#saezuru ch 53

[transparentduckbird]

Saezuru cover 🩵💙 enjoy fandom 😘

issue "ihr HertZ 2023年9月号"

Here : https://bs-garden.com/product/ihr-hertz-202309/

[beigepillow]

Now that I have read and processed ch 56, I want to touch on whether Yashiro was okay or not with the “just sex” declaration Doumeki gave. While I think it is okay for that moment, I don’t think Yashiro saw Doumeki’s love through his actions in this chapter. Just like Doumeki can’t read Yashiro’s mind, I don’t think we should expect Yashiro to be able to read Doumeki’s. Yashiro has struggled with the idea that Doumeki hates him since they reunited. In ch 53, after Doumeki kissed him and they had sex, Yashiro thinks that Doumeki hates him and mournfully thinks back to Doumeki’s love confession back in volume 5. To go from that to being able to understand Doumeki’s love without any kind of verbal confirmation is not my interpretation of Yashiro at all. I don’t think Yashiro is angsting over what Doumeki said right now but we have to remember Yashiro’s history. He has been used for sex his entire life and that melancholic smile, to me, is Yashiro accepting a familiar pain. While saezuru contains a large amount of ambiguity, it is still a love story at the core and while he may not have gotten a love confession in this chapter, Doumeki gave him a glimpse of the old him with the cigarette line. With that glimpse and the potential gentle sex, I think Yashiro can gain the confidence to eventually face his fears.

[danmeibrainrot]

Saezuru ch 53 preview is out 🎉😭

[beigepillow]

Do you think Doumeki shouldn't be so insistent and cold towards Yashiro? Or is he, even if not quite, but still doing the right thing?

That is a question the saezuru fandom seems to be conflicted and split on. I know most of us are looking at Doumeki’s actions and behavior under a scope of how it makes Yashiro feel but I want to understand how Doumeki feels about it. He is pushing all his feelings down to act in a way that he thinks will keep Yashiro around for at least a little bit. It must be exhausting. It is often written off how Doumeki is feeling because well he is the one who is insistent on them being around each other but like I said in a previous post where I was asked why Doumeki insists on Yashiro, they’re both insistent on the other. I would say Doumeki is not as insistent as we make him out to be and has even tried to push Yashiro away which Yashiro took poorly. It is tough to say if Doumeki is acting correctly to ultimately end up with Yashiro because honestly I don’t feel like that is his goal. Him not wanting Yashiro to run away does not mean his end goal is for them to be together. Doumeki’s actions seem to be someone who is trying their best and I’m pretty sure we will start seeing Doumeki do some reckless shit as alluded to in ch 53 when he was going to run into a building, filled with people who want to hurt him, with no information and no weapons. Doumeki’s coldness and distance are defense mechanisms and honestly I wouldn’t say Yashiro is a wilting flower. Yashiro can stand up to Doumeki and has already done so. Yashiro’s misery is connected to the idea that Doumeki has moved on. If Doumeki were to go back to how he was in the first few chapters but was no longer in love with or wanted to be with Yashiro, Yashiro would still feel just as he is feeling now. In fact, Yashiro getting confirmation that he truly is unloveable and doesn’t deserve to be with the man he loves and will send him into a downward spiral he is not equipped to handle since he no longer has his coping mechanism. The truth is they will not be together until one of them is open and vulnerable. Their defense mechanisms hurt the other and they won’t be able to resolve anything while constantly hiding behind it as we have seen in this volume. We got everything we thought would resolve their problems (the biggest being the impotency reveal) and none of it worked.

[beigepillow]

Hi! I hope you're doing well! I would like to know your interpretations from the cover of volume 9 and the content of the whole volume. In my opinion, when I first saw the illustration, it seemed to me that Y was pushing D's hand instead of pulling him. I don't know to me he looks hesitant.

Thank you for sending me this ask! I had some thoughts on the cover and their dynamic overall so this ask is coming at a great time. The cover seems purposely meant to be ambiguous where we can’t fully tell if Yashiro is pushing him away or pulling him in. I wrote a very short post earlier that Yashiro was pulling him in but that was more of just a fun thought. What if Yashiro is doing neither? What if he is just holding Doumeki’s hand not pushing him away but not quite pulling him in either? Thinking about the contents of volume 9, their dynamic has been very much Doumeki initiating kisses or conversations and Yashiro reciprocating. Yashiro hasn’t really been trying to run away from Doumeki all that much. In ch 51, he tried to fuse himself to Doumeki reciprocating that kiss. In ch 53, he was very hesitant to meet Inami and didn’t really fight against Doumeki when he went instead. In ch 56, he makes an indirect confession instead of trying to run away. Yashiro is no longer actively pushing Doumeki away and I think that should be acknowledged. While I get many people were upset about the whole sex friends deal, imo a positive of that deal is that they’re both agreeing to it. There is less of a power dynamic at play here than previous times as Doumeki is not physically imposing himself and Yashiro is no longer Doumeki’s boss to order him around. So just like Doumeki is still wearing his glove while touching Yashiro meaning his defenses are up, Yashiro is not quite at the position to pull Doumeki in yet.

But I have noticed whenever I make a prediction or analyze saezuru in a way that puts Yashiro in a more pursuer role, I tend to get some disbelief from the fandom. Many people seem to have trouble imagining Yashiro not only pursuing Doumeki himself but even fully reciprocating the feelings. While I see why, I also think that is kind of a problem too. It shouldn’t be hard to believe that Yashiro will never stop Doumeki from pulling away (and you can make the argument that he has stopped Doumeki from leaving a couple of times throughout saezuru) or will forever just let Doumeki go. Honestly I don’t think that is the kind of relationship Doumeki wants either. This isn’t directed to you anon more about a pattern that i have seen since i started writing posts on saezuru.

[beigepillow]

Use machine translation. Ch. 53, Yashiro points out that Doumeki's tattoo is“天女”, which I think is the author's cue.The tattoo represents Doumeki's reasons for staying in Yakuza. The legend of the“天女”, A man stole the fairy's clothes——Because the fairy needed to wear that dress to fly back into the sky，He wants to keep her. But in the end the fairy left,Back in the sky with clothes.There are many different versions of this story,But in any case it looks a lot like Doumeki and Yashiro four years ago. I don't think Doumeki deliberately chose the meaning of the pattern, so this is the information the author only gives the reader. He didn't choose the tattoo because he was loyal to others.That's why Doumeki told Kamiya not to expect him to rise to prominence.

“Don't leave because it's important; let go because it's important.”This is what the Japanese propaganda in volume six of Saezuru says. Four years later Yashiro is more susceptible to Doumeki's influence, and I don't think it's just because he can't lie to himself. A big part of Yashiro's rejection of Doumeki was that he didn't want Doumeki to stay in Yakuza's world.Yashiro's life is not worth fighting for, and he fears that Doumeki will become a part of it.So instead of making Doumeki officially a yakuza, he told Doumeki that a severed finger and a suit could be a regular person.

Now Doumeki is the real yakuza, Yashiro's only problem is himself, so he's more likely to have intense emotions.

Thank you for providing some insight into the tattoo! I was a bit confused by the meaning and thought it could possibly be a geisha as well. But your explanation helps clear things up a bit. That story does remind me of Yashiro and Doumeki and I wonder if there was a narrative purpose to keep a reminder of Yashiro leaving on Doumeki’s back. Is it to make us as an audience understand that Doumeki constantly thinks about it and is waiting for Yashiro to leave again? Or to show us that he does understand he can’t make Yashiro stay with him no matter the lengths Doumeki was willing to go? Or am I looking too deeply into it which is also a possibility lol. I do think Doumeki is loyal to sakura. While he does lie about Yashiro, he does make sure to be upfront about the investigation and Muraji warning Doumeki makes me think that there is a bond there. Doumeki is definitely torn between his loyalties to sakura and Yashiro though. I agree that Yashiro is having some intense emotions because the reasons he had for leaving Doumeki have all kind of fallen apart with Doumeki being yakuza and Yashiro no longer being able to believe in his masochist facade. I believe Doumeki is also struggling with his own feelings for Yashiro but he is able to hold back because he is aware he did everything he could to be with Yashiro but in the end had to let him go while Yashiro doesn’t have the same comfort since he is the one who forced the separation. Any help in understanding cultural nuance in saezuru is really appreciated!

[beigepillow]

Question about estimating how much of Saezuru is left. I think we had some previous discussions since we know Saezuru is winding to a conclusion soonish. Looking at the previous volumes, there seems to be typically 6-7 chapters. We are now hitting chapter 8 for volume 9 (unless they don't name which chapters are in which volumes? are we still in vol. 9?) so I am thinking this will be the final vol. 9 chapter and we'll have either a, them admitting feelings and reaching a new level of stuff to work through or maybe b, hit another denial wall that pushes them further apart. And with either scenario we enter vol. 10 with the Yakuza plotline picking up and the convoluted feelings also growing in speed (be it overwhelming acceptance or reckless distance). Kind of how vol 5. had them coming together then Y pushing D away and vol 6. having D try to get back into Y's life and the Hirata climax with Y's final exile of D. I still think vol 10 will be the final, but is there any way vol. 9 might be longer and this all somehow wrapped up in like 2 chapters? There's no way, right? I don't know, thoughts? Estimates?

Volume 9 so far consists of ch 51, 52, 53, 54, 55 and now 56. It is possible we can get one more ch for this volume but there has been only 6 chapters so far. I definitely think that there will be at least one more volume left because nothing has been really resolved. Unless Yoneda Kou is determined to finish saezuru up in this volume which would probably require at least 5 or more chapters but it would be rushed compared to everything else in saezuru. I was hoping that Inami would be dealt with in the last few chapters since that would represent them starting to deal with the issues and conflicts they have but unfortunately he will still be around. I am also sure that she would want to move on to other mangas eventually. She has some on hiatus until saezuru is finished since saezuru has become her priority.

[danmeibrainrot]

Saezuru ch 53 AND cover in July omg😭😭❤❤

[beigepillow]

Choice and Free will in Saezuru

Throughout many of my posts/asks, I emphasize how important it is for Yashiro to understand what he exactly he wants. A running theme I have noticed throughout saezuru is the lack of free will Yashiro has. He has been forced to do things throughout his life. Some may consider Yashiro joining the yakuza a choice he made to protect Kage but I think it was a choice he was forced into. We often see Yashiro accept his circumstances because he learned not to fight but instead survive. When Yashiro meets with Doumeki again after the timeskip, he often fantasizes about kissing Doumeki. But he technically got his kiss in ch 53 so what else does Yashiro want? We can assume he wants Doumeki to confess his love but Yashiro hasn’t really been able to think about what he wants the outcome of this to be. Does he want a relationship? Or can he settle for just sex? Does he want Doumeki to be with only him or can he handle being able to share Doumeki with Izumi? Though these answers may be obvious to us, they are not as obvious to Yashiro or Doumeki. Yashiro has never let himself think about what he wants because there was never a point. He didn’t think he was loveable and he thought he deserved all pain and abuse. Doumeki has also demonstrated dub con and hasn’t given Yashiro the space to understand what he is feeling. If Doumeki takes a step back, it can push Yashiro into realizing that at the very least he doesn’t want Doumeki to leave him. Once Yashiro is able to understand his own desires, I think the next step would be him to chase after or fight for what he wants. Doumeki can’t decide on Yashiro’s future for him and he doesn’t seem to want to do that either. Doumeki wants to be chosen just as badly as Yashiro wants to be chosen. In ch 53, we actually got the first indication of what Yashiro wants emotionally when he thought of Doumeki’s confession. Though I think Doumeki will distance himself from Yashiro, I don’t think that would be a death sentence for them. I actually believe that Yashiro is capable of fighting for Doumeki. Doumeki has seemingly just pushed down all of his emotions and I think it will all come back up for him. Having that change in dynamic will allow Doumeki to process his trauma and emotions while Yashiro finally learns that he can desire something and eventually have his desires come true.