#save me gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries save me

[puppyeared]

renaissance dogys

characters belong to @canisalbus

[lesbians4leonardo]

100 prompts stolen from my friends and i

(100 prompts stolen from my friends and i)

“taps the sign that says guys please let me know when you get injured i trust exactly none of you to keep yourselves alive and well” “taps the sign that says hey i never did sports” “taps the sign that says boobies” “TAPS THE SIGN THAT SAYS FINE I WILL KILL YOU ALL”

“fuck you” “SIR YES SIR”

“i so badly want you to see my piss platoon in COTL”

“p.s. do you still have your ears pierced?” “mhm!” “not for long.”

“wait would tax fraud count as adultery?”

“[name] tanking radiation poisoning for the sole reason of why not. more news at 7”

“in THIS world, it’s either SHUT up or SLUT up and i ALWAYS slay!!”

“you are like the pinnacle of every Don’t instruction on a medical ad”

“when i was young, i too once had nipples”

“and they say white people have no culture. look at all these phrases”

“you texted me and called me a slur” “yahoo!!”

“allow the mundanity of your life to be filled by them. you will find love in your kitchen on a saturday morning when they’re frying eggs and you’re figuring out how to be a person over your coffee, and though you’re bone tired exhausted you’re still well aware that they’re there by the sizzling of eggs and you like that, even through your exhaustion you like that. you will find it when you take off your shoes and place them right next to theirs by the door. when you are loved, you will find love in every place that held nothing”

“to be loved is to find joy and love and care in what otherwise seems like the mundanity of life. like. like. words. words. uh. to be loved is to settle into the comfort of the mundane because you know that youre loved and cared for and the world is beautiful”

“if i was an orb with nothing else to do i’d ruin some childhoods too”

“one of the babies has breached containment”

“i want to put every cat in my mouth”

“i can’t stop writing my fingers don’t wanna stop fingering and these words just keep wording”

“[pet] has become catholic”

“ah yes, my favourite animal: the gun”

“i will eat the fetuses of your inhuman children you have hatefully inserted inside my chicken eggs with the prideful knowledge that i am saving the teeth of future children to come”

“you monster… i like how your mind works”

“what on earth happened i was playing mario kart”

“maybe i am a little coo coo guys…….. shakira shakira……..” “no the right person will love you for your alpha male swag”

“well, that’s what happens when you swipe a waterjet”

“also, he gives off bad vibes like an over cooked fish!!!!!!! remember!!!!!!!!”

“there is a small, air-filled blood cave in my foot” “as usual”

“YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOULL GET HIT BY A BUS >:)”

“[name] don’t fall for his tricks. he’s evil. a conniving little guy. with a bowl cut”

“i think you’re a culinary mad scientist”

“i’d love to punch you in the throat… but not like this, brother… not like this…”

“pissing on a dead guy rn btw” “rock on brother”

“everyone wins!! the femboy killed the business!!!”

“so i have a feeling it should be kicked into the corner like a failed organ harvest”

“current score is furry-1, god-0”

“guys…. come on…. we cannot have more than one loserfailure in this house please…..” “we’re all autistic?” “we all combine to make the loserfailure supreme” “LOSERFAILURES ROLL OUT” “we combine voltron style” “with the super long sequence” “i’ve had enough of your mouth!”

“[name] calls me milkboy because they can’t handle my milkboy swag”

“penis” “????? PENIS???????” “i’m helping you. you’re gay so i’m giving you penis. for emotional support”

“thank you for being suicidal so i can stim with your self harm scars”

“you have interesting flesh” “I HAVE INTERESTING FLESH?!”

“pull that milk cup a little bit closer so it can be like our baby…. it’s our little baby [name]….”

“STOP FOOTING MY TITS”

“i’m like a meat bullet”

“why are you so small?” “i miss the warmth of the womb” “you’re autistic”

“you are literally a dead victorian child” “don’t out him”

“half a year of man cum” “now what is wrong with you?”

“girlhood is defined not by misogyny or toys or violence but instead by stalking”

“YOU ATE MY CORPSE FIRST MAGGOT”

“sorry i’m trying to electrocute a man rn and i need both hands” “WHO???” “UHHH OWL???????? WDYM???????”

“girl relationships are kinda more complex than hieroglyphs tbh so maybe they thought that pedophilia would be the safer route idk i’m just a gaggot”

“hey girl new slur just dropped!!!”

“this song doesn’t just fuck it impregnates and raises the baby with gentle parenting”

“YOURE FRENCH AND GAY? faguette”

“YOU DOUBLE DIPLOMA DICKHEAD”

“he’s against killing unborn children but not living children?” “he likes to look them in the eyes when he kills them”

“[name] look at the dead 30 year old soul lingering in the eyes”

“LLLLLL RIP BOZOOOOOO BOOOOOOO NERRRDDDD BRO HAS AN INJURY LMAOOOOOO SKULL EMOJI TIMES SEVENNNNM” “i’m still taller than you in this wheelchair, boy” “not for long”

“[NAME] NO. you’re supposed to rest” “well maybe they should’ve thought of that before inventing capitalism”

“[NAME] HOW ARE YOU GUYS ALIVE?!”

“you’re like if a normal person got sliced in half and the legs grew their own new torso and head”

“unless you’re [name] but that’s only because [name] said i was making male whimpers and objectifying my pain” “YOU WERE”

“yeah that’s what i thought you sleepless beast”

“my boobies are bisexual i can use both to type but not very well unfortunately”

“GODDAMNIT IS THAT THE FUCKING TORTOISESHELL”

“[name] will you be my hillary clinton?” “yes i will consider you as my close personal friend”

“i love kaijus” “PACIFIC RIM? KAIJUS? SHAKES YOUR HAND” “YES” “YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! oh the concept of being drift compatible….” “FR!!!! YOUR BRAINS!!!! MATCH UP!!!!!! assigned soulmates at brainwave technology” “LITERALLY!!! i was so normal about it when i watched pacific rim for the first time” “PREGNANCY IS SCARY!!!!” “Y YES? YOURE ON T MAN DONT WORRY” “i wanted to join in on the brains matching up but i don’t know anything about pacific rim”

“the probability of mpreg is low… but never zero. keep that condom close and your heat suppressants even closer”

“i’m finished! has [name] survived the shame yet?” “no” “lol rip bozo” “i’m going to go live in a lake house and pretend i like kissing women”

“you are all out to get me” “yeah”

“i’m just the worst person ever, huh? should i just get pregnant and give abo birth??? i guess everyone would be so much happier if i started being heterosexual??? you all think i never do anything scrumdilly yum yum for anyone, right??? that’s fine. i’ll just do what everyone wants me to do anyways. see you in five years when i’m shaped like a lizard from eating all those carrots. i hope you’re happy now.”

“OH FUWCK YOFF AL OF YIU!!!’m! I HOPE YORUE SHOWS MAKW SQUELCHWING NOSIWS WHEN YOH WALK RHOUGH THE HALLWAYS IM GONNAQ FUCKTUNG SHIT IN TWHM”

“i thought village people invented the ymca”

“guy whose body is an enigma”

“that reminds me of when [past event]” “wait. wait what the fuck. wait”

“attacks josh hutcherson with the spirit of christmas musiAUGH FUCK”

“there’s a part of me that just wants to [plan]- HOLY SHIT THAT ACTUALLY WORKED”

“i’ve gotta catch some dudes and get my beauty rest”

“leave me alone!!! my dick is tiny and the sex is bad!!! i have stale morning breath!!!”

“my grandparents are going into a home” “that, i can promise you”

“thanks man! clutches my sleep meds tightly in my toes!!”

“PENIS MAN LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“STI (Strong Toes Institute)”

“you should send her a bag of organs”

“get spinned metal boy”

“HINGED [NAME] NOOOO sprays you with water”

“a brother, perhaps. one not by blood, but by shared sin. what does he know of our secrets, blanketed by the cover of night? why does he grin so eerily, as though mocking the monster i once was? now i am but a mere man, a hunter turned hunter. i fall prey to the evils that once lay on our tongue.”

“[name] do you know how scary it is to tell a joke and not hear my cackle echo back at me. nothing. just silence, and debussy.”

“what do you mean i am a respectable member of society right now that is not okay”

““i stole your mind” he says. just like that- this grey matter of mine is but an empty vessel, the pinky-white fluid leaking into her hull. as captain, i protect the oath i swore to her; my ship, my love, i go down with you. may gentle waves and great tides alike wash upon the shores: our bodies, together. once one, we are now two, as he thieves away the treasures. useless boon, worth not a pebble; but he knows, he knows- you are what made me complete. “i stole your mind” he says, but it is, too, my heart that he has plundered. not to keep or return with vows; nay, a single toss across the seas! it skips, once, twice, before the sandy bed lulls my boat to sleep.”

“good luck man i’m just gonna be over here feeling existential about my face not being mine. is this what it’s like to be high”

“i’ll remember something and instead of imagining a flash bang with something like “HORSE FROWN” in neon block letters popping out of the white i have to experience an emotion for longer than three seconds.”

“how i bagged my girl (snow day): PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OLEASE PLEADEPLASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE” “LET ME GET WHAT I WAAAAANNTTT” “I AM BEGGING EVERY DEITY HOLY FIGURE”

“gay man talking about bagging a girl + lesbian being a theatre major + buddhist that is only buddhist because of ethnicity and agnosticism” “THAT WAS A THE SMITHS SONG” “That Is A The Smiths Lyric” “in times of desperation humanity’s true colours shine” “[NAME] I CANT BELIEVE YOU” “the smiths have the same level of drama as a cishet theatre company so it’s fine” “damn ok”

“I WAS NOT A FUCKING DOMINATRIX FUCK YOU i just spinned people really fast on the playground until they said it ticked and was too fast and begged me to stop- wait yeah okay thats.”

“WHY ARE YOU IN BLOOD HELL??”

““be not afraid” if i saw you in the woods i would be so torn between hiding and running that i might die on the spot” “smash” “smash” “GUYS COME ON- THIS GUY???” “not that guy. the tree guy” “THAT IS THE TREE GUY” “i could make him trans”

“heh. wouldn’t you like to be liver suckled, cock boy?”

“can i trust testsigma.com?” “no” “MAN”

“ohhh now i know why you lost your nipples”

“I WILL ALTER YOUR SKIN IN WAYS THAT CANNOT BE REVERSED NOR HIDDEN. MY TOUCH WILL IMMORTALIZE ITSELF IN YOUR BONES, AND LONG AFTER WE ARE GONE, YOUR VERY ESSENCE WILL SCREAM WITH MY VOICE.”

“WE'RE FINISHING OFF WITH MY BODY MOD HOBBY???????????????????????????????????????????”

all thanks to the troop 🫡: @striderman @thevoidsflame @xansa-e03

(also PLEASE tag me or message me if you use them so my friends and i can consume it)

[gascon-en-exil]

So Who’s the Queen?: A Chess of Blades Review (Part 1)

A gay male dating sim with a recurring motif of chess references and not once are any of the guys likened to queens. How positively appalling.

That missed opportunity aside, this quick little indie visual novel caught my attention about a week ago and got me invested enough to generate two posts’ worth of discussion. Admittedly this is only the second visual novel I’ve actually played through - the first being the delightfully raunchy Coming Out on Top - but I’ve picked up a bit of other examples of the genre from fandom osmosis and watching playthroughs on YouTube so I’d like to think my reference pool is at least a little larger than that. Despite the apparent lack of a fanbase a few of my followers expressed interest in hearing what I have to say on the game, so here we are. Note that as this is one of the very rare occasions where I’m not presuming that I’m writing for an audience already familiar with my subject I’m going to do my best to avoid major plot and characterization spoilers in the event that anyone wants to check this game out on Steam. I will be talking a fair bit about the lategame sex scenes, but given the nature of Chess of Blades I don’t think anyone will be spoiled to learn that the main character gets up to an assortment of naked sweaty fun with his various love interests. This will be a review in two parts - this one covering my general thoughts on the game’s overall story, themes, and presentation, and the second one on the love interests and their individual routes.

Protagonist Rivian Varrison is a young nobleman of an unnamed kingdom modeled after a vague blend of early modern European nations. The son of a celebrated military strategist, Rivian is sent on his own to attend a week-long celebration for the king’s birthday at a remote royal castle despite his mildly antisocial tendencies and lack of familiarity with court life (and sex, because of course he’s a virgin). During his time at the castle he becomes embroiled in one of several plots by antagonistic forces that threaten to destabilize the kingdom’s foreign relations, and with the help of a collection of men who want to bone him Rivian has to avoid getting murdered, save the day, and also figure out what and who he’s going to be doing with his life once the party’s over. Oh, and there’s a quick handwave in dialogue near the beginning of the game establishing that homophobia is not a problem in this setting. Arbitrary sidestepping of serious real world obstacles, yay!

However, from my limited understanding of traditional yaoi homophobia is not often as much of a concern in the genre as might be expected, and this is one of several elements of CoB that give me the impression that, like yaoi/BL, the game is written with a female audience in mind. Rivian hits all of what I assume are defining traits of an uke intended to be identified with by a female player; he’s a waifish and inexperienced sub bottom with flowing hair and sensitive nipples, all of which come into play in some way for every sex scene. I don’t mind it though, because I just so happen to also be a waifish sub bottom who can find him quite relatable. Not the bits with hair pulling and nipple play perhaps, because I get next to nothing out of either, but I can use my imagination. Suffice it to say that CoB is clearly inspired by the conventions and dynamics of yaoi even if it isn’t always entirely beholden to them.

I wouldn’t even say it’s the sex or those particular dynamics that comprise the main draw of the game, because both the political and romantic storylines offer enough enjoyment on their own to encourage multiple playthroughs in order to see everything. It helps that the main conflict differs depending on the romantic route, and each comes with its own antagonist(s). Characters - love interests included - who act in a certain role in one route may serve an entirely different one in another, or they may not appear at all. At the heart of all the nefarious goings-on lies a shadowy organization presumably modeled after the politically divisive Jesuit order of the Catholic Church minus the religious motivations (the fact that the organization appears to be named after their founder St. Ignatius of Loyola is a dead giveaway), although there’s enough variety in the specific antagonists to allow for more than one reading of what’s really going on with all these murders and kidnappings and such. The distinct but interwoven nature of the four storylines manages to do a lot with a small cast and a compressed timeframe, and while I don’t think you’ll find anything truly groundbreaking in terms of narrative I feel like it would be rude of me to spoil the particulars.

Gameplay is...well...

...just that, really. It’s a series of fifteen or so questions with two choices each that determine which storyline and romantic route you’ll follow and then eventually whether you get the good or bad ending for that route. That’s a bit sparse even in comparison to other visual novels I’m familiar with, but it works well for what it is. The algorithm for determining the romantic route especially is less obvious than you might expect, as it’s impossible to favor one man exclusively at the expense of the others. Moreover, if you don’t favor one man to at least some degree Rivian gets murdered before the plot even gets properly started in a generic bad ending that’s almost comical in how unexpected it is.

Presentation is a bit of a mixed bag. The artwork is serviceable and even quite good at points. but there’s a fair amount of stylistic variation and the NSFW art in particular doesn’t impress me very much. The soundtrack is excellent for an indie game, with fourteen original pieces that all do a great job of matching the tone and atmosphere of the scenes. I have no complaints about the writing apart from the odd typo or awkward phrasing choice, although there are a few quirks I couldn’t help but pick up on. For instance - Rivian, all of the love interests, and several of the side characters get compared to animals at multiple points. In exactly one scenario there’s the implication that this might lead into some offscreen pet play, but aside from that it’s just a rhetorical device. Maybe Rivian is secretly a furry? The chess motif is also less prevalent than I was expecting; it’s actually more prominent in the names and icons of the game’s Steam achievements, rather than in the game itself.

Then there’s the matter of the voice acting. While I appreciate the ambition of an erotic visual novel with multiple routes having full voice acting, the execution often leaves something to be desired for a number of reasons. The most common is that the VAs affect noticeable accents for many of the characters, usually to make them sound posh and refined, and either because of inexperience or because of just how strong the accents can get some of their line reads can come across as stilted or unnaturally paced. Rivian is unfortunately one of the more notable offenders. He’s the character with whom the player is meant to identify, and yet his voice is so obviously affected that it took me some time to stop thinking of him as a parody of a nobleman designed purely as comic relief. I found his voice less distracting in major emotional scenes thankfully, although on that note I also have to point out that the sex scenes are fully voiced as well. This doesn’t help anyone on the whole, not least because of how difficult it can be to authentically vocalize getting your dick sucked or taking a cock in your tight virginal hole. Also...there are sound effects for some of the kissing and blowjob scenes, and I really wish there weren’t. In all seriousness, if you’re audibly slurping that much while doing either of those things you’re either being intentionally sloppy because your partner’s into that or you’re extremely slow on the uptake about what to do with a penis or someone else’s tongue in your mouth. I suppose I should be thankful that we’re spared tonguing sounds during the rimjob scenes or the slapping of balls on ass. It’s worth noting that the option to mute some or all of the voice acting exists, but I stuck it out because there were some performances I genuinely liked and because I was determined to get the full experience - for better or worse. 

Whether what I described above justifies the rather steep price tag for an indie visual novel (because of the voice acting, possibly?) is a personal call, but for what it’s worth I enjoyed my time with the game in spite of those shortcomings and do recommend it for fans of period M/M romance, particularly the kind you’re likely to find in Japanese properties like the ones from which CoB clearly draws inspiration. I feel like I’m getting ahead of myself, though, as this post is going to have a second part. Next time I’ll be critiquing each of the four love interests both in and out of bed, which will undoubtedly make for a fun and extremely filthy bit of writing.