#seeing 4 things of her today isn’t a coincidence it’s her begging to be fed

[doughyduo]

I think it’s really cool when she has a gut that touches the floor and thighs the size of mattresses and a butt to match and arms that weigh more than you do.

[playingwithfirefanfic]

Chapter 74 pt. ll Closure.

Jhene:

The door knocked softly before it pushed open and this time Chris stuck his head around the door. “Your not going to kick me out again are you?” He joked to lighten the mood, I just continued to stare at him cautiously, no smile, no chuckle, nothing. Not achieving the humorous response from me that he was hoping for, Chris sighed quietly to himself before he gently closed the room door “Can I sit here?” he asked gesturing towards the space on the bed. I nodded in agreement and then he sat down on the edge of the bed. For a moment there was complete silence between the two of us, I was fighting the urge not to cry and I could see from my peripheral that he was racking his brain trying to figure out what exactly to say to me, but the silence was daunting and uncomfortable, nothing like it had been in the past, if a stranger were to walk into the room in the moment, they would’ve never guessed the extensive history between the two of us. Finally we both went to speak, our words colliding at the same time. “You go first” he said to me.

“Kyra told me your going back to prison” my voice came out lighter than expected.

“Yeah” he sighed sadly

"What happened?”

"The judge got me for probation violation. That night at ol’boys crib they got me on the surveillance” he explained, referring to the night that he foolishly broke into Marlon’s place.

"How?" I asked him. Chris shrugged

“I guess he reported me, I still don't really know how they won’t tell me due to witness protection or some bullshit like that”

“But why would he report you and not say anything about me?” I questioned

“I don't know Jhene…” he said hesitantly, his tone leading me to believe there was something else to this story, something he was hiding. I frowned at him as he suspiciously broke eye contact with me.

“Your not telling me something” I said to him. I'd known Chris for long enough and bared witness to his lies way too many times to not be able to tell when he was keeping something away from me and right now he wasn’t saying everything.

“I don't want to stress you out more than I have already” he said

“I’m laying in a hospital bed Chris. Nothing will stress me out more than I am already, just say it.” I mumbled.

Chris bowed his head as he rubbed his hands over his face. I happened to peep his knuckles and they were both cut up and swollen. I made a mental note to ask him about it after.

“Do you remember the day when I got arrested at my crib?” he asked, I nodded yes for him to continue “Well Jennifer’s father was the detective interviewing that day, he showed me evidence of witness statements and the video from the surveillance camera caught me getting into the car right outside the nigga’s crib…”

“Okay...But that doesn't prove anything you could’ve parked your car there coincidently for all they know” I frowned

“That's not all Jhene” he sighed. “On the tape the car that I’m getting in is the one that I picked up from Cass that night. No licence plate on it but he a detective so he put two and two together and realised it's a stolen car. Something about there's been a pattern of cars that have been stolen in and around LA recently and the car I was in happened to “fit one of the descriptions” I tried to act like I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about but he ain't stupid. So he offered me a deal, either I tell him the name of the person I picked the car up from and he'd wipe my whole shit clean, no records or nothing or I proceed with the case and take it to the judge…” he trailed off.

“You proceeded with the case?” I whispered in hopes that maybe I was wrong, but the look on his face already told me my answer. He didn't need to. “Why would you do that Chris?” I stressed

“Nae I had to”

“No you didn't! Why won't you just tell them?” My voice cracked. Chris sighed deeply,

“You know I can't do that Jhene” he said.

“But why?” I cried “Why are you protecting Cass? He don't give a fuck about you he never has!”

“Its not him I’m protecting, it's you, I gotta protect my family. If Cass found out I snitched on him, y'all the first people he's gonna go after. I been with him since I was 14, I've seen the type of evil shit he's capable of. I'd rather wake up everyday for 4 years behind bars than have the risk of something bad happening to y'all”

“But he’ll be in prison Chris probably for the rest of his life after they find out about all the shit he’s involved in, he'll be locked up!” I argued, Chris sighed exhaustedly for the umpteenth time.

“That doesn't matter Jhene, that’ll probably make it worst. He's got people, he damn near controls the whole wood, I'll have niggas coming after me that I don't even know. I can't live my life that way. I can't spend every waking second watching my back, worrying if you or my moms is even alive”

"Okay so we can move. I’ve still got my place back home, you can come and live in New York with me or we can go somewhere else; you don't have to stay in LA Chris!”

“Jhene.”

“What?!” I stressed

“I can't just go to New York and either way I leave with you, that nigga knows where my mama stays at, I'm not risking that shit Nae I'm sorry!”

"Well what about Asia? What am I supposed to tell her when she gets older?” I asked him, he was lost for words. I scoffed shaking my head as the tears continued to roll down my face. I wasn't sure if I was more mad at the fact that he had voluntarily handed himself to the feds, or because he literally had no explanation for what I was supposed to tell our daughter, he was going away for the prime years of her childhood and all he had to offer me was a loss of words? “You promised me we wasn't gonna lose you again” I said after a moment of silence.

“Y’all aren’t loosing me Jhene, I'm still gonna be here” he argued, I looked at him incredulously

"No your not! How are you gonna still be here when your going away for 4 years! You haven't even been in Asia’s life for a full year yet and your leaving her already”

“I know” he mumbled regretfully

“She's gonna be 6 years old when you get out…” I whispered. Chris looked at me with nothing but sadness in his eyes, because of the poor decisions he decided to make in life, the one and only person who was most important to the both of us was gonna suffer the most and there was nothing I could do about it. "It's not fair. I didn't want this for her. I didn't want my baby growing up fatherless” I cried

“Fatherless? Your acting as if I'm dying or something”

“Chris she's 2 years old right now. By the time she even understands what's going on and where you are so much time would have passed she's not gonna remember you”

“Okay I get it!” He snapped “This isn't an easy decision for me Jhene, but I gotta do this. If me having to sacrifice four years in order to be free for the rest of my life, well then I'll do it. I can't keep living my life like this”

“I asked you time and time again to leave that Cass shit alone Chris, I begged you to leave it and now look!”

“You knew what it was when you got involved with me Jhene” Chris said. I frowned.

“No I did not! Are you forgetting you didn’t tell me about your “job” until I was in too deep with you? You never gave me a choice!”

“Look I’m not here to argue with you about it Jhene, the situations done either way I’m going back to prison” he said defeatedly.

This was so messed up! Why did this have to happen, right now of all times? As much as I was mad at him and I no longer wanted to be with him at all, I was still gonna need him. I couldn't do this all on my own. What was I supposed to tell Asia as she got older? She was going to ask where he was rather I hid it from her or not. How was I supposed to explain to my daughter her father was away in prison without lying to her.

“So when are you going?” I cried.

“I gotta hand myself in tomorrow morning, I got until 10 am, that’s why I came here earlier. I wanted to see you before I left” he explained.

“What am I supposed to do without you Chris?” I asked lowly.

“Live your life” he said calmly which completely threw me off. I furrowed my brows as I looked at him, he continued. “I love you way too much to ever want you to put your whole life on hold because of me Jhene. I know you love me, but you can’t hold up your life waiting on me because of my mistakes, I can’t allow it. So I want you to live your life, accomplish all the things you want to accomplish, just focus on you and Asia, don’t worry about me baby"

In a matter of minutes, my whole world had been turned upside down.

***

Visiting time at the hospital lasted from 11am-9pm and Chris had been here with me practically all day, we were interrupted by the nurse around 8:30 informing us visiting hours finished in half an hour. The moment the nurse left an awkward tension engulfed the room between us knowing that once he left today, that was it. We wouldn't be able to see each other anymore. Chris sat on the edge of the bed preparing himself to go, I didn't want him to leave me. I didn't want to be stuck in this hospital room all alone anymore. I really just wanted to go home but right now he was the only sense of home I had. “Should I ask if I can stay over night?” He suddenly said to me, almost as if he’d read my mind.

“Yeah!” I replied quicker than expected. Chris looked at me with a small grin and suddenly I felt a little embarrassed at the eagerness in my tone and looked away shyly.

"I'll be back" he said and then shuffled out of the room. It had been about 10 minutes before Chris finally came sauntering back into the room, he was smiling goofily as he dangled two packets of chips and two canned Arizona's in the air. "Nurse said it's all good, so I went and got us some snacks to celebrate!” I laughed at his silliness “Whatcha want, Sour cream or BBQ?” he asked

“I want both” I smirked

“Both?” He frowned

“Hey I'm injured right now, I deserve it” I playfully snatched both packets from him.

“And I'm going back to hell tomorrow I deserve too!” He laughed jokingly and plopped back down on the bed beside me. Even through his smile I could see that he was broken inside knowing he had to go back to prison. We’d spoken about this plenty of times before, he’d told me that those days inside were some of the the worst days he’d been through. Chris wasn’t a bad person at all, he had the biggest heart and really he was just a goofy ass little kid, he just made really stupid, irresponsible decisions at times but he didn’t deserve to be locked up

“Are you scared?” I asked him as he kicked back his feet, the bed was still kinda small for the both of us so his left leg was dangling sloppily off the side.

“Of what?” He asked opening the packet of chips, he grabbed a handful and then threw them into his mouth and chomped down on them noisily.

“Going back to prison…” I said

“Oh, nah. I don’t wanna go but, it’s just something I’ve gotta do, d’you feel me?” he shrugged.

“Smile...” I suddenly said randomly.

“Huh?” He looked at me with a look of confusion on his face.

“I said smile, I wanna see your smile” Chris looked at me and smiled cutely, his dimples digging deep into his cheeks. I smiled back harder, feeling as the tears began to build up in my eyes. I bit down on my bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

“Don’t cry Nae” he said, his smile turned into a frown as he grabbed hold of my hand. “Please?”

I sniffled and quickly wiped my tears away with my freehand. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“I know baby” he said interrupting me “I know but just look at it this way, all this is gonna do is make us stronger in the future. You gotta be strong for me, cause imma be strong for you. Promise me, your gonna be strong for me?”

“Imma try”

“Nah you’ve got this, your strong, this is just a little trial we gotta go through, I promise”

I smiled, how he had the ability to remain positive at a time like this was astounding. “I hate you Chris” I suddenly said as I shook my head at the thought of myself , Chris raised his brow curiously as he waited for me to elaborate,

“Earlier I couldn’t stand your ass and I swore to God that was it, I was done with you for good and now I’m over here crying because your leaving me”

“Well that sounds like love to me baby” Chris smirked

“No it sounds like some punk shit” I laughed

“It’s all good, I’m a punk when it comes down to you as well” He chuckled, I smiled. Faintly.

“Kiss me” I said, I pulled his chin closer to me and pressed my lips against his. We kissed slowly and Chris reciprocated the kiss with just as much passion as I had. Pulling back, I softly bit on his bottom lip. He ran his lips over mine one last time before pecking my lips again before we both pulled away.

"Damn Imma miss that shit" he chuckled licking his lips, I smiled as I caressed his cheek. “Promise me you ain't gonna let no other nigga get that” he laughed, I rolled my eyes.

“Oh shut up Chris! Four years is a long time, I'll probably meet somebody new” I joked. Chris smiled as he shook his head.

“I mean I will be tripping if you do and when I get out, homie will have a lot of problems. but I guess I gotta accept it”

“Yep, because you lost a dime piece buddy, I'm just saying” I playfully joked as I wiped my eyes. Chris smiled sadly.

"Your right though, you’re the type of girl that's one in a million, the type people get in high school and they mess up and then they spend their whole life thinking about you forever and what it coulda been. And with me I know that I had that and I'm forever gone regret the fact that I fucked around and lost you”

“Maybe this is what we needed. Maybe we need to be apart for a longtime to grow up…properly heal from each other”

“Yeah Perhaps, as long as you know your always gonna be my heart Jhene, you’re the first girl I ever truly fell in love with. Whatever happens, if you decide to wait for me or even if you decide to move on, this is you” he said pointing to his chest. “You got this for life” he said, I smiled faintly.

Hearing him tell me how much he loved me was bittersweet. I'd always known that Chris loved me, despite what we went through I never had to question that, but I also realised that he was never gonna be ready to give me the kind of commitment I wanted, not right now anyway. He had a lot in himself to work on and me waiting around for him to finally be ready was doing nothing but hurting more than helping, we were on different pages of our lives, he was still trying to figure out who he was and me, well the moment I gave birth my priorities changed. I had to grow up a lot faster than he did. I loved Chris, with every inch of my being; there was no denying that, but I also loved him enough to know it was finally time to let go. I’d grown and I’d learned all that I could learn from being in a relationship with him and now it was time to move forward. Maybe in the future things would work out in our favour, but for now I was content with the memories that we shared together. Nothing was supposed to last forever, and as difficult as it was going to be to move forward without him, we both had to accept that this was just the end of our chapter, for now.

“I'm tired now” I mumbled in-between a yawn

“Go to sleep then baby girl”

“What you gonna do?” I asked him

“Imma fall asleep right here next to you” he said taking off his shoes, I watched as he pulled off his hoody “Pass me that” I said pointing to it before he could place it over the back of the chair, Chris handed me the hoody and then I sat up and slipped it on over the hospital gown I had on. “You just had to wear my shit huh” he smirked.

“Mmhm, your not getting this back either” I pulled the hood up.

“I already figured, you can keep it anyway I’m not gonna need it where I’m going” he shrugged

“Tomorrow morning, before you leave. Please don't wake me up”

“Why not?” Chris frowned, I shrugged.

“I just don't wanna have to say goodbye to you like that…”

Chris nodded his head in understanding “Well how about this. We say our goodbye now so at least before you fall asleep, you’ll know I'm right here with you”

I smiled

“I like that idea.”

***

The bed was small for the both of us, but somehow we managed to make it work. As He laid down beside me, he reached over and grabbed my left hand so that his arms were around me and linked our fingers together.

No more words was exchanged between us as we both slipped into our own little slumbers.

And that night was the first time since I’d woken up to this nightmare, I was able to fall asleep peacefully, without the aid of any medication.

[lil-nct-scenarios-11]

NCT- A Strange Talk || Gang au- part 9

Group: NCT- all members 

Theme: Gang au 

Type: series- fluff+ angst          

*Warning- this series will cover some dark themes such as abuse, drugs, and crude language so please read at your own discretion, if these themes make you uncomfortable at all, please do not read this

Plot: Your mom comes into your house unexpectedly and you shared an emotion conversation. Jeno comforts you after she leaves and you tell him your side of the story. We go back to Taeyong and Yuta’s to hear a few late-night talks about what happened that long, eventful day. 

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 

“Mom? Wha.. what are doing here?” you ask, completely bewildered. 

“You never called back so I got even more worried so I had to come see you darlin’.”

“No, I mean how did you get in?” 

“Oh don’t worry about that baby. I made your favorite pasta for you, let’s go eat,“ she says happily as she enters the house. 

“Stop! What are you doing? You aren’t supposed to know where I live! This.. this doesn't feel right,” you say, holding your head. 

“Of course this doesn’t feel right, I need to take you home honey. You can’t possibly live here, this isn’t your home, this place is just disgusting,“ she says with a prominent look of disgust on her face. 

“No it’s not, this place feels more like home then it ever did with you. And you can’t take me with you! Literally and legally ‘cuz you don’t have any custody over me.” 

“Then tell me who does? ‘Cuz your bastard of a father isn’t here to look after you, he got busy sending himself to jail,” she snaps. 

“I don’t know mom! I don't know! With you I never know. There’s a good reason you don’t have any custody over me, I hope you haven’t forgotten it. And in the meantime, you can just do everyone a favor and leave. ‘Go home’ like you said. I don’t have the strength to put up with you now or ever, you always push me over my limit. Please just go, I’m really tired,” you say weakly.

“I drove all this way for you and this is how you treat me? No, that won’t do!” 

“Look, I don’t know if you ever got it or not but you really aren’t supposed to see me.” 

“Or what? What are you gunna do?” she asks boldly, standing with her hands on her hips, waiting for your answer. 

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

Your mom took a deep breath after a slight pause, “You know I really care about you right? Is it so wrong to see my little boy/girl? I missed you so much baby, its been so long since I’ve seen you. You changed so much, look at how tall you’ve gotten,” she comments, coming towards you with her arms open. 

A tear falls down your face as you shake your head as you say, “I don’t trust you. I can’t believe you. All you ever did was hurt me all my life because you’re a manipulative lair.” 

“But I changed-“ she admits, her hand out to touch your face. 

“Don’t. Don’t take another step towards me. I won’t hesitate to call the cops. People like you can never change, you’ve just managed to use yourself that’s all.”

“Why do you think that? Do you know how much it hurts to hear you say that?” her voice breaks as she stops in her tracks and looks at you with her head to the side, tears welling up. 

“Too bad, that’s not my concern. Now please leave before I make the call,” you sniffle, turning you face away from her. 

“You’re just like your dad, every bit. He always talked to me like that too, calling me all those nasty names. I see how it is, it’s not your fault. Your damn father fed all these lies in your head didn’t he? He managed to turn my own child against me. Come with me and I’ll show you I’m nothing like what he says,” she says in an enthusiastic, desperate tone, extending her hand for you to grab. 

“No, I’ve seen what I needed, and I realize how much better dad and I are without you. Don’t you get it, if you do so much as touch my hand, you could end up in jail for violating your restraining order. So I beg you, mom please,” you drop to your knees, putting your hands together. “Please leave and don’t ever come back.“ 

“If that’s what’s best for you baby then I will,” she nods sadly, wiping a tear. 

“Yes mama, that’ll best the best for both of us I promise. So please promise me that you’ll leave and never think of me again,” you beg as your tears threaten to fall but you firmly forbid them.

“Ok, I will,” she whispers. She walks over and leaves her homemade pasta and the keys on the coffee table. Then she slowly walks over to you and carefully helps you to your feet and then firmly hugs you, clearly never wanting to let go. You feel her silent tears hit your back and your shaky hands hold her. She lingers for a little bit and only when she retracts herself is when you realized how much you genuinely missed her. She looks at your red face and glossy, puffy eyes and carefully wipes away the single tear that escaped. She plants a kiss on your forehead like how she used to, then she turn and walks towards the open front door. 

“Bye my baby, I love you,” she says with a wave and a feeble smile that completely resembled yours. 

“Bye mama,” you barely whisper. 

Then she closes the door and is gone. You hear her car door close and her engine rev as she drives away from you, forever. 

You shakily stand for a bit but then fall onto your knees, sobbing your heart out. Jeno rushes to your side instantly and holds you tightly. His wet hair hits the side of your face lightly and the water droplets from his hair mix in with your tears. 

“Shhh, it’s ok, it’s ok. I’m here,” Jeno soothes as he lightly rocks you back and forth on the cold wooden floor.  

_______

“Alright good night everyone,” Ten yawns as he runs his fingers through his hair, waving lazily as he heads towards his room. 

“Yeah, imma go to sleep too guys, night,” Kun says quickly as he follows Ten to their room. 

“Good night,” everyone mumbles. 

Ten plops face-down on his bed and Kun closes their door as he leans against it to ask, “Hey, you ok?” 

“Yea why,” Ten replies as he turns over to face Kun. 

“Well other than the fact that you never go to bed around 11 on a Saturday night, nothing. But I just thought that you left rather abruptly earlier when Yuta hyung brought up Johnny’s name and I don’t think that’s a coincidence, care to prove me wrong?” 

“Wish I could say yeah but I would just be lying. So I won’t ‘cuz I can’t lie to you but I’m still hoping you don’t see ever him.”

“Why not, shouldn’t it be the other way around?” 

“No, not when it’s him. He’s a very difficult guy and no one would approve of him, not even you, not with the reputation that he has. And I know I shouldn’t be with him but I can’t leave. We’ve been through so much together for me to just leave like that. I’m not proud of the shit he’s done but somehow I keep convincing myself that one day he will change. And I can’t wait for that day to come ‘cuz I can’t wait to proudly call him mine when he’s finally become a better man. But I know I have to wait a long time for that to finally happen,” Ten sighs. “Anyways, the air feels different doesn’t it? It feels so heavy and tense, feels like something big is ‘bout to happen.” 

“Yea, it really does. Maybe it ‘cuz school is starting Wednesday? Or it could be something else as well, something with your guy?” Kun suggests. 

“Yea that could be it but it feels like something deeper. Nah what am I saying? It’s late and I’m just saying weird shit now. I should get some sleep, night Kun,” Ten mumbles as he settles under his covers. 

“Night loser,” Kun responds as he turns off the light and slumps into his bed on the opposite side of Ten. 

___

Taeyong is brushing his teeth, getting ready to go to bed when he feels Yuta wrap his arms around his waist and nestle his neck in his own. Taeyong spits out the remainder of the toothpaste foam and rinses his mouth before turning to face Yuta. 

“It's been a long day today huh?” Taeyong asks, holding Yuta’s cheek affectionately. 

Yuta nods then answers, “Yea. Oh I saw Renjun today at Y/N’s house and I had a chance to talk to him. But when I came home then I realized how much I miss him and the other guys. Mostly Jaemin, I know he’s facing the brunt of his own brother’s death. And with how Johnny’s been acting recently, sometimes I wish I never left so I could’ve helped or even prevented all this. I made a promise to Dongwoo that I’d look after Jaemin but the only looking I’ve been doing is seeing him deteriorate. And those marks- oh god. What have I done? Dongwoo was my everything and the only thing he ever asked of me and Johnny was to protect his little brother. And here I am making all these promises to everyone but I can’t even keep the one that matters most to me. I guess the reason I keep doing this is if I make enough promises then maybe-” 

“Babe, its ok. Stop beating yourself over this. I know it sounds horrible but you’re only human. And the fact that you’re reflecting over your actions show your character and that you want to make a difference. It’s not too late, you can and you will do something about this. We just gotta figure out how. But for right now baby we gotta get rest,” Taeyong says softly. 

“Yea, you’re right. I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about ‘him’ since that day. I haven’t seen him since I left and I know I shouldn’t be talking about my ex but you’re all I have now. You saved me and helped me to transform into the best version of myself. If I never met you, who knows I could’ve been like Johnny and-” 

“Shh don’t you dare say it. No you’re not that person anymore, I know for a fact you’d never lay your hand on anyone so don’t even think it. And it’s ok to take Doyoung’s name. I’m not gunna get mad, I mean in a way I did just snatch you from him so I understand his hatred for me. But baby it ok to talk about him though, and I know you miss him too. I can tell, maybe you should talk to him one day if you get the chance. You two haven’t talked since that day and this is the first time since you came here that you talked about him. I was wondering all these years when you’d take his name in front of me and not treat him like some of taboo. I am your friend before your boyfriend after all, so most of my advice are from a friend point of view. Although, I should think about him from my ‘boyfriend stance’ ‘cuz I don't want to encourage the wrong the thing. Hmm maybe that meeting thing isn’t such a good idea,” Taeyong says jokingly. 

Yuta laughs whole-heartedly, “Haha don’t worry babe I don’t think you’d ever be able to let me go. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to let you go. ‘Cuz all those added bonuses I can get from you as my boyfriend and not as a friend is great. And speaking of which-” Yuta wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Eww, why do I love a pervert like you? You need to go to bed like now ‘cuz babe, your mind is all over the place,” Taeyong says as he locks his arms around Yuta neck. 

“Nope, it's only on one thing right now and that’s-” Yuta starts as he leans to kiss Taeyong but he places his finger to Yuta’s incoming lips.

“Sleep! Ah what a beautiful thing, too bad I don’t get any with you,” Taeyong mutters to himself as he pecks Yuta’s lips briskly then turns to climb into bed. 

Part 10

*gurl I was struggling to find a gif of yutae even tho Ik damn well tht they’re always together but like this gif isn’t bad so ill go w it 

*anywhoo I realized tht ive been writing abt the same damn Saturday for like at least 4+ pts lol. But for the next part I'm planning to make it a lil diff either by writing in flashbacks or just fast forwarding the plot a bit, so look forward to tht