" You mentally slap your head. "I'm sorry. I forgot,”

“That’s okay,” He sighs while looking at the text you wrote, he smiles. “You’ve got a really pretty handwriting,”

“Really?” Your eyes move to your page before looking up at him when he nods a little. He’s so fragile and looks so easily boxed up into a category of being a loner. Unlike you who’s constantly ready to unleash your emotions, he doesn’t look like the type to let it go- but instead keep it all in.

“Yeah, it’s really pretty.” He clears his throat speaking again. You can't help it when you turn your head in his direction and blush lightly. His voice sounds like a thousand angels gently whispering sweet nothings into your ear. "What do you say, we take a little break and then we get back into it? It's better finished now then handing in half a page of nothing,"

"You're right-" You mutter. "About the break part. As for the other part, I have no problem handing in an empty sheet,"

He chuckles displaying his gentle smile again. You smile lightly before shaking your head.

"Look, I'm so sorry for how I reacted and treated you earlier. I'm just really stressed out. People keep telling me how to act and behave and I don’t want to let them down, but two days ago, I realized that I don’t want to be the type of person who acts a certain way to please people. I just want to be a kind human being. I'm looking for this one guy, my ex won't stop calling me and my assignments are all due tomorrow and this right here is so annoying- I'm so tired," You groan closing your eyes again. "But enough about me, I never got your name by the way,"

"O-oh. My name?"

"Yes your name," You say sitting up leaning back on your chair. "You’re going out of your way to stay up with me and help me. That kind gesture despite all my shitty mood swings, deserves a big thank you and even a gift. You're helping me more than you should, so I think I deserve to know your name right? Unless this is a onetime thing and we're never seeing each other again,"

He nervously looks away nodding his head. "Something like that. I'm just returning a favor,"

"Favor?" You question. "I don't remember being friendly to you since we met. What favor are you returning?"

His lips are sealed shut when his eyes peer into your own. A little smile ghosts over his lips. "You kind of helped me out of a deadly fate. You tried saving my life actually."

His words ring a familiar bell in my head. You watch him retreat into himself nervously shrugging his shoulders and fiddling with his hands.

“I would’ve never thought that someone like you with a temper would go out your way to make sure I’m alive. I didn’t even know how you knew which building I was on, but when I saw you running and entering the building, I felt… thankful...to be noticed. I mean, you ran past me and went straight to the roof, but after seeing your message I was overwhelmed. That somebody cared whether I jumped or not. That someone wanted to know my name. You actually ran out into the cold weather to try and find me to give me hug. I don’t even know-”

Your body instantly consumes him as you wrap your arms around his neck holding him tight in your hug. Your eyes are shut and the feel of having his body melt into yours as he silently breaths out has your heart swelling with that same emotion you felt two days ago.

The feeling of being a light for someone.

"Renjun." From hearing his own name come out of your lips, his hands gently wrap around yours and you rest your head on his shoulder. "Life is shit, but people find diamonds in shit."

He chortles lightly. "What?"

"You're a diamond in a shitty world, but I promise that ending your life won't be the solution. Please just, try to live. Inhale, exhale but don't die."

[azstrav]

PARTY CRASHERS-L.HC¹

"Come on y/n! I know you quit partying but you have to go to this party, you haven't been laid in like a month it'll fix your mood hun!" Chaewon pleaded, in her tight skirt and pink puffer jacket. "Chae I had no time to prepare I'm just not going. That's final" you replied. "You're fucking going, and you're getting fucked too." Chaewon brushed your shoulder as she walked past you. "Come on let's get you an outfit picked out."

Chaewon raided your closet and picked you out an outfit she thought was slutty, and she was right. Something that almost matched her outfit, a tight skirt and a lacey crop top. "Do you have a jacket like mine to go with this?" You sighed and walked out of your closet and found a jacket that looked like that. "Here" you handed her the jacket. "Why are you giving it to me girl it's *your* outfit" She smiled "What are you waiting for? We're gonna be late babe" You sighed once again and began to change.

Once you guys arrived to the party you were greeted by many guys, most of them talking to chaewon. She noticed your demeanor and turned around. "I know you can seduce any man in here hunny just be yourself" she said in a whisper. "I know chae, it just feels weird here" you said back. Which it was true, you just couldn't shake the bad feeling in your gut, but tried to ignore it to make your best friend happy. She led you to the living room where she told you 'the dreamies' hangout. You had to admit, you were kind of excited. You'd seen previous pictures of them all and knew they were all fine. "Oh and I want mark so please don't seduce him" she pleaded with a laugh. "Don't worry girl, I got you" you laughed.

As you both entered the living room all their eyes were on you, but your eyes landed on one of them in particular. He was wearing a tight black shirt and black jeans, his skin was darker then the rest of theirs. Of course, Chaewon greeted them first. "Hey guys! Mind if we join?" They were all passing around a joint, as one of them hit it and passed it he spoke up "and what are we getting out of it?" He paused for a moment before laughing "I'm just joking come sit" he cleared two seats for the both of you. "Now I know chaewon but who are you?" He asked. "My names y/n l/n, and you?" She asked curiously "Mark, Mark Lee" he replied. You gave chaewon a look. "Nice to meet you" you said. The rest of them introduced themselves, Haechan was the boys name. You wanted to talk to him, but chaewon suggested you and the boys play party games. "How about seven minutes in heaven?"

Why.. you cursed yourself. Of course, the bottle you spun had landed on haechan. As the two of you got up chaewon whistled "there's condoms in the drawer next to the bed!" One of them, jaemin, yelled. The both of you walked into the room and closed the door, you sighed before sitting on the bed. "Listen if you don't wanna do anything we don't have too, I understand" you said looking at him. "Not now, I'll need more then seven minutes with you" he replied, placing his hand lightly on your thigh. He looked as if he was about to kiss you. "Oh.. you wanna just go to my place?" You suggested. "How about mine? I'll cook you breakfast in the morning" he pleaded. "You got me convinced" you said grabbing his hand and getting up.

HI CHATTTTT UHHHH SO I HATE TO LEAVE YALL ON A CLIFFHANGER BUT I CANT WRITE SMUT RNNNN ANYWAY THANKD BYE

[luvilele]

R3NJUN THE COOLEST 🕹🎲🎬

renjun moodboard! liked/reblog!

[kyuhrts]

.. %# it all starts from home <3

[kyuzuberri]

A Renbow ! – Part 8/9 BLACK!

[rvnclyd]

[hyudream]

[nanazluvs]

crazy ass stage

[slowrainyday]

icons from @ Enamorarse4323 on twt

[renjunplanet]

| Flume... Huang Renjun

notas. segunda parte daquela one shot com o injun... acho que vai acabar tendo uma parte 3 😶

— Menino Jun, me espera!

Verão de 2010, a casa de sua vó cheia de primos e tios, todos parentes distantes que só via em feriados de fim de ano e raramente lembrava os nomes. A casa de veraneio com os quartos de hóspedes cheios, as caixas de som enormes de um de seus tios tocando o álbum América Brasil do Seu Jorge e a mesa posta com variados pratos do jeitinho que sua vó gostava.

Do jeitinho que você gostava de visitá-la.

Na tarde da véspera de Natal, com seus primos e os netos da Dona Lili – a vizinha mais querida que sua vó poderia ter –, aquele verão parecia mais mágico do que nunca.

Por alguma razão desconhecida, os adultos que aproveitavam o samba que ressoava pelas caixas de som prateadas estavam mais bonzinhos aquele dia, deixando você e as outras crianças brincarem na praia, acompanhados de Kun o primo mais velho de Renjun e Chenle — as casas também eram de frente para o mar, estavam sob boas mãos e bons olhos.

E agora estava você e o menino chinês fofinho, escondidinhos atrás do muro de madeira da casa da vó dele, planejando como tirar Chenle e Ricardinho da prisão sem serem pegos pelos policiais.

Para brincar de polícia e ladrão era necessário ter bastante QI e agilidade, porque aquelas crianças de 8 à 14 anos pareciam máquinas ao ponto de nem cogitarem a ideia de ter café com leite na brincadeira.

— Ei, Alfajor. — Renjun lhe chama pelo o apelido estranho.

— Hum? — você o observa se aproximando de você, confusa.

— A Clarinha e o Kun não estão por perto, se a gente ir direto agora e correr até sua casa acho que a gente despista eles e consegue tirar o Lele e o Dinho da roda. — ele diz, bem pertinho de você, apontando para cada ponto de referência do plano.

Renjun cheirava tão bem.

— Conseguiu entender, Alfajor? — o chinês chama sua atenção mais uma vez.

— Hã? — acorda dos próprios devaneios — Entendi sim. — concorda com a cabeça apressadamente; mente.

— Tá bom. Então eu vou e você vem atrás, tá legal?

— Uhum. — você faz joinha com os dedos, ainda fingindo que entendeu.

Após seu sinal, você vê e o menino magrelo correndo pela a areia com rapidez, puxando o primo dele pelo pulso e fugindo para sua casa. Depois de vê Renjun fazendo isso, você tola percebe que tem que fazer o mesmo então sai disparada na direção de Ricardinho.

Puxa ele para fora do círculo e saem correndo, entretanto as outras crianças pegam vocês no flagra bem na hora, o que faz com que você esqueça totalmente a estratégia que antes discutiu com Renjun.

Você e seu primo saem correndo em direção a beira-mar, gargalhando e gritando, fugindo dos policiais da brincadeira.

Ficaram dando voltas e voltas, tentando não serem pegos.

Ricardo, por pura sorte, escapa das mãos de Clarinha e você, azarada que era, acabou tropeçando nos próprios pés e foi carregada no colo por Kun até o círculo da prisão.

Foi largada na areia fofinha, sendo abandonada ali sozinha pelo mais velho assim que ele avistou de longe Chenle correndo entre os adultos.

Sentada com os braços abraçando os joelhos, esperava os parceiros de crime virem ajudá-la.

5 minutos...

O primeiro a tentar vir foi Chenle, que foi preso novamente — Kun estava em cima dele, era presa fácil. Sentou-se ao seu lado, aceitando a derrota e com os pulmões ardendo de tanto correr.

8 minutos...

O segundo a se aproximar foi Ricardo, que desistiu na hora ao ver que Clarinha rondava a roda.

17 minutos...

— Pois é, Lele. Parece que ninguém vai vir nos salvar... — sua voz sai emburrada depois de esperar vários minutos no sol quente.

Parece que foi só reclamar que Deus atendeu suas preces.

Uma mão pequena com uma manchinha roxa surge do nada, entrelaçando em seus pulsos e te puxando para fora do círculo com uma rapidez sem igual.

Sensação estranha, não sabia dizer se era por conta da pressão que havia aumentado por ficar exposta tempo demais de baixo do sol das onze horas, ou pela fome, ou pela forma como os cabelos negros e os olhos brilhantes e pequenininhos — que você gostava tanto de admirar — chacoalhavam seu coração.

Sentiu o rosto arder de vergonha.

Sentiu a timidez subir, arrepiando a espinha assim que Renjun se escondeu com você no mesmo lugar que estavam antes.

Ouviu seu próprio coração palpitar ao ver o sorrisinho torto do chinês abrir depois de o ouvir dizer baixinho "Alfajor bobona, era pra ter ido onde a gente planejou".

Sentiu o rosto desenhar um sorriso e escapar uma risada fraca, totalmente dispersa e desconectada da realidade.

E a sensação do ventinho batendo contra seu rosto e seu vestido florido parecia preencher ainda mais os sentimentos que seu corpo pequeno havia descoberto.

Foi no verão de 2010, escondida atrás do muro de madeira de Dona Lili, que sentiu como se as estações repentinamente tivessem se invertido.

Foi no verão de 2010 que sentiu a tal da primavera florescer em seu peito e as belas flores da amada estação entrelaçando seu coração num abraço gostoso e bonito.

Foi no verão de 2010 que pela primeira vez recebera um sorriso, cujo qual despertou o desejo de poder conquistá-lo mais uma vez; colecionar.

Foi no verão de 2010 que você descobriu o amor.

— Menino Jun? — a voz ressoa rouca, se fundindo ao som das ondas e ao cenário cinzento — O que faz aqui tão cedo?

Você vê a figura masculina bonita virar o tronco em sua direção, assustado.

As bochechas e lábios estavam vermelhinhos assim como o nariz delicado. O frio da manhã de outono havia o beijado nos lugares que você tanto desejava.

— Alfajor? — o tom doce tímido lhe faz se aproximar dele.

Você o fornece um sorriso açucarado para o chinês, que sorri de volta envergonhado.

— Bom dia!

— Bom dia...

— O mar parece agitado hoje... — você diz, vendo a força da água batendo contra as pedras do costão lá de longe.

— Acordei no susto por causa do barulho das ondas.

Você franze o cenho, olhando para ele confusa. Ele retribui seu olhar com uma expressão neutra.

— Tenho o sono leve... — conclui.

— Ah... Entendi.

Silêncio.

Muito silêncio.

— Pensei que eu nunca mais iria te ver, Jun... — sua voz sai num murmuro.

— Eu também pensei o mesmo... Pensei que nunca mais voltaria para cá e veria esse mar de novo...

Ele suspira pesado, vendo mais uma onda grande se quebrar e fazer um som estrondoso. Você acompanha o rapaz, admirando a cena.

— Quando sua vó disse pra mim, no ano que você foi embora, que você nunca mais passaria um verão com a gente foi tão doloroso pra mim...

— Sério? Doeu tanto assim? — Renjun ri sem graça.

— Não tanto quanto o gelo que você me deu ontem de tarde. — parecia impressão sua, mas as bochechas dele estavam ainda mais vermelhas e não era por causa do frio — Mas eu senti meu coração se partir em vários pedaços, Menino Jun. — seus olhos se encontram com o dele — Saudades mata e rasga o peito. Não é nada legal.

Trocam olhares, tentando se reconhecerem, ou se conhecerem novamente. Eram pessoas totalmente distintas do que um dia foram, a amizade que possuíam antes havia se esfriado.

As coisas pareciam estar desencaixadas.

Renjun não tinha mais aquele sorrisinho torto que você tanto gostava. Renjun não tinha mais 18 anos.

Renjun deixou de ser aquele rapaz que você dividia sorvete e histórias de terror; aquele menino que jogava com você no Nintendo velho do seu pai.

Renjun, por conta da constância do tempo, foi deixando de ser seu amigo.

E saber disso doía ainda mais do que as duas vezes que ele foi embora sem se despedir ou cumprimentar você.

— Merda, tá chovendo! — ele exclama algo em mandarim, quebrando a troca de olhares.

Você o observa confusa mais uma vez, tentando entender o que ele está dizendo, até sentir os pingos gelados em seu rosto.

Quando volta a ter noção do que está acontecendo, vê um Renjun a uns dois metros de distância, com as mãos sobre as sobrancelhas tentando impedir a chuva de atrapalhar a visão.

— Alfajor! O que você está fazendo?! — ao perceber a sua falta, ele se vira para você te procurando em meio aos vários pingos de chuva.

Você vê ele correndo em sua direção afobado, sente a mão fria abraçar a sua e corre junto a ele em baixo das gotas cristalinas que caíam sem parar.

Parece que repentinamente você volta no tempo.

A mesma praia, talvez a mesma pessoa. As estações trocadas.

Mas a primavera sempre lá.

O sorriso que tanto amou agora diferente, talvez mais bonito — ainda preferia os dentinhos tortos —, era a mesma coisa e de repente a sensação de tudo estar fora do lugar desapareceu.

— Por que você é sempre tão lerda, Alfajor? Podia ficar doente...

É.

A primavera fez questão de florescer na estação errada mais uma vez...

E você boba caiu nos encantos dela sem pestanejar.

[dongkhhstan]