#saengtaiphat

[heretherebedork]

We are getting so many fascinating perspectives on the idea of soulmates, especially soulmates that are part of destiny and a disease.

Tai decided he could never love his soulmate because he risked losing him and that would hurt too much.

Phat would cure himself of the disease in a heartbeat and doesn't think of his soulmate as someone he wants to love.

Tian is jealous of the idea of soulmates but also does his best to dismiss the whole concept.

We don't know Lomfon's thoughts, not yet, but I expect he'll be different as well.

We know that Tien and Tai's parents were soulmates but that their relationship didn't work forever and that shaped all of their children as well...

Soulmates being part of a world is fascinating because you get to see how these ideas and expectations shape people but also shape the world. Soulmates are part of a disease, a disorder, but they are also soulmates. So which side wins? The disease or the soulmates? It's so wild to consider how much this means to the world and to love and to how people love and who they love...

[heretherebedork]

Alright, so...

Saengtai hears Phat's voice in the rain and that makes them soulmates.

But Phat has decided to deny destiny and fell in love with someone else.

Now Saengtai is torn between already falling for Phat and his own fear of love and the pain that comes with losing it.

But there's also Lomfon coming in with the book and the talk about passion. Lomfon who shares interests and love.

And there's Tien just starting to discover that he might have feelings for Lomfon as well (absolutely despite himself).

Oh, the mess of it all. The agony of love and destiny and defying and accepting.

[heretherebedork]

This boy has reached never level of absolute darling baby and way too relatable. I love him. I really do. He's so unsure of himself and insecure in the biggest but also the quietest ways and he's living a dream he gave up on because he saw no way of ever trusting it but he can't help but trust Phat.

[heretherebedork]

Love is most definitely stored in the hands.

[heretherebedork]

If I die, it will be by Phat trying to figure out what is going on while Saengtai desperately pushes him away because he's so certain Phat knows who he is and is mocking him. (Why would anyone love him? Saengtai has never felt loveable, has given up on that side of himself for so long that he only believes the worst about himself now.)

[heretherebedork]

The real feeling of watching Phat tell Saengtai he's making his own destiny... by falling for Saengtai... this is my favorite soulmate vibe ever.

(Saengtai knows they're soulmates but Phat only knows he's fallen in love, finally.)

[heretherebedork]

Tien and Saengtai are both terrified of either loving or being loved, of someone looking at them and seeing who they really are because they don't trust who they are, they don't trust that they can love or be loved.

Saengtai has been running from being loved for years and is now face to face with his soulmate who he thinks has chosen someone else and so he is trying to run from it, trying so desperately because he knows he's following in his parents footsteps (he's so sure).

Tien, though, is different. He isn't running from love so much as he's hiding himself, he's hiding behind jokes and chaos and rolling his eyes and snapping and pushing people from getting too close, from seeing how fragile he really is because he's the support column for his brother and a lot of his family but he's hollowed out inside from it.

Lomfon forced Tien to be serious for the one moment and that was all it took for him to crack there and to touch his hands and to let himself be touched as well but he couldn't handle it, can't let it happen again, can't let anything near him.

Phat is showing Saengtai that being soulmates is about more than just voices in the rain but also about caring for someone and for learning to trust someone, learning to let yourself trust and let yourself care about people even if there's a risk of pain or hurt.

[heretherebedork]

My undying love for everyone in this show continues but also this was such a good moment and such a fun highlight of their personalities and their growing relationship but also how much this story is both emphasizing the idea of soulmates while also downplaying the concept in the world.

But now they both know and they're both open about it and no matter the doubts and the old relationships that plague them both... there is a future here for them, one they can make together.

(If they take the chance, if they have the chance, even if being soulmates doesn't promise them anything they can make it themselves if they just try... but will they try?)

Look, I just love them? Okay? They're so cute and they're made of destiny and choice and love and care and patient and hurt and destiny that was met by being defied.

[heretherebedork]

Is this really Tai initiating adult communication with Patts about his former romance and their own status as soulmates? Is he really starting to talk to him about his own insecurities and giving Patts a chance to respond? It is! It's a mature conversation about love and fears and connection that ends with the choice of each other.

Too bad it's episode 8 of a 12 episode series so this can't last. But I really appreciate how mature this conversation turned out to be and how their connection keeps growing alongside their understanding of each other.

[heretherebedork]

The fact that Phat cut in the line specifically to try to get a chance to get closer to Saengtai and to see him again because he saw him before with the cat and fell instantly in love while Saengtai is recognizing his voice and absolutely barely holding himself together and it's about soulmates being soulmates for a reason and that reason isn't just the rain, it's the soul.

[heretherebedork]

Just me, still thinking about Tien and Lomfon and how Lomfon, in the preview, talks about being Saengtai's soulmate but how the tropes of the show are pointing to him being paired with Tien and how the show is going to be looking at soulmates and the idea that being soulmates isn't enough, that love is love and soulmates are soulmates but sometimes you need something more and that's such a fascinating concept to explore.

That Saengtai and Phat are soulmates but also that Lomfon hears things as well, that Tien is protecting his brother, that their parents were soulmates who didn't stay together, that falling in love with you soulmate is something that has to happen, that love can just be love...

I cannot wait. I love shows about fated love still not being everything and how fate is fate but also love is love and the way fate can turn into love but love can also change fate.

(The idea of the deafness in rain being a disorder and a disability but also a source of jealousy and fate and love, something that is isolating but also brings people together, that it marks them apart as both alone at times but also somehow more together.... I love it so much.)

[heretherebedork]

I love watching Saengtai coming to terms with liking his soulmate but also the fear of two years of silence and the awkwardness of his insecurity about love and his own self-imposed loneliness and how he views his ability to hear his soulmate as a disease. He's struggling with so much, both good and bad, but he's already showing that he can grow and change and learn and fall for Phat... but it's about how Phat might already consider him his soulmate but now has to actually get to know him, to learn who Saengtai is and find out why they're soulmates and learn to love him as a real person and not just a concept or muse for his songs.

[heretherebedork]

I love this tiny boy so much. He finally decides to take a risk on destiny only to discover that destiny is being defied regardless, that his choice in the matter was made long ago by his own hurt and pain. But also that the best way he knows to express pain are these little notes and he's hurting but he's also just more than a bit in love just from one meeting. But he doesn't know what to do. He's been denying love for so long not because he's struggling with love but because he falls in love so easily.

Saengtai always hides himself and those yellow sticky notes are the most honest part of himself.

(He writes to Tien about Phat in pink but Tien tells him to unfuck it in yellow because yellow is Saengtai and Tien knows it, knows his brothers, knows his colors and he just wants him to be happy, just wants everyone to be happy.)

It's hard to be the one trying to defy destiny when you knew you'd fall in love with just a few words and a couple musical notes, though.

[heretherebedork]

Phat spotting Saengtai out of the window with the cat on his lap and smiling so sweetly and that just absolutely capturing his heart has taken me out. And then the rain! And Phat was talking about Saengtai being adorable with his cat in the rain and it's just wonderful here. So sweet, so darling... but also just such a good chance to see how much Phat has been struggling with the silence but also how their emotions are all mixed up because Saengtai tried to block out every chance at love.

I do love that what we're genuinely seeing is Phat choosing Saengtai without even knowing what he's doing.

[heretherebedork]

Not me still thinking about La Pluie two days later and right before I go to bed, thinking about how much Saengtai has pushed down on himself because of his parent's divorce and how he smiles so brightly when he finally lets himself listen to Phat talk through the rain and the way his imagination ran with him because he is desperate for that kind of connection. He's hiding so much of himself out of a fear of what happened to them but that's not who he is, it's who he's forced himself to be (he's not loyal and quiet blue, he's loud and boisterous and bright yellow but he's not letting himself be because that's what hurt his parents, isn't it? A lack of loyalty.)

But also about how Lomfon is going to have heard him as well, that he and Phat are not alone, that his nightmares about soulmates are, in a way, true but even more that his nightmares about hurting people will be true because Lomfon loving him will hurt Tien and that he will be forced to make a choice, to love one way or another, that his choice will hurt someone, that soulmates are not just soulmates because love has to be there as well.

And Tien, Tien, the younger brother who's rude and abrasive and joking and never serious and pouting and sulking and looking out for his big brother because he knows how sensitive he is, how easily hurt he is... only to be sent on a discover to realize that he is sensitive as well, that love hurts and hurts so easily and that he is going to shatter into a thousand pieces but still has to fight for his brother's happiness... but also his own.

I've had one episode and a teaser trailer and I am already losing my mind. Saengtai talking about his disorder as a disease and a disability while Lomfon bemoans how many people are jealous of him and the way he realizes who Phat is and can't help himself from chasing him down and the way the rain both brings love and brings isolation and how it's water the washes everything away but also brings them together.

[heretherebedork]

Okay, flirting via vet talk about comforting a cat is my new favorite. I love this. Phat is a hero. The way he's so gentle and so sincere and just so in love and so intense at the same time... I love him. And Saengtai is so taken despite himself, despite being so sure that Phat has fallen in love with someone else.