angrq

[saraminia]

Baby, why don't you come over?

Red wine supernova, falling into me

Let's pick it up now

I don't care that you're a stoner

Red wine supernova, fall right into me

I like (I like) what you like (what you like)

Long hair (no bra) that's my type (that's right)

You just told me (want me to fuck you)

Baby, I will 'cause I really want to

Chappell Roan - Red Wine Supernova (Magician's Cut)

for @queenoftherodeoo

[dreamescapeswriting]

You & I ~ HHJ [Request]

⤜WORD COUNT: 1.3K

⤜PAIRING: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

⤜GENRE: idol au, you’re an idol, reaction to a cute love music video, comforting hyunjin, jealous hyunjin,

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - July 2022

⤜MASTERLIST

A/N: This came out so short i’m sorry

The music was amazing, your vocals were incredible and yet Hyunjin couldn't bring himself to focus on anything besides the fact that you were doing cute scenes with another guy. Someone that wasn't Hyunjin. Someone that wasn't your boyfriend and who many people in your comment section seemed to be shipping you with. It was insufferable to see how many people wanted you to be with some random actor that was in your music video with you. 

"My favourite part," Chan chuckled as he saw you on-screen on a swing set, stopping just in front of the male actor before kissing him softly. That was the part that hurt Hyunjin the most. The kisses that were shown on-screen which was quite uncommon for idols to do but your company seemed pretty okay with it. But Hyunjin's mind couldn't get away from the scene, the way you looked so happy and relaxed while the male lead kissed you.

The kisses that were supposed to only be made for Hyunjin and his lips and yet they weren't. They'd been completely shared with someone else, someone that wasn't your boyfriend. Hyunjin knew that this was your job, that this was what you were supposed to do for a living but he couldn't help but get jealous. He'd been streaming the Music video ever since it dropped and while you were amazing - as always - in it. He couldn't stop the feeling he got whenever he saw you getting to interact with the other actor on screen.

There were all of the cute scenes that there would usually be in music video and then there were of course some lovey scenes which he didn't want to imagine you filming. Especially when you were filming them with someone else, he couldn't help but feel jealous over it. Even a little insecure that you were getting to do all of this with someone that wasn't him. 

The two of you had been seeing one another in secret for almost a year now, nobody but you, Hyunjin and Jeongin knew of the relationship. The only reason Jeongin even knew was that he'd accidentally walked in on you both one night, it had taken bribes to stop him from telling anybody else about it. Your contract clearly stated that you weren't allowed to date anybody within the first three years of you being an idol, but with Hyunjin everything had felt so right you didn't want to risk losing him because it was "the wrong time". The two of you were supposed to be together, there was no doubt in your mind but you didn't want to wait around for time to pass.

"Hyung," Jeongin trailed off when he noticed Hyunjin's eyes hadn't moved from the screen since the music video began to play again. Chan headed out of the dorms and Jeongin bit down on his lip, he'd seen the video and he knew what Hyunjin was going to be obsessing over.

"Hyung, maybe you should go and get some sleep. You haven't slept all night," It was true, Hyunjin was trying to do what a lot of his fans and yours did for you and that was streaming as much as possible so you could get nominated for awards. He wanted the very best for you and he was going to do everything within his power to do it.

"No, not yet. I'm not tired." Besides, you were supposed to be coming over soon and he needed to at least try and be happy about all of this, to try and face you as though none of this bothered him. 

"She's worried about you Hyung, you haven't been texting her back," Ever since the video dropped you'd been trying to see what he thought of it all. You'd told him many times what scenes would be happening but you didn't know how he was going to react to it all. If he was going to hate you and it for the fact that you were kissing someone else in the video, 

"My phone died." A blatant lie since he'd just been on it scrolling through Twitter to try and see any of the other reactions coming from people. Everyone on Twitter seemed to say the same as your comment section, they thought you looked good with the dude in the music video. 

"Hey," Your voice called out as you stood behind the sofa, Hyunjin slowly glanced around to look at you and smiled brightly. It was the fakest smile you'd ever seen in your life and you let out a small sigh going to join him on the sofa. The fact that he hadn't noticed you coming into the dorms was a problem, this wasn't what you wanted when you told him your video would be coming out.

"Hyunjin.." You trailed off, your voice coming out soft as you rubbed his shoulder only he wouldn't look at you. He kept his eyes on the screen as he did his best to compliment you on everything you had done.

"It's a good video, you should be proud of yourself, I mean. Everyone seems to love it."

"Hyunjin." You said slowly, trying to get his attention away from it all. 

"I'm serious, I keep seeing all of these comments about you and the guy and how they ship you together," He continued to ramble on rather quickly about how you and the guy looked good together. It was enough to break your heart, especially since you'd been wanting him to focus on the lyrics instead of what was happening on screen. 

You moved slowly and gently cupping his chin between your finger and thumb, slowly turning his head so that he was looking you in the eyes. You could see exactly what was wrong with him when he stared back at you, he looked like he was in pain emotionally and you hated that. The last thing you ever wanted was to upset him, you thought he would understand the meaning behind the song and scenes but they had been a little different from the original dates they were based on.

"The song is about you and me." You told him softly, running your thumb along his bottom lip, he whimpered a little when he felt your skin on his. 

"The story of how I met the right person at the wrong time and I'm having to hide everything about us behind closed doors," You explained and he bit down on his lips. Feeling bad that he had been upset over a small kiss scene that you'd done. 

"I maybe...Got a little jealous," He mumbled while looking at the tv when a scene of you at a picnic happened,

"That was based on our picnic, the one we did in my apartment." You explained to him before going through every scene that had happened in the video. Each of them in some way related to things that you had done with Hyunjin in your past year of dating. 

"It was all about us," You whispered, slowly locking your fingers with his as he blushed deeply, looking at you and whimpering a little.

"I got jealous for nothing?" You nodded,

"If it makes you feel any better, he's a really...really bad kisser and I hated him, he was so rude." You mumbled as Hyunjin chuckled a little,

"Rude to you? How could anyone be rude to you?" He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, relaxing more and more the longer you stayed by his side. 

"Ugh, he was just so demanding of what was going on. Then he broke one of the plates we were supposed to be used to paint in the music video so we had to cut that scene," You rolled your eyes before going into more detail about what had happened while on the set for your music video and how you were never going to work with someone else again. Putting Hyunjin's mind at least, he smiled as he continued to watch the video with you wanting to know everything that happened on set.

tagline: @minholuvs @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @yubinism​ @ethereallino​ @aerastus​ @kimahnjung98​ @halesandy​ @hanasonmi​ @snigdha-14​

[fics-n-stuff]

A Nice Christmas

Thanks to @gayhistorynerd for the prompt, see here (I kind of deviated from it a little maybe a lot but the story still stemmed from this prompt)

Pairing: Wilhelm × Simon

Summary: Wilhelm may have denied being in the sex tape, but that doesn't mean that the world has forgotten. The Christmas break proves to be difficult for both Simon and Wilhelm, one suffering from ongoing harassment and the other feeling completely isolated, and they find that they can't help but be drawn back to each other.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: This took me so long to write because I got writer's block right after I started it. This doesn't have a super happy ending because I wanted to try and keep it pretty realistic, but it is pretty sweet and wholesome.

Taglist: @probablyprocrastinatingrightnow @rika90 @angelwilhelm

Wilhelm had never felt more alone than he did being home for Christmas break. He spent as much time as was physically possible holed up in his bedroom, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, especially not his mother. He hadn’t turned his phone on for three days, he had bitten his nails down to the nailbeds and he hardly had any appetite. The ache in his chest was constant and unyielding.

He lay in the dark most of the time, his curtains closed throughout the day and only sometimes opened at night to let the moonlight in. Besides that, he didn’t have much idea of how time was passing.

He did know that it was Christmas eve though. And it must be the morning because nobody had come to drag him out of his bedroom to join the celebrations. A cursory peek around the curtain confirmed that, as Wilhelm saw that the sun hadn’t even fully risen yet.

A deep breath settled the stone in his stomach, and he reached for his phone with a shaky hand.

When the device turned on it immediately started going crazy with notifications, and Wilhelm felt his heart rate increase with every buzz.

5 messages from August

Ignore.

10 messages from Mamma

Ignore.

2 missed calls from Felice

Wilhelm paused in swiping away the notifications. Felice had called him twice and sent him three messages. He clicked on the message notification, sitting back against the wall and holding in a breath without realising it.

Felice: Hey Wille, how are you feeling being home?

Felice: I just wanted to check in but I can’t get a hold of you, I hope you’re doing alright

Felice: You probably don’t want to talk but you can call or text me whenever you do

Wilhelm sighed. Of all the people that he thought that he could depend on, Felice was the only one that he still had. He swallowed the lump in his throat and called her back.

It rang for a while before she answered, and he’d almost decided to hang up the call when it stopped ringing.

“Wille, good morning.” Felice greeted, cheerful but clearly tired. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, merry Christmas Felice.” Wilhelm replied feebly. His voice was hoarse from disuse.

“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about something?”

“Uhm, I- I don’t know, I just... I don’t know.” He stuttered, wrapping his free arm around himself.

“Okay, well, what are your plans for today?”

“I’m not sure, I haven’t really been talking to anyone. What, uh, what are your plans?”

“Oh, you know, just the usual. We’ll watch Kalle Anka's Jul and play some games before dinner, then we’ll open presents.” She explained. The tinny sound of her voice through the phone was actually quite calming.

“What about for the rest of the break?”

“Um, I’m going to New York to see Maddie for New Year, so that’ll be fun. And I’m going back to Bjärstad on Boxing Day to see Sara. I’m gonna stay there just for one night.”

“So you’ve been talking to Sara a lot then?” Wilhelm questioned, moving to bite at his almost non-existent nails.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Has she said anything about Simon? Do you know if he’s alright?” His words came out more rushed than he had intended. Clearly, he was more eager for some sort of information on Simon than he had thought.

“Um, she hasn’t said much but I think he’s pretty okay.” Felice replied, but it was followed by a small sigh that let Wilhelm know that there was more to the story. “Sara says that things have mostly gone back to normal, but Simon goes out a lot less and she’s had to make her Instagram private. I think they’ve had a few people show up at their house.”

Wilhelm swallowed hard, a feeling of guilt crawling under his skin. Simon’s Instagram account had been private ever since the video had been leaked, so it seemed that now people had found Sara’s too. They had attention on them that they had never signed up for, and Wilhelm knew that it was his fault and he felt terrible for that.

“Okay.” He replied shakily. There was a short silence before Felice spoke again.

“How are you, Wilhelm? Really?” She asked.

“Lonely.” He answered. “Listen, I have to go. I need to take a shower before someone comes demanding that I take part in the Christmas celebrations.”

“Alright well, call me back whenever, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Bye, Felice.”

“Bye, Wille. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Wilhelm ran a hand over his face, letting out a groan of frustration and sadness. Why couldn’t he just be a normal kid?

He stared down at his phone in his lap, gnawing at the nail of his right thumb in contemplation. With a shaking breath and trembling fingers, he picked it back up, opened his conversation with Simon and typed a short message. He dropped his phone in mild panic as soon as he hit send, and rubbed his hand over his chest as he took a deep, steadying breath.

+ + +

“Simon, wake up. Rosh and Ayub will be here soon.” Sara’s voice stirred Simon from his sleep and he rolled over to look at her. She was already dressed.

“What time is it?” He asked with a yawn.

“Nine o’clock. Get up and come help with breakfast.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting up.”

Sara rolled her eyes and left the room, and Simon reached out to his bedside table blindly until his hand landed on his phone. He squinted at the screen as he sat up, faltering when he saw the notification on the screen.

Wilhelm: Merry Christmas Simon

He felt his heart race as he stared at the screen, only snapping out of it when he heard Sara shouting at him from downstairs. He blinked, dropped his phone and set about getting dressed.

Every Christmas eve since they were ten, Simon, Sara, Rosh and Ayub would have breakfast together and then go for a long walk. It was tradition for them at this point, but Simon found himself unable to feel excited for it this year. It was all well and good to pretend like life was going on as normal, but it was hard not to feel uncomfortable when people stared at him everywhere he went.

Rosh and Ayub arrived just as he and Sara were finishing up making breakfast, and they exchanged Christmas well-wishes as they sat down to eat.

“You’re being real quiet over there, Simme. You alright?” Ayub asked after a while, and Simon realised that he’d been completely zoned out.

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“About Wilhelm?” Sara questioned. Simon pushed a bite of food into his mouth and shrugged.

“You have to move on, Simon.” Rosh said. “I know you care about him but he’s not worth all the trouble that he comes with.”

“I know. That’s why I ended things.” He replied. “It still sucks though.”

“You’ll get over him eventually.” Sara told him, putting a comforting hand on his for a few seconds before going back to her food. Simon smiled slightly.

He didn’t tell them about the text.

Despite all of that, he was in high spirits when they set out for their walk, happily joking and laughing with his friends, and they made it half an hour before he heard the first comment.

“That’s the guy from the sex tape.” Muttered a girl to her friend as they passed, and Simon felt the smile fall from his face.

“Just ignore them.” Sara told him, wrapping an arm around one of his. He nodded, but it had gotten to him. For the rest of their walk from that point, Simon felt like every person that they passed was looking at him and judging him.

They walked both Rosh and Ayub back to their houses before heading back to theirs just a bit past noon. They had almost gotten home when they were approached by a group of teenagers probably slightly younger than them.

“Are you the guy from that viral sex tape?” One of the boys asked unabashedly, the group coming right up in front of Simon and Sara and blocking their path.

“Uh, I don’t want to talk about that.” Simon replied stiffly, still trying to be polite.

“Oh my god, it is him!” A girl exclaimed.

“Was it actually the crown prince in the video?” Another chimed. Simon felt lightheaded.

“He already said that it wasn’t.” He deflected, trying to sidestep the group.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people that don’t actually believe him.” The girl laughed; actually laughed, as if this hadn’t been an earth shattering event for Simon.

“If it wasn’t Prince Wilhelm then who was it in the video?” A boy asked, and that was when Simon spotted the phone filming him and his stomach dropped.

“I’m not discussing my sex life with a bunch of strangers.” He scoffed in disbelief, shouldering his way past the group with Sara close behind him. “Please leave me alone.”

“You could just tell us if it was actually the prince or not.” One of them pressed, the group now following after Simon. “If it wasn’t him then you don’t have anything to hide.”

“Oh my god, did the royal family pay you off? Did they make you sign an NDA!?”

“Were you, like, boyfriends? Or was it just a hookup?”

Simon kept walking, keeping his head down and not answering any of the questions being hurled at him. He could sense that Sara was just as tense beside him. The group followed them for a full block before Simon finally lost his cool and came to a dead stop, turning to face them.

“I’m not going to answer your questions. The fact that you’re following me is not going to make me answer your questions. I’ve had my privacy majorly invaded once already and now you’re invading it again. I’m trying to enjoy Christmas with my sister and you’re chasing me with a camera, I’m sick of people harassing me.” He fumed, making sure to meet the eye of every one of them at some point. “Whatever you choose to believe is not my problem. It doesn’t matter whether you think that the crown prince is telling the truth or you choose to make up some type of theory, I deserve my privacy.”

He didn’t wait for any type of response before he turned around and walked away, thankful to find that they weren’t going to follow him anymore.

“You handled that well.” Sara said quietly once they had turned the next corner. Simon didn’t reply.

When they got home, he went straight upstairs without a word. He slammed his bedroom door shut and buried his face in his pillow, unable to hold the tears back any longer.

By that same evening, the video was viral.

+ + +

I bet that girl was right and the royal family made him sign an NDA

If he didn’t want people to think it was the prince he would have just said that it wasn’t so either the prince was lying or this guy is seeking attention

He’s literally a kid why can’t people just leave him alone??

I don’t care if it was the prince in the tape or not, this guy is hot

The way he said that people are making up theories makes me think that it actually wasn’t the prince in the video

I feel bad for this guy, getting followed around like that must suck

Wilhelm scrolled through the captions and comments on the seemingly endless posts of the video of Simon, feeling like somebody had a vice grip on his heart.

The first time he saw the video had been right after Christmas Eve dinner. He’d had a full blown panic attack and locked himself in the bathroom for half an hour. When he came out, his mother had tried to talk to him about the politics of the situation and he had immediately retreated into his bedroom once again. He missed Erik desperately.

He hadn’t been able to sleep, he'd only gotten about three hours of broken, fitful sleep all night, and now he couldn’t pry himself away from his phone. He knew that it was bad for him, he knew that it was making him feel terrible, but he wanted to know what people were saying.

He had been hesitant to text Simon, especially since he hadn’t received a reply to the merry Christmas text that he had sent in the morning, but in the end he mustered the courage to reach out. He had asked how Simon was doing and apologised for getting him into this situation. He wasn’t surprised when no answer came.

Christmas day was proving to be probably the worst day of Christmas break for Wilhelm. His chest felt like it was bursting open and like it was an empty chasm at the same time. He didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, he didn’t respond to the knocks that came at his door. He felt like he was trapped in a glass box and someone was shaking it.

Wilhelm didn’t know how long he had been scrolling through multiple different social media platforms when his phone buzzed in his hand and an incoming call appeared on the screen. He faltered, sitting up and almost dropping his phone, when he saw that it was Simon. He ran a nervous hand through his hair as he raised the phone to his ear.

“Simon?” He croaked.

“Hi, Wilhelm.” The reply came through the phone, and Wilhelm felt his shoulders relax at the sound of Simon’s voice.

“Hi. H-how are you.” He fumbled, and Simon sighed on the other end.

“I’m okay, I guess. As okay as I can be after... well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”

“This wasn’t your fault, Wille.” Simon muttered. “I just wish things were different.”

“Why, um... why did you call?” Wilhelm asked. There was a short stretch of silence that rung in his ears before Simon answered.

“I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.” He confessed, and Wilhelm couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled at his lips. “Honestly, I was kind of surprised that you didn’t delete my number or something.”

“Why would I have done that?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought that you weren’t supposed to have any ties with me since you said that it wasn’t you in the video.” Wilhelm winced at that.

“It's not like my contacts list is available to the public.” He replied, trying to keep his tone light. “I’m not gonna let that kind of thing get in my head again.”

“Is your mum mad?” Simon asked, and now it was Wilhelm’s turn to sigh.

“I’m not sure, I kind of shut myself in my room so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her.” He answered tiredly. “How is your family?”

“Uh, shaken. Sara’s off in her own world with her sketchbooks and mamá can’t go for more than an hour without checking on us both, but we’re handling it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

There was a silence again. Wilhelm ran his hand across his leg, back and forth in a soothing motion, not sure what he should say but not wanting the conversation to finish. In the end, Simon spoke first.

“Did you mean it, what you said before you left for the break?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, I did.” Wilhelm answered without hesitation. “I know it wasn’t a good time to say it, and you probably didn’t want to hear it, but I just had to say it out loud. At least once.”

Silence again. Wilhelm heard Simon sigh, and pursed his lips nervously.

“I miss you.” Simon said.

“I miss you too.” Wilhelm replied with a nervous yet relieved chuckle. “I miss you a lot.”

Another pause.

“Where do we go from here, Wille?” Simon whispered.

“I don’t know.” Wilhelm mumbled. “But I... I want to fix this. Or at least just try to fix it. You don’t deserve to be harassed like this, and it’s my fault and I feel terrible.”

“It’s not your fault.” Simon reassured with a sigh. “It was everything else. We still didn’t do anything wrong, and that includes you.”

“No, I did. I promised we would be in this together and I broke that promise.”

“I understand why you did it. And I’m not mad at you. Honestly, having thought about it, you probably made the best decision for my sake too. I mean, I’m getting harassed enough as it is already. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you had told the truth.”

“I’m still sorry anyway.” Wilhelm said softly, and Simon chuckled. “So, um, Felice told me she was visiting Bjärstad tomorrow.”

“Yeah, her and Sara have gotten close. It’s nice, you know, that Sara’s made friends. And Felice is cool.”

“Yeah, she’s great.”

There was silence again, and Wilhelm bit at his nails thinking that Simon was done with the conversation.

“Are you alright, Wille?” Simon asked after a while. “I know this is your first Christmas without Erik, and I guess things with your mum might be a little... well, I just hope you’re okay.”

Wilhelm swallowed. He could lie, pretend he was fine and wave away Simon’s concerns, but he knew the lie probably wouldn’t hold up. Or he could tell the truth and admit how painfully lonely he was, how much he hated being home because the palace felt empty without Erik and how much he longed to be with Simon with every fibre of his being.

“I’m coping.” He sighed, settling for a middle ground of vagueness. “It’s lonely here. The ceilings feel too high.”

“Have you had stuff to do?”

“No, not really. I haven’t really been in the mood for Christmas, but I guess none of us are particularly festive this year anyway.”

“Would you - I mean, if you would even be allowed to, but maybe if you could – would you want to come down here for a day?” Simon asked, and Wilhelm could just picture him fidgeting nervously as he stumbled over his words. The image brought a smile to his face.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He answered softly. “I’ll try and convince my parents.”

+ + +

Going to Simon’s house had been an absolute no go with his parents. “Just too risky” his mother had said. However, with enough persistence, he managed to wear them down to a compromise.

That was how he ended up in a car on his way back to Hillerska the day after Boxing Day. While Simon’s house had been absolutely off the table, it would be easy enough to get back to Hillerska without being seen. The only people who were there during the break were security and the people who came to take care of the horses.

He had been worried at first that the inconvenience of it would make Simon not want to bother, but when he texted to ask if it was okay he had been met with a quick agreement.

A security guard unlocked the door for him when they arrived, sworn to secrecy of course, and he headed up to his room to wait. He didn’t realise he was biting his nails until there was a knock at the door and he was knocked out of his anxious thoughts.

The door opened slowly, and Wilhelm felt like all of the air was knocked out of his body when he saw Simon step inside, dressed in his beloved purple hoodie under the coat that he took off and draped over the back of a chair that was within reach. The door clicked shut behind him, and silence hung in the air.

“Hey.” Simon greeted finally, and Wilhelm took a deep breath as if he was just remembering how to breathe at all.

“Hey.” He echoed. “How are you?”

“Better.” Simon nodded. “Did you get into a fight with your parents?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Wilhelm muttered. “It’s fine though.”

Simon crossed the room and took a seat beside Wilhelm on the edge of the bed, a good few inches of space between them. It felt like miles.

“You look tired.” Simon commented.

“I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.” Wilhelm replied weakly, eyes downcast, fidgeting with his hands. “I get that way sometimes. It’s fine.”

“Is it?”

He looked over to find Simon watching him, and he practically crumbled under his gaze. He took a very unsteady breath and shook his head.

“No, it sucks.” He mumbled. His hand drifted back up to his mouth and he gnawed on the nail of his thumb nervously.

“Wille, you’re bleeding.” Simon said, gently grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away from his mouth. Wilhelm looked down at his thumb and saw a bit of blood pooling in the side of the nailbed, becoming aware of the taste of it on his tongue.

“Oh, I didn’t notice.”

“How much have you been biting your nails?” Simon questioned, pulling Wilhelm’s hand towards him to get a look at them. Every nail was jagged and uneven, bitten down to stubs. The skin around them had been bitten at too.

“I don’t know, I do it without realising.” Wilhelm shrugged. “Probably a lot.” He resisted the urge to curl his fingers around Simon’s hand and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

“You shouldn’t have to bottle everything in, you’re destroying yourself.” Simon murmured.

“I don’t have anyone to talk to.” Wilhelm’s voice broke halfway through his sentence, a single tear managing to fight its way from his eye. “I used to be able to talk to Erik about at least some of it but now he’s gone and I don’t have anyone, and sometimes it feels like the ground is falling out from under me and I just don’t know what to do.”

He didn’t notice that he was hyperventilating until Simon pulled him into his arms. Wilhelm’s chest was tight, rising and falling rapidly against Simon’s body. Simon's arms were wrapped around him tightly, and Wilhelm was suddenly overwhelmed with how much he had been craving a hug as his hands grasped at the back of Simon’s hoodie and he hid his face in the crook of Simon’s neck.

Wilhelm had always been told not to cry. Ever since he was a child, whenever he began to cry he was told to stop. The seed had planted itself in him when he was very young, but the fear of letting himself cry didn’t truly grow until he once saw an article in a tabloid. He was barely eleven and he had fallen and hurt himself at an event. He had hardly cried, just a few tears and red cheeks, but the tabloid had had plenty to say about it. He hadn’t let himself properly cry since, except for when Erik died. Even then, he had waited until he was completely alone before he let his weakness show. But now, with Simon, he felt an overwhelming need to let his tears fall.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into Simon’s shoulder. He could feel the tears coming out of his eyes but they weren’t falling down his face, instead absorbing into the fabric of Simon’s hoodie.

“It’s okay.” Simon soothed, a hand moving up to stroke over the Wilhelm’s hair.

“I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a prince.”

“I know.”

“I just wanted to feel normal. Just for once.” Wilhelm said through his tears. “You made me feel normal.”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, sympathetic. He loosened his hold on Wilhelm and leaned back, sliding the hand that was on the back of Wilhelm’s head forward to rest against his cheek.

“You made me feel normal too.” He replied softly. “At school I was a social outcast because I’m not rich, and at home I have to take care of my mom and Sara. When I was with you, I didn’t feel like I had to take care of anyone or watch where I was stepping. Well, except that one night.” Wilhelm huffed a slight laugh at the comment, lifting a hand to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. “I’ve never seen you cry before.” Simon commented.

“I’m not supposed to.” Wilhelm replied with an awkward chuckle, his head tipping forward in embarrassment. Simon sighed through his nose and lightly touched his forehead to Wilhelm’s.

“You have to cry sometimes, Wille. Everyone cries.”

“I’m not supposed to be everyone.”

“Okay, but sometimes you need to stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be.” Simon told him. “I know you know that.”

Wilhelm took a deep breath. This close to Simon’s face, he could feel his breathing too. He wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if that would be okay. He nodded slightly, covering Simon’s hand on his cheek with his own.

“Yeah.” He breathed.

When Simon leaned forward and connected their lips Wilhelm responded automatically, though it took his brain a few seconds to catch up. Once his brain did catch up, his hand took hold of the back of Simon’s neck and pulled him impossibly closer, holding onto this moment like it was his last. Maybe it would be the last time he got to kiss Simon; he couldn’t know. He hoped it wouldn’t be.

“Thanks for coming to see me.” Simon said when they broke apart.

“Thanks for wanting to see me at all.” Wilhelm replied. “I really missed you.”

Simon hummed, a faint smile playing at his lips. He watched Wilhelm for a few moments before kicking off his shoes.

“Come here.” He said, shuffling over the bed towards the wall. Wilhelm followed suit and allowed himself to be guided down to a lying position, Simon’s chest against his back and arm around his waist. “You need to sleep.”

“It’s the middle of the day.” Wilhelm protested, weak as the protest may have been.

“People have naps all the time, and you know that you need it.” Simon said firmly, adjusting the pillow under his head with his free arm and finding Wilhelm's hand to hold in the other. “It doesn’t have to be for long, okay?”

“Okay.” Wilhelm nodded, feeling suddenly very relaxed. He took a deep breath settling into the comfort and warmth of Simon’s body around his as his eyes fell shut. “This is nice.” He mumbled after a while.

“Yeah.” Simon agreed softly. “Go to sleep, Wille.”

It wasn’t long until he felt Wilhelm’s breathing change, signifying that he had fallen asleep. He smiled, fondly but with an edge of sadness to it, and pressed a light kiss to Wilhelm’s shoulder before closing his own eyes. They would deal with the rest of the world when they woke up.

[putschki1969]

Hi puts, I just saw Keiko mv “toori ame” yesterday. It’s so beautiful, can’t wait for her 2nd album ^^. But she will be released full mv on her channel or full mv is on her DVD/CD ?!. Of course, even though she won’t release full mv, I always support her for the best ^^.

Hello there!

Yesssss! I love Tōri Ame SO MUCH. Been listening to it on repeat ever since Tuesday. The MV does indeed look gorgeous, I really adore how they are playing with light and shadow. Plus, the somber setting fits the tragic sound of the melody and her singing perfectly.

Funny coincidence that you would ask about this (or maybe not a coincidence at all?) The other day I actually posted a reply under the MV because I kept seeing a stubborn person trying to spread straight-up lies. By now I am convinced that this person is a troll because there is no other way someone would be THIS adamant about sharing wrong information with gullible fans. You probably saw this as well...?

Everyone, please be careful when encountering unsourced information like that, don't believe random people in YouTube comment sections talking shit out of their arses when it is quite obvious that they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.

Now here are some facts 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

The short MV for "Nobody Knows You" as well as the one for "Tōri Ame" have a very unnatural looking fade-out instead of a proper ending. For everyone with at least one decently functional eye it should be pretty obvious that both videos continue after the point where they made the cut for these promo releases.

Let's also take a look at this from a logical point of view, shall we? Making MVs is cost-intensive. While both MVs look like they have a rather simple and “cheap” production, you still need at least a small crew and a lot of time to get something like this done. Based on economic reasons alone, they wouldn't invest into all this stuff and put so much effort into it just to shoot a third of the MV and not the whole thing. Following this line of reasoning, it would make no sense at all to shoot a full video and not eventually release it in some shape or form.

The description for the DVD/BD content of KEIKO's 2nd album literally contains "Nobody Knows You and others (yet to be decided)". Quite clearly they are referring to the MV here. The album description in various online stores confirms this by explicitly listing it as "MUSIC VIDEO". When they released this information, the short MV for "Tōri Ame" had not been published yet so naturally, they wouldn't mention it. But it would make sense to include that as well. Now of course they are not saying whether they will be adding a short or a full version of the MVs but typically, bonus DVDs/BDs contain FULL MVs. After all, you are paying a lot of extra money for the album with an added video disc so the content better be worth it.

This would also explain why they are choosing not to release the full MVs on YouTube (yet). If they are already available for free, it is less likely that people will pay additional money to get these videos with the album. That's Marketing 101.

So yeah, that's everything I've got for you. Make of this whatever you will. I am not saying there is a 100% chance that we will get the full MVs on the bonus DVD/BD. KEIKO's agency have made some very questionable decisions in the past so I am not ruling out that they will f**k up this release as well. It's quite possible that they only did a half-arsed job making those MVs and would have the audacity to sell super overpriced albums with mediocre bonus content. However, taking the above points into consideration, I believe it is more likely that we will get the full PVs as bonus feature. Sometime after the release, they might even publish these videos on YouTube, who knows.

I encourage EVERYONE to preorder a copy of KEIKO's album. Feel free to wait until they release more details regarding the contents. No need to preorder the album this early in advance but it IS IMPORTANT that you SUPPORT KEIKO in any way you can. I recommend getting the album with the bonus DVD since it has a reasonable price (unike the LE which is WAY TOO expensive - I’ll still get it tough :P). Overseas fans can buy the album on CDJapan (or Amazon.co.jp or HMV). These stores ship worldwide or at least to a wide variety of countries all across the world.

[purpleyellow]

Firsts

BTS 8th member

Sunny’s masterlist

“Sunny’s first time shooting a mv”

a/n: Here is some fetus Sunny nobody asked for. Your opinion is very important for me, send feedback and requests anytime 💜 Also, don’t be shy and interact a little, ask box is always open

When Sunny first dreamed about being in a music video set, a room filled with ripped newspapers and an empty bed frame wasn’t exactly what she had in mind, yet the sentimental value it held was more than she could describe.  

The story presented to her as well as the little details everyone had thought about when coming up with the idea for the “I need U” music video was fascinating, plus everyone’s hard work when making the album made her want to do a great job even more.

“Sunny, come over here please” One of the directors called her to where Jungkook was just done doing a small interview for their behind the scenes video “Give us a little piece of your mind right now,” He said once she got to where they were and the cameraman focused on her.

Staring at the lens a little frozen, the girl hummed while looking around, trying to come up with something to say, Jungkook who had walked a little to the side to make room for her laughed at her lost expression.

“Just say what you’re hopping for today, if you say something dumb they’ll just edit it out” He smiled shyly at her and walked to where Taehyung was standing, the three of them being the only members on that set.

“I’m really excited to see how the video will turn out, though I’m a little nervous since it’s my first time. I’ll do my best so it doesn’t show off on the final product” Sunny talked slowly while swaying on her feet “I hope it gets well received by fans and they enjoy it as well” Finishing it off with a smile she looked at the director who gave her a thumbs up.

“It is a little nerve-wracking not to have dance portions because we’ll have to rely on acting for all of it” The girl caught the end of Jungkook’s sentence as she approached the two boys on the side.

“Hey, did you see your set already?” Taehyung asked when he saw her getting closer, gently draping an arm over her shoulder to show support.

“Yes, they showed me when giving instructions,” She said looking around the empty building they were on, her eyes landing on the hallway the room they had set up for her was at “Oh, we have a scene together”

“Yeah, they told me about it” He smiled at her and squeezed her tense shoulders “I’ll walk along the hallway when you suddenly open a door on my left right?” 

Nodding to him, Sunny swallowed dryly, if everything went right and people liked her enough not to demand kicking her out, that scene would forever be marked as her permanently joining the group. Something she really wanted to happen after getting used to the group of seven boys.

“Shooting music videos is always exciting” Jungkook commented bouncing on his heels and looking at a random wall “You’ll get addicted to it, just wait and see”  

“I’ve always wanted to do it” Sunny smiled looking at her hands, she was determined to do her best, even if she didn’t have much idea of what her best was.

Walking closer to them, one of the staff members told her to go stand on her spot, so they could shoot her scenes first. The two boys followed along so they could watch from the director’s screen and give her some encouragement.

“Okay, those scenes were perfect” The director called out to her after giving two distinctive commands “Now, it might be a stretch, but do you think you can cry?”

“Cry?” Sunny asked him with wide eyes and instantly thought of a hundred sad things that could get her to start bawling.

“Well, just shed a tear. We’ll get a scene of Jin with a tear sliding down his face and it would be awesome if we could do a parallel shot with you doing the same” 

“I can try, sure” The girl closed her eyes and focused a little, her thought process getting broken by Jungkook’s voice coming from behind the cameraman.

“Think about your dead puppy,” He said out loud and Tahyung joined him.

“Yeah, the one you raised during childhood but he got drastically killed by a drunk driver”

“What are you talking about?” The girl opened her eyes frowning “I never a pet in my life, not even a dog”

“Wow, that’s something to cry about,” V said genuinely shocked and the girl giggled at his judging eyes “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be crying not laughing”

“Oh, right, sorry” She closed her eyes again taking a deep breath and mentally chanting, tears, tears, tears. 

“Do you think she’s thinking about something sadder than not having a pet?” Jungkook whispered to the oldest who nodded.

“She can’t miss what she never had” He shook his head and placed a hand on his shoulders.

It didn’t take long for Sunny to open her eyes again, trying not to blink as she felt a tear on her right eye, it seemed like a strange miracle that it happened so quickly, but she just presumed it was her mind’s pressure who did the trick.

“Wow, she’s good,” Taehyung whispered as the tear slid down as soon as the director yelled action. “Truly a natural”

“Totally not because of the basic acting tips that were given to us” JK suppressed a laugh at his Hyung’s concentrated face.

Walking closer to the girl, the makeup artist touched up the foundation she had applied and Sunny got up from the ground where she was sitting. Walking back to the monitor to check on how things had turned out.

“You look sad,” Tahyung pointed out the obvious, making her smile from the comment while looking at the footage.

“You know, if you hadn’t done it, we could have used eye drops,” The director said and the girl sighed, feeling a little relieved he hadn’t brought that up before she gave it a try.

“At least now I know I can do it”

[agentunwin]

Why [Popstar!Y/N x Shawn Mendes] [Part 2]

A/N: [REQUESTS ARE OPEN!] This chap. is written in 3rd person! It’s also just fluff lmao. Woops

Prompt: After the hitting it off at the photo shoot, Shawn keeps his promise and shows you around his favorite places in Toronto. [Based off Shawn’s song Why].

Words: 2,459

Warnings: Cursing

Tag: @yourwonderbelle

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4*

-

A knocking at the hotel room door caused Y/N to stir, groaning loudly into her pillow. Her hands blindly felt around for her phone. When she finally found it, her tired eyes roamed over the texts she’d missed, a small smile playing on her lips.

From: Shawn

hey, this is shawn! noel gave me ur #

what kind of coffee do u like?

hello??

Y/N chuckled to herself, thinking of how nice it would be to get texts from him every morning. But she was getting too ahead of herself. 

The knocking occurred again, finally catching her full attention. With a sigh she climbed out of bed and to the door, swinging it open, expecting to see Noel or her bodyguard. 

Instead, there Shawn stood, and her cheeks went bright red. He stood in his sweatpants and jean jacket, hair curly and wild, and Y/N wondered how someone could look so perfect so early in the morning. Meanwhile, she stood in front of him with only a t-shirt and panties, her hair looking like she just completed the walk of shame.

In his hand was a cardboard cup tray with all 4 of the holes holding 4 different drinks. He smiled at the girl bashfully, “Hey, your bodyguard let me up. And uh, you didn’t respond to my texts, so I just bought 4 different coffees for you to pick from..”

All she could do was giggle, holding her burning face in her hands. “Come in, I’m so sorry I’m only just waking up.”

“It’s cool, I just wanted to come by a little early so we’d have a lot of time later.” Shawn assured her, placing the coffees on the table. “When do you leave, by the way?”

“Tomorrow morning.” Y/N frowned, suddenly feeling uncomfortable standing in front of him, practically bare. She crossed her arms over her chest for a little bit of decency and Shawn noticed this, his own face going beet red.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry, Y/N!” He raised his hands, turning around to face the window. “I didn’t even notice you weren’t dressed. I’ll leave and come back if you want me to?”

“It’s okay, Shawn.” She shook her head, bending down to gather clothes from her suitcase, “I’m going to go get ready, and we can leave when I come out.”

-

Y/N grabbed the coffee cup she’d chosen from Shawn, bringing it to her lips, taking a sip, and leaving a noticeable ring of lipstick in its wake. Shawn, across the small cafe table, was busy pouring an excess amount of sweetener into his own cup, cursing to himself when he finally gave up on trying to change it.

“This is nice,” Y/N spoke, looking around the breakfast spot he’d guided her to first. It wasn’t crowded and they sat on the outside patio facing the street, peacefully watching the cars and people go by. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Not really, but it is one of my favorites.” He smiled, nodding his head as he leaned his arms on the table. “I wish I could come more, but people start noticing where you go, ya’know? So now, it’s more of a special occasion place.”

Y/N hummed in agreement, her fingers lightly circling the rim of her coffee cup. “Well in that case, I’m honored.”

Shawn gave the girl a weepish smile and, as it had been all morning, she felt her heart melting at the looks he gave her. The waitress came to the table carrying a tray of their food and set their respective orders in front of the two.

“This looks so good, oh my god.” Y/N moaned to herself, taking out her phone. She wasn’t one to take pictures of her food, but this time, she couldn’t help it. The pancakes were perfectly brown and covered in strawberries and powdered sugar. Shawn, on the other hand, settled for french toast and eggs.

“So,” She began, picking up her fork and turning her attention back to him, “Tell me about yourself!”

“Not much to say.” Shawn shrugged, averting his gaze from hers.

“Oh, come on.” Y/N rolled her eyes, pausing to stuff her mouth with a strawberry. “Don’t get boring on me now. Tell me everything.”

He laughed and grabbed a napkin to clean his lips, licking them over before he began speaking again. “Well, I was born here in Toronto, raised about an hour out, though. I never really wanted to be a singer when I grew up but then I saw Youtube videos of people playing guitar and it captivated me. I got one and taught myself how to play and my career really took off when I started posting videos on Vine.”

Y/N shook her head, smiling as the boy went on and on about his life and journey. There were a few times he would go on off topic tangents and tell stories about tours or his friends, and the passion in his voice only further enthralled the girl.

“What about you?” Shawn suddenly asked, taking her off guard when she realized she’d been daydreaming.

She cleared her throat in embarrassment, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Where are you from?” He pressed further just as his phone dinged with a message. Y/N didn’t begin speaking, concerned that the message may have been important. Shawn brought his phone to his face and read over the message, internally groaning.

From: Geoff

Idk what u think ur doing and i wont question you, but pics are already online of u two. be careful

“Is everything okay?” She spoke up as he set his phone back down. 

Shawn nodded quickly, but she could tell that something was off about him. “My friend says there’s already pictures of us. We haven’t even been here for an hour yet, that’s crazy.”

Y/N shrugged nonchalantly, pushing her empty plate to the side. “Oh well. It’s not a big deal.”

“People will assume, though..”

“Isn’t the idea of dating me so horrifying?” She quipped sarcastically, making him laugh loudly. “Kidding, but seriously, who cares. People will always assume, we shouldn’t care so much about what they think.”

Shawn pondered for a moment over her words, a comfortable silence falling over the two. He then nodded extremely exaggerated, gathering his trash and piling it onto the plate.

“You’re completely right. Are you ready to go?”

-

“You play any instruments?” Shawn inquired, turning onto some street as the two made their way to, possibly, the last destination of the night.

The sun hadn’t begun to set yet, but it was nearing 5:00, and Shawn insisted that whatever he had planned next would take up the rest of the night.

The time before that was spent walking around the streets of Toronto as he gave her a tour, not missing a single spot. Then, they were on their way to a mall where they’d spent hours shopping together, bonding when she’d embarrassingly dragged him into Victoria’s Secret and he dragged her into every single jewelry store to check out their rings and watches. They also sat at the food court for a long time, and miraculously, nobody had come up to ask for pictures or bother the two. However, this didn’t mean they didn’t spot the paparazzi trying to be sneaky and snap pictures from afar.

Neither of them let it bother them, though.

“No..” Y/N responded, leaning back in the seat as he handed her the aux cord. “But I’ve always wanted to learn how to play guitar.”

“So why haven’t you?” 

She shrugged and bit her lip as her own song began playing over the speakers. “I don’t know, I keep making excuses. I don’t have a guitar, I don’t have time, bla bla.”

Shawn remains silent and she shuts her eyes as he continues down the road.

After 30 minutes he finally pulls into a parking space. When he looks over, he’s not surprised to see Y/N napping peacefully, her head resting on her shoulder. He bites his lip and pulls out his phone, snapping a quick picture of her, flinching hard when he realized the flash was on.

He cursed under his breath when she stirred awake, rubbing at her tired eyes. “What was that?”

“I don’t know!” He said quickly, rubbing the back of his head nervously. “I- Uh- We’re here.. It’s just a small walk.”

She sniffed and nodded, slapping her cheeks a few times to wake herself up. They exited the car together and for the first time that day, they’re approached.

It’s a big group of fans, mostly for Shawn, but some for Y/N. They bombard the two with questions, however none of them asked if they were dating, which they were grateful for. 

Y/N and Shawn were there for a good 20 minutes, taking pictures and talking with fans. A lot of Shawn fans would come up to her and ask about him- What he’s like, what kind of music he listens to, and other things. To which she could only reply by saying “He’s nice” and “I don’t know, I’ve only known him for a day.”

Eventually Shawn was able to ward them off and the two of you were alone again. He popped the trunk to his SUV and got out a large guitar case and a bag. Y/N cocked her head at him but he only motioned for her to follow him.

It was then that she realized where they were; A beach. Now, the sun was beginning to make its descent, casting a beautiful golden glow over the sand. There weren’t many people there- Some were fans from earlier, keeping their distance and watching the two from a respectable distance. And, of course, paps kept their distance as well.

Shawn guided Y/N to the most secluded area he could spot, closer to where the water reached. 

“Can you lay out these towels?” He asked, handing her the bag from earlier. She nodded as he set down his guitar case and got to work on whatever he was doing. Grabbing the towels, she set them down next to one another, placing them in close proximity on purpose.

That wasn’t all that was at the bottom of the bag, however. You reached further and pulled out a container of shortcake cups, a can of whipped cream, wine glasses wrapped in tissue, and a bottle of too-expensive champagne.

“You really went all out.” She commented, settling herself on her towel.

“Only the best for my newest friend.” He smiled, though this time, it didn’t seem convincing even to himself.

He popped the champagne open and Y/N unwrapped one of the wine glasses, reaching it out for him to pour some in. She hummed in appreciation and watched as Shawn clumsily made a hole in the sand to place the bottle in.

He then reached for his guitar, sighing and placing it on his lap. His skilled fingers began to move expertly over the strings, playing a beautiful melody. Y/N merely watched and admired, a beautiful grin on her face.

She was caught off guard when the boy suddenly stopped and pushed the guitar her way. 

He chuckled and insisted, grabbing the glass from her hand and replacing it with his guitar. “I’ll help you, come on.”

With a groan, she gives in, letting him do whatever he wanted. He smiles lazily as he moved her fingers into different positions, explaining the different notes and how to get the best sounds out of them. 

After about 2 hours he’d finally managed to teach her the melody he was playing earlier, a clip from one of his songs. Neither of them could deny the spark that flew every time he touched her or the tingle that shot down their spines when the other spoke.

The rest of the night was spent in comfortable silence, listening to music, eating shortcakes, and drinking champagne. The two were sprawled out on the towels, however, managed to still keep their distance.

Y/N must have been even more tired than she thought, as her eyes fell, and they didn’t open again until Shawn was gently tapping her once again, jolting her awake.

And all of a sudden, she was back in the truck.

“Hey, sleepy head.” He chuckled, walking around to her side of the truck and opening her door. “You fell asleep at the beach. We’re back at the hotel now.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry..” Y/N groaned, sitting up and willing herself to hop out of the car. “Thanks for carrying me, though, you didn’t have to do that..”

“It’s the least I could do since I was the one who wore you out.” He smiles, stuffing his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

The two stood there in silence for a long time, just staring at each other. He towered over her and the height difference made his heart swell, but he’d never admit that.

“Well.” She broke their silence, clapping her hands together. “Thank you so, so much for today Shawn. You’re an amazing host. Please don’t lose touch with me after today, okay?”

“Not a chance,” He shook his head, bringing her into a tight hug. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

She laughed into his chest and he gave her a particularly squeeze, neither of them wanting to let go. However, all good things must come to an end.

He finally let her go after what felt like forever, heading back to the driver’s seat. “Now go, before I change my mind and keep you here. Have a safe flight, text me when you land!”

“Thanks!” She called, waving him off as he pulled away from the hotel, leaving her alone for the first time all day.

-

Though Shawn was gone, he still found one more way to become closer to her, as when she opened the door to her hotel room, she was met with another piece of him.

The guitar that he’d just taught her the melody on hours ago was sitting on the bed next to the case, Shawn’s signature written largely on the bottom with a smiley face and a heart. He must have found a way to sneak it in when she was sleeping in the truck.

She facepalmed and screamed happily into her hand, trying to contain her excitement. Quickly grabbing her phone, she took a picture of it and sent him a text, a perpetual mile-wide grin on her face.

To: Shawn

You sneaky devil. Thank you so so much for EVERYTHING <3

The 3 bubbles at the bottom popped up almost as soon as she’d sent the text and she bit her thumb nervously, awaiting his response.

From: Shawn

It’s no problem, honey. make me proud ;)

[moonbeambucky]

Cheers!

Pairing: Bartender!Bucky Barnes x Reader [AU] Word Count: 4305 Warnings: Slight angst, cheating, fluff

Summary: A charming bartender comes to your rescue after a night out leads to a broken heart.

A/N: This is my submission for @marvelous-fvcks 3k writing challenge. My prompt was Bartender AU. Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated! gif source (x)

Natasha smiled as you slipped behind her, checking the mirror to see that your makeup didn’t look awful. You had been out with her all day and didn’t feel like reapplying anything. There was no one to impress anyway considering you were already taken, in a fairly new relationship with your boyfriend Grant.

You watch with an envious stare as the redhead effortlessly applied her eyeliner, painting her lids with a smooth swipe and a simple flick at the ends to make perfect, even wings. Witchcraft!

“It’ll be fun tonight,” Natasha said, her mouth hanging open as she applied mascara. “Clint’s heard them before, they’re pretty good.”

She was referring to the band playing at a bar near her boyfriend Clint’s apartment. With Grant being away on a business trip this weekend you were lonely but thankfully your best friend came through with plans.

You took an Uber to Clint’s apartment, coming upstairs for a bit because he was running late. Clint opened the door clutching the towel around his waist.

“Hey Nat, Y/N,” he said, welcoming you inside.

Natasha kissed him and sighed, “You didn’t even get in the shower yet?”

Clint chuckled. “Nah, I over–”

“–Slept,” she said in unison. “Uh huh, what else is new?” She laughed under her breath and told him to hurry up.

Natasha made space on the couch for you to sit, clearing away clothes and video game controllers, and placing the empty pizza boxes on the kitchen counter.

“He’s a mess but I love him,” she said, plopping next to you.

Within ten minutes Clint was out of the shower and dressed in some jeans, a t-shirt that definitely looked like it had come from a crumpled pile on the floor and a denim jacket over it. Natasha rolled her eyes as she laced her fingers with his and the three of you made your way to the bar.

It was a short walk to The Captain, the bar appropriately named after its owner, a former army Captain. It was a pretty popular place with live music every weekend. You got there early enough to grab a table in the back before the band started.

Heading to the bar with Natasha you squeezed your way in between the boisterous patrons crowding around the high top counter. The bartender locked his eyes with yours, wordlessly letting you know he’ll be right with you though you didn’t mind the wait, not if it meant you could ogle him for longer.

He was tall and broad, with long brown hair falling just above his shoulders and stubble peppering a sharp jawline. Even in the dim bar lighting you could see his sparkling blue eyes. There was no harm in looking you reminded yourself as you thought of Grant.

“What can I get you doll?” he asked, his voice as smooth as silk, leaning over to you.

You’re taken back by his presence, lost in his wide bright smile. Heat simmered on your cheeks as you stood there awkwardly, before remembering your intention of ordering drinks.

“That’s a lot for one person,” the bartender said, grabbing three glasses from underneath the counter.

“Oh, no,” you giggled nervously, “They’re not all for me.”

“I was just kidding,” he said, flashing that gorgeous smile again and winking while you stood there feeling like a complete idiot.

When he turned around to grab the liquor bottles you found yourself in a trance, watching the way his muscles threatened the integrity of his shirt with every movement. A rough tap on your shoulder broke you from your focused gaze, startling you enough to yelp loudly; your scream blending into the loud rock music blasting from the jukebox.

It was Natasha, her face twisted in confusion as to why you look so scared. She held money out to you for the drinks, awkwardly grabbing it as you tried to shake off your nerves before you realized the bartender was chuckling with light laughter having seen the whole thing. As if you weren’t embarrassed enough already.

He placed the drinks on the counter and your nervous hands shook as you paid and tipped him, wanting to rush back to the table as quickly as possible.

Clint was sitting in a booth, rocking his head and air drumming to the music blasting.

“Slide over,” Nat urged and you both sat down.

The drink went down smooth, perfectly made by the handsome bartender, and you were able to relax as you listened to Clint in his attempt to convince Nat to try archery with him.

“Just because my hair is red it does not make me Merida,” she joked, speaking loudly to make up for the large crowd that began to pile around the stage.

Soon the band Star-Lord came on and the place was electric. There’s something about the energy you get from live music, with everyone drinking, dancing and just letting go to have a good time. They played an awesome mix of 70s and 80s music from all genres and you were having the best time.

“If you like Piña Coladas…”

“And getting caught in the rain!” you and Natasha enthusiastically sang.

You finished your drink a while ago but didn’t feel like getting up for a refill as you were enjoying the band. During a slower song you shimmied out of the booth and asked if anyone else wanted something. Natasha and Clint both declined and so you made your way upfront. A smile found its way to your face as you watched the bartender mixing drinks and laughing with the other patrons.

You turned your gaze around to the other side of the bar watching people at the row of pool tables. Seeing an unexpected face caused your smile to drop as your brows knit together in confusion.

You spotted Grant standing behind a beautiful brunette, and even across the room you can see the lustful look in eyes. With a smirk plastered on his face he slowly pushed her forward, leaning over her body leaving no room in between. One hand gripped her waist as the other slowly glided down her forearm until his hand was stroking her fingers between the pool stick.

You can feel your blood boiling beneath your skin as you marched towards them, “Away for work, huh?!”

Grant looked up in shock not expecting to see you, “Y/N. I-I can explain.”

The tall woman beside him looks at you and laughed. “This is Y/N? Ha, wow babe, seriously?”

If you weren’t shocked before this definitely put you over the edge as you felt your heart testing the strength of your ribcage with its furious pounding, “Excuse me?”

“Aida stop,” he said, putting his arm out in front of her before she answered you. “Listen Y/N it just wasn’t working out.”

Your head shook in disbelief. “Since when Grant? Since yesterday?” Instead of responding he simply pressed his lips together into a tight line. “Did you just want to cheat or are you not man enough to actually break up with me?”

Grant’s face twisted with anger. “I’m more man than you’ll ever have so shut your fucking mouth bitch!” he shouted, taking an aggressive step towards you while Aida smirked with sickening pride.

Your altercation had already gained the attention of the people around you but now the bartender had looked up. He quickly got the attention of another man to tend to the bar in his place while he rushed to your side.

“Don’t you dare talk to her life that,” a voice from behind you commanded.

You looked around, surprised to see the bartender next to you.

“Whatever I need to say to Y/N is none of your business so back the fuck off,” Grant snarled.

“Y/N what is Grant doing here?” You turned around to see Natasha who looked just as confused as you first did.

“When you threaten someone it is my business,” the bartender snapped back.

Grant’s jaw clenched as anger soared through him. Puffing his chest up he clenched his fists. The bartender noticed this and took a protective step in front of you in case the idiot in front of him dared to do something stupid.

A blond man marched over, vehemently insisting that Grant leave. “This is my bar and you’re not welcome here anymore.”

He made sure Grant and Aida left without trouble and nodded back to the bartender, asking if everything was alright. The bartender made a face, knowing things were better now that the jerk was gone but as he saw the bewildered look on your face he knew things may not be alright.

“Y/N is it?” he asked gently. You picked your head up from Natasha’s shoulder to look at him. “Are you okay?”

“If by ‘okay’ you mean completely humiliated then yeah, I’m okay,” you sighed. He gave a sympathetic smile in return.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Natasha asked as she rubbed your back.

No, you didn’t. Sure you were upset and completely embarrassed but if you left you know you would just go home and cry. You and Grant hadn’t been together for long, you hadn’t said “I love you” yet which is good because you didn’t love him, but to be cheated on and disrespected like this hurt all the same. What other option is there but to stay and drink? Drink tonight and cry tomorrow, that sounded like the best plan.

Natasha walked you back to the table, filling in Clint on what happened. “I’ll kill him!” he said. Nat hushed him, knowing you’d rather not talk about it anymore.

He mimed drawing a bow back, adding a swooshing noise as he let go, “Nobody would know.”

Natasha flared her eyes at him and he shut up. “Clint get us a round of something,” she told him.

“Make it strong!” you insisted.

He came back with a full pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea and placed the glasses down on the table. After settling into the booth Clint excitedly rubbed his hands together, anxious to pour the drinks.

“Cheers!” he said, holding his glass up as you and Natasha clinked your drinks together with his.

You sat back in the booth watching Star-Lord continue their set not paying attention to the amount of drinks you had, just refilling your glass almost as quickly as you emptied it. You didn’t realize how drunk you were until you tried to stand up to dance and stumbled back down into the booth laughing hysterically.

You lied to Natasha and told her you were fine, but your heated cheeks and glossy eyes told a different story. She let it go, preferring to see her friend smiling even if it would be short lived as she knew the wicked hangover you were in for.

You took a few deep breaths before attempting to get up again, telling her that you were going to the bathroom. You insisted on going alone despite her protests but promised to be right back.

The walls echoed with the pumping music making every step you took feel more off balanced than you already were. Heading to the sink you ran the cold water, splashing it against your fiery skin feeling temporary relief. You stared at your reflection in the empty room feeling the crushing weight of the emptiness in your life. What’s wrong with me?

Suddenly all of your insecure feelings came rushing in. You pictured Aida, tall, thin and beautiful with big green eyes. It’s like somebody built her she was so perfect, and you, well, you’re not her. Tears stung your eyes as they threatened to drop. It felt like the small room was closing in on you and you needed fresh air. Stumbling out of the bathroom you saw a door in the back leading outside and quickly walked through it.

As soon as the cool air hit your skin you let your tears drop, gently brushing them away as you walked to the side of the building. You were too embarrassed to face the street, feeling as if every passerby would be able to read the details of what happened on your face. You leaned against the building and shut your eyes, hoping that the world would stop spinning before you went back inside.

Natasha was worried when you didn’t come back. She checked the bathroom and even had Clint search the men’s room as she called and texted you to no avail. They searched the whole bar but you weren’t there.

“Hey!” She waved her hands frantically to get the bartender’s attention. “Have you seen Y/N?”

He shook his head no, furrowing his brows with worry. Natasha told him they were going outside to look for you, “If you see her please have her call me!”

He poured drinks with less enthusiasm since your friend told him you were missing, constantly looking past the faces sitting as his bar hoping he found yours. His concern caught the eye of the blond who was restocking some liquor bottles.

“Hey Steve, do you mind if I take a few minutes?” he asked.

“Sure Buck. Is everything okay?”

“I’m not sure,” he vaguely responded.

The bartender went through the kitchen doors, rubbing his temples, hoping that you were okay. He headed for the back door to clear his mind when relief washed over him as he saw you slumped on the floor.

“Y/N! Are you okay?”

“Heyyyy issyou!” you slurred. “I can’t get up,” you humphed, raising your arms up over your head.

He helped stand you up, gripping your waist to steady you on your feet. “I’m okay, ‘mokay,” you repeated. “I can’t find the bar, the door moved.”

“You found it doll. Are—” you interrupted him, catching him off guard as you leaned forward into his chest.

“She’s so pretty. How could he do that?” you drunkenly sobbed.

He gently wrapped his arms around you, feeling terrible that you were crying over that asshole.

“Anyone that would treat you that way isn’t worth your tears.”

You wiped your cheeks, and sniffed a few times, wiping your snotty nose with the back of your hand. Looking up at the bartender your lips pulled to a slight smile as you thanked him.

“You’re sooo nice. Wha’s your name?” you slurred again, feeling the alcohol take over once more.

“Bucky,” he said, flashing a smile that was even more stunning up close. “Your friend was lookin’ for you, the redhead.”

A stupid smile spread across your face as you giggled, “Oh yeah… Tasha… Tanasha Ronamoff. Wait… Nasasha…”

As you continued to ramble and butcher her name you pulled out your phone but it slipped from your grasp. Bucky bent down to reach it for you and thankfully the screen hadn’t cracked. He wiped away pebbles of dirt from the front before holding it out to you.

“Natasha?” he guessed, as you stood still, staring off to the side of the building without answering him.

The sound of Bucky’s voice faded into the background as you focused on the uneasy rumble in the pit of your stomach. Your mouth watered uncomfortably as the trembling sensation you felt began to rise to the surface like an erupting volcano and then you emptied the contents of your stomach that burned their way through your body like lava.

Bucky jumped back but not before you had christened his boots with vomit. Despite that, he bravely moved beside you and grabbed your hair, this time avoiding the stream coming from your mouth, to hold it back as your body continued to expunge itself of the alcohol.

You rubbed the tears from your eyes when you were finished and moved to lean against the wall as you struggled for breath feeling the stinging after burn in your throat.

With your phone still in his hand Bucky scrolled to find Natasha in your contacts, calling her a few times before deciding to leave a message since she didn’t answer, mentioning something about Uber. He pulled his own phone out and asked for your address.

The world felt like it was covered in a haze and before you realized it Bucky was ushering you to the sidewalk. His strong frame kept you from stumbling as he got your safely into the car.

“This is my buddy Scott, he’ll take you home,” Bucky said. He leaned in through the passenger’s side window to talk to Scott, knowing he could trust him to make sure you made it home without trouble.

“Get home safe doll,” he said before seeing the car drive off.

Bright sunlight burned its way in through the window, reaching your swollen, tired eyes. You groaned, turning onto your side, barely able to lift your heavy head from the pillow. Opening your mouth was a difficult task as your tongue felt so dry it seemed as if it was fused to the roof of your mouth. Somehow you managed to sit up in bed, hanging your head low as you dragged your hands down your face.

The buzzing of your phone startled you and looking around your bed and nightstand you’re relieved to see a light shining in the darkness of your handbag on the floor. Reaching your foot out you hooked it onto the straps and pulled the bag towards you.

Natasha called you over twenty times and left text messages that seemed like they went on longer than War and Peace. Clint had called a couple of times too, plus there was a voicemail from your Mom and a text from a number that wasn’t in your contacts.

“Hey doll, how are you feeling?”

You responded by asking who it was from, quickly seeing the bubbles of the mystery texter responding back, “Bucky.”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” you said out loud before it hit you, before everything hit you, every stupid and regretful thing you did last night.

The entire night was embarrassing, from finding your now ex-boyfriend cheating on you, drinking too much and vomiting on Bucky, the hot bartender.

You frantically apologized with too many exclamation points. You noticed he was writing back but you were too ashamed to look. Throwing your phone on the bed you jumped off the mattress and headed to the bathroom to wash your face.

“What the fuck!” you screamed, examining the whites of your eyes that now sported a rosy tint to them, with a disgusting broken blood vessel beside your pupil.

Note to self, don’t ever drink again unless you want to become a permanent extra on The Walking Dead.

Popping open the bottle of aspirin you took two pills to the kitchen, swallowing them down with a tall glass of water before shuffling back to your bedroom.

After shutting your blinds you crawled back under the covers, back into the shameful hole you feel that you belong in. Your phone buzzed again with Bucky’s response and taking a deep breath you braced yourself for what his text said.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Don’t worry about it? You vomited on a person, of course you’re going to worry about it!

Remembering to respond to Natasha first you let her know you’re okay but you feel like human garbage. You continued to exchange texts back and forth with Bucky, learning he was surprisingly cool with being thrown up on, a risk he was used to in his line of work. He told you he rinsed his boots off, but you still felt terrible, offering to buy him new shoes. He asked for something else in exchange, coffee.

Your head began to spin and not just because you might still be drunk. The incredibly hot bartender that witnessed the disaster that was your evening, who you’ve thrown up on, wants to go out for coffee. You can’t quite place your finger on how you feel, happy you guess, a little weird, hmm and definitely still drunk. You’ll have to talk to Natasha about this after she undoubtedly yells at you for disappearing.

A few days go by before your meet up with Bucky. You had continued to message each other, quickly falling into a routine where his was the first message you saw when you woke up and the last before you went to bed, often wishing you sweet dreams. Thinking about Bucky definitely gave you some sweet dreams. Natasha had encouraged you to pursue whatever this was, even though you insisted it was only coffee.

You spotted Bucky from across the street, running his fingers through his hair. The sun illuminated his bright white t-shirt, which showed off his bulging biceps. It was truly unfair how someone could look so good in casual clothing. Inhaling a stiff breath you gathered yourself together and crossed the street.

Bucky’s eyes lit up when he saw you and you couldn’t help but to smile from ear to ear.

“Hey Y/N,” he said, leaning in to hug you.

You let yourself enjoy being enveloped by his large frame for as long as you could. His embrace felt like being wrapped in a blanket on a cold winter day, with warmth spreading throughout your body.

“Hi Bucky,” you greeted, not quite making eye contact with him as the thoughts of your last encounter were on your mind.

“You look great.”

You burst out laughing a bit more than you had intended. “Yeah, well, anything is better than when you last saw me. That wasn’t my finest moment.” Bucky laughed at your admission.

He held the door open as you walked inside the crowded cafe. Grabbing a small table in the corner you sat down and looked over the menu, occasionally lifting your eyes to get a quick glance at Bucky whose gaze was staring firmly at you.

His lips were pulled into a smile, one he couldn’t help but wear as he was taking in all the beautiful features of your face that were highlighted by the soft daylight that filtered in through the window. His stomach twisted when he saw the splotch of red in your eye, a remnant from the last time he saw you.

It was understandable after what happened that you wanted to distract yourself by drinking. If that happened at any other bar Bucky would have loved to punch the smirk right off the face of your ex.

He was happy in a strange way, that the jerk who certainly didn’t deserve you was no longer the recipient of your sweet messages. Each time Bucky’s phone buzzed his heart began to beat a little faster in anticipation of seeing your name. The messages were simple, asking how each other’s day was or wondering if you binged the same shows on Netflix. Conversation was easy and Bucky couldn’t wait to get to know you more.

A server came by to take your order of coffee and pastries, taking away the menu you were not-so secretly hiding your face behind to compose yourself. Looking at Bucky was dangerous, knowing the longer your sober mind took in his perfect smile and sparkling eyes the more you would have to acknowledge the fluttering of your heart.

As you waited for your food to arrive Bucky broke the silence and you both opened up, finding out more and more that you had in common. You tried not to let your mind run wild; this was coffee and nothing more, but then again he hasn’t stopped smiling.

The fork slowly pulled out of Bucky’s lips. “Mmmm, this is so good,” he moaned, electrifying your already fragile mind with dirty thoughts. “You have to try it.”

Before you could protest he held his fork in front of you, offering you a piece of his cinnamon roll. You licked your lips before opening your mouth, he smirked watching the fork disappear between your lips, humming in satisfaction as the warm dough and sugary icing deliciously exploded along your tongue.

“Just a sec,” he said, swiping his thumb by the top of your lip to brush away a bit of icing. Your body tingled under his soft touch and you dropped your head down as you felt heat rush to your cheeks.

Clearing your throat, you brushed a strand of hair behind your ears, “I never thanked you for helping me and making sure I got home safe.”

Bucky sat back and smiled deeply. “You’re welcome. It was the least I could do.”

“A lot of people wouldn’t have been as…” you paused for a moment, thinking about the vulnerable situation you were in, drunk off your ass with a stranger, “…Respectful as you were.”

“Decency shouldn’t be a surprise,” he lamented, knowing how many times he’s had to personally intervene when he saw others trying to take advantage of drunk people. “Though I will apologize if Scott started talking to you about his ant farm.”

You burst out laughing, catching the side eyed look of the table next to you. “I wouldn’t have remembered if he did!”

When the server brought the check you insisted on paying, “Bucky, please it’s the least I can do.”

“Fine, but I’m paying on our next date,” he said, cocking his head to the side and smiling.

“Oh, this was a date?” you asked, as sarcasm and hopefulness combined in your tone.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, sporting a coy smile. “Well, maybe, maybe not, but I’d love to take you on a real date Y/N.”

You bit your lip to hold back the full smile you felt forming on your face. Taking a breath to calm your fluttering heart, “I’ll drink to that.”

“Please don’t,” he pleaded, laughing.

Putting your hands up defensively you chuckled, “Okay okay!”

“I’m just teasing,” he said. Bucky lifted his coffee cup up to yours, “Cheers!”