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bibookdemon · 1 year

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Finally posting my stupid shit! Please know that there's some sus stuff uwu (it's not too bad, nothing explicit, but still kinda...iffy I suppose.) Also there is a mention of sh!IM READING THROUGH AGAIN AND REALIZING WHAT I WROTE PLEASE CHECK TAGS FOR TRIGGERS

Ok so like smth smth this lab is testing people to see if they can like, contact people of the past. (OK HEAR ME OUT MAYBE ITS KAIBA TRYING TO FIND HIS LONG-DEAD LOVE, ATEM, AND IT WOULD BE GREAT FLARESHIPPING AND HERES WHY) There are multiple people who get tested because they're getting paid to do so, and they have this 'coach' kinda, it's basically just ai trying to get into their minds and use different methods to get them in touch with the past. I imagined smth along the lines of 'Let the lines of reality and fantasy blur together' because that's like. A thing™️. And the first part of it is really just putting them in a deep sleep and monitoring the brain waves + body functions. They only do it for a couple hours every day so as not to exhaust the mind, and there are little things that allow the scientists to see that they potentially have the ability to contact the past. Time + that ability decides how long they are in the program for. Enter Yugi. Kame Game is going through a rough time, so he wants to help out and make a little money on the side to keep the shop open. It's Gramps' dream, and he loves it and his Gramps, he can't just let it die. It helps that he knew Kaiba in passing at school, though he never talked to him beyond a quite hello. Kaiba was the only person who never bullied him, tbh. (The only person outside of his friend group, because Anzu also never bullied him) So he goes, and his potential is off the charts. Now, every person has to sign a contract before they enter the program. On the contract it states that they are required to participate for as long as KC needs up to 3 years. They get compensated by day at a bit above minimum wage, so they do make a pretty hefty amount, and would be making a lot for 3 years. Because of Yugi's potential, he is given a room at KC and isolated from the outside world - for the most part. He can call/text/etc, but he cannot see friends or family in-person unless they get approved to visit.

They only get approved for like, once a week, so Yugi is pretty lonely. He hasn't even been allowed to meet Kaiba yet, and that's because he'll only get to meet Kaiba when he starts to venture into Ancient Egypt (within his mind) and Kaiba will need to be there with his tech. He'll have Yugi talk to Atem and use his tech to translate the thoughts into words + videos. So, because Yugi is isolated, and thanks to the mind exercises, he actually starts to dive deeper into that part of his mind. The coach + the deep sleep have successfully blurred the lines between real and fantasy, so now all he really needs to do is explore and break them. Enter the millennium puzzle, which, instead of a huge-ass gold necklace, is actually a small, 3d charm. It's about the size of a pin. He keeps it with him because Gramps gave it to him, and yes, he actually did have to solve it, but it was more like a mind-bender than an actual puzzle because of how small it is. When he solved it, he felt something deep within him, something that buried itself within but did not emerge. IT WAS insert risque joke here because I'm immature It was a connection with Atem, but at the time his mind wasn't strong enough to hold that connection in a more physical way, which would be possession, and eventually Atem forming his own body using some of Yugi's life force. Yugi felt the connection grow as he did the coaching, and that's why his stats were off the charts. He starts to get flashes of life through someone else's eyes: towering pyramids, endless deserts, foreign clothes. From there, it only deepens, grows more personal. He starts to see people he doesn't know, and then he starts to know them as friends/family. Then he starts feeling things: happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, joy, excitement. He forgets about it as soon as he snaps out of the flashes, however, so he never reports them. Because they also aren't active at the time he does his tests, the readings don't spike.

They only grow steadily with each passing day, each flash of someone else's life. Finally, they reach a point that Yugi is ready to meet this person, ready for the next step. He meets Kaiba, and Kaiba is just. He sees that Yugi looks like his lover, and he is shocked. But he also finds himself drawn toward Yugi, and not because of the way he looks, just the way he smiles nervously and waves, and the way flitting memories jump in and out of his head from when they attended school together. He ignores the feelings, however. He has a lover. The point of Yugi is to establish communication with his lover. And so Yugi is shown the next step. It's very sci-fi-y. It's basically this cylindrical tube that will fill with gel around him. He'll be put into a sleep wherein all of his body functions will stop. He will literally be dead. Like, legally dead. For a few hours. Every day. There will be nodes attached to him that will monitor brain waves, and he gets a fucking \~\~sexy\~\~ cool suit. It's either skintight ( ;3 ) with some awesome design or more like thin armor. Obviously he's hesitant, but he did sign a contract and he does need the money - turns out, Kaiba is now paying him double the amount promised - so he goes through with it. He does have one condition, however: the charm stays with him. Kaiba says it's fine after scanning it - it won't interfere with his tech. Now, day of, Yugi has a major panic attack and they actually have to give him some meds so that his anxiety doesn't mess with the process. Other than that, everything goes smoothly, and Yugi is 'dead' before he gets put in the tube and it gets filled. They initiate the process by doing the coaching again, this time using things like images and videos, all from Kaiba's memory. And so Yugi is transported to Ancient Egypt. He stands in a large chamber, staring at a sleeping figure in bed. Sleeping figure is, obviously, Atem, and Yugi immediately knows his name + remembers the flitting life and knows it was his.

So, he explains to Atem who he is, and Atem ends up remembering stuff too cause he felt the connection as well AND saw Yugi's life. They hit it off, and kinda bring up details of their lives, and Atem asks, 'Why are you here?' Yugi answers he is there via KaibaCorp, and Atem is. Atem is shooketh. 'Kaibacorp? As in Seto Kaiba?!' He is frantic at that point, and when Yugi says yes, his eyes light up with joy. His lover is alive and well. He demands to hear more about Kaiba, and Yugi tells him everything he knows. Meanwhile, back at KC, unbeknownst to Yugi, Kaiba is crying. He can hear/see every part of the conversation, and his heart holds so much love for Atem, all he can see is Atem, all he wants is Atem. The union is over too soon, however, and Yugi must leave. He comes back to being pulled into a hug by a crying Kaiba. 'Thank you. You found him. You found him.'

Yugi is just like 'wut' and thatttt is when the drama starts. (good drama) Kaiba explains that he once came into a power, a great power. The power led him to Ancient Egypt, where he stayed for close to a year under the Pharaoh's watchful eye. Atem is actually very smart/clued in, and when Kaiba told him he was from the future, he knew the man was telling the truth. So he decided he wanted Kaiba at his side, wanted to learn about the future. He figured he would die young due to everything that happened and etc etc, so he wanted to know as much as possible, even at the risk of his safety. (That's part of the reason Kaiba was crying so much. Atem told him often during their time together that his time was coming and also mentioned that he was reckless thanks to guilt about what his father did. No sense of self-preservation. So Kaiba did worry that Atem would die in the time he'd been gone.) Anyway, they fell in love over time, Kaiba falling for Atem's passion and never-ending love for his people, Atem falling for Kaiba's straightforward mind. They both had complicated lives and pride over what they'd accomplished. It also helped that they played similar games ^^ Unfortunately, Kaiba felt himself fading one day, and he told Atem, and the next day he was gone. Both of them were heartbroken, especially when Kaiba found that he couldn't go back to Egypt. And then, of course, there was the tablet. The tablet arrived at Domino's museum, and Kaiba for some reason went to look at it and that's where he found himself and Atem, both etched into the stone. He was able to keep his expression calm when he left, but once in the privacy of his office, he sobbed and broke a lot of stuff. Including the coffee pot. Actually, the janitor was very concerned and thought someone had managed to break in then ransacked the place. Now, the one thing with Kaiba is that I don't see him harming himself, but he unconsciously digs his nails into his skin.

And it had happened before, but it happened more after he had to leave Atem. He also chews his nails. Big time. Like, yeah, his nails looks awesome in the show/movie, but I can tell you he is a nail biter. I can sense it. He just wears fake nails lol. (Damn bro how you make them look so good, teach me!) He started the program a year later after hearing about people who supposedly could see the past. Yugi came into the picture about half a year into the program.

Anyway, from there (Yugi's first meeting with Atem) he basically just had Yugi go back each day and meet with Atem. Yugi asked if he had any messages to relay, but Kaiba wasn't ready yet to say anything. He wanted to get a feel for Atem. He was hesitant because yeah, his heart had already been broken once, what if it broke twice? After all, he couldn't exactly get back there and physically be with Atem. It would kill him inside to have to have a relationship via Yugi. Now, Yugi also met Atem whenever he slept. And he was physically there, but also not. He could feel, he could taste, etc etc. He made it his mission to find out as much as possible about Atem for Kaiba, and to become friends. He found himself attracted to Atem, but did not act on anything, instead shoving it down because ya know. Kaiba. Atem also started to fall for Yugi, but because of what happened with Kaiba, he refused to act on those feelings. He couldn't stomach heartbreak again + he had a gut feeling he was going to die soon anyway. He didn't want to hurt someone.

Yugi, having gone to such lengths to try to help Kaiba with his broken heart, actually won over Kaiba. Like, the attraction Kaiba felt before? He felt it taking over and filling his heart with such a deep love. Yugi was sweet and gentle and kind, and he figured that he and Atem weren't possible, so he kinda let the love grow. Yugi didn't feel anything for Kaiba, not yet, but he definitely knew Kaiba was handsome AND he had this strong urge to always be there for Kaiba.

Over time, things stayed about the same, that affection between the three kinda growing but no one ever saying anything. And then, one day, everything snapped. TK blamed Atem for everything his father had done, and Atem knew something was going to happen to him, so he kinda blocked Yugi from joining him in Egypt. Both Yugi and Kaiba knew something was wrong, but it was Kaiba who went into a full-blown panic, and it was Kaiba who knew what was coming. He told Yugi that Atem was going to die. And he hadn't even asked Yugi to relay a message.

Indeed, Atem did die. He actually welcomed the death. He knew someone had been lurking in the shadows, and knew what their intent was. Obviously he didn't expect it to be someone who had survived the horrors of what his father did, but he actually felt glad that it would be one of them killing him. And so Atem fell to the blade of TK. He actually smiled and walked up to TK, kneelung before him and offering his throat. 'It's ok. Though I'm sure you don't need to hear that to kill me. Just...do not feel guilt. Someone must pay off the debt weighing on my bloodline, and that must be me.' So yeah, Atem died, TK was actually pretty shaken afterward - he'd never killed someone who was so...innocent. Yes, he'd killed guards and he'd killed townsfolk, but never anyone who hadn't done atrocious things. Atem was a peaceful pharaoh, and kind, and pure.

And thisssss is where things get interesting, ok. Very interesting. Yugi knew the moment Atem died because he felt a sharp pain across his throat, then a sudden crushing presence in his mind, as well as his connection swelling to envelop all of him. It was agony for him, but his body was ready to let the pharaoh inhabit it, or he pretty much would've died. He did, however, have to go to the hospital. Kaiba was with him every step of the way, even as he cried. Yugi couldn't speak, so he figured that was the death of Atem, that was the end of everything. He also feared for Yugi's life, then.

He begged Yugi not to die, even resorting to praying to every god he could think of. (I mean. I think Kaiba is basically atheist.) He was by Yugi's side every step of the way, he was crying every step of the way, he hated every second of hearing Yugi cry out and watching him shiver with each painful flinch that racked his body. And then Yugi stabilized. He was ok. The doctors said he was in a coma, though. Next day, despite what they'd said, he woke. Except it wasn't Yugi who woke up, it was Atem. And Kaiba knew. Kaiba knew by the ancient words that graced Yugi's lips, the way his voice suddenly became accentuated, the way those eyes seemed to turn a caring dark red, the way his hand came up to caress his cheek and he deepened Yugi's voice as he said, 'My love.' And Kaiba cried again, this time a happy cry as he let himself be pet. And then Atem told him he must go, and reassured him he was just retreating into Yugi's mind so that Yugi could be present. Yugi had watched the entire thing, and he had a blush as he pulled his hand gently back, as well as a broken heart. Though he'd shoved down his love for this exact reason, he still felt like shit when he was basically rejected.

Following that, Yugi and Atem worked together so that they had equal times controlling the body, and so that it was convenient for Yugi. Yugi remained isolated, this time with no visitors, until he could figure out how to explain the whole 'Hey I have a pharaoh sharing my body' thing. He also made sure that Atem blocked him out when he wanted private time with Kaiba, whether it was just talking or...them having a different sort of reunion. ;3

So that meant he was blocked out when Kaiba and Atem decided to have a talk about him. It was obvious they were both attracted to him, and it was obvious they both wanted him. So they talked about it, about the possibility of having another lover. Atem was also very aware of how Yugi felt about them both, and how he pushed down his feelings.

It was on a day that Yugi was in control and Atem had managed to make himself a sort of ghost that both of them could see that they told him. They said they both loved him, and they both would like very much for him to be their lover. Yugi was quick to say 'Oh no no, that's fine, I know you two are involved, and I'm really happy for you!' They both grabbed Yugi's hands and said 'We want you to be involved too. We want it to be all three of us. We love you, Yugi.' And that was the day Yugi snagged himself two lovers. It was a very good day. It was also the day he discovered exactly how fun it was to be in bed with two people at the same time. ;3 (He couldn't walk the next day hehehehehhehehe)

And then it was finally time for Atem to get his own body. Yugi had enough life force in him to keep himself alive and form Atem's body, thanks to the love both Kaiba and Atem gave him. So, Atem got his own body, but this time it wasn't painful and no one ended up in hospital. I mean, except when Yugi convinced Kaiba to sit on his face, he mayyyyy have broken his neck.

-Most things are canon, such as Yugi's history with Anzu, Jou, and Honda, but he only knew Kaiba in passing, and, as I mentioned, Kaiba would only wave or say hi to him -Kaiba is more lovey dovey. He smiles, he cares, he's pretty sweet beneath it all. -Kaiba's power was the cube from DSOD, he found it locked away in one of Gozaburo's rooms. (Basically the same shit happened with Gozaburo) -Mokuba is the same as usual, but most people don't know Kaiba has a brother, and he's also pretty shy despite being a complete gremlin -They're all in their 20s, and Yugi attends an online college (during the time of him doing the program, he was taking a break from college to help his Gramps with Kame Game) -Yugi has much the same personality, he's very quiet and very caring/loving, will literally do anything in his power to help people out, but he definitely has a side of him that likes to push him out of his comfort zone. (For example, he once did skydiving with Jou. He also vowed to never do it again LMFAO) Also, for the record, Yugi is a switch that tends toward a more dominant position. (Hear me out. Atem is such a fucking bottom. Ok. Like, it's funny, I started out like oh, psh, yeah, he's totallyyyyy a top. But like. 1) He's sensitive. Very sensitive. He would grow used to things, sure, but I just hc him as always being so sensitive hehe. I mean he could be a top, but I feel like he would need a power bottom if that's the case. 2) Atem would quite literally die for his partner(s) he would also wanna worship them, and ya know, be at the mercy of them. I do think he would also want to be someone who claims another, but he also has insecurities I feel like and wants someone to claim him in order to tell him he has a place. It's not just smut. It's emotional smut. 🥺 3) Tbh I just love to read about Atem getting railed -They all have the same outfits, but Yugi picked out matching pajamas for the three of them. -Kaiba I see as a top, but I can also see him as a hesitant switch. He likes to be in control, but he actually goes to Yugi and Atem one day saying he wants to bottom. He's so shyyyy about it, it's really cute. Of course his lovers can't refuse an expression like that. Also, out of all them, Kaiba is the fucking loudest. He will scream his throat raw. Also Yugi is so down bad for those long legs, it is a thing. Yugi x Long Legs, I ship it. wheeze

#flareshipping #ygo #yugioh #duel monsters #yugi mutou #yugioh atem #atem #kaiba seto #seto kaiba #puzzleshipping #prideshipping #rivalshipping #tw death #tw hospital #tw sh implied #tw panic attack #tw medicine #tw medical

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chibinekochan · 5 years

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The aftermath of you kissing someone else - happy end- Leviathan

They got too long so made drabbels/short fics instead.

It was requested to be a misunderstanding/happy ending so here we go.

Link here if you haven't read it yet.

Summary - In the last hc you kissed someone, in most cases a random demon, and they saw it.

(gen)reader x Leviathan

Trigger warning - non consensual kiss

words- 1200~ish

I put a read more to prevent long scolling.

You notice that somehow Levi has been acting strange lately.

Seeing him fanboy about anime characters is nothing new and him owning a body pillow is not unusual for Leviathan. But lately he has been acting differently. The pillow is always between you two. Like a barrier.

He also seems different in chats with you. His texts come rarely now, and if they do, you miss this usual Leviness. You can't really explain it, but he seems distant.

Honestly you miss your best friend. You can't take it anymore. With your mind made up you head to Leviathan's room. You knock on his door. "Levi are you there?"

"Password?" Leviathan doesn't really feel like talking to you right now. Ever since seeing you kiss that demon Levi can't stop thinking about it.

It hurts and it's annoying.

"Leviathan, please open the door." You don't know what is wrong but it can't go on like this.

Levi is on the other side of the door, has his hand on the door knop. He wants to let you in, but then he has to see you again, and that means that he will have to see that picture in his head again. Levi doesn't want that. "I'm busy, just go away." He sounds irritated.

You have heard this before, Levi is pushing you away. "Is this how the demon lord would treat Henry? Levi, we are friends, and we have to talk." You don't want to use cheap tactics like this, but you know that something is in between you and Leviathan, and you want to fix it.

Levi knows that you are right the demon lord wouldn't do this, and he doesn't want to do this either. He opens the door slowly, letting you inside.

You look worried, and he feels a bit guilty for pushing you away like this. It's not your fault that you don't like him back. He knows that, but it still hurts.

"Come in and sit down." Levi steps aside.

You walk to your usual spot and sit down.

Levi slowly walks over to you. He sits down quite a distance away from you, on his gaming chair.

You take a small breath. "I will come straight to the point. What happened to you Levi? We were so close but now you push me away. You barely even let me in the room." Your tone is sad. You just want things to be normal between you two.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Nothing happened, I'm completely normal. Maybe some Normie like you can't understand that." Levi can barely look at you, you look so sad. It makes him feel sad too. He honestly wants thinks to be like before but not after you kissed someone else, and now are properly dating or whatever. It hurts just to think about it.

"I really miss hanging around with you and geeking out about the things we both love. You are my best friend and there is so much I want to talk about with you." You look at Levi, and the fact that he doesn't look you in the face honestly stings. You wonder if you did anything that offended him.

Leviathan hates the distance between you too. He looks at you from the corner of his eyes, you look so sad. You are an honest person towards him. You are important to Levi. He doesn't want to lose you.

"It's not like I want this either. I mean you are my best friend too and I want to talk about the latest anime seasons and all. It's just, you know... it's hard for me to accept that you date someone else." Leviathan just spills his guts. He knows it's pointless to hide it any longer.

"Date? You mean that I dated a different person in - love hunt for the one person that I didn't like at first but now I'm falling for them regardless of them dating my brother-in-law-?" You are confused but that seems to be the only thing that would make sense.

"What? No, I realized that you were right choosing the blue haired son of the oldest stepsister of the Mc's mother. He was clearly the best guy. I mean the person you date irl." Levi had forgotten about that argument until now. It seems pretty silly to him looking back on it.

"I don't date anyone right now, not even virtually." You really have no fun in these games without Levi.

"So you aren't dating? But I have seen you kissing someone." Levi doesn't really understand what you mean to say.

"You are wrong, what you saw was someone kissing me. Without consent. I didn't want it at all. Actually this is one of the things I've been trying to talk about with you." You had no idea that Levi saw that. It made you feel so bad and now you feel even worse.

Levi is surprised and angry at that demon but also at himself. How didn't he realize it? All he did was hurting you. This isn't what you deserve at all.

"I had no idea. That must have been so awful. I'm so sorry, I have been a huge idiot." Leviathan could just punch himself right now. He is angry, a bit relieved that you don't date someone else, but mostly mad at that demon. He can't believe that someone would do something like this to you.

"Yeah it was rough, but I reported them to Lucifer and it's settled now. I had no idea that you saw it." You can't even imagine what Levi must have thought, but it honestly hurt that you couldn't talk to Levi. You feel like crying.

"I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry I can't say it enough. I should have known better than to jump to conclusions. I hope you can forgive me." Levi just realized that he should've talked to you and not just hide everything inside. He pushed you away, hurt you, risked your friendship and all that for nothing.

"You didn't know what was going on. Next time you come to me instead of avoiding me." You are glad that at least now you have your friend back.

Levi feels really awful.

"You are right. Is there anything I can do for you?" Levi has never been in this situation before, he feels kind of lost.

"How about we just watch anime and then play some games. I just want to spend some time with you again." You just want to forget that stupid demon and go back to being normal with Leviathan.

"Sounds perfect to me, also next time someone is being evil to you just tell me and I will show them." Levi is still kind of mad, but he feels better now.

You giggle slightly. "I want to see that."

"Ah, now you tease me! I'm serious!" Levi pouts, but you know he isn't really mad.

This is the guy you have been missing.

Levi puts�� your favorite anime on and then sits down right next to you.

"I know Levi, you are the best." You smile and ruffle his hair, since now Leviathan got close enough to do that. Leviathan doesn't complain, he is just glad to have you back.

This feels much better. You are both sitting next to each other, without any pillows between you.

Leviathan just hopes that if you ever kiss any 3d person it's him.

Check my Obey me! Masterlist for more content.

#obey me #swd obey me #shall we date obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me!#obey me leviathan #obey me drabble #obey me reader insert

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dedicatedfollower467 · 4 years

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DIRK’S PESTERQUEST ROUTE REACTIONS AS THEY HAPPEN

spoilers etc. yada yada yada i’ve been waiting for this for fucking EVER.

this is fucking massive, for the record.

“The one and only” lmao suuuuuuure whatever you say dirk.

i fucking adore his metal scuba suit though holy SHIT

“[talking in meatspace] isn’t exactly my forte” akdfsljkadsfhksadf you bet your ASS it isn’t mr. strider. (at this point i’m assuming this is actually hal, wouldn’t be the first time that we met “dirk” and it turned out to be hal)

the power of his own “voice” is almost too much for him MY CHILD.

OH HELLO HAL. GOOD TO SEE YOU USING YOUR USUAL RED. LOVE THE THEME MUSIC CHANGE TOO. IT’S GOOD MUSIC.

i fucking KNEW it i fucking knew that was hal lmao

so in that case HI DIRK HELLO MY ASSHOLE BABY CHILD.

“The use of the speaker system is new, but it makes sense he’d up his game for interfering with relationships I’m busy forging in 3D. I guess I should go ahead and be proud of him for it.” god i really wish dirk and hal could get along but they both hate themselves and therefore each other way too much for that...

“Every line of muscle in his body is held in excruciating placidity. You’ve never seen a jaw so purposefully unclenched” dIRK!!!!

“you’ll prove it to him with your deeds. it seems like that might be his love language” BOY FUCKING HOWDY IS IT. also how did i never put that together before ofc dirk’s love language is acts of service practically everything he does is an attempt to serve his friends in some capacity and he’s SO BAD at telling them with words.

(his secondary love language is gifts, evidence: brobot and detective pony)

god i’m so excited and so nervous lmao

i love this sprite with the verrrrrry slight smile he looks so sweet.

hell yes the fucking ROCKET BOARD.

“this is a much more comfortable thing for him than the conversation was” I’LL FUCKING BET IT IS.

“with Dirk it’s almost like he’d be less penetrable without [his shades]” oh well now THAT’S an interesting thought/observation.

holy shit that’s a cute fucking smile holy shit holy shit look at that grin AHHHH I’M DYING MY BOY IS SMILING.

“Not sure how well my deep, personal beef with the imagery of the sea will land for you, but there it is.” WELL THAT CERTAINLY MAKES THAT ONE LINE FROM HOMESTUCK 2 A LOT MORE EMOTIONAL, WHICH IT ALREADY DEFINITELY FUCKING WAS.

“Ace Attorney monologue” OMFG HAS DIRK PLAYED AA??? WHO’S HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER? WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE GAME?? i mean he’s definitely got the hair to be a fucking ace attorney character especially in pesterquest lmao

OH MY FUCKING GOD IS HE HOLDING BACK A LAUGH. IS THAT WHAT THAT MOUTH IS. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE THIS ALKJADSFLADHADS

“He’s leaning forward, laughing, dimples carved into his freckled cheeks. There’s a small twist in your heart about it, and you can’t place why.” A *SMALL* TWIST? A SMALL TWIST? TRY A TWIST THAT’S WRENCHING MY HEART WIDE FUCKING OPEN AND SPILLING ITS CONTENTS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.

“At least make me try and earn it first.” THAT’S THE MOST DIRK THING I’VE EVER HEARD AND ALSO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

“I can just fold [my hand] and hope your shit works out instead.” Ah yes, dirk’s incessant and almost pathological need to be in control at work again.

“I want to be the only one in charge of endangering my own life. You got me.” oh dirk. oh honey.

“How much has this boy wanted to be known?” oh okay yeah that’s fine i didn’t need my heart anyway pesterquest, you can have it.

oh. hi ultimate dirk. i fucking knew this was gonna fucking happen.

“i can’t believe i was ever this pathetic” LEAVE HIM ALONE. (but also i know you can’t because you fucking hate yourself and it’s fucking tragic)

OH. OH OKAY WE’RE NOT JUST GONNA BE FUCKING NARRATIVE WE’RE GONNA BRING THE ACTUAL FUCKING DUDE HERE.

AND WE’RE GONNA PLAY AN OMINOUS-ASS VERSION OF "BEATDOWN” HOLY SHIT. CHRIST CAN WE GET ANY MORE HEAVY HANDED HERE????

also holy shitting christ ultimate dirk is swole. ‘twink ass bitch’ my ass, he’s at least a twunk.

“You fuck off and let people live their arcs.” NO FUCKING WAY, NOT IF HIS IS GOING TO END UP AS YOU, DICKHEAD.

“Oh fuck.

You remember it.

You remember Homestuck.”

well, probably not all of it, it’s pretty goddamn long, and very hard to remember all the details. i should know, i’m currently re-reading it.

oh no.

oh no, this looks like regular dirk but ominous “beatdown” is playing which makes me very fucking nervous.

“You cared about him before you knew every tiny fucked up detail about his life, and now, with a reminder of where his story leads leaning smugly against the railing, you find you still do.” YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I DO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

“He’s intense and pushy and profoundly complicated, and right now he is helping you to your feet, his hand steady and firm on your back as you find your balance.” I’M CRYING.

“This isn’t as simple as an evil Dirk and a good one. If you’ve learned anything from your travels it’s that everyone has the capacity for hurt inside them, and everyone the capacity for love.” I’M STILL CRYING.

“The combo of all splinters of Dirk, fermenting in his flesh container and not holding onto his shit nearly as well as he likes to pretend” an apt and succinct description of ultimate dirk.

“No, I can see it. If anyone was going to pull off an “I’m you, but stronger,” it would be all of me, combined.” DIRK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

“Your allegiance is not to the story, but to the people within it.” A-FUCKING-MEN MSPAR!!!

“The ends always justifies the means, Dirk.” I feel like that’s the breaking point there. IDK what’s going to happen next but that line sure was a line about philosophy, aka one of Dirk’s biggest special interests.

“[Ultimate Dirk] doesn’t have to work overtime to create more pain just so he can feel like he’s in control of how much punishment he gets and how badly he deserves it!”

oh.

oh wow.

oh WOW that’s hitting it on the fucking nose, MSPAR.

“He’s going to drown in [longing and loathing and Ultimate Dirk] if you don’t do something” STOP COMING BACK TO THAT GODDAMN LINE PESTERQUEST YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE.

“You know how he loves -- though it’s fierce (to a definite fault), he does not do it easily.” STOP MURDERING MY HEART WITH PERFECT SNAPSHOTS OF DIRK AS A PERSON EVERY TWO SECONDS MSPAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

AHHHHHHHH IT’S DAVE!!! IT’S FUCKING. CANDY DAVE. I JUST. I CANNOT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

“you look like someone ironed the mayor so that’s a million more points in your favor” DAAAAAAVE!!!!

“Dave pulls him into a short, back-thumping bro hug which Dirk weathers like a wet cat not trusting a towel to dry him off.” AAAAAHHHHHHHH I’M FUCKING DYING I’M DYING I’M DYING HELP I’M DYING GOD HELP HOLY SHIT, FIRST OF ALL, THE SPRITE/ILLUSTRATION, SECOND OF ALL, THAT DESCRIPTION OF DIRK, THIRD OF ALL I’M FUCKING DYING

CANDY DAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

you deserve so much better than the raw hand the candy epilogue dealt you jfc.

“Bringing fucking guns to a knife fight here.” I mean, did you really expect MSPAR to play fair when the health and happiness of all their best friends is at stake, UD?

SAD ENDING IS SAD.

“Be good to that me, will you? Treat him right?”

dirk, this is yourself. you’ve never treated yourself right. ever. tbqh you probably never will. ultimate dirk is absolutely no different.

(but also this makes me wonder if we’re gonna see “Trust yourself” timeline Pesterquest Dirk showing up in Homestuck 2? That would be fucking wild I’d love to see that.)

“are we anti-ocean here”

“Oh yeah, extremely.”

YES, WE FUCKING ARE, AND AGAIN WITH THE REFERENCES TO HOMESTUCK 2 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

oh, of fucking course ultimate dirk’s a sore loser, he’s ultimate dirk, fucking duh.

“You did it. You got him a good end.” i fucking love that this game is literally just. explicitly saying exactly what i was freaking over and desperately wanted.

like i’m just gonna take a moment here to admit that i was really nervous that dirk would end up like candy timeline dirk and just off himself. i was really afraid that a good end just straight up wasn’t possible.

i love that it’s not. and i equally love that the game acknowledges that a FUCKTON of us really wanted to give him that.

“Maybe [Doc Scratch] and Ultimate Dirk were working together the whole time.” maybe doc scratch has been ultimate dirk this whole time. or vice versa.

“There are just so many details to remember” lmao i made that point like a dozen paragraphs up.

i.... do not recognize the text style of whoever just say “hey. we can talk about this.”

IT’S HUSSIE. HOLY SHIT. IT’S DEFINITELY 100% HUSSIE.

i....... don’t know who that is? the woman?

is this like. the person who’s been running pesterquest?

it totally is.

i don’t know who that is i don’t know enough about the homestuck machine to know who that actually is.

lmao ultimate dirk and the irl director are fighting over how incredibly self-indulgent this metanarrative is, which is fucking amazing. i kind of love this? i really kind of adore this.

i can’t help but notice that the director has blank white eyes.

i.e. the Author is already dead, yo.

“They’re just an artifact of the medium” HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS FANTASTIC. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN HERE.

“I’d say thanks but I feel like you all got more out of it than me” I’M DYING I LOVE THIS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

“Stop flirting with my audience you anime ass motherfucker” LMAOOOOOOOO

“I wouldn’t look like this if you didn’t want me to” I KNOW I’M JUST QUOTING BASICALLY THIS WHOLE THING BUT LISTEN I LOVE IT, I FUCKING LOVE IT, IT’S FUCKING PERFECT, GOD. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO GOOD.

“I actually let the artists have a lot of creative license” somebody’s horny for ultimate dirk.

eridan DESERVES that gender arc and i’m excited for him.

“Happy people don’t get stories told about them.” I’m sorry, I’ve read enough Domestic Fluff fanfic to tell you that’s just blatantly not true, Ultimate Dirk.

wait.

wait wait wait wait.

pesterquest is a RETCON???????????

THAT was not something i was expecting

you click “don’t” betray your friends and pesterquest just fucking closes like this is fucking undertale jesus fucking christ.

but....

i don’t wanna betray my friends.

but i wanna see what happens....

god dammit this is exactly like the murder run of undertale, i don’t wanna do it but i have to know.

“Andrew Hussie would never do this to me” yeah well, Andrew Hussie barely ever interacted with you soooooo...

and if i throw the beta in the sewer again pesterquest quits. again.

i mean, i knew it would but... *sigh*

that’s a fucking depressing ass ending.

... except that “Savior of the Waking World” still hasn’t been unlocked...

Huh.

I’m... gonna see what happens if I start John’s route over again.

oh duh, of course it’s a retcon, MSPAR touched the Homestuck juju. i forgot about that.

(a big part of me wants to look up the process of getting the true ending. but a bigger part of me wants to figure it out for myself.)

hmmm. okay so replaying john’s ending once didn’t do it.

i guess i coooooould try replaying the whole thing? that sounds. like a lot of effort.

or i could try not betraying my friends approximately five million times let’s see what happens if i do that.

i’m going to do that experimenting in another post cuz this is already huge. see ya in part two.

#pesterquest #pesterquest spoilers #def plays pesterquest #homestuck

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yearslateforyugiohshippings · 6 years

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Dark Magician Collection!

I wanted to give a detailed view and update of my DM card collection since I have ‘finished’ it - at least as far as I can. 2 cards are still missing, but I can’t find them online atm. Goal was to have all English and German prints - there are some other nice ones in my collection, too! You will see :D

Long post ahead!

high res: https://sta.sh/0zsj9r0b0bq

Starting of with the very old starter deck cards and the secret rares of this artwork (which is my favourite - who would have guessed!) I really love the secret rares of this artwork and secret rare as a rarity in general <3 But as you can see, the DDS card has a crease - but I’m okay with that since it dropped it worth to an amount I could buy :’D Maybe I will get a flawless one in the future. The card itself funnily is without scratches. I would really like to know how the bend happend.

high res: https://sta.sh/0hnagpqi7al

Next up: DUSA ultra rares - which I don’t like very much since for some reason the duelist saga UR is not very appealing to me. The foil is weird. The CT13 tin promos are great tho ;D The others are commons, so nothing special to say about them.

high res: https://sta.sh/07tofx0eqh4

Trivia time! I will use the CT13 cards as an example since they’re here :U American und European cards often slightly differ in colour and brightness in general. American versions are often lighter and that’s why there are many players who prefer them over the European prints (at least here in Europe, can’t say anything about other places). The right one is an American print and the purple is a lot warmer and the ornaments on the armor are more pink (but I couldn’t capture that on a single pic alone, so just imagine it ;D)

high res: https://sta.sh/011f8bwlgnic

Here we have the lasts cards of artwork 1 - The oldest DM I have in the left corner with signatures of my old school buddies which I let them give me before moving away all the years ago. This card is heavily damaged :’D on the spot right to it is a card I was very unsure about putting it into the collection since it actually is an OCG card even if it’s English. It’s a promo card from the 2015 Japanese championship. BUT I got it relatively cheap on ebay a few weeks ago, so well, I won’t complain. Also here: The ghost rare DM and another 2015 promo - but in Korean - both 201 promo cards have the same rarity (Millennium Rare) so I assume tehy’re the same card...? Moving to the right we have the original booster pack 1 - LOB - Dark Magician and below the cards from the second Yugi themed starter deck. One of the LOB magicians (German) belonged to a friend (one of them who signed the card on the left) and it was a very hard fight for getting him to trade it as a kid. But I never gave it away afterwards. I met this friend again, 12 years later, and he actually remembered and was very happy about (and still slightly mad since he collects all old cards and this one was hard to get for him again) me keeping it <3

high res: https://sta.sh/01wupx9i1ej2

Just a try to get the millennium rare effect on camera, but it’s actually hard to do - there are hieroglyphs all over the card!

high res: https://sta.sh/01zin64ns445

Detail shot of the ghost rare card - this rarity is so cool. It has a little 3D effect and the colours only come through in the perfect light (artificial light works much better than sunlight for some reason) - but it can’r be captured in only one photo. So enjoy the nice eye he has here - they really pop out in the ghost rare!

high res: https://sta.sh/01rzdwdjum22

Moving on to the page of shame since this is the page with the last missing 2 cards - which are the red rare and blue rare English DL11 Dark Magician. I actually bought the blue rare - but it went missing in the shipping process. It’s a shame. This makes me sad and angry. But besides that, I like the coloured rares. I don’t know, but it just adds a nice twist to the normally a little boring rares.

high res: https://sta.sh/03enz6dy6aw

I don’t have much to say about this page... the Retro Pack DM are nice URs and we have 2 SCRs again... Oh! I know what to tell you about them: this artworks BPT print is quite cheap - the other one, 1st artwork, is most times actually expensive. And the FL1 SCR has the most disappointing foil I’ve ever seen. I tried to capture it on the next pic:

high res: https://sta.sh/01qliw7ut9k3

You can guess the SCR effect, but it’s so bad/weak I had this card for weeks until I read online that it’s a SCR card - I didn’t even realise it! I thought it’s a normal rare on the first glance :’D You can guess how weak it is in comparison to the BPT card on the right which is also not the brightest SCR, but this one is glittering like crazy next to FL1

high res: https://sta.sh/03ksjuu3g8v

The last card (DLG1) of artwork two on the left with two random Japanese cards I happend to have - look how worn out they are! I had them for a very long time, getting them as a teenanger, and I don’t know where they came from. There were a lot of Japanese cards flowing around in my childhood. On the right we got Arkanas best buddy - he only got this one print in German and English and they’re not even that old. It’s a shame they took so long to get printed in the TCG. The Japanese one again is one of the cards I had for a long time - it came from a pack in which DMG, Dark Magic Curtain, Thousand Knives and Magical Box also were included (correct me if I’m wrong, I may not remember it correctly) The card on the bottom right... I don’t know what it is, but the artwork is cool :D

high res: https://sta.sh/01e6aviafcqy

I mean, look at it!

high res: https://sta.sh/019j9fc9lz0q

Artwork number 4! Structure deck cards in the top left, below them promos from the old PC game (they have a nice SCR effect which glitters like this # instead of a straight line or /) On the right some commons and the sexy ultimate rares.

high res: https://sta.sh/0136gaeq9ukq

They’re just cool.

high res: https://sta.sh/09qrjr2mgd3

The most valuable page in this binder- because of the baby sitting in the bottom right corner <3 But first, take a look to the left. Top row: commons which also came in the structure/starter deck in which the UMR were included. Bottom row: SCRs but with a shimmer which goes like this: / Top right: URs Bottom right: The two almost identical prints with the most difference in value in the whole collection - the left one is a few € and the right one is a few 100 :’D This P in the serial number must be really valuable. Sad thing: They’re only rares with some starfoil thing going on (I don’t know how the rarity is called, it’s not actually starfoil since there are no stars on it but dots). It’s a shame. They’re not even very pretty :’D

high res: https://sta.sh/06t96pbi963

This page is interesting again since we’re switching artworks :D But I would like to add that the DB1 prints here do have the colour difference between American and European version again (but I didn’t capture it in an additional photo this time) - I mostly own European English versions, so I thought I could mention it again ;> JUMPing to the right (badumm-tss) we have artwork #5 with the promos out of the Jump magazine and the first apprearance of the true Black Magician ;P Below them is one the old promotional cards they had ind the Banzai magazine (I guess). The Magical Circle next to it was just a thing I got as an addition and it was fitting to also put it here instead of losing it in my other cards.

high res: https://sta.sh/0354sytgik2

Another shot of the Jump cards to show some things. First of: They don’t have the bold grey border the artworks usually have on all cards - I did realise this lately. It finally made sense to me why I always thought they look strange! It was a mind-blown-moment. And second: You can see that at some point they changed the size of the picture on the card in direct comparison! And for some reason the newer print (right) is more crisp and a little brighter.

high res: https://sta.sh/01ktxzsdnqcx

Artwork #6 - which is pretty nice btw - and the very sexy field center card released this year plus an old bandai card. The tag for the bottom left row is missing since they are the newest prints (came in the Yugi-Kaiba-Deck duo box this year) and I simply was to lazy to stick one of my beautiful tags on them :’D It would have been very nice to have the golden parts on the field center card shiny gold/metallic printed tho.

high res: https://sta.sh/01vkzvfl9qzu

Movie artwork and also the last artwork for now - until the new one hits the stores on 22.12.18 in Japan. I should have sorted them in an other way starting with the URs, going to the gold rares and endling with the gold secret rares which are the ultimate shiny glitter-fuck-fest you can have :’D I love them. In the right corner is the Token card from the tins last year and a very nice business card of a German online card shop infront of my Konami ID card. This way I will never lose or forget to bring it since I’m always travelling with my magicians if I’m going for some plays or the small weekly tournament in my city.

high res: https://sta.sh/0gkts6ykil8

Last additional page - the coloured rares again but in French! :D Exept the purple rare, it’s missing. But instead I put an anime orica in there. And since the oversized DM card also got a serial number and it’s English it’s in my collection, too ;D

Wow, this was a ride. It took me about 1,5 hours to write this wall of text and put pictures in and so on. I actually have a second binder slowly filling up with DMs, but they’re not unique prints and just all the cards in here over again since I just trade for every DM I can get :U It’s fun!

I don’t know for which cards I’m going next. Maybe some more European ones like Spanish, French, Portoguese or Italian or just gong for the Japanese and Korean cards. Maybe a little of both. Just get what I can grab.

#yugioh #dark magician #trading cards #dark magician collection #trading card collection #aka where all my money goes #but look at them sexy bois and you'll agree it's worth it #I'm a huge nerd #if it comes to DM cards it is

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pizsospa · 6 years

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Schneeplestein ARG

So this blog @schneeplestein made by @crazions caught my attention some day and it looked very interesting and I decided to follow it. Since they there have been a bunch of posts in what looks to be like an ego ARG (Alternate Reality Game) which also involves 2 other blogs. (It might not really be that but I will call it that anyway)

I like code solving and I love ARGs so i took the time to read through all of the story and decode what I can to combine it all in one post for anyone interested... Note that this thing has ended

Also note that I’ll only really go about the “hidden” material, not story, and I don’t want to repost any logs so I highly encourage anyone interested to go take a look at the original blog first. Some great work has been put into it and it deserves to be appreciated!

NOTE!! After I finished this post I did find out someone else made something and I don’t want to change anything in what I solved and take credit for stuff I haven’t done so I will just leave BIG LINK to this doc file by @3ksal that contains a lot, some stuff which I would have never been able to do

(Its a bit long so... everything is under read more)

TO SET THINGS DOWN FIRST! I might have been a bit too late to investigate all of this since I started this basically few posts before it offically ended. Some stuff seems to have changed and I have missed it :( So we start off with Henrik’s blog posting a text post containing a nice big link.

This link leads to a Vimeo upload with a placeholder text title, black and white patter and seems to contain morse code and someone speaking, all distorted. (I don’t know if there is anything behind that speech, I’m not good at all with such stuff. I also tried to solve the morse code, really tried, downloaded the video to slow it down but I just really have trouble with making out audio so... sad but I gave up on it) Besides that there is one QR-code displayed 2 times! That code is a Imgur link which will lead to this

A nice edited hospital hallway gif with some text, one of which is a code and the other another Imgur link to that

(thanks for no double coding)So we have a key and a code which I put into AES 128bit decoder (I know the creators seems to like that) and got..

A blog @97-110-116-105 . Now I found this blog way before I saw this so it was kinda useless to solve and the blog already had some posts on it. From what it looks like it belongs to Anti, so I’ll just call it Anti’s blog.

The actual story starts of with Henrik telling us his blog has seem to got all posts deleted and he has memory problems. He finds out he has some logs laying around and starts posting them along with general text posts about his situation and answered asks. After the link the first suspicious post there is this one. Some zalgo and some binary which translates to:

Someone clearly mocking Schneep On his post “a small update” is also the first time google doc links is added under the word “God”. More links like this are on some other posts later too

Some time later Schneep’s blog posts a second post similar to his very first one, it contains a Vimeo vid uploaded by the same user who uploaded the first one. It’s a glitched out distorted old ad for Camel cigarettes and wouldn’t you know? There is another QR-code in it! This time it links to a private page on Anti’s tumblr.

It shows us a morse code and a hexadecimal one.

First and foremost: I haven’t solved this. The hexadecimal code brings ”aGFwcGllc3RiaXJ0aGRheS5jYXJyZC5jw==“ which def looks like AES again but I can’t make out the key. I’m sure its in the morse code from the post plus from the video description and title but different decoders give me different answers and it just looks like a lot of random letters. Might be an anagram (that contains the word fun) but idk...

Sometime later regarding the story you might have noticed a 3rd blog from Chase that is also part of the story. It doesn’t have any hidden codes on it like the others. He interacts with some of Henrik’s posts and later even posts a convo between them!

But after some time we get a post of him on the floor along with a google doc that sounds like someone had shot him.

(Small post to note with a google doc link, I just like the writing)

Sort of hidden in some text posts throughout is a whole seperate website! (it is linked on 2 different posts)

NOTE that there was a countdown!

Taking a look at the header you can clearly tell it was counting down to Henrik’s birthday. I only found this on said date so i didn’t get to see this live, only when you click on the link it appears for half a second. And of corse... more aes code...

A sweet little message! Doesn’t mean much so back onto what the website showed after the countdown:

A german “welcome” greets us and you can have a dialogue with someone (sounds like Anti imo).

You will reach an end and depending on if the one you’re talking to liked your answers or not you will be guided to a blank page or to a site on Schneep’s blog.

Sneaky little creator has changed the picture on this page and I wouldn’t doubt it didn’t change before I saw it too, I only got to see 2 images though. First time visting I got this

Probably a picture of infusion bags hanging? highly saturated with filters on top. Changing levels of the picture in the right top corner you can see some binary but...

The picture is small... and it was way too hard to read no matter how I changed filters so what/if that means anything is still out there and hopefully not too important.

The changed picture is this now:

This is all that was to the extra site if the picture doesn’t change again. (I checked the source code too but since it seems to be made with the help of a website tool i doubt you can even hide anything in there)

Anti’s blog starts off with this

I fairly simply Cipher that really doesn’t mean anything(or does it?). It translates to: I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY

In general he laughs around at the other’s misery and mocks them.Here he links to some imgur post

(”DO YOU WANT HIM TO DIE?”) Doesn’t look like there is something hidden in it, but I have to appreciate the work, it looks really cool imo

In another post he tags it something weird looking but the “?=“ definitely told me it should be a youtube video link. I have tried to solve this and the “https://youtube.com/watch?=v” is sure but the rest of the link is hard to do. I have put it through Caesar Cipher decoder and decoded it by hand a few times, but the link doesn’t seem to work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i73ddxye4c I don’t know if it’s on my part and I actually did do something wrong, the video was deleted or lil Anti just played a trick all along.

Second post that links to another imgur site:

Looks like Henrik’s workplace with all these logs, a phone with broken screen, sticky notes and empty coffee cup and yet again!

Another code...There is one across all and then even damn morse code on the red one, really doesn’t make it easier to read with the 3d effect on top. I like to think I typed it off right and that “XILDM” was the key but it didn’t work. Plus the morse code is hard to read and I’m not sure in which order it should be so.... this is still open to be solved.

The last suspicious thing he posts is an audio post that sounds like an old clock ticking (?) getting louder. The name of it is yet another code and the picture a QR-code! The QR-code just leads to this, a google search for “does space have a sound” I thought for sure that would be the key to the code to solve it but no. I even thought ‘Maybe the key is the answer’ or the zalgo tag but no, don’t know what this one means.

All in all... I really enjoyed this!! I’m really sad to leave a bunch of things unsolved but I am not the brightest person for this. I haven’t seen anything like this in the community and outside it only a few that aren’t that interesting. While many will do a lot of code solving like this one, this also had more story and so much extra work put into it. Seriously, Google docs, the logs that were actual scanned papers, photographs, polaroids, The videos, A whole other website, The amazingly edited gifs and 3 whole blogs. A lot was put into this and I really like it, kudos to the creator, it was a really neat project! :)

#jacksepticeye #dr schneeplestein #schneeplestein arg #idk what else to tag this really?#blood tw #knife tw

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gxccistyless · 7 years

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Kiwi || Part Five.

I smashed out part five quicker than i thought. please let me know what you guys think of this... feedback is always lovely. Part six will probably be next weekend.

Also here you can read PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR ||

“Harry-” His eyes scan you from head to toe, lingering a little longer on bump more than anywhere else. You’re eyeing him up and down too. His hair is messy, his eyes are red... You’re not even sure he can stand up by himself let alone how he walked up two flights of stairs in the dark to your apartment. How did he even know where you lived? So many unanswered questions, but right now you weren’t getting any of those, and you knew it. You grab his arm over your shoulder, helping him to balance and walk him to the dining room table where you seat him fetching him a glass of water.

When you return and sit next to him, it becomes more and more evident that the Harry that you loved, isn’t here anymore. This is a dark and bitter Harry, the anger swelling in his eyes. You want to talk but the recollection of him yelling drunkenly on the phone at his mother stops you. You don’t want him to yell, you know you’ll cry and you don’t want him to know that he can still get the better of you so easily. So you just sit there and wait for him to talk. The awkward silence is broken by the buzzing of your phone.

Gemma: Hey i’m caught up, might stay here with a friend tonight but I’ll be back in the morning Xx

Knowing that Gemma wasn’t coming back made you feel a little uneasy. You had hoped that she’d be walking through the door any moment and kicking a very drunk Harry out. But with no intention of worrying her, you just tell her it’s fine and that you’re going to sleep anyway. When you look up from your phone his eyes are locked on you, as if he had been waiting for you to put it down. “I’m drinking to forget...” You’re confused by him at first, your eyes searching his for more answers..”You asked me what i’m doing to myself.... i’m getting piss drunk to forget how shitty my life has become, trying to forget how messed up and complicated everything in my life is and trying to forget how i’m still in love with you.” You’re shocked. Is it the alcohol talking? Or is he just speaking some sad truths that he’s had locked away for months. You’d been apart from him so long, you’ve forgotten how to tell his lies apart so you can’t be sure. You wish Gemma was here. She’d know if he was being straight. She’d call him out for his lies. “You don’t mean that, Harry.” “No I do, i swear it. It’s all i’ve thought about for the last six months.” Thinking back to New York, your heart sinks even more. You don’t want to be reminded of New York, you had been trying so hard to forget. “I think you should go”. The minute you say it, you regret it. It’s not what you want, you want him to stay and never leave, but not like this.. Not when he’s drunk. You hate it when he drinks, always have. He becomes this angry person that you don’t know. You want to call Anne, or Niall or someone, anyone to get him out of here, but calling Anne would only ensure panic and well what would you say to Niall? “Hi Niall, i know it’s been a while but i’m sure you’ve heard I’m pregnant, and well can you get Harry out of my house??” Hardly a conversation to be having with someone you haven’t seen in so long, especially this late at night.

Harry goes to stand up but you roll your eyes and tell him to sit down whilst you fix him the couch. “You can stay till morning, but then i want real answers, and if you can’t give them to me then i want you out of my apartment” He nods. You make him the couch, pour him another glass of water and then head to your room. You’re confused by him. One minute he’s angry and giving everyone the silent treatment, then he’s abusing his mum on the phone whilst still ignoring you, then he’s on your doorstep professing that he’s still in love with you. It’s all too confusing and frankly too exhausting. Just as your brain begins to switch off and you begin to doze, your bedroom door creeps open. “Harry- i told you to..” He doesn’t stop when you talk, he just walks in and closes the door behind him. “Can i please lay with you? I won’t try anyfin’ i promise”. You should say no, but really you’re exhausted you don’t have the energy to fight him on this. You lift the other side of the quilt and he gets in. “I meant it, i’m still in love with you. I want to be more involved ya kno’ like be a part of the baby’s life” “Go to sleep, Harry” And so he did, you turned your back to him and he turned his to yours and for the first time in almost seven moths, you slept in the same bed as Harry Styles.

When you wake up, he’s not in bed with you anymore. you put on your robe and head to the bathroom but he’s not there either. He’s not in the bathroom, the kitchen or the lounge, his wallet and keys are gone and so is he. Did he wake up and regret everything that he had told you last night.. were his drunken confessions just drunken talk? Did he mean it when he said loved you and that he would like to be more involved with the baby, or was it all just the alcohol talking. You feel like a fool. You’re thankful that Gemma got held up with errands yesterday and decided to stay at her friends apartment, you’re thankful that she wasn’t here to witness her brother in his drunken state last night, but most of all you’re thankful she’s not here right now because she doesn’t have to watch you cry.

When Gemma does arrive, it’s well after lunch. She can tell straight away that something happened last night whilst she was away. The energy in the apartment had unexplainably shifted, you’re still in your robe wrapped up in bed back to the state you were in when Harry had first left for America. It doesn’t take long for her to figure out her brother had been here last night, she slides into bed next to you as you sob telling her every last detail. For the most part she’s concerned for you and for the baby, all this up and down is unhealthy for the both of you. When she see’s that you’ll eventually be fine, her concern for you turns to anger for Harry, She loves her brother but wishes so dearly that he would make up his mind and stop playing these games. They’re unnecessary and she thinks he should stay away until he’s sobered up for more than a week and has made up his mind for the last time. So that’s exactly what she tells him when he picks up on the third ring. “What the hell have you done, idiot? First i have to deal with mum hysterically crying and now i have to deal with a seven month pregnant woman sobbing like a small child. Listen to me Styles, you get your sorry ass sober and the you apologise to mum, and once you’ve done that you bloody better think things through and make a decision once and for all... we can’t all keep living in Harry’s limbo... stop being a child, you’re a grown man..MAKE A DECISION..” She didn’t give him time to answer, she just hung up.

Gemma had Monday off. You had a scheduled 3D ultrasound appointment and Anne had made her way to London for the occasion as she had every other single ultrasound. You wonder if Gemma’s words had any effect on Harry, yoi wonder where he is.. is he okay or is he drinking again? But Anne, well she doesn’t have to wonder. She knows her sons okay, she knows he’s not drunk and she knows exactly where he is. He rang her crying after he had gotten off the phone with Gemma, Anne drove down to London yesterday afternoon staying with him at his house. They had a nice dinner together, Chinese takeout of course. They sat up all night talking about everything and anything, undoubtably there were tears shed. He shared his fears with her for the first time, and she truly understood them, but she didn’t necessarily agree with them. He told her his fears and she showed him her perspective of the whole situation. By the time they had gotten to sleep, Harry had finally made a decision.

So sitting at the cafe with Gemma waiting for Anne, you were blissfully unaware of what was coming for you. Gemma received a text from Anne which instructed her to tell you that she needed to go to the bathroom, leaving you alone at the table. Two minutes later someone sat down in the chair which Gemma had previously been in, thinking it was her you didn’t even lift your head from the magazine you were reading. “I told you not to read those stupid gossip magazines, they’re all full of shit...’ Your body is frozen. You’re almost scared to look at him, but you do anyway. He’s not drunk, he looks like he’s had a good nights sleep and funnily enough he looks more resolved than the last time you had seen him. You want to reach out and touch his face, but you resist knowing full well that there are people watching the two of you now, with the possibility of paps too.

“Why’d you leave?” He shrugs and stares at you. There’s a hint of sadness in his eyes, and disappointment in yours. “I’m sorry.. I thought it was a good idea... hell i thought i was doing you a favour” A favour? How could he be so unaware of the truth. “Okay Harry, because professing your love for someone and then leaving them is doing them a favour...” He can sense the annoyance in your tone. “Look i’m trying to turn a leaf here, i’m trying to apologise, please let me” But you’re as stubborn as he is, and Anne and Gemma who are sitting three tables over who can see it’s not going well finally join you both. At first theres a bit of awkward silence but then Gemma glances down at her watch "Well if we wanna make this appointment we best be on our way then...” All four of you get up which half surprises you as you didn’t expect Harry to want to come. but given the fact that all you’ve wanted was for him to try you don’t dismiss him.

Gemma helps you onto the bed whilst the technician turns on the machine. You’ve done this a few times by now so you knew the drill, he’d look at his machine a bit before turning on the projector on the wall. It was a hospital protocol to have a check of the baby first to make sure everything was okay before giving you all the opportunity to see the baby. Anne and Gemma were on your left close to the foot of the bed and Harry was also on your left but closer to your head. When the technician was finally done with his checks he turned on the projector, and there the baby was in all it’s 3D glory.... Anne was the first to cry, telling you how cute the baby was... Gemma held back her tears making a joke of how lucky you were that the baby resembled you and not Harry, if looks could kill the look he gave her would have had her lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood. The technician said he would give you all a moment, Anne and Gemma decided to do the same for you and Harry and so there you were just the two of you and a 3D version of bump in a room by yourselves. You hadn’t of realised he was crying until he sniffled. You turned to him handing him a tissue. “Please give me another chance? I know we’ve been through a lot but i really do love you and want to at least try and make things work...” You really had no idea what you were going to do. You wanted so badly to let him back in but with his drinking and mood swings becoming a problem you weren’t sure if you trusted his ability to stick to his decisions. You don’t want to say no, but you don’t want to have him walk away from you again. So you both sit in silence and he waits for an answer.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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