#ryker is just gonna post this and sleep

[finnofamerica]

Awful Heart - Dwalin X Reader || Part Three ||

Summary: Being a live engineer for Poor Impulse Control, you usually don’t get a lot of attention. However, playing at seedy bars and the growing popularity of the band has caught the attention of some man - a stalker. With no idea who he is and his notes coming more frequently your production manager thought it’d be safer to hire a bodyguard. (Modern AU)

Word Count: 1,788

Date Posted: 05.01.2020

Note: Y’all I’ve been on a roll with this series that nobody wanted. I am rolling. Rolling. Guys. I can’t. 

|| Masterlist || Part Two || 

Dwalin was up early the next morning to make sure that the contract would make its way back to Erebor. Since the tour officially started last night in the Band’s hometown, Dwalin thought it’d be best if he made sure you got home safely last night followed up with a promise to meet you back at your apartment in the morning.

“So you’ve worked at this bar before?” Dwalin asked as he prepared to ride with you to your apartment. 

“Yeah, all the time. The owner is an old friend of Aaron’s so he lets us play for a discounted price.” You shrugged. 

“So it’d make sense if your stalker was a regular patron then.” 

“I really don’t want to talk about that.” 

Dwalin shook his head. He could understand why you didn’t want to talk about it, but not talking about it wasn’t going to fix the problem. 

As early in the morning as it was, you were awake when he arrived. In fact, you had already packed by the time Dwalin knocked on your door. 

“Morning,” Was all you said when you opened the door. 

“Morning.” Was all that was returned. 

“The bus will be here in fifteen minutes. It’s good that we had the sense to pack everything in last night.” You set your bag down and stretched. Dwalin had to restrain himself from eyeing the sliver of skin that showed just above your pants. Be professional, he chastised himself. He wasn’t a blind man, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t control himself better than a teenage boy. 

It was quiet for a long time while you waited for the van to arrive. Your neighbor passed by quietly with his dog, bidding you a good morning. 

“You’re sure there’ll be enough room for me?” Dwalin asked, interrupting the quiet of the morning. 

“There’s gonna have to be. Aaron hired you along.” You shrugged, then noticing his frown you continued, “We have a big van. You’ll be fine.” 

The van in question was actually Josh’s old van. She was sturdy and she’d get you where you wanted to go, but after all these years, she needed a little TLC. You settled into the van with ease, ending up in the middle row while Everett, that ass, laid across the entire back seat. Up in the front passenger seat with the same fluffy blond curls and boyish smile as ever, was Dix. 

“Hi, Dwalin right?” He reached a hand out. “I’m James Dixion, though most everyone around here calls me Dix. You can too if you’re cool. I’m the lighting tech. I see you’re already well acquainted with our lovely little Y/n/n.” 

Dwalin nodded, letting Dix do most of the talking. 

“Driving is Joshua Vaughn, he is our drum tech. This sack of shit van is his.” 

Josh reached over and smacked Dix across the head with the back of his hand. 

“Ignore him,” Josh said, flicking some of his shoulder-length brown hair over his shoulder, glancing at Dwalin in the rearview mirror. “He’s jealous that his tiny dinky car couldn’t make the cut.” 

“My dinky car is perfectly fine!” 

“We are not putting six people in that tiny car.” 

“Six people?” Dwalin asked. 

“Oh yeah,” Dix continued. “Aaron will be joining us whenever he gets too annoyed at Ryker. Whom you’ve already met, and the girls Magdalyn Rose, Ava Reyes, and Juniper Drake.” 

“Why would he be getting annoyed at Ryker?” 

“They’re siblings,” You explained, “Ryker and Aaron Jones. When the band started getting big, Ryker turned to her brother to help her manage gigs and now he’s the production manager.” 

“Can you guys quiet down, I’m trying to sleep.” Piped up the voice from the back seat. 

“And that lazy lump back there is Everett Reed. He’s our guitar tech.” Dix finished off the introductions. Everett lifted a hand over the back seat, flipping off Dix. 

It was at that moment that Dwalin realized he’d be spending a lot of time in this van and he wondered if signing up for this was really worth the paycheck. Then he saw your smile, and how much you loved these boys. So he settled in and dug a book out of the bag that he’d brought. 

It was quiet for a long time, Josh and Dix talking amongst themselves in the front while Everett’s light snores served as ambiance. You studied Dwalin for a moment, growing bored of staring out the window or giving Josh and Dix a reason to argue. 

Dwalin was leaning back against the bench reading The Art of War. As big of a man as he was the book looked small in his hands. His beard was long and rough, but well kept at the same time. 

“You’re staring again.” He said, barely taking his eyes off his book. 

“You remind me of a bear.” You commented. It wasn’t a big deal to you, lots of people reminded you of animals. He just rose a brow at you, huffed, and went back to reading. 

. . .

Several days went on like this, long days in the van driving to the next location for the next gig. Then it was up again in the morning and off to the next show. Switching up whoever was driving whenever the person in the driver's seat got too fatigued. Days felt like years in the van, everyone getting a little stir crazy, knowing that their only breaks were stops for meals and the restroom. 

“Y/n/n,” Dix whined from the middle seat. You were in the back by yourself stretching out your legs while Everett drove. “I’m bored.” 

“You’re kinda S.O.L then, aren’t you?” You rose a brow at him. 

“Play something.” He pouted, turning his brown puppy eyes on you, “Please?” 

You sighed, leaning over the back seat and opening up the guitar case you had stashed back there. Pulling out a beautiful electric guitar that looked like the night sky, and a small battery-operated amp that you could plug directly into your guitar. 

“What then?” You asked, strumming a few chords to check the tuning. 

“You can play the guitar?” Dwalin asked. He wasn’t much for talking, but a few things he wanted answers to. 

“Yeah,” Dix grinned, “She taught Ry everything that she knows. Though, Ry did always have the voice for this. Y/n/n should be in the band in my opinion.” 

“You know that that’s not happening, Dix.” You shook your head. “I don’t like attention.” 

“Which is kinda ironic when you think about it.” The blond mused. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

. . .

The more Dwalin learned about you, the more he wanted to know more. You didn’t like talking about your stalker or why Dwalin’s services were needed in the first place. You would simply refuse to talk about it. He’d thought long and hard on the situation at night while you slept, leaned against his side. 

“We’re here, everyone,” Aaron pulled to a stop alongside another bar. A light sleeper yourself, you woke at his words, but Josh and Everett took stronger efforts. 

“The Royal Growler?” Dix snorted incredulously. You sat up in your seat, taming your hair before climbing out of the van, happy to stretch your legs after a fourteen-hour drive. 

“I’m gonna go introduce myself to the house guy.” You told Aaron, knowing that he’d be following close behind, along with your mountain of muscle that he hired. 

“You too, Big Bear,” You didn’t need to say it, but you wanted to see if you could get Dwalin to squirm. He didn’t outwardly squirm, but squirm he did. Big Bear? What the hell did that mean? He hated it but at the same time, it didn’t sound so bad coming from you. So he followed, he was going to regardless, but he followed in shock. 

However, soon enough your crew was cleared to set up. Each one of them was happy to have the chance to actually use their muscles, including you. 

Dwalin was beginning to love watching you work, watching you carry and move all of these heavy boxes, upwards of seventy pounds apiece. It didn’t help that today your muscled legs were exposed due to your shorts, and suddenly Dwalin felt like a teenager again. You were under his charge, he shouldn’t be looking at you like you were available to him. You weren’t available to him. You’d never be. It wasn’t appropriate. 

Everett brought back Mexican food. 

“I wasn’t sure what to get you, big guy, so I got you the biggest thing I could think of.” He handed a bag to Dwalin, “Tonight’s not gonna be much fun on an empty stomach.” 

Dwalin watched on as Everett turned his attention to you, handing you a styrofoam box of your own. “For you, Little Mamma.” 

You did a little dance in your spot, excited at the prospect of digging into your duo beef and cheese enchiladas. Now that wouldn’t have impressed Dwalin in the slightest if it weren’t for the fact that it also came with rice and beans. It seems that Dwalin wasn’t the only one who could pack away food. Is it bad that he found that attractive about you? 

And soon enough the lights were down, the alcohol was flowing, and the crowd was beginning to thicken. Dwalin stood close to you, on one hand, to keep the drunks away, on the other because he wanted to be close to you. 

You didn’t mind really, he gave you enough space not to crowd your work, and you knew he was watching out for you. When the bar got hot, he’d shrug off his leather jacket, and when you weren’t admiring the muscle in his arms you were admiring his sleeves of tattoos that ran down his arms. 

The tattoos weren’t as hardcore as you expected. One arm was a mountain range and a forest, beautifully done. You almost couldn’t believe that it was ink on skin. The other, clockwork and skulls and flowers. Edgy but soft, and you had a sneaking suspicion that this grouchy mountain next to you was just like that. 

Then the crowd was gone, like a whirlwind, and things were being packed up. You could hear some party song playing loudly at the other end of the bar, but that didn’t matter because it was the end of the night and you were ready to pass out from exhaustion. 

Then the bar owner arrived and handed you a note. 

Just a small scrap of paper. 

Did you miss me these past few days? I missed you, beautiful. 

I’ll see you at the next show

- N

tags: open || Part Four || 

[yiangchen]

Wait which 6x11 sex scene is this???? I saw you reblogged a post About it but I never saw anything about a sex scene and i am dying to know omg

A while back Jason tweeted about some episode they were breaking where “everyone sits around talking about feelings and having sex” and it was later confirmed to be 6x11 (Bob’s episode). Initially, a lot of people just thought he was trolling us. Because of course our first thought would be that Blarke is gonna have sex in 6x11. But the more I think about it, the more likely it seems. 

All of the current relationships (aside from Mackson) have already had a sex scene, and in the history of the show, there have never been two sex scenes with two of the same people. 

So, it seems likely that Mackson will be having sex, and then there has to be more, right? Because Jason said “everyone”. So, I’m assuming Raven will probably sleep with that Ryker guy and maybe Octvia with Xavier, but i doubt it because Marie said something recently that makes me think she won’t get with anyone this season. 

Whatever the case, neither of those pairings knew each other before this season, so even if they have sex, I don’t think there will be a lot of deep feelings involved. Of course there’s also Mackson who have been together since last season, but they’ve never been a focus of the show. 

There have to be two characters that 1. are of major significance to the story, 2. have deep feelings for each other and 3. have not had sex yet. The only two characters that fit those three criteria are Bellamy and Clarke. Now, obviously, I could be wrong, but I really doubt it. 

Bellamy was shown grieving Clarke for an entire episode for a reason, and the fact that they coupled that with E.cho spending the whole episode thinking about him is very telling. Bellamy is all about Clarke right now. And the second he finds out she’s still alive, the narrative has made it pretty clear that he’s gonna drop everything to go and save her, and I can’t imagine how getting her back won’t lead to a confession on his end. Clarke’s too. 

They both just lost each other again. There has to be a reason. It has to be leading somewhere. They wouldn’t have had Bellamy grieve for an entire episode (something that has never been done with any other character on this show before) and have 80% of the voices Clarke hears in her head be Bellamy if this wasn’t all leading somewhere. 

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x06 analysis: A night-without-blood, only tears

Loved this episode. We got a glimpse of the old Bellamy, albeit small, but he was there. The pacing was better. We finally got to meet Sheidheda. And, I called it in my predictions post last week, Clarke Griffin’s coming back. 

Is it weird to watch this show knowing Bob and Eliza are married? Not for me, I separate the characters from the actors easily. Just once again, I’m thrilled they found their happily ever after. Please check out the wedding gift donation.

Madi crossing to the dark side

Obviously, this is the worse to come out of the whole body-snatching ordeal. Josephine couldn’t care less about her new daughter. Although Gaia is Madi’s teacher, she’s still her subordinate. Without any guidance, sweet little Heda falls straight into the exploiting claws of her evil predecessor. 

I didn’t think this would rise so soon, but I fear we might have a new Bloodreina on our hands. The Sanctumites killed Madi’s mother, she will retaliate with full force and who could blame her. If you took mine for self-serving reasons, I’ll want vengeance too. 

Somehow, I still think those machines strapped to her head is Josephine’s handiwork, wanting something from the flame. Or maybe it’s a way to pull Madi back from the dark hole she’s fallen into. 

Either way, it looks like she’s becoming a villainous character who wants revenge and I hope she succeeds. Russel may have goodness inside, yet he still murdered an innocent person to bring his daughter back. Ryker, on the other hand, is a quizzical one.

The 100 episode 6 - Return of the cockroach

We all knew he would take that deal but, as expected, terms and conditions apply. Clarke’s dead, there’s nothing they can do about it. Teaming up with Josie means they get the Sanctumites’ help with survival and he earns eternal life. 

It makes sense for him, Clarke wasn’t his favorite person and what’s done is done. Obviously, he knows convincing Bellamy will be a lot harder.

That was all of our reactions. And then he goes and spoils it all by saying some stupid like it’s what Monty would have wanted. Oomf the trump card. No violence, no eye-for-an-eye, just look forward and do better. Oh, and it’s what Clarke would have wanted too.

In some twisted way, he’s right. His way saves everyone else including Bellamy and the planet or moon or whatever. Both Murphy and Josephine’s manipulation this episode is vulgar yet brilliant. Richard and Eliza, you killed it.

Meanwhile, in the woods, the badass trio is being summoned

May I just highlight this line: “Forty vestil virgins and a side dish of none of your damn business.” Man, I love Diyoza too bits. And Xavier. And Octavia. And I hope Marie gets that Emmy nomination because she deserves the hell out of it.

So, Diyoza learns about Gabriel’s rebellion but refuses to join in order to save her daughter’s life. She’s not your conventional mother hen but the way she looks out for Octavia and her child is a clear depiction of her ability to care. 

How did Xavier know Diyoza is expecting a girl???

There are tons of rumors that Xavier is Gabriel. I don’t think he is. Or rather, I hope he’s not. I want Gabriel to be an anomaly as much as he “lives” in one. Perhaps he can only exist inside it because of his age? But he’s calling them for a reason and I bet that reason is “death to primes” and Clarke’s resurrection.

I’m still sticking to my time travel theory of Diyoza meeting Hope and Octavia facing off with Bloodreina. I’d love to see what Xavier’s battles might be. Also, I’m pretty sure these three’s journey is the conclusion to all of their problems and the Blakes’ reconciliation. The villains of earth become the heroes of Sanctum was foreshadowing, I'm certain.

Abby, wtf is wrong with you?

How on earth does she not see through the inconsistencies in her daughter’s behavior? Echo figures it out before she does for heaven's sake. And after everything they’ve done in the past, she decides it’s alright to resurrect the man she loves at the cost of someone else.

Will she resort back to drugs after this too? Clearly, she can’t deal with the thing’s she’s done. Turning Jake in. Becca’s lab. The dark year. And now she’s doing it again. All because her daughter tends to think it’s okay and doesn’t want to lose her. Open your damn eyes, Clarke would never ask you to do something that selfish.

Raven and Ryker

Can someone please shut Raven up. Her self-righteous attitude this season is sickening. She did bad things too. Asking Clarke to kill Lexa. Sacrificing Murphy so Finn could live. Refusing to give Abby medicine for radiation poisoning. Has she forgotten? But worst of all, she left the hard decisions up to Bellamy and Clarke and now she’s mad because they made them.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the piece of her mind she gave Ryker. But the condescending way in which it’s done is annoying. He clearly needs to hear it and she touched where it hurts. Is it wrong to like him and hope he survives? Out of all the primes, it seems like he and Gabriel are the only ones with a conscience. Russel’s is debatable.

They are not gods. What makes them so special? Knowledge? Intellect? Wisdom? And creating a realm of worship so people would sacrifice themselves for you is revolting and everything but divine or remarkable.

Yes, Echo gets a narrative!

The woman is smart, dangerous and loyal. So far, she’s been nothing but Bellamy’s girlfriend and subject, so I’m glad she finally got a storyline of her own. I’m sure the mercy kill of the guard was used purely to show her compassion, which her boyfriend questioned a few episodes ago. Many people still do not like her. 

Being an amazing spy, she extorts Jade for information and figures out that Clarke’s gone. Her natural inclination is to attack which Bellamy, to my surprise, shoots down. That look in her eye suggests she’s not done though. She’ll probably save Jade’s life in exchange for being a double agent. Which could be a great asset to our heroes.

Tasya Teles said that her favorite dynamic of the show is yet to come and that Echo is bisexual. I can see the two of them partnering up and that’s a team I both route for and ship. They’re equals, they have similar backgrounds, they’re caring in a complex way. Why not be those things for each other?

In the end, it all boils down to Bellamy and Clarke

Bellamy’s tears, tears, and more tears this episode was heartbreaking. Don’t hate me, it wasn’t as convincing as, “We can’t lose Clarke, we can’t lose her!” or “I left her to die and we all die anyway!” though. Why is his mourning stressed this way? Maybe because he lost someone he loves like Russel suggested.

Acting out of anger, he tried to choke Russel for killing her and I imagine the following stopped him: “You have such a big heart Bellamy... but to make sure we survive, you have to use this too.” Especially because he later states that we survive, it’s what Clarke would have wanted.

Tears welled in my eyes when he told Madi. And that hug gave me painful father-daughter feels. At least he’ll try to keep his promise to Clarke and take care of her. Bellamy, you better, that girl is taking a wrong turn. Even if I agree with her cause, following a venomous lead will land her in scorching hot water.

I really would have loved to see Miller, Jackson and Jordan's grief too. And it looked like Spacekru didn't care much after she saved their lives countless times. That scene was underwhelming, truly.

Now, as I predicted, Clarke appears in Josephine’s dreams when she finally sleeps. Which images haunt her? Roan, Abby, Madi, Lexa, Bellamy. I saw tweets of other’s but those were clear to me. Accompanied by Abby, Bellamy and her own words to Lexa. The most important people in her life, right?

I knew this would happen, something obviously went wrong with the insertion or Clarke is just a fighter. I don’t think it has anything to do with synthetic nightblood. Josephine, honey, you’re in for the wildest and scariest rollercoaster ride of your life. Clarke Griffin is a force to be reckoned with and she won’t stop until her prison break is successful. 

I cannot imagine the experience of living in your own mind to be pleasant. Especially not while fighting Josephine Lightbourne for power. Poor, poor, Clarke.

Bellamy was the first to notice Josephine isn’t Clarke and I’m sure he’s gonna realize that she still exists too. The devil will let something slip or act weird and he’ll pick up on it. Either that or Jade informs Echo. Once he solves that puzzle, he will stop at nothing until she returns to him. But Bellamy, please keep your eye on Madi throughout, do not follow in Abby’s footsteps.

Will Clarke’s dreams hold a confession of feelings? Will Bellamy confess to Josephine? Will there be any sort of confession?

Last week someone called my Becho theories typical. Fine, I may be biased but I only write what I see on my screen and if you disagree, I’d love to know why.

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Hearthway Hollow Chef Ryker Part 2

Again, many, many thanks to @momolady​ for letting me post my bastardized version of her story because I just couldn’t help myself from changing little details into big details into remodeling the whole damn story and playing god in her universe which please don’t do, that’s very disrespectful, of course I realized it was probably disrespectful and all that after the fact and will not be repeating those transgressions in the future. But I have been saving these pics, especially that picture of “Ryker” ever since I commissioned her and I want everyone to seeeeeee. I do have fanfiction of this story, that will be coming up soon. It’s a 2.5 which basically everything that happens between chapter 2 and 3. And all these health problems in this part? Those are all real, those are all mine that I deal with on a daily basis. Enjoy. 

Hearthway Hollow Chef Ryker Part 2

“Mom, why aren’t we going?” Del whines from the passenger seat. 

“Give me a second, hun,” I grumble. I try cranking the car again but the engine just whines for a moment before shutting down. “The car isn’t behaving.” I knew I should have brought the camaro. That car had never failed me. They just don't make cars like they used to. 

I had stopped in Hearthway Hollow so Del and I could see the wolf reserve, but after breakfast this morning the car wouldn’t start at all. I take Del back inside and start searching through the phone book to find a tow service. 

“Looks like we may be stuck here for a few more days,” I tell Del. “The car is going to probably need a few repairs.”

“That’s ok. I like it here better,” Del says with a big grin. “Are we still going to be able to go see the wolves?”

I sigh and sit down with her on the couch. “I’ll try to get us there, no worries. Once the tow truck comes I’ll see if they know of any places where we can rent a car.”

“Ok,” she says with a shrug.

“You’re not upset we’ll miss the beach?” I ask her.

She shakes her head. “Not really,” she shrugs. 

“Oh? Why is that?” I ask curiously. 

“I only said that place because you seemed excited to go somewhere,” she murmurs. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

I grab her up and hug her so tight. “You’re so sweet! But this vacation was supposed to be for the both of us.”

“I like it here,” she murmurs, resting her head on my shoulder. “So is it ok if we stay here a little longer? It’s nice and you’ve already made friends here.”

“Amelie and Shahan?” I ask. I kiss her forehead. “So you like them?”

Del nods quietly. “I like Ryker too, he’s cool and he made good on his promise.” Del added. 

There’s a knock at the door and when I answer it’s Jack from the hardware store. “Oh hey,” he waves. “I thought the name sounded familiar. We’re here for the car.”

“Thank you.” I hand him over the car key. “Do you by chance any know of car rentals around here?

Jack takes out a card from his pocket. “This is the place you’ll wanna call. They’ll drive the car right over too.”

“Thank goodness,” I sigh. “I promised to take Del to the wolf reserve, and of course, the car won’t crank. I knew I should have brought the camaro, they just don't make cars like they used to."

"You have a camaro?" Jack asked excitedly. 

"67 SS, 350 with nos." I answered before I showed him a picture of it in all its emerald green glittering glory as he whistled lowly. 

"Wow, yeah you should’ve.” Jack chuckles. 

“But it doesn’t have air conditioning, I know there’s a company that makes air conditioners that can be retrofitted but I just haven’t gotten around to it.” I explained.  

“Well, isn’t that how it always is when you promise your kid something, something else breaks?” Jack chuckles. “I have your number, so as soon as we know what’s going on, I’ll give you a call.” Jack offers before he loads up my car onto the tow truck after I’ve emptied it out completely. 

I tell him goodbye before I go inside to call the number on the card. As i’m waiting for an answer, I see Ryker’s note laying on the counter. After I slept on it and thought it over, I didn’t know if I would have the courage to start messaging him, I was only going to be here a day or two and I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance to see him again after this trip. But now that it looked like I was going to be spending my vacation in Hearthway Hollow, maybe if wouldn’t be so bad to call him and hopefully get the chance to see him again. 

I make plans for a car to be dropped off at the cabin then I call Big Billy and explain the situation and agree to come in and rent the cabin for a week since I didn’t know how long it would take for the mechanic to fix it and send Ryker a quick text. ‘I’m having car issues and munchkin has decided to spend our vacation here. Any tips on how to continue to bring her out of her chicken nugget “shell” would be much appreciated.’ I text him but he doesn’t answer back and I pout at my phone. Maybe I just had my hopes up too high. 

I sit back down on the sofa while Del paints with her watercolors on the coffee table in front of the couch and watches cartoons when my phone chimes again, the chef has replied. My heart thrums excitedly to see what he’s said.

‘Who is this?’ came the response. 

I frown for a moment. ‘Zara. Zara Norris, Del’s mom. I was with Shahan and Amelie last night. I have a Michigan cell phone number, this message isn’t spam I pinky swear.’ I text back, hoping that would jog his memory. 

It’s another long moment before my phone beeps again. ‘Sorry, I work late and sleep in late. I’m not a smart morning person. Yeah of course I’ll help. More than happy to.’  And my smile blooms brighter and my heart does somersaults in my chest. 

‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you!’ I quickly apologize.

‘No worries. Did she enjoy the doggy bag I sent?’

I smile adoringly at my phone. ‘Yeah, she loved it, we both did, thank you so much, everything was awesome and delicious, it was the best meal of my life last night and then again this morning, thank you for the cheesecake too! That was the best I’ve ever had!’

‘Great. I’m gonna get coffee. Talk to you later.’

I smile to myself, wondering if I would ever get to see him again while I was still in Hearthway Hollow or if this was as close as I was gonna get. 

After a while the car was dropped off and I was given a key. I signed a few papers for the rental and gave a down payment for the first two days. As I was looking over the car and making sure I was used to the controls I saw something strange in the rearview mirror. There was something in the trees, moving around a bit. As I turned, I saw it go down the hill and onto Amelie and Shahan’s porch. It was a wolf, a massive one too. It went in through the open door and I panicked. I didn’t have Amelie’s number, nor did I know Shahan’s or where he worked. In a moment of desperation I dialed Ryker’s number.

“Hello?” he sounded confused.

“I-am-so-so-sorry-to-call-like-this! But-I-just-saw-this-wolf- walk-into-Amelie-and- Shahan’s-place! And-I-know-Amelie- is-home-alone- and-Shahan- isn’t-there- and-I don’t-know- anyone- here! What-do- I- do?! Do- I- call- 911?!” I spew out a stream of conscious thought that stringed together as one single word.

“Whoa, whoa,” Ryker started. “Calm down, a wolf?” He asks as he still sounds like he’s groggy. 

“Yes! A wolf, a huge one!” I’m nearly screaming and near a panic attack as electric shocks like lightning bolts shoot down my arms and into my hands until it feels like needles and knives are cutting into every nerve ending and down my legs making my legs spasm and into my rib cage, into the flesh in between each rib so it’s impossible to breathe until it subsides and into my face so my face twitches and twists against my will so and I cry out in pain because it’s unbearable and blinding for a moment and I’m overwhelmed. 

“I’ll be right there!” Ryker assures me before he hangs up.  

“Ok.” I spurt but he’s already hung up the phone. I give my body a moment to relax from the attack and use a breathing exercise to get me calmed down and stable as the attack stops and subsides and once I’m recovered, I attempt to dial him again but I go straight to his voicemail. “Oh crap, I’ve really done it now.” I groan and bang my head on the steering wheel. Great, now I’m a spaz. He’s going to tell me to loose his number. Way to go. 

I glance back to the cabin where Del is inside. I don’t want to leave her alone but I feel like I have to go make sure Amelie is ok. Then again, what am I going to do against a wolf of that size? As I’m trying to keep myself from panicking anymore because panic = pain for me, I see a car pull up to the house. It parks around then side where I can see it and Ryker gets out. He goes to the front door and a while later comes out the back. Amelie and Shahan are with him on the porch and they’re both as calm as can be. 

“What?” I whisper to myself. Ok, maybe I’m crazy and I’ve snapped again and I’m seeing things. 

The three of them wave up at me, but I feel so stupid I have a hard time waving back. I get a text on my phone. 

‘Mind if I come up?’ Ryker asks.

‘I feel like an idiot, are you sure?’ I answer.

‘I’ll have a look around the place, make sure there aren’t any wolves there. Just in case,’ he texts back. Is that a joke? I can’t tell. Well, time to face the music. 

I watch as he walks up the road to the cabin. He’s wearing a dark blue henley with the buttons undone, showing off the dark pelt on his chest. His hair is disheveled, looking like he combed it with his hands. It’s beautiful, whereas my hair is just ringlet curly and hella frizzy.

“Good morning,” he says with a smile. “You ok?” He asks worriedly. 

“Yeah, I’m just a spaz.” I try to downplay but he’s not buying it. “I have conversion disorder. Whenever I’m faced with any stress or anxiety or especially panic. My brain can’t process that or internalize it, it simply converts it into physical pain. I get “shocks” which feels like I’m being electrocuted and it travels all over my body, into my face, down my arms until it feels like red hot needles and knives are cutting and burning into every nerve ending I have, into my ribcage between each rib so I can’t breathe and down my legs into my feet until they feel just like my hands. It’s very painful.” I explained and Ryker just looks heartbroken to hear it.  “So yeah, thinking I saw a wolf walk into a house totally panicked me and I didn’t know Shahan was at the house! I never should have called, maybe I'm crazier than I think I am and am just seeing things.” I grumble in shame and I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye. 

“Hey, it’s ok, I would freak out too.” Ryker reassures me and closes the space between us and hugs me tight and I melt in his big strong arms and I’m pleasantly surprised when I feel so at peace and safe, like even if I was surrounded by a pack of wolves right now, I’d be ok, like nothing could ever get to me. 

“I’m just sorry it caused you pain, that’s all.” He murmured regrettably. 

“Thank you for not making fun of me.” I whimper as I continue to cling to him. 

“What? No, never! Have people made fun of you for this?” He asked his own outrage making his voice have a growl that sends a shiver down my spine but a smile bloomed on my face as he just continued to hold me. 

“Yeah, my husband, used to, he was a narcissistic asshole though. When I first got conversion, it got misdiagnosed as fibromyalgia and MS and I used to have to use a walker to get around and he would call me ‘gympopotomus’, a cross between gympy and hippopotamus.” You revealed as he took a sharp but deep breath in and held me even tighter as I could feel the hot air practicallyq come out of his ears as he buried his face in the crook of my neck and slowly released the breath as his jaw clenched. 

“He was a good and decent father to Del and he wasn’t so bad that he beat me or anything, he just wasn’t the nicest or kindest person, he struggled with sympathy and empathy.” I tried to explain. 

“And apparently being a decent human being.” Ryker huffed. 

“Yeah…” I sighed sadly before I withdrew from him which he seemed reluctant but let go of me and took a small step back to reestablish the distance between us.  

“Tell you what, just to be safe, I’ll look around while I’m here. If there’s anything suspicious, I’ll take care of it and make sure everything is..as it should be.” He reassures me and I’m relieved he’s not being sarcastic and he’s completely sincere and genuine. 

“Thanks.” My face is growing red hot as I look at him, my own smile growing bashful. Something about him just sets off all the bells and whistles for me to see him look so...normal and casual and comfortable. I follow him as he walks around the cabin, unable to take my eyes off of him again as he walks around the side where I had heard scratching the night before as he seems to start walking quicker to avoid looking at the claw marks under the window as his cheeks get rosy again before he clears his throat awkwardly, his sharp blue eyes study the ground for a moment before looking off into the woods as he rubs the back of his neck for a moment as things grow awkward again and I feel the need to break the tension. 

“So uhm...Ryker,” I chuckle. “That’s an interesting name.”

“My dad loved Star Trek,” he huffs. “So yes, I am named after that Ryker.”

“I knew it!” I gasp with a victorious smile then make myself shut up. “Sorry. I just had a gut feeling. I used to watch the show when I was younger. My uncle had every episode of every star trek on VHS and I grew up on it, Picard was of course my favorite but Ryker was a close second.” I grin. 

“And you’re a Norris? Like Chuck Norris.” He grins cheekily. 

“Yes, exactly like Chuck Norris, unfortunately not related to him. Because if I was, hey, when I did push ups, I’d push the earth down and my tears could cure cancer and venomous snakes would die if they tried to bite me.” I rattle off, remembering all the Chuck Norris jokes off the top of my head which makes Ryker bust up laughing. “So we both have famous names, that’s nice.” I  finish. “And before I was a Norris, I was a Wright girl so I grew up with being Zara Left or Zara Wrong, I don’t know if that’s better or worse.” I shrug as Ryker chuckles to that as his grin grew a little mischievous. 

“Oh I don’t think you ever stopped being the right girl.” Ryker flirts and my jaw drops and I giggle and blush like a teenager again. 

“So, Wright like the Wright brothers?” Ryker asked curiously. 

“Wright like Frank Lloyd Wright, the architect, now that one I am related to but distantly.” I answer. 

He turns to me with that same soft smile like I’m the moon again. “Believe it or not, my dad met my mom at a convention. She was working the hotel it was at and well, despite the fact he was dressed in a starfleet uniform, he managed to charm her.”

“That’s really cute actually.” We walk up onto the back porch where the sliding glass door is, the curtain still open and I can see Del through the dining room into the living room, still watching TV and painting. 

“I like to think so.” He leans over the railing.

Ryker motions to the door. “What’s Del doing?”

“Watercolor painting.” I answered. 

“Wow really?” Ryker asked, impressed. 

 “Oh yeah, Dell and I both love watercolors. I bought her a Paul Ruben’s set which are professional watercolors, she has her regular palate and her glitter palate so she’s good.” I explained as I gestured to show him about the size of it as I lean over the railing next to him so we're almost shoulder to shoulder as we look out over the woods.  “The only thing she’ll run out of is the watercolor paper. I suppose I’ll have to go shopping for more supplies.” I smile up at him. “That’s why I asked you for the food help.”

“How long you here for then?” He asks as he turns around, leaning back on the railing with his hands on it, making his broad chest and shoulders jut out and my eyes rake down him again as my mouth goes dry as I realize he’s asked me a question I should be answering as I once again mirror his body language by turning around and leaning back on the railing but I loosely cross my arms over my belly a little self consciously. 

“Uhm-” I try to collect my thoughts. “Honestly I don’t know. I haven’t heard from the mechanic yet. It could be a day or two or a week if the car is salvageable and if it isn’t I’ll just have my parents drive my other car down and I’ll finish my vacation in that but it doesn’t have air conditioning. So I don’t know.” I shrug. “Granted if I have to I’ll just spend my whole vacation here and I told my parents and my inlaws I’d be two to three weeks.” I amend. 

“Oh,” he blinks before his grin grows into a full blown smile. “That’s plenty of time, we can find a way to work something out, I’m sure.” He offers and my heart is back to a hummingbird pace. 

“Del likes it here, so I think we’ll find a way to pass the time.” A smile spreads across my face. “Just gotta research the town a bit and see what we can get into here.”

“Well Hearthway has lots to do. There’s the big park, I’m sure Del would like that. There’s South Paw lake you can take her to and go swimming or the community pool if you prefer, there’s trails galore you could go hiking, there’s a place that has horses and horse back riding lessons you could ride and take on the trails. There’s going to be day camp for kids coming up really soon, Billy and his family started it a few years back. Kids go there and get to do crafts and all sorts of stuff. I’m sure if you asked Billy he’d let Del join in.” Ryker offers. 

“Really?” I gasp. “She would love that!”

“I’m sure you could find ways to preoccupy yourself with other stuff too.” Ryker’s words has my insides feeling like pudding. 

“Yeah well,” I chuckle softly. “I’ve been trying to do that for a year now.”

Ryker furrows his brow and tilts his head. “A year?” Ryker repeats. 

I open my mouth as I try to decide what excuse to give. I then sigh and shake my head, deciding I would be blunt about it. “Michael, my husband and Del’s father- had his heart attack almost a year ago and passed away and it’s been a bit of a challenge to figure out what to do with myself, I quit my dayjob and completely focused on Del and getting her through this while I try to figure out how to get myself through it too.” I bite down on my cheek as I see the expression that washes over his face and I can see he has several things going on at once in his mind and I give him a moment to try to ask me something but he can’t seem to settle on anything. “But Del and I are fine, we go to therapy regularly, we’re both artists and we both like working with watercolors, acrylics and clay as our creative outlets and thankfully Michael thought ahead and planned ahead and had life insurance policies at work and then had a private one too so financially we’re fine, we’re not destitute or anything and every day it gets a little easier. But it’s best that we find ways to move on and heal. That’s what this whole vacation was about. I wanted to show Del we could move on, move forward and embrace something new without feeling like we’ve abandoned the old,  that as long as we had each other, we’d be ok, and we are.” I assured him. 

“You’re so young, I can’t imagine,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry, Zara.”

I shake my head. “It’s ok, really.” I then laugh. “I’m not all that young. I’m 33. I was 19 when I married Michael and I was 25 when I had her and that was after three years of trying too.” I explained as Ryker blinked in surprise before he just had this warm reassuring smile that makes me feel like I’m melting again. 

“Well, if you need anything while you’re here, you have my number, don’t be afraid to use it.” He runs his fingers through his thick hair. “Oh but, the food,” he chuckles. “So, are you a good cook?” He asks curiously.  

“Well I’m no michelin star chef,” I tease as Ryker barks a laugh and shakes his head. “But I like to think I’m fairly decent, I believe in the four food groups, butter, bone marrow, bacon grease and lard and one does not get this pudgy only eating salad.” I joke as I grab and jiggle my pudgy belly for emphasis as Ryker busts out laughing having nodded in agreement to my sentiments. “But seriously, even I’m banging my head against a wall with Del. She used to be a such a great adventurous eater and once Michael passed, she did a 180 and now she only wants to eat the foods Michael liked and Michael had one hell of a narrow food palate. I don’t know if that’s one of the ways she’s choosing to grieve or what but all it’s been for the last year has been lots and lots of chicken, pork, beef and venison. In that order because he liked to hunt and she thinks deer chili is better than beef. But we’ve eaten the last of it now and I’m uncomfortable accepting any other “sources” of it.” I explained. 

“Sources?” Ryker repeated in confusion. 

 “Michael’s friends who also hunt who now think they have a shot with me to get at Michael’s life insurance money, which they all have allusions of grandure as to how much I have and they want Michael’s stuff and live the idyllic life he seemingly led with me because and I quote “ I was their gold standard for a wife” while I was married to Michael and to them I say “Fuck off.” Because they’re all losers who I have absolutely no interest in, they’re repulsive to me because they did see Michael be an asshole to me and they would just laugh at his “jokes” at my expense and there is no way in hell I’m putting up with anything like that ever again and they can go to hell.” I reassured him which he beamed so proudly at me back. 

 “Well, how about this?” He claps his hands together and rubs his palms together. “You go and stock up on groceries for your time here, and I have tomorrow off. I can come over and show you some tips and we’ll take it from there.”

“Really?” I gasp in awe, a bright excited smile blooming on my face, lighting it up like sunshine itself. 

“Yeah, really,” he says with a grin.

“Let me pay you,” I quickly offer. “I can’t let you do that for nothing.”

He shakes his head. “No way. Not often I get to show off my skills to a willing audience, much less a more deserving one.” he grins. 

“Well, I’m a licensed massage therapist!” I counter. “Therapeutic and medical massage,” my cheeks burn. “I can give you a massage in payment. I'm licensed and everything.” I offer coyly. 

A shy smile flickers over his face. “A massage? Really? Would I have to get naked?”

I lose my breath for a moment at the thought. “Not unless you’d want to be, you’d be covered with sheets and blankets and stuff. I would just have to tell my mom to pack my table and supplies in the trunk,” I squeak.

“Never had a massage,” he says thoughtfully. “Ok, sure. One massage for cooking lessons it is!” Ryker agrees before Del sees us and comes outside. 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Del asks as she tilts her head. 

“I thought I saw a wolf and freaked out like a spaz.” I admitted. 

“Well there are wolves around so it’s ok. Your mom said you’ve been painting.” Ryker quickly changes the subject. 

“Yeah, let me show you!” Del invites him in by taking his hand and dragging him into the house before she has him sit down on the sofa with her. 

“Wow! You painted this?” Ryker exclaims as he sees the works of art and is impressed by Del’s skills as Del started talking his ear off and showing him her old sketches but before we know it, he has to leave to go into to work and we have a wolf reserve to visit. 

And they do bring out the baby wolves who are cuter than a bug’s ear. So fluffy. After that I get a call from the mechanic, and the car is toast. Like it’ll cost more to repair it than it’s worth. So I tell him to scrap it and I call my parents and tell them the change of plans and to drive my camaro down because I know that won’t fail me which they agree to then I shoot a quick text to Ryker and inform him of the changes. Part of me really wants to see the look on Ryker’s face when he sees the car. I want him to like it. Hell even Michael knew it was a “panty dropper” and it was. Maybe, just maybe, if I’m really lucky, it might do that again. Hopefully. 

After we visit the reserve we head to Big Billy’s and I explain the new situation and now instead of renting the cabin for $65 a night, we now get to rent it for $100 a week, another ‘kid and bad luck discount’ which I won’t argue with and Del gets signed up for the kids camp which she is ecstatic to start that weekend, then we head to the grocery store which is amazing, packed with everything I could possibly want or need and I go nuts because if Ryker is coming over tomorrow, I’m going to show him my best dishes and hopefully he’ll like them. The only thing I notice that is strange is that there isn’t a meat section, there’s a seafood section though. An employee tells me the reason is because of the local butcher shop, it has a monopoly on the meat in town.

Del and I then go to the butcher’s shop to pick up meat. Inside it’s like a little deli, very cute and quaint. The man behind the counter looks like an angel in a painting. His hair is platinum white and he has the most amazing gray eyes.

“You’re new!” He says brightly. “What can I get you?”

“Hi, uhm, yes,” I chuckle. “We’re on a surprise vacation here. I just need to pick up a few things to get us through the week.” I say. 

“Well good, we’re happy to have you, my name is Adam,” He offers his hand for a handshake which I readily shake. 

“Zara Norris, pleasure to meet you and this is my daughter Delilah, Del for short,” I reply. Something about him makes me feel comfortable, like he’s the world’s friendliest puppy. And I look over his selection and my jaw drops and my mouth waters. He has the usual, chicken, pork and beef and a wide variety of fresh sausages. But he also has mutton, lamb and goat too, plus game meat!  Pheasant, boar, venison, rabbit, duck, goose and turkey, both wild and domestic. I want it all. That employee wasn’t joking when they said this place had the monopoly. They even have charcuterie in addition to the lunch meats and cheeses. I’m in heaven. So I get a bit of everything.  

After shopping, Del takes a bath using the bath bombs she’s brought with her in the big claw foot tub in my rooom as I’m putting the groceries away I hear something strange. I look around for a moment then hear something outside again. I go to the sliding glass door and push back the curtains which I had closed before we left, sitting in the trees beyond the porch I see a massive wolf. This one looks different than the one I saw earlier, this one is mostly black with bright blue eyes, almost husky-ish but still very wolf. 

I nearly scream but I keep myself quiet since I don’t want to freak Del out and I have to keep my own emotions in check because I don’t want to have another panic attack and start shocking again. I’m not sure what to do, I just stand there staring at it, breathing heavily, afraid that if I move my eyes away, it’ll vanish. The wolf gazes back at me with eyes so blue it makes me break out in goose flesh. It lifts its head then rises from the ground and I watch as it walks towards me and I can only hope it can’t break through the glass. 

“Can we talk?” It says.

I almost pass out but I shock, my whole body spasming and jerking as I cry out and whimper before I bend over and lean against the glass and try to catch my breath before I look up to see it’s in a submissive pose on the back porch before it tries making itself smaller by crawling on its belly towards me slowly, it’s tail tucked between its legs and it’s whining like it’s the one in pain. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s ok, I’ll never hurt you I swear on my life, please, Zara,” it murmurs. “I don’t want you to be scared especially of me, that’s why I’m doing this now.” The wolf backs away as far away from me while still being on the porch before it slowly stands up on his hind legs, his body, taking on a more human shape and I suddenly realize it’s not a wolf wolf, it’s a werewolf. And it knows my name. 

Against all reason, I take it for it’s word and manage to recover and I bravely open the door and step out onto the porch but slide the door shut behind me.

“I’m sorry I…” he huffs. “I wanted to do this right, but I didn’t want to scare Del or you, especially you. I also didn’t want to force something on you if you weren’t ready.” It explains. 

I furrow my brow as I look at them and suddenly it clicks, the voice. “Ryker?” I whisper before I slowly start to walk over to him. “What’s-” I look around in a panic. “What the hell is going on?”

“Let me explain.” He walks up onto the porch. “Hearthway Hollow, it’s much more than what it looks like,” he says with a gentle voice.

“Wait. That wolf I saw this morning?” I realize and put two and two together. I’m an idiot. 

“It was Shahan,” he says.

“Is everyone here a werewolf?” I ask curiously. 

Ryker sighs and nods his head. “Let me explain, please.” He smiles gently at me. “It’s a long story.”

We end up sitting on the stairs of the porch, talking for a long time. He tells me how Hearthway Hollow is a sanctuary for werewolves, a place where they can find a home and not have to hide. There is a tradition when a ware finds their mate, one that requires consent at all costs. The ritual includes the ware going hunting and leaving dead animals for their intended to show that they can provide for them and their family. But since I had Del, Ryker didn’t want to scare her, let alone me. He decided to come to me, as he was, and explain everything to me and I’m so grateful, so so grateful he did and the longer he talks, the more human he looks, at least in his top half. 

“The moment I saw you in the restaurant I was absolutely floored,” he whispers. “But you had a kid, and a wedding ring and I thought for sure I missed my chance. But-” he laughs softly. “This morning, I was so excited when you messaged me I literally fell out of bed and hit my head and then when you called in a panic, I panicked and I had to fight not to shift to come running over and risk scaring you even more than I already have.” He looks at me with sad, soft eyes. “You just lost your husband. I didn’t want to force something on you and Del like this. Besides, you’re not going to be here long.” Ryker sighed sadly. 

“I’m not-” I hesitate and sigh. “I don’t think I’m worth it, Ryker.”

He stares at me in shock. “What?”

I sigh tiredly. “You’re a bit younger than I am, you have all kinds of possibilities ahead of you and you could get anyone you wanted and trust me, I have been through the ringer. I have...let’s just say that I’m obviously not mint in box.” I try to explain delicately. 

“No one is,” he scoffs.

“Listen,” I hold his hands in my own. “You deserve better than this, better than me.” I tell him and my heart breaks and my voice cracks. “I’m a widow with enough baggage to fill a jumbo jet. I’m a single mom to a precocious but supremely spoiled child. She is the only grandchild on both sides of my family. Not to mention the laundry list of health problems I have so much more than those migraines and the conversion disorder- I have Crohn’s disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, I’m manic bipolar, I have depression and anxiety and PTSD. I’m basically six kinds of crazy. I’m not great with money and the only reason I’m doing as good as I am is because Michael was and his father helped me with the life insurance policies so I didn’t blow it all already. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I said that Michael’s friends thought I was the gold standard but that’s only because they don’t really know me. They haven’t seen me at 3am when I’m in the middle of a Crohn’s flare and puking my guts up and I’m dehydrated to the point my veins collapse and they can’t get an IV in and blow every vien they try until my arms are more bruises than anything and they have to resort to a picc line or a port. They haven’t seen me in a manic episode when I blow a thousand dollars on a shopping spree. They haven’t seen me in a suicidal depressive episode when I’ve tried to kill myself via overdose and have to commit me to a suicide center for a week until I snap out of it. Granted I’m on really good meds for the latter so those last two things haven’t happened in years but still. When I say I’m broken and you can do so so so much better than me, I mean it.  I’m flattered, I truly am but I can’t help but think you’re better off...” I’m cut off as Ryker kisses me. His lips are soft and warm and I cannot help but be pulled into him.

I meet his kiss, wanting it so badly. It’s been so long, so damn long and he tastes so fucking good! He wraps his arms around me, hugging me to his strong, warm body and I cling to him like he’s my lifeline. 

“I think you’re beautiful and definitely worth it. Even if you only have a dollar to your name, I don’t care, I can afford to take care of you and Del, no problem. None of those issues make you any less valuable, especially to me. I’m just sorry you suffer but if I have to spend the rest of my life in and out of hospitals or whatever, I’ll happily do it. You’re an investment, one that I’m happy to make and your love and affection is all the dividends I could ever want or ask for.” he whispers. “And when I look at you I don’t see what you see. I see my mate and to me that’s all that matters, I don’t want anyone but you and if I have to wait, I will, I’ve waited my whole life for you. I’ll wait as long as I need to because you are absolutely worth it. Plus I like Del, she’s funny and a much cooler kid than I think you realize, she’s awesome and if we gotta go slow for her we’ll go slow for her. You being a single mom? That’s not a problem for me, in any way shape or form. You aren’t used and broken like a box of tissues or a toy in a box. You’re a human being who’s lived in the world and this world can be heartless sometimes, no one makes it out unscathed.” he scoffs. “You’re this beautiful, soft, lovely and amazing woman. You’re so strong and resilient for making it this far. Give me a chance to prove it to you. Please.” Ryker pleaded as he holds my face in his hands so he keeps his gaze locked with mine and occasionally wipes the rivers of tears I’m crying away. 

I try to hold back the tears but I can’t. I bury my face against his chest and sob deeply. He holds me the entire time, rubbing his hand up and down my back. He kisses the top of my head and buries his face into the crux of my neck and shoulder and when I’m done crying, he wipes away my tears.

“I’m sorry,” I blubber. 

“It’s ok,” he whispers. He kisses my cheek then smiles lovingly at me. “Let me court you, while you’re here Zara,” he says gently. “Let me treat you like the queen you are and Del like the princess she is. We’ll figure it out.”

“Ok,” I whisper softly. “But you have been warned,” I sniffle.

“So have you.” He kisses me again. “I don’t intend to let you go so easily. So try all your tricks.” He chuckles. 

“Oh yeah, sobbing on your shoulder and telling you all my problems is a great one.” I try to laugh.

Ryker runs his fingers through my hair then cups my cheek. As I gaze into those beautiful blue eyes I realize I may not escape Hearthway Hollow and if I do, I probably won’t be gone for very long. 

[journey-j-smith]

Journey from Dark to Light

TW: Death

“Are you serious?!” She just nodded happily at the laptop. “Of course I’m serious!” She giggled and held up the pregnancy test. “Your gonna be a dad again.” Journey sung happily to her husband over the voice chat. “I’m going to get the sonogram tomorrow. I’ll email the pictures over to ya!” She smiled and looked over at him. “And don’t ya say it, Drew!” The man on the screen let out a sigh. “Darlin, all ya wanted to do is sing and if ya keep popping’ our babies-“ “Then I’ll keep acting.” She said happily. “I’ve acted around a baby bump and who said ya can sing and carry a baby, huh? I don’t have to go on tour. Can’t go on tour if I don’t have any fans.” The blonde said with her arms crossed.

It was a constant argument with them. Andrew wanted her career to take off but Journey was happy to be a mom. Happy to be home raising the kids while he was overseas protecting them and other innocent people out there. Journey had been acting and modeling for a few years now. And she loved it, but he was right. She wanted to sing, she loved to do it and she knew she could do it. It just never felt like the right time. She always said God would give her a sign.

They hung up their video chat not long after their talk started. Limited time, there were other men and women wanting to see their loved once. Journey had gotten use to this life but now. Andrew was gone most of their marriage. He come home for a few months, be with their kids, their families and then be gone for a few months with little contact. Life of a military family. It wasn’t easy and she had it from all ends. Half her brothers were in some part of the military and then she had her friends who were also in it. It was just what most people did back in there hometown. That or become farmers.

She laid down in bed with her hands over her belly. “Oh little one. Ya so loved already.” She murmured before getting up to check on the two kids sleeping away. She lingered in the door way wishing Andrew could be here and watching them grow up day by day. The women let out a sigh before heading off to bed herself. She mom was coming over to help figure out the new nursery they were gonna need. Guessing by the last time Andrew was home she figured she was only a month and half along but he probably wouldn’t be home till after the birth like he was with the other two. So she wanted everything in order way before she even need it.

The next day came and was almost done by the time she left the post office. “He’s gonna be so excited to get the sonogram pictures.” Journey clapped happily. “He can carry the baby with him now, along with the other kids, and show all his friends!” She was happy. So stupidly happy. And her mother’s joy for another grand baby just made everything greater. “Alright! Time to get that room figured out!” “Your jumping the gun, honey.” “I know I know but…I just need this ready. We all know I’m gonna change the paint like 7 times so left just start now.” Journey giggled as they drive back to the house and spent hours on every website for a crib

It was the end of the week now and she hasn’t heard from Andrew but that was normal life. She sat on the couch with Ryker and Sora passed out on either end. She hummed a little tune before she heard a knock on the front door. With a quick glance at the kids she got up and open the door. “Hello! How ca….”

Her heart stopped. “No.” She said softly as she looked at two men dressed in military blues. It felt like the world no longer had air. She backed away from the door. “No….NO!” She screamed and dropped to the floor. Sobbing. Trembling. Her mother ran over to see what ways wrong but the moment she saw the men. They had too many friends who had been through this moment. “Oh my god….” She whispered and dropped next to her daughter and held her close. Journey’s whole body shook with pain. It felt like someone punched her soul right out of her chest. He was gone. Andrew was gone. Forever. Their child was never gonna know him. His kid was gonna grow up without her farther, she was gonna go through life with out him.

It felt like a life time before the men knelt down in front of her. Handing her a folded American flag with his dog tags and wedding ring on top. Everything just slipped into darkness.

That darkness ate her up for months it wasn’t until she looked at herself. 8 months along. When a voice in her head told her it was time to pick herself up. She was about to have another baby. The last gift from Andrew. She needed to be strong for her. For all their kids. It dawned on her that she didn’t have a name. She didn’t have anything set. “Alright Jo. Enough of this. It’s time to pick yourself up. Your children need you. They don’t need…..they don’t need the women I see right now.” She said looking at herself.

It wasn’t just that simple. Giving herself that pep talk was a start but but by bit she put herself back together. She finally released two songs. She even moved to get a fresh start. She still felt like she was clouded. Lost in some haze, but that haze started to drift off. With just three little words. “Hey, I’m Spencer…”

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

for the 30 uncommon oc questions: 6, 7, 9, 12, 21, whatever bitches you want!!!!!

Went ahead and rolled for this; don’t tell anybody but I switched Brilliance and Cog just because I did already make everyone listen to Cog’s playlist. Which, by the way, this is now a promotional post for my upcoming series of character playlist posts! Get excited, because they kick a lot of ass 😤

6. If you were to pick one song – and only one song – to describe your character, what would it be and why? Brilliance: Get to cheat a little bit on this one because I do already have an Immaculate playlist curated for her, but if I had to pick just one that I heavily associate with her it would be Make it Holy by The Staves. It’s one of those character playlist songs where the Vibe is just there, and it’s such a pretty song, and she’s a paladin, and and and (Also not to pat myself on the back too much but if you’re a lesbian PLEASE brace yourself for when I post her full playlist!! It’s one I’m really really proud of, because it’s a) gay b) in love c) just cultivates such a Vibe you’re gonna love it)

7. How does your character perceive themselves? Positive? Negative? Neutral? Raini: Ahahahahahaha :)!

9. Does your character dream or are their nights filled with an empty blackness? Describe a dream they’ve had or a night they couldn’t sleep and what they did to preoccupy their time. Ryker: Ryker is the most boring heterosexual man to exist. He takes off his armor, lays down, closes his eyes for exactly eight hours of still, silent, dreamless sleep, then wakes up without an alarm to drink a protein shake and eat like idk scrambled eggs. Okay now bullying aside he’s overall a pretty light sleeper, so while I don’t think he dreams much I do think that the rare times he does he more often than not gets woken up in the middle of them. He also absolutely is one of those people who never remembers their dreams.

12. Describe 5 unusual characteristics your muse has. Ayen: My first and favorite!! Her flaw, which is “I have no concept of the limits of my own ability. If I want to do something, I see no reason why I wouldn’t be able to succeed.” That’s that -2 to wisdom hard at work, folks. Second! She loves change and variety. This is something I as a player cannot relate to in the slightest, but she gets bored as hell when things are just plunking along as normal. That’s part of why she changes her weapon out so often in between combat encounters! What fun is it to use a longsword all the time when you could...not do that? Third! Bro she’s got a potty mouth. Idk where she picked it up but just. The more I play her, the more I realize she swears up a storm. Is it because she’s a teenager and thinks it’s cool? Probably. You kiss your Shadow Mom with that mouth?? Fourth! She has no! Tolerance! For Bullshit! Like, fun lighthearted bullshit is okay and encouraged, but if you’re out here just being a Dick for the sake of it? You’re treating somebody badly just because you can and you think you can get away with it? Square up! She may not be able to end the fight, but by god is she gonna start it. If you’re throwing down with her, you’re not being a dick to anyone else. Fifth! I guess this is kinda cheating but I have one in mind that I kinda want to wait to see if it comes out in game, so! If it does, I will come back and add it here! And I guess honestly even if it doesn’t I’ll just add it...when the game ends?

21. Your character has been granted 3 wishes; what would they wish for and why? Cog: Cog is very focused on the here and now. Like theoretically a lot more good could be done with a wish that’s on a larger scale, but I think she’d really struggle to come up with or put into words something she couldn’t immediately see the effects of. I also think she’d feel incredibly guilty for wishing for something as transparently selfish as “I want my mom back but before she was evil and crazy so maybe she’ll be cool to me again” because woof that’s a lot to unpack and like. Doesn’t really give the other person any autonomy! So. That being said: 1. I wish for a second chance to save my mom. Whether this means “bring mama back to life so I can patch things up” or “time shenanigans to get us back to before her death so I can stop it from happening” (side note: Cog is Not the type of person to work over the wording of a Wish to make sure she gets a specific outcome), she just wants to make things right. She’s grown enough now that she thinks she can do it! She’s more confident, more sure of herself, a much more powerful sorcerer, and she can brace herself for what to expect. It’ll be rough, but it would be worth it. 2. I wish for things in New Alexandria to go back to how they were before Master Kind’s assassination. Ace! Is! Stressed! He’s had to run the city for Master Kind’s daughter since his death because she’s been grieving, and apparently things are falling apart there, but things are falling apart other places too and Cog doesn’t think she can convince the party to go back to New Alexandria again and-- If things just go back to how they were, Master Kind will still be alive, everything will be running smoothly, and Ace can come adventure with them and help Cog keep everybody safe. Win win! 3. I wish that Valentine won’t be able to hurt anyone ever again. Very strong, very permanent language but. She does not like and is very afraid of this man. He asked for her blood! He’s trying to provoke a war between Cormir and New Alexandria! He probably killed that guy in the Crossroads and Master Kind! Or at least had a hand in it! He keeps talking about conquering the world in order to protect it! He’s helping Emperia build a fuck-off big robot to attack people with! He’s a freak! The party keeps joking about what Cog’s first crime is going to be, and fully it’s going to be to kill this man if she thinks she can manage it. If he were on fire, she wouldn’t pee on him to put him out. She fully, completely believes the world would be a better and safer place without him. She doesn’t care if this Wish kills him, so long as it keeps him from being able to hurt people or set into motion events that cause people to be hurt.