#school making a dumbass presentation years after i needed it. and same w other shit. i got plenty of coping mechs now. i love those bitches.

[chimaerra]

early morning time for emotion,,,,, uhhhh something something honestly in retrospect it was a bad idea but also the best thing to ever possibly happen to me that i got on tumblr young and planted myself in a few kind communities because otherwise i know i would be doing so so much worse now. literally don’t want to think abt how i would be if i wasn’t on here. still going to and i’m prolly gonna cry.

[sunflowerhae]

Linger

Episode • 1/8

Mobile Masterlist •

♡ ☾ ✐

Authors note• bro this is so long I’m so sorry I’m breaking it into parts for u (I HATE MY LIFE)

Warnings• mentions of death, language

Songs• something - the Beatles/ With love, Vincent - Murray Gold/ she’s so lovely - beach house

•Na Jaemin remembers the exact moment he first laid his eyes on Y/N Y/L/N.

•He was standing by his locker on the first day of sophomore year

•laughing with Jeno and Haechan about their new math teacher

•when she walked past him with two other girls, smiling and holding some books in her arms.

•Jaemin will tell anyone that listens that this was the first time he felt the air knocked out of his lungs

•He remembers thinking that she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen.

•He didn’t know who she was; he had never seen her before (he would remember) (sike he’s stupid)

•yet he knew that he would marry that girl.

•he was worried bc he didn’t know who tF she was, but don’t worry bc the second time he ever saw her was maybe 6 minutes later

•he walked into his 4th period Honors English 10 class, and she was talking to the teacher across the classroom, before moving and sitting down in the first empty seat she saw.

•Jaemin didn’t know what to do

•his new mystery dream girl was in his class.

•Should he sit next to her?

•Should he just ignore her and talk to her later?

•what is gonna wear?

•is he gonna cry?

•Jaemin didn’t have much time to decide

• a mere 10 second delay was all it took for three boys (also on the football team with Jaemin) to enter the room and wrap their arms around his shoulder

•ushering him over to an empty table in the back while showcasing their excitement about being in the same class together.

•Jaemin tried not to show his disappointment, and instead gave one of his usual, dazzling smiles (ya know the one!) while joking along with them

•trying to forget about the mystery girl (and the excitement he got when he learned her name during roll call)

•It was then that Na Jaemin’s and Y/N Y/L/N’s rolls in their story were set in stone.

•He would be the popular boy that everyone knew, but didn’t really know

•and you would be the quiet girl that only a few, special people knew of, but those people were your closest friends.

•And over the course of the next two years, it would stay that way. •Jaemin, secretly pining for you

•and you, thinking the beautiful boy as untouchable.

•That would, however, change, on one god forsaken, cloudy Friday.

•A Friday that would forever be ingrained in Jaemins memory as the day he sealed his lonely fate in the world

•and the day he lost his true soulmate

•before he even talked to her.

•If Haechan’s persistent moaning and groaning about school wasn’t enough

•the weather was gloomy and cloudy

•and anyone with eyes could tell that rain was to be expected. •Jaemin, secretly, didn’t mind.

•Although he would never share it, he loved the rain.

•What he did mind, was his friends continuous bitching.

•”Hyuck, shut up,” -Renjun, 2020

•I mean he wasn’t even paying attention to the group, too preoccupied w his sketch book, sometimes glancing up at a girl that sat across the school yard, before looking back down at his sketch book (spoilers for something I’m writing??? Hehe you’ll never know hehe)

•all Jeno did was MenTion that rainy weather meant football practice would be cancelled

•hyucks smile was BaCk

•Jaemin was not impressed

•okay the conversation went something like this

“Damn Na, why are you looking at me like how my mom looks when my report card come in?” -full sun

•You literally insulted football to my face.” -nana

•haechan let out a loud laugh

•at Jaemin’s expense

•“you don’t know the ups and downs of High-school football” -nojam and injunnie

•also at Jaemins expense

•due to an ongoing joke that Jaemin reminded their friend group of the teenage redhead from riverdale

•Na Jaemin was so upset, he didn’t even eat his fries.

•”I wouldn’t care so much if I wasn’t the fucking captain of the team, hyuck. I mean, I gotta hold you responsible to a certain degree, you’re the fucking quarterback!” -Na Jaemin

•someone bully him

•so as that is happening, 2/3 of the missing members of their group come in HOT

•I mean literally

•they’re breathing heavily and everything

•acting like they just ran a mf marathon

•jisung YEETS his bag in the table (covering Renjuns sketchbook, which annoyed the fuck out of the older boy, but really who cares)

•”Guys guys guys! You will never guess who we just saw in the library!” -Mochi

•”lemme give it a try; mark?” -bitch ass Chinese bitch (renjun)

•”No! We saw Mar- wait what? How’d you know?” -child prodigy Zhong Chenle

•“Uhh, maybe because he texted in the group chat that he was gonna be in the library?” -nojam makin a comeback

•”Okay okay, but - can I have a fry? - did hew shay who hedt be wif?”

•”Swallow your fucking food first, le.” -smart boy you guess who

(Whew are y’all getting sensory overload like I AM)

•“He said, did he say who he’d be with, though? No, he didn’t, but guess who WE saw him with,” -jisung bringing the T E A.

•no one answers

•Chenle and jisung give each other the “we’re friends w dumbasses” look

•“Y/n! He was sitting with y/n!”

•oh shit

•Everyone quickly turned their heads to Jaemin

•tell me why this boy was glaring at the table like it messed w his daughter

•Out of everyone ever, the only people who knew about Jaemins secret crush was the 5 boys sitting with Jaemin

•and the one sitting in the library with said secret crush.

•They didn’t even really know, they just knew that they once saw Jaemin slip something like a note into Y/n’s locker junior year

•and Jaemin made up a bullshit excuse that it was something for class that no one

•-not even Jeno, who always trusted his friends -

•believed.

•”why aren’t you mad”

•”you should be angry”

•literally all of the present boys were THROWING it on jaemin

•and naturally -

•he deflected

•”bro I’m not even upset, I don’t like y/n!”

•lmao K

•now at this point

•the boys thought they were helping

•really

•it was innocent they promise.

•really how were they to know what was going to happen

•so hyuck had JOKED and said that if Jaemin didn’t like u, he wouldn’t mind hurting u

•it was super harmless

•unTil

•some other popular ppl walked over RIGHT as Haechan said that

•and he was like oh fuck

•but silently

•bc Haechan knew what Jaemin was like

•if it was just their lil group still, Jaemin would have told hyuck to fuck off

•but Jaemin was terrified to lose his reputation

•he was an insecure boy

•he would have really done anything to keep his position as most popular boy in school

•so when one of his jock friends dares Jaemin to get you to date him until prom, get ur virginity the night before, and then ditch u at prom and tell you it was all a dare in front of everyone and that he never liked you

•well

•he stupidly agrees

•the dreamies agree with it

•only bc they don’t actually think Jaemin will last

•they think he’ll back out last minute and stay w you

•and that Jaemin will finally get u

•wishful thinking

•you were failing math

•it’s not that you were stupid, you weren’t

•you just R E A L L Y hated math

•and your mom was so upset w your grade

•my girl forced u to get a tutor

•good thing u knew mark

•he agreed to meet w you in the library Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s at lunch

•and Thursday’s if you needed it

•thank god 4 mark

•everything was going Super Fine™️

•up until you both look up when you hear squealing and the sound of someone smacking someone else

•and there’s jisung and Chenle,

•staring at you both

•and squealing

•and smacking each other on the arms

•before just plain running out

•”if I don’t go after them, they’ll tell all of our friends that we’re marrying each other, so i should go.” -Mark fucking Lee

•so you’re walking towards your locker to put all of your math work in it,

•and when you open it, a lil note falls out and flutters to the ground

•your smile: 3% -> 95%

•honestly you were kinda having a shitty day

•so you were so happy to see a note in your locker

•you had been receiving love notes since you were in sophomore year

•you don’t remember exactly when during the year

•but one day, they were just there

•you were excited to add another one to your box

•this one wasn’t big, it just said “Your Personality makes me want to be a better person! I hope you have a beautiful day, sunshine!”

•the rim of the paper had squiggly yellow lines, and the bottom had a poorly drawn sunshine, with a heart, like always

•you didn’t know who your secret admirer was

•but you wish you did

•u lowkey loved them

•you’re still smiling about it as you walk into your 7th period math class

•and the note was found at lunch, like an hour ago

•they make you so happy

•you silently sat down in your seat, and stared off into space with a dreamy look on your face

•and THATS how Jaemin knew you got his note

•you always had that look when you read his notes

•not that you knew it was from him

•it made him so happy

•even if you two had never talked before, he still freaking loved that he could make you smile

•Jaemin wasn’t happy for long

•he tried not to let you notice him staring at you in class,

•it was kinda hard, seeing as you two literally sat next to each other

•he couldn’t believe he had to break your heart

•he wanted to die lowkey lol

•but he had to do it

•not really, but really

•so he took a deep breath

•and opened his mouth

Continued here

{taglist}

@ivietea @fiveguysgoodbyeguys @comically-sleep-deprived @woosans-sann @mozartwasajungkookstan @littlefluu @cxcxlxlee @jaesluvklub @uyuzo @sweetie-yoongi7 @marklexleaf

[anxiouslymalicious]

Write Christmas Day 5:

Request:Can there be a richie x daughter x the loser club where she feels insecure? Stan and eddie are both alive and reddie is happening and stan is being the cool sarcastic uncle. Just where everyone is trying to cheer her up :))) i love your work

A/N: woah, am I tired. This was kind of tough and is totally not based on actual events that traumatised the author for all eternity. Ah yes, fuck, I need me some losers to tell me that I‘m fucking amazing, thanks. I hope you like this, if not, hit me up and I‘ll redo it! Enjoy!

Anxious eyes travelled over her own figure in the mirror, covered in clothing spotting the most hideous, vibrant colours. Her teeth bit down on her lip on their own accord, trying hard to fight back the tears.

Rolls stood out where they shouldn’t be, bumps, just overall nothing that might look remotely like anyone could like it. Including her. And her crush who had laughed at her when one of their friends caught the two standing under a mistletoe, claiming that she wasn’t even close to their standards. Luckily, it was the last day of school before christmas and Y/N looked forward to spending the longest time in her bed, hiding away under the covers, avoiding all sorts of human contact.

She looked at her face and all she could see were imperfections. Pimples, scars, pores standing out, blackheads, something about her nose seemed off, now that she looked at it, and her teeth didn’t look the prettiest-

“Y/N, honey, are you almost ready? The Losers will be here soon.” one of her fathers told her through the door. Eddie. She smiled a little, before shouting back that she would be ready in a few. Followed by that, she threw off the hideous christmas sweater that was way too tight, as people in school had told her, and instead put on the baggiest sweatshirt she could find. It was one of Richie’s, merchandise from one of his first shows, and in a simple black colour. But most importantly, it hid the most part of her body comfortably. Red-white and blue leggings with a christmas print were exchanged for simple black ones, and even the christmas socks were exchanged into the simplest pair she could find in her closet.

Y/N was just heading out of her room, downstairs to snatch a snack from the kitchen when she heard a gasp from behind her.

“How dare you?” Richie asked, mockingly shocked. “How dare you walk around in something that is not screaming Christmas today of all days?!”

As she faced her old man, Y/N shrugged, not up for a homely therapy session. Richie and Eddie had a habit of sitting her down and telling her how pretty or how amazing she was when she was feeling down, but she had to talk about her own feelings first and that usually involved crying and exhaustion and she was really not feeling ready for that when the Losers could literally arrive at any moment.

“Just not in the mood, sorry dad.” she replied, continuing her way downstairs, making a sharp turn short before the kitchen. Maybe a snack wasn’t the best idea. Not when she felt that way about herself.

Richie watched her go, concerned with the sudden change he saw in her. That morning, Y/N had been so incredibly excited to walk out with her christmas clothing and the knowledge that the Losers were visiting to celebrate christmas with the Tozier-Kaspbraks had her giddy for weeks.

With a heavy heart, Richie went to look for his husband, placing a gentle kiss on the smaller man’s cheek as he was busy fixing snacks before Richie went to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie sighed, a small smile on his lips as he didn’t let his husband distract him.

“What’s wrong, Rich?” Eddie asked teasingly.

“Why would you think something’s wrong?”

“You’re my husband and I know you better than you think, dumbass.”

A breathy chuckle escaped Richie’s lips. With a swift movement, he stole a cookie from the jar, then fled the kitchen, knowing that Eddie was very likely to throw a fit as soon as he saw Richie with the christmas cookie stuffed in his mouth.

Just as he was about to join his pouting daughter in the living room, the doorbell rang for the first time that evening. And over the course of the next hour, all the Losers had arrived, ready to spend the rest of the day with all sorts of snacks and movies. Y/N, meanwhile, had sneaked back into her room, determined not to face any of the people she dreaded at the moment.

She didn’t think she would be able to look at Bev, looking effortlessly flawless. Or Ben who was undeniably attractive. Not just to Bev. And the overall happiness was just too much for her. Everything was too much.

But she couldn’t stay in her room forever. Eddie, being the mother hen he was, made her leave her room for dinner.

“Y/N, w-we missed y-you d-d-during the m-movie.” Bill smiled at the girl.

“Sorry, I’m not feeling too hot.” Y/N mumbled in return, gaze fixed on the food on her plate.

“Really? Because this morning you were up before Eddie. And I don’t think that shit has ever happened before.” Richie suddenly commented, voice altered to sound like the Irish Cop.

“I ate something wrong in school.”

“Are you alright, honey? Give me a second, I’ll-” Eddie started, immediately jumping up but he was pulled to sit back down by his husband.

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” Stan said. “I haven’t come all the way here to see you moping around. I want to see my fake-niece.”

Y/N threw her fork back down on the table, pushing her chair back and quickly getting up. She stormed towards the door, dodging Bev’s attempts at getting a hold of her and left the room. But not before throwing a ‘Fuck this shit.’ at the group.

The Losers looked at one another, frozen in shock, none of them really knowing what had just happened.

Meanwhile, Y/N darkened the room, let her exhausted body fall to her bed and pulled the covers up to her face. Everything was just too much. And so, she cried. Sobbing and sniffling and coughing. Her pillow was wet with tears when she heard a clicking sound coming from the door and just a second later, the bright light from the hallway entered the room. One after another, the Losers entered the room, all moving to either sit or stand by her side.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Ben asked, worry very much present.

“If this is because of what I said-” Stan started, but was rudely interrupted.

“It’s not because of you, uncle Stan.” Y/N mumbled, sitting up slowly. Her hands landed in her lap as her dad’s sat down on either side of her, grabbing a hand each.

“Then what is it?”

“I just had a rough day. People were making fun of my clothes, my best friend ditched our promise to dress up in our ugliest christmas sweaters, and- and… My crush refused to kiss me under the mistletoe because I’m not pretty enough.” Y/N finally admitted.

“Oh honey…” Eddie said, immediately embracing his daughter, pulling her close to his chest as she let go.

“Y/n, you are amazing just the way you are. You are absolutely stunning. I even refused to believe that Richie’s your father because you’re so pretty.” Bev told the girl, knowing the insecurities that gnawed on her inside.

“Hey!” Richie threw in, ending up ignored.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think of your clothes as long as you’re happy. When I was your age, all I had were old shirts from other family members. Other kids also made fun of me. But I had my Losers who stuck with me.” Mike argued.

“Your looks don’t define you. Even after I lost weight, I was still the same Loser as before.” Ben threw in.

“A-a-and l-love takes t-time. L-look a-at R-R-Richie and Eddie.I-It took them t-twenty-s-seven years and a k-killer clown to f-f-find love.”

And so, it went on. Each of the Losers argued against the negative things the young girl would utter. Until her tears were finally dried and a smile was etched on her face.

“Hey, Richie, you don’t happen to still have that bat you beat the clown with when we were kids, do you?” Stan suddenly asked, filling the room with laughter.

[bluesfm]

(  park  chaeyoung  ,  twenty two  ,  &  cisfemale  )  who  ?  these  days  ,  it’s  all  about    blue hyong,  who  comes  from    los  angeles  &  ca    and  is  making  headlines  as  a    singer    .    she   currently  has  a  fan  count  of  42k    ,  no  thanks  to  the  rumors  of  them  being  inflexible  !  but  ,  on  the  other  hand  ,  their  most  devout  fans  say  they’re  actually    imaginative    .  last  i  heard  ,  they  caused  quite  a  buzz  when    she   publicly   dissed    her  new   record    label  and   the   misogynistic  treatment   she  was   receiving   from   their  reps  !  it’s  no  wonder  they  remind  me  of    long   rants   in  the  notes  app   being  posted   to  her   twitter  account  ,  empty  bottles   of  wine  laying  at   recording   studios’   floors   &  notebooks   upon  notebooks   filled  with   lyrics   she  might   never  use   but   refuses   to   let   go  of   .  

well hello human friends !! n also hello to the non human friends too , wassup . i’m angie a  dumb  noodle  from  the  middle  of  the  south  american  jungle  , and i’m here to introduce yall to this mess i call blue  who’s  a muse i have had  for yrs now n carry w/ me wherever i go , with some minimal changes but she’s still the  same  messy  bitch  on the  inside  don’t  worry  folks !  so   i  will   provide  u w/  some  background  info  on   her  n  some   possible connections  under   the  cut . issa  lil messy  but  we’ve   been  away  for  a while   pls  bear  w me

blue  is  the  only  daughter  to  a  couple   of  south  korean  immigrants  that  came  to   america  when  they  were  in  their  very  early  20s  n  already  expecting  blue  in  order  to  chase  the  american  dream  n  create  a  better  life  for  themselves  n  their  family  .  their  life  was  pretty  hard  for  a  big  part  of  blue’s  childhood  ,  while  they  were  both  studying  n  working  odd  jobs  to  pay  for  their  education  all  the while  taking  care  of  a child .  so  blue  didnt  have  the  best  childhood  ,  not  that  her parents  were  bad  or  anything  they  just  didnt  have  time  for  her  . nowadays  ,  they  are  a  lot  more  comfortable  in  life  ,  since  her  dad  became  a  lawyer  n  her  mom  is  a  nurse  ,  but  they  definitely  didnt  have  an  easy  beginning  .

ok  so  maybe  bc  they  werent  present  durant  most  of  her  childhood  they  didnt  notice  a  lol  of  signs  that  might  have  made  things  a  lot  easier  for  them  ,  bc  by  the  time  they  were  available  to  emotionally  be  there  , during  her  early  teenage  years ,  blue  was  already  kinda  a  mess . she  had  grown  up  w  very  lil  structure  n  refused  the  rules  they  tried  to  instill  on  her  n  was  already  used  to  doing  things  her  own  way  .  that  lead  to  a  lot  of  conflict  between  them  ,  since  they  expected  her  to  study  hard  n  do  well  for  herself  in  a  nine to fiver  when  she  was  already  sure  art  was  the  only  way  to  go  n  while  she  did  ok  ,  she  definitely  wasn’t  as  good  as  her parents  expected  her  to  be .

so  ...  u  know   her  teenage  yrs  were  basic  girl  angsty  she  fought  a  lot  w  her  parents  n  rebelled  frequently  n  ran  away  from  home  like  ...  weekly  ,  but  she  never  rly  had  any  real  hardships  .  life  was  reasonably  good  but  she  always  had  something  to  complain  abt  ...  just  as  she  liked

[  MENTAL  ILLNESS  TW  ]

but  then  she  reached  her  late  teens    they  all  realized  there  was  something  going  on  other   than  the  usual  teenage  angst  she  displayed  all the time  when  she  had  her  first  manic  episode  .   her  parents  thought  it was  a  “  blue  thing  “  at  first  bc  she  was  usually  a  very  impulsive  person  n  she  rly  didn’t  have  a  habit  of  thinking  before  acting  on  her  impulses  ,   but  her  mom  quickly  noticed  the  signs  of  a  manic  episode  when  she  realized  how  aggitated  n   restless  she  was  , specially  when  blue  described  an   hallucination  she  seemed  to  be  having  .   they  took  her  to  a  psychiatrist  ,  she  was  admitted  to  a  hospital  n  diagnosed  w  type 1  bipolar  disorder  n  very  quickly  medicated .  while  the  medication  brought  her  out  of  her  episode  ,  n  she  was  allowed  to  go  home  after  her  mood  seemed  to stabilize  ,   blue  also  noticed  it  stunted  her  severely  emotionally  n  decided  (  against  medical  n  parental  advice  [  pls  dont  do  it  fam  !!  take  ur  meds  ]  )  to  quit  her  medication  ,  falling  into  her  first  major  depressive  episode  a  few  weeks  afterwards  . n  for  abt  four  years  she’s  been  living  w  her  disorder  ,  n  she  doesn’t  medicate  at  all  .  she’s  super  open  abt  her struggles  n  she  has  a  Lot  of  them  ,  specially  w  how  much  drugs  n  alcohol  she  consumes  .   i  never  said  she  was  smart  yall  .

[  END  OF  TW  ]

ok  so  as  u  probably  assume  ,   blue  is  an  emotional  mess  .  she  has  a   very  chaotic  personality  ,  n  most  of it  isnt  even  from  her  illness or  anything  she  just  is  a  very  chaotic  person  in  general  ?  she  is   one  of  those  artsy  ppl  who  forgets  to  wash  her  own  clothes  so  she  ends  up  wearing  the  same  dress for  like  ,  3 days .  she’s  super  outspoken  n  outgoing  n  rly easy  at  making  friends  if  u�� can  get  past  the  dumbass energy  she  exudes 24/7  ?  but  yes  just  a  very  outgoing  person  n  a  outright  mess  most  of  the  time  .  she  is  also  soooo stubborn  u  will  never  get  her  to  change  her  mind  abt  smth  she  believes  to  be  right  about  in  any  way  .  u  just  cant  .  she  loves  a  good  time  n  loves  partying  n  is  the  lack  of  impulse  Queen  soo if  u  got  any  bad  ideas  she  is  the  one   u  should  go  for  if  u  need  any  company  .  also .... so dramatic  .  she  makes  a  big  deal  of  everything  n  has  0  apologies  abt  that  .  just  catch  her  crying  over  high  school  musical  3  or  smth  like  that  .

but  yea  on  the  bad  side  tho  ,  blue  takes  up  n  gives  up  on  projects  so  easily  n  she  can  be  super  fickle  abt  things  in  general  .  like  ,  she  will  defend  an  idea  for  7  hours  but  2  days  later  she’s  already  onto  smth  else  n  doesnt  even  remember  being  so  obsessive  abt  that  other  thing  ?  a  mess .  is  also  Quite  abrasive  ?  if  she  thinks  ur  acting  dumb  shes  not  gonna  be  scared  to  call u  out  on  it  .  can  also  have a  Reaally  explosive  temper  .  not  usually  but  specially  during  manic  episodes  she  can  be  quite  easy  to  annoy  ngl  .  is  very  unreliable  ,  especially  if ur not  too  close  ..  tbh  that  is  something  connected  to  her  disorder  .  when  she’s  on  a  manic  episode  ,  she  will be  too busy  planning  things  she  will  never  get  around  to  doing  or  painting  her  entire  house  or  spending  3  days  awake  n  drunk  writing  17  songs  by  herself  .  n  during  her  depression  is  very  hard  to  get  her  to  do  anything  n  even  if  she  feels  terrible  , she  rly  cant be  an  available  friend  .

in  regards  to  her  sexuality  ,  she’s  an  open  bisexual  and   also  is  a  crazy  romantic  n  falls  so  hard  for  literally  no  reason .  but  like  ...  doesnt  have  the  healthiest  mentality  for  relationships  ?  not  like  in  a  toxic  way  but  she  will usually  give  145%  of  herself  at  all times  n  honestly  believes  all  of  the  ppl  she  falls  for  are  the one (1)  just  wants  to  make  things  work  no  matter  what  .  she’s  v  impulsive  w/  meeting  n  falling  for  ppl  tho  so  things  dont  rly  end  up  working  n  she  always  ends  up  heartbroken  over it  .  Well  .  At least she’s  trying  right  ?

in regards  to  her  career  n  art  , she’s  posted  youtube  covers  n  original  songs  for  a  couple  years  and  gathered a  decent  following  ?  she  wasnt  huge  or  anything  but  she  did  get  a  record  deal  w  an  actual  big  label  out  of  it  a  few  months  ago  .  blue  was  pretty  happy  abt  it  but  then  when  the  recording  process  started  she  realized  they  werent  treating  her  as she  thought  she  deserved  at  all  ?  which  resulted  on her  taking  her  thoughts  to  some  reps  of  the  label  n  when  she  didn’t  feel  any  difference  in  the  way  she  was  being  treated  she  took  it  to  the public  ?  which  definitely  caused  quite a  sitr  bc  she  wasn’t  a  huge  name  but  she  was  big  enough  ?  so  now  she’s  in  some  considerable  trouble  w  her  label  but  Also  more  famous  than  ever  so  they  are  choosing  not  to  bury  her  for  now  ?  she’s  in  some  definite  trouble  though  so  it’ll  be  fun  to  see  what  happens  next  n  what  her  moves  will be  ?  spoiler  alert :  it’ll prob  be  smth  dumb.

i  still have  so  much  to  say  but  i’m  so lazy  wow .  dont  start  ur  intros  so  close  to opening  time  folks  thats  my  tip  as  an  old  internet  auntie  .  OK SO  ONTO  SOME  CONNECTIONS  NOW  

some label  mates  who  she  may  or  may  not  get  along  with  ?

hookups !!  she  prob  has  a  few  she  regrets  too   bc  who  doesnt  am i  right

best  friends !!  ppl  who  actually  support  her  n  she  loves  w  no restrictions  just  love  all  around  friends

exes </3  not  gonna  lie  i  have  some  sad  ideas  abt  this  one

good  influence  bc  blue  is  a  mess she  needs  one  of  those  pls  someone  slap  her  head  n  make  her  drink  some  water

a  fling  she  has  feelings  for  but  may  not  be  requited  ...  i  like  my  romantic  connections  to  be  angsty  did yall  notice

artistic  soulmate  !!  someone  her  artistic  bitch  side  just  vibes  with  ?  could  be  a  songwriter  or  singer or  anything  tbh

some   indecisive  romantic   shit where blue rly  knows  sh’s  too messy  n  this  person  is too amazing ?  but  they still  have  feels  so   ... now  what ?

this is  p  mcuh  it ??  it  has  taken so long  to  finish  this  i  hate  myself  but  HEY  if  u  like  blue  or  dislike  her  u  should  hit  me  up  so  we  can  come  up  w  some  plot  ideas  ?  i wish  i  had  a  quirky  goodbye  idea  but  my  brain  has  just  quit  working  guys  so  u  get  nothing  from  me  other than  a  good  old  fashioned goodbye  thanks  for ur  attention  i  love u

[micahss]

how micah looks down at his line before snorting it up (warning, drug mention, parental neglect)

here’s some statistics !! just a lil ..

full name: micah abel jeon nickname(s): doesn’t like nicknames,have to be named rosie to nickname him age: 22. date of birth: january 12th 1997 hometown: dallas, texas current location: milan, italy ethnicity: korean gender: cis male. religion: agnostic. sexuality: bisexual. education: has a high school diploma, no college.  language(s) spoken: korean & english hair colour: light brown eye colour: brown piercings: ears, both, left double helix piercing, 

✞ FAMILY LIFE .....

easy bullet points for my friends, the brat muns ...  also bc im typing this while i have a cold and im too tired from work to rly be ArtSy, 

micah abel jeon, MAJ if you will, was born to two loving parents..

SIKE, THEY’RE DEMONS, like his dad was a HUGE director, very respected in the business and heavily awarded, an award winning director, like oscars big. his mother was a socialite / model, think like naomi campbell but not that iconic, 

no one really thought the socialite and the director would last, considering how much shit that came out about them, (cheating scandals, public fights, being absent from each other for so long,) but they did ? they oddly worked with each other and lasted, god knows why, the media still loves them till this day, 

fast forward from their problems, sinclair jeon and valentina jeon had one son and he is their only son, micah abel jeon. 

parents are supposed to be warm, loving, kind, supportive - you would think so right ? to have them support you in whatever way shape or form but nah, since micah was in diapers he was forced into acting, and since their big names in the world getting him his first diaper gig wasn’t so hard, 

micah’s parents wanted a child prodigy, they got him involved in his toddler years in as many activities as he can but there was nothing more perfect than having a child that grew up knowing how to act and actually being good at it, like you have your bad child actors and then you have your first and only child prodigy that won his first award at 8, like that was big on them

they continued to push him into acting roles he did not, no matter how much he pleaded with his parents that he doesn’t want to do this anymore, he wants to be quote on quote.. normal, like he just wants to live his life but up until he was 15, his parents had full control over him,

what to eat for roles, what roles to take, how to present yourself in the media, to seem like a picture perfect family but what was so perfect if you’re the puppet of the worlds two biggest stars who only birthed you to use you as a piece in their selfishness? 

come the age of 15, micah has had enough that he wants to emancipate from his parents and at that point they had complete control of his assets, everything he ever made never came to him but his parents, so what does he do?

hires a lawyer, steals some of his own money, takes his parents to court

it was on national tv, headlines everywhere addressed “MICAH JEON SUING PARENTS VALENTINA & SINCLAIR JEON ! “ “MICAH JEON DIVORCING HIS PARENTS OVER MONEY” “HAS MICAH BEEN NEGLECTED ?” paps swarmed him, his parents, his home, his street for days and at that point he was on the outs with his parents. but he didn’t care, he’d show up to court expressionless and explained he had nothing left to do with his family anymore, and that they have ruined him since he was a baby, 

of course, he’s an actor and he’s such a good actor too like a blessing and a curse on behalf of his parents but karma is like that huh val n sin ? but in court that boy MILKED EVERY SECOND, it was just another role, playing an estranged boy who hates his parents

he won the sympathy of the jury, the judge and the public and his names was everywhere when he won the case, micah hasn’t talked to his parents since. so he packed up, moved out, once the money was transferred over, he with nina & rosie, searched for his first home independently, like he only has nina & rosie as family, and his pr team thts it 

all micah ever wanted was to disappear from a very young age, have his own cafe somewhere vacant, somewhere where no one would recognize him like call it a cliche but he really just wants to have a little bird inside of a cafe and to deal with just customers, that was it from a young age and go to school but he was robbed of that and resents it everyday..

✞ MICAH JEON’S LIFE AFTER THE CASE

see, now you would think the boy would stop acting and go pursue something else but his life was literally never gna be normal, he was recognized everywhere he went and he hated it, but also it was a good source of income

he gets the title, hollywoods devil because he literally is such a pain in the ass to work with, if he doesn’t like the littlest thing about you or what you’re doing he wants you fired and his PR team has been with him since he was a baby so tehy understand him better than his own family did

he was called for roles after roles into his 20′s that he became hollywoods biggest actor, from blockbuster films to small cameos like his fanbase is so big its ridiculous and people know, like they know if micah is in the movie even for a split second the ratings would be higher than what they’d expect

after the show he put on in court when he was 15 ? that gained him A LOT of sympathy and since then he grew as an actor, and at this point he’s indifferent to his job, he still hates it, still wants a cafe somewher quiet in like sicily or something but being recognized day after day makes it harder

✞ WHO IS MICAH ? 

micah is a frail fragile child without a childhood, he never had one, never wasoffered one, most kids had toys, he had scripts, red carpets, like this boy has grown up and not grown up at the same time

because he never really had a childhood, he acts out in the most childish ways, if he doesn’t like you, he will call in for a rumor, if you’re bothering him on set, he’ll fire you and the thing is they can’t fire him because they know they’ll lose money, and hollywood and money, we know how a capitalistic society works !

he manipulates a lot of situations for his benefit and if you call him out on it, he’s like huh?

one hobby he stayed with was playing the piano, it’s really soothing for days he wants to have a panic attack over his life, like he has a piano at his home in malibu / shared apartment w his friends, he’s probably gna order a whole ass piano for their new place in milan like good morning MY piano don’t touch.  he likes playing it when he’s sad, a lot .. its his fav thing to do is hum and play :/ he has kind of a childish aura when he does, like part of who he was is there when he’s in element... :/ 

he developed an addiction to cocaine when he was 17, he went to a party and someone told him to try blow, it wouldnt harm him just get him high, so he did, and it was the happiest he ever felt like cocaine gives him this rush weed / alcohol doesnt like when he needs an energy / mood boost he turned to cocaine, at first it was a few times every few months but now he has a problme he won’t even address it

sometimes at 3 am on the dot like don’t ask me why 3 am specifically but he just has a full on breakdown and thats it, crying is good for teh soul and he does it a lot KFMDG, hes such a mess he needs help but refuses help 

personality wise he’s absent a lot when you talk to him, like kind of like talking to a void ? like even on twitter people tweet about their day and this man is tweeting about his grocery list hes unreal and has two brain cells but yeah i think.. that’s it, for now .. that’s micah .. my dumbass <3

✞ BRAT PACK

you know, people ask him how does he feel under that title and he justlooks at laughs because till this day he just thinks its one running gag that someone really sat there and associated him with other people

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 405

MURTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

The end.

Y’all I haven’t fangirled about an episode of Outlander this much since season fucking one. And can I just say, I fucking missed this feeling. I missed this feeling so fucking much. Comparing this episode to the ones with all of the book dialogue awkwardly crammed in makes me really hope they start throwing the book out the window more and more, and instead just do whatever they want in order to tell a good story.

AND I JUST FUCKING LOVE MURTAGH OK!

PETITION TO LET CLAIRE HAVE FRIENDS WHO DON’T MURDER PEOPLE/GET MURDERED!

Just the mutual respect between Claire and Adawehi gives me the warm fuzzies.

Adawehi: “She is here. No, not in your heart, woman. I mean actually here. Like physically here. Yes, I know you find it comforting to think your daughter is always with you in your heart, but I’m telling you, she can also literally be with you, like in your house.” Claire: “Yeah, it’s really too bad I had to leave her, but at least she’s here in my memories...” Adawehi: “You’re killing me, lady.”

JOKING ASIDE ADAWEHI DESERVED BETTER AND I LOVE HER AND MUELLER IS THE WORST.

Gerhard, not Robert.

I love the white sow with my whole heart.

LOOKIT THESE DOMESTIC FRASERS WORRYING ABOUT HATS AND JERKY.

I’m laughing at Jamie so hard for thinking that Scots are just going to jump at the chance for free land...that ties them to the English government. Like bro, some of the Scots in North Carolina actually give a shit about what the English did to Scotland. And don’t immediately get in bed with them, (especially when it’s common knowledge that they cheat and steal from people) and become the sort of people they fought against.

It’s like Jamie and Claire were like hmmm, our only two options are to move to Boston where we’ll be right in the middle of the revolution or become the colonizing/occupying force we fought against in Scotland. And the rest of the Scots are like nah, bro.

OH HEY JAMIE, WHY YA TAKIN’ THAT CANDLESTICK?! TO GET A RING MADE PERHAPS??? *fangirling intensifies*

“I love bacon.” Same, Young Ian. So much same.

Lady Boner for Frontier!Beauchamp.

Oooh, we’re doing Jamie’s visions are we?

I really do appreciate them doing damage control after last season including Jamie thinking of Bree this season. And I love how ever since Claire came back to Jamie, Bree is still a constant presence in her life. And she continues to live with the cost of her choice to return to Jamie.

Y’all Claire lost her parents. She left Uncle Lamb when she got married. She lost Frank woohoo! when she went through the stones. She lost Jamie after Culloden. And she lost Bree when she went back to Jamie. She’s never really had all of the people who are important to her with her all at the same time. AND IN A COUPLE OF EPISODES SHE WILL AND I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT! I SHIP CLAIRE AND HAPPINESS AND SHE WON’T FULLY HAVE THAT UNTIL HER WHOLE FAMILY IS TOGETHER AND GUYS I HAVE FEELINGS.

Nice hat, Roger MacSeedot.

Miss Baird: “I can see she broke your heart.” Me: *recaps the last couple episodes* Miss Baird: “Actually, she’s better off without you. You’re kind of the worst. Good day to you MacSeedot. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Just noticed that this pic that was tweeted about Wilmington is actually Woolam’s Creek. Lulz.

Ok is this lady flirting with Jamie only supposed to be setting up him telling Bree that he’s a married man? Or else, like, what’s the point? We know Jamie’s not going to cheat on Claire? If this is supposed to be like the Mme Jeanne fake out then hard pass, show.

“That’s a very impressive offer. But you see, the English fucked up our country. Our families. Our lives. And now they cheat and steal from us here, all the way across an ocean. Rent or no rent, I still have my principles.”

“Did six farmers just refuse the offer of land given without charge?”  “There’s no sense in it. Except that it makes them obliged to the English and, you know, as Scots we sort of don’t like them very much. So really I have no clue why they’d turn me down.”

Yo, I fucking love this change, tbh. Jamie’s a dumbass, but I’ve thought that about show!Jamie for a minute now so... Bahahaha. Bro. Rock on, farmers.

“Savages! They steal our water for their horses!” Y’all Mueller is the literal worst. But him being fucking awful, doesn’t mean Jamie and Claire are off the hook for also being fucking colonizers.

But seriously. Gerhard. You are a fucking monster.

“They have no reason to set foot on MY land!” Fuck ALL the way off, bruh.

Claire’s like “Please! I know they’re the literal worst and you’re literally just watering your horses on your own damn land, but please change your behavior to accommodate a racist af colonizer!” Which like, good on her for trying to deescalate the situation, but putting it on the wronged party to change to accommodate the white aggressor still isn’t a good look.

“Water belongs to no one.” Y’all this show claims not to be political, but making this conflict about water is relevant as fuck to the present. (For those who don’t click through to what I link, that’s a profile of the Standing Rock water protectors.)

This episode is really doing a lot to try to frame the Frasers as “good” colonizers. (Look! They make friends with their Cherokee neighbors whose land they’ve stolen! They’re trying to learn the Cherokee language! They respect the knowledge of Adawehi! They know Cherokee customs!) And the Muellers as “bad” colonizers. (This is our land! They shouldn’t be here! Fuck what they’re actually doing, I think they’re cursing us and therefore must murder their witch!) But show, let’s be real. Just like the “benevolent slave owner” is bullshit, the “good” colonizer is also bullshit.

Gerhard Mueller is an unforgivable piece of shit, but that doesn’t mean the Frasers are in the right.

Rollo the body guard is adorable and I 100% want a blooper reel of just him fucking up and Balfe being like OMFG DOG.

Claire tiredly flopping onto the bed is A FUCKING MOOD.

Y’all the Leoch music as Claire does the homestead chores gives me so many feelings. It meant she was starting to feel at home in Jamie’s time and is now signifying her being at home in the place they built together AND I JUST WANT MY BABY TO BE HAPPY OK.

For real though, I fucking love the white sow.

White Sow/Clarence 2020

Claire nudging Rollo out of her food is relatable af. *side eyes my cat*

Claire’s “good morning, ladies!” to the goats is my fucking everything. Also, pretty sure one of the goats is named Persephone and the person who posted this just didn’t know how to spell that. High five for animal name twins! I should get my cat a goat friend...

Claire drinking and being like oh this is gross and then drinking more anyway is also A Mood.

“’Tis my land after all.” Jamie says it in relation to the English. Mueller says it in relation to the Cherokee. Again trying to show a difference between the two, but *looks directly into the camera.*

MURTAGH MOTHERFUCKING FITZGIBBONS FRASER Y’ALL

Lol, I love that in the closed captions, Murtagh’s lines are noted as “Smith” before he turns around. Like we don’t recognized that crotchety voice.

Y’ALL I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT MURTAGH IS BACK.

Oh look, rando flirty woman is back. *hums Say No to This to self*

OMG THE LOOK ON MURTAGH’S FACE WHEN HE HEARS JAMIE’S VOICE IS LIKE THE SAME FACE THAT JAMIE MADE WHEN HE HEARD CLAIRE’S IN THE PRINT SHOP AND I AM SO FULL OF FEELINGS YOU GUYS

YES, HUG IT OUT, GUYS! *JOINS IN THE GROUP HUG FROM MY COUCH* I’M JUST SO HAPPY.

"I’m sorry. Citronella died. They got measles, but at least there were no mosquitoes.”

Gerhard Mueller is totally the sort of person who would shoot up a mosque or synagogue because of some bullshit, racist 4chan conspiracy theory. Entitled white men haven’t evolved at all in the last 200 years...

Yas, Claire, work that gun...

(gif source)

The way Jamie’s face lights up when Murtagh says he can do a bit of silversmithing though.

Y’ALL MURTAGH IS TOTALLY GONNA MAKE CLAIRE’S NEW RING AND THAT ANON I GOT TOTALLY CALLED IT AND I AM 1000% HERE FOR IT OMG YAAAS, SHOW, YAAAS.

Murtagh’s face when he thinks Jamie remarried is amazing. And Jamie sending Young Ian away when Murtagh asks if he married again is hilarious because like “Dude, please don’t blow up my spot about Laoghaire when I haven’t been able to fanboy with my godfather about my time traveling wife yet. And I need to fanboy about my time traveling wife with her literal #1 fan.”

*waits impatiently for Murtagh’s reaction to the Laoghaire marriage news*

For real, his reaction to that is going to be fucking aaaaaaaAAAHMAZINGGGG.

Y’ALL I WANT A CEBRF FANDOM WAR BETWEEN MURTAGH AND YOUNG IAN OVER WHO STANS CLAIRE MORE. “I regularly put my hands in other people’s body cavities for her!” “I’ve been stanning her for twice as long as you’ve been alive, laddie!”

THE CLAIRE ELIZABETH BEAUCHAMP FAN CLUB’S FOUNDING MEMBER IS BACK AND YOUNG IAN BETTER RECOGNIZE.

LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN JAMIE SAYS THAT CLAIRE CAME BACK! AND HE FUCKING *KNOWS* WHAT THAT MEANS! HE FUCKING PRAYED FOR HER AND HER BABY FOR YEARS AND TO KNOW SHE’S SAFE AND BACK WITH JAMIE AND HIS SHIP REALLY IS ENDGAME AND I’M JUST SO FULL OF HAPPINESS.

Da!Jamie bragging about his kid is endearing afffffffff.

*again side eyes how she was treated in ep. 306*

Ok, but I love that Murtagh doesn’t just like up and change his whole life to rejoin Jamie. It’s been a long time. He has his life. He loves Jame and he loves Claire, but just like they had changed, so has Murtz.

“We’ve had trouble finding tenants.” “Yeah, no shit. Come, Jamie, let me school you.”

Murtagh in a kilt and bonnet while Jamie is in breeks and a tricorn. Murtagh rousing the Scots against the thievery of the English and Jamie trying to get them to become indebted to the English. Which one is truly keeping the spirit of Scotland alive in North Carolina?

I’d bet money that the piece of tartan Murtagh has pinned over his heart is the same piece he’s had with him since Ardsmuir.

Mueller can fuck all the way off with his “we deserve to live because we believe in God” crap.

It *is* their land you fucking piece of shit.

The scene with Mueller when he brings Claire Adawehi’s scalp got me so fucking heated because there are so many white men in this country today who share the same/very similar beliefs to him in regards to various minority groups or people they see as “Other.” Fuck each and every one of those men.

Claire’s funeral for Adawehi is very moving though.

#AdawehiDeservedBetter

You brought this on yourself, Herr Mueller. Good riddance.

But Frau Mueller, yet another woman who is the collateral damage of the shitty actions of men.

Rollo is the least intimidating guard dog ever.

HE REMEMBERS HER SONG AND IT’S LIKE THEIR LITTLE INSIDE JOKE AND HE DOES HIS LITTLE DANCE AND HER FACE AND HIS FACE AND GUYS I AM SO FULL OF FEELINGS AND I LOVE THE TWO OF THEM SO MUCH AND GUYS I AM SO EXCITED FOR MURTAGH TO BE AGGRESSIVELY #TEAMCLAIRE WHEN HE FINDS OUT ABOUT LAOGHAIRE AND FOR HIM TO MEET BREE AND EVEN FOR HIM TO MEET WILLIE AND GUYS THEY SAVED MURTAGH AND I LOVE MURTAGH AND YOU DID A GOOD THING, SHOW.

Ok the letter that Bree left for Roger makes him look even worse for going after her tbh. Like he wasn’t supposed to see it for a year and it was like clearly an “open if I’m dead” thing so like he knows she clearly is intending to come back. But instead of listening to her, he off and does what he thinks is right instead. Which means he’s learned *nothing* since the proposal. Fuck that guy.

Roger really is Frank. He wants a marriage like Frank and Claire had pre-stones. Where it's all about him and what he wants to do and the wife is just along to support him in that endeavor. *gestures at episode 101* Between reading the books again and watching this season, Roger really is the worst and I don't think the show will do anything that comes close to redeeming him since *gestures at how they wrote Jamie last season* so at this point I ship Bree with her damn self. She doesn't need a man to live her fullest life. Especially one like fucking Roger.

Bree is too good for Roger and this is the hill I will die on.

But y’all! Bree’s gonna get to be with her mom again! And meet Jamie! And look hot af in period clothes! AND MEET MURTAGH!

*focuses aggressively on that instead of Rape and Rogergate*

GUYS MURTAGH IS BACK!!!!!!!!!

[lokiarsene]

like yesterday, here's a bullet list of my thoughts for episodes 18~21

thoughts on episode 18:

oh no, it's the beach episode.

-- i really like how they show the way the PT take care of futaba. ren patiently cleaning up her room in between hours at the florist, them playing vidya with her, or just having lunch together in montage moments is very sweet. it makes me wish the anime had much slower pacing, more slice of life-y kind of drama.

-- watching yusuke, ryuji, and futaba lose their freakin minds over good curry is VERY relatable.

-- i still don't understand why ann and makoto thought that a two piece frilly bathing suit was the way to go with futaba. a one piece that she could wear under a long wrap or a hoodie would've made so much more sense... but >male gaze

-- have i told y'all how fucking tired i am of the sexualization of the teenage girls in p5 yet, and how it is one of the several things that fuckin ruined this game for me

have i?

well here it is again

none of the previous games were as bad as this b t w and p4 had one of the dungeons be a STRIP CLUB.

-- yusuke and his lobsters are wonderful.

-- oh god i forgot COMPLETELY about the whole 'mental shutdowns' thing in this game's plot. i think because it's all so pointlessly convoluted. p3 had something similar but even there it was just people turned catatonic for weeks on end when the monthly boss-shadows drew near.

i think the reason i find this so hard to understand is because from p3 to p4 the rules of shadows didn't really change so much. p3 had the persona users go up against shadow bosses; p4 had people confront the shadows within themselves, either accepting them completely (which then turned into persona), or the shadow 'absorbed' the person and ran rampant as a monster. neither of those rules really contradict each other, but in p5 personal shadows for persona users are gone completely, and how you deal with other people's personal shadows doesn't even involve them being present to complete the merge.

mona says that persona users can't have palaces, but persona users in 4 could and DID have 'dungeons' within the shadows' worlds. these dungeons dealt specifically with what was at the core of the shadows' emergence--a deep secret and a hidden truth that caused the shadow to grow, a place that was a replica and a distortion of reality based upon that suppressed truth. so that sure sounds like a fucking palace to me.

so....................... unless there's like, multiple realities folded into our own, and persona users can only access certain ones.................. i'm just super confused.

like, i know it's because the rules change game to game, but p3 to p4 didn't have any contradictions, and p2 didn't contradict anything in p3, either. it just went from a full party of wild card users to a singular one.

-- i'm glad ann's getting a little screentime here. i was just thinking about how other characters' development was lacking after makoto and futaba got so much focus.

-- mona's so sweet to ann ;-; now that he has a human form in p5r, i hope they become really good friends. she needs a kind guy friend that'll be reliable~ plus he makes her laugh.

-- sojiro talking about the anniversary of wakaba's death is......... really interesting........ considering that screenshot of futaba sitting next to a woman with the exact same haircut as her "deceased" mother.

-- ren reassuring mona that he absolutely has to be human, that he will return to who he used to be once they figure out what's happening in the metaverse is jsut jdfklasd

AND HIS LIL ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN MONA TALKS ABOUT ALL THE THINGS HE'S GOING TO DO TO KEEP THE WORLD SAFE ;-;

AND THAT SHOT OF HIM SLEEPING CURLED UP ON REN'S STOMACH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-- listen i know mona isn't rly a cat but he's the BEST cat

thoughts on episode 19:

oh it's the hawaii episode.

-- man what the hell kinda budget do these school's got that they can just go overseas with dozens of students on a yearly basis? that's impressive.

-- ryuji: "whoa, awesome! ..... i don't really get it, but awesome!" fjdsafds okay that got a laugh outta me. good one, ryuji.

-- ren: "i'm excited, too." (said in a monotone) fjklsadsl BLESS THIS BOY

-- ren's FACE when he learns that futaba installed a spying app on his phone and can hear him/see pictures he takes is...... kind of hilarious. especially if you have the headcanon that he and akechi send dumbass snapchats to each other a lot--which i do. and which you do now, too.

-- mona's depression is ten times more sad because he's a cat okay :c why they gotta make the cat so cute

-- ren, ryuji, and ann's lil sleepover is adorable. especially since ann chastises ryuji for not knowing one of the basic rules of a sleepover: if you start talkin' about your crushes, you gotta start with your own~ thems the rules lads

-- rip principal bloatneck.

-- honestly that truck shoulda at least TRIED to stop.

-- "A LO HA." goddammit that's adorable

AND HE GIVES THE LEI NECKLACE TO MONA FJDSKFJDSKL ren you're so SWEET.

-- I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT MONA CALLS SAE "ONEE-NO-NIIJIMA" FJADSKLFJDSKL ahhhh it's so cute.

-- the PT targeting okumura, who is essentially the dave thomas with political ambitions of the persona 5 world, is far funnier now that i phrase it like that.

-- ANN, OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE, SAYING THAT THEY PROBABLY BROUGHT THIS RECENT TROUBLE ON THEMSELVES, IS A FUCKING STUPID WRITING DECISION. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE DIDN'T LOOK AT THAT AND GO, "ANN WOULDN'T SAY THIS. ANN HAS NO REASON TO SAY IT." god. lmao PLEASe let p5r be a goddamn second draft.

-- mona's totally right that ryuji's just concerned with getting popular and his dick wet. like,,, that's why this argument only made me hate ryuji more than i already did. he gets pissy when mona points out the truth.

god he sucks lmao

I'M SORRY I'M SO SALTY YOU GUYS

LOOK I'LL SAY SOMETHING NICE: SAE AND AKECHI ARE COOL

-- i really like how guarded akechi's face looks in his conversation with sae, and how off his guard he looks when she tells him that she's not going to hold back, especially since the culprit is doing such dire, awful things. he's not exactly surprised, but he's definitely uneasy and shaken by what he hears. which makes me wonder who he’s really concerned for--himself, or for ren (and the PT by extension, but akechi only really seems to care about ren, so).

the reason i like that is because the okumura arc in p5 is really where akechi's mind starts its downward spiral. principal kobayakawa's death obviously rattled him, especially since the only reason the principal died was because shido saw him as useless and disposable, something akechi is desperate NEVER TO BE. and it's that + what happens with okumura that really kicks him over the edge.

i hope p5r will give us the chance to pull him back from it. he deserves a better chance than the game's subpar writing gave to him.

thoughts on episode 20:

-- ren wakes up in a panic because he thinks he sees mona on his bed ;___________;

-- goro snoopin' on the PT's LOUD, TOTALLY CONSPICUOUS conversation in front of okumura foods' HQ is kind of adorable if you remember he clearly loves star wars (HE HAS A LIGHT SABER), and the camera cuts to his face right as they're talking about big bang and outer space lingo.

-- oh, haru. i really wish you were the black mask. that would've been so much cooler--and an actual twist. her total hopeless panic about being a beauty thief could still be a thing (because it is actually endearing), it'd just be an act. but that's me talkin' fix-its again.

-- i really like the scene of haru defending mona to the PT on the rooftop, then cutting to show just how strained her relationship is with her father. she exists to be useful to her father's ambitions and nothing else, and that scene really drove home just how painful that is for her.

-- REN TWIRLS HIS HAIR BETWEEN TWO FINGERS WHEN HE'S DEEP IN THOUGHT. AHHHHHHH I FORGOT HE DID THAT

-- oh hey remember how the game went through the trouble of showing how haru's fiance is a sexist, violent, animal-hurting piece of shit and then promptly failed to actually separate her from him in game (i think you only can do that in her s-link?? the s-link you can barely finish in your first run of the game??), and in t hEN SHOWED HER IN THE CAR WITH HIM LATER, LOOKING HORRIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE?

god this story makes me so fucking mad lmfao STOP PUTTING GIRLS IN PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY VIOLENT PERIL AND NEVER ACTUALLY ENSURING THAT THEY'RE SAFE, YOU DAVID CAGE LEVEL OF HACK BULLSHIT WRITERS.

-- ryuji running into the attic, all worried about mona, with a first aid kit, is..... very good. very good and endearing. good on you, ryuji.

-- haru gently encouraging mona to tell the truth is also really good. idk if i just missed it in the game or what, but i really like how she's presented in the anime. she's like a counterpart to ren--soft, sincere, observant, patient, yet she's made of pure steel beneath all that.

thoughts on episode 21:

-- WHY WAS HARU'S GRANDFATHER GIVING COFFEE TO A FIVE YEAR OLD

-- haru, the reason your father's heart grew twisted is thanks to capitalism. you gotta change the heart of capitalism.

-- not to be all poochie here but whenever akechi isn't on screen, all i can ask myself is whERE'S AKECHI?

-- HOW CAN I TAKE THE EVIL DAVE THOMAS SERIOUSLY WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE FUCKIN MEGAMIND?

-- okay see this is where i'm thrown completely out of the story or even really liking haru. haru just listened to her dad's shadow saying he would PIMP HER OUT TO HER FIANCE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. and she still is just like ~no i want him to go back to being kind~

bitch are you nuts

are you NUTS

youR DAd SHOULD DIE AND YOU'D BE BETTER OFF

CONSIDERING HOW THE GAME GOES, YOU ARe BETTER OFF

god. i'm getting so mad again lmao

-- ren approaching haru to point out that if the truth of her father's crimes comes to light, she'll forever be associated with him (and with all the harm and ruined reputation that brings) is, once again, further reminder of just how... damn good ren is. he doesn't hesitate to speak from the heart nor does he ever fail to listen to someone else speak from theirs.

-- also not for nothing but uh

how did the cops not like

figure out how the PT phan-site was set up within the first few months and track it down to mishima? was that ever addressed at all?

-- honestly another reason why i get so fucking mad about this okumura stuff is the game goes SO FAR OUT OF ITS WAY to make you feel BAD that he died, when he was by all rights a fucking shitheel monster, yet when akechi dies it's like 'oh well. that sucked.' fuck off, atlus. the death of a greedy, heartless CEO isn't more sad just because his gaslit daughter is conditioned to be sad about it.

i understand that a large part of the shock after okumura's death is because the PT don't know if they did anything wrong. but okumura was in no way a good person. he was in no way a person whose redemption overruled all the hurt and harm he did. that has been the case for EVERY PT target before this, so why the fuck is okumura suddenly so different? why SHOULD he be?

the difference between him and, say, akechi is that okumura et. al. all made those choices on their own to do terrible things. they delighted in it, they enjoyed it. but akechi, much like futaba, was forced into a cycle of self-destruction--it’s just that in futaba’s case, her self-destruction targeted herself, and akechi’s was quite literally weaponized and used against others. he approached shido as a young teenager and was then used by him for years.

a teenage boy being used as a magical hitman by his shitlord father is far more deserving of sympathy and redemption than grown adults who willingly make the decision to harm, abuse, and prey on others. but no, the game didn’t want to do that.

this is another big problem i have with p5's second and third acts: it's so tonally dissonant and sloppy. it's like they didn't try to actually be as rebellious and hellraiser-y as the first act WANTED to be, and it all ends up being such a limp-dick shriveled mess of "let's fight against this rotten society!! ......... as long as it in no way actually upsets anyone or does any REAL change." fuck off lmao

that's not me even commenting on the "twist" and how it needed to be explained MULTIPLE TIMES to the player for it to make any sense.

and it still doesn't make sense to me btw.

so that's another thing i hope p5r fixes.

-- rip evil dave thomas megamind.

-- akechi floating the idea to sae that the phantom thieves had nothing to do with okmura’s death is............................ interesting.