#retrieving it was such a pain that I've already resolved never to do it again

[victorluvsalice]

-->Victor and Shadow eventually came back from their jog, with Victor in particular looking, uh, a little worse for wear. XD Fortunately, being a spellcaster with a bent for Practical Magic meant that one little Scruberoo and he was fine. Shadow went to spend some time with Alice (recently returned to human form after an unsuccessful scavenge outside) while Victor got on tending his cowplant (which has already evolved up to nice quality!) and fixing the wind turbines (because, as usual, some were busted -- I swear, these are some of the objects that break the most in the game). Discovered in the process that, while Victor was fine using Repairio on the turbines, he could NOT use Floralorial on the cowplant! They're apparently immune to magic. O.o Odd decision, but I guess since they're kind of half-plant, half-animal, maybe magic just doesn't know where to have them...is there anything in the official lore about this?

-->Anyway -- Alice went in to start the laundry while Smiler, fresh off cleaning the cowshed (as we didn't want THAT to get stinky either), released both Bugs and Elmer into the garden to help Victor with the tending! Because hey, this greenhouse has gotten big enough that we probably DO need two robots and a spellcaster taking care of it. XD Smiler then went up to do a quick tech review on the video station as per the latest Simstube trends (giving their opinion on the Wabbit Tablet, apparently), while the bots took care of the weeding, watering, and bug-spraying, and Victor took care of the harvesting. (Well, what harvesting was left...you see, I actually played the first few hours of this update in a separate play session, and I saved and quit just as the garden became harvestable -- and when I came back to complete the day, almost ALL of the produce had ended up in the household inventory again. -.- I really wish they'd do something about that bug, especially since it is SUCH a pain the ass to try and get it OUT of the household inventory and into Sim inventories where it can be used...) Victor then moved onto checking on the chickens while Alice, fresh from cleaning up the kitchen and howling to keep the old Fury down, went to see how Moory was. . .

-->And it was around this time that I got the notice that the big event would be starting in an hour at 11 AM! So after having Victor socialize a bit with the flock and collect the eggs (all poor-quality hatchable ones! That's it, there needs to be a culling at some point), and Alice give Moory a good cleaning, a chat, and a snack, I had the gang set out to their special wedding venue...

[thebuginyourwalls]

The Homunculus Kills its Creator

Heya guys! This is a bit of prequel content to a personal horror project I've been developing. The main project isn't gt centric, but the backstory of this character in particular is, so I thought I'd just share some bits and pieces now and again since I'm feeling inspired.

Heads up though, this part contains gore. TW for; Mild Bodyhorror, Poison, Surgical Torture, Vivisection (or Dissection, depending), Suicidal Ideation, Blood, and brief vomiting mention near the start.

It had done it. It had finally killed him.

For the first time in centuries, the homunculus smiled. 

An intimidating drop from the bedroom nightstand stretched down before it, ending in that hideous mold-green carpet that was quickly becoming soaked through with blood. The Alchemist was crawling around on the floor, retching, trying to make it to the door. No doubt to attempt to concoct an antidote to the poison in his laboratory, but the homunculus knew he would never make it.

Perhaps the Alchemist thought it a stupid creature, but it had been planning this for a very long time.

"That poison was years in the making," it stated simply, swinging its legs over the edge of the drawers as it watched him fruitlessly fumble with the closed door, "Even if you get to your equipment, you won't be able to counter it before it renders you immobile."

The Alchemist visibly tensed at the unfamiliar voice. His head turned to scan the room, wild eyes finally settling on its minute form when it gave a little wave to direct his attention.

"You?"

His mouth dribbled more blood as he spoke. Voice shaking and watery as if every breath threatened to drown him. The homunculus smiled again, flashing its eerily uniform teeth.

"Yes, me."

"How...When did you-"

"Learn to speak? Three iterations ago," It tilted its head, "Learn to think? Well, that I could do from the start."

Pushing itself from the edge of the drawers, it landed with a barely audible thump on the carpet. It had no bones to break, after all, for its body was merely enchanted alchemist's clay. Something which had proven useful in the hiding of needles and small vials of chemicals needed for this plan.

As it stood, it pushed its hand into its chest cavity, just under where the ribs would be if it were a real person, to retrieve the last essential piece. It did not grimace as it pulled the scalpel head from its skin, though the sensation brought back all-too-familiar memories of vivisections and amputations.

This time, though, it was itself who held the blade. It saw its master's gaze fixate on the gleaming metal as it approached. Its feet staining with blood up to the ankles. 

"You're a fool," the Alchemist warned, though his words were laced with poorly hidden fear. The homunculus could see his muscles twitching, trying to move him away, but the paralysis was already taking hold.

"Your life is ti-tied to mine...If I die, you will cease to be, homunculus. There is...no afterlife for your kind."

That hurt it a little. It had long dreamed of the world outside its flask, outside this house. Of green trees and blue skies and new air that did not smell of ancient dust.

But this was always how it would end. Either that, or when the Alchemist grew bored of his pet project and finally resolved not to revive it again.

It much preferred the ending where the Alchemist felt as much pain as possible.

"I know," the homunculus answered finally, "But there is an afterlife for you, no?"

It took another few steps forward, its grip on the scalpel head tightening. 

"Your soul shall live on. So why fear death as you do? All these years you have spent trying to extend your material life..."

More steps forward. The Alchemist's face had gone slack like melting putty, but his eyes still gleamed with awareness. There was anger, as it had anticipated, but also desperation and terror.

All this time, this had been the man it was so afraid of? It seemed laughable now, that such cruelty could come from someone so pathetic. 

The Homunculus leant forward, so close that it could see its own reflection in his eyes. A pale, sexless thing. Too uncanny to have ever passed as human, even if it had been the right size.

Imperfect. Unfinished. Soulless.

"I would wager that you fear what's waiting for you on the other side more than I fear nonexistence," it continued, "I will be glad to be the one to send you there."

With that, it stood straight again and began to walk down the length of the man's body until it reached his thigh. Then it clambered up and sat itself in the dip at the back of his knee. 

Its whole life, the Alchemist had impressed upon it the superiority of the human form. Something that it had always failed to achieve, even if it had made considerable progress since its early days as a shapeless mass. 

Now, as it cut through the man's trouser leg to the warm skin, beneath which nestled the vulnerable femoral artery,  it could not understand what was superior about it at all. 

It pressed the blade to the skin, blood immediately beading as it cut an X shape along the inside of the knee. The Alchemist made alarmed noises that could have almost been words, but his body remained still even as the homunculus pulled up the corners of skin, exposing the shining red flesh to the air. 

He continued protesting incoherently as it pressed its hand to the bare muscle, feeling for a pulse. Then, slowly, it made a second incision and pushed its hand under the flesh, delighting in the choked gagging it earnt from him.

"Funny. For so long, I thought you were untouchable," it grinned, deliberately moving its arm so as to agitate the wound further, "If only I had known before how easy it is to hurt you."

It took some time to bask in the whimpering of its old master as it searched for the artery, not caring for the viscera that coated its front as it did so. None of that would matter, soon enough. Everything would finally be over.

Suddenly, the Alchemist erupted in a shriek of agony that even made the homunculus flinch. It paused, listening to his labored breathing for a second before moving its hand again, this time clearly feeling the ropelike vein its fingers had only brushed against before. 

"Ah," it hummed, "The sciatic nerve. I had almost forgotten..."

The Alchemist screamed again as it took hold of it gently, pulling it up closer to the incision to see it in the light. The homunculus could feel the man's muscles spasming, which ironically only  caused it to jostle the nerve more in an attempt to keep it from slipping from its fingers.

It pressed the edge of its blade under the nerve, marveling at how the Alchemist's screaming devolved into a small, strangled noise.

"Before I cut this...and leave you in too much pain to comprehend anything else, let me say a final thing," it spoke slowly, clearly. It had to ensure it was heard, for after tonight it would never speak again.

"I hate you. Hate you. It was this that helped me to realize your ignorance, you know. For as much as you insisted I was incapable of feeling…My hatred is real. So is my pleasure at the knowledge that you will spend eternity in Hell, as I have since the day you created me."

It allowed him only a moment of reprieve so that the words could sink in before it mercilessly severed the nerve. 

It had never imagined its master could have made the sounds that followed. His hysterical sobbing was like music to its ears, and part of it was tempted to simply leave him like this now that the pain would leave him paralyzed even after the poison wore off.

But no, it needed something final. It had made its peace with dying, and to deny itself that fate could lead to self-doubt if it was not careful.

It reached its hand back into the wound and felt around for the femoral artery, cutting it quickly before any second-thoughts could take root in its mind. Immediately warm, crimson blood gushed out, coating almost every inch of the Homunculus' body as it slipped down off its dying master's leg. The carpet was soaked. The spongy fabric squelched with each tiny step it took back towards the Alchemist's face.

He was still crying, groaning with agony as his life drained away. He would be dead in a matter of minutes, and the Homunculus intended to savor every second. 

It sat itself down near the bedside cabinet it had jumped from, leaning against the antique wooden frame. Had it possessed lungs, it might have been compelled to sigh.

These are my last remaining moments, it thought to itself, I wish I had thought more about what I wanted to do before I was gone...

It cast its gaze up to one of the many shuttered windows. The room was dark, and so it was able to see the slightest sliver of moonlight through the cracks. But the sight only made its heart ache with regret. Or perhaps longing. It could not regret never having seen the sky, of course, for it had never been given a choice in the matter. 

It was all too late now, anyway. As it turned its attention back to the dying man again, it was surprised to feel very little about his ending. Gone was the terrifying master who had tormented it all these years, and in his place was simply a sad old man. His eyes were too clouded with pain and exhaustion to even register his own creation sitting across from him. It was…disconcertingly dull as far as revenge went.

The Homunculus closed its eyes and leant its head back against the wood. There was no good in having the last thing it saw be the exact same as the first thing it saw, so it imagined the night sky instead. Beyond the shallow breaths of the Alchemist, beyond the creaking walls of the house, he could hear it; The rushing of soft wind and the chirping of crickets. 

It imagined that the sky was clear and full of brilliant stars like the astronomy maps on the walls. It could pick out all of the constellations, and name all the planets visible with the naked eye. It smiled again, and pictured the moon last. Full and beautiful, illuminating its path through the winding forests of silver trees.

The Homunculus sat with this image and waited to die.

And it waited.

And waited.

....

It listened. The shallow breathing had stopped.

Yet the minutes ticked on far beyond its calculations. When it finally cracked an eye open, the Alchemist was still and silent, his own eyes glassy and unseeing. 

The Homunculus simply stared at him for a while longer, counting down the seconds. Then those seconds turned to minutes and those minutes turned to hours, and that all too familiar terror laced its way back into its chest.

This wasn't meant to be happening. It was meant to be over.

Slowly, the homunculus got to its feet and padded back over, straining to hear even the slightest indication of life. When it was sure that it heard no breath, it moved to his neck and placed a hand there, searching for a pulse. When it found none, it went back and forth between these two actions until it was going dizzy with anxiety.

Had it gotten the ratios wrong? Had it cut something non-essential instead of the artery it was aiming for?

What if...this was something he had planned for? He was an Alchemist, after all. One that had lived for hundreds of years already, no less. How could it have been so stupid as to think it could be the first to catch him off guard?

It began to pace across the floor, frantically muttering the steps of its plan back to itself. There had to be a mistake somewhere. Some reason as to why it had failed to properly kill him. Perhaps he had backed up his soul in some way? 

It made a mental note of everything in the lab. It had been confined to that room for so long that it could take stock of everything in there with its eyes closed. If something had changed, or if the Alchemist had constructed such a vessel, it would have seen it.

The Homunculus glared at the man's corpse with sudden suspicion. What if he had not actually bled out, but passed out? 

The image of him awakening at any moment, with righteous fury in his eyes and absolutely no way of appealing to him, was enough to make the homunculus seize the scalpel again and scramble up onto his back, tearing through the fabric of his shirt with animal desperation.

It had to be quick. Which was going to be an issue given that he was lying on his front. It put a thick layer of muscles between the homunculus and his vital organs.

But what else could it do? It had to be sure that he was dead for good. 

With a determined grimace, it cut open a strip of skin along his back and began to hack away the flesh beneath in chunks. It was far less elegant than its earlier attempt, but it did not care. It just had to get in.

At some point, it abandoned the scalpel and resolved to pull apart the meat with its hands, burrowing like some awful parasite until the tough muscle finally gave way to the soft organ tissues. It did not stop to prioritize as it tore through them one by one. If the Alchemist had indeed found a way to bind his soul to his body, then it had to make the body unusable.

The process took what felt like forever, yet finally it emerged from the ragged wound with blood in its teeth and under its nails, and it knew that no amount of scrubbing would ever truly get the stains out. 

But. He was dead. Or as close to death as someone who dealt in obscene magics could be. Yet the homunculus was still alive.

It stood in the marvelous silence of the house that had so long been its prison, and for the first time in centuries, it cried.

[suganovakawa]

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , slight hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐗 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐈

if he really wanted to, tooru could tell you everything right here and now.

word count : 2k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀his knee wasn't the reason why he started crying on the gym floor. screw his knee for all he cared, tooru had dealt with his injury time and time again, a shot of pain through his bad knee hardly fazed him nowadays. nothing he couldn't just walk off.

⠀any resolve he had, his emotions couldn't be contained the moment you entered the gym. the pain he felt was unlike anything he had experienced before, clenching his jaw in futile attempts to suppress his gushing tears, his vision obscured and his ears focused solely on your soothing voice. he was too ashamed to talk amidst his breakdown, letting you do all the work and talking as he sat there, helpless. he didn't have it in him to dare explain himself.

⠀nothing hurt more to oikawa than watching you take care of him. even after your car accident, your amnesia, everything you've been through since then; you were still stubborn enough to take care of him first. the third year wiped his face, trying to collect himself as he watched you panic over his knee. his breath caught in his throat as he watched you gently place your hand where the brace was, as if afraid to injure him even more.

⠀"i'm fine," he whispered hoarsely, his voice drowned out by the remains of his early breakdown. "you can go, i'll be okay. you don't need to be here."

⠀even now, he was pushing you away - but your stubbornness remained. "but your knee," you urged, shaking your head as his words only seemed to pull you closer to him. tooru had never felt so claustrophobic in an open gym in his life. "please, you hurt yourself and it's my fault. the least i can do is get you something."

⠀you hardly even knew him. you had no recollection of him, withheld absolutely no memories - and yet you were as adamant as ever in wanting to care for his well being. he clenched his jaw at your words; he was beyond undeserving of your kindness from the start, yet you always kept finding your way back to him. he was nothing but a bad luck charm to you, but every single damn time you came back. tooru didn't know if you were stupid, or the universe just wanted to mock him for how he treated you before.

⠀he had only started getting back to practice for two days, only for his motivation to run down the drain the moment you waltzed into the seijoh gym by chance. even now, everything was coming back to him - he felt sick to the stomach. you were still fussing over his knee, almost cradling him as you looked around for anything that would get him off the ground. he was so distracted in his own thoughts that he never realized the pain in his knee never subsided.

⠀"there's a chair over there." giving into your relentless persuasion, he pointed to a folded chair not too far from the doors. "if you really want to help, getting me off this floor would be a good place to start."

⠀"got it!" no sooner had he finished his sentence, you were already off your feet, sprinting to retrieve the chair without a second thought. he watched you take the foldable chair and drag it back to him under your arm, focused completely on returning back to him as quickly as possible.

⠀something didn't feel right. his knee hurt much more than usual. while he became accustomed and numb to it, pain is pain. he tried to reach out and help you unfold the chair but you swatted his hand away, shaking your head as you flattened the seat for him to sit on. his breathing was ragged, fresh from his tears.

⠀your hand extended for him as support. after a moment's hesitation, he reached out and placed his hand in yours, the contact foreign as you managed to stand your ground for him. he pulled himself off the ground, clenching his jaw as he plopped all of his weight onto the chair the moment he hovered over the seat. he kept his right leg stretched out, to not bend or put any stress on his knee.

⠀before anything else could be said, you left him again, only to return with another chair for his leg. tooru watched silently as you took a deep breath, gently taking hold of his leg and lifting it onto the chair to elevate his injured knee. the male felt his heart race; how did you know to do this? the way you took control of the situation so effortlessly, it put him at a loss of words. anytime this happens, he usually has to tell people step-by-step to get his knee properly taken of.

⠀but you. you were always the exception, even now. what could the captain possibly say to you now? he watched warily as you simply sat down on the ground right next to him, looking comfortable where you were. the silent that soon passed between the two of you was deafening; you were right here. literally sitting here, you came to him. he didn't have to search for you. everything he wanted to say, everything he wanted to explain was overwhelming his tongue. but nothing came out; oikawa was a coward.

⠀"do you need me to do anything for you?" he was alarmed that you spoke up first, your face confused as your eyes met his. "should i call someone? do you want me to grab your bag? do you need help outside?"

⠀"no." out of force of habit he quickly snapped back, only for him to clear his throat with a cough and shook his head quickly. "no, but thank you. usually the pain subsides in a little bit. i'll be able to call for a ride home once the pain becomes manageable."

⠀"are you sure? i can call hajime, i'm sure he wouldn't mind - "

⠀"please, do not contact iwaizumi." hearing his name out of your mouth nauseated him to the stomach. "why isn't he with you anyway? aren't you two always together?"

⠀you seemed embarrassed at the fact that he knew as well. tooru hid a scoff; only an idiot wouldn't be able to see how he followed you like a lovesick puppy. "yeah, i get that a lot." he was taken aback by your tone - you sounded annoyed. "actually i... i asked him to leave me alone today. he's left me alone since lunch. i thought it'd be harder to get him off of me, but he never argued."

⠀did something happen between the two of you? the brunet third year couldn't decide whether he should be concerned or relieved; his face remained neutral, but this was certainly news to him. "why did you ask him to stay away from you? don't you... enjoy his company?" he spat words out like venom in his system, pausing for a second before sighing quietly. "i'm sorry, i don't mean to pry. you don't have to answer."

⠀"no, it's alright." you laughed - a sound tooru hadn't experienced in much too long. goosebumps travelled through every inch of his body as you shook your head. "truth be told, i just wanted to be alone for the day. i also..." your voice drifted off, looking down at your lap as you spoke up again as a whisper. "i've been wanting answers to my empty memories."

⠀and just like that, an invisible force punched tooru deep in the gut, his hands visibly going to his abdomen and wrapping his arms around himself hastily. "your memories, huh?' was all he bring himself to respond with.

⠀"i'm sure you've heard about what happened to me, with the car accident and the amnesia that followed."

⠀oikawa's back stiffened. "believe me, i know all too well."

⠀"i hope you don't mind me just ranting to you," you pursed your lips and hugged your own knees together on the ground, resting your chin atop your kneecaps. "but hajime hasn't told me a thing about my car accident, and it's been getting to my head. he'll tell me vague things before the accident, but never about the accident itself. i just want to know, i want to remember everything myself." looking up at your fellow third you, your head tilted. "wouldn't you want to know?"

⠀this was what iwaizumi was freaking about? tooru had heard of his skirmish with makki and mattsun, but because he wasn't on speaking terms with any of them, he couldn't go up and ask them for confirmation. he was almost angry - who was iwaizumi to keep your life locked away from you? it was the perfect chance to throw tooru under the bus, but he never took it. why?

⠀"i... would want to know, too." he hated where this conversation was going, but he had no way out of it. he wanted the subject change so badly, but it was coming to a point where it would be suspicious to do so. he wasn't ready. he wasn't ready to face his demons and confront you about the situation. if it was going the way oikawa was imagining it to be, you knew nothing about him. and you were assuming he knew nothing about you, either.

⠀"it's been frustrating. weeks have gone by at this point, and i don't remember a thing. i just want to remember something, anything from what happened."

⠀it was all coming back to oikawa, that dreadful day. the loss against karasuno, the words that hurt you, and the way your unconscious body was in iwaizumi's arms as he told his former captain to never step foot near you again. tooru did good in doing that, as he deserved to never be forgiven for what his immaturity caused - but you made your way back to him time and time again. he didn't know what to make of it, and it drove him crazy.

⠀"i'm sorry, you probably have no idea what i'm talking about." he watched as you stood up, dusting your uniform off as you crossed your arms loosely. "just the ramblings of a little girl, nothing special. thanks for letting me rant, though." you looked down at his knee before locking eyes with tooru once more. "do you need anything before i go? it's getting pretty late."

⠀"i'll be fine. i think i'll get up and get my things in just a few moments. thank you for helping me." to prove his point, he removed his leg from the chair and slowly bent his knee to sit up more. the sting was there, but it was manageable.

⠀"alright." awkward silence ensued, before you bowed quickly. "anyways, sorry for distracting you again, oikawa. see you tomorrow." you turned around and began walking out of the gym, since there was nothing else you could say to keep the conversation going.

⠀"wait!" he stood up, walking fairly slow to catch up to you, which you had already turned around confusedly from the urgency in his voice. you remained silent as he stood right in front of you, hardly any space separating the two of you as he struggled to find the right words to say. "whatever iwaizumi has told you or not," he said quietly, "what i can tell you is that now and before your accident, you're a wonderful person." he swallowed a lump in his throat. "and anyone who ever treats you like shit... doesn't deserve to have you in their life."

⠀mixed feeling arose as he noticed the faint blush color your cheeks subtly, backing up from you after finishing what he wanted to say. "it's not much," he muttered, "but i wanted you to know."

⠀"thank you, oikawa." you nodded your head and smiled. you had an unreadable thought in your eyes as tooru acknowledged your gratitude with a nod of his own, before watching you walk out of the gym rather hastily.

⠀just like that, he had let you slip out of his grasp again.

⠀he waited for you to exit the school before breaking down again in self pity, sliding down against the gym wall and biting his lip quite stubbornly to avoid yelling out in agony.

⠀"anyone who ever treats you like shit," he whispered, "doesn't deserve to have you in their life."

a/n : too dramatic? probably KFKSKFKMD

taglist ( closed ) — @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan@crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-alot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @cirtruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee@froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam@0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixca @chickenrest @tycrackculture @ynjimenez @karaseijoh @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddlesslut @crypto-s @keigosbitch @readeretal @shittykawaa @donghyuckster @adriloen @ella-solei @emiyummy @kukiisan @catyuyuyuu @sillykittt @dolan-mendes @kiritokunuwu @the-third-wall @yammerss @monviemoo