#rubber ducks were made to help kids developmental skills in water

[potters-little-ferret]

Arthur and Lucius run into each other at The Leaky Cauldron. What begins as their usual bitching sesh gradually turns into them challenging each other to a drinking game. Which escalates to them becoming incredibly drunk. They play beer pong. Arthur gives Lucius a slurred lecture on the function of a rubber duck. At some point in the evening, Lucius ends up wearing Arthur's glasses. They buy weed off some dodgy bloke in an alley. Arthur gives Lucius a "driving test" in the Ford Anglina and they end up in a ditch.

The next morning, someone from the ministry is sent to bail them out of the police station. The weed hasn't worn off yet. Arthur is still babbling on about ducks and how nonsensical it is to have one in your bath. Lucius has the munchies and has been chewing on his own sleeve for the last six hours.

Send me HP headcanons that would piss JK off. The gayer, the better.

"Did you know......that some Muggles...put little ducks in their baths?"

"They bathe with ducks? Wouldn't that make a *hiccup* mess?"

"Noooo, they're rubber ducks. Tiny rubber ducks that just.......bob along the surface of the water. And they squeak."

"But what do they do? What's the pra....the practi.....the practically....what's the point?"

"That's the thing. There is no point. They just have them there for fun."

"Oh my GOD."