#run on the barbie limb bank

[fishfraud]

I can't believe that to make things I have to actually make the things. Ridiculous.

[certainenthusiastfan]

The newest helluva boss episode has got a lot of people theorizing what happened between blitz and his twin sister, Barbie wire that has caused barbie to want nothing to do with her brother when she is one of the few people besides loona that he cares about.

Some say he burned down the circus from a solo act gone wrong that killed his parents, made fizzorali lose his limbs and made barbie get addicted to drugs to cope with the loss of her career and family and why blitz is hated.

But I have a different theory of what happened which led to Barbie’s addiction and how blitz came to have many toxic relationships.

To me, it all started with Fizzorali; and the twist, he never lost his limbs to an accident, but gave them up willingly. As we know fizz is a popular clown who was once blitz’s best friend until things went wrong, and I think it happened when he meets mammon the demon king of greed. As his popularity grew it seems mammon found out about fizz and wanted to make him a deal to make him a star, and with blitz and Barbie’s dad cash he would be more than willing to have the circus be run with his star clown with the king of greed banking them.

But as fizz’s popularity grew, so did his own greed and he begins to become snarky with blitz and condescends him for not being good enough, something that burns him inside as that’s what his dad always did. In season 1 episode 2 when octavia was a little girl we saw the robot fizz and blitz was working there still, and what noticed is that he didn’t have his white scars so the accident didn’t happen yet at that point. And since loo loo land existed back then is can imply that cash and fizz signed a contract with mammon to turn the family circus into loo loo land with fizz being the star, while blitz becomes resentful of fizz for not only always stealing the spotlight but also becoming a jerk who thinks he’s better than everyone else and is no longer the sweet kid he was, with fizz starting to taunt him with, “Does anyone love you, Blitzo?”

Which then leads to the second tragedy that eventually leads to the family circus, and the family, ending.

In the past we saw a poster with blitz and barbie as acrobats with their own show called “the amazing imp twins”, showing that barbie wanted blitz to be a star and, besides their mother, was the one who supported him and like blitz was disgusted by what fizz has become since she would have known since childhood as well.

Barbie would be considered the circus’s second star with blitz’s acrobatic abilities getting more recognition, but that wouldn’t enough for their father as fizzorali tells him that he’s cutting him out of the deal and buying out the circus entirely and kicking him and the others out.

Desperate and angry, he would become dependent on barbie, and as he trains her hard every time he eventually comes across a drug that is said to enhance your energy and help perform better; H-8.

Eventually barbie starts to become dependent on the drugs and it starts effecting her performance, and she eventually starts taking more drugs to cope with the stress. It becomes so bad that blitz would try to do solo acts whenever barbie was out of commission, which always ended in a disaster. And at that point he had no idea that cash got his sister addicted to drugs.

Then it all came to a head when one night during a performance, barbie started slipping up in her acrobatic routine and that was when blitz finds out about not only the drug abuse, but also H-8 that their father constantly forced her to take. To say blitz was furious is an understatement as he and Cash get into a altercation and learns that fizz took away the family circus and Cash was making his sister the new cash cow.

As barbie started going haywire from the drugs the people thought it was part of the show and started laughing, making blitz lose it like he did on the sitcom as he remembered how he adopted loona and how scared and alone she was as he blamed himself for not knowing what his sister suffered.

Which leads to blitz giving his dad and fizz the ultimate F you and quitting the circus and disowning his father: he burns it down and finds a gun, pointing it at a flabbergasted cash trying to reason with his enraged son, only for blitz to say in a cold tone, “the O is silent!” And pulls the trigger, making his father his first kill.

Afterwards he takes barbie to rehab in hopes in getting her clean, but she becomes enraged thinking he’s abandoning her and tells him he’s just like their dad and fizzorali and that she put in the hard work for her routines and, ultimately, ruined her career. He was hurt but assumed it’s the drugs making her say those things, but the nurse knew in this situation blitz had to be away from her so she can recover even though what happened to her wasn’t his fault as their father had scarred both his children who have cut ties with the circus.

This also leads to blitz having trust issues as fizzorali betrayed him in the worst way, and his father for what he did to his sister and why he keeps people at arms length as he fears the same thing will happen again, but also believes he will hurt them the same way his father did or fail them like he did barbie.

Which is what’s happening with him and stolas.

What do you guys think?

[rudysrings]

Twin Pogues of the OBX - 6

A/N: Shortest part yet, but I promise more is coming tomorrow and I just couldn’t bring myself to figure out a good stopping place other than here :)

Warnings: underage drinking, cursing...I think that’s it for this one? 

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist

The next morning, you guys took out the HMS Pogue, before realizing the only way you could figure out the location of the wreck and with it, the gold, was to get access to the internet and plug in the coordinates.

Of course, with the power out on the Cut, there was no way you could get online from home. JJ worked as a busboy at one of the fancy hotels on the kook side, and offered to let you guys in.

As always, the familiar warmth of the sun felt nice on your skin. Somehow, after the events of yesterday, it felt like forever since you guys had just hung out on the boat—tanning, swimming, drinking.

You felt uncomfortable today, uninterested in your usual bikinis and shorts. Instead, you borrowed one of your brother’s long-sleeved shirts, usually saved for the winter, and pulled on some faded, worn skinny jeans over your bikini bottoms.

Of course, Kiara noticed, giving your ass a friendly slap as she asked, “What’s with the fit today?”

You threw an arm over her shoulder, hers circling your waist as you walked towards the van. “I just wasn’t feelin’ it today.”

“You’re gonna get real hot, real fast. It’s breaking 100 today.”

“I’ve got my suit under. If worse comes to worse, I’ll just strip down to that.”

“Suit yourself.”

It was rare that you felt insecure. You weren’t ashamed of your physical appearance, no. It might’ve been the realization that your dad had intentionally abandoned you that had shaken you so much. You were feeling vulnerable already and being exposed all day would be a physical manifestation of your fear.

You were quieter than normal, but the pogues didn’t question it, noticing the opposite in John B. It was as if last night had given your brother purpose, something concrete he could actually put his mind to, rather than wonder for days on end.

Once inside, you guys had found out it was about 900ft down, almost off the deep end, but reachable. Though not totally legal, the pogues hatched a plan to ‘borrow’ the drone from the salvage yard that JJ’s dad used to work for.

You asked if you could sit this one out, and, taking one look at your defeated figure, no one disagreed. “I’m going to go and try and write for a bit today, alright?”

You had been a part of a band with a few kids from school, scoring gigs here and there to scrape in whatever money you could. It allowed you a living while doing something you loved at the same time. You were thankful for it, and for Kiara’s dad, who made sure you knew that the band was always welcome to play at the Wreck and earn something for the time they performed. Part of it had to do with the fact that the band always improved business, people staying longer for dessert just to hear you play one more set, but part of it was that he just liked you. Though you were just as crazy, if not crazier than the other pogues, it was easy to see that you had an idea for your future and that’s all that Mr. Carrera ever wanted for his daughter. Though the band had broken up before the summer, with both the drummer and the lead guitarist having graduated high school and moved out of the outer banks for college, you still wrote from time to time. It was your own sort of therapy, the cathartic ritual of trying to reach somewhere within your mind to actually create something. 

Kiara grinned. “Yeah! You should definitely come down to the wreck later tonight; it’s karaoke night!”

You assured her you wouldn’t miss it for the world.

John B gave you a pat on the back as you exited the van. They dropped you off at the Chateau and drove off, JJ shooting finger guns at you and making you smile.

You spent the day at the Chateau, working through your songs and nursing a rare bottle of old wine you had managed to hide from the others underneath your bathroom cabinet. 

You contemplated the last few days, not just about how unloved you felt by your parents, but also the growing thing between you and a certain blonde haired boy. 

You smiled as you strummed the guitar that your brother had given you for your thirteenth birthday as you remembered when you and JJ had first met. 

The third grade was hard enough without a twin brother that radiated energy, leaving you looking like the evil twin who lived in the shadows and collected the limbs of barbies in different containers. Which you did, but you didn’t expect to be so ostracized for it. 

You were alone that day at recess, walking across the black top with your arms hugging yourself. Your dad had done a poor job of helping you with your hair, leaving it a stringy mess across your back. 

Suddenly, your face met the ground and you groaned, turning your head to see a halo of gold behind you. You blinked quickly, pushing yourself up to see a blonde boy with crooked teeth apologizing profusely. 

“Dude! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, this guy—”

You noticed something in his hand. A Gameboy?

Behind him, a pudgy boy with a sweater vest and khaki shorts was quickly approaching and you soon understood what was going on. So this blonde little boy was a thief?

On instinct, you grabbed the gameboy from the blonde boy and shoved it in your backpack as his attacker came running up. 

He shoved the blonde boy to the ground and shouted. “Where is it? You took it, you thief!”

Furious at the violent treatment of the blonde, even though he had stolen, you threw yourself at the bully, your nails scratching him. 

In the end, all of you got in trouble, but when you walked to the bus that day, you gave the blonde boy the game boy and invited him to your place, where you had your own. He gave you a wicked smile, before giving you a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, pretty. I’m JJ.”

You didn’t know why, but you had always been protective of the boy, without a single good reason. He had always hidden his best qualities, but maybe some part of you recognized a part of yourself in him instantly. A kindred spirit of sorts. A hotheaded mess that was awful at suppressing his emotions but didn’t know how to deal with them any other way. A boy that would do anything for his friends. You didn’t know it at the time, but you found a mirrored version of yourself in that nine year old boy, and you brought him home with you. 

At sunset, you gave up on your songwriting. You had made little progress anyways, instead heading to the Wreck as you promised Kiara. 

When you walked in, the pogues were already shoving their faces happily after a long day. Kiara gave you a huge smile and beckoned you in to hear what had gone down. 

You gave JJ a kiss on the cheek for no reason at all, and he blushed, quipping, “Hey, wifey!”

You pulled your brother and Pope in for a big hug, feeling nostalgic after your lingering thoughts of childhood memories today. 

Before the pogues could comment on your drastically improved mood and sudden need for affection, you suggested that you all get started on karaoke before downing a beer, getting all of them excited.

You danced with Pope John B’s awful, fast-paced rapping of fifty-cent, but that was the point of karaoke, you guessed. 

Pope twirled you, before grabbing your hands and pulling you towards him, shaking his head in a silly fashion. You threw your head back and laughed, catching JJ smiling at the sight from his seat. 

You continued dancing with Pope as Kiara kept vibing on her own a few feet away. She finally had enough of John B’s voice and stole the microphone from him, replacing his screeching with her gorgeous velvet tones as she began singing her go to — Come and Get Your Love. You watched as JJ finally stood up, striding over shyly, with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, raising his eyebrows at you in question. You let John B whisk Pope away as you pulled JJ to you by his forearms. 

You turned around, letting him cage you from behind as you swayed within the comfort of his arms. John B and Pope were waltzing beside you, making you chuckle. 

JJ sang softly to some of the lyrics, so low that you barely heard, only catching some when he bent close to your ears. “What’s the matter with your mind...And you’re mine, and you look so divine...If you want some, take some.” You tried to keep down the goosebumps, but of course, you failed, the fluttering of emotions you always tried to bury making its way up your throat. Or was that the alcohol?

He dropped his head to your shoulder, smiling as his hair brushed your collarbone. “You smell nice.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows and turned in his arms. “I haven’t even showered today!” 

JJ shrugged. “You always smell nice.”

The beer made you giggle, “Do I? Are you getting soft on me, Maybank? You dance and sniff girls’ hair now?”

JJ scoffed, before saying. “Soft? Me? Get outta here, Trouble.” He added smoothly, “And it’s only your hair I sniff.”

You wrinkled your nose. “That’s a little stalkerish, don’t you think? Should I be concerned? C’mon Bear, you’ve gotta live up to your rep.”

JJ shook his head, pulling you back towards him so that you were chest to chest, forced to wrap your arms around him to keep your balance. “Fuck that, just dance with me for fuck’s sake.”

You felt Kiara’s eyes on you, smiling as she moved on to another song. 

Eventually, you got tired and let Kiara pull you away from the guys for a breath of fresh air. 

You walked across the beach, arms crossed over your abdomen. Kiara kept looking at you with that teasing smile and you finally had enough. “What?”

Kiara shook her head. “Nothing, just, you know it’s kind of obvious? You’re so thick headed sometimes, but you clearly –”

“Have feelings for JJ?” You finished for her. She looked at you in surprise as you turned back to the waves. “I’m not so thick-headed. I know what I feel. I’m not stupid.”

She nudged your side, giggling. “Well, he’s really feeling you, too. Like all the butterflies and shit, I swear.” Kiara gave you jazz hands, emphasizing the jittery feeling of a crush.

You smiled. “Yeah, I know.” You knew JJ liked you. You knew it in the way he was always looking out for you, no matter what was going on or what he was doing, his focus was involuntarily always on you. Even your own twin brother didn’t pay that much attention to you. There had always been a tension in the air between you two, a sort of understanding of mutual attraction. It weighed heavy, not just in the air, but on your shoulders, on your heart. Because you knew that you couldn’t let anything come of it. 

Kiara stopped, holding your elbow to keep you from walking any further. She looked confused. “Then why don’t you do anything about it? The rule’s bullshit, anyways.”

You took a deep breath, looking at your friend with heavy guilt as you tried to put into words why you knew that it was a bad idea. “Because we’re so similar. Neither of us have our heads screwed on right. We’d eventually destroy each other. And the worst part is...After the chaos, I wouldn’t have my best friend to help me pick up the pieces.” You shrugged. “I figure if there’s one time in my life I’m going to think before I act, it’s with this. Because this is one of the most important things in my life and I know there wouldn’t be any coming back from that.”

Kiara opened and closed her mouth multiple times, before finally asking, “But what if it works out? What if you create something beautiful?”

You laughed in denial, your throat tight. “It wouldn’t, Kie. It kills me to say it, but I know myself. I can’t be what he needs. I can’t bank on what ifs, anyways.”

Kiara pulled you towards her, wrapping you in a warm embrace. She looked behind you at the guys, who, from the looks of things, were beginning to get suspicious of you guys.

You and Kiara began walking back. Right before the two of you were within earshot of the rest of the pogues, Kiara took your hand and said to you, with complete surety, “For the record, Y/N, I think you guys are being idiots. You were lucky enough to find something real and you’re throwing it away. Because what? Because you’re scared? I just—I just don’t get it.” She scoffed, shaking her head as walking back inside, leaving you back at square one, wondering if you were being foolish and cowardly.

Masterlist

Tag List (If there is a strike through your user it’s bc I couldn’t tag you bc tumblr is wack sometimes...)

@hurricane-abigail @omigodyall​ @timotaychalabae​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​@caswinchester2000​ @meghanisdeadinside​ @harrysbbby​ @official-maddibrown @xdelicates@maybebanks@yourwonderbelle @treestarrrrrrrr @loco-latte@sspidermanss@theradvibes @eviction-notice-no666@screamingnewsies @the-fandom-life-forever @dolanfivsosxox@vibin-n-thrivin @em-aesthe  @the-real-jort @riverdaleserpent04@free-pool-trash @mileven-reddie @drewswannabegirl@queen1054 @eternalharry@alwayshopelesss @superqalifragilistik@smileyxdolans@fangirling-all-day @dianaillusion@catonthesideoftheroad @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise​ @thelovelydreamer17 @http-cherries​ @pit-zuh​ @kisssmefree​ @starryblueeyesandstarryblueskies​ @outerbankstings​ @oliviadrake1​

I’m also kind of new to tagging and rlly bad at it so if something is wrong, I’m sorry and pls let me know and I’ll try my best to fix it!

I also lost my updated tag list i’m so dumb so let me know if I told you i would tag you and i didn’t oop

Stay safe and stay healthy!

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Resource Management, pt15

Word Count: 2903 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77

Erin hadn’t even gone through the stack of paperwork she had dumped on me. I was surprised, to be honest. She was usually a little more diligent when she was turning over assignments. Maybe she was as angry as she appeared. I started flipping through the reports and sorting them according to which form they were. Then I alphabetized them. Then I went back and ordered them numerically, as I realized that we’d switched from names to ID numbers. Once I had everything sorted, I started checking each ID number against the casualty list from the attack and deactivated every report that no longer needed to be assessed. It was late in the afternoon by the time I had got that far. It was boring and thankless, and I needed a break. I poked my head into Erin’s office to see what she was working on.

“Hey, I’m going to run down to Starbucks for a latte. Want anything?” I asked. She looked up and smiled.

“I’ll come with.” She pulled her purse out and followed me out of the office. “How are those reports coming?”

“Erin, you should have told me you were so far behind on them. I could have helped you,” I admonished her. A scowl flashed across her face, but just as quickly vanished. I was sure she was hoping I hadn’t noticed.

“We had a lot come through while you were at the academy. I figured I’d be able to catch it up this week. Until Fury downgraded my clearance,” she grumbled.

“Where have you sent your resume?” I asked. Erin stopped and gave me a look of surprise.

“Oh my god, I was just blowing off steam, Annie!” She exclaimed. “I have no intention of finding another job. I was just pissed off.”

“Could have fooled me,” I commented as we turned into the Starbucks. She fell silent as we stepped in line.

“Do you think I should be looking?” She suddenly asked.

“Well, you’re obviously not happy. Venti non-fat London Fog please.” I handed some cash to the barista, and turned back to Erin. “Maybe you should be looking for somewhere safer.”

“Do you think my job is in jeopardy?” Erin pressed. I accepted my change and looked at her, long and hard. I could feel myself giving the ‘are you an idiot’ face to her.

“Erin, if you don’t follow through with what the director wants, your life may be in jeopardy. Isn’t that more important than a paycheque?” I demanded. “I mean, really. I get that this is not what you signed up for, but we’ve entered an arena now where risk-negation is far more important than personal pride. Don’t you think you’re being a little childish?”

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel,” she snapped as she paid for her coffee. We moved toward the pick up area. I could feel my cheeks flushing and my heart thumping in my chest.

“Okay, I will. I very nearly fucking died last week. I was a target in that attack. Everyone in our department that was at work fucking died except for me. So forgive me if I’m a little sensitive about this, but grow the fuck up. Fury is trying to keep you safe and alive as well as keep SHIELD running. If that means you need to put on a pair of runners and do five K, or take your fucking sidearm to the range and learn to defend yourself, maybe you should. Be more proactive about your personal safety. And if you really don’t want to take those steps, then yes, I think you should be looking for a new job at a different agency,” I retorted. The barista handed my tea across the counter. I snapped a lid on it and walked out, not waiting for Erin.

When I got back to the office, I tossed a ‘do not disturb’ note on the door and shut it before getting back at the stack of reports. I connected my phone to my console and put my favourite playlist on to keep the outside distractions down and then started pounding away at the pile. It shouldn’t have taken Erin more than a few hours to resolve what she’d given me, and I was determined to get it done before I went home. I kept my head down and pushed through, completely losing track of time. There was a tentative knock at my door on the third repeat of the playlist. I looked up as Stark opened the door. I raised an eyebrow at him. Tentative was not in his nature.

“Hey,” I looked back down at the report I was working on as he sat down across from me. He kicked his legs up and crossed his ankles on my desk

“Your receptionist was just locking up when I arrived. She said you haven’t left your office since three.”

“I had a pile of crap dumped on my desk that should have been managed while I was away two weeks ago,” I explained. “It’s been a long day.”

“But Coulson sent hugs and kisses in his text message. You should be all swoony,” he teased. I groaned and opened my phone. I pulled the tracer sticker off and tossed it in the garbage, giving him a smug look.

“Stay out of my text messaging,” I said, for emphasis. Stark just laughed.

“Where are we going for dinner?” He asked.

“We are going nowhere for dinner, Stark. Anna and I have an actual date. No work tonight.” Phil caught Stark off guard, and Stark rocked back in the chair just enough that he lost his balance. There was some undignified limb flapping, and his feet crashed to the floor before he regained his balance.

“I know when I’m not wanted.” I had to hand it to Stark; he knew how to play the wounded drama queen. He rose and walked to the door, his face a mask of exaggerated sadness. I looked at Phil and back to Stark.

“You are not wanted, Stark. However, I think we should get together tomorrow and go over what we know and what we’ve discovered.” Phil gave Stark the bland smile that I’d learned was his business fuck-off. Stark glanced my way and seeing the set of my jaw, sighed.

“Fine. I’ll bring my secret decoder ring tomorrow and we can find out who’s been stealing the lightbulbs from Old Man Johnson’s backdoor.” He swept out of the office, leaving Phil and I in confused silence. I looked at Phil and back at the door and cracked up. Phil shook his head.

“So tell me about this coded message.” Phil and I were sitting in my living room, eating Thai take-away. I took a big mouthful of noodles and chewed.

“Kate’s grandma called today. She’s Kate’s next of kin,” I started, and took a sip of my beer. “I figured she was calling about Kate’s life insurance, but she wanted to tell me all about this hornet nest she had in her yard years ago. She said something about smoking it, so the hornets left it but were calm, and then setting off a bug bomb, and then burning the nest so they couldn’t come back. I thought she must just have Alzheimer’s or something, but when I looked in Kate’s file, it showed her grandma had been a field agent.”

“What’s Granny’s name?” Phil asked.

“Cecelia Banks,” I answered. Phil choked on a mouthful of Pad Thai. I smacked him on the back and handed him his beer. He took a drink and coughed a couple time to clear his throat.

“Cecelia Banks? Jesus, she’s legendary,” he coughed again. “Her name is constantly being brought up at the academy. She discovered a cell of traitors in the 60s, and she wasn’t sure how deep it went. So she planted false information about a project she was working on to root them out. When she knew the extent of the infiltration, she exposed the works. Basically burned the nest so there was nothing left. That was a fucking brilliant analogy. No wonder they say she was one of the best.”

“How could she possibly know the importance of sharing that story with me?” I puzzled.

“You should go offer your condolences to your friend’s grandmother,” Phil recommended.

“That’s an excellent plan. I’ll see if Barton can meet me earlier tomorrow so I can drive up. She’s in Philly. Think you can get away and join me?” I asked. He nodded.

“Yeah. Fury has asked me to keep an eye on you anyhow.”

“I thought you were the mysterious security detail,” I laughed. “Natasha was quite concerned that she didn’t know who you were.”

“How did that go today?” He asked. I launched into an explanation of my training time, and how incredible Natasha was. I mean, Phil knew what I was talking about, so I really had no need to be so descriptive, but it had been an excellent session, and I could feel the ache settling into my muscles. Natasha was a tough teacher, and was going to challenge me, and I liked that. Phil leaned back on the couch and watched me as I gestured and tried to demonstrate stuff we’d done all alone. The indulgent smile, and loosened tie, combined with his completely relaxed posture and lazy grip on his beer bottle made me stop, midsentence and just look at him. I cocked my head to the side and smiled. He raised his eyebrows.

“What?” He asked. I shook my head and collected our plates and took them into the kitchen and brought us each another beer. I climbed onto the couch beside him and stretched my legs across his lap. He wrapped an arm around my knees as I leaned into his side. When I handed him the beer bottle he smirked.

“I know it’s a little early in the week for a two-beer-evening, but I’m feeling a little less invincible tonight. I feel vincible. Is vincible even a word?” I asked. He laughed and kissed my forehead.

“I’m not sure.” He ran his hand along my bare leg. “Is this what you wore at work today?”

“Yeah. Why?” I started pulling the pins out of my bun and fluffing my hair.

“Complete with your glasses there on your blouse all day?” He nodded toward where my glasses were tugging at the front of my blouse.

“Yeah. Why?” I asked.

“I got a text earlier today asking if Librarian Dominatrix Barbie was my new girlfriend or if it was The Other One.” He put air quotes around Librarian Dominatrix Barbie and The Other One. “I guess Librarian Dominatrix Barbie is my new girlfriend.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or amused. I chose to be amused. It wasn’t the first time I had been compared to Barbie. It wouldn’t be the last. I could be offended every time, and point out the obvious differences: my boobs weren’t that big, my waist wasn’t that small, I wasn’t tall enough, my panties weren’t permanently molded onto my body and I was able to bend at the waist. Or I could roll with it, and let people underestimate me. It was probably to my advantage to let people underestimate me.

“So do I smack you around with a riding crop or a dictionary?” I teased.

“Well, if you have a dictionary, maybe we can look up vincible before you start hitting me,” he chuckled.

“Be forewarned. All my dirty talk tonight will be in words of no fewer than four syllables,” I taunted, whispering in his ear.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever looked forward to castigation and deprivation more.” He leaned across my legs and placed his beer bottle on the table, then took mine and put it beside his. He lifted my legs off his lap and slid across me, pinning me under him on the couch.

“Hey! I’m supposed to be Dominatrix Librarian Barbie. Get off!” I protested. He shook his head and smiled. I briefly considered flipping him off me, but in the end, I let him stay where he was. He was warm, and his hands were rough and it was exactly where I wanted to be after my day.

While Phil was in the shower, I sent a quick email to Erin to let her know I was going to be out of the office for the day. I clicked through the other emails and saw one from Barton in response to my message about changing our training time. I quickly responded by text message to let him know I was available until ten, and by the time I’d hit send, Erin had emailed back, demanding to know why I wasn’t coming in. I opted to phone her instead.

“What the hell, Annie? You chewed me out yesterday and then locked yourself in your office for the rest of the afternoon and now you aren’t coming in today?” She snarled into the phone instead of saying hello.

“One of the casualties from the attack had a dependent grandmother, and she phoned me yesterday. She wasn’t making any sense. I need to go see her to find out what needs to be put in place to ensure her safety. I think she has dementia.” I was not going to rise to the bait.

“And no one else can do that?” The venom was just dripping through the phone at me.

“Considering she called me, I thought it prudent that I check into this myself. If she has some sort of memory loss, it might help to hear my name.” I hoped that made sense. I knew nothing about dementia.

“Fine, whatever. Do whatever you feel prudent, Madam Director.” Her tone was contemptuous. It was time to rise to the bait.

“You know what? Don’t bother coming in today either, Erin. You can take a day without pay for insubordination,” I replied coldly.

“Fuck you. I don’t answer to you. Unless Fury tells me to take the day off, I’m not staying home.” The line went dead.

“That went well,” I sighed.

“What was that about, princess?” An unfamiliar male voice asked from the kitchen door. I dropped the phone and whirled around. It was Barton. How he’d got in was beyond me.

“Jesus Christ, Barton!” I gasped. “You scared the shit out of me.”

I prayed that Phil had head us talking, but I could hear the shower still running. Barton looked through my cupboards for a coffee cup and sat down to drink his coffee. I leaned against the counter, between him and the hall to the bathroom and my bedroom, hoping to somehow intercept Phil before Barton saw him.

“Hey, Annie?” Phil’s voice floated down the hall. “Can you toss my shaving kit to me? I left it at the front door.”

I closed my eyes and fought to keep my face calm. I knew Barton would have noticed the shoes at the door, so he would be expecting my boyfriend. But he knew Phil well, and I was just hoping he wouldn’t recognize his voice. I turned to get the shaving kit from the entry, but when I moved to head down the hall, Barton blocked me, and took the bag from me. Without a word he walked down the hall and knocked on the door. I stood, frozen in place, where he’d left me. Phil opened the bathroom door. Barton dropped the shaving kit into Phil’s hand, turned and walked back to the kitchen. He sat down and looked in his coffee cup and up at me and then back to his coffee cup.

“What’s in my coffee?” He asked.

“Nothing,” I answered. The look on his face made my blood run cold. Barton’s eyes narrowed and he was across the kitchen and had me against the fridge in seconds.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN MY COFFEE?” He screamed at me. Phil was in the doorway of the kitchen in a flash, towel around his waist, sidearm drawn and trained on Barton. If I hadn’t been so fucking terrified, I would have laughed. He only had half his face shaved, and the other half was still covered in shaving cream.

“Let go of Director Ellis, Barton,” he ordered. Barton looked at Phil, then at me. He looked back at Phil and his face fell. His grip loosened and he slowly let go of me, without taking his eyes off Phil. I saw a tear snake down his cheek and without realizing what I was doing, I reached out and rubbed his shoulder. He pulled away from me without looking in my direction. Phil lowered his weapon and placed it on the counter beside him. Barton took two steps to cover the distance between them and reached out hand to Phil. Phil, aware of his partial nudity, intercepted the gesture and turned it into a handshake.

“This isn’t the way I would have liked to tell you, Clint, but –“

“Jesus Christ, Phil?” Barton pulled him into a bear hug. Phil looked so incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. He patted Barton’s back stiffly, and then extricated himself from Barton’s arms. He backed up a few steps, grabbed his sidearm and pointed at the bathroom.

“I’m just going to go get dressed. I’m sure you have questions.”

[thefionahamer]

When I was a child I loved to play around the “magical” twisted trunk of a huge weeping willow (salix babylonica) in a gully behind the house on Adnamira.  It was a little off-putting, however, when I traipsed down the paddock one day with my adventure Barbie dolls,  to find a whole nest of baby black snakes all writhing under the roots just where I’d planned to set up camp.  Nevertheless, I still have a fondness for weeping willows, from a bit more distance.

Along the river we also have black willows (salix nigra), crack willows (salix fragilis) which sound like nasty addicts but merely break easily, basket willows (salix rubens) and possibly white willows (salix alba).  Some of them have been growing in huge clumps for at least fifty years.   They were always in the same place and I never saw them spread, because they did not seed.

We planted cuttings from some of them along Mullion Creek and around the springs on Adnamira, as a way of stabilizing the banks.

Weeping willows are still okay, but unfortunately, the non-weeping varieties are now able to seed and spread and potentially choke up the river, driving out the native casuarinas.  That’s a problem, because in the winter when willows drop their leaves, they affect the water quality and temperature,  again making the environment more hostile for the native fish and other creatures.   I’ve seen areas of the Molonglo river upstream from us that grow nothing but willows, although others have been worked on to allow a refuge for native plants.

It’s only in the last five years that we’ve seen hundreds of new willow seedlings shooting up, meaning the invasion had reached us.  So I put “invasive willow eradication” on my list of jobs, waiting for the right moment.

The right moment occurred in the form of Fabian, visiting from Germany in February, who was prepared to tackle a variety of tasks I didn’t want to do alone (or some of them, frankly, at all).

We worked out what tools we would need.  I didn’t want to spray the foliage because the spray would go in the water, so we experimented with using a drill to make a hole in the bark and them sprayed glyphosate directly into it.  Unfortunately, we were using the drill on “backwards” so it was surprisingly hard work, and the drill was heavy.  It may also have felt heavy because I was coming down with flu. Also the first spray bottle I tried simply dripped everywhere. So instead I got a nice sharp handaxe and a cheaper (but more effective) spray bottle and sent Fabian out again while I succumbed to the attack of flu.

The poisoning was a slow process, because many of the young trees were growing among the rocks right at the edge, or even in the middle of the river, so Fabian had to wade out around them.  Definitely a job for the warmer weather.  And the older trees in many cases had been pushed by floods into a tangle of limbs that had to be individually treated.

None of the trees were removed.  We’ll just let them rot over time.  Any small cut branches were put up high to keep them from taking root.

Things were going well until Fabian came rushing back, covered in European wasp stings.  He’d been hanging upside down below a trunk, trying to reach some awkward branches with his axe, so it was hard to get right side up and run away.  His face and neck were horribly puffed up, as wasps, unlike bees, can sting over and over.

Full of feelings of revenge, we scouted out the tree by night (when European wasps are less active), using red filters on head torches that supposedly meant they could not see us.

Unfortunately, the site was very awkward, slanting sidewards into the trunk.  To get really close to it would require balancing across the fallen branches.  Also, as we shone our supposedly “invisible” lights into the hole from a distance, I could see insect eyes staring straight back at me.   We beat a hasty retreat with our sprays and bottle of diesel fuel.   So did Michael Carter a few nights later when he went and checked out the possibility of pouring soap (a contact poison for them) into the hole.   We all had to finally admit it was a job for the professionals.

Most recently I went to check on how the willows were going (dying) and found pretty good results.  There’ll be more to do next year, but I hope no more wasps.

  MAKING WILLOWS WEEP When I was a child I loved to play around the "magical" twisted trunk of a huge weeping willow (