#repellent to me. like ok get a hobby

[c-kiddo]

obviously its all bad but the one plagiarism somerton did that i rly cant get over is taking the words of a trans!! and asian!!!!!!! writer (jes tom), who was writing personally about their thoughts on Mulan and how they very personally connected to the story, and removing any mention of race so that he (white) could say it as if it was his words. and not only that he makes it generally about queerness rather than (asian, specifically) transmasculinity . truly rancid

[anubislover]

Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya chapter 11: Dinner with Dr. Heart Stealer

As the clock struck seven, Nami critiqued her outfit in the mirror; a strapless little black dress that hugged her curves like a glove, gold stiletto heels, black thigh-high stockings, and the tourmaline jewelry she’d bought from the seller in Tokken. She even used the hairpins Law had gotten her to clip back the left side of her hair. She finished off the look with some dark red lipstick and gold smokey eyeshadow, giving herself an elegant but sensual look.

“Getting all dressed up for the captain?” Ikkaku teased from her bed. The engineer was thumbing through the romance novel she’d caught Nami with, and though it wasn’t her usual thing, had decided to give it a shot. After all, it had managed to entrance the usually energetic navigator for hours, and she had some time to kill before Ladies Night.

Brushing some gold highlighter over her cheekbones, Nami scoffed. “Please, I’m getting dressed up for you. Law’s just a lucky bastard who benefits due to scheduling.”

“I’m flattered,” she said with a wink. “Though I’ll understand if you ditch me to take him back to the nearest inn so he can rock your world. I mean, I won’t be happy, but I’ll understand.”

“Ok, I gotta ask—have you ever slept with Law? Because you’re always vouching for his sexual prowess…”

Ikkaku immediately made fake gagging sounds. “Oh, hell no! That’d be like fucking one of my brothers! But I have talked to some of his past lovers, and they all seemed pretty damn satisfied. Something a girl like you deserves to be.”

Hip jutting out and eyebrow raised in challenge, Nami replied, “How do you know they aren’t lying? Maybe he’s terrible in bed but they’re all too scared to speak ill of the Surgeon of Death, especially to one of his fearsome subordinates.”

The grin said subordinate graced her with was nothing short of salacious. “Because if he were bad, Drake wouldn’t keep coming back for more, even though Law pisses him off so much.”

Nami bit her lip to hide her grin. “Ok, fair point. Also, I want the inside scoop on that relationship.”

“If Law doesn’t give you the dirty details himself, I’ll happily fill you in,” she replied, sniggering. “Bet they’ll give you better fantasies than whatever’s in your books!”

Pink rose to the redhead’s cheeks as her eyes briefly darted to the space under her bed. Nami had shoved Ikkaku’s scandalous box to the very back corner to hopefully never see the light of day again. She dared not throw them out; she doubted Ikkaku would take kindly to it, and knowing her, would probably present her with something even more embarrassing in retaliation. “By the way, as much as I hate your stupid ‘gift’, thanks for not spilling that to everyone. At least, not directly.”

“I thought about it but figured the sex toys would be just as funny without the guys prying into your hobbies. Most of them have enough tact to keep them from teasing you about a dildo, but I doubt they’d show the same restraint if they found out you were into erotic novels.”

“You just want to lord my guilty pleasure over me, don’t you?”

“How’d you know?”

“I have a sister, remember?”

“Ha! Good point. I’m guessing she teases you about this stuff?” she asked, pointing to the book.

Chocolate eyes rolled in exasperated fondness as she played with her bracelet. “All the time. It was annoying, but I guess I appreciated it, in a way. It was one of the more normal things we could talk about, given how screwed up our situation was.”

“Because of the pirates holding your town hostage?”

“Yeah,” she replied, debating on whether she should elaborate. Finally, she added, “I was kind of an outcast among the townsfolk because I made sea charts for the captain. My sister was the only one who knew it was against my will, and that I had made a deal to raise money to buy the village back. Or at least, they all pretended not to know so if I ever decided to give up and run away, I wouldn’t feel guilty.”

“You know, I’m beginning to understand why you have so many trust issues,” Ikkaku quipped, though her eyes were sympathetic.

“Believe me, it was way worse before Luffy came into my life. If we’d met a year ago, I would have already betrayed you and stolen the ship and all the treasure on board.”

“You could try, but the Boss would kill you. He loves this ship and he does not take threats to his crew lightly.”

“I’ve noticed,” Nami deadpanned, adjusting her bodice. It was a sweetheart neckline, which nicely accented her generous bust, had enough support to keep her from spilling out. Such a thing was extremely necessary, given the low back of the dress. Not long ago, she would have been nervous wearing something so daring around Law, but she was still leaning on the theory that he had a weird fetish for modest clothing. If she was right, showing this much skin would act as a repellant.

“He wasn’t too rough with you, was he?” Ikkaku asked, genuinely concerned. “I mean, he can get intense—”

“Oh, he was absolutely terrifying, and I’m pretty sure he was ready to start removing body parts if I hadn’t been having a panic attack, but honestly? I’d still choose him over Arlong.”

Before Ikkaku could ask any questions, there was a firm knock on the door. Grabbing her new purse and slipping into a leopard print, fur-trimmed coat, Nami nodded at her roommate. “Promise me a 9pm rescue?”

“Hmmm, only if I don’t get too caught up in this book,” she teased, cracking it open. “I mean, you did say there was some pretty intense eye contact to look forward to.”

Blushing, she shot back, “You laugh, but chemistry like that can be more intense than any make-out scene.”

“Says the virgin.”

Choosing to ignore the jab, Nami yanked open the door and was met by Law’s cocky smirk. To her surprise, he wore a tailored white suit with a black dress shirt, which brought out that extra little bit of olive in his skin tone. His polished black dress shoes gleamed as brightly as his earrings and the thick, gold chain around his neck. A heady, musky scent tempted Nami’s nose, and she realized Law’d chosen to wear some kind of cologne. Oddly enough, his white fur hat and tattoos didn’t seem as out of place as when he’d dressed up on Tokken Island; perhaps it was because this wasn’t a disguise, or the color was just far more complimentary to his trademark accessories. He looked slick and dangerous, but also at ease—a criminal on a night off.

Damn it, he looked even better than he had at the gala.

Leaning against the doorframe, Law’s grin widened at her perusal. “Do I pass inspection, Nami-ya?” he purred, giving her his own approving once-over.

Gold eyes locked with hazelnut as Nami cocked her hip. “Considering how you haven’t told me where we’re going, it’s a bit hard to judge. For all I know, you’re underdressed.”

“We’re going to a jazz club I frequent, so even if I showed up in jeans, they’d let me in—especially if I have a beautiful woman on my arm.”

“Flatter all you like, Law—you’re not getting out of footing the bill.”

Never breaking eye contact, he gave a little mock bow. “Of course not. A gentleman always treats on the first date.”

“I don’t know you’re more wrong about; that you think this is a date, that there’ll be more than one, or that you’re anything even close to a gentleman.”

“I think I proved myself at the gala. I was on my best behavior, wasn’t I?”

“Maybe in public, but the second we were alone, you went right back to being a bastard.”

A low whistle interrupted their banter, and Nami turned to see Ikkaku wiggling her eyebrows suggestively as she meaningfully glanced between them. “You know what, Nami? You may have a point with that ‘intense eye contact’ thing.”

Cheeks inflamed, Nami grabbed Law by the arm and dragged him down the hallway before Ikkaku could say anything else. As she felt the captain’s intense gaze burning into the back of her head, she silently wondered if a free dinner was worth it.

XXX

The outside of the jazz club was far from impressive—in fact, the entrance was a nondescript wooden door against a plain brick wall, its only ornamentation a faded bronze knocker and a number “8” nailed at the top. Nami was positive she would have walked straight past if Law hadn’t led her to it, pausing to quickly rap three times with his knuckles, then four with the knocker.

After a moment, the door opened, and they were greeted by a young woman dressed in a short skirt and tailored red vest. “Captain Trafalgar. So glad you could join us tonight.”

Law gave a lazy, familiar grin as he wrapped his arm around Nami’s waist. “Always a pleasure, Akari. Is my usual booth ready?”

“Of course, sir,” she replied, ushering them inside and leading them down a narrow, winding staircase.

As they stepped into the lounge, Nami’s eyes widened in surprise. The bland building façade hid a much more elaborate interior; everything from the bar to the floor to the wall panels were made of mahogany or cherry wood, with ruby red cushions, upholstery, and carpets. Red and gold lamps provided just enough light to see by while giving the place a sensual, mysterious ambiance.

At the far end of the room, low couches formed a semi-circle around the small dance floor in front of the stage, where various instruments and music stands awaited performers. Currently, the stage’s sole occupant was an older gentleman playing a soothing tune on the piano. There were a few larger tables scattered about, but most of the seating appeared to be small booths in the walls, their openings framed by red velvet curtains. Several were occupied by canoodling couples, and it didn’t escape Nami’s notice that a few even had the curtains drawn.

Akrai led them to an empty booth, and Law graciously helped Nami out of her coat, handing it to their hostess to hang up before sliding comfortably into his seat.

“Wow,” Nami said, taking it all in. Their seating arrangement was cozy but not claustrophobic, the velvet cushions that padded the crescent bench wonderfully plush. A gold lamp hung above the round table, allowing her to more easily peruse the embossed menu. Appetizers ranged from shrimp cocktail to deviled quail eggs, while entrees featured grilled seafood, roast duck, and steak. The drink list was extensive with an assortment of sparkling wines, cocktails, hard liquor, and even absinthe.

“I figured you’d approve,” Law replied smugly, lounging back in his seat. “And I told you I wasn’t underdressed.”

“I guess not. How’d you hear about this place?”

“It’s an establishment that first started in the North Blue—Prohibition Island decided it wanted to outlaw alcohol, among other ‘sinful’ things. The club’s owner was an entrepreneur from the West Blue, so she knew a thing or two about setting up businesses under the government’s nose. The original club became successful enough to branch out to other islands, and eventually made its way down the Grand Line.”

“I wouldn’t expect Grimm to ban alcohol,” Nami replied, brow furrowing in confusion. An archipelago that catered to pirates and other scum, which had a thriving black market and a brothel on every corner, but outlawed alcohol? The very idea was baffling.

Head shaking, Law chuckled, “Oh, it doesn’t, but Haiko-ya felt the atmosphere suited the clandestine aesthetic. This just happens to be a place where you can get quality booze and not worry about someone spiking your drink. She’s a criminal, but she has standards far higher than most of the island’s establishments.”

“You sound like you know her personally.”

He shrugged but gave a mysterious smile. “She’s Kimo-ya’s wife, actually. Considering all the business I do with her husband, she was happy to give me a lifetime VIP membership.”

A wave of paranoia sent a shiver down Nami’s spine. “What if she sells us out to Jinzo?”

“She won’t. She hates the man’s guts to an impressive extent. Hell, if she’s here tonight, she’ll probably give you special perks for ending up on his shit list.”

By that point, a young man in a red satin waistcoat appeared, smiling at the pair pleasantly. “Welcome back to Ruby 8, Captain Trafalgar. My name is Hansuke, and it’s my pleasure to serve you tonight. What can I get you to drink?” he asked, flipping open his notepad.

“I’ll have a neat whiskey,” Law said easily.

“A Sour Sunrise for me, please,” Nami said, pleased to find an orange juice-based cocktail. She flashed Law a catlike grin as she added, “And a bottle of your best champagne.”

“One glass or two?” the waiter asked, glancing at Law for confirmation.

“Two,” Law replied, smirking at Nami. “In fact, make sure there’s another bottle ready for when we finish the first one. We’re celebrating, after all, and I intend on giving my woman an unforgettable evening.”

“I’m not your woman,” she growled, but was ignored by both men.

“Of course, Captain Trafalgar,” Hansuke said with an eager nod. Men looking to impress were men who spent a lot of money, and if he did well, he might just earn himself a hefty tip. “Are you ready to order your meals as well, or do you need more time?”

“I know what I want,” said Law, barely glancing at the menu. “I’ll take the grilled salmon with the house salad.”

“I’ll have the orange duck, and can we also get a basket of rolls for the table, please?” Nami asked the waiter sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes for extra measure.

The young man nervously glanced between her and the scowling Supernova, clearly debating which one was better to please.

“I…let me check with the chef—I think he said something about running out,” he squeaked out before sprinting off.

“That was cruel of you, Nami-ya,” Law rumbled, fixing her with an annoyed glare, though sadistic humor twinkled in his eyes. “I told you, I’m a regular here. They know I despise bread and will decapitate anyone stupid enough to bring it to my table.”

With a huff, she crossed her long legs and flipped her hair haughtily. “Killing a waiter isn’t a great way to impress a girl and will definitely get you banned from any self-respecting restaurant—VIP or not.”

“I wouldn’t kill him—you forget, my powers allow me to cut a man to pieces and still keep him alive.”

“You should seriously still be banned.”

“They’ve served far worse patrons than me, and they know I’ll be on my best behavior and fill their pockets with plenty of belli so long as they don’t intentionally piss me off.” Lips turning up in an amused grin, he continued, “I’d say it’s a lesson you could stand to learn, sweetheart, but half the time I find your petty acts of defiance charming.”

“Does that include the sunburn I gave you?”

“No, though I did enjoy everything you did to distract me from it.”

The waiter returned to their booth with their drinks and a small tray of assorted meat and cheeses, smiling at Nami apologetically even as a drop of sweat trickled down his face. “I’m so sorry, miss, but it seems we’re out of bread this evening. Not so much as a crumb can be found. Please accept this complimentary charcuterie board with the house’s sincerest apologies.”

Annoying as it was that Law had the staff wrapped around his finger, she took pity on the poor man and gave an understanding smile. If the Surgeon of Death really was a regular at this place, she couldn’t blame him for not going along with her game. “Oh, this is just lovely! Thank you so much!”

Hansuke’s relief was palatable as he set down the tray and their drinks before running off to fetch the champagne.

“See? It’s things like this that keep me from getting too mad at you,” Law chuckled, popping a cube of cheese into his mouth. “I haven’t gotten a free appetizer since that time a new waiter insisted I’d ordered breadcrumbs on my salmon.”

“So, you tolerate me so long as I get you free stuff?” Nami quipped, taking a dainty bite of a slice of ham. It had a surprising fruity note and practically melted in her mouth. She’d have to tell Sanji about it. Hell, even Luffy might appreciate it, assuming he took the time to chew.

She swallowed a bit more harshly than she’d intended when Law leaned across the table, long fingers lightly stroking her elbow as he murmured, “I put up with your antics so long as you make it worth my while, Nami-ya. Keep that in mind next time you’re tempted to pull one of your little pranks.”

Despite pulling his hand away to pick up his drink, Nami could still feel tingling sparks dance across her skin. It really was ridiculous how a brush of his hand invoked that reaction. She was supposed to be more composed than that—a wily thief that didn’t mix business with pleasure—but while his overt come-ons could be annoying, his subtle touches and inviting glances still managed to tempt her. “Fine, but the fact that you’re willing to literally take someone’s head off over bread is way more childish than my ‘little pranks’,” she grumbled into her cocktail.

Whether Law heard her snarky comment or not, their conversation was briefly interrupted as the waiter appeared with the champagne, popping the cork and carefully pouring the bubbly liquid into a pair of elegant crystal flutes. “The sous chef has received your order and will of course be making it himself, Captain Trafalgar,” he said. “If you need anything else in the meantime, please, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thanks,” he said breezily, sipping his whiskey. “What time is the band scheduled to start up?”

“In less than a half-hour, sir. They’re currently on their dinner break, but I can ask—”

He waved him off. “I’m in no rush, and I’d rather they be at peak condition while performing. I don’t need my evening ruined because one of them fainted onstage from hunger.”

“Of course, sir. Regardless, I’ll inform them you’re in the audience. Anything else?”

“Time alone with my date would be ideal,” he replied in a clipped tone, raising an eyebrow meaningfully.

Nami could see the way the young man shivered at Law’s glare, and he skittered like a mouse back to the kitchen, wisely leaving the bottle behind.

“And you call me cruel,” she stated blandly as she savored another piece of ham.

“I’m all for attentive servers, but the constant sucking up was getting old.” Trying some of the meat for himself, he glanced at her appraisingly. “But enough about him. You’re a far more interesting subject.”

She frowned, brow furrowing suspiciously. “Am I?”

Linking his fingers and leaning his elbows on the table, he smirked. “Of course. Despite being on my ship for nearly three months, you’re still a mystery. A puzzle with so many missing pieces that I can’t yet visualize the total picture.”

“I could say the same about you,” she said, remembering the confusion she felt as he ran off the day before. “We’re both complex people who play their cards close to the chest.”

“That we are, but yesterday proved that a lack of communication between us can be detrimental to our working relationship, not to mention your health. I promise not to pry too much, and you don’t need to give me all the details, but I expect honest answers.”

Much as she wanted to argue, Penguin’s advice stopped her. The first mate was right; everyone had baggage, but how were people supposed to know her bugbears if she didn’t tell them? As worried as she was that a man like Law would be willing to exploit her weaknesses, he also had a point regarding how their communication issues had nearly gotten her killed. Even if it drudged up unpleasant memories, this was a necessary talk for the sake of side-stepping further unpleasantness. “Fine. I’ll open up—just a little—if you will.”

Resting his chin on his knuckles, Law took a minute to mull over his first question. “Tell me, Nami-ya, how’d you get the name ‘Cat Thief’, anyway? Rumor has it it’s been your moniker since well before the World Government issued your bounty.”

Taking a deep breath and a steadying swallow of her Sour Sunrise, she replied, “My…first captain was always comparing me to a kitten. Guess it was his way of praising me despite my species, since he saw humans as the lowest of the low.”

“Odd opinion.”

“Not for a Fishman.”

Leaning back against the plush velvet cushions, Law unlinked his fingers and munched on another piece of cheese. “Ah. A backhanded compliment. Better than a human, but still little more than a pet.”

“That about sums it up,” she said, pushing down the image of Arlong’s patronizing smile. God, some days she’d hated his condescending approval more than his disgusting hatred for her species. It made her feel dirty, being someone that a monster like him could admire.

Law rubbed his goatee thoughtfully. “No wonder you had such an extreme reaction to me calling you ‘kitten’. I’ll try to avoid it in the future. Still odd you’d adopt a feline signature, though.”

Shaking off her former captor’s vindictive smile, Nami shrugged, buying time before replying by nibbling on some cheese, even though she barely tasted it. “Guess it was a little out of spite; I wanted to take the word back and feel like I had just a shred of power. Didn’t really work, but it was still a good nickname for a thief.”

Perhaps he sensed her discomfort, but Law gently nudged the topic towards safer waters. “Fair. Shachi was the one who came up with ‘The Surgeon of Death’. Bit over-the-top, but I like it. Iconic, and definitely strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies.”

“Sounds like something from a comic book,” she scoffed as she finished her cocktail, moving on to the champagne. She knew she wouldn’t get drunk, but the bubbles tickling her palette would be a pleasant way to keep her mind from slipping into the past. Even without the meds in her system driving her towards panic attacks, she knew nothing good could come from dwelling too long on what Arlong had put her through.

“Like I said, it was Shachi’s idea. He was worried the Marines would give me something lame, so he and the crew went out of their way to mention it in every port we stopped in until they had no choice but to put it on my wanted poster.”

“I’m sure Drake had his own suggestions on what to call you.”

Law chuckled smugly, looking far too proud of himself. “Oh, I’m sure he did, but those posters are seen by the general public, so anything he’d propose would have to be censored. It’s probably why Eustass’ moniker is just ‘Captain’; either that or it’s a lame form of overcompensation.” His grin grew even more devious as he added, “First time we met, I deliberately acted like Killer was the captain, just to piss him off.”

Despite herself, Nami had to giggle. She’d only met Eustass Kid briefly, but he’d seemed the type to not take an insult lightly. With the highest bounty of the rookies, he was certainly someone she wouldn’t want to mess with. “You’re an asshole with a death wish, aren’t you?”

Law shrugged, knocking back the rest of his whiskey. The humor in his eyes dimmed. “Perhaps I do, just a little bit. I didn’t expect to live past the age of thirteen.”

“Why?” she asked curiously before she could catch herself. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Face cast in shadow by the brim of his hat, he tersely replied, “I was a sickly child. My father was the best doctor in the providence, but even he couldn’t come up with a cure. Didn’t help that the world believed it was a contagious disease, so we had no outside help. I only survived because of the Ope Ope no Mi.”

“Your father must have been happy about that, at least.”

“He was killed years before I got my hands on it.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” Her heart clenched at the thought. A dead parent before the age of thirteen. Wasn’t that a painfully familiar story? “Well, I’m sure he’d still be happy you survived.”

He shrugged again, watching the bubbles in his champagne flute pop to avoid meeting her sympathetic gaze. “He’d be disappointed that I became a pirate instead of following in his footsteps.”

“Maybe, but I think he’d accept it so long as you’re alive and happy. Bellemere was a Marine, but while she wouldn’t approve of her daughter becoming a pirate, she’d support my decision because I’m free and working towards my dream of drawing a map of the world.”

As he finally looked at her, Nami caught Law’s lips briefly twitch upwards. “I suppose we’ll never know, but it’s a pleasant fantasy, at least.” He gave a mock toast. “To the parents who wanted better for us.”

With a wry smile, Nami clinked her glass to his, the pair gulping down the sparkling wine just as their food arrived. Digging into her meal, she appreciated both the delicious flavor of the duck and the blessed break in the heavy conversation eating allowed.

Talking to Law about her past was far different from Luffy. Nojiko had informed her before they left Cocoyashi that her stubborn captain had opted out of hearing her backstory when she’d offered to reveal it. At first, Nami’d been offended—what, had he thought her reasons for betraying the crew and faking Usopp’s death didn’t matter? But then she realized that, even without knowing who Arlong was or what he’d done to her and the villagers, Luffy had still gone after him.

All because that bastard had made his navigator cry.

As they’d sailed for Loguetown afterwards, Nami had pulled Luffy aside one night, sat him down, and told him everything. Not because he needed to know, but because a man like that was someone who deserved to know. Deserved to know the awful things she’d endured and done to survive. Why he’d found her mutilating her shoulder, cutting off that awful tattoo. Why she was so grateful he’d destroyed that room and all of the charts she’d toiled over for eight years. Why his refusal to give up on her had meant the world to the distrustful thief.

For his part, Luffy had listened quietly, occasionally nodding his head to show he was paying attention, an unusually patient and serious expression on his face. When she was finished, he’d clapped her shoulder, gave her that carefree, goofy grin, and simply said, “Now I’m really glad I punched that jerk!”

Law wasn’t like that. While he didn’t pry, he did ask questions, clearly seeking those missing puzzle pieces he spoke of and not taking her answers at face-value. Admittedly, they had been pretty bare-boned, but it highlighted the difference between the two captains—Law sought to understand because he didn’t fully trust her. Luffy didn’t need to understand, because he trusted her from the moment she’d refused to fire a cannonball at him.

Looking at Law’s nearly-finished plate, she had to suppress a giggle as another difference between him and Luffy hit her—his chewing habits might have left something to be desired, but at least he knew not to eat the fish’s skeleton.

Noticing his companion’s attention had returned to him, Law took a sip of champagne as he considered her. “You mentioned your ‘first captain’. I’m assuming this wasn’t Mugiwara?”

Nami sighed, setting down her fork to drink from her own glass, hoping the sharp beverage would wash away the foul taste talking more about Arlong would inevitably bring. “No. Before Luffy, I served as the cartographer for another pirate crew for eight years.” She deliberately didn’t mention she was an officer—it was easier for people to accept she was a prisoner when it didn’t sound like she was in a position of authority. Perhaps that was why Arlong had “promoted” her, even though she had no real power among the Fishmen. “He…his crew invaded my village when I was ten and made everyone pay for the right to live. Bellemere only had enough money to save her own life, or mine and Nojiko’s.”

“And, of course, she sacrificed herself to protect her children.” Law shook his head, and for a moment, Nami swore she saw a wince of pain, but the amber light made it hard to tell. “Eight years…I know captains who recruit kids so they can brainwash them into loyal subordinates, but he killed your mother. I doubt you joined him willingly, after something like that?”

“Believe me, I didn’t,” she growled. Hands shaking slightly, she instinctively grabbed her knife, holding it like the dagger she’d used to fake Usopp’s death and destroy her tattoo. “Working for my mother’s murderer was nothing short of torture. Day and night I drew maps for him until my hands bled, barely allowed to sleep or eat. And all the while he acted like he was doing me a favor, since cartography was what I loved most in the world.”

The word DEATH entered her field of vision as Law covered her trembling hand with his own. The warmth was comfortingly familiar at this point, and she felt her white-knuckled grip on the cutlery slacken. “Don’t worry; I do believe you,” he said softly, catching her gaze with his own. His expression was soft and concerned—similar to the way he’d looked at her last night in the infirmary. “You’ve shown yourself to be loyal to those you care about, and we’ve all done awful, painful things for the sake of survival. And I have to say, you may actually have a stronger will than me—I doubt I would have lasted a week serving the captain who murdered someone I held dear.”

“Yeah,” she said, breathing deeply, willing herself to calm down. Law’s thumb rubbing little circles across her knuckles was surprisingly helpful with that. It gave her something to focus on; to ground herself instead of letting the memories take over. Rough as the callouses from his swordsmanship and hard life at sea were, they were still so much smoother than the sandpaper-like skin of a shark Fishman. So blessedly human. “I guess…I guess you were right, though; if you’re not strong enough to protect yourself, you’re the property of someone who was strong enough to claim you.”

“I know I’m right, but I wish I weren’t. I’m assuming this first captain of yours has something to do with your dislike of my uniform?”

“You could say that.” She sighed, jerking her chin towards her left shoulder, the faint scars beneath her swirling tattoo barely visible in the dim light, but neither had to see them to know they were there. “One of the first things he did was have me branded with his Jolly Roger to make sure I couldn’t run off. So the whole world would know I was his property.”

Much like Penguin, Nami could see the dots connecting in Law’s mind. He’d recognized right away that the scars were self-inflicted, but now that he knew what had once been in their place, he could deduct why she’d caused herself such grievous harm. She felt his fingers tighten around her own, first in anger, before easing into a comforting squeeze. With forced calm, he said, “Considering how often Fishmen and Mermaids are sold as slaves, it was probably just as much a petty form of revenge. Still, I guess that explains your objection.” Frowning, he rubbed his forehead beneath his hat with his free hand. “Look, I can’t promise you’ll never have to wear the uniform again. Like it or not, it really is the easiest way to keep you safe.”

Deep down, she appreciated his apology and understanding, even as she inwardly groaned at the thought of wearing the beige jumpsuit. “It also made me a target,” she argued. “Drake wouldn’t have looked twice at me if I’d been in my normal clothes.”

“Please, Drake-ya reads the news and would have gone after you regardless of what you were wearing. He’s smart enough to recognize a dangerous alliance when he sees one, or at least an opportunity to get a leg up. Pitiful as your bounty is, getting his hands on a lone Straw Hat, especially one who was able to rob a former Marine Intelligence officer’s mansion, would be quite tempting.” A wide, predatory grin stretched across his face as he leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist as he leered at her. “Though, personally, I think he was jealous that I’d found a new redhead to play with.”

Nami snorted, the tension in her back loosening. Creepy as he was, Law was smart, steering the conversation away from the past and the world’s speculation on their partnership to something they could casually fight about. “Are you kidding? I think he was relieved; with me around, he doesn’t have to deal with you bothering him anymore.”

“If that were the case, he wouldn’t have tried to abduct you.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, he was trying to ‘rescue’ me; Drake’s a real gentleman, unlike you,” she quipped, taking a condescending sip of her drink.

“Oh, yes, a real gentleman who kidnaps and threatens to sell off unwilling women,” Law replied sarcastically.

“Better than a pervert who makes a girl wear an ugly uniform to indulge his weird sexual fetish.”

“…my what now?”

Confident that she’d just played a winning hand, she leaned forward, bending her chest slightly over the table. “Please, I see right through your little act. Sure, you flirt and tease, but only if I’m fully dressed.” The tip of a manicured finger teasingly traced along the swell of her cleavage. “When I’m wearing next to nothing, you show no interest in my incredibly sexy body. Given your proclivities, I’m surprised you even helped me out of my coat.”

Blinking owlishly, Law replied, “I’m sorry, you think I’m attracted to you…when you’re wearing more clothes?”

“Yeah!” she insisted, not caring for his disbelieving tone.

He covered his face with one large, tattooed hand, but through his splayed fingers Nami could still see yellow eyes light up with amusement. As she glared, they only shone brighter, and his shoulders slowly began to shake. Gradually, low chuckles slipped from his lips, finally morphing into full-on laughter, his palm failing to muffle the sound.

An irritated vein throbbed in Nami’s forehead as Law continued to cackle. “Don’t think you can fool me by treating this like a joke! You have a clothing kink! During my initial check-up, you didn’t give a damn that I was strutting around in my underwear. At the mansion, you were all over me when I was in that gown, but once it’s off, woosh, I’m as attractive as a lamp! Even after the mission, you barely even acknowledged what a hot piece of ass I am. Then you insist I wear that freaking jumpsuit…”

“Nami-ya,” he chortled as his hand dropped back to the table, managing to calm down enough during her rant to formulate a reply, “I don’t have a clothing kink—I’m just good at compartmentalizing and know there’s a time and place. When we were in the infirmary, not only was I acting as your doctor, but it was clear you were too nervous to be receptive to any blatant advances. As for the mansion, yes you looked absolutely delicious in that bodysuit, but we were there to do a job; there was simply no time to indulge myself. And when I treated your wounds,” his smile fell a bit, “you’d just been through a potentially traumatizing event. You were flinching just from me touching your calf. I know I can be an asshole, but did you really expect me to come onto you when you were acting like I was Harpin?”

For a moment, Nami just sat there, jaw hanging uselessly as she realized just how far off her theory had been, and most importantly, just how badly she’d managed to embarrass herself. Her own vanity had blinded her to the obvious answer. She could justify it with the fact that most of the guys she knew were either perverts or barely acknowledged that she was a woman, so she wasn’t used to a man who could both flirt and control himself, but she wouldn’t lie to herself.

“So…the uniform isn’t some weird sexual thing?” she asked, trying to cover her humiliation by finishing her glass of champagne. Times like these made her really wish she could get drunk; it would be the perfect excuse for her ridiculous accusation.

“I mean, I won’t lie and say I don’t like you in it, but it really is just for your own protection.” Law’s returning grin was smoldering and devilish as he purred, “I’m curious, though, about what bothered you more; that I might have a strange fetish for fully-clothed women, or that I wasn’t giving your incredibly sexy body the attention you felt it deserved?”

“I…”

He shuffled closer, sliding across the booth to close the distance between them, resting his right arm across the back of her seat and teasingly trailing the fingers of his left land along the soft skin of her jaw to cup her chin. “Because if it’s the latter, I’m happy to show you just how much I appreciate it when you run around my ship in crop tops and booty shorts.”

Nami blushed, realizing she’d played directly into his hands.

“You know, one of the reasons I like redheads so much is how vibrantly they blush,” he chuckled, leaning down so his breath danced across her sensitive neck and ear. The way she’d pinned her hair meant she had no shield from it, and she shivered at the sensation. “It’s so cute, watching the capillaries that carry your blood widen as adrenaline rushes through you. No matter how good a person’s poker face is, the body doesn’t lie. Lets me know my target’s receptive to my flirting, even when they stubbornly refuse to admit it.”

“You base it all on a blush?” she countered, defiantly poking him in the chest. “People blush in anger and embarrassment. You can’t assume someone wants you just because their face gets a little red.”

Like a leopard sizing up his prey, Law loomed above her, gaze analytical and hungry as he studied her. “No, you’re right; good thing, as a doctor, I know all the other physical indicators of arousal.” Tilting her head up, he stated, “Dilated pupils.”

His hand dropped from her chin to carefully brush along the flesh of her arm. “Goosebumps.”

Long fingers encircled her wrist, thumb resting over her pulse. “Increased heartrate.”

Honey eyes dropped to Nami’s mouth as the tip of her pink tongue peeked out to moisten her suddenly dry lips. “Unconsciously licking one’s lips.”

Releasing her wrist, Law’s touch traveled back up her arm to gently stroke the ends of her mikan hair. “And the fact that you haven’t even tried to move or push me away. In fact, I’d say you’re leaning into my touch.”

Nami’s face warmed further as she realized he was right. Mentally she berated herself, but deep down, she was beginning to accept that, even if she refused to act on it for pride and professionalism’s sake, she was slightly addicted to his attentions. She was never short on male admirers, but Law challenged her, the push-and-pull giving her a thrill the way heart-eyed fools like Sanji failed to. There was something about Law that drew her in like a moth to a flame—she knew it was fatal to get too close, but damn it, she couldn’t help but dance with danger.

Winding a short, orange lock of hair around a long finger, Law declared confidently, “All this says you find me sexually attractive.”

Before she could confirm or deny this claim, an excited voice bellowed, “As I live and breathe, Trafalgar Law graces us with his exalted presence once again!”

Said captain’s seductive grin shifted into his trademark smirk as he turned to greet the newcomer. “Are you living and breathing, Hiroshi-ya?”

The man chuckled, grabbing Law’s hand in a firm shake. Beneath a silver fedora his graying hair was cut close to his scalp. His skin was dark but sported prominent laugh-lines, a pair of oval sunglasses rested on the end of his large nose, and his brilliant grin could have replaced one of the stage’s spotlights. “If I’m not, you’d probably know before I did, doc.”

“Because I’m that good, or because you’d be too focused on performing to realize you’d dropped dead?”

The two shared a laugh before the man turned to introduce himself to Nami. “Hope I wasn’t interrupting a moment, here, darlin’, but I simply had to come over and say hello. The name’s ‘Devil’s Fingers’ Hiroshi, and your boy Law here is one of my favorite patrons. Tips well, and he saved my life.”

“I only fixed your hands.”

“Considerin’ how they’d been crushed beyond recognition and I need those to make a living, I think that counts.”

Nami gaped in shock as Hiroshi held up his hands, showing that while they were clearly in working order, they were littered with tiny surgical scars.

Law shrugged, though he seemed pleased with the praise. “It was a fun operation—not every day you get to remove someone’s finger bones one-by one to rebuild your favorite musician’s hands.”

“You put someone else’s bones into him?” Nami asked the surgeon, astounded.

“Of course,” Law said casually. “His own were absolutely pulverized, so a transplant was necessary if he ever wanted to play the saxophone again.”

Part of her was horrified at the mental image, but beneath that, something niggled at her. This was the second time she’d heard someone sing Law’s praises as a legitimate doctor, and unlike Reginald, Hiroshi seemed perfectly aware of the Surgeon of Death’s criminal activities and sadistic reputation. What reason did Law have for helping this man? Was it just because he liked his music?

“Well, I’d best get ready for the show, and I’m sure you want some more alone time with your girl, eh, Law?” Hiroshi teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’d certainly appreciate a little mood music,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a few large bills.

“You got it,” the sax player sniggered, winking at Nami. “Hope you don’t mind, but we’ll be stroking your boy’s ego a bit. After the surgery, I wrote a little ditty about him as thanks, and it’s become pretty popular with the crowd. Plus, it’s the only time Oscar lets me take over as the lead singer.”

“Law strokes his own ego plenty,” Nami groused, eyes rolling heavenward. “And if you want to write about him, go for his flaws; there’s enough of those to fill an opera.”

“Oooo, she’s feisty! Have fun with that, doc!” he chuckled as he strolled off towards the stage.

“I plan to,” Law purred, turning back towards the woman beside him. “I just can’t resist a fiery ginger.”

“Speaking of,” Nami deflected, hoping to keep the conversation from returning to their original topic, “you and Drake, huh?”

He chuckled at her obvious ploy but proceeded to go along with it. “Ah, one of my favorite playmates. What do you want to know?”

“I mean, let’s start with how the hell that happened?”

“You mean, how did the golden boy of the Navy find himself thoroughly seduced by the North Blue’s most notorious rookie pirate?”

“Yeah. Mainly because Drake seems smart enough not to fall for your sleazy tricks. Or at the very least, composed enough to ignore them until you lose interest.”

Refreshing their glasses of champagne, he gave a wolfish smile. “So you’d think, but Drake-ya’s got an instinctual, animalistic side that’s just so much fun to rile up. Besides that, I observed his physical reactions whenever we crossed paths, and wouldn’t you know it? They were damningly similar to yours.”

Picking at the remains of the charcuterie board, she munched on a piece of cheese to keep her body’s natural responses under control. Keep it together, she thought stubbornly. Even if I did mix business with pleasure, there’s no way I’m letting him win. “Pretty sure the heat of battle elicits similar responses. I think you were just looking for clues that weren’t there in a desperate attempt justify a hopeless crush.”

Her sass received a sharp laugh in reply. Handing Nami her glass, Law brushed the tips of his fingers over hers as he stated, “Maybe, but my theory was undeniably proven when Penguin, Ikkaku and I snuck onto his ship and found him moaning my name while jerking off in the shower.”

Nami nearly choked on her drink, the bubbly wine burning as it tried to make its way up her nose. No wonder Penguin wanted to repress that, she thought, mortified for the poor first mate. She’d probably feel the same way if she’d overheard someone masturbating to the thought of Luffy. “Oh my god.”

“You should have heard the things he was saying—fuck, harder Law! Put that dirty mouth to good use, you bastard!” Law moaned in her ear, mimicking his rival’s deep, guttural growl.

“M-maybe he had a hard-on for justice. You know, the actual law,” she argued weakly. She didn’t even really know why she bothered—it was clear he’d been right, considering how he and Drake had fucked at least once, but she just felt a need to try to knock him down a few pegs and keep his ego in check.

“Mmm, do you really believe that?” he hummed, honey eyes regarding her with amusement as he took a sip of his drink. “I think you’re just looking for clues that aren’t there in a desperate attempt to justify your need to be contrary.”

“Oh, shut up,” she grumbled, downing her drink and pouring the last of the bottle into her glass. “Fine, so Drake was utterly repressed from his time in the Navy and you were able to use that to get him into bed.” A thought came to her, and she raised her eyebrow curiously. “Wait, he didn’t leave the Marines because he fell in love with you or something, right?” That…would be kind of tragic, actually. Despite the sexual tension, the two Supernova hadn’t seemed to be on the friendliest of terms, so if Drake had defected for Law only for their relationship to sour…

“God, no,” he laughed, finishing off his own glass of champagne. “Drake-ya was dishonorably discharged not long after he massacred a village rumored to be sheltering pirates. He may seem honorable and composed, and I’ll admit he usually tried to avoid senseless cruelty, but when situations called for violence, he was cold-blooded and bloodthirsty. I think his family history also played a role; his father had defected and turned pirate, so I imagine there was a bit of a glass ceiling Drake-ya knew he’d never overcome.”

“And you know this how?”

“Pillow talk.”

Nami mulled his words over carefully. “Was Drake close to his father?”

“From what he told me while completely shitfaced, Diez Barrels had once been a Marine Drake-ya wanted to emulate, but when he switched sides, he was nothing short of an abusive monster.”

Pity welled up in Nami’s heart at the implications. “Poor guy.”

“You do remember this is the same man who tried to kidnap you, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it must not have sucked for him; looking up to someone, wanting to be just like them, only to be let down in spectacular fashion.”

For a brief moment, Law tilted his head, the brim of his hat casting a shadow across his face, but his voice was tight as he replied, “Enough about Drake-ya.” Clearing his throat, he turned to catch their waiter’s eye, pointing to the empty bottle of champagne. When his gaze returned to Nami, his tone was back to normal. “I’m getting a little jealous with all this talk about another man.”

She frowned. Nami could tell she’d hit a bit close to home there. Had Law once looked up to someone? Part of her wanted to pry; the man was uncharted waters, and the cartographer in her itched to discover his secrets and map them out.

But more than anyone, she respected wanting to keep a painful history private. “Then what do you want to talk about? Because if you want any more of my past, you’re going to need to buy me more than another bottle of champagne,” she replied before knocking back the final sip.

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “You drank quite a bit of that, Nami-ya, and yet I’m not noticing any signs of inebriation. It seems Mugiwara wasn’t exaggerating when he bragged about your tolerance.”

“Please, this is nothing—Zoro and I could drink whole taverns dry and still walk a straight line. Hell, it was one of my favorite ways to swindle pirates; get in good with the crew, outdrink them, then swipe their treasure while they were all passed out.”

“Interesting. You may be physically weak, but your liver sounds formidable.”

The lights, dimmed, and Nami glanced around curiously. Law chuckled, drawing her closer and pointing towards the stage. “Looks like the show’s about to start,” he murmured in her ear as he settled in, the arm around her waist telling her that she wasn’t moving for at least the duration of the song.

The band played a low, steady beat as a handsome man in a white silk blazer escorted a curvaceous woman with bold red hair wearing a silver dress onto the stage, the spotlights hitting the sequins in a way that nearly distracted from the daring slit and sexy black garters underneath. Turning her back to the crowd, she swayed her hips to the rhythm as the man took the microphone.

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen,” he drawled, tossing the crowd a smirk that could give Law’s a run for its money. “We’ve got a great night in store for you. I see a lot of new faces out there—as well as some familiar ones—so I’m not gonna yammer on too long. I want you to sit back, enjoy the service, the scenery, but most of all, enjoy the show.”

As he finished, he signaled to the band, who immediately transitioned into a smooth but lively tune, Hiroshi’s saxophone front-and-center, and the red-haired woman turned around, sensually dancing with the emcee as he began to sing.

It ain’t no big thing to wait for the bell to ring It ain’t no big thing The toll of the bell

Aggravated, spare for days I troll downtown the red-light place

Jump up bubble up - what’s in store? Love is the drug and I need to score

Enthralled, Nami watched as the pair performed, the song turning into a duet as they moved, the woman’s low, husky voice sending a thrill down her back. Or perhaps it was Law’s fingers stroking idly along her side—far from his groping in the alley, but the light touch was just as hot. Thighs clenched as the male singer bent the woman over suggestively, and she hoped Law was too focused on the show to notice her aroused blush. She didn’t want to imagine herself and the Supernova next to her in their place, but with the woman’s red hair and the man’s cocky smirk, it was really difficult not to picture the sensual scene the song suggested—her and Law stumbling around a dark room, locked in a passionate embrace, until finally they made it to the bed…

God, she joked about Drake being repressed to give in to an asshole like Law, but clearly, she was just as pent-up.

When the song ended, Nami let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, quickly going for her refilled champagne, gulping it down to wet her suddenly dry mouth. She hadn’t even realized Hansuke had refreshed their drinks as she hadn’t been able to pry her eyes from the stage, too lost in the song and her fantasy.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Law smirking in an all-too-knowing manner, but before he could comment, they were once more interrupted, only this time by the gorgeous singer who had left the stage to visit their table.

“Captain Trafalgar,” the red-haired woman purred, voice husky with an edge of a rough accent that somehow made her even more glamourous, “I heard you were back in town.”

“Excellent opening act, Haiko-ya, as usual,” Law replied, standing up to gallantly kiss her hand. “Oscar may be your prized vocalist, but everyone knows you’re the real star up there.”

“You charmer. Still sure you don’t want to quit piracy and come work for me?” she asked with an inviting smile. “I could use a man of your talents.”

“I’m sure you could, but as much as I like this club, staying in one place just doesn’t appeal to me. I like to wander, you know.”

“Pity, but you can’t blame a woman for trying. After all, who wouldn’t want a skilled doctor and enforcer on her payroll? Especially with my husband’s…accident,” she replied, tone suddenly going sour.

“I assume Jinzo’s challenging your claim to Kimo-ya’s share of the business?”

“Oh, he’s doing more than that—he’s trying to compete against my business. Opening his own club and even a few brothels so he can steal my clientele—rumor has it that’s why he’s being so stingy with his black market clients. His recent investments have put him in the red, and he he’s going to have to do something drastic to recoup the cost.”

For a brief moment Law frowned, though his lips soon turned back up into his calculating, sadistic grin. “Until then, his broken promises could earn him quite a few enemies.”

“Oh yes. I hear X Drake in particular was extremely pissed that Jinzo didn’t have his money today.”

“He was even more so when I told him that there’s no way he’d planned on paying his asking price.”

Haiko tsked. “Oh dear. It would be such a shame if some frustrated client were to cross Jinzo’s path before his latest business venture can properly take off.”

Behind them, Nami swallowed audibly, catching onto their intentions. Law glanced at her over his shoulder before returning his attention to Haiko. “Now’s not a great time to talk business, but perhaps we could continue our chat after the show. Jinzo’s trying to screw over a lot of treacherous people, myself included, and while I’m not interested in your job offer, I’d be happy to negotiate a deal that could benefit us both greatly.”

Her blood red lips curled upwards, eyes alight with interest. “Meet me in my office at nine-thirty sharp—it would be a pleasure doing business with you.”

“Before you go, I want to introduce you to my date,” he drawled, gently tugging Nami out of her seat. “Haiko-ya, this is Cat Thief Nami.”

“Ah, the woman who swindled Jinzo out of a lot of money,” the businesswoman replied, pleased smile fixated on the younger woman as she shook her hand.

“Does everybody know about that?” Nami squeaked.

“Oh, darling, it was the best piece of news I’ve heard all day. And not everyone knows—yet. I just happen to have a few eyes and ears stationed close to him so he doesn’t try to do to me what he did to my darling Kimo. I may not be able to prove he was involved, but it never hurts to be ready for anything.”

“Very true,” Law agreed. “So, I’ll see you at nine-thirty?”

Haiko blew him a kiss as she sauntered off. “Absolutely. And as thanks for embarrassing that piece of shit, your drinks are on me tonight. Keep it up, Miss Cat Thief, and you might just earn a VIP membership here, too.”

Nami couldn’t keep herself from staring as the woman left. Beautiful and glamourous though she was, she totally believed Haiko was the sort who would slit a man’s throat with a smile. She had a dangerous aura about her, and given how casually she and Law spoke, Nami was certain an ill wind was blowing.

“You two are going to do something to Jinzo, aren’t you?” she asked, sweat prickling at the back of her neck. She had no sympathy for the man, but she hoped whatever Law was planning didn’t involve her; the last thing she wanted was to get caught in the middle of an underworld power struggle.

“Mmmm, don’t worry your pretty little head over that, sweetheart,” Law purred as he tugged her towards the stage. His eyes were half-lidded and inviting, and Nami’s breath caught in her throat as her heart stuttered. Maybe it was just the aftereffects of Haiko’s performance, but the heat between her legs begged her not to resist him. “Ikkaku’s due to steal you away from me soon, so I’m not wasting another second.”

“What are you doing?” she asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

One hand clasped hers as the other wrapped around her lower back. “It dawned on me that, with how busy you were pick-pocketing rich assholes at the gala, I never got a dance with you. We’re going to remedy that. And wouldn’t you know it?” he rasped, leaning in so close his lips ever-so-slightly brushed her ear. “They’re about to play my song.”

Though initially thrown by his sudden change of tone and forwardness, Nami quickly realized from the feeling of hard wood beneath their feet that he’d led them onto the dancefloor. Before she could protest or break away, Hiroshi noticed them, tossing a wink and pointing them out to the male singer from earlier. Oscar quietly chuckled as he handed over the microphone, even giving a playful bow before stepping over to a xylophone.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are graced with the presence of the man who inspired this next song, the one and only Dr. Heart Stealer!”

As the music began, Law swept her into a dance, easily leading her in time to the lively beat.

Why is everyone so impatient? Recklessly jumping into things Crushing backstabbing

To achieve your goal Sometimes you just need to dive deep, hide yourself Scan the situation, that’s all

Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Look into the mirror and see Are you who you really are? Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Shall I steal what’s most precious to you?

Dr. Heart Stealer

Once you’re addicted, you can never escape…

As Hiroshi crooned the lyrics, Nami forced herself to focus on keeping pace with Law, and not on the surprising suggestiveness of the lyrics or the heat of the doctor’s palm on her exposed back. There were mere inches between them—enough space to properly move, but still so close that their breaths and body heat mingled. He was a surprisingly good dancer, too, gently guiding her across the polished floor in time to the beat, giving the occasional spin and dip, all while those golden, hungry eyes never left hers.

If something’s important, hide it away Once you shout about it out loud It’s just too naive, so sickening

Waiting is not a futile thing With enough clinical data You won’t make a mistake, there’ll be no trouble

Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM It’ll be over once your space’s safety is breached Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Because I know what’s most precious to you

Dr. Heart Stealer

Once I set my target, I’ll definitely get it

Don’t run away, come join me Show me how you dance

Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Look into the mirror and see Are you who you really are? Welcome to Trafalgar’s ROOM Shall I steal what’s most precious to you?

Dr. Heart Stealer

Once you’re addicted, you can never escape…

At last the song came to an end, and while Nami wanted to blame her breathlessness on the dancing, she knew at least a little of it had to do with the way Law was looking at her. His intense stare sizzled her skin pleasantly, and she had no choice but to admit that, as much as she wanted to fight it, the song was right.

If she let herself get addicted to him, she’d never escape.

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Complementary (Collins x OC) Chapter 39: Check

Summary: Babies. Adorable little nightmares, aren’t they? Or are they awful dreams?

AN: Happy Dunkirk Release Anniversary for yesterday! 

Took another while but I’m writing a new story to replace this one hopefully. It’s coming close to finishing Complementary now.

Triggers under “Read More”

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Trigger warning: Allusions to portpartum depression

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Unfortunately, that first day was the start of a staircase, the first step down. And Genevieve, with her leg, hated stairs.

It started like every other day the past couple of months: Stella crying at five in the morning after falling asleep at half one and waking up again at three. Genevieve was awakened from an unpleasant dream that was in fact a memory she cared not to remember. With a stretch to the sky, she began taking her turn to go check in with her baby. Her body felt like it weighed tons; heaving it out of bed was a trial she grew weary of more and more every time she had to do it. Feet dragging along the floor, she left behind Jack and followed the noise to the nursery.

That sound, it was not the screaming siren like it had been before. Just a simple cry that was as tired as Genevieve, who took up the child and held her close in her chest.

“Hello, darling,” She whispered against Stella’s head, “I’m here, shh.”

In a daze, she took the pair of them downstairs. Her hand gripped the banister tightly to keep her balance. Made the trip slower, but that was part of her newest daily task: ignoring her leg pain in favour of Stella’s care. This began as she sat on the sofa and tried to get Stella to have some breakfast.

“Come on,” She whispered as Stella’s head turned away, finding interest in looking everywhere but where she needed to get her feed. “Stella, love. This isn’t fun for me either.”

Both of them moaned at each other, their wants and needs repelling like the matching ends of magnets. Genevieve sank back into the sofa, still begging to a baby who couldn’t understand her until eventually Stella took to her. With a muttered thanks, Genevieve waited whilst her patience rebuilt itself brick by brick.

The burping was always a nightmare. Within a couple of pats, Stella was squirming to get away from her own spit-up with a strong grimace that her Da would be proud of.

“Ok, ok, ok,” Genevieve dabbed at her mouth while Stella made her displeasure known to all. A trial and a half, but then again Stella was too young to understand that it would be over a lot quicker if she just sat still.

Neither had expected to fall asleep. Coupled with the clock on the fireplace chiming eight o’clock, footsteps travelling down the stairs woke them up. Sitting up and carefully waking Stella, Genevieve spied Jack in the sitting room door frame, his work clothes clean from the wash yesterday. She didn’t know whether she loved or hated the moustache that he was “just trying out”. She was simply indifferent at the moment. Bigger worries at the moment.

Jack crossed over to her side, greeting her with a gentle “good morning” and a hand on her shoulder. A hum was the reply he got as Genevieve let him take Stella from her, falling back onto the couch with eyes closed as soon as she was gone.

Only a couple of minutes could be spared for Genevieve. She didn’t even think she actually went to sleep; sounds of Jack mumbling to his daughter filled her ears, even as she buried her head under the throw. But just resting her eyes, a soft space embracing her, felt glorious. Even her leg was giving her a break before the long day ahead; the pain had slipped off her thigh and been forgotten somewhere on the stairs. As a result, she prolonged her time on this sofa as long as she could, only removing the throw to let in the morning when she heard Jack stop in front of her.

“Stella, you be good for your Ma, alright?” Jack kissed Stella’s cheek then passed her back over to Genevieve, “Call me if you need anything, if the doctor says anything.”

And he kissed her on the crown of her head. It tilted to follow him as he pulled away. Genevieve’s mouth fell open, but she bit her tongue, holding back the desire to tell Jack her dream. It would help no one; he was already leaving the house, what could he do to help her in the seconds spare he had before driving away?

The lock in the front door twisted into place, and Genevieve began counting. Her thumb brushed across Stella’s cheek for each count, keep her quiet for just a moment. Genevieve reached the number twenty-three before she heard the car engine being switched on. It rumbled away from the house, shrinking into the distance until it disappeared. With a sigh, Genevieve lightly pinched Stella’s cheek and exhaled as she made a noise connoting a smile in return. Sure enough, when she looked, Stella was grinning up at her. Sort of. It was a wide-open mouth with the corners turned up ever so slightly.

From the floor, Genevieve collected the steaming cup of tea and a plate of buttered toast beside her cane – all of which Jack must have left for her. She wished she noticed sooner, to thank him. As she ate her breakfast, she kept Stella lying down in her lap.

“Ready for the doctor’s today, my lovely? We’re gonna do some house stuffs first though.”

Changing her nappy for a clean cloth did not go as planned. It never did. Stella’s legs kicked wildly and – like today – landed themselves in poo. Mock crying to the ceiling helped Genevieve cope as she wiped away the mess; holding her breath played its part too.

Even when clean, Stella continued to writhe. Mostly away from the arm holes, leg holes, head holes, in her clothes and she whined despite Genevieve’s assurances. Her aversion for cooperation was sated when Genevieve rested her head to Stella’s belly, curled up in front of her, and Stella thought this exhaustion was a game. Bit of a dick move, but Genevieve took advantage of Stella’s longing for play time to force her into an outfit. Stella seemed shocked at this, her eyes wide, her body stiff.

She remained that way as Genevieve lay her amongst pillows for protection – so that she could keep her eye on her while she cleaned the sitting room. It was slow work, the cleaning of clutter and the dusting and polishing, and slower now that Stella required seeing Genevieve every few seconds to stop her crying as much.

This was just killing time until lunch, which would be killing time until Stella’s nap was over, which was killing time until the doctor’s appointment. The whole day really was planned around the baby.

When lunch time arrived, Genevieve was glad to stop faffing around. None of her efforts seemed to show in the room. She put Stella down after rocking her to sleep for twenty minutes. Sat beside the crib, her hypothesis was proven: upon sitting down, she would be stuck and want to stay there for a nap. That was, until Stella drifted off and Genevieve had to perform a delicate act to place her down without disturbance.

No sooner was she in the kitchen, her forearms were drawn to the table like a moth to a flame, weariness flaring in her chest to reach up her spine. It wasn’t long before she was lying beside her poorly made sandwich instead of eating it. Not sleeping though. Somehow she didn’t have the energy and her longing to close her eyes swapped for opening them the second she gave into it.

Counting the minutes before Stella should be woken, a new hobby that Genevieve did not enjoy but partook in nevertheless. Always it was such an enticing opportunity to let Stella oversleep, just a little more peace. As much as she wanted to, it would be worse for her in the long run.

In no time at all, Genevieve was creeping back into the nursery. She knelt before the bars of the crib; she held them loosely. Stella lay there with her arms and body folded in a bundle. Her eyes were closed, face still. But her feet were moving beneath the blanket, snuffling softly between noises, so she was definitely awake. To prove it beyond doubt, Stella’s brow crinkled and her mouth was drawn open wide.

“Hello you,” Genevieve spoke under her breath as Stella blinked over at her. With care, she stood and reached into the crib. A grizzling accompanied the baby as she was lifted up and into her mother’s arms, the top of her swaddle unfolded to free her arms. Genevieve traced her fingers along Stella’s chubby chin, “Let’s go.”

As was with every outing, damage control was created with the blankets. Stella enjoyed wrapping her hand around a corner, chewing on it. Genevieve thought perhaps it brought her baby ease because she often moaned when they went outside, the bump of the pavement and bright weather unfamiliar to her. When the summer months would come, they would sit in the garden and Genevieve could work while Stella played, maybe she would be sitting by then.

With the pram taking both hands, Genevieve pushed them out the door. One last look at her cane hanging up with their coats and she left the house.

_______________________________________________________

A clinically quiet room greeted them. Stella ensured that whoever was in the building knew they were there with her grizzling. Too weary to shush her daughter, Genevieve checked in and sat right beside the desk in a stiff chair, avoiding the temptation to rest her head against the handle by looking instead at a pamphlet that discussed the merits of penicillin.

“Mrs Collins?”

Into another rigid chair she sat, this time in a smaller office. Taking Stella out of the pram, Genevieve discussed with the nurse from her first visit what Stella had been like in the last two months. Some questions were asked: “what are her nappies like?”, “how does she take to feeding?”, “how often does she cry?” etc. The answers were as follows: “she uh, doesn’t do solid poos. I’m sure she empties her body weight in slush”, “she started off ok, but now she struggles a little, won’t take for minutes”, “all the time, I hardly know how to stop her”.

The nurse then weighed her – Stella, not Genevieve – and checked her little body. Going against all that Genevieve had said about her behaviour, Stella smiled for the nurse and barely made a sound. Genevieve was almost angry about that, but channelled it into a sardonic request for the nurse to teach all she knew about keeping babies quiet.

Scribbling all this down, the nurse took the sheet of paper off her desk and placed it into a file, “Despite all that, she’s very healthy, already started teething. You’ll need some medication for that.”

Genevieve prepared to place Stella back in the pram, when the nurse pulled out another form and asked, “How are you coping?”

Stopping, Genevieve frowned slightly at the question. Obligation and honesty began a tug of war in her heart, pulling it painfully back and forth. She looked down at Stella, who was rubbing her cheek into her mother’s chest to bring her back.

“Honestly?” Genevieve looked up at the nurse.

“Honestly, Mrs Collins,” The nurse nodded.

Drawing in a deep breath, Genevieve felt honesty win and she allowed herself to unload onto the form: “I feel like I’m not good enough for her. I can’t do anything anymore. I don’t want to. I’m so, so tired, but I don’t even want to sleep. I love her so much but feeling like this all the time makes it hard. I can’t tell anyone either; I know what they say about mothers who aren’t always delighted by their bundle of joy.”

“That’s understandable, Mrs Collins. You’ll be surprised to hear that a lot of mothers feel the same as you, unsatisfied by life, questioning why they became mothers, fatigued all the time.”

“It’s not just that,” “I keep thinking about my… time in France.”

The nurse tapped her pen against the desk before gesturing to Genevieve, “You know, the hospital had developments made to it towards the end of the war, in the psychiatric ward.”

The last two words froze in Genevieve’s ears, burned her brain with cold. Her grip on Stella tightened just a touch, grounding her with the feel of the soft clothes and the funny smell that mixed with her soap.

“They’ve altered part of the ward to allow mothers and their young babies to stay together. It’s voluntary, and you can check yourself out whenever you like.”

“Thank you, but I don’t think I need that,” Genevieve said, eager to leave this office as soon as possible. Thankfully the nurse concluded the visit shortly after passing Genevieve a slip of paper detailing what would happen if she did need that.

Stella began crying again upon being returned to the pram; she grew louder when outside, likely missing the warmth of the office. Another reason to move quickly. Along with her leg aching, that was only allowing her to move so quickly, Genevieve was feeling rather overwhelmed by her discretion and felt the need to return to her bed.

“Genevieve!”

A familiar face parted from the crowd. Mariane waved to her eagerly; Genevieve immediately forced a smile that she really didn’t have the energy for.

“Oh, hey Mariane.”

“Hello!” She embraced Genevieve then let her go, too quickly for Genevieve to respond. Then Mariane peered into the pram where the crying Stella looked up at her, “Oh she’s getting big already!”

Pushing the pram back and forth to soothe Stella, Genevieve said, “How’ve you been? How’s work?”

“School’s still standing. And yourself?”

“Oh, tired, with this one,” Genevieve tried to laugh as if it were all joke, shake it off, “Sometimes I think I’ll take all those bratty privileged girls back. At least they sometimes quieten down.”

There was no doubt in Genevieve’s mind that her baby’s wailing was at the front of Mariane’s mind, as well as everyone walking past. Swallowing, she made her excuses and an empty promise to meet up when she could with the others from work before pressing on. For once, she was pleased Stella was crying. Home was where she needed to be now.

Fifteen minutes could be a long time or no time at all. Genevieve did not compare this to the longest fifteen minutes of her life. Thinking about her boat torpedoed was not going to be helpful to getting back to her house. Even though she knew this, and told herself many times not to think on when she was sinking into the Channel, she felt it. That anxiety, that chill, a memory of it at least still pressing on her body amongst the pressure of being a mother. From the debilitating enervation that now filled her life, it had lowered her defences and made her immune to thoughts of war.

Getting inside, Genevieve could barely put Stella to bed, before collapsing into her own.

It felt like only seconds later that she opened her eyes at the sound of Stella crying again. Genevieve did not go to her child though. She pulled herself deeper into the duvet, the pillow over her head, and she counted down from ten as slow as she could. But, even as Stella did not settle, Genevieve did not move for a long time. Her eyes stayed closed now, grown accustomed to their contradictory need to open. Feeling like this was familiar, oddly enough, but she couldn’t put her finger on where it came from.

Minutes dragged until Genevieve couldn’t take it anymore. She shoved away from the bed and found the nursery, looked down on the red face of her baby.

“Oh Stella, you’ll be alright,” and she hoisted her from the cot.

The afternoon mirrored the morning with Genevieve and Stella taking their places back in the sitting room. A book fell off the arm of the couch. Another attempt to calm her daughter, Genevieve collected the book from the floor and began to read aloud to Stella. It was a book of little importance, a how to do manual for calligraphy that had made it in the move from her old flat. She barely took in the words, eyes scanning over them without lingering for more than a stammer should she get a word wrong. Every paragraph or so, she would stop reading and look at Stella. But every time she stopped, Stella would begin to whimper again - a warning that anything could set her off.

Eventually Genevieve dropped the book back to the floor and held her face to Stella’s.

“Aren’t you beautiful?” She whispered, “My lovely baby. You hungry?”

It seemed they were both beat: Stella took to her feeding almost straight away.

“Thank you,” Genevieve said, falling back into the cushions and feeling like she hadn’t really achieved anything since she was in the same position hours ago. Her peace, however mediocre, was not meant to last.

_______________________________________________________

  The radio playing an unnaturally jaunty tune cut out with the engine. Jack was pleased to be home, only slightly worn out from work.

Upon entering the house, he heard the crying. His shoes were off, his bag was dumped. His brief sprint landed him in the kitchen where Genevieve was consoling the screaming Stella.

“Ginny?”

“She doesn’t stop,” Genevieve sniffed, “She just keeps crying and I don’t know how to help her. Oh!”

Her voice raised at the end, for Stella had thrown up. It missed the rag and splashed down Genevieve’s shoulder, splattering across her face when Stella coughed then continued to cry.

At her side, Jack spoke quick, “Ok, ok, love, get to bed, I’ll clean her up.” He collected Stella in his arms, “I’ll bring you some tea, Ginny, go clean yourself up.”

Insisting she go to bed, Jack watched Genevieve collect her cane and climb back to their room. She made it only to ball up a towel and scream into it. She hadn’t done that before. Lilly suggested it as therapeutic when she had James. It was not. Genevieve had gotten spit-up that had dribbled down her front onto the towel.

Once his wife was out of sight, Jack looked on his child to assess the situation. Stella was already in her pyjamas, so Jack wiped Stella’s mouth clean and then her clothes until only a faint stain was left. Then he spoke to her. Whatever thought his mind picked out of many, he said to his daughter: what happened at work today, what he was like as a tyke, what colours were around them. As he chatted, Stella soothed herself with his sentences stroking her into stillness. Upon the instant her serenity was achieved, Jack placed her in bed, kissed her head, and left the nursery with only the lamp on and the door closed.

Both parents let Stella cry for a little, Jack while he was making the tea, Genevieve while she washed her face. It was different to when she had been sick; there was less effort in it, just a soft moan. Stella had worn herself out to the point where she simply dropped off. Genevieve leant on the sink, deep breaths from the nurse’s office returning to calm herself. Using the flannel, she wiped away a tear that forced its way down her cheek.

On tiptoe, Jack ascended the stairs at a snail’s pace. Every creak of the staircase was amplified to tear across the house. Every tick of the clock downstairs was like a gun’s steady firing.

His tea was abandoned by Genevieve, who simply lay down in bed. Now she could define this feeling, drinking tea didn’t feel like a priority.

_______________________________________________________

The negative of sleeping early is waking early. For once, Genevieve opening her eyes before sun up was not caused by a wailing down the hall. The bedroom door was being closed and the click of the doorknob was what pulled her from her sleep that was lighter than a feather. She sat herself up to see Jack, holding a glass of water in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other. Once again, she didn’t recall actually going to sleep.

And suddenly now seemed a good time to ask.

“Can I talk about something please?”

“Of course,” and Jack moved to her side of the bed. Genevieve looked down, pushing her hand back and forth on her thigh, across her scar.

“I had a dream about the plane the other night. The German one we saw on the way back to Dorset. The noise it made, and it just kept coming closer. It was like I was stuck in treacle. I couldn’t even scream; it just clogged up my throat and I couldn’t breathe.”

During her speech, cautiously, Jack had knelt in front of her. The couple flinched at the floorboards beneath the carpet making themselves known with a groan, harmonising with the clink of his glass on the bedside table. Once they had ceased their song, Jack leant closer between her legs, his forehead close to hers.

“It’s not coming back, you shot that plane down,” He whispered.

However, reality wasn’t comforting to Genevieve. It rather had the opposite effect on here, setting her stomach ablaze with anxiety. Her head ached at his words.

“I didn’t think. I just took your flare gun, made you stand so I could use you to kill someone, like that.”

“Would have killed us if you and Dawson hadn’t done anything.”

Shaking her head, Genevieve disregarded what he was saying, tried again to say what she wanted to say that morning, “I didn’t think then but it’s all I do now. Think about how many people I got killed. I missed on that one too, was aiming for the cockpit. Quick death. Just like the others, because that’s all I could offer. You praised me for it!”

Her rambling ceased before it could reach a volume that would the sleeping babe next door. It was in a tense ten seconds that she took deep breaths to calm herself and waited for Jack’s reply.

It came in the form of her face being held, her eyes held in a gentle stare with him as he spoke: “You did what you had to. We both killed people, but we had to. Or else we wouldn’t be here, and Stella would be going through that. She might not have existed. Or worse: she’d be under the Nazis’ rule.”

Genevieve pressed her hands against Jack’s, “The nurse thinks I should go to the hospital, with Stella.”

Jack stilled between her palms and her cheeks, his voice hoarse, “A hospital?”

“I feel worse than when I did before she came, when you found me in the garden,” and Genevieve felt such frustration that she was crying again, “I feel so helpless here on my own. I know I’m not, but I feel it so deeply.”

Her hand flapped against her chest, reaching for her heart where all the pain boiled up. It slapped against her thigh when the build up of crying

“I’ll be check on her,” Jack said, kissing her lips quick with a rough bristle of his moustache, “I’ll be back in a sec.”

Jack hated seeing both his loves in pain. So he resolved to help Stella quick to get back to Genevieve’s long term problem. Part of him felt she had spent too much time in a hospital to go back. That part went into the back of his mind as he flicked on the light to the nursery.

“Oh, Stella Cosmos Josie Blancmange Collins!” Jack yawned. Stella didn’t hear him over her crying, such a gut-wrenching noise to hear that Jack didn’t even laugh at his joke. Dropping to her side, he wiped each of her tears away, clicking his tongue. When she was soothed enough that she had stopped shaking, Jack autonomously lifted her up from the cot and sniffed her nappy. Though he was in the know about late night romps with his baby and her crying, he would never grow accustomed to how stiff she would be when he held her in these times.

“Hey, it’s ok,” He hummed, lowering her onto the changing mat already out on the floor, “What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna clean you up and then we’re gonna get you back to a comfy ole sleep.”

He started popping off her sleepwear. It wasn’t a marvellous smell and Jack had to hold her feet still as he undid the latches, for her thighs had smeared themselves in what was in the cloth. It was then that Stella started to cry again, and not just tears, with screams too.

“Please, stop crying,” Jack stroked her wobbling cheeks, “Please. Your Ma needs rest. Stella, my darlin’.” God, why couldn’t she understand him? Why couldn’t he understand her? He quickly wrapped her back up, nice and clean as promised, but still she screamed. Her face was red with effort. The downy hairs on her brow were damp.

“Your Ma’s not doing well either. I’m sure she’ll bounce back. She always does. Strongest woman ever, your ma.” He consoled, trying to stay positive but he could already feel how Genevieve felt all day, every day. “Come on, Stella, work with me here.”

As he spun on the spot to try and entertain his baby into a slumber, Jack found Genevieve had followed him to the nursery and was watching him.

“Hey, I got the night shift,” He quietly reminded her.

Still, Genevieve moved closer and offered to take her, “It’s too hot to do anything, even sleep alone in bed.” With that, she eased Stella from him, and into her arms, “Hello, love, let’s try to get you off to sleep.”

When she was lowered her back into the cot, Stella began to whimper again. Genevieve knelt beside it, her arm through the bars and her hand carefully landed on Stella’s tummy. Jack followed her to the floor, sitting behind her and leaning his head between her shoulder blades. One hand rubbed next to his head.

“You should go to bed,” Genevieve said as quietly as she could whilst still trying to be heard, “You have work.”

“As do you, with this one. Plus, I’ve been given the day off tomorrow.”

Not once did he budge in the hour that Stella cried before settling down. He didn’t even crack his overdone joke: that if they had named her Sunny, the irony would have killed them.

It was never white noise, her gasping for breath before bawling with all her might one of the most unsettling to hear. When she finally rested her lungs to sleep, she still whined. Genevieve almost joined her in sleep, her head against the bars, Jack in her back. Both slumped at the same time, catching each other just before colliding with the floor. Only then did they collect each other and take their leave of the room.

As they fell into bed, Jack turned to his wife, “Ginny, would you hold me please?”

And Genevieve kicked away their covers and embraced her husband. His body was like a furnace bundled in cotton pyjamas. Nuzzling into the back of his neck, she kissed on his hairline and breathed in the lingering aftershave smell from his neck. He must’ve shaved this morning.  

For both their sake, Genevieve whispered, “We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

Jack squeezed her hand, then he kissed it, “Of course. The team.”

_______________________________________________________

Everything Tag: @tomgcsglasses and @nasabeck

Dunkirk Tag:@lowdenglynnstyles, @kgcurtis30, @carneylowdenwhitehead, @theres-no-paradise, @blondeeee-e, @luleraina, @starryrevelations and @orphan-with-a-stutter

Jack Lowden Tag: @musicallisto, @adriennelenoir, @lowdensnose, @from-the-clouds, @johannalauraaa, and @lowdenfanpage

Complementary Tag: @you-are-the-first-dream, @disneydirectioner, @lavidademarimar, @sweetsugarhoneyfics, and @prettyboytgc

[northern-angel]

Cooke Household round 1

Julien Cooke

Aspiration: Popularity/Knowledge

LTW: Become Celebrity Chef

Job: Fast Food Shift manager (Culinary Level 3)

OTH: Cuisine

ACR Preference: Bisexual

We start with Julien cooking himself some breakfast.

Then, presumably after he ate the food he cooked, he moves on the daily crossword puzzle in the paper.

And then does some skill-related reading.

After all that I was thoroughly bored so I sent him out to the Veronaville Market, hoping something interesting might happen. Apparently he doesn’t like the flowers I used to decorate around the beautiful pond I built. Screw you Julien!

Now if George McCarthy thinking “who is this dapper gentleman?” or is he thinking “Dude it’s the 21st century, not the 19th!”

Julien is very happy with his aesthetic though, so who cares what forever teen over there thinks.

Maybe someone will come play with him?

These two are immediate Double Bolters, even if Nina is a bit of a sore loser.

Is Edwin Sharpe doing the kitten startle reflex or is he mocking the Human Statue NPC’s artistry?

Nina heads off to grab a bite, and I notice Florence Delarosa is walking by. I had somewaht hoped these two might be a match, but alas zero chemistry (I had also thought Julien might make a good match for Kent Capp, but again no lightning bolts)

Still despite their lack of sexual sparkage, the two hit it off and Florence thinks about kissing.

Silly Dormie and Host NPC, I do not care enough about you for you to get to marrying into a Playable family. But I will flail if Julien’s only good matches are the Sims equivalent of Red Shirts.

Oh great, just what the lot needed.

Should I be worried about Julien? Or is if perfectly normal to discuss trains with an empty seat...

Nothing sinister happening behind you at all there Julien.

Nina comes over to discuss their respective meals, whilst Romeo wonders if anyone would notice him eating those leftovers. The answer is yes, Hermia will totally notice and judge you and tell her sister.

I feel that Nina might be making a bit of a low blow here, I mean hate the Unsavoury Charlatan because he’s a conman and thief, not because you find him repellant sexually.

That waitress is totally pissed off that they are conversing in the worst possible place.

Back at home Julien has a nap in his new recliner (I really wish Sims could nap on their beds like they can in Sims 3)

And then off to work.

Whilst at work this chance card comes up. I mean who chooses the first option? It’s a burger place, people will be pissed off if there are no burgers.

Fortunately this choice goes well for me, but I know I’ve had a bad outcome choosing that way before.

Not only did he get a skill point and a bonus, but also a promotion to Host.

I think he’s talking to Florence there, but it could be Nina or someone else. I don’t know ok.

Off to work in his snazzy new uniform the next day.

And this time it’s a hobby chance card.

It’s a good thing I’d already had this one whilst playing the Pleasants.

Julien invites Florence over after work.

He really likes her milkshake, he’s just concerned he might be lactose intolerant.

For a supposedly skilled chef, Julien doesn’t actually have that many cooking skill points.

They end the night deciding that they make great friends but nothing else.

This must be the next day after work, and I assume he’s chatting to someone on that doorstep of a laptop.

And then I sent him out to the makeover of the Old Silo Farm. The next few pictures are just me showing off how pretty this lot is. I apologise!

Oh look here’s Julien cooking some burgers. That’s the sort of thing you’re all actually reading for right?

Julien likes the look of Lola, so I send him over to meet her. I think Ana Patel recognises Julien from work.

Another scenery pic, but have you ever seen such pretty toilets in your life?

Julien and Lola hit it off very quickly, possibly because Lola is under the false impression that Julien has money.

Thinks start to take a more romantic turn, and this is the point that I remember that Lola is already dating Ajay Loner. Oops.

Everyone loves being tickled in the Sims world, what kind of freakish world is that?

And now some kickey bag in the pouring rain.

Lola subtly feels Julien out over the size of his bank balance, and a lightning bolt nicely lights the scene. I need to go put more lights on this lot.

Some cute flirting going on here.

And now Julien is crushing on this beautiful green-skinned goddess.

Dancing in the rain.

And Julien goes in for his first kiss.

I had never noticed how pointy Julien’s ears where before this, and now I have this whole headcanon about how he’s adopted and he came to live in Veronaville to ask the Fae Royal Couple to help him track down his Fae parent.

This first kiss is so much better than the one Lola and Ajay had.

Awwww!!!! Also is there no view on this lot that isn’t pretty?

Another kiss, this time overlooking the pond.

Even the rain puddles don’t ruin the romantic atmosphere. Mental note, must send more Veronaville folk on dates to this lot.

Is it her alien genes that make her so strong or does she just hit the gym a lot?

I am incredibly proud of this picture, I just wish it wasn’t quite so dark.

At least in the dark it’s a little harder to see that lovely bright blue accessory mesh fail that is orbiting Lola.

The date ends as a Dream Date. I believe Ajay only managed a Great Date. How do I decide which paramour she stays with? Just lock the first engagement want? Or could they work out as a Thruple? Maybe Ajay isn’t entirely straight...

I have no idea what is going on with their body language here, they almost look like they are about to do a celebratory chest bump or something.

Back at home Lola pops by to leave a bouquet. That is quite the round trip to Strangetown just to leave flowers.

And that’s it for Julien. Hope you’ve enjoyed my silliness.

[insanely-creative-things]

Big Hero 7: The Series

Big Hero 7 : the series

www.fanfiction.net

|

Big Hero 7 S2

Fate of Roommates

*At a sunny day, Heathcliff had just picked up Fred and Minimax from his comic book club and drives their way to SFIT.*

Heathcliff: I trust your funny book club was illuminating Master Frederickson.

Fred: Twas indeed Heathcliff! We took a deep dive into Captain Fancy!

MiniMax: Fred dazzled with his superior comic insights!

Fred: I was the only one who noticed that the artist A.J Doehertz drew himself into the issue as the nosy neighbor Mr. Cameo.

Heathcliff: Oh, delightful discovery sir.

Fred: Oh you should've seen Richardson's face when-Woah!

*Heathcliff suddenly takes sharp turn as a futuristic blue car sped past them. And in front of the limo is a girl on a moped.*

Minimax: Brace for impact.

*But Heathcliff simply dodges hitting the girl and continues driving, where two new futuristic cars are heading towards them.*

Heathcliff: You might wish to hang on.

*And so Heathcliff zooms past the speeding cars at a wild speed, Fred screaming at the top of his lungs over the driving while Minimax flies through the air.*

Minimax: this is exciting!

*Just up ahead is a mother pushing a baby stroller in the way of Heathcliff's car. With smooth moves Heathcliff avoids hitting the mother and child and getting hit by a truck. Soon they are back to normal driving as if nothing had happened. Like a boss.*

Fred: Whoah.

Heathcliff: My apologies sir. Please, continue your riveting story.

*Fred comes running through the doors of the dining hall towards the gang eating their lunch.*

Fred: Guys! Guys! Guys!

*Even when he slides past them and crashes, he gets back up again and runs to the group.*

Fred: Guys guys(x10)! You should have seen these cars! They look like they were from the future! *Gasp!* Maybe they are from the future!

*During his excitement he slams his fist to the table which spills Wasabi's drink onto Baymax and the floor. A Roomba comes by and cleans up the mess.*

Baymax: Oh no.

Wasabi: Fred that was a 12 dollar cold press juice.

Fred: My bad Wasabi, you know time travel gets me all worked up*Picks up Roomba to clean Baymax*Let me get that for you Baymax.

*Hiro pulls out his phone to see the cars Fred was talking about and sees the news.*

Hiro: There was a bank robbery last night. Maybe those were the getaway cars.

Fred: *Whispers* From the future.

Gogo: Or not.

Cora: But you have to admit they do look pretty advanced compared to every other vehicle.

Hiro: There's only one way to find out. Night Patrol.

Fred: *Whispers* In the future...*regular voice* Wait I mean tonight, lets do this tonight.

Honey Lemon: I feel terrible but I can't make it, I'm throwing a sticker party. Its BYOS. Bring your own stickers!

Gogo: *Mutters* Great, not another sticker party.

Honey Lemon: what was that Gogo?

Gogo: I was just saying how sad I am, to miss it... but duty calls.

Honey Lemon: Don't worry we'll have a sticker after-party! Just you and me!

Gogo:...*Sighs* Fine.

Honey Lemon: Fine is gogo for yay!

*Later on Gogo is cleaning her wheels as a drop of her sweat lands on it.*

Gogo: Ugh... its so hot.

Honey Lemon: Oh I turned on the heat! Warm stickers stick best!

Gogo:*Looking at the stickers in Honey's hands* Of course they do.

Honey Lemon: Also, I just got these mood stickers! They change colors!

*Honey Lemon places it on Gogo's forehead and it immediately changes to black.*

Gogo: Wow. Life changing.

Honey Lemon: Uh oh! Looks like someone needs a hug!

*While Honey Lemon hugs Gogo, the shorter one removes the sticker from her forehead and places it underneath the table. Later on the three futuristic cars zoom out of its garages and into the city, where Gogo meets up with the rest of the team as Baymax scans Gogo's wellbeing as she removes the stickers on her suit.*

Baymax: Gogo, your clenched jaw indicates you are frustrated.

Gogo: That's because I just can't with Honey Lemon's bajillion hobbies.

Wasabi: Oh come on how bad can they be?

Gogo: She also plays the electric harp, has a butterfly aviary in her closet, and don't forget her smile-lates.

Hiro: What are 'smile-lates'?

Gogo: Its Palates, but you have to grin like a nitwit through the entire workout.

Fred:*Testing out the smile-lates workout next to Gogo* Guys I can feel it. My cheeks are getting so swol.

Cora: OK...those are just things Honey Lemon does for herself-

Gogo: Oh and she keeps making portraits of me without my knowledge or permission!

Fred: OK, that last part is a little...overstepping your comfort zone.

Cora: How about you talk to her about these things? You've been roommates for some time so communication shouldn't be a problem right?

*Before Gogo could respond the three cars that nearly got Fred to a car crash zoom by the team.*

Hiro: Baymax! Lets go!

*Hiro and Cora jump on Baymax as Fred and Gogo zoom into the action.*

Wasabi: Wait! Can we go back to the surprise portraits for a sec?

Cora:*Via Comm link* Run now! Portraits later Wasabi!

*When the pink car goes off one street Baymax follows.*

Fred:*To cars* Hey Wait important question! What year are you from?!

Wasabi: Really should've brought my car!

Gogo: Hindsight sucks doesn't it?

*Hiro and Cora looks over the car's design and build to study for any weaknesses it could expose. Baymax lands in front of the car and holds out his hand to stop.*

Baymax: This is an unsafe speed.

*It was then that the car levitates above them and resumes speeding past them.*

Baymax: Good jump.

Hiro: Uh guys? These cars can jump.

Cora: And keep an eye out if they do any other stuff too.

*The blue car zooms through the street as Fred is closely behind.*

Fred: Yeah? Well so can I!

*He gets on top of the car and holds on for dear life as the driver tries to shake him off.*

Fred: Oh I should've come up with a second part of this plan!

*The car flips over and slams Fred into a bullseye billboard nearby.*

Fred: Whoa... my swol cheeks saved me.

*Now its Gogo and the yellow car in the streets. She strikes her disc into the side where the wheels are supposed to be one and knocks it off, leading it to skid through the streets. But up ahead is an elderly lady walking along, unaware of the car skidding towards her. But thankfully Baymax arrives with Hiro throwing his magnetic dics to repel the car away from the old lady and into the ground. Baymax lands as Hiro and Cora gets down, the girl's left fist slowly cackling with electricity just in case the driver means business. Soon Fred joins in.*

Gogo: Ok! Out of the car!

*But when there was no response Hiro goes over to the car and actvates the pod, revealing nothing inside.*

Hiro: Remote driver? huh...

Cora: Who's been operating these cars?

*Wasabi finally arrives at the scene from a taxi and joins the team.*

Wasabi: Sorry guys! there was a lot of traffic.

Fred: Whats that?

*Fred picks up a purple coin with an image of a car engraved to it.*

Cora: Good eye Fred.

Fred:*Reading the coin* Maximum insane driving challenge...*Gasps* Mr. Sparkles!

Hiro: He's back?!

*Meanwhile, Mr. Sparkles is talking to the remotes controlling the cars.*

Mr. Sparkles:*Laughs* Too bad so sad! Wha-Wha-whaaa~ Racer numero uno you are black flagged!

Racer 1: Not fair! Big Hero 7 got in my way!

Mr. Sparkles: Hey! The maximum insane driving challenge is a real time race! On the real life streets of San Fransokyo! There's gonna be obstacles and the occasional super hero!

Driver 1: Still not fair!

Mr. Sparkles: I know! Like life!

*The driver gets dunked onto a pool of water in response.*

Mr. Sparkles: All the winners of the Maximum Insane Driving Challenge win a pair of these fabulous, cashmere lined driving gloves! *To Driver one on the ground* Not you! You go now!

*The ex driver gets off the pool to head home in defeat.*

Mr. Sparkles: I'll find a new driver worthy of these luxurious, cashmere lined driving gloves!

*The other two drivers stare at Mr. Sparkles fawning over the gloves.*

Mr. Sparkles: Hey! this is a private moment between me and the gloves.

*Later on that night, Gogo is heading back to her apartment where she hears the sticker party happening and voices speaking.*

Honey Lemon: This is so exciting!

Gogo: Oh great, the sticker party is still here.

*Gogo opens the door to show instead, the gang with Esme and Miyuki, the two girls being SFAI students.*

Fred: Uh oh! Gogo's in the house!

*Honey Lemon runs up to Gogo and gives her a big hug.*

Gogo: Umm... What's going on?

Honey Lemon: Gogo, I know how much you treasure your space and I know I've invaded it with my stickers and my smile-lates and my surprise portraits.

Miyuki: *Looking at the portraits* Aside from the word surprise, you did a good job Honey Lemon!

Gogo: Honey Lemon... where are you getting at?

Honey Lemon: I asked Miyuki to defrost my dorm room and it worked! SFIT says I'm allowed back to my dorm which means you can have your apartment back!

*The gang cheer as Miyuki throws a puff of snowflakes to act as confetti.*

Gogo: Oh! Wow! Finally!

*But as the words sink in...so did Gogo's mood at the realization of Honey Lemon...not being at her apartment anymore.*

Gogo: I'm free..

*At Joe's diner the next day Hiro, Cora, Fred, and Baymax meet up with Felony Carl and Globby.*

Felony Carl: So, whats with airbags here?

Cora: He's Baymax remember?

Baymax: I am a personal, health care companion.

Felony Carl: You seem extremely huggable.

Hiro: Look, we need some information.

Fred: Globby said you know whats up when down, whats going around, pretty much all of the directions.

Globby: Felony Carl and I go way back. I knew him when he was just Misdemeanor Carl.

Felony Carl:Yeah, and you were still human. *To Hiro* Time flies, carpe diem so they day. Well the romans say anyway.

Fred: *Pulls out the coin* Recognize this?

Cora: He found it in the car we caught last night.

Felony Carl: I may or may not have heard about an emotionally unstable man boy handing them out. Mr. Sprinkles.

Hiro: Sparkles.

Felony Carl: If you say so. The freaks running some drone car race for well to do thrill seekers.

Fred: How 'well to do' are we talking?

Cora: And whats he offering as a price?

Felony Carl: Ascots... and monocles. and the price is a pair of fancy gloves.

Fred: Ascots and monocles...hmm.

Hiro: And all for a pair of gloves?

Felony Carl: Mr. Sprinkles is also working for some big fella, volatile, dry cleans his track suits.

Fred, Hiro, and Cora: Yama!

Hiro: Baymax, can you bring up the map of San Fransokyo?

*Baymax activates the map on his belly and shows the routes the cars had taken.*

Baymax: Tap to zoom.

Hiro: Felony Carl show us where you saw Yama and Sparkles.

Felony Carl: I'm not saying nothing, but...

*Felony Carl taps on the location of the meeting and leaves the table, but not before he looks at Cora.*

Felony Carl: By the way, there's been no funny business happening with your uncle right?

Cora: Nope. Nothing too serious, he is talking more. But still iffy about... *eyes Hiro and Fred* meeting other people.

Felony Carl: Close enough. Also, *Death glare* if I hear him doing any funny business with you and your boyfriend, he's gonna answer to me.

Hiro: *Nervously gulps* We'll keep it in mind Felony Carl.

Felony Carl: Good *To Baymax* Now we hug.

*And so Felony Carl and Baymax hug. Meanwhile Gogo Is studying over her blueprints when Honey Lemon pops by.*

Honey Lemon: Hey Gogo sorry for all the boxes. Hopefully with Esme and Miyuki helping me I'll be out by the end of the week.

Gogo: Really? So you're just going to stiff me for your half of the rent?

Honey Lemon: Of course not! *Pulls out her phone to show the rent money* I already cash-garoo you my half of the rent for three months.

Gogo: Oh! That's really nice of you.

*Honey Lemon smiles at Gogo before she leaves, where soon Hiro, Cora, and Baymax go over to Gogo to tell the news.*

Hiro: Hey we got a lead on sparkle.

Gogo: Yay...

Hiro: What did I say?

Cora: Hiro, could you go check on Gogo's hypercycle blueprints and see if its functional?

Hiro: Sure.

*Hiro walks over to tell the rest of the group while Baymax and Cora stay behind to check on Gogo.*

Cora: Something wrong Gogo?

Baymax: I am programmed to provide emotional support.

Gogo: Baymax, Cora, I'm fine.

Baymax: Your slumped shoulders and the lower pitch of your voice are indicators that you are not fine.

Cora: seriously Gogo, you can tell us.

Gogo: I don't need-

Baymax: Sharing feelings can be difficult, but can lead to a better outcome.

Cora: So spill, whats going on?

Gogo:... *sighs* You're right Baymax. *to Cora* and.. its about Honey Lemon... She's actually moving out... and I just feel...*grunts*.. I'm gonna miss her

Cora: OK, then go do what Baymax says and talk to Honey Lemon about the move.

* And so Gogo goes to Honey Lemon to talk.*

Gogo: Hey Honey Lemon, look it might be a good idea for me to share.

*Honey Lemon blinks as her as Gogo gathers her courage to confess to the peppy tall girl.*

Gogo:... My pencil!... there you go.

*Honey Lemon takes Gogo's pencil.*

Honey Lemon: Oh thanks!~ That's really sweet!

*As Honey Lemon walks away Baymax and Cora look at Gogo. Baymax blinks as Cora purse her lips in judgement.*

Gogo: Stop judging me with your blinks Baymax.

Hiro:*Walking up to Gogo* Hey Gogo! I ran some aerodynamics on your hypercycle and its good to go.

Gogo: Great.

*Gogo walks away as Baymax and Cora step out to talk to Hiro.*

Hiro: What'd I say?

Baymax: Gogo is emotionally vulnerable at the moment.

Cora: And it involves a certain chem genius.*Pulls out her phone and starts texting.*

Hiro: You're texting everyone about Yama and Sparkles?

Cora; Yup... and Miyuki and Esme about a certain Biker chick.

Hiro: Gogo would kill you, you know.

Cora: She could kill after we deal with Yama and Sparkles *Shudders in memory of her being in a bird cage.*

*Later on; Minimax, Wasabi, Fred, Hiro, and Cora are at Fred's room looking at the pictures of Yama and Mr. Sparkles.*

Fred: So whats the plan here?... I always wanted to say that!

Hiro: Normally we send someone in undercover to get more info but...

Wasabi: Mr. Sparkles and Yama would instantly recognize all of us.

Hiro: Exactly.

Cora: And I'm dead meat if I try to go Mystery Angel.

Wasabi: OK, so we need someone we can trust...

Hiro: who looks extremely rich...

Cora: Knows his way around the race tracks...

Fred: And is also a great driver.

*Just then Heathcliff comes through the door.*

Heathcliff: May I be of service Master Frederickson?

Fred: Wait! That's it! I know exactly who our driver should be!

Minimax: I'll do it!

Fred: I think somebody is ready for the nappity nap sleepity boop!

Minimax: I am not ready for my nappity nap sleepity boop! I am ready to defend justice!

Cora:*stern, warning tone* Minimax?

Minimax: I'm sorry Cora. I am ready for my nappity nap sleepity boop Fred.

*Fred picks up minimax and cradles him in his arms.*

Fred: Hush little Minimax, go to sleep. Boop!~

*And like that Minimax is out like a light.*

Cora: *Whispers* That was adorable.

Fred: *Whispers* Thanks.

*Soon all five of them, including a sleeping Minimax, contact Fred's father.*

Fred: Dad, you got any words of wisdom for our boy Heathcliff here before he faces Sparkles?

Frederickson the III: I've always hated fighting screwball villains. No respect for the game.

Hiro: Whatabout going undercover as a rich thrill seeker Mr. Frederickson?

Frederickson the III: Heathcliff doesn't need my advice; he's the best in the bizz. Back when I plucked Heathcliff out of butler school I schooled him on undercover work. Doctor, banker, hot air balloon enthusiast, he could pull the wool over his mother's eyes.

Heathcliff: Oh indeed sir. I relish the opportunity to serve Mr. Sparkles some hot justice underglass.

*That is when Minimax wakes from his nap and springs into action.*

Minimax: I like the way you talk about justice!

*Minimax brings out his fist to Heathcliff for a fistbump.*

Heathcliff: Oh um, thank you, Master Minimax.

*He fistbumps Minimax in return. Back at the lab, Gogo is setting up her hypercycle while Hiro and Cora are with Honey Lemon and Baymax.*

Hiro: Cora and I are gonna help Honey Lemon move her dresser Gogo, you good?

Gogo: Yeah, yeah. Thanks Hiro.

Cora: Esme and Miyuki are coming over soon bringing some lunch here. Just in case.

*With that, the three people leave. Baymax looks at Gogo before he sees Miyuki and Esme enter inside with some yaki tacos.*

Miyuki: Hi Baymax! How's it hanging?

Baymax: I am good. Thank you Miyuki.

Esme: So where's Gogo?

*Baymax points over to Gogo working on her project. Esme looks at Miyuki and nods at her; receiving a nod back the two girls put aside the food and walk over to Honey Lemon, with Baymax following them close.*

Esme: Hey, Gogo. Interesting project you got there.

Gogo; Thanks.. *Looks at Baymax* What now? More emotional support?

Baymax: Yes. Would you like a hug?

Gogo: I'm good. but thanks.

Hiro:*Through the door* Baymax, come on! *Sees the two girls* Oh! Esme! Miyuki!

Miyuki and Esme: Hiya Hiro.

Esme: *To Baymax* Yeah, you should go Baymax, this is something we girls need to discuss... alone.

Baymax:*Blinks* OK. Goodbye.

*As Baymax waddles towards Hiro, the two girls look at Gogo as Miyuki starts speaking.*

Miyuki: Ok, lets cut to the chase. You're being moody ever since Honey Lemon announced she is moving out and despite being annoyed at her hobbies, you're gonna miss her being there right?

*Gogo stops at her work and turns around.*

Gogo: Who told you?

Esme: Cora texted us about this. Said you chickened out telling Honey Lemon how you feel about this.

Gogo; Ugh. I swear I'm gonna kill her for this!

Miyuki: *Uses her finger to create an ice tipped fingernail* Not until you confess whats really going on in your head.

Gogo: *Grunts*...Fine! I... I...

Esme: You know for a chick who says woman up to make someone pull of the bandage and get it over with, you're pretty bad at acting on your own phrase.

Gogo: Fine! You want to know? I'm gonna miss Honey Lemon when she goes back to her dorm! I'm gonna miss her butterfly aviary! I'm gonna miss her electric harp playing! I'm gonna miss her smile-lates! I'm even gonna miss her stupid sticker parties! Maybe its cause I like how Honey Lemon brights up the room even if I didn't want to! Maybe its cause how I'll miss her showing me cat videos at 5 am! Maybe its because I gotten so used to her living with me and saying hello every morning! Maybe its cause I love her-!

*When Gogo sees the shocked expressions of esme and Miyuki, Gogo's face blushes into a giant tomato. She quickly gets up but Miyuki freezes her feet.*

Miyuki: Did you just say.. you love Honey Lemon?

Esme: As in... Love-Love?

*Gogo's glaring yet red face is enough of an answer than they need. Finally Miyuki brings over the taco and shoves it to Gogo. Esme then puts a hand on Gogo's shoulder.*

Esme: Gogo... you know more than anyone else, aside from Baymax, that not sharing these feelings will make you do something stupid right?

*Gogo does not say anything, her face remaining its embarrassed form.*

Miyuki: *sighs* You know what? You can't keep quiet about this forever. And who knows? Maybe Honey Lemon feels the same way.

*Gogo blinks as the frost on her feet disappears and sees Miyuki walk out the door, her eyes ringing with memory... about Tadashi. Esme then hands her a water bottle and walks out.*

Esme: So go out there, find Honey Lemon, and woman up.

*Gogo looks at her food and then to Honey Lemon's chem set, seeing through her minds eyes the memories of her crazy expirements, her joyful laughter, her enthusiasm, how she would attempt to cheer up their friends during troubling times. All this brings a warm smile to her face. Later that night, Heathcliff is with Fred, dressed in his Fredmelian costume in the limo near the place where the street racing begins.*

Heathcliff: Sir, we have arrived at the abandoned warehouse the felonious gentleman identified.

Fred: Great! Now remember, if you get in ant trouble, Fredmelian is nearby.

Heathcliff: Oh thank you sir. I'm sure we'll make a cracking good team.

*Fred activates his camouflage as Heathcliff goes towards the door and knocks on it. The slide eye opener opens to see Heathcliff.*

Heathcliff: Greetings, I am a well to do thrill seeker in pursuit of a pair of a new driving gloves. Cashmere lined perhaps?

*And with a monocle the guy lets in Heathcliff.*

Fred: *Whispers* Nice sell on the monocle!

*Fred slithers inside while the door is still open. Elsewhere Yama and Mr. Sparkles are hanging.*

Heathcliff: Good evening gentlemen. Rumor has it you're organizing a test of competence operating automobiles and high velocities.

Yama:Hmm?

Mr. Sparkles: Uncle Moneybags wants to race! You're in luck! My boyo here, just cranked up our ride so nobody can touch them. Not the heat! Not the superweirdos.

Heathcliff: Sounds peachy.

Yama: How peachy?

*Heathcliff pulls out his case and opens it to reveal it being filled up with cash.*

Mr. Sparkles: Extra peachy. Well well well, well-to do thrill seeker you're in!*Smothers himself in the gloves*

Fred: Ew!

*The two criminals hear a voice but don't see a body.*

Heathcliff: A thousand apologies sir, my monocle is squeaky. Needs Waxing.

Mr. Sparkles: Sure, that'll happen. I guess... Nine o'clock! Be ready for the ride of your life!

Heathcliff: I have dedication to acceleration.

*Heathcliff hands over the suitcase of case to Mr. Sparkles and walks off.*

Mr. Sparkles: Hey! Wax that monocle! Cha ching!

*He then throws it to Yama's face.*

Yama: Ouch!

Mr. Sparkles: Op! My bad, sorry! thought you were gonna catch it!

*Mr. Sparkles then walks into his 'office' with Yama.*

Yama: I'm not your boyo!

Mr. Sparkles: You're right! That gorgeous smile belongs to the world-

Yama: Sparkle! Be serious! Someone's going to-

: Figure out Maximum Insane Driving Challenge is just a diversion! To keep the law busy while we commit crimes? That's the insane part!

*Yama flips the switch on an old fan to show a vault of money behind a painting of money.*

Mr. Sparkles: But this time its going to be worth all the risk! Stealing Captain Fancy number 8!

*Unbeknownst to them Fred is in the room in camouflage mode, and he overheard it all.*

Yama: The comic book? I have a reputation!

Mr. Sparkles: Not just any comic book silly! The most valuable, comic book in the world!

Yama: Where is it?

Mr. Sparkles: Richardson's rare comics.

Yama: You sure the most valuable?

Mr. Sparkles: Ah ha! I knew you couldn't resist! Boyo!

Yama: Don't call me boyo! Freak.

*After the criminals leave the room, Fred turns off his camoflouge.*

Fred: Robbing banks is one thing, but comic books!? Now they've gone too far!

*After many hours, Gogo goes back to her apartment where she sees a majority of Honey Lemon's stuff neatly packed.*

Gogo: Looks like you're all packed up.

Honey Lemon: Yeah, almost! I should be out of your hair by tomorrow!

Gogo:Oh… that soon?... Honey Lemon?

Honey Lemon: Yeah?

Gogo: Look...*Sighs* I don't know how to say this... but-

Honey Lemon: *Pulls out the pencil Gogo gave her earlier* Do you want your pencil back? Cause, I really don't need it.

Gogo:No, I-

*Honey Lemon's phone buzzes and so she answers the call.*

Hiro: Yama and Sparkles are hitting Richardson's comic book store tonight. Meet us there.

Honey Lemon: Oh no! I'll go grab my chem purse!

*As Honey Lemon prepares herself for tonight, Gogo sighs at her failed attempt to talk to Honey Lemon.*

Gogo:... Well this is going well...*Pulls out the sticker underneath the desk and sighs*

*The remote controlled cars are up and ready for the road. The first two drivers put on their helmets as Heathcliff momentarily gets confused before Fred gently puts it on his head.*

Fred: Good luck!

Heathcliff: Thank you, invisible sir.

Mr. Sparkles: Ready roadsters? Time to play Maximum Insane Driving challenge! Who will win these silk soft cashmere lining driving gloves?

*The three drivers insert the special coin to start the race.*

Peter:*To Heathcliff* Anyone ever tell you that you look like a butler?

Dereck: *To Heathcliff* Yeah, can you fetch me an ice tea?

Peter:*Laughs* Nice on Dereck.

Dereck: Thanks Peter!

Heathcliff:*To self* I'm going to relish this.

*The three drivers set up their controllers as they prepare for the race.*

Mr. Sparkles: On your marks, get set, Go!

*And so pushing metal to the pedal all three zoom off their cars into the streets of San Fransokyo. Meanwhile, the rest of Big Hero 7 arrive across the street from Richardson's comic book store. Cora looks down and sees a flashlight coming from inside the already closed store.*

Cora: They're here already.

Hiro: We'll catch them by surprise.

*Yama is shuffling through the comic store, thankfully unaware of the mole hole entrance, when the light turn on to which Yama sees is Big Hero 7.*

Hiro: Looking for something?

Cora: A certain comic book perhaps?

Yama: Its not here!

Gogo: Nice try *pulls out disc* hand it over.

Yama: Its not here! I've looked everywhere!

Wasabi: Then why would Mr. Sparkles say it was here?

Gogo: Unless...

Cora: He set him up!

*Yama receives a text just then that confirms their suspicions.*

Yama: That little Freak did set me up!

*Meanwhile the police are after the cars as they drive through the streets. Up ahead being an elderly woman crossing the street. The three cars fly over the woman while the police cars stop barely in time to avoid hitting her. When the old woman turns her head to see that the cops had barely avoided hitting her, she smacks the hood and continues on her way. Which results in the airbags to activate. In an attempt to swerve Heathcliff off course, Dereck nearly knocks out his car before Heathcliff regains control. Heathcliff drives backwards to join the pink car, to which Dereck realizes that in that attempt, he went off course. *

Dereck: Ah F-

*His car drives into the bay, sinking to the deep.*

Mr. Sparkles: Game over loser!

*Dereck is dropped to the pool as a result. Leaving Heathcliff with the other lone driver to compete. *

Heathcliff: Be a dear and fetch me an ice tea.

Hiro: Fred, Mr. Sparkles double crossed Yama. He's gonna get away!

Fred: All good, Fredmeleon's on it!

*Using his tongue he swings over to office only to find it empty.*

Fred: *Whispers* Sparkles isn't here.*Regular voice* Wait Sparkles isn't here I don't know why I'm whispering. *Opens safe and finds it empty.* Oh boy, and he emptied the safe.

Honey Lemon: If Mr. Sparkles isn't there, where is he then?

*Turns out Mr. Sparkles got into the pink car with all the cash and driving gloves with him.*

Mr. Sparkles: *Admiring gloves* Oh like a butterfly's kiss. Maximum insane manual mode!

*He activates the car to be operated manually, leaving Peter no control of his car.*

Peter: I've lost control of my car!

Mr. Sparkles: Thanks for not playing loser!

*Peter is then dunked to the pool, now leaving Heathcliff alone to stop Mr. Sparkles at his game.*

Heathcliff:*Cracking knuckles* This is for all the butlers.

*He sets up his controller to catch up to Mr. Sparkles and land in front of him, forcing Mr. sparkles to skid aside to avoid hitting the green car.*

Mr. Sparkles: Eat my sparkles!

*Mr. Sparkles then summons forth the robotic chicken he had used for his escapes to take out Heathcliff with giant eggs. Although he did his best to avoid the falling eggs, the last one exploded in front of, the force pushing back the green car and destroying it, making him loose the race.*

Fred: Guys! Mr. Sparkles is in one of the cars and just took out Heathcliff!

Heathcliff: *Falling to the pool* Indeed!

*After an unseen battle which left Yama with an aching crotch and a black eye from Aqua Girl and Electro Alpha respectably, he turns to one of the team members and taunts.*

Yama: You'll never catch him!

Gogo: And you're wrong.

*Gogo fist bumps Hiro as soon as Gogo's skymax delivers her brand new mode of transportation: The Hyper cycle.*

Cora: Go get him Velocity!

Hiro: We'll stay with Yama! Sparkles is all yours!

*And so Gogo zooms off with her cycle. Soon she spots the car that has Sparkles inside.*

Mr. Sparkles: Welcome to the party Velocity! Too bad you weren't invited!

*He rams the car to her side to knock her out of the road. When he focuses on the mirror he thought he succeeded... only for Gogo and her hypercycle remaining intact. She opens up a weapon from her cycle which soon fries out the circuits of his car, leaving him vulnerable.*

Mr. Sparkles: Bet your cycle can't do this!

*He activates the eject button, the only one that works, and flies up to his get away chicken machine.*

Mr. Sparkles: You haven't seen the last of me!

*And so the chicken flies off with the coward on its back, leaving Gogo with the car to catch.*

Hiro: Chem Princess! Velocity!

Honey Lemon: On it Alpha!

*Honey Lemon throws three of her chemballs to cushion the car into a bubble, though Hiro pushes her out of the way as it bounces through the streets... which just so happens to be heading towards a mother and her baby crossing the street. Gogo zooms faster to save them as the mother stops in shock of the upcoming car. Luckily Heathcliff comes driving full course and uses the limousine to smack the car bubble to the billboard which so happens to have Mr. Sparkles face on it.*

Honey Lemon and Hiro: Wow!

*As the mother cradles her baby, Heathcliff steps out of the car and is greeted by Big Hero 7, congratulating him and Gogo.*

Wasabi: That was amazing!

Hiro: Nice driving!

Cora: Those were some Sick moves dude!

Yama: Yeah! We did it haha! Team work yeah!

*The team look at Yama before Cora zaps him again.*

Cora: You're still going to jail. Nice try though.

Yama: Not again.

*And the police arrives at the scene.*

Baymax: You failed because you and Mr. Sparkles did not communicate honestly.

*Baymax just so happens to look at Gogo when he said this.*

Gogo: Yeah, I get it.

Cora: *To Baymax* Did you just throw Shade at Gogo?

Baymax: My shadow does not shield Gogo from any lights blinding her.

*Cora shakes her head but smiles none the less. The next day, everyone, even Esme and Miyuki, are carrying the final boxes to move out of Gogo's apartment.*

Honey Lemon; Well, I think that's everything! Lets go!

Gogo: Wait!

*Everyone looks at Gogo, who is holding a box in her arms before taking a deep breath. Realizing whats going on, Esme and Miyuki push everyone else up the stairs.*

Fred: Hey whats going up?

Hiro: Why are we heading upstairs.

Esme: Giving them space!

*And so with the rest of the gang out of the room, leaving Gogo with Honey Lemon, she takes another deep breath before speaking to her.*

Honey Lemon: Gogo? Whats wrong?

Gogo: everyone knows I don't do feelings, but sometimes its worth it to make an exception...I've really gotten used to living with you and if you leave well... I'll feel...

Honey Lemon: You'll feel?

Gogo: Lonely... and not just cause you're not my roommate anymore... I've... *Sighs* I've gotten so used to you waking me up every morning and saying goodnight that if you go... a part of my heart will be empty...

Honey Lemon: *Blushing as she realizes what Gogo is saying* You mean...

Gogo: Yeah...*She then places the emote sticker over her heart, turning it to a bright red as well as her cheeks.*

*Honey Lemon lets out an airy gasp as she drops her box and rushes over and hugs her.*

Honey Lemon: I love you too Gogo! Of course I want to stay!

*This catches Gogo off guard in surprise, her heart pounding faster than any speed she could've imagined in her life.*

Gogo: You feel the same way too?

Honey Lemon; Yeah! Even if you're no-nonsense mood and cold shoulder can be a little off, every part of you that showed that you push others to be at their best and 'woman up' is what made me fall for you too.

Gogo: …*Giggling before laughing happily*

*That surprised Honey Lemon, to which she started laughing with her as well. Its around this time that the rest of the gang saw what happened between them and smile brightly.*

Hiro: Congrats Gogo.

Cora; You finally womaned up.

Baymax: She has finally communicated her emotions to Honey Lemon completely.

Wasabi: So now they're a couple?

Fred: This is the happiest day of my life!

*Cora sees Miyuki sketch out the scene between Gogo and Honey Lemon. To which they finally let go.*

Honey Lemon: Official Couple selfie!

*Gogo looks at Honey Lemon for a moment before she smiles and joins the selfie.*

Gogo: This does not get posted.

Honey Lemon: Sorry, already did!

*Honey Lemon then sets her way to unpack her things to which Gogo sees the rest of the gang smile at her and give their thumbs up. At first she considers scowlding them until she remembers Baymax's and Esme and Miyuki's words and simply gives a thumbs up back. Hiro and Cora then hug each other as they celebrate their two friends becoming girlfriends. And for that moment, nothing in their life was sweeter than now for Honey Lemon and Gogo...*

Mr. Sparkles: I can't even with Big Hero 7 anymore. But alas that's why I'm here.

*As it turns out Mr. Sparkles had went to Sycorax to meet with Liv Amara with a large duffle bag of cash for payment.*

: I hear you give villains interesting abilities...

*Liv Amara looks inside the bag before she gives a wide smile to the eccentric showman. Already conducting plans for his future*

A.N: Yup. I made Gogo and Honey Lemon girlfriends. Hope you enjoy it! Love you all and thank you for reading BH7!

[datingadviceonreddit]

Congrats, you’ve started to think about moving on and finding someone new. Proud of you. But before you get into another thing, remember this: relationships are expensive!It’s like buying a house. A lot of things need to be in order before you’re even qualified. A healthy relationship is the same.A checklist to consider:1) Are you 100% over your ex? Have you pinpointed your emotional issues?Or are you hoping this new person will distract you? Don’t get into anything before you are totally over your last ex. The next person deserves your full attention and appreciation. Not getting over your ex will cause you to place unfair comparisons on an otherwise possibly awesome person. If you were responsible for some part of the relationship failing, have you held yourself accountable for it and actually worked on it? Don’t just hope that it’ll be “better” the next time around. Actively work on it with a therapist or other support system so that this issue doesn’t become a problem.For me, my issue was codependency. While this didn’t really hurt my ex, it made me fall into a cycle of trying to “fix” people and feeling like I needed to convince them to love me, causing me to waste time with people who just loved my attention, but didn’t actually treat me well. So even if you didn’t actually make the relationship catch fire, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything about yourself that can improve. It’s one thing to start off in a relationship and find out that the other person doesn’t treat you right, it’s another thing to stay in one even after that’s shown.Can you support yourself physically, emotionally, financially, etc?Be honest, is a relationship going to add to your life right now? Or is it going to be a distraction from how bad it currently is? It shouldn’t be the latter. Do you have goals you’re actively working towards? Are you struggling to keep up a consistent routine in your life? Is your sleep schedule ok? What about that addiction? Are you going to therapy consistently? Doing enough self-reflection? Drinking enough water? Eating real food? Are you back in school? Getting that certification? Applying for that job? Are you making time for things and hobbies that make you happy? Are you exercising for at least 30 min a day? Are you practicing self-maintenance (cutting your hair, dressing nice, etc) Do you feel like you have a life outside of a new partner? If the answer is no, you’re not ready. Feeling happy and satisfied alone will increase your chances of being able to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship once you get one. Stop expecting someone to fix all of your problems. Take responsibility, you’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on them. They can support you but they cannot fix you. Either you make life happen or life will just happen to you. Choose wisely. No one is coming to change your life…except for you. At the end of the day, the person you will spend the most time with is yourself, so you might as well make it a quality relationship. Get up, get going, and start making the life you want.Do you know what your boundaries are?Make a list of things you won’t tolerate at all. Memorize it. Live by it. Fall in love with the phrases “no”, “this isn’t going to work for me”, “no, that’s not ok”. Learn the difference between what is worth communicating and what is worth walking away from. Be specific and don’t be scared to stick to it. With this list, you can maximize your chances of repelling people who aren’t compatible with you and attracting people who are. Being your best self+ immovable boundaries= a happy person who is likely to attract a similarly healthy and emotionally ready person.Do want a relationship or do you just want sex?Know the difference. Nothing wrong with just wanting casual sex, but don’t get into a relationship just for that. There are other options that don’t get another person’s emotions involved. You can scratch an itch without breaking a heart.Are you rushing/settling because of societal pressure or pressure from yourself or family?Stop. Again, respect other people’s time and emotions. The journey is different for everyone, and there’s no rush (seriously!). Life your life first, and you’ll attract the right people into it. Don’t rush into a relationship just because you feel left out or because of holiday FOMO or because all of your homies are taken. Get into a relationship because you’re ready to love someone else properly. Not because you feel creepy for still being single. Not because you need someone to take care of you or “save you” from your demons. Not because your grandma asked you why you’re single for the 300th time. Because you’re ready. That can happen today or in ten years. Either is fine, because when you are truly ready, the quality of romance that will come out of it is one that you didn’t even think was possible.RELATIONSHIPS ARE EXPENSIVE. IF YOU WANT A GOOD, HEALTHY ONE, MAKE SURE YOU CAN AFFORD IT!These are the top 5 things I could think of. Lemme know if you have any more suggestions! via /r/dating_advice

[the-knights-who-say-book]

Peep is a hearing aid. It is still getting used to this, because it used to be a regular dragon. And now it is a full-time employed hearing aid dragon, all two inches of it, perched on its sorcerer’s ear.

The sorcerer is named Vigil, which is short for Vigilante. Peep tried to point out to its hapless human that being named after their secret identity is a terrible way of keeping it a secret, but Vigil continues to be named Vigil. (It is ridiculous, in Peep’s eyes, how often its good advice goes ignored.) Vigil’s often-changing gender was another surprise to get used to, since dragons don’t tend to have genders.

“What’s a gender for?” Peep had questioned Vigil on its first day of work as it tried to find the best position to stay hidden behind her ear, while holding onto her piercings for balance.

Vigil hummed thoughtfully before answering, “Decoration, I suppose.”

That might have been a joke, but Peep wasn’t sure.

But being genderfluid was a feature of Vigil, not a problem. No, it was the vigilante thing that was the problem. Every night after the labs had been shut up for the day the other apprentice sorcerers would head off to eat dinner together, or watch some shark jousting at the Oceania, or do other normal activities like flying. Meanwhile, Vigil would murmur a few words under their breath to shield their face with a spell, tuck the lab’s resident firekeeping dragon into their sleeve, and go out to foil evil.

It was a terrible hobby, which Vigil would know if they ever took Peep’s advice.

The root of the problem, Peep had decided, was that Vigil was so caught up with how they could that they never considered whether they should. Yes, Peep’s human was remarkably clever, anyone could see that. Vigil didn’t let the fact that they were only an apprentice sorcerer get in their way— they dyed their hair to look like it had been turned blue by frequent exposure to magic, had Peep sit behind their ear to make the quiet world more understandable, and coaxed the lab’s firekeeping dragon to stay in their sleeve and breathe fire on command. With their face hidden, Vigil passed admirably for a fully grown sorcerer.

But they weren’t one, and that was going to get them in trouble one day if Peep didn’t figure out a way to help them.

“You’re going to get hurt,” Peep informed Vigil as he piled boxes into his arms.

“What are you talking about?” Vigil muttered, balancing the pile with precision. “Nothing in the back room is dangerous.” He sidestepped another apprentice coming into the storage room and emerged behind the counter.

“Not in the back room. You’re going to get hurt while out foiling evil if you keep it up. This woman says thank you and keep the change, and the rude guy next to her is trying to get your attention by snapping.”

Vigil dropped the change into the floating tip jar and turned to the man.

Shifts at the lab’s storefront, where anyone could purchase potion ingredients and charms prepared by the apprentices in the labs, were Peep’s busiest times as a hearing aid. Vigil could hear well enough if it was one well-enunciated person alone speaking, but the chaos of the labs, with everyone talking at once, meant he relied on Peep the most.

“He wants one mud-repelling charm,” Peep reported as the man talked, “and make it quick because he’s an asshole, or because he got mud on his very expensive shoes, something like that.”

Vigil made his thoughtful face while listening, one of the many ways he filled the pauses before he could respond in situations like these. “Sorry, we’re out of those. Can I get you anything else?”

The man did not want anything else.

“He said a bad word at you,” Peep said virtuously, because it considered cursing very terrible unless it was done by someone it approved of.

“I could tell,” Vigil muttered, watching the man storm out.

Peep itself was watching someone else enter the store— a rather short knight-in-training in a very unfashionable cap. Peep considered itself an expert on fashion, as well as on poetry and Vigil’s safety. It was because of its expertise on that latter subject that it noticed the knight-in-training. It watched them go right to the shelves of magical candy on the other side of the room, and approved.

“This little kid at the counter wants ingrediants for a stink potion,” Peep repeated absentmindedly as it mulled over the newcomer, and Vigil went back into the storeroom.

He mumbled the ingredients to himself as he found them on the shelves. “Glass eggs, spider eyes—”

“Gross,” Peep commented. “You need friends.”

“—black-spotted mushrooms. Friends would make this less gross how?”

“They wouldn’t. But they might keep you out of trouble.”

“And that’s exactly why I don’t need any. I like trouble.” Vigil went back to the counter and put the ingredients in the girl’s basket.

Peep took the opportunity to notice the knight-in-training again (they were still examining the candies) before turning back to its duties as a hearing aid.“She says thanks, and also that you need friends.”

“Quit it,” Vigil hissed, and greeted a regular customer who signed their request for a fever-reducing charm.

Peep quitted it for all of ten seconds before Vigil was searching the dusty back corners where the healing charms were stored. “You’re only a baby sorcerer, you can’t go around foiling evil all by yourself. Eventually evil will foil back.”

Vigil objected strongly to being called a baby sorcerer. “I hired a hearing aid, not a babysitter.”

“Wrong,” shouted Peep, who loved being right. “You hired a dragon, and a dragon always knows best.”

“Dragons also always live with several nest-mates, which you don’t have, so you’re one to talk about needing friends.” Vigil snatched a fever charm from where it had fallen on the floor with more violence than necessary and straightened up. There was a guilty pause. Dragons are excellent at telling when pauses are guilty. “I mean...” Vigil said quietly.

“Everyone needs friends,” Peep said, trying not to sound like it was going to cry. Unfortunately, dragons are as terrible at not sounding emotional as they are excellent at discerning guilty pauses.

Vigil stroked the tiny ridges of Peep’s back with one finger. “Hey, I didn’t mean that.” His voice was soft.

“I could have nest-mates if I wanted,” Peep said, still sniffling. Dragons’ lying abilities fall squarely between their skills at recognizing guilty pauses and not sounding emotional.

“Of course you could,” Vigil soothed. “You’re the best dragon I know.”

“Including Crackle?” Peep asked, wanting to be sure. “Crackle isn’t even that great of a firekeeper. I’m much better at being a hearing aid than it is at making fire.” Crackle had three nest-mates and its very own nesting hallow in the chimney over the lab’s fireplace, and was very conceited about it in Peep’s opinion.

Vigil abstained from passing judgement on Crackle. “You’re the best hearing aid a sorcerer could have. I’m sorry for what I said.”

Peep blew its nose on a lock of blue hair. “Ok.”

Vigil winced but didn’t comment on that. At the counter he gave the customer the fever charm and they exchanged a few words in sign language that Peep didn’t need to aid in, giving it time to search the room again for the knight-in-training, who was now carrying over a jar of blue candies to purchase. They looked at the apprentices behind the counter, all busy— and their eyes slid right over Vigil’s face without recognition.

Peep frowned to itself. They would never recognize Vigil as the hero who had saved them the other night on their own, not when Vigil had hid his face so well. Clearly, Peep had to intervene, for Vigil’s own good.

Pushing Vigil’s hair aside, Peep stretched itself out as far as it could without falling off his ear, and flapped its green wings urgently. The knight-in-training, not looking, didn’t notice. Humans were oblivious.

Peep flapped its wings some more, and puffed out some violet smoke. On the other side of the counter, the knight-in-training’s eyes flicked to the fading puff of violet in surprise, and followed it down to the tiny green dragon preening with victory, and then to the sorcerer it was perched on.

“You!” Kit shouted.

Peep quickly returned to its hearing aid position. “That knight person over there says ‘you!’ very loudly,” it told Vigil.

“Fuck,” Vigil whispered, trying to avoid the knight’s glare. “That’s the squire I helped the other night! How did they recognize me?”

“Big mystery,” Peep said unhelpfully.

The knight-in-training pushed their way closer to Vigil’s section of the counter, not to be ignored. “You’re that vigilante!”

“They say you’re a vigilante, and probably good friend material.” Peep gave the knight-in-training a wave. They waved back.

Vigil batted at his ear. “Stop that, stop being friendly! I’m a masked vigilante, people aren’t supposed to know who I am.”

The knight-in-training raised an eyebrow, looking at Vigil’s name tag. “In that case, why is your name literally the first half of the word vigilante? Doesn’t seem very masked to me.”

Peep crowed victoriously. “New friend! Can we keep them?”

the other stories about these characters can be found in my tag here. thanks for reading!

[dontfindyourcenter]

Chapter 23:  You’re Lanakillin’ Me

Rules: https://dontfindyourcenter.tumblr.com/post/177027661290/rules

Previous chapter: https://dontfindyourcenter.tumblr.com/post/178481441120/chapter-22-i-dont-know-about-you-but-heres

After getting a tiny bit lost looking for it, I eventually found that last section of Vast Poni Canyon!  None of the healing items I was hoping for were there, but I did find a rare candy, the T.M for Flamethrower, and an old man called Terry who was practicing karate by himself in the dark. Still a less embarrassing hobby than making up arbitrary rules to make pokemon games harder, if we’re honest.

Then I remember a whole other place I haven’t explored for healing items yet - the Haina Desert!  I skipped over this place last time I was on Ula’ula island because I didn’t think it was worth going into a place where it was constantly a sandstorm if I couldn’t heal my pokemon afterwards, but now I don’t have to worry about that because I’ve got a couple of max repels going spare!  Let’s see what I can be having here!

Nothing.  No healing items here either other than a Max Elixir.  Bit of an anti-climax, but oh well - at least I got the psychic-type z-crystal, which none of my pokemon can use because they don’t know any psychic-type moves.  Yay!

With that done, I pop to the foot of Mount Lanikila, where Gladion is waiting for me.  “I’ve been waiting for you,” he says.  He’s holding his hand in front of his head again, but it looks a bit less melodramatic this time; maybe it’s the camera angle or the fact that he isn’t vibrating slightly, but this time it just looks like he’s having a mild headache.  That’s character development, that is.

Anyway, he tells me that he wanted to thank me for helping out his family in that Ultra Space adventure.  No prob, Bob!  Then he says “the only thing I can offer you in thanks is a great battle.”  You’re being a bit harsh on yourself there, Gladion - I’ll bet you could arrange a really lovely fruit basket if you wanted to.  But no, he wants to show me his full power “with the z-ring that old man gave him.”  I know that he probably means Nanu when he says “that old man,” but my headcanon is that he’s just talking about a random old man that I’ve never met before.  Gladion clearly has a life outside of the game I’m playing, after all.

Loki goes first against Gladion’s crobat.  Instead of actually attacking the crobat, though, Loki’s just there to paralyze it with Thunder Wave and then set a couple of layers of Spikes, so that all Gladion’s other pokemon will get hurt now when they come into battle.  Loki’s a devious little pisser like that.  When Loki has had enough of being hit by the crobat’s Acrobatics attacks, I switch out Digit Al to finish it off with a Volt Switch attack.

Next into battle is Gladion’s lucario, who’ll be fighting Donna.  Surprisingly, the lucario turns out to have a z-move - Corkscrew Crash, which he uses here without much effect.  I would have expected one of the pokemon Gladion’s had for longer to have been given a z-move, but props to Gladion for being original, I guess.  Anyway, a couple of Flame Charges later, the lucario is out for the count.

Gladion sends out his newly-evolved silvally next, but I keep Donna in the fight.  Why not?  It seems a waste to witch her out when her speed’s just been doubled, and she has a couple of moves which are good against fire-types, which I’m pretty sure this silvally is.

Ah.  It turns out Donna still isn’t faster than this guy, and it uses Crunch, which brings Donna down to less than a quarter of her health.  I guess that answers that “why not” question.  I switch Donna out for Mr Nancy, who’s able to finish the silvally off, but not before taking a lot of damage as well.

Gladion’s last pokemon, weavile, then faces off against Digit Al.  Though the weavile didn’t stand a chance of surviving Al’s Flash Cannon attack, it’s able to do an obscene amount of damage first by getting a critical hit with Night Slash.  That’s a pretty good description of the whole battle, actually - Gladion didn’t stand a chance, but he did an obscene amount of damage anyway.  I bloody hope the plot heals my pokemon before I face the elite four.

Then Gladion flashes me a creepily genuine-looking smile and hands me a Max Elixir which Lillie apparently wanted me to have.  Since Lillie once gave me a bag to keep contact lenses in even though my character seems to have perfect vision, I can absolutely believe that she would believe a Max Elixir was a nice gift to give someone.   Then he says “I know we aren’t friends.  But we aren’t enemies anymore either.”  You just described strangers, Gladion.  That’s no fun.  Haven’t you ever heard the term frenemies?

It’s at this point that I never beat that dancer back on the Poni Wilds who would only fight me when I beat everyone else there.  What the heck, I decide; she might give me an item that Loki can hold that’s more useful than the Occa Berry she’s been uselessly gripping for the last three chapters.  And sure enough, the dancer tells me before fighting that her pokemon use Focus Sashes, which probably means that’s what she’ll give me when I beat her.  Nice!

Oh boy, I was wrong.  That wasn’t nice at all.

It turns out that the trainer’s four pokemon are the four different forms of oricorio.  The fight starts off great, with Digit Al beating both the fire/flying type one and the electric/flying type one.  Unfortunately, for the third oricorio, I sent out Hedwig.  I swear there was a reason that I sent my starter pokemon out against a strong bird pokemon, even though he’s vulnerable to flying-type moves and the oricorio was guaranteed to survive my first attack.  I guess I was just pretty sure Hedwig would survive long enough to finish off the psychic/flying oricorio and level up.

No points for guessing that I was wrong, but man, I was really wrong.  See, it turns out the light blue oricorio isn’t psychic type after all; it’s ghost type, and it’s just knocked Hedwig out with a tremendously powerful Revelation Dance attack.  Oopsie doodle.  That means I have to use one of my four max revives.

Anyway, I did manage to beat the dancer and get that Focus Sash in the end.  Will the item end up being useful enough to justify using up one of my lifelines this late in the game?  Time will tell.

I go back to Mount Lanakila now, and considering that it’s this game’s victory road (according to google, Lanakila is Hawaiian for victory), there sure aren’t any trainers about.  I run through and am able to pick up a full restore, a max revive (yes!  Back up to four!) and the ice type z-crystal without seeing anyone at all.  What’s the deal with that?  I can remember the victory road in pokemon Ultra Sun being much longer and full of trainers, just like it is in most other pokemon games.  Maybe they just ran out of time when they were making the vanilla Sun and Moon version.  The hilarious part is the rotomdex saying “Mount Lanakila is famous for being the most impregnable of all of Alola’s mountains.”  I was able to pregn it in about ten minutes, mate.

I take the lift to the very top of the mountain.  I walk past the pokemon center, because that’s the whole point of my challenge, you know?  I don’t even totally know why I even bothered typing that.  If you were expecting me to use the pokemon center at this point then you haven’t been paying attention to my entire journey.

A few steps later, I’m stopped by none other than Hau!  Mate, it’s been ages!  Where’s he been all this time?  It turns out that after the business on Aether Paradise, Hau cleared the rest of his trials and then “went back home to train with Ilima a bit.”  You went back home… to train?  Did you think that through, young man?  Did you really weigh up all your options and think “gosh, the best place I could possibly go to train is the island where the very strongest pokemon around are on level twelve”?

In any case, it turns out Hau came to Mount Lanikala to try out the pokemon league, heard from Gladion that I was on my way up here and dashed his way on up to meet me.  He tells me that it’s the fastest he’s ever moved in his life.  He probably shouldn’t brag too much about that - if Gladion was still at the bottom of the mountain when Hau got there, I had time to fly all the way to Poni Island and all the way back before he caught up with me.

Anyway, Hau challenges me to a battle to work out who should go up against the pokemon league first.  And my god, this is a surprise - he doesn’t heal my pokemon to full health first!  Maybe he did learn something from training with Ilima after all.

As always, Hau leads with his raichu.  Having completely forgotten that Hau would be here, the first pokemon in my party is currently Wash, but that’s ok - his thunderbolt attack misses entirely when I switch Wash out for Loki.  And what did I expect from Hau?  Hell, I’ve faced off against Hau often enough to know how little to expect of him; I decide I might as well lay down a layer of spikes on Loki’s first turn, since there’s no way this raichu is gonna do any significant da -

What the heck? The raichu’s Thunderbolt just did 96 points of damage!  That’s a LOT of damage!  What’s with the power boost, Hau?  Should I have been training with Ilima this whole time?

I switch over to Digit Al to save Loki from death, but it soon becomes clear that even Al’s not safe from the raichu - after Al does a fairly low amount of damage with Tri Attack, the raichu uses Focus Punch, and while the attack misses, it’s clear that it would have done a heck of a lot of damage if it had hit and might even have knocked Al out.  I’m forced to switch over to Hedwig to finally beat the raichu with a Spirit Shackle attack.  I mean, it’s good that I eventually managed it and all, but I had to switch out more than half my team to do it.  That seems like too much.

Next out on Hau’s side is his flareon, which means it’s Mr. Nancy’s time to shine.  But once again, Hau demonstrates an insane leap in power since I last saw him when the flareon uses Flare Blitz, which does so much damage that Nancy (who started the battle with about three-quarters of his health) is left with only about a third of his HP left.  That’s insane, especially since Mr Nancy’s ability is that fire-type attacks do half as much damage to him.  At least Mr Nancy’s able to do an awful lot of damage with his Scald attack, but that won’t be a whole lot of comfort if he gets killed on his next turn.

I consider switching to someone else in my party, but no; the only member of my team with more than half their health left is Wash, and while Wash has a lot of strengths, he also has a lower defense than any other member of my party.  Switching to him, or any of my other pokemon, would be signing their death warrant.  I’m gonna have to use a Max Potion instead.

It pays off; while the flareon’s next Flare Blitz attack does more damage than I’d like once again, Mr Nancy has just enough health left that he should survive his next turn.  And that’s exactly what he does.  He doesn’t get the chance to finish the flareon off, though - the knockback from his own attack knocks the flareon clean out.  Good riddance!

Hau’s penultimate pokemon is a komala, which faces off against Wash.  This, finally, is a much more straightforward battle.  First, after getting hit by komala’s Sucker Punch, Wash uses Beak Blast.  Then, correctly guessing that the komala would use Sucker Punch again, Wash uses Roost and ends up back to near-full health.  Finally, Wash finishes the komala off with a Drill Peck.

And finally, Hau sends out his primarina, and so I let Digit Al out once again.  Al uses Charge Beam, doing a lot of damage and raising his special attack.  That should be enough for Al to beat the Primarina on his next turn.

Unfortunately, Al doesn’t get a next turn.  The primarina uses Hydro Vortex, the water-type z-move, and knocks Al out in one hit.

Damn!  I let out Hedwig and use a Max Revive on Al.  I’m really, really lucky here, as it turns out - the primarina uses Moonblast and Hedwig survives, but with only 1 HP remaining.  Hedwig is able to beat the primarina with Leaf Blade on his next turn, but that battle’s still caused a serious dent in my healing item lifelines.

Hau is a good sport about it to the last, telling me to go ahead and beat the Elite Four so that next time, he can come beat Champion Tori.  Christ - if only the modern Labour Party had half that much determination.

Ooooh, and then he gives me 3 Max Revives.  I always liked that boy.  And he’s even healed my team up before the Elite Four!  What a lad!

I jump back into Mount Lanikala to very quickly give some training to the members of my party who are closest to leveling up, then use the handful of Rare Candies in my bag on everyone else.  And you know what?  That’s enough for me.  No more training - I’m not going to risk heading into the Elite Four with anything less than perfect health.

I step into the Pokemon League headquarters.

End of Chapter 23.

[shadowdragonsheart]

Tagged by @unboundbymusic :3

name/nickname(s): Sara. um?? idk i really dont have a nickname tbh tho i’ve been called other things such as Rin, Silver, Sdh (short for my URL), and i’ve been gently pushing the name Skalie bcause... stuff hahah.

favourite colours: Purple!! the richer the better! though i just love purple in general. :3

last song i listened to: that is a great question. most likely Coldplay. Yup, lookin back at my music, last thing played was “Another’s Arms”. 

favourite tv show: dont... dont laugh at me ok.. i really like How its Made. honesly anything science-y or stuff of the sort ^^’ oh! also any nature shows. doesnt matter honestly I don’t watch too much tv.

first fandom: sfdjfdsj, Soul Eater. though this is not likely my “first” fandom, it sure as hell was the one with such a strong enough a driving force to force me to create a tumblr. so, i’m counting it as such.

hobbies: art. digital or traditional, the problem is getting me to do it lmao. i also started playing saxophone.. um.. yeah lets not go there yet haha.

books that i’m currently reading: I haven’t started a book in ages and i am so ashamed omg. but i mean im always reading fanfics, does that count? *sweats nervously*

worst thing i’ve eaten: *inhales* by far. the worst thing. i have ever eaten... is fuckin blue cheese. story time: me and my mom were at a Wendys (a fast food restaurant) and they gave my mom this salad with this god forsaken cheese on it. i had never tried it before and i offered to try some, and i took a healTHY BITE WITH A BUNCH OF CHEESE AND I FELT PUNCHED IN THE FACE. kskasfkljfsdj ever since then i twitch at the mention of it. and it has been officially called the “Sara Repellent”

Thank you for tagging! I’m gonna tag a few people, but you don’t gotta do it! :D

@lunar--resonance @jeanii77 @sonadowfan306 @werm-whole-skwerm @keythecoward @sincerely-jin

[ermojas]

Okay ive recovered from my drunk tsot liveblog so now it's time for me to do it with The Reichenbach Fall because i hate myself. - I thought I knew what crying was before I knew John Watson - John does all the Christmas cards in this relationship, I guarantee - Fuck, I forgot all this "what people think" shit would remind me of s4 and moftiss - "Pressing case, is it?" says the naked man reading the paper - Moriarty's app icons are so extra. Why is everyone in this show left handed??!! - Ok that scene started with Kitty hitting on him and ended with "you repel me," but ok yeah sherlock is totes straight y'all - I love how Sherlock's version of dressing up is Undo Another Button - The fact that Moftiss purposefully amplified the "old married couple" dynamic in the first half of this episode is sadistic - I want to fill in Moriarty's brows so bad - Of course these fuckers had Moriarty's lips line up perfectly with the crown symbol on the friggen teacup - Sherlock looks better in peach lipstick than Mary does - I will never get over the fact that Mycroft hacked a fucking ATM just to look cool - The Shhhhh Club is the most straight white male thing I've ever seen - 221B, Mycroft. It's so much easier than "two hundred and twenty one bee." Get a hobby - I want to fill in Mycroft's brows so bad - Sherlock wears Essence's Pure Nude highlighting powder in the shade "Be My Highlight" "What could I need from you?" "Nothing," don't tell me this isn't like "Why would I need you?" "No reason at all." - John: "No, I know you for real," Sherlock: "100%." Gaaaaaaa!aay - okay cool, a five minute scene with both of them panting and whispering while handcuffed together. Like ya do. - Benedict had a head cold during all the scenes filmed at the St Bart's lab - Moriarty's line "You don't really think a couple lines of computer code are gonna crash the world" activates my Google Home to look up nearby compute repair stores. Interesting. - Ok, I'm not saying I LIKE the idea of shipping Sherlock and Moriarty. I'm just saying I GET it. Okay? Especially for Jealous John - Sherlock's "one moment of privacy" made definite texting sounds - I can't really rewatch the "keep your eyes fixed on me" scene. It's already burned in my retinas. - Why did I pick this episode. This isn't a fun way to use up tequila at all. - The rain hitting Ellla's window k like a waterfall. FUUUuuuck you moftiss - I can never watch this without watching the first 15 minutes of TEH.

[thcpcnguin-blog]

TFLN Starters

{90 textsfromlastnight text starters}

[text]: i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex [text]: I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me. [text]: i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts. [text]: You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil [text]: learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels. [text]: alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now [text]: im getting a BJ in a closet and a penguin just handed me a bong [text]: Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off [text]: He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. [text]: oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life. [text]: For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there [text]: He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood [text]: Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. [text]: I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption [text]: He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat. [text]: I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming [text]: He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect. [text]: Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's [text]: As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, [text]: Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere [text]: long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch [text]: And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face [text]: MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. [text]: I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise. [text]: I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me [text]: they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste [text]: my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. [text]: Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes... [text]: You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick. [text]: also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns? [text]: "Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me. [text]: no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner [text]: It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman. [text]: Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar. [text]: i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. [text]: I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though. [text]: I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper. [text]: Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman [text]: I am an emotionally compromised bisexual. [text]: so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone. [text]: Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay. [text]: I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice [text]: It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at. [text]: I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce [text]: His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him. [text]: I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit [text]: Holy sore nipples Batman [text]: He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. [text]: after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls. [text]: hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned [text]: Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend [text]: Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring. [text]: If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse. [text]: I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot [text]: OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high. [text]: I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded. [text]: I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes [text]: I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick. [text]: Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp. [text]: I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top. [text]: party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record. [text]: i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections. [text]: CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us [text]: Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious [text]: you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you [text]: He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work [text]: you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable. [text]: for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates... [text]: I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive. [text]: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE [text]: 2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too. [text]: You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea... [text]: Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera [text]: Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real. [text]: Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. [text]: He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you' [text]: Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today [text]: Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd. [text]: People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas [text]: You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?" [text]: Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever [text]: I think we’re only still together so we can make each other miserable [text]: Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself. [text]: don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire. [text]: Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign [text]: That’s not a That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days. [text]: The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not. [text]: Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. [text]: He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. [text]: We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends

[hotspreadpage]

Reddit for Marketing? Hell No, Except in This One Case

A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog post about Reddit for this very site. Before it published, I was sure it was going to be my Best Post Ever. I cleared my morning to handle the massive influx of comments.

Crickets.

Netting just over 400 shares, it was – by CMI’s standards – a dud.

I’ve since learned that confessing my undying love of Reddit to non-redditors creeps people out. Reddit has a strange and even repellant interface, though its engineers are working on a friendlier site redesign now. And when Reddit makes the news, it’s usually a story about the site’s trolls or less attractive underbelly (such as when redditors harassed innocent bystanders after the Boston Marathon bombing, implying they might be the bomber based on appearance alone).

If you’re not currently using Reddit, I’m going to try to convince you to change your ways. But before I do, here’s a Reddit 101 for those of you not familiar with the site.

What is Reddit?

Reddit is a collection of thousands of subreddits, communities built around a particular topic or idea. Some subreddits (called “subs”) are massive in size and scope (r/technology), while others can be pretty arcane (r/overlanding).

If you have a hobby, there’s a subreddit for that. If you have a problem, there’s a subreddit to help you cope. And there are thousands of subreddits devoted to things you didn’t know you wanted to know about (but do!), such as r/accidentalrenaissance or r/AnimalsBeingJerks. Each subreddit has its own rules, moderators, and vibe based on the people who subscribe to it.

Each subreddit has its own rules, moderators, and vibe based on the people who subscribe. @clare_mcd #Reddit Click To Tweet

If you visit the site when you’re not signed in to a Reddit account, your “front page” will be a collection of popular posts from across the site – and that’s what usually turns new visitors off. As a little experiment, I took a peek at the top few posts on “popular” to see what a non-user would encounter when visiting Reddit for the first time (timestamp: 3:20 pm on 4/24/18). Let’s just say the editors of this blog would not allow me to post what I saw.

To understand why Reddit is awesome, you need to open an account. Without one, your view will default to what is interesting to the average user (my guess: a 20-year-old guy, living at home, eating Hot Pockets). Once you have an account, you can choose subs to join and customize what you see on your front page. That means fewer pictures from r/aww and r/BikiniBottomTwitter, and more posts from the communities you enjoy. Whenever I hear people say, “I don’t get it,” it’s because they haven’t joined subs that interest them.

To understand why @reddit is awesome, you need to open an account. @clare_mcd Read more>> Click To Tweet

Reddit for Marketing? Tempting …

We’ve gathered here, however, not to talk about Reddit in general but to explain Reddit for marketing. I find it fascinating that most content marketers don’t understand just how popular Reddit really is. 

The numbers speak for themselves. A list of the top websites in the world, compiled by Alexa, shows Reddit comes in sixth, just behind Wikipedia. (Alexa’s rank is calculated using a combination of average daily visitors and pageviews over the trailing 3 months.) Even more amazing? Reddit’s average for daily time on site is more than 15 minutes, crushing the sites above it in the rankings, including Facebook and YouTube.

Of the top websites in the world, @reddit comes in 6th behind @Wikipedia via @AlexaInternet. Read more>> Click To Tweet

  In the last 30 days, Reddit had nearly 60 million unique visitors from the U.S. alone, more than 1 billion visits, and over 8 billion pageviews. Holy cr@p; that’s a lot.

And Alexa confirms what I knew already from hanging around on Reddit: The audience skews young, male, and more educated than the average Internet user. (Individual subreddits differ significantly, of course.)

If Reddit’s audience is so massive and engaged, why don’t we hear marketers talking about it?

The #Reddit audience is massive, but it's hard for marketers to make inroads, says @clare_mcd. @AlexaInternet Click To Tweet

But it’s fraught with peril

So far, it’s been exceedingly hard for marketers to make any inroads on Reddit – and that’s good.

Reddit (warning: massive generalization incoming) thinks of itself as different and better than more brazenly commercial sites like Facebook. There’s a knee-jerk suspicion of anything promotional or covertly self-interested in large part because the culture values the community over the commodity. That means marketers who go on Reddit to plug a product or idea are verbally disemboweled. There are legendary cases of famous people doing Reddit for AMAs (“Ask Me Anything” interviews) and bombing terrifically because they just didn’t understand the community’s unwritten rules. (You can read about some of these bombs in my earlier post.)

Marketers who go on @reddit to plug a product or idea are verbally disemboweled. @clare_mcd #socialmedia Click To Tweet

Reddit has tried recently to push marketers into sponsored content, though I’m not convinced that’s working out well either.

A few weeks ago, QuickBooks organized a sponsored AMA with Julie Gordon White, an author and speaker who specializes in women entrepreneurs. There wasn’t anything wrong with the attempt; Julie seems like a likeable and interesting woman, and the microsite created by QuickBooks was decent. But with a measly three upvotes after three days, it’s clear something wasn’t clicking. (The conversation thread on the AMA was also fairly anemic, through no fault of Julie’s.)

The right way to use Reddit for marketing

Therein lies the big problem: On a site where all users are anonymized (which tends to embolden snarky behavior) and where there’s a general disdain for marketing, what’s the role for marketers?

What’s our role on a site like #reddit, where there’s general disdain for #marketing, asks @clare_mcd. Click To Tweet

The answer: Research, young grasshopper.

Reddit is a veritable gold mine of information relevant to your area of expertise, your audience, and your business. The number of subreddits on Reddit is so vast, it’s impossible NOT to find a community that matches your audience and its interests. Are your buyers statisticians? Hang out on r/AskStatistics, r/badstats, r/dataisbeautiful, and r/samplesize. Do you need to attract young programmers to your company? Why not join r/learnprogramming, r/programming and r/machinelearning? Interested in launching a new recipe microsite (poor timing .. but OK!)? Check out the most popular content on r/GifRecipes.

No matter what community you join, you can sort posts in a dozen ways to find the information you need. The best way to check and see if a sub is right for you is to sort by “Top – All Time.” You’ll quickly see what the community is all about.

And outside of the subs that match up with your business audience, you’ll find other cool subs to satisfy your learning needs:

To find new ideas about visualizing information and creating infographics, try r/Infographics, r/visualization, and r/dataisbeautiful

To find out how to untether yourself from your desk and work remotely from beautiful locales around the world, try r/digitalnomad

To brainstorm social and search ideas with others on the frontline, try r/socialmedia and r/seo

To keep tabs on emerging ideas and novel tech applications, try r/technology, r/Futurology, and r/tech

To brighten your life (there’s absolutely no professional reason to visit this sub), try r/reallifedoodles

The most important rule to observe

If you’re visiting a sub because it’s interesting from a marketing perspective rather than from a personal perspective, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. Listen without speaking (or typing).

If you really can’t help yourself and need to share something (whether a post or a comment), I advise you to:

Hang out as a subscriber for a while before you share

Read the sub’s guidelines in the righthand sidebar to ensure that you’re not running afoul of the rules

Keep your mouth shut in #reddit subs until you read the guidelines, says @clare_mcd. Click To Tweet

Surprising rewards

If I still haven’t convinced you to road-test Reddit, consider this: When you join a community, there’s often a subtext or inside joke that you only understand after logging some time there. And much of my insider knowledge bleeds out into the real world ­– whether it’s understanding the subtext of my kids’ conversations or getting the joke in Twitter conversations. It’s as if Reddit is a middle-aged mom code-breaking tool to help me understand my older kids.

Just the other day I told my 18-year-old son to be careful driving that night because … you know… 420. His eyes widened into white orbs of surprise. My response?

“Reddit, honey.”

Here’s a code you won’t have to break: Use BLOG100 to save $100 when you register for Content Marketing World, which takes place Sept. 4-7 in Cleveland, Ohio. But hurry: Early Bird rates expire May 31.

Cover image by Joseph Kalinowski/Content Marketing Institute

The post Reddit for Marketing? Hell No, Except in This One Case appeared first on Content Marketing Institute.

Reddit for Marketing? Hell No, Except in This One Case syndicated from https://hotspread.wordpress.com

[yua-shizuka]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[fangirl-with-a-shoulder-fettish]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/

[otaku-douchebag-ponytail]

What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I’m working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I’m able to get so much done.

My answer: “I have ADHD.”

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don’t always have problems with attention at least, not when we’re working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things were supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn’t do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems … because we have to.

GIF via Checkoofilm/YouTube.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because were built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people dont need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, Id argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done even if we dont always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from “Bruce Almighty.”

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into ’em.

Even though Im not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast otherwise I know that Im going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether Im going to the grocery store or on vacation, I dont have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT because, erm, I need the reminder more than Id like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from “Despicable Me 2.”

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when youre planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day’s ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe dont dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if youre not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. “Sometimes I’ll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm,” says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. “It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way.”

GIF via HIKAKIN/YouTube.

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list.”

GIF from “Monsters University.”

8. Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments no matter how small.

If you’re someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!

GIF from “Parks and Recreation.”

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. Its fun to make the numbers go up, says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don’t dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It’s faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that youre going to feel once youve finished the task, instead of on the time itll take to get it done which, lets be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it’s still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. Im a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as “read,” then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from “Community.”

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, “Out of sight, out of mind?” For people with ADHD, that’s pretty literal to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can’t miss them. When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time, says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthys senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where youre already inclined to leave them. That way, theyre always there. Don’t fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyones brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us whats the right way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that’s organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way even if it does take more time.

GIF from “Adventure Time.”

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, its just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I’m weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

Its important to accept when youve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don’t be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This’ll save you time in the long run too because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it’ll take to recover.

GIF via ilvbunnies/YouTube.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

“My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once,” says Upworthy’s fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

“They also know that if they want something from me, I’m far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you.”

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself and others.

Everyones fighting their own uphill battles, and you’re not going to get anything done if you’re too busy beating yourself up. (Youre not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didnt get as much done today as you had hoped, but thats OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and youll never overcome them all. But thats OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from “The Wizard of Oz.”

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There’s no “one weird trick” that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that’s a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done

from https://www.makingthebest.com/2017/04/16/what-8-successful-adhders-want-you-to-know-about-how-they-get-stuff-done/