Rooftop Solace
Pairing: Seir x GN!Reader
Content: Mental Breakdown, Comfort, Fluff
Warnings: Mild Angst, Implication of death
Word Count: 3000~
Make the content you want to see in the world... AKA project your problems, so fictional men can make you feel better~
I played the Salvus Aries demo and I am invested. Absolutely great art, music and writing! Characters (Especially Seir <3) are lovable and I actually enjoy interacting with them all! Might be more content of them coming in the future, we shall see!
ALSO sorry if he’s OOC. I’m trying my best! I kind of hate this but this is the first bigger thing I’ve written in about 2 years so... I’m chucking it into the void.
With every time Y/n rolled over, adjusting their blanket and shuffling their weight around to try and find even a semblance of comfort, they tipped further and further into irrational anger and deprecation.
Thoughts spun in their head, all threads that tangled and wove together. One would start before becoming intertwined with another; an unpredictable path that held no real destination. Although not a problem in and of itself… just a single thread, one derelict strand to tangle with the others. Then there would be no peace.
Unfortunately, Y/n had started with more than one bad thread when they'd laid down to sleep.
In the dark there was nothing to distract from the ravenous thoughts that sought to consume them. Tears, derived from frustration, had begun to soak into the pillows. Cool stains that they felt upon their cheek when they sought a new position and tossed and turned. Their breaths were shaky. In and out but with a certain shudder to them.
It was then that a thought pierced through the rest. A fleeting need, so brief that it didn't have the opportunity to tangle.
Hastily they clambered toward the bedside, kicking off the blankets that tangled around their legs- something that had become a confinement rather than a comfort. Skittering across the floor, shifting from foot to foot in attempt to minimize any contact with the cold and unforgiving floor that nipped at their feet, unrelenting in its attacks. Quietly they hurried, afraid that even the slightest noise would result in a crowd of… particularly vexed men. That was not something they wanted. Anything but them…
In hindsight, Y/n realized they must have looked a fool; freezing like a deer in headlights in the middle of a lit hallway in the wee hours of the morning. In that moment, of course, it wasn't even a thought that crossed their mind.
Instead they were adamant on getting to the elevator. They needed out- they needed space, they needed fresh air.
The ping as the elevator doors opened gave Y/n a start as their nerves were at an all time high. They started out of the elevator, eyes shifting quickly around the area. For but a moment their anxieties were dwarfed. Before them was a beautiful serene garden. There were various plants, all healthy and lusciously green- their colour a stark contrast to the gleam of the city lights that lit up the city around this oasis. Idly turning, feet finding their way on their own, Y/n drank in the sights. It felt like something from a fairy tale… but so was the idea of Reapers, Angles, Purgatory…
The noise of the elevator doors quickly snuffed out this atmosphere. Their fleeting peace was stripped from them as the twisted threads began to tangle again. Now the rooftop felt empty; and forbidden. It felt as though they were akin to sneaking out of their parents house to party… Even though the roof wasn't off limits and they lived here now.
They'd wanted some fresh air and to escape the confines of their room and by all accounts they had accomplished that… so why did they feel no better?
Y/n took a breath. Deep inhale, slow exhale. Every breath out they banished another thought until there was nothing left. Now more at peace, they began looking for something to keep them occupied. The rooftop really was something to behold. There were plush chairs, tables with candles whose flames danced on the wick, so many types of plants they Y/n wasn't sure if they'd ever even seen them all before in their life- or previous life, rather. There was a pool too. The undisturbed water was like a mirror from certain angles. It reflected the moon and the stars; an attempt to contain something that never could truly be captured. From other angles, however, you would see straight to the bottom. The lights in the floor of the pool kept away the dancing shadows that came and went as the wind caused ripples.
They briefly considered the thought of going for a midnight swim, however logic won out in the end. They didn't have anything to dry off with and if going to the rooftop didn't get them in trouble, then tracking water through the halls probably would. Instead they took to simply staring at the scenery.
In fact, the tranquility had worked so well that they'd been lulled into their own world. One of ignorance, but peaceful silence. This ignorance, however, meant they did not hear the chime of the elevator as it arrived at the top floor and opened its doors to deliver yet another guest to the rooftop terrace.
Seir peered out past the doors, surveying the garden with his calm, collected gaze. Nothing looked amiss, everything was the same as how'd they'd last left it… However he knew that could not be the case. Someone had used the elevator earlier. That meant it likely wasn't a threat, only the residents of the building had access inside. Perhaps it was Orias?
He strode out onto the patio, footsteps only sounding above a whisper.
"Whose- Seir?"
He turned toward the voice, finding none other than Y/n. They were huddled up on one of the sofas that faced the pool, blocked from view from the elevator due to the bustle of plants.
In a few smooth strides he had come to stand before them, who looked up at him with wide eyes. Seir knew something was wrong immediately. There were emotions warring between each other. Waves rolling to and froe in her eyes. He hoped he could help.
Y/n was quite shocked to find the angel standing before them. His floor was a number away from their own, so how he'd had any indication they were up here, they didn't know. He didn't seem the type to wander around in the middle of the night either… Waving the thought away, they tried their best to offer a smile although they could tell it came out wobbly.
"What brings you up here, Seir? Would you… Would you like to sit with me?"
They'd given out the invitation before they'd really thought about it. Of course they weren't about to revoke it- that would probably lead to at least one of them crying.
The angel smiled, as he always did, and thanked them. In one graceful movement he had plopped down beside them, their shoulders pressed together.
A silence settled between them. Not quite comfortable, but not awkward either. Y/n had gone back to staring, the vacancy showing in the way their face settled. Waiting a moment more to see if they would come to him themself, Seir lightly turned his head. They just needed a little coaxing.
Lifting his arm he graciously offered his hand to them. Only sparing a brief glance at it, Y/n took it. Their hand was a little cool, but Seir knew they had been up here for enough time for the chill to have set in. He brought their clasped hands to his lap to rest and he found himself rubbing the pad of his thumb across their skin. This slight action, much to Seir's delight, caused Y/n to relax. Their shoulders slumped and they let go of a deep breath.
"Something ails you, I can see it in your eyes."
He spoke softly, voice just above a whisper.
Y/n felt as though their heart was going to collapse. Just a couple of words, spoken with such kindness that they had to remind themselves they were talking to a literal angel. Although… even if he cared for everyone… it was nice to hear those words regardless. They didn’t remember everything from their time as a human but they knew enough. Enough to know they suffered a long time in silence.
"I'm… I'm alright. Thank you for the concern, Seir." They offered a weak smile in return, choosing to focus on the feeling of his thumb rubbing circles into their hand.
"Is there anything I can help you with? My shoulder is always yours." Once again a voice filled with warmth. "I'm taking that literally." With a light laugh, Y/n let their head flop to the side and settle on Seir's shoulder. He merely chuckled and laid his head atop theirs.
"I just… I know I shouldn’t worry about it, it's already happened and all but…" with their words went their confidence. Admitting it out loud seemed impossibly daunting. For a second they considered just never admitting it. Just stomaching it and moving on.
Their gaze found a nearby bush and they watched the shadows appear and disappear as the leaves moved with the wind. Seir waited patiently, a soft smile adoring his lips. Taking a breath, Y/n tried again.
"Did I do enough? When I was alive, I mean."
Seir sat with that notion for a moment. He didn't quite understand, so he simply asked.
"Did you do enough for what? I'm afraid I don't understand."
Y/n stirred beside him, vocalizing with a hum as they tried to find the words to explain.
"I guess… did I do enough to not be a waste?" As if sensing Seir's attention, they quickly waved their free hand to dismiss their statement, "It sounds so dramatic when I say it like that." This time an empty laugh filled the silence.
"But… Was I good enough? Did I do what I needed too? I never found my life's calling- what if I just never looked hard enough?" Y/n found that their vision started to blur. The many plants around them started to combine and shift, becoming nothing more than blobs of colour that wavered as they tried to blink away the tears. It was when they took a breath and it shuddered, just like it had when they were in their room earlier that the frustration came flooding back. They didn't want Seir to see this. Better yet; they didn’t want to feel this in the first place. Weak, confused, angry and yet guilty. They wanted to tell Seir to look away. That it wasn’t serious, that it was just something silly they were thinking about- but when they opened their mouth to speak, only a warbled sob made it out.
Tightening his grip- unbeknownst to Seir, of course- gentle as could be, he brought his free hand to cup their face. Much like he had done with their hand, he soothed them by rubbing the pad of his thumb over their cheek, wiping away the rouge tears that had spilt. Their eyes were downcast but Seir didn’t mind. They would find the courage they needed soon enough. He knew they would.
"You could never be a waste."
His voice was filled with such kindness that Y/n found themselves staring up into the angels eyes.
Of course, he was a literal angel so really they shouldn’t have been surprised at all. Seir smiled again, choosing to move to gently patting their head in rhythmic movements.
"No matter what you did, or even what you do now, it's always the right thing to do." Y/n sniffled, once again averting their gaze to their lap. They wished they could believe his words, they really did, but the swirling vortex in their mind drowned them out in contempt for more… malicious views.
"I could have done more, surely? I could have made a bigger impact, I could have helped more… I could have tried to make more people happy."
"You did everything you needed to. After all your value as a person is not defined by the service you provide others."
Y/n shook their head. "It is, isnt it? If I'm not doing anything, if I'm not putting anything good out into the world then what is the point? What was the point of me?"
Seir stood. The movement caught Y/n off guard. They owlishly blinked up at him as Seir came to stand before them. He leant down, braid dangling between them as he gently clasped their other hand in his. He whispered their name.
Looking up, Y/n thought heaven had come to them.
Haloed by the moon it came to fruition just how ethereal Seir truly was. His hair seemed to glow, silken and beautiful. His face? Even more so. Entranced into silence, Y/n sat idle as Seir swept to his knee.
"Isn't that the beauty of humanity? You live… just to live. For no purpose other than to be yourself." He squeezed their hands, ever so slightly. His golden eyes shone with sincerity.
"By being alive, by being you… you're creating a whole new perspective of the world that didn’t exist before… isn't that enough?"
The lilt of his voice only showcased how he meant every word. It was laced with so much tenderness, earnestness, that Y/n felt as though their whole world could crumble right at that moment and they wouldn’t have spared a thought. Seir always spoke from his heart, and that left Y/ns own beating with such intensity it felt as though it would beat right out of their chest. Their mind, in contrast, was silent. Banished were the disheveled threads that had plagued them- free from their incessant tangling, they had peace. For once they let themself believe.
Seir did not miss the light that flooded Y/n's eyes. A warmth that had been missing, or rather, dampened by the burdens they had carried in their heart. He had helped many people in his lifetime but this? This felt different. This brought something new to fruition in his chest. A fondness he could not describe.
"Seir… I- I don't have the words. You are too kind to me, thank you." Y/n couldn’t help the smile that sprung to their lips, not that they particularly minded. The angel in question smiled back and once again arose to his feet. Their hands were still clasped in his and after looking down at them for a moment Seir seemed to think of something.
"How about we do not dwell on this much longer, my dear? Perchance would you like to do something else to take your mind off of things?" Y/n let their head rock to the side, humming in thought. "Did you have anything in- in-" They yawned, "mind. It seems my restlessness has finally caught up with me." Seir's shoulders slumped and his lip stuck out in a pout. A laugh bubbled up in Y/n's throat at his antics. "How about we spend the day together? After we get some rest, of course." He perked up at this, quickly reverting to his smiling self. "You'll allow one more thing before we part, surely?"
Quirking a brow Y/n regarded him quizzically. They knew it would be nothing bad but they couldn’t quite pin what it could be.
"There's no harm in it, so why not?"
Seir beamed and began to pull on their hands. Y/n let themselves be pulled to their feet in a swift motion. They anticipated that he would stop once they were up, however they found themselves pulled further. With a simple tug they were left stumbling forward directly into the angels chest.
He had smoothly let go of their hands and cautiously slipped an arm around their back to ensure they did not fall. Once they had adjusted on their feet he hastily moved his arm away- just a little.
"Sorry, may I pick you up?"
An odd request. Y/n's mind was reeling to try and figure out what he could possibly be planning. They were just a little too flustered and caught up in the very intricate details of his face for their head to be much use. They simply nodded, only able to utter out a quiet 'of course'.
Seir's arms quickly found home around Y/n's waist. His grip had strength behind it yet was so delicate it didn't seem possible.
"What exactly are you planning to do?"
He smiled once again, so joyous.
"You might want to hold on. Of course rest assured I won’t drop you-"
Y/n didn't quite have time to properly react, as in the next moment their feet left the ground. On instinct they wrapped their arms around Seir and clung to him as a lifeline. From their position they had to crane their neck to peek down at the floor that was now a good few feet away from them. Seeing them in distress, Seir gently lay his forehead on theirs, successfully redirecting their attention.
"You are entirely safe, I promise. I promised I would show you my wings, but we will save that for another time."
Y/n could only stare back at him. They managed to soothe their racing heart and focused on the fact that despite them floating, it felt as though gravity did not quite have a hold on them. Either there was some magic at play, or it was a testament to his strength…
"Now how about a spin?"
Their gaze snapped to his face and their eyes became owlish. A few syllables managed to slip out but Seir did not wait.
Cautiously at first, although it did not feel like that all to Y/n, the two began to spin. Had this been recorded in a story, like how it had felt in the moment, it was sure to be reminiscent of a music box. Two figures, twirling with such gracefulness and ease. Their eyes locked on one another, the world around them becoming nothing more than a backdrop to their moment.
Of course until Seir began to spin faster. He clutched Y/n closer to his chest and began to laugh- a boisterous laugh that was contagious. Y/n clung to him, yelling his name between fits of laughter.
Finally they came to a stop and Seir brought them gently back onto the ground. Once their feet had made contact with the floor Y/n stumbled backward out of Seir's embrace, instead holding his forearms to try and steady themself.
"You should have warned me!" Despite the complaint, their voice held no ill will. Seir dipped into a short bow, smile still adorning his features.
"Of course, I will be sure to next time, my dear." "Next time? I guess you still do have to show me your real wings." Y/n let out a deep breath then straightened themself up. "Thank you, Seir. Tonight was wonderful." He beamed at the compliment. "It was my pleasure. Whenever you have need of me, no matter the hour, I will be right by your side."
The two retreated to the elevator and tried to stifle their laughter as they descended through the building. They spoke in hushed whispers as Seir escorted Y/n back to their room. With a promise of the rest of the day spent together they retired to their rooms, giddy and content.
As Y/n crawled back into bed they couldn’t even remember what had plagued them just hours ago. The blanket was comforting, the pillow just right under their head and with that, they fell into slumber.
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