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hishopeworld-blog · 5 years

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Who am I now?

Part one

Genre: fluff; slight smut; angst; sad romance

Pairings: Jimin x reader

Word count: 1.9k

Description: “I loved someone, I felt it, I spoke it, I showed it, I was it. With him, I felt inspired and showed our love in a multidimensional manner. I was kind enough to let him go because it was what he wanted. It was always what he wanted..”

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Memories. Something so delicate but strong at the same time. Something that’s faster than light, yet slower than a snail. Something you cherish but take advantage of. Something you hold onto, but try to give it away. You cry you peel, you break, all because of memories. Something so useful in life, yet useless at the same time. You remember that song but you don’t remember the name. You remember the answer, you can see it, but why can’t you write it down? Why are our memories the only thing that brings life to us? You breathe, you move, you touch, you see, you feel, but without your memories, you aren’t.. you.

You wish, with every muscle in your body, with every drop of blood, every small or big cell, every bone. You wish, that you didn’t remember those last 60 days. Those last ‘hello’s’ , those lasts ‘goodbye’s’ , those last smiles, last laughs, last stares, last touch’s, last tears, last breath, last love. You wish you didn’t remember yet, it’s the only thing you wish you had kept. He gave you your last as so you did for him. With every bump, smooth or rough, you had each other. It’s crazy how fast 11:59 pm can change to 12:00 am in a blink of an eye. It’s crazy how life can change, in a blink of an eye.

And it all started with Day 1,

“He just pisses me off sometimes, I don’t even know why I’m still with him. He’s clearly not good for me and I’m not good for him” you’re currently at a restaurant with your best friend, Rose listening to her rant about her wutless, unloyal boyfriend. We arrived 5 minutes ago, got seated pretty quickly and are now looking through the menu.

“Good evening ladies’, my name is Jimin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight, can I start you guys up on some drinks? Or are you guys ready to order?” both you and your friends head shoot up and the waiter, shock washing over your faces.

Holy heaven.

You analyze his face instantly, his gelled back light brown hair, almost blonde, showing his forehead, making his eyebrows dominantly take control. His soft eyes, colour too dark to tell. His perfectly sculpted nose, leading to his luscious, plump, beautifully pink lips. Ending with the sharp cut of his jawline. He clears his throat, seeing as both you and your friend stare at him, eyes heart popping out of your faces. “Ladies” he chuckles, bringing yourself back you awkwardly laugh as well.

He taps his pen against his small notebook before asking again “so um, can I get you guys your drinks?”

“I would just like water please” You quietly say but loud enough for him to hear. You feel his stare as soon as you speak, trying your hardest not to make eye contact. Nodding he doesn’t even lift his pen up to the notebook, having your choice easy to remember. “Can I have the strawberry smoothie?” Rose points to the menu where it’s displayed, looking up at him questionably.

Raising his eyebrows, he leans forward a bit to see where she’s pointing “Of course, but you have a choice, either to mix it with alcohol or just leave it as a normal smoothie” looking at your friend, you can literally see the excitement wash over her face as soon as she hears alcohol

Oh god.

Smirking, she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before classically answering “mix it with the good stuff please” he laughs lightly, writing down her order and nodding

“Okay, water should be here in 3, and strawberry smoothie should be in here in 5, I’d be right back with them both and we can then start with your food” you glance up at him regretting it instantly as you make eye contact, quickly looking away, he nods before walking off. Looking in his direction, watching him walk off you take in his attire and gulp. Facing forward, you see Rose staring dead at you. Chuckling at her weirdness you raise your eyebrows before asking “yes Rosey posey?”

She scrunches her nose up in disgust at your nickname for her “okay one, what did I tell you about that name” laughing you look down at your menu “and two, can we talk about how hot our waiter is?” Shaking your head at her comment you look back up at her, tilting your head to the side

“Last time I recall, you have a boyfriend that, may I add, will literally beat him up because you were checking him out” shaking your head at her once again, she rolls her eyes and slouches back in her chair. You miss the way her eyes light up and go wide due to you having a crisis in your head about what you’re getting

“Oh my god, you should-“

“No” you interrupt, giving her a glare, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

“C’ mon Y/N, you haven’t been in a relationship in so long, give this a try!” She smiled widely, you sigh and look up at her showing no sign of agreement “okay you don’t have to date him, you can just-“

“No Rose!” You whisper yell “relationships and hookups are not my top priorities right now” you shake your head, noticing you do it a lot to her lately.

Sighing she finally gives up. Just in time as well because soon you see a black sleeve stretch across your face, putting a cup pad on the table to prevent water stains. You catch a swift of his cologne, mentally sighing at the attractive smell. He stretches his arm on your friends' side as well before handing your drinks over

“Strawberry, alcohol-filled smoothie for you,” he says smiling down at Rose, placing the cup exactly in the center of the cup mat. “And water for you” he slowly drops the cup to your cup mat, sighing, before bringing his notebook out for your food orders. “Now, what would you beautiful ladies like to eat?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~After Dinner~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling full you pat your tummy and pout at your best friend, she laughs at your full state and takes a sip, the last sip, of her drink, having it finally finish. “I don’t think they added any alcohol to this” she scrunches her nose at the cup, bringing it up to her nose.

“I’m sure they know the stories between you and alcohol, Rose” you smirk, earning an annoyed look from your best friend. You look around the place once again. While you were eating, you couldn’t help but look around for a certain somebody. That somebody obviously being your waiter. You’ve seen him pass by, walking up to other tables, taking orders and giving them their foods. You take note of how different he acts with other customers. One table he’s being giddy, smiling and laughing. Another he’s being serious, quickly taking orders and nodding frequently. Another he’s being normal, giving them his best service. And another being flirty, and trust me, you can tell.

A few moments pass by. With your dishes neatly piled at the end of the table, you wait for your check. It’s been a few minutes, almost 8 as you continue waiting. With Rose going to the restroom a few minutes ago, you awkwardly play with the nails waiting for your waiter and for her to come back. Hopefully before the waiter.

As on cue, he turns the corner and walks straight to your table. In his right hand, he holds a circular black tray and in his left, he holds the receipt and card machine. He smiles as he approaches the table “Thank you for organizing the plates, makes my job 10x easier”

“No problem” you shyly respond. He looks up from the plates and smiles. He hands you the receipt then turns around, placing the tray on an empty table. Turning back around, he gives you a questioning look “How will you pay?”

With your cash prepared, you quickly hand him your $40 “And your friend? Do you know how she’s paying?” his attention adverts to your hand, taking your money from you “uh no actually, she should be back soon though” you quickly say, giving him a small smile

Moments pass by and Rose is still in the restroom. You see Jimin shift his weight to his other leg, awkwardly waiting. “So uh, how long have you worked here?” Not knowing how long your best friends going to be, you try to bring up a small conversation.

He opens his mouth slightly, furrowing his eyebrows as he tries to remember “2 months, the beginning of this month was actually the first time they let me on the floor” he fumbles with the machine, smiling to himself

“Really? What have you been doing this whole time?” You give him a questioning look

“Cleaning the restrooms, sweeping floors, washing dishes...” he carries on. He sighs, walking closer to the table leaning forward a little bit “How about you, Do you work?”

You sigh “not yet, I just finished teachers college last year, now I’m just waiting for them to place me somewhere”

He nods slowly, staring at you for a moment. “Oh teachers college, huh? So you’re crazy smart?” He smirks, looking at the card machine before glancing up at you, raising an eyebrow.

You lightly laugh “I wouldn’t say that” under the table you fold your hands together, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. He speaks up again “It’s okay, crazy smart girls are cute”

You feel your cheeks go red and give him a blushed smile before asking “w-what about you? Making money to buy your own things now?”

He gives you a questioning look, “buy my own things now?” The joke you tried to make clearly didn’t match his humour, so you try to elaborate

Mentally slapping yourself from the embarrassment you quickly answer “Y-yeah I meant like.. are you tired of your parents' money. It’s just that you look really young so I thought you were still living off of your parents' money..” your voice goes softer as your sentence ends and you slowly look down to your hands, escaping his hard stare.

He tongues his cheek, leans on the table, forearms supporting his torso with his hands crossed. Forcing you to stare directly in his eyes he takes a moment before responding “how old do you think I am?” Taking note on how his voice got deeper and quieter, you suddenly feel your throat getting dry.

You turn your attention away, seeing your best friend walk up. He quickly backs up and takes the card machine in his hold again. She takes her card out - apologizing quickly, pressing a few buttons before a small paper slides out from the top. “Okay, thank you, ladies. You two enjoy the rest of your night” he smiles, ripping the paper from the receipt and turning around to collect the tray from earlier.

“Oh, can I ask?” Rose says standing up, catching his attention. He turns around with the tray in his hands, staring at her waiting for her question “are you single?” Your eyes go wide and you immediately stand up.

“Rose lets go” you give her a ‘now’ smile. Jimin lightly laughs, while you pull her arm in the direction of the door “wait Y/N, you didn’t hear his answer!” She tries escaping your stronghold but gives up once you’re already out of the restaurant.

“You’re unbelievable, Rose”

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A/N~ Some of you might be confused as to why I just made a new book when I didn’t even upload the first chapter for “solicit” but honestly the idea for this book just popped in my head and I had to write it out before I got it. I finished the first chapter for this and the second chapter will definitely come out AFTER I finish the first chapter of “solicit”

Also, thank you for reading this, hope you liked it <3 it’s also really early in the morning and I should sleep so if it’s the night for you now, goodnight 💜 it’s if morning, good morning, hope you have a good day!

#who am i now #park jimin #bts smut #Jimin smut #jimin angst #bts fanfic

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