#same with matilda- which is not a fight i'm looking forwards to at all

[nagalias-mindscape]

I explained a little about my throwing-rock only run of MTaS to my sister. She brought up a very good point that still makes me laugh.

Sis: So... You still plan to marry Logan in this run?

Me: Probably, yeah. Why? I like his events, and Andy's adorable. marry the man for the kid- go figure. It's me.

Sis: ... Don't you... Don't you have to fight him? For a mission or something?

Me: Yeah, rescuing Matilda from Logan. Why?

Sis: You're going to be doing that with rocks, yeah?

Me: ... Yea- oh.

Sis: And it's a reverse proposal, too. You bully a man into submission via the power of a throwing stone, and he eventually decides "Yeah, this is the gal for me". What the fuck.

Me: I mean... I think it's pretty canon that Haru's the brain of the two? Logan's not stupid by any stretch of the word, but... rash sometimes overtakes common sense.

Sis: He apparently appreciates the kind of guff it takes for some wet-behind-the-ears city slicker to face down some desert outlaw with a gun using nothing but the power of rocks. No other option, you pelted a hole right into his heart.

Me: A weapon so absurd for an adult to use that Logan can't help but think about it for weeks after. It's stuck in his head like a broken record. What kind of messed up freak does it take to get someone who will face down a bandit armed to the teeth and decide 'yeah, good old rocks from the ground will suffice against daggers and bullets'.

[withlovearya]

may 25, 2022

to: 배프

have you guys listened to harry's house? please say yes!!! huhuhuhu it's such a good album and i love it so dearly!!! i feel like my top three would be grapejuice, matilda and satellite.

speaking of matilda, it just hits very close to home you know. the chorus felt like someone just stabbed me on the chest out of nowhere!

here in my country, it's pretty common to be living under the same roof with your relatives unless your parents are capable enough to get a house of your own, which in my case, they're not. so things have been pretty much chaotic. it was actually fun when i was younger because i was a kid, i did not entirely know a thing about adulthood and was pretty much innocent about a lot of things. my dad died early, my only brother was taken by my relatives to the states when we were kids, and i only have my mother by my side. much like lady bird, i had a love-hate relationship with my mother. but growing up, you see and realize a lot of things, you see the true colors of your relatives and how they treated and is still treating my mother and now me. home was not home anymore. i used to beg for school to end so i can go home. when i reached college, i would wish the traffic to be longer so i wouldn't be home. sometimes i would do my research and projects at coffee shops because i didn't like the environment back at home--people always shouting, fighting, screaming at each other. even now actually.

the moment i started earning my own money and especially when the elections happened, i got to see more of the true colors my relatives have. they would talk behind my back, belittle me for being a scholar student back in college and studying at a 'public' school and not some prestigious university. my aunt who provides food for us in our house would sometimes get mad and would call us freeloaders. one of my uncles i recently hated because he physically hurts people when he's mad or drunk. it's just very chaotic.

i badly want to move out, but i am not financially capable. i will provide for me and my mom when i move out. house rent prices here are not cheap. there may be cheaper ones but i actually want to live in a decent house still. i'm also considering buying a cheap house and lot with the help of a government financial thing here, but i'm bad at decisions so i really don't know what to do. i didn't expect adulting would be this hard and complicated and i feel so lost i just want to pause the world and catch my breath. but i really do wanna move out soon. but then i have to pay the house, electricity, water, groceries, new furniture and appliances.... it's just to much and i'm not really earning much :((((

i really hope that the day this current house we live in gets renovated, i can find a cheaper house to rent or to buy and i can move out. i'll be saving up fo real now i just also have to pay my debts. remind me to save up and not buy unnecessary shit huhuhuhu. saving up is hard cos i like rewarding myself cos growing up i don't get to buy things i really want cos i didn't have the money :((( sigh. life's so hard, i did not sign up for this hahahskdjfk. can i just be youtube famous and earn tons of money???? hahaskdfjk i can't even buy my dream canon mark g7x so i can start my vlogging channel huhu. vlogging with my phone is hard cos i don't have much memory hahaha.

oh and before i forget! seungyounie, congrats on colorful trauma!! yugyeomie, i'm so happy for the comeback!! *sobs* hahaha jungkookie, looking forward to proof!! nayeonie, can't wait for your solo album!!! wooseokie, loved seeing your fansign photos! haha stay safe bub!

i hope you're all well!! stay safe, i heard covid cases are rising again in south korea! eat lots of healthy food and drink your water & vitamins!! hoping still to see you guys soon!