#sardonyx for the sardonic one

[norvicensiandoran]

I got kinda unhinged with the whip cream in True Lokean Fashion.

Meet my legit and absolutely worthy cake day sacrifice. I let Loki kinda land the ingredients in my lap, and knew I wouldn't have many spoons.

It's not even really a cake.

It's a pie, really, in a chocolate cheesecake shell.

But instead of cheesecake, I added *straight cold brew concentrate that just... came to me at a food bank one day, with homemade hot cocoa mix, right into vanilla pudding (that's the void you can see under all the whipped cream, set up like a pie in the face gag) and topped the whole thing with strawberry whipped cream that was real dairy.*

The real dairy will probably have some trickster worthy effects on me if I try some, but that just means more for The Trickster.

It has been a year full of anti Loki, racist, queerphobic, Asapope bullshit over on Norse Pagan Tiktok.

I needed to Make Something this year.

Hail Loki, god of pissing in the cheerios of bullies.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Preview 3

Oy.... sorry for taking so damn long on this... I really am trying with it but... distractions y’all... still have some original content in this chapter cause sure. Enjoy!

Given that Crying Breakfast Friends had an effective plethora of episodes, its marathon continued over the course of several days, and to avoid any further possible broadcast interruptions, Steven and Mabel had opted to continue watching it down at the Mystery Shack instead of the temple. In doing so, they managed to rope both Dipper and Stan into joining them, and while they weren’t too keen on watching the bizarrely depressing cartoon, but unfortunately neither of them were able to think of any good excuses to get out of it. So the group congregated in the den, which was still somewhat in shambles from the portal incident and the government invasion a few days prior, to watch the show with varying levels of interest.

“Why won’t you say thank you?!” Grumpy Pancake wailed somewhat angrily to Glum Glass, who answered in an expectantly mournful manner.

“B-because! I don’t know how!”

“Aww…” Mabel mused with a sympathetic frown. “Poor Pancake! He just wants to feel appreciated for all his hard work!”

“Yeah, but I can see Glass’ point too…” Steven said thoughtfully. “That’s just the thing with this show! All of its characters are so realistic and relatable!”

“You guys do realize you’re talking about a pancake and a cup here… right?” Dipper asked rather sardonically.

“Yeesh, I can’t believe you kids are actually into this sappy show,” Stan remarked just as dryly. “This thing is so far out there that it puts the cartoons that me and Ford used to watch when we were kids about animals beating each other over the heads with mallets to shame.”

“Oh yeah, how is Mr. Ford?” Steven asked, glancing away from the TV with newfound concern. “He seemed like he was really worried about the Gems the other day after they, uh… um… a-after they got their memories back and everything…”

“Pfft,” Stan scoffed, rolling his eyes at the mention of his brother. “Heck if I know. Sixer’s holed himself down in the basement for the past several days, probably working on some sort of nerd project or something. He’s barely even come up here at all and anytime he does he’s all mopey and depressed, acting like I didn’t just rescue him from some sort of nightmare dimension, the ungrateful jerk.”

“Aw, Grunkle Stan, you don’t mean that!” Mabel protested. “You and Grunkle Ford are brothers! You two love each other, just like me and Dipper do!” At this, she startled her brother by wrapping a playful arm around his shoulder, though unlike a few days ago, he didn’t push it away this time.

“…Kid, me and Ford aren’t as… uh… w-well, we used to be… um… ugh… never mind…” the conman let out a sigh of defeat, glancing away from the kids almost remorsefully. And, before any of them could pursue the unsavory manner any further, Stan quickly changed the topic to something a bit more manageable. “Uh, s-so anyway, how are the Gems doing? I heard that whole memory thing was… kinda rough for them.”

“Actually, they seemed mostly ok yesterday,” Dipper pointed out.

“Yeah, we went to the communication hub in the desert and Garnet and Pearl fused into Sardonyx and she took the entire thing out with her huge hammer!” Steven explained with a bright smile. “You should have seen it, Mr. Pines! It was incredible!”

“Sardonyx?” Stan questioned, raising an eyebrow before letting out a huff of a scoff. “That over the top broad? Yeesh, it’s been a while since I’ve heard anything about her.”

“Wait, Grunkle Stan, you’ve met Sardonyx before?” Dipper asked, rather surprised at this.

“No, but I’ve heard plenty about her from Amethyst,” Stan said, rolling his eyes. “Any time Garnet and Pearl turned into her, she would to vent to me about how pompous and annoying she was. Always seemed to be a sore subject for her if ya ask me, but what the heck do I know about all that Gem drama anyway? Seems like every other day those three are-” The conman suddenly stopped short upon noticing that all three of the kids were looking to him with concerned confusion, prompting him to realize he was treading on rather uncomfortable ground in light of recent events. So once again, Stan diverted away from the matter, even if he did want to discuss it further, just in a different way. “Hey, uh, I-I just remembered, I need to grab something from the kitchen,” he said casually enough as he rose from his chair. “One of you kids wanna lend me a hand?”

“Sure, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel volunteered with a smile. “I’ll-”

“No, not you,” Stan quickly rejected, much to his niece’s confusion. “You,” he snapped his fingers as he pointed at Steven instead. “Come on.”

“Oh, uh, ok,” Steven got up, somewhat confused, though he still followed Stan into the kitchen nonetheless. “So, what do you need help with, Mr. Pines?”

Stan paused, taking a beat to briefly glance back at the den, where the twins were still apparently distracted by the TV, before getting to the matter at hand. “I need you to tell me how Amethyst’s really doing,” he said, trying to act as disinterested as possible and coming across as anything but.

“Huh?” Steven frowned, caught off guard by this somewhat strange request.

“Ugh, listen, kid,” Stan began with an exasperated sigh. “Ever since the whole portal thing, Amethyst’s barely said a word to me. I know she’s pi—ticked off with me for keeping all of it a secret from her for all these years and I understand why, but whenever she gets mad at me, she’s usually pretty quick to get over it and move on. But this time is… different.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, she hasn’t even come down here to rant to me about this whole Sardonyx thing!” the conman exclaimed, somewhat frustrated as he began to pace. “I’m usually the first person she comes to to blow off steam with, especially about something like this, or heck, even that memory thing, but she hasn’t and it—it’s just… ugh, forget it!” Stan let out another aggravated groan as he slammed a hand down on the counter hard as he pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly upset.

Steven was silent for a moment upon seeing the conman’s outburst, concern filling his expression as he glanced down thoughtfully before tentatively speaking up. “You’re… worried about her… aren’t you?” Stan didn’t turn around or even offer a verbal response, but the way his shoulders hitched at this question was more than enough to give the young Gem his answer. “Mr. Pines, if you’re really worried about Amethyst, why don’t you just go up to the temple and talk to her yourself?”

“Because between you and me, kid, I’m probably just about the last person Amethyst wants to talk to right now,” Stan muttered, clear shame in his tone as he finally turned to face the young Gem. “B-but whatever, its fine. I’m sure everything will work out, j-just like it always does…” The conman’s already thin layer of confidence wavered as he turned to head back into the den, a small, defeated sigh escaping him as he spared not another word. After all, what could he really say to explain just how much guilt and regret he had felt ever since that confrontation in the portal room days ago?

[ddevriesblog]

Summer's last laugh

Summer’s last laugh

I try not to take the weather personally, but when it gets malicious, I can’t help personifying it. As humid summer finally draws to a close, August gets all dressed up and goes out on the town like a college student before buckling down to the books in September. When I found out that one of the August birthstones is sardonyx, it seemed appropriate. Sardonic August:painted lips smirk a last…

[theshatteredrose]

EOX Ponderings

Ok so since I'm still ecstatic that I can have all my boys in one place I'm now pondering about what I should class them as. It's fairly obvious that their class skills won't be an option so the DLC is just the pretty pictures of them. So it's time to reclass them. For the sake of the obligatory novel (or at least a series of oneshots with them interacting cutely) I'll keep them as their original classes.

But for the game itself they'll have new classes. This should be interesting.

Since ALL portraits are optional, every single one of my boys will be added to this list. Yes including EO1 and 3. All. Of. Them. Let's see how many boys I'll be messing with...

To make things easier those in ( ) will be their original class. After that is what I’ll reclass them as. Probably. Though tempting to make them all imperial for the lolz of it all :3

EO1: (Using EO1 Portraits)

Remedy - (Medic) Medic obviously, though subclassed as gunner Zircon - (Eo1/2 Landsknecht) Either hero or landsknecht Lazuli - (Alchemist) so probably zodiac for the elemental attacks Nzuri - (Ronin) Ronin Obsidian  - (Hexer) Arcanist       Onyx - (Dark hunter) Maybe harbinger or ninja    Quattro - (Protector) Protector Celesto - (Troubadour) Probably prince Sardonyx - (alcheist) Zodiac Sulfur - (Dark hunter) Nightseeker probably Wulfen - (Survivalist) Survivalist Sheldon - (Protector) Protector Andean - (Medic) Medic Chryso - (Survivalist) Survivalist Brody - (EO1/2 Landskencht) Probably landsknecht again Lyric - (Troubadour) Gonna have to go with prince again

EO2: (Eo2 Portraits)

Avith - (Dark hunter) Either nightseeker or harbinger        Axel - (Landsknecht) Hero and Imperial. Not sure which is the subclass yet Cedric - (Troubadour) Probably farmer and then prince Chi-hung - (Beast) Dunno...pugilist?   Farley - (Beast) Yeah turn him into a pugilist too XD         Lirit - (Troubadour) Prince again because of supportive skills (and orders can be musical right?)       Magnus - (Alchemist) Definitely zodiac       Rahas - (Dark hunter) Ahh...harbinger probably. Though making him a pugilist would be interesting :3       Sardon - (Alchemist) Zodiac but gunner is also an option       Simmons - (Landsknecht) Probably make him an imperial as well but highlander would be fun Zalaph - (Hexer) Arcanist probably but war magus as a subclass      

EO3:

Bahari - (Buccaneer) Gunner or pugilist since he's the brawler of the group         Devonta - (Hoplite) Protector and highlander as subclass      Garreth - (Gladiator) Tempting to make all sword-bearers imperials at this point but maybe landsknecht too Jaeger - (Arbalist) Gunner or survivalist Jaxen - (Buccaneer) Prince and gunner Jiri - (Wildling) Pugilist probably or survivalist Kardos - (Gladiator) Landsknecht probably but once again imperial is just so tempting. Maybe ronin         Owyn - (Monk) Pugilist and either medic or war magus       Razak - (Hoplite) Protector with shogun subclass       Sauh - (Wilding) Pugilist too probably with medic subclass Shobek - (Yggdroid) Ahhh...probably imperial.       Ziba - (Arbalist) Gunner or imperial because he gets to blow shit up      

EO4:

Ayjay - (Dancer) Probably harbinger Biast - (Bushi) Ronin or shogun Clester - (Fortress) Protector Falkner - (Sniper) Survivalist, though gunner is an interesting choice Fletcher - (Sniper) Survivalist and subclass farmer Isiah - (EO4 medic) Medic with imperial subclass for the option of a driveblade :3 Mahalah - (Dancer) Prince for supportive skills Nitish - (Runemaster) Zodiac with medic subclass Roxbury - (Fortress) Protector and imperial subclass Miach - (EO4 Medic) Medic with harbinger subclass because that vacant stare and a sycthe would be chilling Kalan - (Runemaster) Zodiac and imperial, though harbinger again would be interesting Durriken - (Runemaster) Zodiac

EO5:

Ashton - (Pugilist) Pugilist Blayke - (Fencer) Landsknecht or ronin Caelem - (Masurao) Ronin or shogun Chandra - (Shaman) Arcanist or war magus Drayce - (Dragoon) Protector and gunner Faelen - (Rover) Survivalist Fiorello - (Botanist) Medic or war magus Japhia - (Shaman) Arcanist or harbinger Kamali - (Warlock) Zodiac Kolya - (Masurao) Ronin or shogun Kyrell - (Necromancer) Arcanist or harbinger Liam - (Fencer) Landsknecht Lukas - (Warlock) Zodiac or gunner Palash - (Botanist) Medic Rhain - (Dragoon) War magus, focusing more on healing Sarkis - (Rover) Survivalist Shashi - (Warlock) Zodiac Tokala - (Pugilist) Pugilist Zohar - (Necromancer) Ahh let's make him an imperial. That's fun, right?

Whew I think that’s all of them *^*

HAHAHA I JUST REALIZED THAT I’M GOING TO HAVE AT LEAST A HUNDRED BOYS IN ONE PLACE JFC I WILL NEED ALL THOSE SAVE SLOTS HUH?

[norvicensiandoran]

Dark humor fail thought:

How does one "roll in their grave" if cremated?

Start a tornado in there? Form a lazy mini whirlwind with a hint of a ghostly groan on the wind?

[norvicensiandoran]

So if anyone remembers way back when I started this blog, I was still processing my divorce. Loki helped me do that.

My ex husband, as I mentioned in my deconstruction essays, wound up an Odin worshipper. (And no, not a racist one.)

He passed away recently. I am still seeking more info on it, but what I do know is he was given a Catholic funeral and Burial.

He was Heathen. He had left Catholicism.

I don't know if prayers or rituals for him from me will be welcome, but as a friend pointed out... they'd HAVE to be more welcome than that bullshit.

[norvicensiandoran]

[norvicensiandoran]

If anyone wants a little ritual for the night, here, have at it. 🦇🎃

[norvicensiandoran]

My Deconstruction Essay Series has been published!

... badly. I suck at formatting, sorry. 😅

This is... me being very vulnerable, but I felt like I needed to say the things.

Text is linked in proper order on my table of contents:

http://doran-of-the-north.blogspot.com/2022/10/table-of-contents-of-sort.html

Audio is here:

[norvicensiandoran]

[norvicensiandoran]

Saying this as affectionately as possible, of course. 😉

[norvicensiandoran]

👀 Loki, that u?

[norvicensiandoran]

I just found myself using the phrase "Shrodinger's Loki" to refer to his status as both bound and not bound.

Holy fuck that's ... I just... yeah that's a thing I just did.

This is what I get for offering him spiced dark chocolate. 🤣

But honestly he's been around ish today. I might make some coffee and ask him to chill out with me awhile and help me with my lil project. 😋

[norvicensiandoran]

Here it is. My obligatory April Fools / Loki post.

Nothing scary here. Unless vegetable platters are scary.

Hope people are having a good day despite the bad eggs.

[norvicensiandoran]

This is the most Myth!Loki Marvel!Loki meme I have ever seen and my favorite use of this meme format now.

[norvicensiandoran]