#rosza’s doing the lords work over there huh

[pendragonsgallery]

So I’m not in the Hetalia fandom

But my best friend @roszabell is.

So that means that I get to use my extremely limited knowledge of the show to make the dumbest headcanons I can think of.

These are the headcanons of someone not in the fandom but cursed with too much knowledge.

Enjoy

- By accident, Alfred once unironically said “innit” in a sentence and his body induced a two day coma on itself in shame.

- Austria probably can and has twerked to eine kleine nachtmusik.

- Whenever Australia does any normal thing he’ll say “I learned that in 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫” and he never specified what war. Just, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫. (It was the Emu war of 1932).

- France acts like he’s super pretentious with perfumes and smells and stuff but goes feral for Bath and Bodywork’s sales. He has so many coupons 47 years past their expiration date that he insists will be useful.

- Denmark’s hairstyle is done every morning by sticking his head out of a moving car on the interstate like a dog.

- Matt has a maple flavored vape and he hissed at Alfred when he touched it once.

- Alfred knows the metric system but constantly acts like he doesn’t get it to watch England lose his shit every time.

- Gil has heelies he installed in his shoes that he’s been waiting to use for decades. One time he was trying to sweep Matt off his feet all romantic like but he accidentally popped out the wheels and they both went flying.

- Norway blasts the Frozen soundtrack in his car so loudly the windowpanes shake. He just sits there with a totally apathetic face and just says “good shit” while all his passengers’ ears are bleeding from the volume.

- Hungary can bench press both Alfred and Matt and does it at any possible opportunity.

- Japan has been making little paper airplanes and getting them to stick in the ceiling for years now and no one has noticed. It’s not until he misses one day and thousands of mini paper airplanes fall from the ceiling onto everyone.

- Germany would take Disney fast passes so seriously. That man would be up at 4 in the morning staring at his undimmed phone screen getting space mountain tickets.

- The countries always do Rock Paper Scissors for whoever has to explain to China that he needs to turn his computer off and on again to get it to work.

- Denmark has not tied his shoelaces since the day he got them. He just slides them off and on again because “I’m too awesome to tie my shoes” the truth is he doesn’t know how to tie his shoes. They came pre tied.

[despressolattes]

CONSEQUENCES | CHAPTER NINE | LEGACIES/THE ORIGINALS

BOOK THREE IN THE SIDE CHARACTER/LILAH SERIES

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─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She looked at herself in the mirror, touching the necklace dangling upon her neck. The pendant was rather large and in a noticeable and recognizable shape. The gem in the middle was made of obsidian with specks of lapis lazuli, and it glowed a light blue when it with light. She had it for as long as she could remember, Dahlia spelling it so she could walk in the sunlight when she finally came out of the cave she was desiccated in.

She only found out that the necklace had protective properties like that when she tried to take it off in public, wanting to conceal it as she walked through a village in the 1500s.

It was the only thing she had that made her her, and she didn't want to lose it somehow or get it taken. The minute the clasp was off and she moved the necklace, her skin began to burn, boil, and turn red. She put it on, wondering why it hadn't done that when she took it off while she slept. When she tried to take it off again within a building, she realized that it protected her against the sun.

All of her vampire ways she had to learn on her own.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 1500s

Lilah stood slowly, confused and frightened. Her last memories flooded her mind, the spell Dahlia had performed, being stabbed in the stomach with a sword. She frantically grabbed at her stomach, but only dust fell to the ground. There was no wound, but she was dirty. Her white dressed was covered in black dirt and dust, which drifted off of her body as she moved.

There was, however, blood on the collar of her dress. She looked down on the floor, a trail of blood. Instinctively, she raised a hand to her lips, feeling the thick liquid. She took a step back, terrified of what was going on, but couldn't find a person or a body anywhere.

She slowly made her way to the cave's mouth, following the light to the outside. She looked around, noticing that her world looked unfamiliar to her. The village she had lived in was good as gone, no one living there anymore. She wondered what had happened to the settlement that her mother and father had been from, the one she had traveled so far from with Dahlia and Freya, separated. Freya had already been an adult by the time that little Lilah joined them, but the two of them were never allowed to form a bond.

All Lilah could remember about where she was, was that she was in Europe somewhere.

She had learned about control, about vampirism, about survival, all by herself. It took her a few months to even realize that she had been asleep for five hundred years. It shook her to the core, but she wondered if that meant Freya had survived like she had.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 1600s

She began to be a bit reckless with her actions and her feedings as she went along. She learned she was somewhere in France where she took up the surname Desmarais, not that she really cared. She wandered around with her veins black and lips bloodied, uncaring since she tended to kill whoever was around.

In the cave she had been in where the journals that Esther made Dahlia give to Lilah. Stories of her mother and her father, Lorelle's journals. She became accustomed to village life, realizing she was in Ireland. She was able to acquaint herself with the times.

She relished in her new abilities, she was fast, strong, able to make people do as she pleased. She missed her magic, however, but decided that it was fine that she couldn't practice her craft any longer if it meant it was in exchanged for her freedom.

She tried to look for Freya for a bit. She asked about Freya Mikaelson, knowing of the immortality sleeping spell Dahlia had in plan for them, but no one knew who she was, but would ask if she was related to the Lord Mikaelsons, nobelmen who lived in Denmark with their sister Rebekah.

It was then that she realized her father and his siblings were still alive, whether by magic or by the curse she found herself under, they were alive. Soon, she'd hear others, those apart of her special community, talk about the violence and the running. The whispers in the wind she'd hear about the Mikaelson family was all she needed to become discouraged about knowing them.

She was on a blood binge when someone grabbed her, bringing her into an alley, pinning her against a wall.

"Are you trying to expose everyone?"

A girl stood in front of her in a beautiful gown that matched her flawless face. She had curly brown hair, voluminous. If there was a flaw on her, Lilah couldn't find it. She has a peculiar accent, definitely not native to France.

The girl looked at her suspiciously, before stating, "You're the Desmarais girl everyone talks about in the village."

"People talk about me?" Lilah asked.

"Yes, the young men talk about how you are beautiful and single, the young women talk about how you are kind and poised," the girl replied, before adding, "The witches talk about how you are dangerous and the vampires talk about how you ask too many questions about the Old Ones."

"About the who?" Lilah questioned.

"The Original vampire family," the mysterious girl replied. "The Mikaelsons."

"And what do you know of them?" Lilah questioned, looking at the girl suspiciously.

"I know that Niklaus and Elijah are evil."

Lilah's face perked up at Elijah's name.

"I know that they will do whatever it takes, no matter who gets hurt, for their own personal gain," she added, looking down with sadness. "I know they will kill when they are wronged."

"Is that not with all vampires do?"

"Not all have to," she replied.

"You're lucky I couldn't care less about those Mikaelsons. I'm merely looking for someone named Freya, not this Klaus and Elijah you speak of."

The girl let go of her.

"You must be careful with your actions before you expose us all and get us killed," she said, letting go of Lilah.

"We're vampires, we cannot die," Lilah said.

"They can still stake us, they can take away our daylight rings and throw us into the sun," the girl said as she began to walk away.

It was because of her that Lilah started to realize she wasn't like the other vampires. She had been staked before, while irritating the wrong person in a different town, and she had walked outside without her necklace before. She had survived both occurrences.

"What is your name?" Lilah asked her.

She turned around and smiled, "Katerina. I like your necklace."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"You're crazy, you know that?"

Josh was standing at her door, leaning against her doorframe while she looked at herself in the mirror. She turned around to look at him, sending him a smile.

"It's in my blood," she shrugged, though Josh didn't know the weight of her words.

"Roman Sienna, huh?" Josh cringed, walking into her room and sitting onto her bed. "Of course you of all people, after you start to let a guy in, you get totally lied to and betrayed. Maybe it's karma for all the good guys you turned down all these years."

His teasing manner didn't go unnoticed, and Lilah picked up one of her makeup brushes from the top of her dresser, throwing it at the Rosza boy.

"Shut the fuck up," she laughed at him, going to sit next to him. She leaned her head onto his arm, wrapping both of her arms around his. "I'm still not convinced he's a bad guy."

"You keep saying that, but why do you think that?" Josh asked her. "You used to be the most suspicious of us all, never letting anyone, even us, in. And now you're rescuing the son of the woman who killed Hayley."

"I can't explain it," Lilah replied. "It's like... It's this feeling of familiar when I'm with him, like this isn't the first time I've met him."

"Maybe he has something to do with Picture Girl," Josh said.

Lilah gave him a stern look. "You think everything has to do with that girl in the photos."

"I wouldn't be surprised if everything happening right now has everything to do with that girl," Josh admitted.

Lilah huffed, standing up and holding out a hand for Josh. "Let's go gauge the damage I've caused, shall we?" she asked.

He took her hand, letting her pull him to his feet.

"You can gauge the damage you've caused, I've got a bar to run. We still have no applicants to come work with us."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lilah walked into the Abattoir—The Mikaelson compound—rather awkwardly. She went into the family room to see Freya, Keelin, and Nik, feeling relieved that she was the one she found. Her and Freya's bond had always been strong, partly because of how Lilah had childhood memories of the witch.

Nik was fast asleep in Freya's arms. Keelin looked between Lilah and Freya, nodding to her wife as she picked up their son and walked out. She smiled at Lilah in passing, and Lilah sat down next to Freya.

"You were like a Vampire Peggy Carter," joked Freya, her soothing and raspy voice calming Lilah's nerves as they both had their feet on the couch, facing one another. "The last time I saw you that protective over a guy, it was Elijah."

Lilah chuckled at the analogy.

"Has Josh called Roman 'Vampire Captain America' in front of you before? Is that where the Peggy Carter jokes are coming from?"

Lilah was glad that the air around her and Freya was light.

"You know, Lilah," Freya started, scooting closer to the girl. "Even though I met you when you were already a vampire, and you lived a lot of years on your own, and you did the growing up part all on your own... Whenever I see you, I see the daughter I didn't get to raise."

Lilah smiled, Freya brushing a hair out of Lilah's face.

"You came to this family as someone who looked like a little girl, trying her best to be an adult vampire in a big, bad scary world. And I know I can't take credit for the wonderful person you ended up being despite all the bad, but I like to think you're one of the things this family got right," Freya continued. "We all had our own lives taken from us, and this family hasn't done the best things, or even the right things at times, but taking you in makes me feel how I can only imagine Klaus felt taking in Marcel."

Lilah smiles at her words, trying her hardest not to be emotional.

"So, I trust you and your instincts. I know you're the most cautious out of all of us. Do you trust him?"

"There's a voice in my head telling me to," she said, repeating what she kept using as her justification for coming to Roman's rescue.

Footsteps could be heard, and they both glanced towards the sound to see Rebekah approaching.

"I see we let the traitor back into our home," Rebekah said, bringing her glass of alcohol to her mouth.

Lilah and Freya gave her a look, but Rebekah held her ground.

"What? She helped Hayley's killer's son escape from the Garden after he lied to her for a over a week about who he was," Rebekah said with her normal amount of dramatic, taking another sip of her alcohol, the ice clinging in her glass. "Lils, your taste in men is almost as horrible as mine was. Nik would've thrown Roman off the balcony by now, so don't be too upset that I merely threw him into a little prison underneath our home. Be glad I didn't board him up behind bricks and attempt to desiccate him."

With that, Rebekah smiled and walked away, back upstairs to her room.

Lilah and Freya looked at one another and couldn't help but laugh over what Rebekah had just said, in light of it all. It almost sounded like they were psychotic, but maybe they were. Maybe being crazy just ran in the family.

"So, what exactly happened? How did you guys figure him out?" Lilah asked.

"Rebekah loves herself a good gossip, and you wouldn't bring Roman around for her to meet. So she called that school he said he works for, the one that Nik sent Caroline a check for, and asked about Roman Bauer. But Caroline said that a Roman Bauer didn't work for them, a Roman Sienna does. Then Rebekah connected the dots back to the boy she saw around town during the time Hayley passed away. Then a simple locator spell on my part, and we knew where to find him," Freya explained.

Lilah nodded, chuckling softly at how nosey Rebekah could be.

"Part of it was for Hayley, and the other part was for you," Freya added.

"For me?" Lilah asked.

"He lied to you about his identity, so yeah, we were pissed off about what his mom did, and for what he was doing to you."

Lilah remained quiet. She was lying about her identity, too.

"Rebekah will come around," Freya promised her, wrapping an arm around Lilah. "I swear to you."

"Where's Lorelle?" Lilah asked. "Any updates on that front?"

Freya sat up straight, shrugging as she said, "She's been holed up in her room, seems to be a bit moody. Doesn't want to eat with us, barely talks to us. Still no leads on the White Oak coven, and I'm honestly not too sure how much we should trust her. But as someone who once had to earn the trust of my own siblings, I'm wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's not here to stir up trouble."

"What about the pictures of that girl? I still have no idea who she is."

Lilah hadn't told anyone of the flashes she would see. Distorted voices and fuzzy scenes that felt like repressed memories, the feeling of deja vu she had when she was with Roman, as if she had already lived through it once before.

"It's like we should know her, but we don't," Freya nodded, but then she shook her head. "But I haven't been able to figure that out, either."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lilah walked upstairs of the compound, going to the room that Lorelle was staying in. She knocked, hearing her mother say, "I'm not hungry, Freya."

She entered the room anyways, pausing when she saw Lorelle sprawled out on the floor with endless grimoires open, like she was researching.

"L-Lilah Rae," she sputtered out, her eyes going wide as she stood up. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"What're you doing?" Lilah asked her, sitting down on the floor and bringing one of the grimoires towards her.

"Well, I have magic, but I never really studied it," Lorelle explained, sitting down next to her. "So, I'm trying now."

After a moment of silence, she said, "You know, perhaps we should talk about—"

Lilah raised a finger to her lips, shushing her and then pointing to her ears, then swirling her finger in a circle to motion that the others could hear them.

"Not here," Lilah told her.

She looked at the grimoires on the floor, a ring amongst them, attached to a chain. She picked it up, looking on the inside to see engraving. The words "E. Mikaelson." Lilah's eyes involuntarily closed again, another fuzzy image in her head, the eerie feeling of deja vu once again crawling up her spine in the form of goosebumps.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She was sitting in the passenger seat of her car, her emotions felt like they were all over the place. She found herself on the road to Mystic Falls, glancing down at the ring that was dangling from her neck. That same ring. She felt angry, but the anger slipped away to be replaced with grief and disappointment.

One thought was in her mind, "But I wasn't mad at her anymore, just disappointed she was here, and he wasn't."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lilah let go of the ring as she opened her eyes, tears falling down her face, watching as it fell back down onto the grimoire. She couldn't understand why she kept on having flashes of images and moments that she didn't remember herself. It was almost driving her crazy. She had one when she gave Roman clothes, when she picked up his bear, and now when she held onto her father's ring.

"Are you alright?" Lorelle asked Lilah, reaching forward and wiping her face.

"I'm fine," Lilah jerked away from her, wiping her face on her head. "I'm sorry, I-I have to go."

"Lilah, please don't—" Lorelle pleaded as Lilah stood up frantically. She copied her daughter, trying to step closer to her, but Lilah just pushed her arms away, using her vampire speed to run out of the room and the compound.

She got to her car, finding herself yet again trying to catch her breath. She was confused as to where this mental breakdown was coming from, but she felt it coming on since she got back from Mystic Falls. She felt off, like she was there but she wasn't fully there. Her mind was trying to make sense of everything in front of her, and while it was all normal, it just didn't feel right to her. Like it was all fake, like she was trying to wake up from a dream.

She didn't drive to her apartment, it just didn't feel right. She parked in front of Roman's apartment complex, wondering when she became the type to seek comfort from a guy. She wondered if she'd keep having those flashes of moments if she was around him more, since two out of three of them occurred with him. She wondered if he was the distorted voice and the fuzzy figure from her first flashback, when she had been giving Roman clothes to sleep in.

She knocked on the door, and the confused curly haired blond was practically tackled in a hug when he opened it.

"Desmarais?" he questioned, taking a few steps back to steady the two. "What's going on?"

She reached her hands up to his hair, running her fingers through his locks, closing her eyes, praying that something would come to her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She stood in front of him, watching as he looked up at her. He was still fuzzy, but Lilah was almost sure that the figure in front of her had to be him. She leaned down, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, engulfing him in a hug. One of her hands found his hair, softling running her fingers through his curls.

"What're you doing?" a distorted voice asked, his voice small.

"I'm a hugger," she replied. "And that is the fact you get to learn about me today."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm a hugger," she said softly, before saying louder and more confidently, "I'm a hugger!"

"You're a hugger?" replied Roman with the same volume, but ending the sentence to make it sound like a question.

Lilah let go of him, placing her hands on his shoulders as she backed away. She stared at him in awe and said, "I think you're the key to why I woke up outside of Mystic Falls."

Roman's eyebrows raised at her words, turning his head to the side in confusion. She just smiled though, feeling like she was making a break through with this mystery hole in her life.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

CHAPTER TEN

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DISCUSSION BOARD!!

· we're at 1k! despite SIDE CHARACTER reaching over 136k reads, every milestone still feels just as exciting as they did the first time i reached them. hopefully book 3 can see the same success as book 1.

· we get to see her friendship with katherine, which i have talked at before. how do we feel? Do we want to see more of Katerina and Lilah's friendship?

· we also see more freya lilah bond, as well as her with Rebekah. everyone's opinions on them?

· what do you guys think it means that lilah only gets fuzzy memories back when she touches things or does things that have connections to either her and elijah or her and roman?

· a lot happens in this chapter. thoughts? now that lilah has sort of figured out that roman is a trigger to some of her memories—though she'll soon realize he won't be the one to trigger her memories of Picture Girl—what do you think will happen?

· writing this chapter was so fun because i almost never touch on lilah's past. sure, we hear about chicago and stefan sometimes—though i've heard that a lot of people want me to write a 1920s lilah&stefan book. might just do lots of flashbacks in this book or in book four, which might be a lilah in tvd alternate universe type thing. and yes, this is me unwilling to just create a new OC to get attached to when I and a lot of other readers already love lilah.

· writing lilah's 1000s and 1500s past is fun because in side character, i always talked about it and never really went into full detail. and i've been writing lilah's character for two years now, and i think while she is a part of my imagination, she's really grown into her own being inside of my head to the point where things just seem right. it's not me just pulling things out of thin air, they feel right.