#people would See Me and stuff so i just sat there suffering with that.

[ff2-soda-pop]

having. bad moment today alright-

[maybankswhore]

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄.

summary: even though jj refuses to admit his feelings for you— he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.

warnings: cursing

prompt: “why are you mad?” “i’m not mad , i just think you can choose better people to kiss.”

The dynamic between you and JJ was undoubtedly strange. You’d two hold hands , hug for longer than ‘friendly’ hugs usually went for , have sleepovers where you’d cuddle and kiss his cheek. It was like a relationship without the title and without the kissing and sappy lover girl esqe commitment.

But it started to get hurtful. To be the girl that was always there , the only girl that was ever there , and still be seen as nothing more than just a friend. God , how you absolutely hated using the word ‘friend.’

There was hookup after hookup , one after the other. JJ would tell you all about them , seeing nothing wrong in confiding his deepest thoughts with his ‘best friend.’ It was harmless in his mind. If you were too hook up with anyone , he’d want to hear about it. I mean— it’s not like there were guys lining up for you at the door. You were stagnant and clearly into JJ so most guys didn’t bother trying. So while JJ figured he’d be okay with hearing about it— it turned out to make him feel the complete opposite.

All four Pogue’s were sitting around the fire in John B’s backyard as you sat there bashfully , remembering your work shift earlier that morning.

It had started like any other day— the same old faces that come for the same old cup of coffee. Some were a bit less frequent and the tips were all in the same. Business wasn’t necessarily ‘booming’ but it was a moderately profitable day. Today had seemed like any other day— until it wasn’t.

A boy who was not much older than you were had walked in and you swore your heart stopped. There wasn’t many people you looked twice at , beings that you suffered with the cruelty of unrequited love. But this one had made you look twice. His hair was shaggy brown , stopping right above his eyebrows. His green eyes seemed kind , the minute he had mumbled ‘hello’ to you.

You were surprised he asked for your number. The banter between the two of you , and how charming he was seemed to brighten your morning just a bit— and since JJ hadn’t seemed to be confessing his undying love for you any time soon , it seemed to be the right time to try and put yourself out there.

“No way you actually gave some random guy your number.” JJ scoffed from the side of you. He wasn’t sure why hearing you talk about another guy that way made him feel so. . . mad. Sure he cared about you , but never really paid attention to what kind of care it was. He always chalked it up to knowing you his whole life , declaring you his bestfriend for life. But watching the way your eyes danced amongst the flame with a certain girlish glow , his heart beat faster than he had ever felt before.

You rolled your eyes. “Okay and? It’s not like you don’t give out your number at every boneyard party.” You defended yourself.

“She’s right.” Pope pointed at her.

“Yeah I think it’s sweet.” Kiara gushed , hyping it up more than it really was. She knew JJ had a crush on you— anyone with two eyes could see that. He was just too stupid to bother realizing it. “It’ll be like those movies where the girl falls for the guy from the coffee shop.” She placed a hand on her heart dramatically. “That’s like , super romantic.”

“I know!” You sighed dreamily. You had always been such a romantic. Reading , writing , watching it. Those silly little cliche book plots coming to life.

JJ rolled his eyes. “It’s not that romantic.”

“Why’re you being such a hater right now?” You asked JJ , crossing your arms over your chest annoyed. “You should be happy for me! Stuff like this never happens to me.”

JJ began to think back over the years before realizing that you were right. You were always with him or the other Pogue’s and when there were parties , he’d find some girl to mess around with somewhere before finding you so you two could go home together like you always had. He hadn’t remembered the last time you even talked about liking someone. His chest began to ache at that— feeling bad. Of course he wanted romantic stuff to happen for you so why did he feel so defensive about it? Sighing , he shook his head of the confusing feelings. “You’re right , I’m sorry. What was his name?”

He swallowed down whatever he thought he was feeling , doing what he did best ; ignoring the problem until it eventually went away. Because he couldn’t think of you like that. . . The two of you were just friends. You always had been— right?

John B and Pope shared a knowing look. You smiled obliviously and continued.

“Nate.”

“Nate?” John B asked with his face turning red.

“Yeah?”

“As in Nate Montero?” Pope pressed further.

JJ shifted in his seat uncomfortably , looking at you. “As in the guy who cut my hair in Kindergarten?!”

You covered your mouth as you gasped , remembering how much JJ had cried because some kid on the playground cut a chunk of his hair off. The name did seem familiar to you at the time but you hadn’t even remembered then. JJ’s face was scrunched up with disgust while the Pogue’s doubled over into laughter. How ironic.

“It was a long time ago!” You groaned.

“I don’t give a shit! That little bastard cut my hair. The hair I had been growing for years.” He threw his hands up in the air. “You can’t go out with him.” JJ said immediately with his nose turned in the air.

“Oh yes I can.”

JJ raised his eyebrows at you , taken aback by the seriousness in your voice. Something bubbled inside of him— something he couldn’t quite figure out. Whatever it was , though , he didn’t like it. “That’s like a betrayal!” He said after a few seconds.

“John B literally dates Sarah Cameron!” You pointed out , giving him a soft smile of apology when he shot you a look. “Sorry but it’s true.”

“She isn’t wrong.” Kiara chirped up.

“You’re literally friends now!” Scoffed John B.

“Yeah— now.” You pointed out. “But at first there was hella beef that was deeper than getting your hair snipped in Kindergarten.”

John B groaned. “Can we not bring me up into this? This is between you and JJ.”

“There’s nothing between me and JJ—” you ignored the way your stomach began to hurt at that. The words only fueling your desire to see the guy , Noah , from the coffee shop again. “I’m seeing him.”

“Y/N this conversation isn’t over!” JJ called after you once you picked up your beer can and started walking towards the house. You didn’t bother looking back , throwing him the middle finger as you disappeared behind the doors.

JJ’s eyes turned to slits and looked at the Pogue’s with an annoyed expression. “Can you believe her?”

“Believe what? That she finally finds a guy attractive other than you?” Kiara folded her arms across her chest. “If you aren’t going to be with her then let someone else who wants to be and be happy for her.”

JJ furrowed his eyebrows at Kiara. He glanced at Pope and John B before looking back at her. “Y/N/N does not find me attractive.” He waved her off.

“Oh please.” Pope muttered under his breath.

“I say we just let this play out.” John B stretched out with a yawn.

“This could end badly—” Pope pointed out.

“Or JJ will finally get his head out of his ass.” Kiara snorted.

JJ stood up in front the Pogue’s with an uneasy look. “I don’t know what you’re all talking about but the only way this ends badly is if Y/N decides to go ahead with that guy. He’s bad news.” He huffed , running back into the Chateau.

“He’s so jealous.” John B smirked while shaking his head.

“Very.”

It had been very tense between the two of you. You were so mad at him for thinking he had any right to tell you who you could or couldn’t date— especially after years of pining after him , and watching him go through girl after girl without so much as glancing your way. You weren’t going to keep hoping for someone to look at you anymore.

Nate had texted you to meet up and you did. It was a nice date , nothing too fancy or mind blowing. Just a simple date. One that ended in a small goodbye kiss on John B’s front porch— the place you normally stayed on on the weekends when your parents were out and about , barely thinking twice about you.

You were glimmering when you walked back in. You figured the Pogue’s would be in the backyard like they always were , so you breezed past the living room and into the kitchen for a glass of water. Your thoughts were everywhere because you did like Nate , and the kiss left you breathless— but it wasn’t like what you thought it would be. Though , none of the past kisses ever were. There was always something missing , making you rethink them.

“Oh so the traitor is back.” JJ strolled into the kitchen without looking at you , his tone hard.

This had been the first time in the past two days he bothered talking to you. You figured he was just pissy you decided to go out with Nate after all , despite the silly Kindergarten incident.

“Why are you mad?” You put down your water bottle and stepped in front of him so he couldn’t look away from you.

“I’m not mad. I just think you could choose better people to kiss.” JJ said. His fingers dancing towards the side of her face.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. Pulling your face away from his hand , you sighed. “If this is about what happened in fricking Kindergarten—”

JJ grabbed your face in his hands , your cheeks hollowing out between your teeth as he did so. You looked at him through fluttering eyelashes , your cheeks burning up. “This isn’t about what happened.” He murmured to you.

This whole conversation had him thinking. That feeling he was feeling— it wouldn’t go away. He had tossed and turned all night that night because his stomach was so sick thinking about you with someone else. He didn’t know why it never occurred to him that you’d eventually find someone else. He didn’t know why he wasted away all this time being with girls who didn’t mean anything. JJ wanted to kiss you. And to hold you like more than a friend. He didn’t want you with Nate— or with anyone. And he felt so bad about never realizing it , and always pushing away those feelings you’d make him feel because he was scared to lose you.

But he couldn’t lose you to someone else.

“I don’t want you to kiss Nate. . .” JJ breathed , inching closer to your face. Your eyes were wide with shock as you watched him , your heart beating crazily in your chest. He still held your face in her hands , watching your reaction to his words. He only hoped that you’d want to kiss him back.

“JJ—” you mumbled. “What’re you—”

“I want to kiss you.” JJ told you , swiping his thumb on your bottom lip. “Only if you’ll kiss me.”

Your heart began to race as you studied JJ’s face. The crush that you had buried inside of you for years was bursting in your chest , making friends with the butterflies in your stomach. Your mouth went dry as you looked at him. JJ left go of the hold he had on you to simply cup your cheek.

“JJ don’t be mean.” You whispered. “If you’re doing this just because I went out with Nate—”

“This isn’t because of Nate.” JJ cut you off. “Not completely , anyway. It was at the beginning but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. His hands on you.” His left hand slithered down to your waist , snaking around it. “Your lips on his.” His other hand pulled at your bottom lip again. “I got jealous.”

You stared at stunned. “Jealous?”

“I think I like you , Y/N.” JJ sighed to himself , looking at you sweetly. “And I think I’ve always known but I just ignored thinking it would go away.”

You swallowed thickly looking up at him. “Did it?”

“No.” He shook his head. “It didn’t.”

“Then. . .” you took a deep breath and stood taller , clearing your throat to sound more confident. “Then I think I want you to kiss me.”

With wild eyes , JJ was treading a line he wasn’t sure it was safe to cross. But the way his heart burned inside of his chest , his ears ringing and pulse getting faster— it would be worth whatever outcome if it meant he got to feel what it was like to kiss you. JJ got closer to you , so close that you felt his breath fan your face. “Do you think or do you know?”

Quietly you weighed your options in your head. There were so many things going through your mind , telling you a million different things. But the way you felt was telling you to kiss him. Finally. After all this time— you wanted to make him wait it out like you had for so long. But you couldn’t control yourself. “I know.” You took the initiative to connect your lips to his , tired of this waiting game. It was either now or never.

He kissed you back immediately. His hands finding home around your waist. His knees felt weak and your heart felt mushy. As your head tilted to the side , a sense of relief fell over you. This was it. This was why no other kiss had ever compared or felt like it mattered. Because it was JJ , it was always JJ.

He was your missing piece to it all.

JJ was the first to pull away , breathless. He felt crazed as he looked at you with eyes wild. Nothing had ever felt like this with him— no other girl could ever compare to you.

“Like I said. . . this ended badly!” Pope bursted out , practically falling out into the kitchen. Kiara and John B rolled their eyes at him.

“Finally!” Kiara groaned. “I was so sick of the sappy back and forth shit.”

“I for one , agree.”

You hid your face in your hands embarrassed while JJ smirked triumphantly. “I have a full head of hair and I got the girl.”

“I hate you.”

[hateblackies]

late night talks

"Loves dumb. People get too caught up in it. They forget who they are chasing that feeling," a young Gojo Satoru said, twirling a pen carelessly in his hand as he sat in his study chair, looking into your eyes through the reflection of the window. When he saw you weren’t replying, he continued.

“People die. What then? Chase after the void they left? Yeah, right," he scoffed. It perturbed you despite the gravity of the words he was saying, he seemed so brash.. so eager, and so careless.

"Love is natural," you said, holding a pillow close to your chest as you sat on his bedside. Satoru turned his chair, watching you snuggle up to the pillow. He rolled his eyes, then looked back in the direction of the window, with a pout that was meant as humor.

"What..?" you said quietly, your eyebrows furrowing, clutching the pillow harder. He turned his head over the headrest and smirked at you “You’re hugging that pillow as if it were your lifeline.”

He leaned back, propping himself up with his hands behind his head. “That thing isn’t going to love you back, you know...” he snickered. “Oh, shut up!” you said in annoyance, throwing the pillow at him from across the room now.

He caught it with one hand, his eyes narrowing. “Oh wow, you’re really mad, huh?” he teased. His lips tugged into a smirk, and he raised his eyebrows. “Someone’s jealous of a pillow?” he asked dramatically, now holding the pillow close to his chest himself.

As much as she wanted to leave his room, she couldn’t bring herself to. She stayed sat on his bed, arms now crossed. She was silent for some time. “If there was no love, we’d all be empty, soulless people,” she whispered beneath her breath. Satoru hated the gushiness.

“If there was no love, there would be no pain,” he countered, still staring at you with soft eyes and an amused look. Satoru wasn’t trying to start an argument at all; he just wanted to see how she would respond.

Her eyes widened. Her breath got stuck in her throat with his sharp words. “That’s.. not true.” He furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity at her response.

“How is it not? How could someone suffer the pains of loving someone so much you can’t see them leave-” He was caught off guard by being interrupted.

“I won’t leave,” she blurted out, suddenly clasping her hands over her mouth at her words, her face reddened. He tilted his head, confused and amused at your sudden outburst.

“Eh?” he said, smirking. He kept his gaze on you expectantly, and raised a brow. He was a dumb teenager. He didn’t understand girls.

She dug her head into her hands now looking down, not saying another word. He was silent for some time. Probably thinking about Pokémon, or something.. by now.

“Why… why aren’t you saying anything?” she said softly, eyes now peeking over her arms, observing him. “Hm? What am I supposed to say?” he asked, keeping a straight face.

She huffed. Maybe an ‘I won’t leave you either’? she thought, but heck, she knew he wouldn’t commit to that. “You’re trying to be a smart ass.” She said.

He laughed, this time genuinely. “Am I?” he said with a cocky undertone.“Besides. Did you seriously expect me to say something mushy like ‘I’ll be with you forever’ type of thing?”

“Especially not to you…” he said with a cheeky grin. His statement was half-true and half-sarcastic; It’s just what he did, but he was serious in a sense; he wasn’t the type of person who would just go around saying romantic stuff. He liked to show rather than say when it came to things like love. And besides, he wasn’t the type to be able to commit to such a thing. He was Gojo Satoru.

“Maybe.. I did.” She said softly, trying to hide her evident frustration in him as she propped herself off his bed, taking steps toward the door.

He stared at her in utter amusement. He crossed his legs and watched her walking toward the door. “Aww, Going already?” he said as he heard the door shut closed, He thought they were having a good time; her leaving was a little surprising to him, despite the way he’s acting. Oh well.

“hm. girls are weird.”

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— Just know you're stronger than you think

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, J - Just know you're stronger than you think

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader

There's a been a lot of tears writing this one, but it comes from the heart.

Shoutout to @alotofpockets for being one my biggest supports when writing and dealing with my rants and emotions, massively appreciate the virtual shoulder to lean on! 💗

"Why is it that the people we care about so much are also the ones' that hurt us the most?"

That particular question has been on your mind ever since it happened, two whole days ago.

"Did something happen?" The therapist, sitting opposite you questions, her voice full of concern.

Fumbling with the strings of your Leahs' hoodie that you are wearing, you slowly nod and look at the older woman, "My mum showed up, completely unannounced."

The memories of the past few days begin to replay in your head as you remember the conversation very clearly.

"Hi sweetheart," You're shocked to open the front door and come face to face with your mother, who you haven't even heard of in a few months, following the last conversation that you had with her.

Yet here she stood, smiling like there was nothing the matter. Had she forgotten what happened?

"Mom? Wha... What are you doing here?" You're confused to say the least and you couldn't understand why she was here, at your front door, after all of this time.

"I wanted to come and see you," The woman replied, still continuing to smile condescendingly at you.

Your eyes furrowed in confusion, "And you didn't think to let me know first?" You questioned her.

"I didn't think I would need to," Your mother was quick to respond, "And besides, I tried to call, but you've been avoiding me, haven't you?" She asked, knowingly.

"I've had stuff going on," You admitted to her quietly, shrugging your shoulders.

The older woman hummed in response, "I know, you were in the hospital, and guess where I had to find that out? The news, social media-- You didn't think to call your own mother?!" She barked at you, like it was her right to know about what's been going in your life.

She didn't deserve that right, not when shes' not bothered with you for as long as you can remember.

"I guess... I guess I forgot," You mumbled, feeling ten times smaller like your mother always has a way of making you feel like that.

It  was like a flip switched right there and then, your mother's smile changed to a scowl right in front of you.

"After everything I have done for you, and you just throw it back in my face, Y/N!" The women shouted angrily, her emotions completely changing in a blink.

The therapist sat opposite you, listening to you completely as you tell her about the conversation and relayed it back to her, "Okay, and how did that make you feel? How did you handle it?" She asks.

"The same way that I always did," You murmur, still fumbling with the hoodie strings, "I blew up."

"Mum, I haven't been well-- I tried to kill myself. I wanted to die, I... I tried to end my life because I didn't want to be here anymore!" You completely poured your emotional vulnerability out to the woman, hoping that she'd comfort you, something in which you deeply craved.

The woman literally scoffed and shook her head, "And you don't think that's incredibly selfish to do? What about me-- Wha... You can't leave me, Y/N!" She exclaimed in disbelief.

Your initial confusion turned to anger very quickly, how could she make it all about herself, even now?

"Mum, I'm the one that's been suffering and in pain, this whole damn time!" You didn't mean to yell at her, but something inside you snapped.

"You don't think I have? Y/N, I've been in pain for a lot longer than you have-- You don't know the half of it!" Your mother shouted right back at you, completely forgetting the fact you were both outside in broad daylight where anyone could hear the shouting back and forth.

The very sentence made you realise how inconsiderably selfish she has always been, and she will still continue to be.

"Why has it always got to be about you? I can't even talk to you because you're so wrapped up in yourself-- See this, this is the reason I didn't tell you because yet again, you just once again go and make it about yourself!" You were seething with anger, you didn't care at this point which neighbour did hear you, "I needed you, mum, I really... I really needed you and you weren't there." Your voice was vulnerable and raw, showing the true hurt you felt right there.

"Because you didn't tell me that you needed me, Y/N," Your mother threw it back in your face, having the audacity to even tut at you, "How could I when you don't keep in touch anymore?" She asked.

You really did need your mum, but once again, she was nowhere to be seen when you did.

"She doesn't get it, she never has. Shes' always been this selfish and I've never realised..." You speak directly to your therapist, once again showing your vulnerability as the tears continue to spill down your cheeks.

Your therapist nods and continues to listen, shifting the paper in her hands completely aside, "Did you tell her how you felt?" She wonders.

"I did," You nod in response, "It was hard, but... I did it."

"I deserve to know if theres' something wrong with you, Y/N,'' Your mother stated, like it was her god-given right to know.

Was it really?

"I'm telling you now, aren't I, mum?" You responded, quietly.

Your mother exhaled a sigh and shook her head, "Were you alone in the hospital?" She questioned.

"No, I had Leah--" You were cut off before you could finish that sentence.

Your mother had the audacity to scoff, "Leah is not your mother, Y/N. I am!" She stated, firmly.

"Yeah, well shes' been there a lot more than you have in the last few years!" You confessed your inner thoughts, you were damn right about that statement.

Leahs' been there a lot more than your mum ever has been.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Your mother questioned in disbelief.

"It means... It means I'm done, mum. I'm done with always having to be second best-- I'm done with you and your selfishness! I'm just... I'm done now!" You told her, not having the energy to keep up this argument with her as you deflated your shoulders.

Your mother had the nerve to look at you hurt and it made you feel instant guilt about what you said, "All that I have done for you, and this is how I am treated? By my own daughter!" She said quietly, barely louder than a whisper.

"Mum, I'm sorry... But I can't, I can't do this anymore," Your telling her nothing but the truth, your tired of the bickering, your so tired of it and its' draining you both mentally and physically, "I love you because your my mum, but I'm done, I can't... I think its' best that you go."

"I'm the one whos' always been there, Y/N. I am the one... I am the one whos' been there when that deadbeat of a father walked out on us. He walked and I stayed, I didn't have too. I could have given you up but I stayed and this is what I get?" Your mothers' words hurt, they're gaslighting and manipulative, but you know this is exactly what she is like.

You have to try and remain strong in this decision.

"I think you should go now, mum. I... I don't want you here anymore," You told her, quietly as you avoided looking at her, "Please, just go."

"Y/N, you can't just push me away. I don't deserve to be treated like this," The women continued to gaslight you, showing the toxic traits of her personality.

Shaking your head, you remained firm on your decision, "It's always the same thing with you, mum. Just... Just fuckin' go!" You exclaimed, trying to keep your tears at bay until she left.

You watched as your mothers' face turned to look like complete thunder, "Don't you swear  at me, young lady!" She shouted, enraged.

This time, you couldn't help but scoff, "Please, you can't tell me what to do. Just leave and never come back!" You demanded.

"Y/N," Your mother pleaded, but you didn't want to hear it.

Your therapist leant forward to pass you the box of tissues and looked at you in great sympathy, "And then what happened?" She asks.

"Leah showed up," You tell her, giving her a brief smile while trying to harshly wipe the tears away.

"I think you should do what she says. She's asked you to leave and you're not welcome here," Leah appeared behind your mother, coming back from a quick trip to the shops to pick up some much needed essentials and was shocked to see the women on her doorstep after all this time.

"You!" Your Mother turned round to see the voice behind her as she glared, "You've poisined my own daughter against me!"

"Me?" Leah scoffed in response before she shook her head, "That wasn't me, I think you'll find that was all done by you. So you can see Y/N is upset, so please Y/M/N, just go because like I said before, you're not welcome here." Her words were firm and it made you smile slightly with the way that the blonde fought in your corner.

"So, she left?" Your therapist questions, curiously.

You nod in agreement and use your sleeves to wipe your face, "She left, I felt... I guess I felt relieved, free almost? I... I just wish that things could be different, you know?" You tell her, confused about the feelings you have.

Your therapist smiled at you sympathetically, "You don't deserve to be treated like this, Y/N. Even if its' your own mother and you did the right thing here-- Remember we talked about healthy boundaries? Those apply to family members as well." She tells you.

"I know, it just hurts," You murmur, feeling complete exhaustion after spilling everything out in the open.

"It will for a bit, but then it'll heal. This is about you, Y/N," Your therapist continues to speak open and honestly to you, "It will take time to heal, but you're strong enough to do it, and you're not alone either." She states, kindly.

"Rough session?" Leah questions in concern as she glances at you beside where she sits in the driver's seat.

You must be somewhat predictable, or she can tell from the red puffy eyes and tear stain cheeks.

It may just be the latter one.

"Yeah," You murmur in response, you barely have the effort to even want to vocually communicate right now.

Leah continues to look at you in further concern, "Do you want to talk about it?" She offers.

"No, I don't... I don't want to talk about it," Your quick enough to disagree with that.

That was a complete lie, you did want to talk about it. Even if you won't admit it though.

"Okay, that's fine. You know where I am though if you need me, bubs." Leah sends you a gentle smile and squeezes your knee to let you know she's here for you.

"Thanks," You lean your head on the window, watching the passing traffic as you head back home to the flat you shared with the blonde.

The rest of the ride home was quiet, you felt so in your head right now.

Therapy was meant to help, right? Why did it feel like the complete opposite, right now.

"I'm gonna make tea, what do you--" Leahs' words are cut short with the sound of your bedroom door slamming shut behind you, "I'll be out here if you need me at all." She calls out, hoping that you can hear her.

You do hear her, but you just don't have the energy to verbally respond right now.

You used it all in therapy, pouring your emotions out and showing your vulnerability, and that's something which rarely ever happens.

You keep yourself shut away in your bedroom for the rest of the day.

Leah of course has tried to prise you out of your room, but you are very much reluctant to leave your confined space.

You don't want to talk anymore today, you'd already done enough of that with the therapist.

So instead you bury yourself in a blanket, shamelessly clutching hold of the little stuffed green dinosaur that you won at a fair when you were eight, while you just sob endlessly into your pillow.

"Why is it that the people we care about so much are also the ones' that hurt us the most?" The question still plays on your head in a loop, because even now, you still don't understand the answer to it.

What shocks you the most is the fact that your mum hasn't bothered even once to contact you.

That shit hurts, to realise that shes' not bothered about any of it.

Not a single thing.

Somehow during the time you've spent in your room, you end up crying most of the time. Unfortunately, the habits' become more familiar over the last few months than you realise, all because of that woman.

There's a knock at your door, followed by the blondes' voice, "Bubs?"

"G' way," You mumble from underneath the covers, trying to block out the rest of the world.

Hearing the door creep open, you know that Leah isn't going to do that, "I heard you crying. I'm not going to leave you when you're this upset." She states, firmly.

"I don't want... I don't want to talk," You stutter your words, trying to control your sobs no matter how difficult that is.

"That's okay, we don't have to talk about things," Leah moves further into the room as her heart breaks at the sight of you curled up into a ball in the middle of your bed, clutching a hold of the pillow with tear stained cheeks, "Oh, bubs. C'mere, my girl."

That sight was enough for Leah to swiftly move to lie behind you in your bed, gently scoop you up and pull you closer to her, to be able to allow you the comfort even if you didn't want it.

The blonde knew different, she knew not to believe you when you said you didn't want to talk, she allows you the space but shes' not going to allow you to be completely torn up about this.

"Le," Your voice trembles, you don't have the words to say right now, but your grateful for the blonde being there.

Leah quietly shushes you and wraps her free arm around you, "I know, I know it hurts. You don't have to say anything, but know I'm here for you, regardless."

"Why... I don't get why, why does it hurt this much?" You're completely heartbroken, you thought pushing your mother away would help with things, but it makes it all that worse.

"I wish I could tell you the answer there, bubs," Leah murmurs and rocks you back and forth slightly in her arms, "Sometimes' it hurts to do it, but it's' for the best, you know?"

"S... She hasn't even phoned me. She doesn't care about me," You cry openly, showing the raw vulnerability you felt about this situation.

You feel like you've been abandoned, somewhat.

Parents aren't meant to do that, but yet its' easy for enough for it to happen.

And now you're the one in the wrong? It doesn't make sense.

"It hurts now, but things will get better," Leah tells you honestly, running her slender fingers through the strands of your own hair, "And I promise to never leave you alone, ever, okay? You've always got me!" She promises.

"You... You've always been more like a mum to me, more than my mother ever has," You admit to her through small sobs, shuffling around to be face to face with her as you move to rest your head on her chest, "Thank you for never giving up on me or leaving."

Leahs' heart cracks just that little bit more as she smiles sympathetically, "Your my kid, regardless of blood or not, and I love you so so much," She speaks from the heart, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, "The day I met you, it felt like one of the best days of my life and I feel so grateful to be a part of your life, kid."

"I'm grateful you're a part of my life too, Le," You murmur quietly, your voice is hoarse from how much you've been crying but you really do mean what you say, "I wish you were my mum instead, you wouldn't abandon me like she did." You admit, your voice is still no louder than a whisper so you're not sure if shes' even heard it.

"I'd love to be your mum as well bubs, you deserve so much better," Leahs' response is nothing but the honest truth.

Your eyes start to flutter shut, "I really wish it could happen." 

Somehow you feel closer to falling asleep, you don't know what it is but you feel that with the presence of Leah there with you, it's a lot easier to fall asleep.

"I'll make it happen," Leah whispers, still running her slender fingers through your hair gently, "Get some sleep, yeah? It's been a long day."

There wasn't any response from you as you'd somehow managed to fall asleep in that short space of time.

"Bubs," Leah peers her head over slightly to see you fast asleep and she can't help but chuckle fondly, "I mean it when I say it and I'll keep that promise, kid. You're never going to be alone again." She states, firmly.

The blondes' heart aches so much for all the crap that you have had to put up with through the years and now she'll do anything to make it better.

"Sleep well, bubs. I love you," Leah whispers, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of your forehead as she pulls you closer towards her, allowing you to sleep practically on top of her, allowing her to lie there and think through things with the determination of a way for you to finally be happy.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Overprotective PT 3

!kinda proofread!

Hope you enjoy the last part :)

Don’t forget to throw in some request!

-🩷

(They will be a few time skips)

**

I sat on the dining table down stairs slowly eating my breakfast as the boys were running around trying to figure out stuff and brining their bags down. My bag was already brought down by the help of I.N who didn’t seem as mad at me like the other guys were. So, there was no need for me to go upstairs anymore.

My head phones were on and I was eating up some bacon, eggs and potatoes Leeknow had nicely cooked for me knowing that my stomach normally acts up whenever we had to travel. Which was really sweet of him really.

The house was noisy like usual. People were walking in and out of the house. Chan was running around with papers and passports in his hands in one corner obviously stressed. Hyunjin and Han arguing about who was taking what skincare, leeknow helping I.N figure out his airport outfit and Changbin, Felix and Seungmin were taking selfies to post on bubble.

Once I finish the meal the cars pulled up in our driveway and I grabbed my heavy bag trying to carry it to the car but completely failing. Stupid stylists and packing sending me all these clothes (joking I’m totally thankful for all of them)

"Here let me help you." I.N says grabbing the bags and carrying them into the car. I say a small 'thank you' really appreciating the fact that he didn't stand there and watch me suffer.

We get into our different cars knowing our trio's.

Me, I.N, Felix, then 3 Racha, then Leeknow, Seungmin and Hyunjin. Like always. It didn’t change unless there was some type of security problem. Our car was the loudest in normal occasions but today due to the circumstances, the car ride was quiet.

No one dared to speak a word. I felt myself slowly shutting down because I was so tired because of the lack of sleep.

We had been learning the new choreography the past week and barely got enough time to sleep. Even the boys started to complain about the amount of hours we were putting in.

The sleepy red eyes and eye-bags were the biggest signs.

I was struggling to stay awake there was no lie there. I grab my energy drink and start sipping on it. Hoping it could atleast get me through the walk through of the airport.

By the time we arrive I had finished the drink and put the can in the car trash bin and got out of the car with the boys.

All the fans lining up outside, probably thousands, screaming our names and trying to get a picture or look.

"Let's go this way." The guard says shielding us from the paparazzi's flash lights.

We follow him and meet up with some of the boys making our way to the front of the airport where we all stood in line and waved. Waved at everyone and took some pictures.

I could hear the burning questions of the paparazzi about the pictures from last night. The yelling growing louder and louder. Some were horrible and others were way too insensitive.

"Just ignore them, yeah?" I.N says in my ear and I quickly look over at him nod. Nobody could see the tears that hid behind my glasses. Thank God.

I just knew I had to act normal and act like nothing was getting to me because if I did it would be suspicious if the person in the picture wasn’t ‘actually me’.

"Alright shall we?" The manager motions for all of us to follow him and we do. We follow him all the way through into the crowd and into check in.

"It must not be her it those pictures from last night then. What a scam! Her hair is blonde!" I hear some people whispering in the line that was right next to us.

"Poor girl! All the hate she's getting online is so saddening. Atleast now we know it's not her." The other girl replies while tapping on her phone.

The hate I was getting? What hate was I getting?

I questioned and pull out my phone and scroll through the new articles that read.

"New photos from last night FAKE!" I sigh in relief as people were actually believing it wasn't me in those pictures. Chan was right.

I was happy for a little while until I scroll onto twitter where things started to actually get out of hand.

I start reading each and ever comment under my hashtag. #straykidsY/n

"I knew she wasn't Idol type!"

"This is honestly disgusting how could she do that to her fans"

"Does it mean to at she's getting kicked out of straykids?"

"I told y'all she was disgusting. Y'all didn't believe me"

My jaw is left hanging and I squint my eyes scanning every single comment in shock. Why were people so mean? Why were men sexualizing me as well? Grown men?

"Y/n. Keep walking," Leeknow whispers in his scolding tone. “Your slowing down.” I try and pick up my pace and when we make it past the check in point. I quickly put my phone away and wipe the tears that had fallen.

The heat under my sweater was starting to get to me. It felt like I was slowly suffocating. It felt like the walls were crashing in.

I start to sweat as I access the way we're going.

A lot of people in the airport were staring at us. A lot of eyes were watching us. Watching me probably.

Probably thinking I'm the worst or thinking of how I would like it in my panties. Disgusting.

My hands grow sweaty and start to slowly shake. I feel my legs grow weaker. We're almost at the private jet. We're almost there.

If I can get to the jet that's all. That's all I need to do.

But the icky feeling of throwing up starts to crawl in my stomach. I start to slow down which causes Leeknow to scold me again but I can't, I can't walk. It feels like I'm slowly being pulled into the ground.

"What is it?" Leeknow says holding onto my hand. This causes everyone to also stop even the guards and staff.

"What's wrong?" He looks at me worried.

The cold sweat and pale skin worries him even more and starts to worry Chan now who is now walking from the front to the back.

"P-panic attack." I manage to say in short breathes. I'm leaning on leeknow. My breathing getting shorter by each breath.

"What is it? What going on?" Chan whispers. His hand automatically placing on my back.

"I think she's having a panic attack." Leeknow whispers.

"Fuck, Y/n. Listen, you need to breathe and walk so we can get you somewhere quieter." He talks to me softly, “can you do that for me love?” He asks.

I slowly nod and start taking slow steps. The two older boys standing by my side making sure I don't collapse.

By the time we walk into the jet I gasp for air and walk to a corner far from everyone. Leeknow and Chan following me closely behind.

“Do you need some water? Talk to me what’s wrong?” Leeknow asks kneeling in-front of me.

“It’s so hot, it’s so hot.” I start to panic even more.

My hands rip through my sweater. “Where’s your bag Y/n?” Chan asks and I point by the door. He grabs it and pulls out my small portable fan and points it my way.

A hand on my lap makes me look up. Seungmin standing there looking very worried.

"Y/nie you need to breathe my love. Breathe. Here look at me." He holds my hand and squeezes it. "See your doing a good job. Everything is okay. You don't need to panic okay? I've got you."

The world slowly starts moving at a normal speed again. Seungmin sits by me and pulls me into his arm cuddling me.

"See, there you go baby girl. You're okay now. You're fine." I look over at him and couldn’t help but smile. That didn’t last long when the feeling of nausea hits me really hard.

"I feel sick Minnie,” I say trying to get out of his grip just incase I didn’t throw up I didn’t want to throw up on him.

He furrows his eyes, “What kind of sick love?"

"I'm going to throw up." I take in deep breathes and swallow really hard trying to stop it from coming out.

"Oh my God, hold on let me grab a bag." The sound of panic rises in his voice and he moves to the side. "Chan pass me those paper bags now." He tells him in a hurry and Chan does so.

I grab it out of his hands and start to gag. The gag came with all the breakfast I had eaten. I keep throwing up until my throat and stomach start to burn.

I shut my eyes in pain. A few tears falling from all the exhaustion.

His hand was holding my hair now and rubbing my back waiting for me to empty the contents in my tummy. "Are you done?" I nod my head and he takes the trash bag away.

"Here's water babygirl." Chan hands me the bottle and I drink it then lay on the chair in my eyes slowly closing.

"How are you feeling? Talk to us.” Han pops up out of no where.

"Mmm sleepy." I softly say and I hear a tiny ‘aww’.

"Here are you headphones. Get some rest then in a bit you can have some food yeah?" I hum in response and face the other way so I could fall asleep.

I keep twisting and turning until I can finally get some rest.

*

"Alright welcome to New York!" A big buff guy says welcoming us in the airport. He was accompanied with 2 other big buff guys and a tiny lady.

"You must be BangChan." She smiles and gives him a hand shake.

"Yes I am and these are straykids." He smiles and we all bow saying hello.

"Nice to meet you guys. Okay, so we heard that you guys were tired so we might just do a few pictures outside and then we can head off to the hotels." She says enthusiastically, "Your schedules will be handed to you by my assistant once you guys arrive. Any questions?"

"No not really. No questions as for now. We would like to say thank you for having us and thank you for being our tour manger this time round. We appreciate it. Also as a thank you we braught you some goodies from South Korea." Chan smiles and point to the basket Changbin is holding.

"Oh thank you so much! Please I hope you guys enjoy your stay. If you guys need anything, anything at all do not hesitate to contact me through your managers yes?" Chan smiles at her and we all give her a friendly wave before walking outside to flashing lights and into our different cars.

In the evening a few of the boys came at different times checking in on me. Luckily I hadn’t thrown up or had any other panic attack. I knew they were still mad at me but they wanted to know if I was good or not.

“Why do you guys keep coming to my room if you’re mad at me?” I ask Hyunjin and Han who were the last ones to check in.

“Just because we’re mad at you doesn’t mama we want you to be sick and unhealthy. We still care.” Hyunjin tells me while handing me a cup of warm

Milk.

“True now drink up so we can go for dinner,” I give Han a small smile before drinking the warm milk.

I couldn’t help but still frown though. The unsettling feeling of guilt just lingering in my tummy.

I just wanted my scolding to get over with so that they wouldn't be mad at me anymore and when I was sent a text to go to Chan's room. I knew it was time.

I put on my slippers and quickly make my way to his room and stare at the door.

“God I beg you, let me come out of this room alive. Amen” I whisper a small prayer before knocking.

"Hey you wanted to speak with me?" Chan answers with his laptop in one hand and phone in the other.

"Come in Y/n." He says softly and I walk into his room. Slowly by slowly I notice all the boys seating in different places; on the bed, chairs and tables.

I sigh and take a sit on the chair that was put in the middle of the room obviously for me. It felt like I was in court at this point. A sigh leaves my lips as I wait for them to start.

"Y/n. What you did was the most stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life." Chan says getting serious. His tone getting harsh.

I flinch at this but continue to listen to his scolding.

“Yes Chan I’m sorry.” I softly say looking at the carpet beneath me.

"I am disappointed in you, I really am. I'm not even going to explain to you in depth how much trouble I am in with your parents and JYP. They still think that it wasn't you in that picture because we had to lie and say you were home getting your hair dyed. Your lucky people are eating this shit up." His tone was now getting more harsher.

"As for your punishment,” I take a breath I’m hoping that it would be light, “Your not allowed to go anywhere unless your with the boys. You're grounded for 3 months. All your doing is going for practice, rehearsals and schedules. No where else. Understand?" Fuck.

"Yes BangChan." I say softly playing with the rings on my fingers.

"You can't even be trusted now. All my trust in you is gone. Do you know how many phone calls I've gotten?" I keep quiet. "Answer me, I'm talking to you."

"No Chan I don't" I reply.

"Exactly, so I hope you'll learn your lesson the hard way. Also whoever that little boy is, I never wanna see you with them until your dating contract is over understand? Fuck it I don’t want to see you with any boy at all whether they’re your friends or your bestfriends."

"Yes bangchan."

"Do any of you guys have anything to say?" He looks around the room to the rest of the boys who were giving me very stern looks.

"I hope you really learn your lesson love. We're only doing this because you're still young. You won't get it."

"Yes Hyunjin,"

"Okay now you can go on into your room." Chan says dismissing me.

I slowly get up and walk out of the room and into mine.

Atleast the scolding was over with and I wasn’t thrown out a window. Atleast now they won’t be angry at me.

My knees buckle as I make it into the dark bedroom but I'm able to stay steady. I walk and lay on the bed and scroll through my twitter reading the comments.

I find my self spiraling. The world spinning once again due to the mean comments and threats. I didn’t know why was doing this to myself, why was I reading such hateful things? I need a breather. Some fresh air. Without thinking, I drop my phone on my bed and grab my shoes.

I walk to the hotels stair case and start walking up the stairs.

When I get to the rooftop I sit down and take in the view. It was peaceful and quiet. No one was up there which made it even better.

I wipe my tears that I hadn’t noticed had fallen and start to calm down. Just enjoying the view. Enjoying being alone and taking a short break from people. From the commotion.

It felt like 30 minutes and when I come back down and walk into our corridor I see the guards standing outside us Chan is pacing up and down outside my door.

What were they doing? I question and make my way to them so I could get to my door.

"What's going on?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows.

"Y/n? Oh my God thank God." He sighs in relief. I swear I saw him tear a little too.

"What happened?" I asked everyone.

“It’s okay I found her, thank you though. I don’t know where she was but I’m about to find out. Yeah okay bye.” Chan hands up the phone and looks up at me, "Where did you go Y/n? I told you not to go anywhere without the boys!" He exclaims.

"Chan I just went upstairs to the rooftop. Is that wrong?" I ask him confused than before.

"You were just on the rooftop?" He asks unsure to believe what I’m saying.

"Yes I was. You can check the cameras if you don't believe me." I shrug and pull out my room keys.

"Then why weren't you picking up your phone? You scared me! I thought you runaway!" Hyunjin steps In.

"I left it inside because of all the hateful notifications I was getting," I sigh and look up at the boys.

"Hate notifications?" I.N asks confused.

"Yeah the hate is getting really bad, so I decided to go for a breather. No big deal. I didn't know I wasn't allowed to go anywhere in the hotel premises-"

"No no your allowed, I- I just started freaking out thinking you had run away or something. Go on into your room we'll be there in a bit." I shrug and watch him turn the guards who looked like they had seen a ghost.

Knowing the boys well, they probably had threatened them and cursed every living thing in their life time which I found kind of funny because of how Overprotective they were.

I enter my room and start dressing up for bed and removing my makeup.

When the door opens and closes and a few of the boys walk in. (Felix, Han and Chan) I look up at them confused.

"Would you maybe like to go bawling?" Han says softly.

"But isn't it late and I'm grounded-"

"We'll your grounded starting when we get to Korea. Right now we're in New York. Let's have some fun. My treat." Chan smiles and sits on my bed.

I knew they felt bad and I knew they didn't want me to be alone in the room to fight my thoughts.

"Come on it's a good distraction and we can grab some street food!" Felix chimes and rubs my shoulders.

"Okay fine I'll get dressed." I sigh tired.

"Unless you wanna stay in and watch a movie?" Han says looking at me worried.

"No no no, we can go I'm just a little tired."

"Oh then we're definitely staying in and watching a movie." Chan stands up from my bed and grabs his phone.

"We'll order in a lot of food and then go to sleeep yeah? I'll text the boys."

"Okay that's sounds relaxing."

"Yes it does AND we can finish of that game we couldn't last time."

"Yeah we can."

*

The food was really good and after so many questions about whether I wanted to throw up or not had passed, we were able to all lay in Chan's bed piling on top of eachother.

"I love you Y/nie" I.N says out of the blue and starts to poke my side.

"I love you more than he loves you," Felix jumps in.

"No I do!" Hyunjin says.

"Okay okay I get the point! I love you guys too. I geuss." I tease and they all chuckle.

"We hope your no longer sad about us scolding you, we really do mean well love,"

"I know I know, it's okay I deserved it. I'm sorry for being a handful."

"You're not a handful really, just a growing baby."

"Guys I'm 18, oh my God stop calling me a baby!!" I bury my face into the blankets and they all start laughing.

My little family.

**

[kelppsstuff]

So like what if Adam didn't die and lute managed to come out of the battle WITH an arm?

I want both of them to suffer a little so hear me out

What if our dear reader is an exorcist? So of course she's an angel!

What'll their reaction be if the two witnessed their dear close friend, the sweetest angel and friend they had the fortune to meet in their long lives, sacrifice herself so that the two of them would go back safely? (Forcing herself to go beyond her limits, healing all of their wounds and even opening a portal back to heaven just for the two of them.)

+ the fact that they're both horrible people and the only person who cared for both of them, tended their wounds, always there to back them both up, is now gone?

Angst is calling for me to make the two of them suffer a lil

Omg yes! This is such a good idea! I love making characters suffer! ALSO I do every request so don’t be afraid to send them! And it may take me some time to get to them, but I shall get to them. Sorry it took so long hope you enjoy! By far the favorite thing I’ve ever wrote. Like legit made me cry.

“I’m so fucking sorry!”

Part One| Part Two

Masterlist

Warning: death, angst, cursing

Summery: Adam and Lute watch you die, the only person they loved

—

“Are you guys sure about this? I mean what if her father shows up?” You spoke to the two exterminator angels.

They both looked to you simultaneously and there eyes softened on your worried form. Lute was the first to speak up to ease your worries. “It’s gonna be okay. Lucifer was the one who let us do this yearly anyways.” You nodded your head. She was right but you still worried.

“Don’t worry about it, hot stuff. If he shows up I can handle him.” Adam spoke ever so confidently. “Promise?” You were so afraid for them. Adam walked over and gave you a hug, kissing the top of your head. “Promise.” You reached out for Lute, wanting her to join the hug as well.

As she joined the hug you spoke from between their chest. “After the battle let’s all go and have a beach day.” The two angels laughed and agreed.

—

You hurried to Lute as you so saw her rip her arm off. You never flew so fast in your life. When you got to her you stopped her from flying after Vaggie. “We have to help Adam!” She spoke frantically.

“And I will. You need to sit down and let me help you first.” You sat her on the ground and placed your hands over where her arm should be.

A white glowing light came from your hands as you focused on rebuilding her arm. You started to feel dizzy as blood pooled in your moth. You could see black spots but when you were down Lutes arm had been good as new. You would t even know it’s been severed if not for her uniform sleeve. You two went to stand but the ground rumbled. You looked up and saw a golden light. Adams golden light came down in the middle of the hotel.

You quickly threw Lute away from the beam and got hit instead. A cut was in your shoulder. In went clean through. Your arm was fucking toasted from the severed nerves. You finally blacked out.

—

“Welcome to heaven.” Saint Peter spoke as you arrived at the golden gates. Though you weren’t interested in him, more so the man beside him talking to another female. “Then when the concert was over a BUNCH of girl came to the back to meet me. It was awesome.” The man spoke. You quickly intruded the conversation. “You play in a band?”

The man is what seemed like a mask turned to look at you, while sipping his drink loudly. “Sure am babe! Your looking at the first man!” Your eyes widened, but not because he was first man. “What part in the band do you play.”

You showed no interest in him being the first man. Normally that would piss him off but this time he didn’t care. “Guitarist.” Your smile widened.

You looked to the girl, clearly wanting her to joking the conversation as well. “Are you apart of the band?!” You were so excited and nice. It felt refreshing for Lute. “No.” Her voice sounded cold, though talking to you sparked a warmth inside her. “I’m Y/N.”

Lute smiled and extended her hand. “Lute.” You started to excitedly shake her hand. Happy to make a new friend.

Adam wrapped his arm around you both. “I’m Adam.” Well two new friends.

—

“You guys what?!” You asked, eyes wide at what just came out of Adams mouth. It was a slip up on Adams part. They had just gotten done with the extermination and Adam was use to telling you everything. So he may have slipped up and started talking about the extermination.

“Listen babe. It has to be done.” Adam was worried. Worried that you would get kicked out of heaven if Sera found out you knew.

Lute was the one who explained the whole situation. How the sinners were up-rising. How it needed to be done to protect heaven.

To both Adam and Lutes surprise you understood. It made them happy that you were accepting of it. For the first time they truly felt like someone wouldn’t leave. Sure they had each other before this but there friendly relationship really started from you being there glue.

“Okay babe but now that you know you have to become an exterminator like us.”

That made you nervous but Adam and Lute always stayed with you during it. They also didn’t expect you to kill anyone. All you needed to do was wear the uniform one day a year.

—

You stared at the papers that needed to be done. Since you didn’t kill the demons you demanded to do Adams paperwork.

You slowly blinked. You were tired but you had an hour to finish this and give it to Sera.

A coffee was placed right in front of you. You looked up and saw Lute. You smiled at her and grabbed the coffee. You also grabbed her hand and gave her a friendly kiss on the lips.

It was something you two had started doing recently. A way to give each-other the attention you craved.

Just as that had happened Adam walked through the door. His eyes widened. You were quick to explain it was platonic before he could assume anything. One he understood what happened he demanded you start doing that with him. He demanded the same thing from Lute as well.

As time went on many people believed you were in a poly relationship. But y’all were platonic friends who did romantic things sometimes.

Sure y’all all had sex together quite a bit, but no one ever felt any romantic feelings. It was all friendly and it felt natural.

—

You groaned awake at the sound of Adam shouting. “All of man-kind came from these nuts!” You opened your eyes to see Lute staring down at you, panic in her eyes. You smiled at her. Though your moment was cut short at the sound of Adam gasping. You looked over to him and saw a little maid stabbing him. You and Lute shouted Adams name as your hurried to fly to him. Fuck.

“Adam look at me your going to be fine.” You spoke your tone in confidence despite the tears running down your face. He smiled at his two girls looking over him.

He may have lost two wives, but he gained two best friends he would never replace for a damn thing.

You started to heal his wound with your hand like you did Lutes arm. You could feel pain all throughout your body as you pushed your limits. Your eyes started bleeding as did your nose.

Lute was conflicted as she watched you. She knew you needed rest but she didn’t want Adam to die. All you had to do was save Adam she would get you to a hospital.

But you weren’t making it back.

As Adam eyes opened he felt better than the first day he was made. He looked to Y/N and she smiled at him. Happy he was okay. He went to talk but she fell to his side. Her breath shallow. He hurriedly got up and looked her up and down. At that moment the portal closed and all the angels were gone beside him, you and Lute.

“Fuck babe look at me.” Your eyes were distant but you focused back in on him. Your Adam. Your apple.

“I love you, Apple. I love you too, wild girl.” You said to them both. Making them cry harder. “I love you too. More than anything.” They both said to her simultaneously. You closed your eyes and a portal opened.

“Fuck!” Lute shouted. She knew you weren’t going to make it.

“I’m so fucking sorry!” He spoke loudly as your eyes started to flutter closed. “It’s okay. Be happy. And go have that beach day.” Lute sobbed in her hand as she fell to the ground.

Adam gripped to you harder his tears falling to your chest as he cried silently. He couldn’t shout anymore. “Come back to us.” He whispered. You didn’t complete his wish. The one time you didn’t give him what he wished for.

Your breathing stopped and your halo fell. “I’m sorry baby.” Adam cooed in your ear, as he started to rock the two of you. Begging for god to give him back the one of the two woman he ever loved. You and Lute.

He looked to the sky. “You cruel manipulative bastard! Was a good person. I thought god was supposed to be merciful.” Lucifer watched as the first man shared the same rage he once had with god. “I have never asked for anything! I didn’t ask for Lilith. I didn’t ask for Eve! All I ask is to bring Y/N back to us.” But god did not respond. Leaving Adam to turn his rage to the group watch.

“I will kill you all!” He shouted, the tears coming from his eyes seeming endless. “I will have my vengeance.”

He picked you up as Lute grabbed your halo. The two walked through the portal.

They did have that beach day, but it was your funeral. Where your body was buried where no one could find. Only him and Lute. The two hugged each other as they both lost the person they loved most.

—

OMG I HAVE NEVER CRIED WHILE WRITING SOMETHING UNTIL THIS DAY! But I hoped you enjoyed! And I do take requests so please send away!

- kelp 💛 (someone help I’m dying from heartache)

Taglist

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ invisible scars ୨୧

this was the request sent via DM: 1.fluff

2. Johnnie Guilbert

Hey! I love your writing and I was hoping if you could do one about Johnnie Guilbert x reader where the reader has hyperesthesia and they are feeling sad because of how people don't understand her and take her condition seriously and Johnnie comforts her? It would mean a lot to me since I have struggled with hyperesthesia. Thank you for your time! xx @tacuuuu

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ Jake being a dick lol, mentions of pain, reader being sad

summary: ʚ Johnnie defends your invisible illness ʚ

Words: 950

An: so sorry I have been sucking lately I'm literally dying lol, also there is very little online for hyperesthesia so I did my very best haha 🖤

SUPPORT ME

Your whole body was riddled with the feeling of pins and needles. It was numb with pain, the occasional burning sensation coming in waves across your body. It was the third and last day of Coachella weekend two, and your body was wrecked.

You had more caffeine and boos than your body could handle. It was about 2:30 and it was time to start getting ready and pregame. Your muscles felt like they were guitar strings that had been played too much.

You took a deep sigh tightening the snuggly soft blanket you had wrapped yourself in. You sat not listening to the conversations around you. “Y/n!!” Tara shrieked looking at you. You reluctantly moved your head up to look at her. She was halfway done with her makeup already and had her hands placed on her hips.

“I'm sorry Tara but I'm probably not going to go tonight. I will just crash into Airbnb,” you mumbled with a sorry expression. “Y/nnnnn!” she whined, turning around to keep getting ready. “I know I know, I’m sorry Tara.” you apologized flopping back on the couch.

Suddenly you heard the door open, you peeked out of your blanket to see Jake and Johnie walking through the door. A small part of you was so relieved to see Johnnie. You knew he would understand like he always does.

He is always there for you, his touch seemingly a remedy for your pain. You sit up and pout watching Johnnie move his way to you. Jake opens the fridge and pulls out a drink. “Hey, sweetheart,” Johnnie mumbles, wrapping his arms around you.

You sink into his touch, feeling your nervous system calm down. “Bad pain day?” he asks as you close your eyes. You take a deep breath milking this moment in. “Yeah, not sure what brought it on,” you mumbled, Johnnie kissed your forehead humming against your skin.

You opened your eyes and smiled at your boyfriend. You took in his outfit. God, he looked so damn fine. “Shit, you're looking like a smoke show,” you remark, eyeing him up and down. He rolls his eyes with a grin.

Jake walks over to the two of you while wiggling his hips back and forth. “You two crazy cats ready to have one hell of a last day?” he asks while taking a sip from his drink. “Oh, I'm not going anymore,” Johnnie says nonchalantly. Both you and Jake snap your heads towards him.

“No way Jose!” Jake says, putting his hand on his chest in shock. “What?” you ask, pulling away from Johnnie’s arms slightly. “You're in pain. You need to be taken care of today. I'm not just gonna leave you.” he said, meeting your eyes.

“Nuh-uh, you're joining us!” Jake yelled out looking at Johnnie. “Johnnie, don't ditch them!” you whisper screamed. “Y/n you're having a bad day I'm gonna be here for you,” he promised.

Your heart swelled with adoration at his words, an equal part of guilt. Your worst fear was coming true. You were dragging others down with your disability. “Dude y/n says it's fine! Just come get drunk.” Jake says encouragingly.

“No dude,” Johnnie says calmly, just shaking his head. You felt a little awkward sitting there now. You had never ever wanted to make other people suffer from what you go through. Your heart clenched with anxiety.

“Jesus Johnnie it's not even that bad. Y/n still does stuff all the time! They went on a run the other day!” Jake moaned dramatically, bending his knees for emphasis. You cringed at his words. While it was true some days you had energy others you certainly did not and this was one of those days.

Before you could defend yourself Johnnie was quick to step up. “Dude that's not how it fucking works. Not everyone's issues are visible, you know that. They are at real risk with their blood pressure being so high. So no I'm not going I'm going to stay and take care of my girlfriend ok?” Johnnie says, his eyes open wide with anger.

Jake had looked like a kicked puppy. He looked over at you with a small sad smile. You had almost forgotten you were there for a second, finding it hard to believe anyone as incredible as Johnnie would defend you like that.

“Hey um, I'm sorry y/n I swear I didn't mean it like that. It's totally ok if you need rest some days, I was being a little bit of an idiot.” Jake sheepishly admits. You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out. You shoot a quick glance at Johnnie before you look back at Jake.

You take a deep sigh before calming him down. “Don't worry man. If I could change it I would,” you mutter before standing up and making your way to your ‘bedroom’.

You sink into your bed, no longer feeling the comforting touch of Johnnie. And thankfully it wasn't long before he walked into the room. You didn't turn to look at him at all, you just let him walk over to the bed.

You hear shuffling for a minute before the bed dips down with his weight. His arms wrap around your torso pulling you into him. You let your eyes close as his comfort slowly dulls the numbness in your body.

“Thank you,” you mumble against the pillow. “Of course,” he says softly. “You will never be too sick for me. I'm always right here,” he mumbled a second later. Neither of you moved, but you could swear when you were having a better you would tell him how greatful you were.

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[lieslab]

Drowning

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Jeongin X fem! reader

Summary: After you suffer a miscarriage, it feels like the entire world is ending and nothing will ever be the same.

Genre: Comfort/hurt with angst

Word Count: 2.8K

Trigger warning: Miscarriage, child loss, depression, mentions of stillborn baby and all the effects that come with life after pregnancy.

A/N: I know I have requests waiting to be written, but this idea keeps buzzing around my head like a fly which leads me to believe that there's someone out there struggling with this. If you need it, I hope this finds you and I'm sorry because this is a different kind of hurt. Requests shall continue after this one, I promise.

_ _ _

People always talk about the pregnancy glow. They talk about the radiant skin and bright eyes. The aura of happiness surrounding the mother and the pep in their step. There’s a joy in bringing a new life into the world, but they don’t talk about what happens when it doesn’t work out. 

Laying on the floor of the nursery, you couldn’t understand why. Why did people get to bring a new life into the world, but not you? Your baby never got to see the way the world looked outside the womb. There were no colors and no sounds. Not the gentleness of a mother’s voice or the warm cradle from the father. 

Miscarriages didn’t happen to everyone, but it happened to you. After excruciating stomach cramps and bleeding, you went to the hospital. The worst part? You already knew. You knew something was wrong, you were just hoping the motherly instincts were wrong. You were hoping it was just your nerves. 

You’d go in and the doctor would see you. You’d be checked on and so would the baby. You’d get to hear the faint walloping of the heartbeat and you’d be relieved of all your worries while soaking it in, but…that didn’t happen. 

You saw it in the nurse’s face when she was pressing the ultrasound wand against your stomach. She excused herself from the room to get the doctor and you just knew. That little soft pitter-patter was gone and so was your everything. 

That glittering glimpse of a future you held onto slipped between your fingers. When the doctor sat on the stool, picked up the wand, and began to slip it across the cool gel on your stomach, the world seemed to stop. Before she spoke, you saw the sadness physically fill her eyes. 

The part where she explained your options became muddled. You couldn’t remember it, but somehow Jeongin showed up and entered the room. His teary eyes went to you and that’s when it finally clicked in your brain. Your baby was gone and they weren’t coming back. 

The messy finger-painted photos, you envisioned decorating your fridge, would never come to fruition. Memories of the baby shower and all the baby stuff you had would never be used. The clothes would remain folded in the small dresser and collect dust. 

That baby book you purchased with Jeongin, it’d never be used. The little hats and the conversations about newborn photos, gone. 

Gone. Gone. Gone. 

Everything was gone. 

The two of you hadn’t settled on a name. You both wanted the gender to be a surprise. Caught up in a mist of sadness, you still didn’t know the gender. The memories were hazy and nothing quite made sense. 

You remember screaming at Jeongin and then screaming at the doctor. Anguish gripped your heart until it burst. When a peach cup got thrown at the doctor’s head, nurses got involved. 

You remembered Jeongin’s teary russet eyes. The hand he kept over his mouth to stifle sobs as you lost it. He hadn’t just lost the baby, he lost you too. You turned into a shell of yourself. 

You stopped speaking and Jeongin had to practically beg you to eat. It was the doctor and Jeongin that decided giving birth vaginally wasn’t the best idea for you. They decided a C-section was a better option, but in your opinion, the best option would have been to let you rot with your baby. 

You were possessed by grief and didn’t know how to separate yourself from it. It wrapped around your wrists and pinned down your ankles. It wrestled in your stomach and tainted your bloodstream. 

It was easily the worst thing that you had ever been through. There was just a moment when you felt peace. When your baby had been slipped into your arms, swaddled in a soft green blanket. 

Tendrils of hair poked out of a hat that a nurse had stuck on their head. The pouted lips were pressed together and their eyes were shut. The color was drained from their face, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. 

The weight of their body in your arms felt normal. Your heart briefly bloomed before it withered again. You remember Jeongin standing somewhere off in the distance. His eyes glanced between the two of you as he held his breath while hoping that you’d be okay. 

A smile broke out on your face as you cooed softly. Your voice remained low because speaking too loud would wake them up. For a brief moment, you forgot that they were gone. You didn’t care about how stiff they were in your arms. How their tiny heart didn’t beat and their chest didn’t rise. 

During that moment, you were a mother. You would do anything to protect the bundle of joy in your arms. You’d give your life for theirs, but they were already gone. You clung to them and refused to let go. Even when Jeongin quietly tried to coax you away from them, you refused. 

He hated it because he knew how much it’d destroy you. The truth was that you had to say good-bye. You couldn’t stay attached to your baby. The skin would disintegrate and smell. It would rot away and your baby would wither in your arms. No matter how much you pleaded, he wouldn’t allow you to go through that. 

When you fell asleep clutching your baby to your chest, he managed to ease them from your grip. He knew how upset you’d be when you woke up, but it was for the best. Grief tends to do funny things to people sometimes. 

After waking up, it didn’t take long for nurses to sedate you. Your stomach was full of stitches, but you didn’t care. You were too pumped full of pain meds to realize the pain. 

It took nearly a week before Jeongin could bring you back home. Your house was haunted when you got there. The baby swing was still in your living room. Baby bottles were clean and neatly stacked in the cupboards. 

You bought new picture frames to add photographs of your baby to the photos around the house. You had plans to put one on the nightstand beside your bed. Unfortunately, there was nothing left. 

You couldn’t sleep on your stomach. You were haunted by your womb. You could feel how empty it was now. No tiny kicks and no punches. When you gently cupped below the stitches, your eyes watered. 

Out of all the people in the world, why did this happen to you? Why weren’t you good enough to make it through the pregnancy? You only had a few months left and that’s what made it really sting. 

You were so close and yet so far. Was it something in your body? Was this some sort of curse? Was it a sign from the universe that you weren’t meant to be a mother? 

Jeongin woke up to soft distant sobs that night. He started to feel his way around the darkened house and he found you laying on the floor of the nursery. You clutched the stuffed bear that the two of you had bought for your child. 

It was going to be their childhood stuffed animal. One that they could grow up with and clutch onto through their worst days. Maybe they’d take it with them everywhere when they were a toddler. Perhaps it’d be invited to tea parties or walk the plank while playing pirates. 

You weeped and clutched it to your chest. In the faint moonlight, the tears were illuminated on your face. In the nursery doorway, his heart shattered. You were a mother going through grief and he didn’t know how to help you. He couldn’t take away this loss, it was too big for him; much too large to physically carry with two hands. He couldn’t wrap it up and toss it in the trash, it was opaque  

You laid on the soft large circular rug that the two of you had claimed was for tummy time when your kid got older. Your arms wrapped around your chest with the stuffed bear. Your knees were tucked up towards your chest. You were exhausted and broken. 

Nobody talked about the weight of the grief from a stillborn birth. They didn’t tell you that you’d still go through lactation. Your breasts would still produce milk and it’d soak your bra. There’d be no tiny mouth to feed. No child to nurse and help grow big and strong. 

They didn’t tell you about the severe stomach cramps that sometimes were as sharp as knives and the ones that were dull and tortuous as your uterus reshaped itself internally. 

They didn’t talk about the hollow feeling inside your body. Knowing that you had attempted to carry your pregnancy to full term and then failed, you felt useless. You felt broken and you were so exhausted. 

If love could have saved them, they would have lived forever. You would have built them into the best person they could have been. You would have cherished every moment and remind yourself that you were a kid once too when the tough moments came, but now they never would. 

You and Jeongin spent hours fixing up the nursery for them. How ironic that you had picked a Peter Pan theme. You knew that your child would grow up one day, but you had been hoping that it wouldn’t have been too fast. How cruel it was to have them ripped away before they could take their first breath. 

You spent hours on that white rug, digging your fingers into the soft fibers, trying to put together disconnected thoughts. Your brain had disconnected from your body. The world was blurry and you weren’t sure how to continue going on. 

Jeongin was worried sick about you. So worried that he had to take off work to keep an eye on you. He was terrified that you’d harm yourself. You laid there on that rug with empty eyes. 

Whether you realized it or not, you kept talking out loud in a quiet voice. You kept discussing motherhood and he was pretty sure you were consoling the baby that didn’t exist anymore. When he first realized it, he had to turn around and leave you alone. Walking into your shared bedroom and shutting the door, he collapsed on the bed defeated and burst into sobs. 

The two of you were polar opposites during the whole scenario. You were orbiting around each other, but never touching. Your doctor told him that you just needed time. 

So he waited and he waited. He supplied you with store-bought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and juice boxes. It was the only thing he could get you to eat. He came up with any reason he could to walk past the door of the nursery to check on you. 

On and on the days went until one day, you weren’t lying on the floor anymore, you were on the rocking chair. Unsure of what he was seeing, he froze in his spot before he went closer to the door and peeked his head inside. 

“Jeongin?” You croaked as you looked up. 

He paused for a moment before he slowly approached you. “Hi, honey.” 

“I don’t feel good.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

You shook your head. Tears began to fill your eyes again. Despite your body language, you continued. “How do I make it stop hurting?” 

“What?” 

“The ache of losing out on motherhood.” 

He slowly stretched a hand out towards you. Your fingers reached out and grabbed his. He pulled you up and led you towards the rug. Without a word, he got down and plopped down on his side. You followed his lead and curled up on your own side facing him. 

A silence fell between the two of you as you observed each other’s faces. You couldn’t remember the last time you laid next to Jeongin like this. The two of you had been distant for far too long. 

He reached out with a thumb and slowly wiped away your salty tears. You sniffled and kept your eyes on him. The truth was that you really were lost. You felt empty and useless. There was nothing inside of you. You didn’t know when the last time was that you remembered your own beating heart. You weren’t even aware that you were still breathing. 

“You didn’t lose out on anything,” he whispered. “Sometimes things like this happen, but we can always try again.” 

“I don’t think I want to try again.” 

“You don’t have to try again if you don’t want to. The most important thing is helping you feel better. Are you okay?” 

“N-No,” your voice cracked, “I’m hollow. I want to bring them back and I-” You squeezed your eyes shut knowing the floodgates were about to burst. “What did I do to deserve this?” Your voice came out shrill. “What did I do?” 

The knife had been lodged in his chest for weeks, but those words twisted it. He could feel the blood mix with sadness. He hated seeing you so broken. 

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes these things happen unplanned and it’s not your fault. You did your best, remember? Remember how you refused to eat seafood because of the baby? You even gave up coffee because you said caffeine was bad for them.” 

Your eyes reopened. 

“Do you remember how you read children's books every night before bed out loud? You used to sing to them every morning in the shower. I remember that you used to curl your hands around your stomach protectively while cooking.” 

A smile began to form on his face. He could see the gears starting to shift in your head. “And you used to lecture me when I drove a digit higher than the speed limit. You promised you’d never let me live it down if we got in an accident.” 

“And you said we could never be sexually intimate because y-” 

“I was afraid that we’d traumatize the baby.” 

It was a miracle that you started to laugh. The tears were still streaming down your face, but you were laughing. The sound was a melody to his ears. His grin stretched wider and his dimples showed. 

“What about that time you spilled food down the front of your shirt and some got on your stomach? You apologized to the baby for getting them messy.” 

“I guess I did, huh?” 

“So please don’t think you weren’t a good mother. You did what you could for them even if they didn’t make it out of the womb. They still heard your voice.” 

“And your singing,” you added. 

“We would have been the best parents in the world. Remember when I finger painted a smiley face on your stomach when you were sleeping? I took photos and you woke up whining and upset and you claimed I had painted on the baby.” 

“Because you did!” 

“I didn’t! It was your stomach!” 

“The baby was in there!” 

“And your skin protected them!” 

The two of you bickered back and forth until you burst into a fit of shared giggles. You shifted and moved closer to Jeongin’s warmth. Your head tucked into his shoulder. You let out a soft sigh and he wrapped an arm around your back. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled. 

“You know I love you, right?” 

“I love you too.” 

The two of you laid on the floor curled into each other appreciating the warmth. It was nice to be connected to your lover again. You spent so long away, you forgot about how much he felt like home. As the two of you continued laying there, your stomach suddenly growled. 

“Uh…honey?” 

“I hate to break this up, but can we go get Subway? I really want a sub. Maybe turkey or ham or oh! I know, maybe I’ll just get both.” You quickly sat up and got to your feet. 

Behind you, Jeongin watched you in amazement. He was happy that you were starting to act a bit more like your old self. It wasn’t going to last forever and you’d still struggle sometimes, so would he. 

However, with each other, there was a high chance that you could help each other through it. Through thick and thin, sickness and in health, until death did you part. 

After all, that’s what the matching wedding rings on your fingers meant. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Masterlist

Taglist, and inbox rules

[cillianhead]

Some sub!Neil Lewis would save my life right now I think 💋😋

Oh my gosh! Ask and you shall receive. I'm so excited this is my first request <3

(Also I'm so sorry if you didn't want this to be smutty, I'd be more than happy to also write some fluffy stuff!)

Pussy-Whipped || Sub!Neil Lewis x Reader

summary: When Gumshoe Video hosts a small Halloween party, Neil can't help but feel disappointed you're not there.

Warnings: SMUT!!! 18+ Minors DNI, pussy eating, vulgar language, possibly poor writing from me (barely edited.), let me know if there is anything else I'm missing!

Neil had gathered a decent sized group of people to have over at the store for Halloween night. It was nothing too major but it was definitely a good sized party. There was plenty of snacks and drinks, couples making out against walls, people debating on whether Christmas was better than Halloween. Really, it was a perfect little party, people were having a great time. Halloween music played, fake cobwebs lined the walls, fake spiders, you know, all that jazz. Later on at Gumshoe Video, there would be a couple of scary movies playing to really celebrate the occasion. Well unfortunately it was missing one key feature.

You.

It left Neil feeling easily irritated and whiny all night. He was all dressed up as Dracula from the 1931 film. The most important piece was missing to him of course. Lucien and Jonathan would tease him for being so grumpy.

"You'd probably give up this store just to see her again, huh?" Lucien was grinning at him, enjoying seeing Neil suffer.

"Shut up, man," Neil just smiled uncomfortably, sick of their teasing, nudging Jonathan with a huff.

"You're pussy-whipped." Jonathan said before Neil slipped into his office, which was strictly off limits during the party.

You had already made plans with some of your friends, weeks prior. Some halloween party that was also a birthday party for a good friend, you promised Neil though that you would show up to the store afterwards. He was starting to doubt you would.

Neil always worried you thought he was too lame or you were way too out of his league. You would roll your eyes every time and just give him a reassuring kiss.

Feeling down, he sat in his office chair, swivelling around and twiddling his thumbs. He missed you, it had been a few days since you had seen each other, both busy with work, he was shaking with anticipation at even the tiniest possibility of seeing you.

To be honest, Neil was a needy little thing. He struggled going even a day or two without seeing you. And oh how fucking his fist could never compare to fucking you. God, even just thinking about your pussy, he could feel his trousers tighten and he threw his head back with a groan.

A zip and a tug could be heard as he slipped his hand down his pants, teasing the tip of his pink cock with his thumb. Whining quietly, precum staining his cotton briefs. Fuck, he didn't expect to be walked in on, touching himself like a pervert.

"Neil?" Your voice. He quickly swivelled his chair back around, facing the doorway to look at you like a deer that had been caught in headlights. Neil just coughed, trying to act casual, trying to pretend he hadn't just been thinking about having your tits in his mouth. But he knew you knew.

"H-Hey!" He looked you up and down, a sheepish smile and flushed cheeks as he looked at what you were wearing. A white corset, laced up tightly, hugging the perfect curves of your body. A sorry excuse of a dress tightly clinging to your skin underneath it, your hair had been pulled down out of the hairdo you had it in previously so it fell messily over your shoulders and white stockings adorned your thighs. He could cum looking at you then and there. He wasn't really sure what you were supposed to be but he didn't really care at this point in time.

"What were you up to, my love?" Sauntering over to him and rounding the table to get closer to him. Neil looked up at you like a lost puppy as you sat down on the edge of the table. The smell of your perfume made him feel like he could pass out, you were intoxicating. "You miss me?" "Yeah... yeah... I did..." Neil nodded dumbly, looking at your pretty lips that he hadn't gotten the chance to taste in oh so long. "Missed you so much, you've all I've been thinking 'bout." You held onto his chin, smiling at him knowingly.

"Looked everywhere for you, thought you'd be out with the rest of the party, Neil baby."

"S-sorry... I just..." His head hung low, feeling embarrassed for being so needy. "I just really missed you... didn't feel like hanging out with any of those people..."

You just kept smiling at him sweetly and his eyes watched as you casually shimmied down your panties, sticky and wet as you tossed them behind you. The skirt of your dress didn't cover the sight of your bare cunt and as you leaned against his desk, spreading your legs for Neil to see better in the low light of his office, he didn't hesitate to dive right in, knowing what to do. Desperate to taste you, like a dog that hasn't eaten in weeks. He moaned at the taste, eyes rolling back in his skull as he was gifted with your wet pussy against his face.

"That's fuckin' it," You moaned, letting your head lean back as he made out with your pussy. "Show me how much you missed me, Neil..." Your mouth was agape, he always ate you out like his life depended on it.

Your fingers in his hair, pushing his face deeper into your soaking core only encouraged him further, causing him to groan into you. Your clit fit perfectly between his pretty lips as you desperately ground your cunt against his face, his nose just perfectly caressing you. His tongue poked inside you, flicking up to the spot where you needed him most.

"God! Fuck... you're such a good boy... so good for me...!" Gasping out. This was all Neil needed, he didn't care if he wasn't allowed to get off for the rest of his life, as long as he had you, to touch and to taste, he didn't care, you were all he needed. The sound of you whimpering loudly made his cock throb, he felt like he was close to cumming himself. Neil always described it as heaven on earth, when you came on his face, he felt like he had accomplished all he was good for. "Want me to cum on your face, pretty?" You let out, sensitive and so turned on seeing Neil down on his knees, looking so content with life as he sloppily ate you up.

"Please..." He mumbled obediently before letting you continue to fuck his face. His tongue was pressed flat against your clit as you came, further wetting his face, what makeup he had on for Dracula now smudged across his face and your inner thighs. He kept slurping your juices up until you tugged his face away. Glistening and a dumb dopey smile on Neil's face was the sight that met you.

"I missed you so much, baby," Still recovering, you leaned down and gave him a gentle loving kiss. His tongue flicked out to the corners of his mouth, licking the juices that were still on his face. "You did so good." He blushed at the praise. You always thought he could never look prettier, red cheeks, big blue eyes, and your cum dripping off of his nose and chin with that big satisfied smile.

"I love you..." He whispered, placing a small kiss on your clit before standing up and connecting your lips once again. "Love you so much..."

-

Hope you enjoyed :)

[marvelmusing]

Heart’s Desire

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Corporalki!Reader

Summary: During a journey along the southern border, the General inhales pollen from a mysterious plant, and you seek to ease his discomfort.

Warnings [18+]: smut, unprotected sex, sex pollen (so technically dub-con but they both consent), intentional orgasm denial, lots of made up Corporalki stuff for smut purposes

My Masterlist

“General Kirigan?”

You can hear his heart rate spike at the sound of your voice, more so than it usually does. From inside the tent his voice sounds hoarse as he calls out your name in questioning.

“Can I come in, sir?”

There’s a long pause, and your own heart hammers in your chest as you wait. You hope that he won’t dismiss you, you can hardly bear the thought of him struggling through this alone. Straining your ears, you hear him sigh before he relents,

“Yes, come in.”

Pushing the heavy black tent flap away from your body, you step forwards, and walk into his private tent.

His kefta has been discarded, tossed onto a chair carelessly. His boots are lying haphazardly on the rug near his bed.

Then your eyes land on the man himself. He’s sitting in front of the war table in the centre of his tent. The candlelight reflects the soft shimmer of sweat that glosses over his skin. His shirt has been almost fully unbuttoned and the cream fabric hangs loose over his chest. When his darkened eyes meet yours, the sound of his heartbeat leaps in your head.

His eyes drop down, roaming over your form, before he snaps them shut. His fists are clenched tight, his knuckles white from the strain.

“The pollen you inhaled; it was from the Concitatio Concitationis plant.”

The plant isn’t native to Ravka, you had been surprised to see it on your journey. The General had mentioned that the route he had planned would briefly take you over the border in Shu Han, but you had expected danger to come from enemy soldiers - not plants. Certainly not a plant that increases sexual arousal to the point of pain.

He nods, his jaw tense as he avoids looking in your direction. His restraint is impressive. You’ve heard of people being driven to madness, pouncing on anyone who could help them through the symptoms. But the General seems determined to suffer through this alone.

“I can help you with the symptoms.”

His head jerks harshly, his eyes widening with surprise as he searches your expression. Your cheeks flush and you stammer to explain yourself.

“I mean, I’m both a Healer and a Heartrender. If anyone can help you, it would be me.”

He grits his teeth, shaking his head, struggling with each word as a bead of sweat rolls down along the line of his throat towards his chest.

“The symptoms last for twenty-four hours. I couldn’t subject you to suppressing them for that long.”

“And I can’t leave you to suffer for that long.”

He sighs as his eyes flutter closed again. His shoulders tense as you step closer.

“Please, just let me try,” you plead softly. He holds your gaze for a long moment. Then he nods with a small sigh.

You shrug your own kefta off, bright red with a mixture of black and grey embroidery, and place it on the table.

Sitting down on the edge of the table, near the General, you concentrate on the aphrodisiac in his blood. You slow his heart down to a more relaxed state and begin to draw the pollen from the plant out of his system.

Some clarity returns to his features, and a thrill runs through you at your success. Glancing down at the map you almost sat on, you decide to put his mind on something other than the sensations flooding his body.

“Is this the rest of our journey?”

He nods, fingers trailing over the details of the mountains inked onto the pages.

“I had hoped to reach Caryeva by tomorrow afternoon. Instead, we’ll make camp here until the symptoms pass.”

He seems reluctant to stop your journey for his sake, and you hasten to ease his mind. Reaching out carefully, you brush a strand of hair away from his forehead.

“The men are eager for a rest, and we have the resources for another day of travelling.”

His head tilts aside as he watches you, which shakes you out of whatever had possessed you to do such a thing. The corner of his mouth quirks as he observes the flash of embarrassment in your eyes, and you turn your concentration back onto the task at hand.

You’ve always been a particularly strong Corporalki. It was why the General had allowed you to master both Heartrendering and Healing. It had made you one of his most powerful, and trusted, soldiers.

From an early age, you had learnt to suppress the feeling of people’s bodies around you. Whether they were hungry, or tired, or needed the bathroom. Sometimes your control slipped, but it was only a minor awareness of people’s bodily needs.

But feeling the General’s arousal is almost too much. To sense the blood rushing down between his legs, to see how hard he is, pressing uncomfortably against the fabric of his trousers. Not only does your heart ache to ease his discomfort, but other parts of you are eager to satisfy him.

“I may have miscalculated this,” you admit as a warm flush rushes through your body.

“How so?”

You grit your teeth as your core begins to throb with the desperate urge to be filled, and you can’t help but stare at him. The General has always been so handsome, with his dark eyes and rich, thick hair. The prickle of his stubble would feel incredible against your thighs, almost as incredible as his lips would feel against your dripping cunt.

You swallow hard as you realise where your thoughts have taken you, and hurry to explain your situation.

“I haven’t been easing the effects, I’m sharing them with you.”

He stills, eyes meeting yours carefully. You can’t read the emotions and thoughts swirling in his dark eyes as he processes what you’ve told him.

“Come here,” he commands, and before you can formulate a response, his hands are tugging at your body. He pulls you flush into his lap, and a soft moan falls from your lips before you can stop it. His body is warm and solid against yours and you can feel every inch of him.

You can sense the blood pounding around his body, heavy with the aphrodisiac, and you can feel it flooding down between his legs where his cock stands hard and thick. The heat of it presses against your core, and your hips slide forward eagerly.

His hands grip your hips hard, and you whine petulantly when his hold prevents you from moving. Even in such a state, weakened with arousal, he’s so much stronger than you.

He cups your face carefully, bringing your eyes to his. His voice is almost a whisper as he demands,

“Give it back.”

You shake your head.

“No.” He huffs and sweat beads down your forehead. You shiver as you feel more sweat run down your back. “I won’t let you fight this alone.”

He says your name sternly, and you shudder in his arms, fingers curling tight into the loose fabric of his shirt. It’s been so long since he’s said your name - it’s always your rank, or your surname. He sighs heavily, before he whispers your name, almost softly.

“Give it back to me. I can take it.”

You whimper, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, but you’re not changing your mind. In all honesty, you’re not sure if you’re capable of removing the aphrodisiac from your own blood.

“No.”

His grip tightens on you.

“If you don’t, I may- no I will.” He groans, words failing him as images of what he wants to do fill both of your minds. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not. You won’t,” you insist, breathing heavily as you cling to him. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.” You pause for a moment before you add quietly, “And I think you have too.”

He breathes out a small laugh, and your brows furrow in confusion.

“You think?” His grin is almost boyish, and your heart flips at the sight. “You mean you haven’t noticed my heart pounding every time you enter the room?”

“I-” You struggle to think of a response, because of course you had noticed. “I didn’t want to pry.”

Amusement sparkles in his eyes, and you ache with need. He looks so normal, so attainable. Not like the fierce General that you’ve followed and protected for several years. In that moment, you both come to an agreement.

He brushes his nose softly against yours, but his grip is still firm on your waist, keeping you pressed against his bulge. He’s fighting the effects of the pollen, in an attempt at being gentle with you.

“I wanted this to be different,” he admits breathlessly as you unbutton his trousers. You nod, your eyes hazy with desire as he tugs your shirt off.

“So did I.”

He groans when his cock is finally free from the confines of his underwear and trousers, and you swallow a moan at the sight of him. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, breathing out sharply, and gripping the arms of his chair. The wood creaks between his fingers.

Pushing up onto your knees, you tug your own trousers and panties down, revealing your slick coated thighs and your sopping cunt. When you look up, his eyes are closed tightly.

“General?” you whisper. He shakes his head.

“Aleksander.” Your eyes widen at the sound of his name.

You both know how intense the symptoms are, and that the true frenzy hasn’t hit either of you yet. Aleksander’s jaw is tight with tension, he’s still fighting his instincts, and with the concern in his eyes you know he’s afraid of hurting you.

Sliding your palm up over his chest, you can feel his heart pounding under your touch, a familiar beat inside your head. He’s thinking far too much and will only continue torturing himself if he doesn’t stop.

“Kiss me, please.”

There’s an edge of desperation in your voice which prompts him into opening his eyes. Seeing you, almost completely naked in his lap, has him choking on a moan.

Then his lips are on yours without hesitation. The force of it nearly has you falling from his lap, but his arms curl around you quickly. One hand grasped onto your hip, the other settled on the small of your back. Your own hands slide into his hair, tugging on the dark locks as his mouth moves against yours.

Your bodies work in tandem, grinding against one another as you kiss furiously. The hand at your hip drops lower, fingertips brushing between your soaked folds, and you whine at the sudden attention. He slides his finger inside you in one smooth motion.

With each moan and whimper from your lips, Aleksander ensures the sound is muffled by his mouth and you’re panting every time your lips separate. He curls his finger inside you, and you squeal, your toes curling in pleasure.

“Aleksander.”

You whine, and he pushes another finger inside you. The control over your power has slipped completely. Not only can you feel every inch of Aleksander’s fingers driving into your wet heat, but you can feel the throb of his aching cock, desperate to fill you to the brim. The frustration he’s feeling claws at you.

It’s too much, and not nearly enough. He stretches you open with his fingers, groaning at the feeling of your cunt clenching around his long digits.

In the very back of your mind, you appreciate him having the forethought to ease you open. As soon as you had opened his trousers, you had thought of nothing but having him inside you. Even on the brink of sexual frenzy, Aleksander is conscious of your comfort. Meanwhile all you want is for him to fuck you against his war table.

“Ready, lapushka?” he asks, his voice almost wrecked with arousal. The pet name flies completely over your head, but something in your chest tingles with a pleasant buzz. You nod.

“Yes Aleksander, please.”

Lifting your hips, Aleksander soon guides you onto his cock, and the two of you moan loudly as you finally get what you need. He rolls his hips once he’s fully seated inside you, which pulls a gasp from your lips as the head of his cock brushes against your most sensitive area.

You try to match the slow thrust of his hips, but soon the pleasure overwhelms you, and all you can manage is a weak buck of your hips. His lips trail over your collarbones, and up the curve of your throat. Aleksander groans, gripping onto your hips and jerking your body up and down on his cock.

He’s certainly deep enough inside you, but the angle isn’t right. Aleksander lifts you up, and you whine when his cock slides out of you. You’ve barely had enough time to register that you’re sitting back on the war table, before Aleksander is thrusting into you.

You choke on a gasp, nails digging into the fabric of his open shirt, the only leverage you are allowed as your legs dangle over the edge of the table.

It’s likely there will be bruises along your waist in the shape of Aleksander’s fingertips, and a thrill runs through your lust-addled mind at the thought of wearing his marks. The metal of his ring digs into your flushed skin, and the coolness of the material sends a shiver over your entire body.

“I’m close,” he warns you, and you manage to wrap one of your legs around his waist, driving him deeper into you.

“Please,” you plead, wanting him to finish inside you. He shakes his head slightly, as if he doesn’t want to climax so soon.

His jaw tenses, and you can’t pull your eyes from his beautiful face. You know a climax will help to break the frenzy, and you can sense him getting closer to the precipice, his pleasure tingling under your own skin.

“Can you hold it off for me?” he asks quickly.

A sound of confusion leaves your lips, and your brows crease together as you frown. Why would he want you to delay his pleasure? In an instant, he’s answering your unspoken question.

“We’ll finish together.”

He thumbs over your clit, and you clench hard around his cock. Clinging to the hairs at the back of his neck, you concentrate on the sensations in Aleksander’s cock, holding onto his pleasure as your own begins to peak.

He groans, and you know he can feel you lengthening the approach to his orgasm. You chant his name, over and over, as he continues to rub your clit, all while thrusting deep inside you.

Shadows pool over the floor, as the General’s own control over his power slips. The candlelight dims, and the shadows over his face lengthen, making his features even sharper.

“C-close,” you gasp, throwing your head back against the table. His forehead drops down, pressing hard against your collarbone. The invisible hold you have on both of your climax’s shatters, plunging the two of you into blissful euphoria.

Stars burst behind your eyelids, and you cry out, clenching around Aleksander’s cock, milking every drop of him as he spills inside you. He manages a few more weak thrusts, before he’s leaning down over your body as you attempt to catch your breath.

Such pleasure has gifted you both a moment of clarity, and you find Aleksander’s eyes immediately. Sweat clings to both of you, but the intense burning under your skin has eased. Reaching out, you brush a lock of hair away from his forehead, as he ghosts his thumb over your cheek.

He leans down, pressing a tender kiss to your lips and your heart flips in symphony with Aleksander’s.

“How are you feeling?” you ask him. He rolls his hips slightly, a smirk quirking at the corner of his lips as he hears you inhale sharply.

“Better.”

Breathing out a small sigh, you nod in agreement as he pulls back slightly, and you moan when you fill his spend slip from inside you. Then he pushes back in, watching your expression carefully.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You shake your head quickly.

Already, you can feel his cock hardening inside you, and you surprise yourself when your hips roll to take him deeper without any prior thought.

Aleksander breathes out a laugh.

“Perhaps we should continue in the bed?”

You laugh weakly, surveying the state of you both. One of your legs is free of your trousers, but the fabric is still tangled around the other leg. Tattered black material is all that remains of your panties. They must have been ripped, either by your thighs or Aleksander’s hands, at some unknown point. Aleksander’s own trousers have slid down to his ankles. His shirt is half off his shoulders, and the front of it has been torn by your nails.

It will be several more hours before the pollen will have been completely removed from your systems.

You smile is wide as you concede,

“That might be a good idea.”

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @rachlovesactors​

[yeonjuns-beanie]

Party Monster

warnings: 18+, established relationship, smut, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, sex on someone else’s bed, marking, voyeurism, jealous dalton

summary: you convince dalton to go to a halloween frat party with you. after concluding that the party was nothing you thought it would be, you guys decide to make more of your experience.

a/n: im so sorry for this taking so long, life got in the way and i was suffering from such terrible writer’s block. i hope i did your ask justice! i may be a little slower when it comes to requests n stuff now due to uni starting up and me working on another fic atm. anyways, i hope you enjoy and have a great day/night! ~nero

word count: 6.8k

dalton lambert x female reader

“You have got to be kidding me?”

Dropping your shoulders in defeat, you looked up at the ceiling before stomping over to Dalton similar to that of a three year old. Grabbing his hands, it urged him to look up at you, only to be met with a pout that you knew was his weak spot.

“C’mooon. I think it would be fun! At the very least, we can people watch and make fun of the morons there.”

“Oh, and be just as bad as them?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, knowing Dalton was getting a kick out of using your words against yourself.

“Besides, I can’t imagine Nick would want to see me anymore this semester.”

That was your in. That’s how you can get him to go.

“Okay, but it’s a costume party. We can put you in makeup or you could wear a stupid mask or something and they literally won’t know that it’s you. Pleaseee, Dalton. I think it would be fun.”

It was Dalton’s turn to sigh now. He had already given in when you asked in the first place he just enjoyed giving you a hard time. He liked knowing you wanted him. It filled him with that warm fuzzy feeling that had him battling cuteness aggression every waking second, but also had him warding off feelings that were much more indecorous.

“Fine, we can go. But what are we gonna be?”

Squealing in excitement, you ripped your hands out of his and brought them up to cup his face, placing multiple kisses on his lips. Pulling away you thanked him profusely, needing to express not only your excitement but your gratitude for him tagging along with you.

“I’m glad you asked. I was hoping you’d be okay with Tiff and Chucky?”

Dalton didn’t say anything he just looked at you. A look that was hard to discern. You couldn’t tell if he hated the idea or was thinking of something else. Dalton was quick to ease your mind as he finally spoke.

“You mean, that asshole gets to look at you looking all sexy?”

Your brows furrowed, “What asshole?”

“Nick.”

“Ohhh.”

Moving away from in front of Dalton, you flopped on his bed next to him, your arms starfishing across the mattress. You smiled to yourself trying to lessen it by rolling your lips around your teeth. Taking the hand closest to Dalton, you raised it up and ghosted slowly over his back.

“Well, it’s not like Nick gets to touch me. He can only look.”

Dalton rolled his head dramatically to look down at you, trying his damnedest not to give in to your antics. Looking down at you though, he could never hold his moue for as long as he wanted to. All of his other emotions of lovesick admiration overshadowed his feigned annoyance.

“Not like it makes it any better.”

Sighing, you sat up on the bed and moved to straddle Dalton. Cupping his face, you held eye contact with him that was so intense it would probably make any other person crumble. With Dalton though, you could see the hearts forming in his eyes as you stared him down. A softer, more pouty version of possession swimming in his irises.

“You know I only want you right? No amount of staring, flirting, or whatever could take me away from you.”

You didn’t give him a moment to respond, flushing your lips against his in a kiss that was nearing the edge of searing. You found it endearing how small flashes of his possessiveness would flare up at the mere thought of someone else taking you in. It made you feel wanted and it lit a fire in you every time it happened. His jealousy was silent, brooding, and somewhat submissive but always present.

Dalton’s hands roamed the sides of your body as he melted into your kiss. Soaking up every bit of you any chance he got. As the kiss became more heated, your hands wandered down to his collarbone slowly snaking their way to the nape of his neck and tangling your fingers in his sandy brown locks. Dalton’s hands landed on the rough fabric of your pants, finding enough play in the material to knead the plush fat of your ass.

Puppeteering your body in his hands, he rolled your hips against his and you could feel the small tent forming in his pants. Pulling a small muffled moan from you, you pulled away in an attempt to catch your breath as well as to cool down the now sexually charged atmosphere. Dalton peered up at you, eyes blown.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Cause we have to go shopping for our costumes and if we don’t stop now we won’t stop.”

Standing up from his lap, you began to walk over toward your bag to signal your urgency to leave. But before you could take a full step forward, Dalton wrapped his fingers gingerly around your wrist and pulled you back toward him.

“What if I don’t wanna stop?”

“Daltonnn.”

He was staring at you so smugly. You knew what he was doing and you knew you had to be stronger this one time. You couldn’t give in or you definitely weren’t leaving his dorm for the rest of the day.

“C’mon baby, we can finish what we started when we get back. But the party is tomorrow and I don’t want us to have to get all our shit tomorrow.”

Dramatically groaning, Dalton lifted himself to his feet and waited for your cue to leave. Grabbing your bag, you turned around to look up at him. A made up tune forming with your words.

“Love youuu.”

Dalton hummed and rolled his eyes, kissing your forehead in response. Grabbing his hand, you guys left his dorm and you pulled out your phone to order an Uber to the nearest Halloween store. Walking towards one of the main parking lots on campus, you placed your pick up spot and waited.

With only a few minutes passing by, the car pulled up and the two of you climbed into the backseat. Buckling yourself in, Dalton’s hand quickly found purchase on your lower thigh rubbing gently on the inner side of it.

The ride to the Halloween store was short which you were thankful for because you weren’t sure how much longer you could ignore Dalton’s hands on you. Thanking the driver, you got out of the car a sudden rush of excitement coursing through you as you looked at the building in front of you. You had many pleasures in life but one of the ones that you cherished the most was the popup Halloween shops. The joy you had centered around Halloween never failed to make you feel like a kid all over again and you wished you could feel this way for more than just the first half of the fall season.

Walking into the store, you almost forgot Dalton was tailing behind you as your excitement dragged you through the store wanting to browse through all the new items that were featured in this year’s lineup. Noticing the Halloween section, you saw a sweatshirt that you simply couldn’t ignore. There were homages to the movie adorning the sleeves and the front and back of the sweatshirt.

“This is so cool!”

Dalton came up behind you, taking the sweatshirt into his own hands.

“Yeah, it is.”

Trailing down the sleeve of the pullover you found the pricetag and hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t that it was too expensive, you just decided you would come back and get it after you got paid because you knew you needed more than a few things for your matching costumes first. Walking away you motioned for Dalton to follow you to the section you needed, but what you didn’t see was Dalton grabbing the sweatshirt as you turned around, his own plan in motion.

As you guys circled the store one last time, you decided that you had everything and made your way to the checkout. You went up first laying out all your items and Dalton was called up to the other cashier. Getting your bag full of items, you walked over to Dalton and he was grinning at you as you guys walked out of the store. You didn’t realize how much time you guys spent in there until you were met with the colors of dusk painting the sky. Focusing your attention on Dalton again you cocked your head.

“What is it?”

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out the top half of the Halloween pullover you were looking at. Your eyes widened a delighted shock not expecting that to be the reason behind his grin.

“Dalton! You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to.”

“I was gonna come back and get it next week.”

“Well, what if they don’t have it next week? Now, you’ll for sure have it.”

You stepped closer to hug him, thanking him as you nestled into his frame. Pulling away from him, Dalton motioned over to one of the food joints in the shopping center that you were in and you both decided that you should grab something before you headed back to campus. As you guys were waiting for your food, you ordered another Uber so that by the time your food would be ready, you’d be able to get in the car relatively immediately.

Your timing was impeccable because right as you guys walked out, your ride pulled up right out front. Laying your bags in the backseat first, you and Dalton filed in after making sure to hold everything in your laps. Getting back to campus, you suddenly felt a wave of tiredness wipe over your body. Dropping your bags by the door, you set the bag of food on the small table in the back of his dorm. You guys ate in a comfortable silence and you relished in the domestic nature you were sharing.

Wiping your hands off with a napkin, you threw your empty container back in the plastic bag and leaned back in your chair. Dalton mimicked your movements and a small smile crossed his face as he looked over at you warmly.

“Wanna just sleep here tonight? You look pretty tired.”

Closing your eyes, you nodded contently.

“Can I wear one of your shirts?”

“Course you can.”

Helping yourself to one of his drawers, you found one of his oversized shirts and changed. Leaving your clothes in a pile on the other bed in the room. Climbing into his bed, you made yourself more than comfortable in his space, wrapping yourself in his blankets. Bending your head to look back at him, you were met with a soft closed mouth smile.

“I’m coming.”

Nodding, you slowly let sleep blanket itself over your eyes and body and drifted away to a place of peace. If only you knew the reason why he didn’t immediately follow behind you was just so he could admire your soft form as you slept. So that he could keep the mental image of his forever ingrained in his mind. Somehow, his body reacted before his mind and he found himself sketching the image in front of him. Believing that the only way he could truly savor the moment in front of him was to immortalize it with charcoal and a piece of paper.

~*~

As you woke up the next morning, the sun that peeked through the window was a little warmer than usual signaling to you that you most definitely slept in and missed your class. As your sleep ridden body moved to wake up a little further, your face nudged against Dalton’s body. Your moving around rustled Dalton out of his sleep and as he slowly blinked his eyes open he muttered a small morning and rolled back onto his side. You chuckled to yourself,

“I'm almost positive it's past noon, but yeah good morning.”

Worming around Dalton’s body, you crawled out of bed and walked over to the table to swipe through all of your notifications on your phone. Seeing the time, you surely had enough time to make it to your next class, but you awarded yourself the liberty of skipping. Your justification was that you hadn’t missed one class this semester so one day wouldn’t kill you.

As you put your phone down, you noticed the sketch laying idly on the desk. Taking a closer look at it, you realized it was of you. A soft expression displayed across your face as something warm and similar to muffled elation glowed in your chest. Dalton pushed himself up from the bed yawning and not yet realizing that you had seen the drawing. Walking over to Dalton you gave him a quick hug and announced your leave, grabbing all your things before you headed to the door.

You wanted to give yourself enough time to get ready and not feel rushed, knowing that every time you got ready you never really stayed on track. Catching strays from time blindness, breaking out in song and dance, and the irresistible urge to just lay down in your bed midway through. Walking through the halls of Dalton’s dorm, you made your way across to the other dorm building, taking the elevator up to your floor.

Making your way into your room, you immediately flopped on the bed, mentally taking note that you’d start getting ready in half an hour. Scrolling on your phone, you blinked those 30 minutes away, groaning as you forced yourself to start your routine. Every time you got ready to go out somewhere, you always wondered if you actually enjoyed the whole ordeal. You always came to the same conclusion, you did, you just hated the process.

From the attention you garnered from whatever outfit you conjured up, to deciding what asset of your body you’d accentuate or the makeup you decided to do, you’d be lying to say you didn’t enjoy it all.

Hours ticked by and the sun began to tuck its bright body behind the mountains as you added the finishing touches to your makeup. Dotting a beauty mark above your lip, you glance over your face feeling more than satisfied with the outcome. Digging through the plastic bag, you pulled out all the items you got the night before. Pulling your fishnets over your plush thighs, you admired your curves staring back at you on the mirror you had hanging off your door.

Grabbing the white tutu, you shimmied it over your hips and you felt a certain wave of excitement flood through you as you wrapped your body in the white corset. You fixed your boobs so that they were bordering on spilling out of the top, and cinched the waistline as much as you could so that it still snatched your waist but allowed you the freedom to breathe.

You were pulled out of the trance of admiring yourself as you heard your phone vibrating on your bed. You had a few messages from Dalton, the last one asking if you could help him with his hair. Responding to him, you slipped into your platform Doc Martens and threw all of your essentials for the night in a small clutch that you knew you wouldn’t lose. Shutting off the light in your room you made the short walk over to Dalton’s building, basking in all of the eyes that were ogling your form. There were a few low whistles and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes.

Knocking on Dalton’s door, you were staring at the floor when the door opened. As his eyes landed on you, they widened and quickly he attempted to rest them trying to contain his thoughts. Looking up as the door opened you smiled at him, excited to see him in his costume and his makeup mostly done. Walking into the room, you set your stuff down on his bed.

“So what did you need help with?”

Dalton didn’t say anything, but the shaking of the colored hairspray can made you turn around.

“I didn’t think I could make it even if I did it myself.”

You motioned toward the desk so he could sit down and you could help him with his hair. Taking fairly large pieces, you sprayed the color a little further than normal so that the color wouldn’t crunch and cake around his strands of hair. You got a little closer with color when you sprayed his roots framing his face. Feeling complete with your job, you now settled for dramatics just spraying randomly and not really on his hair just more in the air.

“Viola!”

Dalton stood up and seeing him in his full attire was doing something to your brain. The bloodied stitches on his face, the ragged nest you turned his hair into, and the bloody knife he had curled in his fingertips. Albeit, plastic and very much fake, all of the details were unlocking something in your brain that you didn’t pay much attention to until this very moment. His voice pulled you from your thoughts before they got too detailed in the lewd direction they were going.

“Do I look ok-hey I know that look.”

You shook your head so lightly that it could’ve been mistaken as a twitch but Dalton knew better.

“I take it you like it then?”

He walked over toward you, wrapping his hands around your waist to bring you closer. With the loss of space between you two, it was hard to move your gaze anywhere else but him. Feeling stuck under his gaze, the smugness on his features was becoming grossly aware to you and you opted to push him away dramatically, not ready to admit your truths to him.

“C’mon, we should get going anyway. I don’t want it to be too crazy when we get there.”

Grabbing your bag and his hand, you headed way for the door and made your way out of the building. With the sun now gone and night fully taking over the sky, the slight chill of the October air made itself very known to you thanks to your lack of clothing. As you neared the frat house, you could feel the bass of the music almost rattle the earth beneath your feet. There was a slew of people out of the front lawn, people congregating on the front balcony of the house, and some poor bastard was hunched over in a set of bushes meeting his demise quite early in the night.

As you and Dalton reached the front lawn, a frat member was holding a tray of what looked like jello shots.

“Care for a brain?”

You glanced at the small plastic cup and were genuinely surprised to see such effort put into a jello shot. Let alone for it to have been made by a bunch of meathead college bros. Not even thinking twice, you grabbed a shot and tongued the jello out of the cup making an obnoxiously loud slurp when it fully separated from the plastic and plopped in your mouth.

What you didn’t notice was the jaundiced glare your boyfriend was giving the frat member as the boy frantically switched between your tits which were on the verge of spilling out and the way you were tonguing the shot. Putting the cup back on the tray, you looked at the boy through your lashes silently telling him that you knew exactly what you were doing and there was nothing he could act on because your boyfriend was hanging off your arm.

Looking back to Dalton, you motioned for him to grab a shot as well.

“Make sure you grab one, babe. Might be the only thing we get our hands on.”

Dalton softened his gaze at the sound of your voice but still, he didn’t drop his focus off the frat boy. Picking up the plastic, he began to take a step forward, but you nailed yourself in place still stuck on the boy. Your voice was dripping in satin lust, wanting to sweeten up the boy and rile up Dalton to get him right where you wanted him.

“Mind if I take another one?”

This time the boy gave you a very animated nod as his gaze flickered behind you in the direction of Dalton. Turning around, you saw nothing out of the ordinary so you picked up another cup and squeezed the boy on his bicep.

“Thank you…?” you paused, waiting for him to give you his name.

“...Chase!”

“Thank you, Chase.”

Now Dalton was pulling you toward the entrance of the house, wanting to be anywhere else than where Chase was. He knew people would look at you, how could they not? You were strikingly beautiful and of course, you looked even more tantalizing when you had yourself done up with makeup and an outfit that would leave anyone speechless. The problem lied with Dalton not being able to fight that feeling in his chest when he was watching someone else take you in for only a fraction of what you were worth to him. They didn’t deserve to look at you in such a way.

As you reached the stairs of the house, you halted your body again to stop Dalton in his tracks. When his arm jolted back with you only then did he turn around and you saw all the emotions swarming his mind and face. Pulling him closer to you, you brought his hand up that was still holding the small plastic cup.

“Take it, might ease your nerves for a little bit.”

Punctuating your words with a feather light kiss on his lips, you watched his shoulders relax as he took a deep breath and brought the cup to his mouth, tonguing the jello out the same way you did. As you watched him you felt a familiar pang of need squeeze between your thighs but you quickly ignored it, not wanting to leave so soon. Dalton scrunched his face at the taste of the alcohol and tossed the cup somewhere in the grass. Frowning he looked at you.

“How did you drink that so easily, tasted like straight acid!”

Looking down at the second cup you grabbed you thought he was being dramatic. This time as you removed the jello from the cup, you kept your eyes on Dalton the whole time. Your eyes holding a vampish intent. Tossing the cup in the same direction once you emptied it, your eyes blew wide in surprise as you swallowed.

“The first one did not taste like that, what the fuck?”

You coughed, trying to get the harsh taste out of your mouth. Looking toward the front door, you realized there was probably some type of punch inside that would drown on the existing taste.

“Let’s go in.”

When you and Dalton pushed through the corridor of the house the music rattled your chest, there were lights strung up on every possible place. Little ghosts and pumpkins lighting up the room with an ambient orange color. As you pushed through the people you found the kitchen and a massive tub full of red liquid and various fruits. A stack of red solos was next to it and you poured both you and Dalton a glass, filling yours to the brim while his still had a little room.

Guzzling down half of your cup, you refilled a bit more before you motioned for you and Dalton to move to the main room where it was a pile of bodies moving against each other in tandem with the music that was bouncing off the walls. Dalton was slowly sipping away at his drink while you downed another half of your drink finally feeling the combinations of alcohols course through your system.

You moved closer to Dalton so now your bodies were right on top of each other and you moved to the varying beats. The more you moved, the closer you got to grinding on him, and the more prominent the pool in your underwear was getting harder to ignore.

You wrapped one arm around his neck, bringing his head down to meet your forehead and your lips ghosted one another’s causing your breathing to get a little heavier with want. Dalton pulled away from you and yelled out over the music.

“I’m gonna go refill!”

Nodding, you took his wrist as one was holding the cup and the other was occupied by his prop knife. Reaching the kitchen again, you left your cup on the counter leaving the remaining contents in it up for grabs for whoever wanted it. With each step you took back to the kitchen you felt yourself straying further from your inhibitions and becoming more acquainted with your bodily desires.

As Dalton filled his cup up halfway, you clung your body to his from behind. Wrapping your hands around his waist, you let one of them ghost over the front of his overalls, your hand sliding right across his dick. You felt Dalton stiffen up at the action and you would’ve continued but a whistle from behind you caught your attention.

Standing up straight, you turned around and your eyes met Nick’s in a half assed Dracula costume. With his plastic party fangs dangling off his index finger you realized he was the one that cat called you over the music. In your drunken daze, you failed to realize the way you were hanging off of Dalton gave anyone behind you a perfect view of your fishnet clad ass peeking out from your tutu. You felt Dalton straighten up behind you, his hand coming to rest on your hip.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You couldn’t help the way your face moved when you were drunk. It was involuntarily submissive. Your eyebrows constantly furrowed upwards, your eyes were always wide trying to hide how inebriated you were, and your lips were always slightly parted. When Nick approached you two, you gazed at him in a way that any sober person would confuse for interest.

“You’re a pretty little doll, aren’t ya?”

You felt Dalton’s hand tighten on your waist as if you were gonna run away from him. You tried to pretend like you weren’t as drunk as you were but your body outran your mind. Within seconds you were overly smiley with Nick, responding probably too excitedly for Dalton.

“You think so?! I thought I made a very pretty doll too. But! I wouldn’t be such a pretty doll if it weren’t for my Chucky.”

You turned your body almost posing for Nick and his friends as you placed your hands flat on Dalton’s chest and looked behind you. Your eyelids grew heavy with want while you flaunted you and your boyfriend off. Turning back to face them you pointed to your chest, putting a spotlight on the fake ‘Chucky’ tattoo you drew hours before.

“See, I’ve got his name on me forever too!”

Nick and his friends erupted into a fit of giggles at your drunken displays of affection but Dalton was not enjoying a single second of it. Wondering if you were doing this on purpose or if it really was just you having lost all sober obligations. Dalton again put his hand on your hip and squeezed your side trying to discreetly get your attention. Whipping your head back in his direction his plans were foiled.

“What is it, baby?”

Dalton awkwardly laughed and shook his head saying that it was nothing. But the quick flash of attention on him allowed Nick to recognize who your “Chucky” actually was.

“How did you get in here again dude?”

For the first time in this entire interaction, Dalton finally piped up.

“It’s not like you have a bouncer at the front door.”

“Maybe I should if it means your weird ass is gonna keep coming around.”

Shaking your head, you started waving your hands in the air to get the two men's attention off of each other. Stepping closer to Nick so you wouldn’t have to yell anymore, you smiled as you spoke.

“I promise, no weird shit tonight! He honestly didn’t even wanna come, but I made him tag along with me.”

Stepping back toward Dalton, Nick snuffed extra air through his nose, and a tight lipped smile spreading across his lips, he spoke again his attention focused on you.

“At least you’re prettier than his last one. Don’t know if I could stand looking at two clowns again. Even if it would be fitting for tonight.”

Again a chorus of almost robotic giggles came from his surrounding friends and suddenly your good mood was bruised by his insult.

“Have fun tonight then, the both of you. Especially you, dollface.”

Nick ended his words by taking his thumb and index finger to raise your face to look up at his before he walked away. A scowl took place of his previous smile as he leveled out his gaze to be face to face with Dalton. As Nick and his friends disappeared into the crowd you turned around to Dalton suddenly feeling kind of gross after Nick touched you. The lasting bit of the interaction sobered up your mind just enough to where you could feel the change in Dalton’s energy.

Dalton quickly chugged the rest of what was in his cup, needing a little more liquid courage to power him through what he was about to do. Setting the empty cup on the counter, you placed your hands on his shoulders trying to not only stable yourself but also to get a gauge on his vibe. When Dalton finally looked at you, you could tell he was pissed. So when he grabbed your hand and began dragging you through the crowds of people you assumed it was because he wanted to leave. But when he took you to the staircase your brows furrowed in confusion.

“Where are we going?”

You were met with silence. And as fast as Dalton was moving through the house, you were close to tripping over your own feet. When you reached the top of the staircase, Dalton made a beeline to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. Opening the door, he left it wide open as he pulled you inside mumbling to himself.

“Can’t believe he touched you.”

Looking around at the walls you realized you were in Nick’s bedroom.

“What?... Dalton, why are we in Nick’s room?”

You waddled over to Dalton wrapping your arms around him. Beginning to speak, he cut you off as he gently brought his hand under your chin, your eyes being hypnotized by his own.

“Baby, why are we-

“-We’re in his room because I want him to think about this every time he lays his head down.”

Before you had a chance to question what he meant, Dalton had rushed his lips onto yours, suffocating you with his need. Surprised by his sudden movement, you grabbed onto him, your hands docking on either side of his face deepening the kiss.

Dalton walked your bodies backward so that your knees would buckle once they hit the edge of Nick’s bed. As your body fumbled onto the mattress, Dalton leaned you back caging you underneath him. You moved your body backwards to the center of the bed and Dalton followed your lead. He broke your kiss only to start a lecherous assault on your neck. Letting your head roll back, you leaned into the feeling of his lips on your body.

Every time his lips left your skin, they left a raging fire in its wake that sent rapid signals to your core. Reminding you, that your feelings were being wildly amplified by the amount of alcohol rushing through your system. You didn’t have the capacity to control the moans that were evading your mouth you were just completely soaked in the feeling of Dalton. As Dalton trailed his body down to the valley of your breasts, he slowly unhooked each latch of your corset watching how your soft, plush skin escaped the confines of the fabric. His hand drew a line down from your collarbone to your sternum before tracing a path around your tit, slowly teasing around the sensitive skin. Before you had the chance to whine about the lack of feeling, his fingers pinched and rolled your nipple while his mouth encased the other one.

Rolling your hips up to his, you felt his hardened cock brush against your clothed heat. Your breathing escalated, the adrenaline of the brewing carnality becoming more apparent to you as you lost yourself in the feeling. Your hand webbed itself in Dalton’s hair feeling the tackiness of the hairspray stick itself to your fingers. Dalton popped off your nipple, a string of spit following his mouth leaving a brisk chill on your skin as the string broke and settled onto your skin.

He placed kisses along your chest but they slowly turned into bites and the closer Dalton got to your neck, the more the bites turned into hickeys. Bright red markings identifying you as undoubtedly his.

“Dalton, I need you.”

Dalton pulled away from you to take in your lust stricken form, admiring you in such an obscene way. As your eyes found his, you could make out how dilated his pupils were even in the low light of the bedroom. Leaning up to kiss him, your hands traveled to the buckles of his overalls unhooking them with ease as you slid the rest of the fabric down as much as you could.

You grabbed the bunch of fabric and used it to pull him closer to you so that you could feel some type of friction from his bulge that was being hidden. Breaking the kiss, you needed to vocalize your need for him because he wasn’t moving fast enough for you.

“Baby, please. I-

“You think he knows how to fuck you like I do?”

In your coveted daze, you didn’t register who ‘he’ was right away. If anything you had forgotten about Nick and your interaction with him entirely once he walked away from you two. Your lack of response drove Dalton to become impatient, allowing himself to be overcome by his jealousy.

“Flirting with him like that. You think he could make you feel as good as I do?”

Dalton was dry humping you, making it all the more difficult to form a coherent response for him as you were being influenced by your own lubricity.

“I-I wasn’t fl-flirting with him, I swear!”

“Sure, you flashing him this tattoo on your tit wasn’t flirting.”

You were tripping over your own words, unable to form a believable excuse. You didn’t want to give up the fact that maybe, everything you did tonight was on purpose. To have Dalton rough you up a bit and make you feel small with his need for you. His voice ripped you from your thoughts letting new ones take place.

“And you did it in front of me, little slut. You knew it’d get me like this, didn’t you?”

You couldn’t bare the waiting or interrogation any longer. You need him to touch you. You needed to feel him on you, inside of you, you just needed him. So you confessed.

“Yes! I did, I did. I just wanted you to remind me that I’m yours. I need you so bad.”

Dalton let his overalls slide down to his mid thigh and he removed his underwear just enough so that his rosy tipped cock could spring free. Your cunt fluttered around nothing as your eyes landed on it, fantasizing already about the feeling. Dalton snaked his finger down to your slit, swiping up to graze across your clit and your body shuddered at the feeling. Squeezing around nothing yet again.

“You’re soaked, baby. Getting off on me being mean, yeah?”

“Fuckk! Yes. Please, I need you inside of me Dalton. Only you.”

You were so horny that you were about to start grinding against the air to just imagine something subsiding your wanton ache between your legs. Maybe it was the begging, maybe it was the mental connection you shared with him but suddenly, Dalton grabbed your legs and dragged you to the edge of bed. His fingers tangled themselves in your fishnets ripping a hole right at your crotch. Pulling your panties to the side he teased his cock at your entrance.

“You want it?”

“So fucking bad, baby.”

Out of instinct, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he slowly slid himself into your hot, seductive cunt. The stretch of his cock was sapid and had you rolling into his hips trying to fuck yourself on him discreetly. Your back was arched and your nails were digging into the sheets so tightly that you thought you heard a rip. When Dalton bottomed out inside of you your moans were at full volume, most certainly echoing off the walls of the room, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care seeing as the music downstairs was so loud. Dalton set a pace that was feral and unrelenting, your pussy clenching erratically as the tip of his cock abused that soft rigid spot inside of you.

As your moans grew in frequency, Dalton leaned down into your neck sucking more hickeys into your skin that wasn’t already tainted. Your hands left the bed and opted to curl your fingers into Dalton’s shoulder, his shirt protecting him from the crescent moons your nails would’ve left. He could feel that you were arriving at the peak of your arousal, picking up his speed, you two were torn from each other as a voice bellowed into the room.

“What the fuck!”

Dalton didn’t stop moving, but when your eyes landed on Nick standing in the doorway of his bedroom you couldn’t stop your body from the overwhelming rapture it felt as you jumped headfirst into ecstasy. Your body was twitching in ardor, your saintly cunt squeezing around Dalton as your eyes flickered between the two men. Dalton turned around to Nick, a sense of dominance that you’d never felt from him before dripping from his tongue.

“Thought you’d want to see your doll laid out on your bed–what’s wrong? Wish it was you instead?”

Dalton cracked a smile that was so dissolute and prurient that it removed you from all resolve to retain any form of modesty. Your cunt begging for more. Your hand reached up grabbing at Dalton’s shirt and you whined out for him, making a spectacle for Nick.

“Fuck me again. Please please, Dalton. I need it, I need to feel you cum inside of me. Paint me as yours.”

Dalton smiled at you as he felt your walls fluttered around him as you begged.

“Yeah? You like him watching me ruin you?”

You nodded frantically too fucked out to form anything clearly besides a needy ‘please’. Dalton began fucking you again and as you looked down to watch his cock rush in and out of you, your head fell back into the bed. Opening your eyes, you glanced over at Nick who was still frozen in the doorway. You raised your hand to wave goodbye to him with just your fingers, but before the sentiment could be registered, Dalton pulled out of you and flipped you onto your hands and knees.

“Stop entertaining him. One cock not good enough for you?”

His hand found purchase on the back of your neck, pushing your face into the comforter your lipstick definitely staining the fabric. Dalton continued to piston out of you, but as his thrusts became more unsteady you knew his climax was near. You couldn’t see but Dalton turned around again to see Nick walking back into the hallway and as soon as he was out of his sight you felt his hot seed flood your walls.

As Dalton pulled out of you, he rolled your body over onto your back so that he could engulf you in a searing kiss. He slid your panties back over to cover you fully and allowed you to sit up so that you could stuff yourself back into the corset. Fixing himself into his clothes he kissed the top of your head.

“Now when he sees us walk out, you’ll still have me inside of you.”

You felt a different heat rush up to your face that wasn’t from the alcohol. You sighed and when you looked up Dalton had his hand out for you.

“Let’s go home?”

You nodded.

“Yeah.”

Following behind Dalton, you let him lead you out of the house. When you made it out to the front steps you saw Nick leaning against the house staring out to the lawn. When you passed by him he looked up as you turned around to face him. A wide grin spread on your face as you waved to him knowing there was no way you could worm your way back in that house ever again.

[moonydustx]

Love me

masterlist | requests here

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: a sudden breakup leaves you questioning what could have happened to Bucky, until you discover he just wanted to keep you safe.

Warnings: a little angst, drama, smut ( p in v, f receiving oral, dirty talk) A lot of tears, but with a happy ending. If I left something out, just let me know.

WC: ~ 3k

A/N: Just an excuse to write about make-up sex with Bucky. No beta, sorry for possible errors as English is not my first language. Also, I'm not used to writing smut, but I hope you like it.

Requests here!

"You need to leave." Bucky asked, without even looking you in the eye.

"What does that mean Buck, did something happen?" you tried to touch him, but Bucky dodged your hands. "What is happening?"

"This mission made me think of many things..." he sat in the kitchen chair, Alpine didn't take long to pass between his legs, waiting for a caress. "I wasn't made for this life, for this." he pointed to the small space between you two.

"Wait, what do you mean?" your voice was already trembling when trying to at least understand what was happening. "Are you breaking up with me? Buck, two days ago everything was perfect, what happened? Please, I need you to explain."

"I already told you, I just..." for a second he looked at your face. The thick tears that ran down your cheeks made him feel his own throat close. He would have a few more reasons to hate himself after that. "I can not do this anymore."

"Is this your best explanation?" you charged and he just shrugged.

The noise of your engagement ring hitting the kitchen table bothered him, but not as much as seeing you walk out the living room door without even looking back. For the first time in a while, it was his turn to allow tears to flood his face.

One month, thirteen days and a few hours.

Maybe it wasn't the healthiest thing in the world to count the dates of the last time you saw your ex, the fateful day he kicked your ass.

You wish you were one of those people that you get over easily, or at least pretend to be by posting happy pictures on social media, but that wouldn't be you.

Your type was more to isolate yourself and drown in your own sorrows, which was also not possible due to work. You had to put on your best social mask and move on, even if you still didn't believe a word Bucky had said.

"Chef, there's a visitor for you." Tyler, one of your employees, caught your eye.

Before he even speaks, you can feel him watching you. Everyone there knew something was wrong.

"How urgent?" you ask with zero atention.

"It's an avenger, so I assume this is the most urgent we've ever had at this restaurant."

The knife in your hand fell onto the board, a chill running through your body. If it was Bucky, Tyler would have told you, after all, your ex-boyfriend had already spent a lot of nights accompanying you to the restaurant. Could be news about him, maybe not good stuff.

"Annya, can you take over for me?" you asked, hearing a "Yes, chef!" by far.

Your mind ran through different scenarios, the vast majority without a happy ending, while you took off your tame and cap.

The weight on your shoulders disappeared when you saw Sam smiling, waiting for you at one of the tables. As soon as he got to his feet, you hugged him.

"I thought I wouldn't have the privilege of seeing the head chef."

"Consider yourself privileged then, because tonight promises." you settled into the chair across from him. Despite the smiles and the mild climate, something told you that there was something more. "So, you came to try the new meat."

"No, not today, but I'm still trying. I'm here to talk about Bucky."

"Did something happen?" your heart immediately sped up, all those fears coming back like a flood.

"It's all right with him." Sam reassured you, noticing your posture change at the time. "I have some information and to be honest I can't stand to see him suffer over it any longer."

"Suffer for what?"

"You, what else would it be?"

"Sam, he chose to leave me. It still hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it." you explained, seeing him nod. "But if there's anything I can help you."

"I'd rather tell you and then you choose what to do. On the last mission, some personal information was leaked. About the team, about Sarah, the boys, you."

"Exactly what about me?"

"About you and Bucky, they used that to try and coerce him, that's what made him choose to walk away from you." he handed you a cell phone.

On the screen, a photo of you and Bucky leaving the restaurant at night, another of the two of you running together, another of you in a coffee shop.

"Who got this? I-I... Are we in danger?" you looked around for suspects, for cameras trained on the two of you, but found only people engrossed in their own conversations. "Who made this?"

"It does not matter now."

"How does it not matter?"

"Bucky sorted it out and whoever it is, they won't be bothering you anymore." Shit. Sam doesn't need to say more for you to understand what resolve means. "I'm only telling you this because I know you still like him."

"It takes two to make a relationship, at the very least." you responded right away.

"Just think, wouldn't someone who did all this thinking about protecting you love you?" Sam asked and laughed when he saw your confused face. "Oh man, you two deserve each other."

"Should I talk to him?"

"Well, he's in town, no plans for the next mission. Maybe you should." Sam shrugged and got to his feet. "Now that I've taken this weight off of me, I'll let you work, but I'll be back and you better cook the best steak I've ever had."

"Order noted." you said goodbye to him with a quick hug. "Thanks Sam."

"Don't thank me, I'm just doing my part as the future best man." he winked, eliciting a laugh from you and then left.

The evening at the restaurant, despite being full, seemed to take forever to pass. Amidst the food, your head wandered over the images you'd seen, what Sam had said.

It was past midnight when you got home. You took a hot shower, somehow trying to calm your mind, but that wasn't enough. Before putting on your pajamas, you thought a little more. You couldn't miss that opportunity, even if it was to close that chapter of your life. You got dressed and headed towards Bucky's apartment.

Your legs made you walk from side to side, restless in front of the door, your mind bubbled with possible excuses for a visit during the night. You knocked a few times and got no response, but you couldn't just walk away.

The keys you still had danced between your trembling fingers before they even reached the lock. Upon opening the door, you can see Alpine look up curiously, immediately jumping off the couch and going to tangle at your feet.

"Hello for you too!" you bent down, feeling the soft white hairs by your hand.

The door behind you closed by itself, giving you only the trouble to lock it again. The small apartment seemed untouched since the last time you were there, you took off your three shoes, leaving them next to Bucky's boots, an old habit.

The same brown cushions as the Alpine ration in the same corner. Your photo still next to the TV. If you closed your eyes, you could remember the day that picture was taken, your nervous laughter being on a Ferris wheel and Bucky's arms around your waist.

You've heard Bucky before you've even seen him in full. The murmurs came from the side of the sofa, and as you feared to find him, he was lying on the floor, only a pillow and a sheet protecting his body from the cold floor. He was muttering something incomprehensible, even from a distance you could see the sweat gather on his face.

Trying to get closer without scaring him, you knelt beside where he was lying, Alpine climbed on the arm of the sofa, carefully following your every move.

"Buck?" you called him in a whisper, not having much effect. This time, you chose to touch his shoulder, shaking it slightly, the nickname involuntarily falling from your lips. "Babe?"

As if out of breath, Bucky sat up, catching all the apparently lost breath. It took a few seconds for his blue irises to meet yours, trying to assimilate what was happening.

"Am I still dreaming?" he muttered to himself, it was only when he felt your hand take his that he seemed to realize reality. "You are here?"

"Yes." you replied, settling into a sitting position.

For a few seconds, you chose to just watch him. The disheveled hair and beard had been undone for some time, a little longer than usual. Next to his military dog ​​tag, hung the ring you wore. Regret took over your body for leaving behind.

"Are you well?" his husky voice interrupted you from daydreaming about the two of you's recent past. Trying to push those thoughts away, you just shook your head and tried to do your best on your own, but you already knew him to know that wouldn't convince him.

"I should be asking that. Was I having a nightmare?"

"Yes... I couldn't sleep and in the little time I could, some demons decided to take the time to disturb me." just as you had, he smiled and just like him, you knew that all was not well. "What are you doing here?"

"Needed to see you." your hand that clung to him let go, busy pinching your own hand nervously. "I've been talking to Sam."

"I don't know what he told you, but I can guarantee..."

"Please let me speak." you cut him off, afraid he would ask you to go again. "I know about the threats, I know about everything and I wonder what your head must be like. But what I want you to understand is that I'm okay with it."

"You do not understand."

"You can help me with this. It may sound silly, but, I don't know, I can learn to defend myself, I can spend more time around you. I just don't accept that our story ends like this, for fear of something that still it didn't even happen. I want to try, I want to stay!" you had to pull yourself together after dumping everything on him.

It could just be your impression, or maybe just the street light streaming in through the window, but you could have sworn his eyes were teary.

His hands pulled yours to lock around the back of his neck. In a rush of courage, you crossed your legs over his, settling in his lap. His hands slid down your back, locking onto your waist.

"Say you don't want me, that you don't love me anymore and I'm gone." you whispered and he immediately denied it.

"They said your name, they talked about you, about us and I didn't know how to react." he closed his eyes for a moment, sighing as he felt your fingers tangle in his hair. "I don't think I've ever felt that… that fear. I thought it would be easier to walk away than stick around and let them hurt you. But shit, it hurt. It still hurts not to have you around."

"If you want, I can stay away, just ask, I understand. I just need you to be honest." His hands, previously tied around your waist, went up to your face, wiping away a few tears. "Now if I stay, we'll get through this together. Please..." your voice came out a lot lower than you expected. "Ask me to stay, tell me you still love me."

Your current self was waiting for an answer, yearning to hear those damn three words. Your now self didn't have a shred of regret. If at any time you dared to rethink what had been said, that was left behind when you felt his lips on yours.

His right hand tangled in your hair, deepening his lips on you, while the other kept you attached to him, squeezing your waist. His tongue drew the roof of your mouth, such a good and familiar feeling. God, how you missed that.

"I love you." Bucky's voice murmured, moving just a few millimeters from your lips. "I love you." he stole another kiss, this time even more intense. "I love you, every bit, every part." the kisses began to go down the back of your neck, reaching that part that shivered your entire body.

"Bucky, please."

"Let me love every piece of you, please doll." he asked, letting his tongue run up to the edge of your ear. "Fuck, let me show you that I haven't stopped loving you for a second."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you babe." you whispered, pressing your still covered intimacy against him.

Heat was starting to build up in your core, making it impossible to think. His lips pulled away from yours, only for in a single thrust, he'd jump to his feet and keep you locked in his arms. It didn't take long for you to feel your body against the soft fabric of the bed. Bucky took a little time to admire you, there again. The red eyes, the shy smile that was still there, even after so long.

"I missed you so much, here, in my bed, being all mine" his eyes asked permission to continue and a slight nod was enough for your pants and your blouse to find the bedroom floor.

His metallic hand ran over your shoulder, gently removing your bra, with each new piece of skin uncovered, you felt his lips deposit quick kisses, the urgency to be able to feel each piece of yours.

"Do not tease me." you asked when his lips touched your nipple. The tongue circling the protruding point, eliciting a timid groan from you.

"You are so sensitive, so good." the wet kisses descended towards your intimacy, touching with the lips the thin and humid fabric that prevented it from going exactly where you wanted.

You even tried to fight back, but even strangled, Bucky could hear you.

"Don't hold back, babe." he pulled the fabric off, tossing it along with the pile of clothes on the floor. Distracted lips, sliding down your thigh. "Let me hear you."

"It's dawn Buck, I don't want them to think... Fuck!" his tongue went straight to your clitoris, eliciting a muffled scream.

"What you saying." he pulled back a little, just to admire her intimacy. "All this for me?"

"It's how I missed you." Bucky dove into your intimacy, sucking your spot.

You could already feel your body about to boil. His tongue slowly circling your clit, while one of his fingers slowly entered your pussy, soon becoming two.

Sweet nothings came out of your lips, begging for something you didn't even recognize and it didn't take long for your vision to become blurred when you felt his tongue being replaced by the vibranium hand, the fingers cold as snow in contact with your clit were more than enough to reach your peak.

"Don't stop, please, please Bucky!"

"Give it to me honey, I know you want to come for me."

For a few seconds, amid an almost hoarse scream, your previously blurred vision disappeared for good. Your legs were shaking as you felt him settle between them. The lips still wet from your juice slid down your cheek, making you blink slowly.

"Still with me doll?"

"Yeah babe." you took his lips, tasting your own and giving him the freedom he needed to enter you.

He thrust slowly, Bucky's face hid in your neck as he moaned low, murmuring sweet nothings to you. So tight love. How I missed this pussy, made for me. You are mine, all mine.

The speed gradually increased, the headboard of the bed knocked insistently against the wall and you just hoped that the neighbors had a heavy sleep.

"Love, I can't hold it anymore." his hand went down to your clit, circling the most sensitive spot on your body. "I can sense that you can't either."

"Just like that Bucky, keep fucking like that." you begged, feeling the heat take over your body again.

"Come with me my angel. I can feel you tighten around me, give me one more, just one more."

The moans of both of you came out in unison and leaving you on the verge of an orgasm, it was only necessary to feel his hot liquid invade you to reach your own peak.

Bucky stayed in there for a few seconds, until he got out of you and turned you on top of him, hugging you tight and sticking his nose through your hair. Your scent was intoxicating, your body against his made him feel again that that cold apartment was home.

"You forgive me?" the hesitant tone of his voice caught your attention.

"Nothing to forgive" you settled on his chest. "Just promise never to leave me for that again?"

He gently pulled your face, making you look into his blue eyes. "I'll never, never leave you again, that's the easiest promise I've ever made in my life."

"I love you Buck."

"I love you more my angel." you snuggled into his chest and little by little your eyes grew heavy, his hands sliding on your back, in a comfortable silence.

The last thing she heard before falling asleep was an indignant tone in his voice.

"Wait, do you really want to learn how to fight?"

[herbivorp]

Some Eggpire stuff, tw for body horror

sooo I wanted to dive into Skeppy and his recovery after dying in the lava I am soooo so normal about the eggpire arc and wrote a bit about it here:

When bad pushed him you could see the instant realization of pure unfiltered horror grace his features followed by him reaching out and almost grabbing Skeppy in time but just barely missing by an inch In shock he hesitated for a split second before lunging to scrabble through the lava pool for the peices (yes peices) of Skeppy, gaining the burn scars on his own arms (demons are resistant but not immune to lava damage) to eventually pull him out in a horrifying disfigured clump The first thing that caught his eye were the shimmer of Skeppy's diamonds spread over most of his (remeaining) skin as a defense attempt from his own body, and next, how Skeppy was staring at him with his eye while the spak in it started to die out The worst part was seeing how the vines on skeppy's skin started to creep and try to incase and consume him in his dying state Bad was able to apply a totem just before Skeppy's last bits of life ran out and carried his living but disfigured body from the egglair I can imagine how broken Bad would be like utterly speechless and horrified as he carried him and dont get me started on the other's reactions upon seeing them Bad sat by his bedside for months without eating but eventually left on his boat to look for any kind of reconstruction magic he could use to help Skeppy You see where I'm going with how indescribably traumatic this was for both of them and it never went away Bad still sees that face in his nightmares and Skeppy was left with the memory of quite literally dying and being bedridden disfigured and suffering for months After the whole mess of Bad killing several people they pretend like everything is all fine and dandy Bad is the last one with the egg's influence and Skeppy stabs and kills him with a sword & uses a totem to get rid of the last of it After both are physically healed and several months after the dsmp fell apart and the egg was gone, they decided to make the best of what happened to them both and it made their bond stronger than ever They are still not even close to recovering mentally and may never be Annnnd the cherry on top is them getting seperated bc of the qsmp.. like fucking imagine I need them together again rn I'm not even silly hahah goofy anymore I will die if they dont

Anywayyys yeah I love c!skephalo with all of my being and will continue to scream their story from the rooftops even if nobody gives a fuck anymore

[wornouteggman]

X-Men go to Disneyland for the First Time

first post! tag along for more delusions, asks are always open -alex

Cyclops

not just the group dad or the paranoid leader but a secret, third, worse thing

this guy has a stomachache the whole day you can't convince me otherwise

has carrots in his backpack?! and trail mix?!

yeah laugh it up until you're standing in a disney line for 45 minutes and you start getting peckish- oh nowww you want to appreciate him

please do not put him on that stupid Pinocchio boat ride he will puke

gave everyone a map at the beginning of the day and is exceptionally stressed that he's the only one with one at the end of the day

Jean

half of her job is making sure Scott doesn't walk into a pole and the other half is making sure no one gets lost

SHE MAKES SURE EVERYONE HAS A "it's my first time" PIN

all the people around her is overwhelming- not just in a powers way but in a general sensory overload way

likes the classic stuff, loves the snow white ride

she's not too invested in things like disney but she likes doing the touristy stuff upfront (they're popular for a reason right?) which is why she's the first to buy a set of mickey(minnie?) ears

her favorite part of the day is watching the fireworks with Scott, letting herself get almost misty-eyed as she listens to the swell of music, Scott's arms wrapped around her securely

Storm

certified churro enjoyer

weirdly enough loves the dumbo ride?

"Ororo. You can literally fly why do we have to go on th-" "Party of six please"

get her ass away from star tours, she will have a panic attack

the one who pulls up games to play during wait times. she is comically bad at charades

likes the parade!! makes sure to have nice seats on the sidewalk to watch it happen!

a part of her inner child is healed going around disney enjoying the day with her weird mutant family

Rogue

she does a little dance in her seat at the end of the haunted mansion ride with all the partying ghosts (she gets excited to see which ghost is hitchhiking with her) (she loudly whispers the entire intro to the haunted mansion word for word to gambit every time they go on it

her and jean are the only ones to get mickey ears, Rogue going for one of the dessert-related ones (I'm going to project a little bit and say she gets the churro ears)

takes photos with every single character she sees

silly photos with gambit in front of the disney castle

incredibly cranky when it comes to long lines!! her and scott teaming up and eating trail mix from his bag from boredom (Scott picks out the m&ms and gives them to her while he eats all the nuts and granola)

Gambit

HIS FAVORITE RIDE IS INDIANA JONES IDCIDC

okay him and Rogue would have way more fun in california adventure but I fucked myself over and wrote Disneyland so now I have to suffer the consequences of my actions

he's sooo pretentious about the quality of the beignets

competitive teacup ride, him and rogue are teacup spinners

he really likes Batuu and the star wars stuff in general, I can see him liking the ronto wraps

HATES the millennium falcon ride if he's not the pilot. will skulk.

#stealfromcorporations

a little sizeable pang of homesickness in the chest as he walks through the New Orleans Square, which is specifically modelled after the french quarter

Logan

free him from this hell

"oh but he secretly enjoys-" no he doesn't.

barely made it past security, as the... you know... adamantium fused to his bones make the sensors go off

jean steps in and says he's got several joint replacements. it's humiliating (for him)

I get the vibe that he's scared of the peter pan ride when you're in the ship "flying"

bristles like a cat tbh

once he's sat at the hungry bear restaurant chowing down on a burger he calms down a little

complains about the california heat incessantly

would rather die than admit that a part of him looks at the families on the carousel and gets deeply sad❗️

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You’re My Muse [Chapter 11]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.2K

“Hold on!” You removed the headphones and put on your mask before going to the studio door. After the boys separated to do their stuff for the night, after dinner, you were continuing to work in the studio. 

“Oh, Jongho.” You were surprised to see the youngest standing there, assuming that he was joining some of the boys for a drink outside on the deck. 

“I thought you would still be here. Can I come in?” He asked. 

“Of course.” You walked in with him behind you. You were aware of the difference in his tone and demeanour. There was something different and you noticed throughout the whole day of doing guide recordings with the boys. Yesterday’s production track was good enough so Hongjoong had wanted to jump into guide recordings right away.

Today was spent doing various guide recordings as a group, as units and as individuals. When it was Jongho’s turn, you immediately noticed that something was not right.��

“What’s up?” You asked as you sat down in your seat and he took the seat next to you. 

“I was just wondering if it is okay if I record my part again? And the adlibs.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. 

“Sure.” You didn’t question further, pulling the recordings up from earlier in the day. Jongho bowed his head and went into the small recording booth. You watched him do some warm ups before putting the headphones on.

“Can you hear me?” You spoke into the microphone. He nodded with a thumbs up as he adjusted the volume coming through. He tested the microphone with some vocalisations.

“Loud and clear.” You told him. 

Jongho wanted to record all his parts again, which was almost the entire song. You weren’t tired since all you had to do was record and lay the vocals over the instrumentals. But you were worried about him straining himself too much. 

“Playing back.” You spoke, turning the microphone off and letting him hear his vocal recording. His facial expression was serious, he had a frown on his face as he tapped his finger against the stand. You watched him shake his head with a disappointed look on his face. 

“Jongho? Could you step out for a minute, please?” You requested. He blinked, confused by your sudden request but complied, leaving the headphones and coming out. 

“Sit.” You patted the empty seat that he sat in earlier. He plopped down in the seat, posture stiff with his hands resting on his knees.

“Is everything okay?” You asked. 

“Everything is... fine.” 

“You seem frustrated with your recordings, not just now during the re-recording but also earlier today. I noticed that you were not in your best condition. So tell me, what’s wrong?” You tried to coax him. 

“I don’t know. I just feel like I haven’t been perfect so I want to be. I don’t want to be lacking and causing my hyungs to suffer.” He confessed.

“What makes you think you have been lacking at all?” You tilted your head. You knew that Jongho was the most private out of the boys. He wasn’t one to openly share and express his feelings with other people. Affection wasn’t something he showed. But you didn’t want to push him too much, he could share with you whatever he felt comfortable with sharing. 

“You know the hyungs do well with dancing and they’re all very good looking. I don’t have the looks or dance skills, I can only rely on my vocals. I’ve just been thinking that my best isn’t good enough.” He tried his best to explain.

“Jongho, I think you need to give yourself more credit. Your vocals are one of a kind, unmatched.” You told him. 

“It’s honestly dumb...” He shook his head.

“It’s not. Because I know how you feel. I’m like that with every beat, melody, track that I compose. As artists, we are all perfectionists.” You refuted.

“You are talented and valuable to this team in your own unique way, you’re irreplaceable. If everyone had the same set of skills, this group, this world, would be a very boring place.” You chuckled. 

“Agreed.” He nodded. 

“Trust me, Jongho. You’re doing great.” You patted his hand encouragingly. You were glad that he felt like he could share this with you.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. We all need a little verbal encouragement every now and then.” You giggled as the both of you stood up. Jongho surprised you by suddenly hugging you. 

“You’re doing great too.” He said softly. Behind your mask, a small smile formed as you lightly put your arms around him to reciprocate the hug. When he pulled away from the hug, his ears were bright red. He coughed, looking away and refusing to meet your eyes. 

“G-Goodnight. You should go to bed and not work too long.” He spoke. 

“I’ll finish up soon.” You promised. Jongho nodded, bowing awkwardly before ascending up the stairs and leaving the studio. 

“Indigo! No more working. Come upstairs.” Wooyoung came marching down. You looked at him then ignored him by turning back to your computer and putting on your headphones.

“Get her.” You didn’t hear Wooyoung’s command whoever was with him. But soon, you felt someone remove your headphones and lift you up. 

“No!” You gripped onto the desk like a cat. But your strength was no match for San, who easily lifted you up. 

“San! Put me down or I swear, you will have ZERO lines for the next Ateez song.” You threatened. That actually caused him to falter a little, contemplating whether to put you down. “Don’t let her intimidate you, San ah!” Wooyoung slapped his best friend’s arm. 

“Okay, okay, you win. But before I go with you, can I at least let me save my work first?” You negotiated. San turned to Wooyoung, who nodded in approval. You leaned over and saved all your work and notes before shutting down the system. After that, San still lifted you up bridal style and carry you up the stairs. You slung your arms around his neck.

“Is the carrying still necessary even though I agreed to go with you?” You raised an eyebrow at the two of them. 

“In case you run away.” San replied. However, when the 3 of you arrived at the living room, it was dark. There was no sound or movement, which you assumed meant that the others had gone to bed.

“There we go.” San softly put you down on your feet, making sure you were steady before letting you go. You looked around in confusion.

“What’s going o-”

“SURPRISE!” The lights turned on and all the boys jumped up with their arms in the air, there was popping of champagne. They all wore party hats. You didn’t know what was going on until Mingi and Yunho held up a banner.

‘HAPPY 100 DAYS WITH ATEEZ, PROD. INDIGO!’

Your eyes widened, has it already been 100 days? You were not sure if you were shocked by how long or how short it has been. On one hand, 100 days seemed like a lot of time has passed and yet, the busy days have made it seem like time has passed too quickly.

“Surprised? It was my idea.” Wooyoung nudged you.

“It was all of our ideas.” Jongho rolled his eyes. Wooyoung hugged you, kissing your temple. But surprisingly, you didn’t push him away. You wrapped your arms around him, hiding your face in his sweater.

“Why? Why?” He was shocked by your actions. You felt all the boys staring at you as Wooyoung pulled away slightly, cupping your face.

“WHY ARE YOU CRYING?!” He yelled in shock.

“Jung Wooyoung, look at what you did!” Seonghwa came over and took you from Wooyoung to cradle you. He stroked your head, while everyone scolded Wooyoung for supposedly making you cry.

“ME?!” 

“It’s okay. Don’t cry.” The motherlike nature of Seonghwa came out immediately as he comforted you. 

“Sorry, I just... all the emotions was suddenly very overwhelming but thank you. Thank you all for this.” You spoke. Hongjoong grabbed a tissue to gently wipe your teary eyes. 

“I want all of you to know how much you mean to me, even if it has only been 100 days. Couldn’t ask for better people to work with.” You smiled. 

“Aww.” Yunho bounded over to you and hugged you tightly, reminding you of his golden retriever persona. His body towered over yours, making you laugh. Soon, one by one, the Ateez members all hugged you except Jongho. Despite his hyungs teasing him, you weren’t going to reveal that he was the first to hug you earlier in the studio.

“Pabo yah, don’t cry anymore.” Hongjoong patted your head. You knew how protective Hongjoong had become of you. He saw you as his little sister that he wanted to take care of. 

“I won’t.” You replied. The last person to hug was Mingi. Mingi suddenly felt shy and awkward to hug you with the others around.

“Why are you so stiff?” Yunho teased. 

“Thank you for your hardwork.” Mingi smiled down at you, enveloping you in his arms. You laughed and wrapped your arms around him, patting his back. Mingi prayed you couldn’t hear how fast his heart was racing. 

“I didn’t even realise it has been 100 days.” You confessed, rubbing the back of your neck. 

“Your candles are half gone.” Yeosang stated. You invited all the boys to help you blow out the half melted ‘100′ candles on the cake. 

“Let me cut the cake and give it out.” You grabbed the plastic knife to start removing the melted wax that fell on the top of the cake. You began to cut the cake into slices for everyone to eat.

“Here you go.” A champagne flute was placed in front of you with a straw in it. You lifted the glass to clink with everyone before taking a sip. As you watched them drink, your mind went to the Wanteez drunkteez episode, making you subconsciously let out a small giggle.

“What’s so funny?” San asked as he ate a bite of cake.

“Just wondering if I’m going to be watching that episode of Wanteez live.” You chuckled. San knew what you were talking about and immediately blushed, pursing his lips.

“What?” The others were confused.

“Drunkteez.” Was all you had to say before yells and whines of protests were thrown at you. 

“You should know that was just for show! It wasn’t real.” Hongjoong replied. Yeosang raised an eyebrow before shaking his head.

“Sure, you totally weren’t trying to go home by putting your head in that bucket and balancing milk on your head.” You scoffed. Hongjoong threatened to hit you, making you duck behind Jongho. 

“I was fine.” Jongho shrugged nonchalantly. 

“The loudness is what gets you when they’re drunk. Try getting them to stop singing sad ballads at the top of their lungs.” Yeosang sighed at the memory. Mingi nodded in agreement, he was one of the mostly sober ones after that episode shoot, and had to help Yeosang with taking care of the other much more drunk members. 

“It’s just one bottle of champagne. We aren’t going to get drunk.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and slung his arm around your neck. 

“Thanks again for doing this for me. I really appreciate it. And I also wanted to say thank you for all the hardwork you’ve been putting in the past couple of days.” You said with a bow. 

“Yay!” 

“You worked hard too!” They all cheered. 

There was a warmth in your chest. The fact that Ateez remembered and are celebrating your 100th day with them, while you barely even remembered and celebrated your own birthday, really meant something to you. 

“Well, we have two more days until we leave so let’s make the best of it.” You held your glass up.

“Let’s do this!” Everyone followed suit and lifted their own glasses. All of you downed the remainder of the champagne. After that, the boys split up to clear up the living room and do the dishes

“I can help with the dishes.” You offered.

“No need, it just a few plates and glasses. Go sit. Take a breather.” San nodded over to the couch. You nodded in defeat, shuffling over to the big couch and sitting down. Hongjoong yawned and came over, laying his head on your lap. You weren’t bothered, looking at your phone. 

“Go sleep, Joong.” You said after hearing his yawn again. 

“Don’t want to!” He protested like a child. You lifted a hand over his forehead, threatening to hit him.

“I dare you.” He squinted his eyes as he looked up at you. You rolled your eyes with a scoff and leaned back against the couch. As much as he was the captain and “father figure”, he could really act one of the kids. 

“And... Joong?” He suddenly brought up.

“Gee, that took you a while to process, maybe you’re more sleep deprived than I thought.” You joked and he flicked your knee but didn’t say anything further. 

“Can I call you Indi (pronounced: Indy) then?” He requested. You nodded with a shrug, no one has called you that but why not? 

“On our last day, what should we do? To commemorate the end of Ateez’s first song camp?” Hongjoong asked. You shrugged again, making him scowl at you for not helping. 

“What? I’m not good at planning these social things. What is a good social activity to do? I heard there’s a nice lake where locals go to, let’s go there for the boys play. Then for dinner, we could do a big barbeque outside. We had barbeque but it was done indoors on the first night. ” You suggested. Hongjoong nodded, seemingly considering your idea. 

“That’s a good idea actually. End work early and go have fun. See? You are good at planning these things.” He smirked. 

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. Hongjoong flicked you again at his tone.

“Stop doing that! One more time and I’m gonna push you off if you do that again. And you know I will do it.” You threatened. From your bickering with Hongjoong, the others came over. 

“He’s bullying me!” You complained. 

“You guys are noisy, go wash up and go to bed. Both of you need sleep.” Seonghwa chased the two of you upstairs. 

You went to your room and took a nice shower before changing into your sleepwear. It was nice to not have to wear your mask for a bit with your door locked. You rolled around your bed. 

“It’s so late... Haneul is probably sleeping.” You said to yourself when you checked the time on your phone. Instead, you opened your laptop and replied to some emails and private messages that came in the past two days that you’ve been busy. 

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* 

“Coming!” You grabbed the mask off the nightstand and wore it, going to unlock the door. You were surprised to see Wooyoung there with a big grin on his face.

“What’s up, Wooyoung?” You asked. He happily entered your room, faling onto your bed with open arms.

“I wanted to spend time with you. We had any solo time to talk.” He turned to you, wriggling until he was under the covers. You were a little stunned, not expecting him to suddenly appear at your door to talk to you.

“Sure.” You welcomed it. Wooyoung was one of the first people you met at KQ and you cherished the friendship you had with him.

“How have you been? And I’m not just talking about work.” He asked as you slipped under the blanket once you kept your laptop aside. It felt like textbook best friends at a sleepover. 

“Alright, I guess. Besides you and Hongjoong, I think I’m getting close with the other members at individual members.” 

“That’s great! But it’ll always be me first, right?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No one will take your place, Wooyoung.” You assured with a chuckle and he smiled triumphantly. Although, you didn’t directly agree that he was first. There was no first, you didn’t play favourites with the boys. 

“I have a little brother, Kyungmin. Our age gap is rather big but he is so cute. He just started school not too long ago.” Wooyoung took his phone out. He had an endearing smile on his face as he looked for the picture of his little brother to show you. You held the phone to see the picture of Kyungmin, it was obvious that Wooyoung adores his younger brother.

“That’s so cute.” You nodded at the picture of Wooyoung smushing his cheek against Kyungmin’s.

“Right?! He is so cute. I told him he will always be cute to me, no matter how old he is. But he’s growing up too fast.” Wooyoung giggled. You knew exactly what he was talking about. You felt the same with Haneul.

“What about you, Wooyoung? How have you been?” You finally got a chance to ask him back the same question. 

“I’m alright too. But I think some times I just let the negativity affect me too much. I have a brave front and an easy personality on camera but it gets hard.”

“Everyone’s always going to be a critic and try to knock you down. I think you’re amazing just the way you are.” You looked at him. Wooyoung knew that you were smiling at him through your eyes.

“It’s okay to be honest with yourself and your feelings. No one is expecting you to always be smiling and happy.” You patted his hand.

“Thanks, Indigo.” He smiled softly. 

Somehow, Wooyoung ended up sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have the heart to wake him so you let him be. You have fallen asleep around him and on him a few times anyway. But since you couldn’t sleep, you snuck out of your room with the intention to go to the studio. 

“I don’t know. Even Eden hyung has been chasing me and Hongjoong hyung has been having to help pick up my slack.” You heard Mingi talking to Yunho as you walked past. For some reason, you felt compelled to listen.

“Don’t you usually have your notes and references that you use when you’re writing and composing?” Yunho asked back.

“I do but nothing is working out, Yunho ah. It’s like the lyrics aren’t forming in my head like they used to anymore.” Mingi sighed. You frowned slightly, sad to hear Mingi say that.

“You told Hongjoong hyung? What did he say?” Yunho replied.

“He said I’m probably just having writer’s block and that I’ll get over it. But I haven’t been able to write for a bar of rap. It’s stressing me out.” Mingi said.

“Do you have a lot on your mind? You could be distracted by something else that’s why you’re not focused on the lyric writing.” Yunho theorised. Mingi didn’t reply to that.

You turned around and went back into your room, deciding not to go to the studio to work anymore. You stared at the ceiling, worried about Mingi. He told you lyric writing was going well when you chatted with him the other night and you thought your conversations with him were honest. 

So, why did he lie to you? 

~

Series Masterlist