#river song disease: thinks endlessly and forever about river song. incurable.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Drabble 79/366 - Doctor Who

Darillium is dark, and it’ll stay that way for years and years like a held breath. That doesn’t stop him from being afraid to wake up with the sun intruding through the closed blinds.

The light would melt across River’s sleeping face and turn her into gold—circuit boards and cold metal.

But not without knowing how much she is loved, and by no one more than him. He’ll make sure she knows.

That’s their past and future. Now, she breathes. She scrunches her nose in her sleep.

He won’t close his eyes until he believes he couldn’t forget her.

[andersonguy-blog1]

Crazy love

Say a guy and a girl meet and things couldn't be any sweeter, it couldn't feel more perfect, from day one things just click - 'fingers and thumbs, baby'. But suddenly one day he goes to the doctor to resolve a bad cough and he finds out he's got some incurable disease, he's terminally ill and he's going to die soon. The relationship is given an expiry date by the hand of fate and it turns into a thing of absolute beauty. The news is shared to his darling girlfriend and she becomes alert as to how precious life is, how precious moments are, how precious he is, how precious she is. They have no time for pity, we never do, none of us ever do but they are forced into knowing it for real, they are forced into appreciating the last few moments and they are forced into making them the best they can. Actually, I'll replace the word force with 'nudge' because that's how they see it, they don't see life as their enemy, their controller, they are not angry or upset at anything they use it to appreciate every single second. They become more alert, they stay up later, eating midnight snacks, talking endlessly for hours, seeing how meaningless everything is, how meaning-less whatever isn't love and kindness and lightness. They have no time for bickering or arguing either, or demanding or complaining or misery or doing anything that isn't done with utter joy or an untouched peace. They don't know when he's going they just know it's going to be soon. They don't think about it though, they don't let it play on their mind and they start smiling at even more silliness they see everywhere in others, they genuinely enjoy the pettiness and their lack of expectations and desires and thoughts melt away their troubles, they'd rather share ecstasy for as long as they can. A tricky situation becomes their ticket to a deeper love, they feel fortunate to feel the best they have ever felt together, the arising specialness is new to them both. He tells her something so beautiful and selfless, it's impossible to put into words the surrendered divine essence it carries but il try. He says to her 'as I get more ill darling, as I start to become more bed ridden I have all the care I could wish for, I'm lucky to have nurses to care for me. Life is so beautiful I don't want you to feel like you need to be by my side, of course you are welcome too but if you weren't here in my final moments I'd love to smile and know that you are living life the best you can just like you deserve, whoever that's with. I'd love wherever you are to be at one with it, I'd love you to be laughing or be creating or dancing completely care free. If you want to do the best for me then share your joy, share your kindness, share your peace there's not a moment that isn't yours.' As his health starts to deteriorate his peace deepens, his body is in agony his mind is healing, he feels physical pain but his soul is soothing. He realises the concept of true love - to simply feel unattached and free of the mental noise and the instructions they give. His body is dying but his sanity is growing. He sees death approaching and he embraces it with little or no fear. But things take a twist, just in the nick of time and not a minute later a scientist discovers a cure to his disease, a one of a kind event that medicine rarely sees. He follows the treatment plan and returns to full health. Not only is he given the gift of life but he is given the gift of appreciation, the gift of gratitude and he enjoys knowing what he'd prefer. What he'd prefer for him, for everyone else, for all creatures and for the very earth that sustains all life. The world, the economy, socialism, politics and alike are no longer his interests he falls in love with the natural, the unburdened, he serves Mother Nature and all of creation. His relationship with his girlfriend will never be the same again, neither the relationship with himself. He knows how unlikely it is that any man could share with her the love he can, the kind of selfless love that always has her best interest at heart. Even if he doesn't always see it, it doesn't mean it's not there. It'll return in him when he feels his gratitude again. They realise they want to continue to live the crazy love they found in the chaos. The kind of love that liberated them for the first time in their lives, a love that was incomparable, a love that was wild and mysterious and unplanned. How can you put something so beautiful and unworldly into a label often associated when two unite? 'Their whatever they have' falls into place with a divine plan and that plan is simply this - unite with the moment you are in. You want something special with someone, you deserve something special with someone, something so special it's not from this world it's not cursed by it either. It's beyond this world. It is not what I can give her it is what I can be with her and what I can be with her is completely infatuated. An infatuation that doesn't just need to short live, or live short, an infatuation that can forever last. If I could only ever do one thing it would be this - when she forgets how amazing life is, how precious she is and how beautiful the moment she's in is, I'd love to nudge her, I'd love to be the one to gently remind her. The question is do we need to wait for something we deem as terrible to happen to us to feel grateful for all of life or do we just need to lose everything in us that conceals it? "I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles And the heaven's open every time she smiles And when I come to her that's where I belong Yet I'm running to her like a river's song" Van Morrison - Crazy Love