#returning to my modern!eren roots

[kitkat13001]

୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ modern!eren jaeger x reader

⤷ college au, athlete!eren, sick reader, brief mentions of vomit (vague, nondescriptive)

barring actual death, this week has been probably the worst of your life. 

you don’t think there’s anything more you could’ve done to prevent yourself from getting sick, but here you are, immobilized in bed like a dying victorian orphan. there’s only one upside to being this sick, and that’s when your boyfriend gets to wait on you hand and foot, coddling you until you feel even a little better. but eren isn’t here with you, he’s miles upon miles away for a big tournament.

distance hasn’t lessened his concern for you, apparent in the way he’s been calling you at least twice a day since you told him you were feeling under the weather. 

“no, babe, i’m like so sick right now,” you complain, congestion evident in your voice. 

“for real?”

“yeah, it’s so bad. and it’s not like a common cold or anything either, eren, this is the flu.”

“that bad?”

“i puked three times yesterday.”

you can practically hear his wince through the phone. “yikes.”

“yeah, so that’s me,” you sigh, “barfing and coughing and feverish. how are you holding up? having fun?”

“yeah, it’s been okay. we’re keeping our streak. i’m calling from the bus right now, actually.”

“oh, fun! tell the team hi for me.”

he hums his assent, but quickly turns the conversation back to you. “you want me to bring you anything back?”

“just your handsome self, preferably injury-free. miss you lots.”

“i’ll be back before you know it,” he promises. there’s some rustling on the line. 

“you just getting there?” you ask, sniffling into a tissue. 

“mhm. just gimme a second, baby.”

you hum patiently, eyes fluttering closed while you wait. 

“goddamn!” you jump when the door swings open, revealing eren standing in the doorway. his bags are in his arms and he’s still on the line, phone tucked between his shoulder and ear.  “you were right, babe, this place looks like shit. dishes on the nightstand and everything.”

he smiles and hangs up the phone while you lie in shock, scrambling to sit up and compose yourself. 

“when did you come in?!” you cry, “i didn’t even hear the door, my ears are so stuffed from my sinus plug-up. i thought you were on the bus to nationals!”

“i said i was on the bus, not on the bus to nationals,” eren corrects, grinning. “armin told me you were sick so i flew down to come take care of you.”

“but you’ll miss the big game!”

he waves a hand dismissively, blowing a raspberry. “it’s not for three days. plenty of time for me to hang out with you until you’re better. i’ll fly out the day before the game, directly to the city.”

“but what if you catch my virus?” you whine, pushing him away weakly. 

he smirks at your pitiful attempts. “i googled it. you’re not really contagious after the fifth day, so i’m aaaaallll yours~”

“erennn, you can’t risk it before your big game. what if—“

“shush, don’t worry so much. i’ll be careful, okay? lysol everything you touch.”

“everything? twice? you better promise.”

he holds his hand up in a mocking oath. “i swear. i’ll be mike wazowski spraying himself in the eyeball in monsters inc.”

you give a weak giggle and immediately wince at the pain in your throat. 

eren makes himself comfortable at your bedside, holding up a steaming container. “y’want soup? picked it up on my way back.”

you stare at him through watery eyes. “let’s get married. deadass.”

he laughs, fishing out a plastic spoon from his bag. “maybe when you’re not bedridden with the flu. ‘kay, now say ‘ahhh’.”

wrote this last year when i had the most godawful flu known to man and finished it this year when i got sick 3 times in the span of a month n a half :)

[dead-dolphins]

Mountain Girl and Doctor’s son AU

A while back, I came across a piece of art on my Twitter feed that inspired me to make a tweet about it (which surprisingly blew up, lol). In the tweet, I mentioned an idea for a Doctor’s Son and Mountain Girl AU where he gets her pregnant, and the story is just them living a quiet, peaceful life in the mountains. Nothing dramatic, just wholesome vibes.

Since then, I’ve been chatting about it with a friend on Discord, and I even watched this drama called Pachinko. It’s been giving me so much inspiration because it captures a lot of the elements I want to explore, or at least hint at the kind of themes I’m aiming for.

So, this is how it goes, taking, as i’ve said, some things of the drama and adjusted it to be chill and wholesome :D

I’ve been thinking about this idea where I take inspiration from something like the Japanese occupation of Korea, like in Pachinko, but I decided to twist it and make it Marley’s occupation of Paradis instead. (I want to make it clear here that I'm not aiming for a completely faithful representation of this delicate moment in history. Instead, I’m using it as inspiration for a story, much like how many stories draw from historical events.)

In this fic, Grisha is a Marleyan doctor who moved to Paradis for work. He marries his second wife and, eventually, they have Eren. Eren grows up surrounded by his father’s Marleyan teachings and becomes a doctor like Grisha. However, Eren’s training and experience are rooted more in Marley than Paradis, giving him a unique perspective on medicine and life.

Years earlier, while Grisha was researching something in the mountains of Paradis, he met Mikasa’s parents, people who had lived there for generations. Grisha formed a strong connection with them, and their relationship grew over time. Mikasa’s parents, while not directly involved in the events of Marley’s occupation, are well aware of the tensions between the two nations and are cautious but welcoming to Grisha, as he represents a different side of the conflict.

Fast forward to a few years later: Eren, now an experienced doctor in his own right, returns to the mountains of Paradis for a visit. He’s been living in Marley for most of his life, but this time, he’s back to Paradis for some bacteriological research (I think it will be cholera). He's aware of Grisha’s friendship with some villagers there, so he decides to stay with them as long as he researches last.

It’s during this visit that Eren and Mikasa finally cross paths. Mikasa, much younger than Eren, has spent her entire life in the quiet isolation of the mountains. She knows nothing about the outside world. Her world has been shaped by the simplicity of nature and the rhythms of rural life.

Eren, on the other hand, is a product of a world far removed from the peaceful mountains. His life has been filled with the hustle and bustle of Marley, his experiences shaped by his medical career and the tensions between the nations. When he meets Mikasa, he is struck by her innocence and the calm, grounded way she carries herself. He can’t help but wonder what it would be like to live in a world as untouched by conflict as hers.

Of course, they fall for each other. Eren is respectful and curious about Mikasa, while she’s shy, unaccustomed to being around handsome men with such a modern aura. They fall in love, share playful escapades in the forest, and eventually, Mikasa becomes pregnant. True to his character, Eren marries her as a man of respect and that’s all lol.

So, here is an art that I LOVE and kinda illustrate what I want to portray:

Oh! And I have a name for it already: Little Forest.

Any thoughts? :D

[impressivepress]

Charlie Chaplin: Jewish Or Goyish?

As nearly as can be determined, Charlie Chaplin is virtually part Jewish almost most of the time. John McCabe, Charlie Chaplin

In March of 1978, Charlie Chaplin’s body was stolen from his tomb in Switzerland and held for ransom. Two months later it was discovered buried in a farmer’s field and returned to his wife Oona, who remarked, dryly, ‘Charlie would have found this ridiculous.’ According to rumour, the Swiss government suspected that his remains had been stolen by anti-Semitic groups, upset that a Jew should be buried in a Christian cemetery. Chaplin’s Jewishness made him an enemy of the FBI and put him on the Nazi’s list of international targets. He is perhaps one of the most famous Jews in American history hence it is all the more surprising to learn that he was not, in fact, Jewish. Since his early days as the Little Tramp, a role he assumed in 1914, Jews had believed Chaplin was secretly Jewish. The fact that his name was not Jewish was irrelevant; it was common practice for Jews to change their names when entering show business (Al Jolson was born Asa Yoelson). In the 1948 edition of a Jewish encyclopedia, Chaplin is listed as a Jewish movie star, and the name ‘Israel Thonstein’ is mentioned alongside the claim that he was from an old Eastern European Jewish family. As proof, the encyclopedia cited a 1931 article from the New York Herald Tribune, which commented upon the way Chaplin’s eyes could convey both sadness and joy in a uniquely Jewish fashion, and a Budapest Jewish paper which claimed to trace his Jewish ancestry (as Thonstein) back to Hungary.

More important than birth records and names was the fact he looked, acted and ‘felt’ Jewish. To Jewish eyes, Chaplin told Jewish stories. Famously, one critic recalled watching The Gold Rush (1925) next to a middle-aged Jewish woman: ‘Oy!’ she wailed, as the Tramp tried to escape from his on-screen tormentors, ‘What do they want with him, the goyim?!! What has he done to them?’ The Tramp, small and powerless, was taunted and hounded by authorities who hated him without reason, in what appeared to American Jews as the enactment of the Jewish condition. Hannah Arendt wrote in 1944 that Chaplin symbolised the ‘effrontery of the poor ‘little Yid’ who does not recognise the class order of the world because he sees in it neither order nor justice for himself ’. Meanwhile, in Sholem Aleichem’s 1916 story, ‘Motl in America’, the hero spends his time watching Chaplin films and extolling the virtues of free America in which a Jew like Chaplin can become rich and famous.

For film scholar Patricia Erens, the Tramp is a variation on ‘dos kleine menshele’ or ‘little man’ of Yiddish literature, the poor and long-suffering antihero, the shlemiel (a little man with no luck), and the luftmensch (the ‘man of air’ who lives on dreams). Erens cites the numerous Jewish references in Chaplin’s oeuvre, in particular the prevalence of skullcaps and Yiddish newspapers as props, and a scene in The Vagabond (1916) in which the Tramp finds a Jewish man eating pork at a buffet and helpfully changes the ‘ham’ sign to ‘beef ’. Many of the characteristics we associate with ‘acting’ Jewish—the nasal voice, the New York accent, and the verbal wit a‘ la Groucho Marx—were unavailable to the makers of silent pictures. Chaplin, however, was a dancer, an acrobat, and a pantomime extraordinaire and able to communicate other, non-verbal cultural indicators to a savvy audience—the comic shrugs, the outdated black coat, the facial pathos combined with frantic body movements, the chaotic presence that mocks the establishment. Above all, Chaplin achieved a subtle gender inversion through the graceful, almost balletic eluding of his macho tormentors. Jewish audiences recognised this physical portrayal from the Yiddish stage and read it as a visual metaphor for the disempowered Jew in a hostile world.

Across the world this misconception raged, gaining him enemies to the left and the right. The German-American Bund helped spread the rumour that Charles Spencer Chaplin was born Israel Thonstein and in the book that accompanied the Nazi propaganda film The Eternal Jew, Thonstein is cited as the maiden name for the mother of ‘The Jew, Chaplin.’ In 1948 the US Navy investigated Chaplin on suspicion of Zionist activity: shipping guns to Palestine, as well as around 36 tanks. But it was the FBI under Hoover that became Chaplin’s greatest political and legal enemy. Chaplin’s FBI file is a comprehensive laboratory for identity construction that began in 1922 and remained open until after his death. The file chronicles Chaplin’s downfall, the suspicion of Communist activities, the Mann Act trial for transporting unmarried women across state lines for deviant purposes, and further rumours and innuendo that led to his expulsion from America in 1952. Chaplin is continually described as ‘of Jewish extraction,’ given the name of ‘Thonstein’ as an alias (though there is no proof that Chaplin ever used this name himself), and assigned attributes such as ‘Jewish accent,’ ‘talks with hands,’ and Russian birth.

Crucially, it was not Jewishness that alarmed Hoover but ambiguity. According to Omer Bartov in his compelling work The Jew in Cinema, Jewish characters are often portrayed as slippery and protean, possessing an insidious ability to obscure their Jewishness and blend in. The emancipation of the Jews from the ghettos of Europe at the turn of the last century had left them free to shave and dress in modern clothing, making them impossible to detect. This new found ambiguity of Jewish identity made them, in many gentile eyes, the most dangerous minority in civilised society. Ambiguity was the dominant paranoia of Cold-War America, which felt itself threatened by the enemy within—the Communists, Jews and homosexuals who were so hard to detect. The insistence on Chaplin’s Jewishness helped reinforce the notion of an ‘authentic American’ by establishing firm conceptual borders through identity construction and categorisation.

Not only did both Jewish and gentile audiences see him as a Jew, but Chaplin himself very nearly became convinced of his own Jewishness. While he did not officially doubt his mother’s version of his parentage, in which her legal husband, Charles Chaplin, Sr., a non-Jewish pop singer, was his biological father, there were times when he clearly wondered if the questions surrounding his lineage were true, and if they were more scandalous than imagined. His step-brother Sydney had a Jewish father and the world’s insistence on Chaplin’s Jewish origins prompted him and many others to wonder whether their birth stories had in fact been reversed.

‘All geniuses,’ Chaplin was heard to remark,‘have some Jewish blood in them.’ Flattered by the widely held misconception about his Jewish identity, his understanding of Jewishness was simplistic and stereotypical: Jews were blessed with superior intellect and financial acumen than non-Jews. Further, he believed that his physical attributes compounded the myth: he was short with curly black hair, ‘Oriental facial features’, and a prominent nose. In footage taken of famed British comedian Harry Lauder’s visit to Chaplin Studios, Lauder draws Chaplin on a chalkboard. Chaplin makes great show of stopping him, pantomimes ‘too Jewish,’ and re-draws the nose. Quite how to interpret this is unclear, but Chaplin either believed himself to be Jewish or was making fun of those who did. In the absence of confirmed roots, Chaplin may have sought to align himself with a group that, although outsiders in mainstream society, seemed to him possessed of an ancient and mystical national bond. When the great cantor Yossele Rosenblatt visited Chaplin’s studios, Chaplin told him that he owned all of the cantor’s recordings and that ‘Whenever I feel a little blue, I take them out and play them. They do something to me. They unite me, oh so closely, with my Jewish ancestors.’

Chaplin was an actor, and he played one role after another all his life. He occasionally told people he was Jewish, which sounded better to his director’s ears than ‘poor English gutter trash.’ But sometimes, including in his interviews with the FBI, he denied it, once commenting, ‘I am afraid I do not have that good fortune.’ Of his anti-Nazi picture The Great Dictator (1940) Chaplin said, ‘I made this film to show my unity with all the Jews of the world’. While American politicians and agents worried about the film’s ‘Communist’ message, the American Jewish establishment feared that an anti-Hitler film made by a Jew might make things worse for Jews in Europe. Chaplin’s own response—‘How can they get worse?’—indicates his own fearlessness. For the Jew in America, it was as if, as Stanley Kauffmann put it, ‘a David had arisen—a comic David—to fight Goliath!’

~

Holly A. Pearse · Oct 19, 2018.

Holly A.Pearse holds a PhD in religion and culture, and specializes in the representation of Jews in art and media. At the moment, her research delves into the portrayals of Jewish-Gentile romance in American film, and she currently teaches at Wilfrid Laurier University in Ontario, Canada.

[thisgirlsays22]

Happy birthday @askmermanlevi!! Love you lots and I hope you know that me attempting my first mer!smut for you demonstrates that love. Thank you for being an amazing friend and for giving the fandom so so many amazing pieces of art <3

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager Additional Tags: Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Bottom Eren Yeager, mer Levi, Shifter Levi, Smut, Mer Smut, Fluff, pining eren, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era Summary:

It wasn’t as though Levi had completely shut down the idea of having sex when he shifted, it was that he needed time, and it would be wrong for Eren to keep pushing. So instead he waited, and yearned, and waited some more.

Plot inspired by the @ereriprompts Redamancy prompt <3

Thank you so much to @attraversiamo19 @zamiraruth @erensjaegerbombs for betaing/feedback <3

Eren loved to watch Levi swim. Body slicing through the lake’s clear water, the blues of his tail glittering when the sun hit them just right. This was their third visit to the Ackerman family’s lake house, and Eren looked forward to the quiet week ahead.

“Caught dinner.” The (mostly) human half of Levi’s body had emerged from the water and, with a small smirk, his webbed hands dropped a still flopping, gasping catfish down on the rocky ground in front of Eren. The gills on the side of Levi’s neck fluttered in the fresh air.

“I think we’ll need another,” Eren said, wanting to watch Levi dive back in, aquamarine tail rising to the surface as he disappeared below the water. Full of an odd longing, Eren tugged on the strings of his hoodie, pulling the fabric tighter to protect against the chilly November air.

That small smirk again. “Well, alright then.” Levi dove back under.

Eren put the fish out of its misery and began gutting it with Levi’s silver pocket knife as he waited.

The second time Levi emerged, he got out of the water the whole way, legs and all. No trace left of the his translucent fins, his shimmery tail. A flicker of disappointment went through Eren.

“You’re indecent,” Eren teased, catching sight of Levi’s cock. “No one wants to see that. Put it away!”

Levi chuckled, teeth chattering as he rooted around in his backpack for his towel and clothes.

“I could warm you up,” Eren offered lowly.

Seeing Levi in his mer form always got Eren worked up. His eyes roamed Levi’s body hungrily, wishing for once he’d let Eren love him in his other form. Levi didn’t acknowledge the comment.

Levi grabbed his bag. “Well, come on. What are you waiting for? I’m starving.”

Eren cast one final look out at the clear lake, nestled between the mountains. The sky beyond looked vast, and Eren felt a little hopeful as he gazed out at the horizon. Like the trip was full of promise and possibility.

He followed Levi back to the house.  

     It wasn’t as though Levi had completely shut down the idea of having sex when he shifted, it was that he needed time, and it would be wrong for Eren to keep pushing. So instead he waited, and yearned, and waited some more.

He understood. At first, Eren was wary of fucking Levi when he wasn’t entirely human. Would doing so make him a fish-loving, bestiality-inclined freak?

“You’re being an idiot,” Levi had said. “Besides, you’re the fucking animal.”

So yeah, Eren understood having hang-ups about the whole thing, but he didn’t quite understand what Levi’s were; they were clearly not one in the same.  

He didn’t even quite understand his fascination, his desire. Maybe it stemmed from the envy Eren felt that Levi had the chance to alter himself so thoroughly, to wear a new skin, whenever he pleased. Something Eren longed for too. Perhaps if he fused Levi and himself together, if it felt like they were one, then Eren could alter himself as well.

     Tonight was their first night at the lake house, so unsurprisingly Levi was dusting all the surfaces in his rapid, efficient way while the fish was in the oven.

Eren had joined in without much enthusiasm and kept getting distracted by how good Levi’s ass looked in his jeans. Maybe it’s better he won’t let me fuck him when he’s a mermaid--man. Shit. He’s going to kill me if I keep getting that wrong. Would he fuck me or would I have to figure out how to fuck him? I’d miss his ass. He has a great ass.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi had stopped cleaning and was staring at Eren in disbelief. “Now isn’t the time for daydreaming. Have you seen what a shithole this place is?”

“You’re the one who wanted to go for a swim first and then put dinner on,” Eren whined. “Now I’m tired.”

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“I told you we should have just hired a cleaner to come last week.”

Levi waved a hand. “Tch. Waste of money. Go get the vacuum or something. If you’ve got time for leaning, you’ve got time for cleaning.”

“I wasn’t leaning, I was standing up straight and admiring your ass.”

“Oh, thanks,” Levi’s voice was flat, but that wasn’t his sarcastic tone, so Eren took it as a win. “Now go vacuum.”

Eren paused in the doorway, biting his lower lip.

Levi turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“I’ve just been thinking again. Since I saw you in the water,” Eren said haltingly. “Have you thought more about us--” he gestured between them, raising his eyebrows “--while you’ve shifted.”

“Mm.” Levi shrugged. “A little.”

“Oh,” Eren said. After a beat, he realised Levi wasn’t going to add anything. “So I’ll just...go get that vacuum then.” He turned on his heels, embarrassed at his lack of tact. Hoping to impress Levi, he vacuumed all the more diligently.

     On their third night at the lake house, apropos of nothing, Levi said, “You still want to be a fish fucker?” He was reorganising one of the bookshelves--“Kenny must have been here last, he never puts anything away in the right place.”--on the other side of the room, and Eren was sure he hadn’t heard him properly. Levi’s vague answer the other night had led Eren to believe the discussion would not be picked up for some time (or ever again.)

It was so out of the blue that Eren could only manage to pause his video game and stare blankly at Levi’s back. “What?”

“I’m not saying it again.” The tips of Levi’s ears had gone red, but he was still fussing with the bookshelf.

“Oh god,” Eren breathed, the implication of Levi’s words finally hitting him, “you’re really going to let me?”

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

Now Levi turned to glare at him. “Yes.”

“No but like for real? You’re not fucking with me?”

“If you don’t knock it off, then it won’t be for real.”

“Sorry sorry! I’m just wow. Wow.” Though he was curious what was going on in Levi’s head right now, what was to thank or blame for his sudden change of heart, Eren feared if he started to push, Levi would rescind the offer. “So how do you want to do this?”

     Once the initial thrill wore off one thing became clear: logistically, it was a nightmare.

It made a sort of weird sense; their whole relationship had been a bit of a logistical nightmare. An innocent question like, “So how did you two meet?” required planning, the harmless twisting of facts, the synchronisation of stories.

Eren couldn’t exactly answer, “Well, I was swimming in the ocean when I was seventeen when a rip tide pulled me under out of nowhere, and then the lifeguard who was also part mermaid-- man damn it. Shit sorry--saved me. I couldn’t stay away from the beach after that and when I finally turned eighteen he fucked me silly on a beach towel and wouldn’t stop complaining about sand in his ass. Yep that’s the love of my life Levi Ackerman for ya. He comes from a long line of merfolk who seem to own a lot of waterfront properties. Great eye for real estate, those mer men and women. Levi and I have been together for about three years now and he still won’t let me fuck him in his mer form, which is a real bummer.”

Now that Levi had finally said yes after all this time, it became clear that the biggest problem was where and how they would do the deed.

“What about the lake?”

Levi snorted. “It’s too fucking cold, especially for you. Your dick’ll shrink to the size of a peanut.”

“Point taken. What about the bathtub?”

Levi scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m fine outside of water for about two hours. I’ll shift in the tub and you can--” he cringed “--carry me to the bedroom. But put a towel down so the sheets don’t get wet and disgusting.”

Once they’d agreed on the bed, Levi ran a bath in the claw tub in the master bedroom’s bathroom. The loud rush of water filling the tub was the only sound between them until Eren said, “Do you want me to leave while you, you know?”

With a bored expression, Levi flicked his gaze to Eren. “Be a bit stupid of me to care if you see me shift at this point. You might as well stay. Maybe it’ll scare you off.”

“It won’t,” Eren said firmly. Levi shrugged one shoulder as if to say suit yourself.

As Levi had requested, Eren went to lay some of their dark towels down on the bed. When he returned the tub was full, and Levi stripped and lowered himself in the water. Eren licked his lips, nerves thrumming. His skin felt electrified with anticipation, goosebumps running up the length of his arms.

Submerged in water, Levi’s body was blurred, but Eren watched as his legs began to fuse together, slowly, at first and then suddenly they were one. That’s when the scales began to form, color blooming into different shades of blue along the tail. Smaller fins emerged at the point where his hip bones would have been and at the end of the tail. His gills were next, opening at the top of his throat as his ears contracted into sharp points, webs appearing between his fingers. Nails becoming clawed and black like a beast’s.   

“Is this really what you want?” Levi asked, the muscles of his abdomen flexing as he hoisted himself into an upright position. Eren caught sight of his sharp incisors as he spoke. There was something even more alluring about Levi like this, the ugliness and power mixed in with all that beauty. The lighter blue fins of his tail fanned themselves at the base of the tub as though testing the air, Levi’s eyes dark and suspicious as he studied Eren.   

A sharp intake of breath as Eren returned the scrutiny. His cock stirred and then strained against his jeans. “Yes.”  

“Well, what are you waiting for? I’m not fucking you like this if you make me army crawl to the bedroom.”

Eren lifted him from the tub, getting used to the new weight in his arms, the slippery feeling of Levi’s wet tail. In his human form, Levi was bulky and muscular already, but his tail was heavier than Eren had expected.

“Careful,” Levi said, voice gentle now. “My fins are sensitive. Make sure they don’t catch on anything.” His arms came up to wrap around Eren’s neck, and Eren could see flecks of gold in the piercing grey of his eyes. Eren swore the color looked different now; the dark grey of his irises lighter.

Eren swallowed and nodded, his mouth dry as he carefully maneuvered them through to the bedroom.

“You remembered the towels,” Levi said appreciatively. He reached for one to dry himself off, leaving another on top of the bed.

“I’m not fucking this up so easily,” Eren replied.

Due to his overeagerness in the past, Eren had accumulated an assortment of embarrassing situations: kneeing Levi in the balls, falling off the bed while changing positions, coming in his pants. This time he would be careful, smooth.

He moved so he was hovering over Levi, hesitant to let his hands wander or to rest his full weight down. But kissing, kissing he could do, so he started there. He slipped his tongue into Levi’s mouth, curious to explore the feel of the newly sharp points of Levi’s teeth, the otherness of it all. His cock throbbed as Levi responded in kind, running his nails down Eren’s back, sucking Eren’s tongue farther into his mouth. Wanting to feel Levi, to see if he was as turned on as Eren, he reached for him only to find...air.  

Eren pulled back and looked between them with a confused frown. “Where’s your dick?”

Levi snorted. “It’s in the slit. I mentioned it before.”

Eren had only a vague recollection of this. They’d never really gone into the mechanics of how this would work. “When does it come out of the slit?” Eren asked, furrowing his brow. He ran a curious finger along the soft edge of the slit, surprised and delighted when Levi gave a full body shiver.

“When you get me excited,” Levi replied.

“Does it excite you when I do this?” Eren murmured, dipping a second finger into the slit. He kissed Levi’s neck, just under his gills, and moved his fingers in slow circles. He could feel Levi’s pulse quickening under his tongue, and when Eren pulled back he could see that Levi had closed his eyes.

He could feel his cock now too, hard and wanting as it emerged from the slit. It was slick with Levi’s arousal and hotter to the touch than Eren had ever felt it before. Though the feeling was different, Eren was pleased to see that it was still recognisable as the same dick he worshiped regularly. He gave it an appreciative stroke, enjoying the warmth spreading through his hand as he glided up and down the slick shaft.

Levi’s tail came up to wrap around Eren’s ass, to pull him closer, and Eren let out a soft moan. The scales were cool and firm against Eren’s skin, a little uncomfortable actually, and it was strange not to be able to tangle his legs with Levi’s.    

“Your tail feels weirdly...strong.”

“There are muscles in there,” Levi said, and squeezed a little tighter. “You not enjoying it? Grass always greener?”

“It’s just taking some getting used to,” Eren admitted. “But no, I think I like it.” He ran his hand from Levi’s human waist down to where his tail began, fingers testing and pressing into the scaled, strong flesh. New and strange and Levi .

The corner of Levi’s lips quirked into a small, half-smile, and Eren bent forward to kiss him again. They stroked one another, rubbing their cocks together. He could tell Levi was being more careful with his touch than usual, careful to keep the hooks of his nails from hurting Eren.

“Would it feel good if I went down on you?”

Levi snorted. “What do you think? Don’t be a moron.”

“Be nice or I won’t suck you off,” Eren warned.  

Levi didn’t say a word.

It was strange not to be able to shift down between Levi’s legs. Instead, Eren knelt before Levi on his right side as he began to explore the slit with his tongue, running teasing circles around Levi’s dick.

He ran a hand up Levi’s tail, where his thigh would have been, and inadvertently provoked a full-body shiver from Levi.

With a hiss of pleasure, Levi said, “Do that again.”

“What did I--?”

“Around the fins.”

Eren moved his hand back down and ran his thumb around the soft fins, his tongue still running teasing circles around the base of Levi’s cock.

“Happy you decided to try this tonight?” Eren asked, lifting his head so he could see Levi.

Voice pitched low, Levi said, “I’m coming around.”

Levi’s hips jerked as Eren enveloped him into the tight heat of his mouth, cock ramming down the back of Eren’s throat in his surprised pleasure. It only took a few sucks before Levi tugged Eren’s head up, said, “I need to be inside you.”

Eren turned himself so that he was facing Levi’s tail and eased himself down onto his waiting cock, letting himself be filled to the brim.

Levi groaned softly. “You were ready for me already?”

“Yeah,” Eren said, voice breathless. He’d prepared himself earlier in anticipation for this, biting back his moans in the bathroom as he’d opened himself up, imagining this moment.

As he moved, he bent forward so that he could finger Levi. He timed his movements with Levi’s thrusts.

“Jesus fuck,” Levi gasped as Eren added a second finger. “I always thought it was fucked up that my asshole is on the front, but I’m starting to think I was wrong.”

Laughing softly, Eren shifted so he could gain more leverage with his knees and lift himself a little higher. Levi’s hands came to rest on his hips, and he was panting beneath Eren, thrusting up into him with barely contained strength.

“God, you feel so good,” Eren said, pausing his movements. “But I really want to see you now.” He slid off Levi’s cock and turned around to take in Levi, fucked out, forehead damp with perspiration, lips bitten red. His eyes were so dark with lust that Eren let out a soft, breathy moan. “You look so good too.”

He knew he was the only one who had seen Levi quite like this, and he understood what a gift it was. Eren drank him in, he trailed kisses across the part of Levi’s body where the human muscles ended and the blue hues of his tail began. Fingers rubbing that tender area at the base of his fins. It was rare that Levi was vocal in bed, but he kept whispering Eren’s name like it was a surprise each time Eren touched him just right.    

Eren nearly sobbed with pleasure when Levi was inside of him once more and he’d wrapped a hand around Eren’s cock.

“ Eren .” Levi gave a bitten-off moan, hips bucking up as he rutted into Eren desperately. The back of his head tipped back, tips of his pointed ears brushing against the headboard.  

Eren could barely formulate words, but he managed to choke out, “Christ you look so fucking beautiful like this. Fuck me harder, please, ” he begged, moving his hips to try to take Levi in deeper.

Maybe this was the only way he’d get Levi to accept a compliment without argument because there was no flippant reply, no changing of the subject. Instead, Levi pulled him forward into a searing kiss. His lips moving against Eren’s like a drowning man, and that was it for Eren. He came in hot, stick bursts all over Levi’s chest, and a moment later Levi gave one final, deep thrust and came too.

     “Why now?” Eren asked the next morning. Sunlight flooded the kitchen overlooking the shimmering lake. He was standing by the sink, waiting for his pot of coffee to brew when he’d finally worked up the courage to ask these questions. “Why never before?”

Sometimes Levi could be coaxed into talking about his feelings, but as the silence dragged on, Eren doubted this was one of those times.

Levi took a sip of his tea before finally saying, “I’ve never had sex in my mer form before.”

Eren already knew that piece of information, but he stayed silent and still as he waited for Levi to continue.

“I was afraid if we started you might hate it. It’s part of me, part of who I am. Who the Ackermans are.”

Puzzled, Eren said, “But that’s exactly why I love it. Love you.”

“You also might have loved it too much,” Levi said wryly.

“What do you mean?”

Levi crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair. Light cut across his face, streaking across his cheeks as he sighed. “There’s a world out there of people who are willing to pay good money to fuck someone like me. I don’t want to be someone’s fetish either.” 

They’d turned up the heat that morning, but the kitchen hadn’t yet warmed. Eren frowned down at his fuzzy slippers. He couldn’t possibly think of Levi that way, the thought of it completely alien. It pained him to think that Levi had believed that this whole time, that maybe Eren’s own worries had fed into Levi’s fears.

He spoke carefully, “You know it’s been three years, right? And that I’m in this, really in this. It’s not because you’re a shifter or in spite of you being a shifter. That’s irrelevant. I love you .”

“Alright,” Levi said, looking into his tea cup as though it was telling him something important.

“If that makes me a fish fucker so be it.”

Levi’s eyes cut to Eren’s and he laughed, his arms dropping by his sides as he relaxed.

Coming to stand before Levi, Eren rested his hands on his shoulders, made him put his tea down. “I meant what I said last night too.”

“What? ‘Fuck me harder, please’?”

“Yeah, and the part where I called you beautiful. You are. All the versions of you.”

“Thanks,” Levi said reluctantly, expression blank. “That’s...good.”

He probably was dying to tell Eren to fuck off, so Eren’s words must have really touched him if that was the reply. Eren grinned. “And I hope we can do it again so I can fuck you next time.”

“Idiot.” Levi tugged Eren onto his lap, laughing quietly as he rested his forehead against Eren’s arm. “We’ll see,” he said.

And that was enough for Eren.