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#school ad basically live life like a Normal Allistic Person which. is bullshit but thats besides the point
ff2-soda-pop · 1 year
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having. bad moment today alright-
#everything in class was too overwhelming to the point i couldnt even talk anymore and i couldnt leave and i didnt wanna stim because then#people would See Me and stuff so i just sat there suffering with that.#and then ig we're preparing for Finals but i barely have understood this whole class because it goes Too Fast for me and im scared im gonna#fail and i cant fail otherwise im gonna get the help w/ the financial stuff taken away and thats basically gonna screw me over big time but#idk what im doing!! and then the teacher said things about like 'oh if you say you're not taking this again next semester i'll take off#points' BUT IDK IF SHE WAS SERIOUS OR NOT?????? like shes generally pretty nice but like i cant tell if she was kidding or not at all but i#dont wanna ask because no one else seemed confused by it and i dont wanna stick out so i just. am confused#also im scared if i fail this class my mom'll get pissed because shes very insistent that i am the 'normal' one and so i 'have' to go to#school ad basically live life like a Normal Allistic Person which. is bullshit but thats besides the point#and my only class rn is japanese which until now ive been consistently GOOD at so if i fail that my mom'll probably get Extra pissed at me#for it because of that. also trying to ask for help hasnt worked so good so far because i tried and the teachers like 'you're doing fine!#dont worry about it :D' and im like 'i have barely understood anything for weeks on end but idk how to argue you on this and it feels rude#to try and be like No Actually Wrong' so then i just. dont say anything#also i still have no accommodations because i still havent gotten copies of papers i need and they wont let me do anything until i have#those copies of things from older schools before i went here. EVEN THOUGH IM LITERALLY DIAGNOSED AND AM STRUGGLING BUT APPARENTLY PAPERS#FROM OLD SCHOOLS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT CAN 'PROVE' I NEED HELP???? WHICH MAKES NO SENSE TO ME BUT ANYWAYS-#anyways everything is too much and i wanna curl up in a ball and just kinda stay like that forever#vent
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