#sekrit agents aus

[vagrantblvrd]

Got any jeremwood ideas rattling around your brain? I've been craving battle buddies (lately, but also always), smooches ideally

You know, friend? I’ve had Battle Buddies in the back of my brain a lot recently and like nothing for them to do? But then in the shower this morning I had an Idea.

These two idiots working for their respective agencies or units and have the Worst Bosses whether through sheer incompetence or design. (Laziness or greed and not their problem if some asshole agents/operatives bit it on their watch. Hell, might be for the best if they do, if the WB is corrupt or working for the Enemy whoever that is.)

Ryan, well he’s in a Bad Place because some missions that Went Wrong and his name’s not worth much in their world anymore, right? Everyone thinks he’s either the worst kind of jinx with how many missions/operations go to shit when he’s around or he’s on the Enemy’s payroll. (Whoever that may be.)

Jeremy?

Young and stupid and got into some shit he shouldn’t have and it was this or jail and for whatever reason this seemed like the better deal. (Tell that to his scars or nightmares or shortened life-span whenever that shitball mission that gets him killed way before his time rolls around, though.)

They’re both stuck where they are and (more or less) resigned to it.

Ryan’s got Plans, though, on how to get out of his situation. Intel and Secrets he’s been gathering for years hoping to expose the people behind whatever gave him a bad reputation. (He spins it like that in his head sometimes, tries to make it about himself and not the others, the good people he’s known, who got killed by these assholes because otherwise he might abandon the long game he’s been playing for years and go in guns blazing. (OR the equivalent.)

Jeremy’s got an idea or two, but they keep reassigning him or the people he trusts to help him and he’s not sure what the safest way to do this is anymore. (Oh, he’s not worried for himself, but Matt and Trevor? Yeah. Big, big worries about those two assholes and how easy it would be for them to have “accidents” if he fucks up, so. Yeah.)

ANYWAY.

Their bosses have been working them hard for a few months (months, years, it all blurs together you know?) and they get some downtime before a Big Mission.

Conveniently (Plot Reasons) they’re in the same city at the time, because of course they are. Last stop coming back from a shitty mission to go to HQ to brief for the next shitty mission and their flight isn’t until the next day or something along those lines. (PLOT REASONS.)

Ryan gets a message telling him to meet a contact who might be able to help him with his own secret mission at a shady club somewhere. Jeremy – fuck.

He just wants a drink, and if he runs into someone to spend the night with that’s a bonus. (All this stress from the last however long and knowing he’s probably going to be dead by the end of the week, and why the fuck not, right?)

SO.

They both end up at the same club (PLOT REASONS) and Ryan’s contact never shows, so he just. Fuck, he’s already there and the diet soda’s flowing and just.

He doesn’t even know, is the thing.

Doesn’t want to go back to the shithole he’s been staying at because it’s bugged to high hell and it’s always entertaining to people watch. (Entertaining and keeps his skills sharp, two birds and all that.)

After a while he notices this one guy, right? Short as hell but there’s just something about him that makes you forget that – might be the fact he’s about to get into a fucking fight with some asshole hassling a couple of women. (Young, college age or thereabouts and looking around for the bouncer who’s been MIA for a while now.)

No one else seems willing to get involved, deescalate things or back the short fucker up, so Ryan tosses back the last of his drink (and fuck, fuck, don’t do that again because oh, God, the carbonation,) and goes over to help.

He doesn’t catch what the drunk asshole says – music’s too loud and there are people all over the fucking place – but he hears the short guy laugh. This bark, really, sounds like he’s heard the best damn joke ever – and hauls back and decks the drunk asshole without dropping that bright, friendly smile of his.

Fucking goes for it, you know? Perfect form and in the back of Ryan’s head he knows it’s weird to be hung up on that, but he’s too busy watching the short bastard turn to handle the drunk asshole’s friend to be bothered by that. (Also, making his way through the crowd to help, all “Pardon me,” and, “Passing through, don’t mind me, ladies,” and so on.

By the time he reaches the short bastard (of course it’s Jeremy) Jeremy’s taken care of two more assholes and all that’s left for Ryan to do is trip the last idiot running into the fight so he falls on his face and just kind of stays there, too drunk to realize what just happened and overall just dumb.

Jeremy’s got all this adrenaline running through him and turns to face Ryan, thinking he’s just another asshole (he’s not wrong on that one, but Ryan’s a different kind of asshole, so…) and Ryan gives him this dumb smile and holds his hands up.

“Whoa, hey,” he says, and he’s laughing a little because Jeremy looks like he’s about to go for his damn throat. “I was going to lend you a hand with these idiots, but it looks like you have everything under control.”

Jeremy stares at him because what? After a moment what Ryan says actually registers and he looks around at the drunk assholes picking themselves up off the ground (or helping their buddies who Jeremy knocked the fuck out) scurry off with their tails between their legs.

And then it’s mutual staring because Idiots, and the women Jeremy helped clear their throats and thank him before wandering off.

More staring?

Jeremy looking Ryan over like hey, okay, not bad on the eyes, and he doesn’t seem like an asshole? Meanwhile Ryan’s like oh, no because Jeremy’s also not hard on the eyes and it’s been a while for him and how do social interaction with someone who’s not a contact or target or WB?

Thankfully Jeremy is less of a human disaster (not by much, but it’s enough) and they wander off to a quiet table somewhere. Ryan gets another diet soda and Jeremy gets his drink and they chitchat for a while, Jeremy getting a wee bit tipsy and Ryan getting a wee bit more oh, no because Jeremy’s nice and funny and laughs at Ryan’s dumb jokes even though they’re both well aware how terrible they are?

And then!

Just when they’re about to maybe get around to the your place or mine bit of the conversation, they both notice some Shady Dealings going on.

Too well-trained not to notice, and Ryan’s like well, shit and makes up some lame excuse to go check on things, not knowing he beat Jeremy to it by mere seconds.

Ryan goes all Sekrit Agent/operative with the stealthily following/eavesdropping whatever while Jeremy does the same. (Due to Plot Reasons they don’t spot one another right away because Plot Reasons.)

The stalking continues long enough for them to realize some serious shit is going down – maybe ties into their respective missions, maybe not.

Shenanigans in which they lose the guy’s they’re tailing and round a corner to run into one another and don’t recognize one another at first, just think they’re baddies?

Some hand-to-hand Sekrit Agent fighty stuff until Ryan manages to pin Jeremy (height/weight advantage or something, and Jeremy’s still got that alcohol slowing his reflexes and just, yes) and then Ryan’s like - !!! because it’s the guy from the club?

Jeremy totally gave him a fake name – old habits and Ryan still doesn’t believe anyone would be so cruel to name their kid Rimmy Tim, but whatever.

ANYWAY.

Jeremy is likewise !!! because what are the odds, right? (Ryan also gave him a fake name, and no one names their kid Reggie or whatever, but the hell does he know?)

Some Suspicion because what are the odds, indeed. Also, their respective situations and career choice make trust a hard thing to earn and all that, but before they can get too deeply into the do they or don’t they of trusting one another the actual baddies find them.

Thought they were being followed and better check it out, and anyway, there’s the usual shootout/hide behind cover and snark back and forth before one of them gets a flesh wound and they manage to escape.

Go to some cheap motel – God knows wherever they’ve been staying isn’t safe or secure – bugged to hell and who the fuck knows what else – to patch one another up. Offer some truth – sekrit agent/operatives and (technically) on the same side and the baddies are definitely NOT on their side and too much Good Guys NOT to look into things even if they’re on their own?

And wouldn’t you know it, they both know where to get their hands on the weapons gear they’re going to need to deal with things in the city and it’s just.

The two of them working together – and totally flirting because there are no rules tonight, you know? They’re probably (definitely) going to get themselves killed doing this and no WB breathing down their necks and their next mission probably would have killed them anyway.

Super competent sekrit agent/operative stuff with the track jig down the baddies and finding out what they’re doing (weapons trades or national secrets, something blah, blah, blah,) and being all oh no, that’s hot when one of them shows their competence or does some cool sekrit agent/operative thing?

Also bantering and realizing that while this is the worst idea either of them has ever had, it’s also the most fun?

(Which is sad because wow, they’ve wasted a lot of their lives working for assholes, but whatever.)

Before they go in for the climactic fight or whatever, they’re like, fuck it and kiss because might as well at this point, right?

Probably going to die, and if they don’t it’s not going to hurt. (They were thinking about the whole one-night stand thing before the sekrit agent/operative shit happened, so yeah.)

Action scene like whoa in which there is shooting and yelling and (flesh wounds on Ryan and Jeremy’s part because I’m a sucker for those, sorry friend) and one of them being held at gunpoint, because of course they are.

The thing where their eyes meet and the one being held at gunpoint by the Head Baddy (Jeremy, it’s totally Jeremy) is all “Do it,” or “This isn’t your fault,” or something else the Good Guy always says in this situation? And  Ryan starts to lower his gun because he can’t let the HB kill him?

And just when the HB is all gloaty mcgloaterson, Ryan whips out a throwing knife and gets him in the throat, saving Jeremy’s life and making the HB super dead.

The !!! moment of realizing wow, he’s not dead? And Ryan being like wow, it actually worked? Neat! And then the two of them staring at one another like what now?

Which, of course, is when the sekrit agents/operatives who have been watching HB and their cronies this whole time show up.

Geoff and his idiots and just. The fuck did you two do? (~Ruined months of work on Gavin and Michael’s part, since they’ve been working on getting HB and their people with the weapons trade/national secret thing and goddamn, what the fuck you two?)

Ryan and Jeremy being all ??? while Geoff’s people swarm the area and get shunted off to a little gray room somewhere for debriefing/interrogation thinking they’re really fucked this time? Sit there for hours and hours and hours. (Chitchat and banter and try not to think about what’s going to happen to them now.)

But of course not. (Because Plot Reasons.)

Geoff sweeps in with Jack and they have a nice chat about things.

The shit Ryan and Jeremy did with HB and their people, and their respective situations with their agencies/units and what do they say about working for Geoff instead?

“Uh,” and “What?”, and “Are you high?”

Because look.

No way their respective agencies/units are going to let them go knowing what they do, right? Shady as hell and corrupt and they’d rather see Ryan and Jeremy dead than let them tell anyone what’s been going on. (Have been trying for a while, actually, but they’re stubborn bastards.)

Geoff rolling his eyes and asking them if they’d like to work for him if he helped them take care of their respective agencies/units because he’s had his people looking into things since Ryan and Jeremy stumbled into their operation and the things they found, you know?

Still.

Best deal they’ve been offered – and who knows, they might live through it – so they say yes.

Geoff is delighted because he’s been meaning to deal with their agencies/units but hasn’t had the time with other shit going on. But with them on board it’ll go faster, or something?

Whatever.

Jeremy won’t do it unless Geoff gets Matt and Trevor out of his agency/unit – which he does because they’re useful bastards. (Also, like hell would he have left them there once he found out what was going on.)

Ryan’s own people (the ones still alive) were out of the line of fire before now, so he’s good to go.

Geoff (who doesn’t realize what he’s done, but when he does? ALL the regret) introduces them to Gavin and Michael and everyone else and it’s pretty much a disaster in the best way.

They get teamed up because everyone's impressed with what they managed to do and all that. Work together for a few months with the flirting and banter before they finally go on a date-thing?

Like.

Flirting’s easy, comes with the territory, but actual FEELINGs and whatnot are complicated and stupid hard. (...that’s what she said.)

Takes a close call to make them realize they’re wasting time better spent NOT being dumbasses (and maybe one of the others says as much) and then it’s some blurted invitation to coffee or burgers or whatever and this date...thing.

It gets ruined, of course, because enemies from their past pop up and shoot at them and then shenanigans? But they smooch somewhere in there and get other the awkward stage of being them and not knowing how to do FEELINGS and like. Save the day, but also smooch, idk, you know how these things go.

And then everyone makes fun of them for forever for not figuring their shit out before then, and also a lot of death-defying shenanigans and explosions and sekrit agent/operative fun-times???

[vagrantblvrd]

Recent videos with Michael wearing glasses again - and the occasional one where Ryan’s wearing his glasses?

I just want FAHC AU pre-Fake AH crew where these idiots have to hide out for a while Because Reasons and their idea of a disguise involves glasses, because of course.

(If it works for Clark Kent, who are they to question?)

Just like.

They go all-out with the Civilian Look?

Michael and Ryan immediately swing towards Classic Nerd because Ryan totally was one before he kind of stumbled into becoming the Vagabond.

Michael is just, hey. He figures no one would expect it from him, and to be honest he totally is a nerd. (He just covers it up with the ~anger and blowing shit up/setting things on fire stuff, so you know.)

Or maybe this isn’t FAHC AU at all and some sekrit spy bullshit and the classic nerd aesthetic is how they dress when they’re not on a mission or whatever?

And then the romcom Meet Cute happens.

One of them stopping at a coffee shop/bakery to meet with a contact - but oh no! Their clumsy civilian persona bumps into someone else and then it’s awkward, bumbling apologies and shy smiles and this oh no, they’re hot realization.

Meanwhile, their contact/handler who’s like, idk. Gavin or Jeremy is watching all this go down like what the actual fuck?

Even better if their eyes meet and they suddenly know the idiots still stuck in romcom mode Aren’t What They Appear To Be. But instead of going to defcon one or whatever with the paranoia and suspicion (how ~convenient they’d both happen to arrange a meet at the same spot, you know?), they shrug and settle back to see how things shake out with their idiots?

And then from there it’s Michael and Ryan doing the awkward flirting and even more awkward dating bit considering they’re both trying to keep their sekrits from one another and are totally head over heels for one another.

Eventually it all leads to some super Dramatic reveal when their enemies or whatever catch up to them and there are shootouts and car chases and that late night first-aide session in a cheap motel somewhere while they try to figure out what the hell is going on/get into contact with Gavin and Jeremy and such.

(Lingering touches and awkwardness/wariness of realizing they’re not just a couple of nerds but actually wanted criminals/highly trained sekrit agents and what does this mean for their awkward little romance now?)

And then some dramatic climactic fight somewhere and good luck kisses - first and last??? - expecting to die and what can it hurt to kiss this asshole before they go out in a  blaze of glory, right?

Meanwhile, you’ve got Gavin and Jeremy having their own little meetings all over the place to root out whatever trouble is coming after their idiots.

Late night meetups at an all-night diner and soft little smiles because it’s been a long goddamned day for them. (Michael and Ryan do not make things easy, and oh, God, did you see what those morons did on their latest date? Where did they learn to socialize?)

Clandestine meets at the cliche park bench in front a duck pond and so on, sharing secrets - they’re not enemies, after all, and theirs is a dangerous business and it pays to know people and so on. (Favors that can be called in somewhere along the road and all that, and also Michael and Ryan deserve something nice and they could be that for one another, so yeah.)

And just.

Idk, dropping by with pizza and drinks and taking a break from the oodles of shit they have to sift through to help their idiots and maybe they fall asleep on each other on someone’s couch with a shitty move on the televison and takeout containers on the coffee table and all that?

ALSO.

Having to force their idiots to not be weird about things when everything’s resolved and it’s totally okay for them to be in a relationship because hey, nice things? But also friends/allies/and just fucking kiss you already you assholes, this shit got old real fucking fast, okay?

Also, also.

Realizing they’re more or less in a relationship themselves and oh, hey, when did that happen? But also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  and then, idk, smooches or adopting kittens together.

(Oooooh, also. One of them showing up at the other’s place during a rainstorm before things get resolved with at least - at least - one bedraggled kitten tucked into their coat and that awkward smile and “It followed me home?” without catching the bit about calling the other person’s place home, because they, too, are idiots who are totally gone on one antoher, and anyway, the kitten is cute as hell and already owns both their hearts and just. Yes.)

[vagrantblvrd]

for notfic anything myansay would be fabulous❤

So, in trying to edit this post something went Horribly Wrong and the cut tag I used got all weird on me? (Technical term, I’m pretty sure.)

Since I can’t seem to edit it to fix it, I deleted the body of the post and am putting a link to the cross-posted version on AO3 in its place instead.

Myansay hitman/sekrit agent prompt fill

[vagrantblvrd]

re: your myansay: oh my god gavin with sunglasses and tea, just sitting on the porch watching jeremy do manual labor? honestly such a fucking mood. and then ryan's like 'what the fuck are you doing, asshole, stop ogling him, you're acting like a cougar, stop treating the rookie like he's your personal poolboy'

Lol, yes!

I like to imagine Gavin looks at Ryan over the top of his sunglasses before he pats the spot next to him - Ryan’s injured too, you know, not good for him to tire himself out and all.

“Why, Ryan,” he says, in this ridiculous bastardized southern accent Matt must have coached him on (previous missions and just the two of them getting up to No Good together), “Whatever do you mean?”

(Like Gavin hasn’t caught Ryan staring when the Jones’ are over and Michael’s fiddling with some bit of wiring or who even knows Ryan may or may not have fucked up intentionally? Michael having to squeeze into tight areas or contort himself so his shirt rucks up exposing tantalizing bits of skin (:O) while Ryan pretends not to notice and Gavin is rolling his eyes so hard they’re in danger of falling out of his head. Also/or those times Lindsay’s laughing so damn hard at something it’s ridiculously infectious and Ryan’s all *_________* at it and just. Yes.)

And then Gavin takes a dainty sip of his tea and turns back to watch Jeremy with this :3 look on his face Ryan knows only too well.

So, Ryan, okay. Just sighs and points at the glass of sweet tea Gavin made because he knew Ryan would come out to chide him and takes a sip as he settles back and just gives up because Gavin is insufferable, but he’s learned how to make tea the way Ryan likes it even if Gavin thinks it’s a form of abomination and all that.

(They’ve had Debates on the matter on previous missions so, yeah.)

And Jeremy, okay. Totally not aware he’s being ogled watched, so all those times he stops to wipe sweat from his forehead with the back of his wrist with the sun behind him and so on?

Definitely unintentional.

Really.

(Also Lindsay watching through her kitchen window all >:DDDDD may or may not happen at least once, because can you blame her? While Michael is over there like omg, stop, you creep but also maybe passing by that same window a time or two himself. Because stuff he needs out of the fridge or like. Other reasons that Lindsay laughs at him for forever about.)

[vagrantblvrd]

This is like. Totally something FAHC Gavin would do and fail to mention to anyone ever?

For reasons.

But like.

He gets a position with the crew after a demonstration/test run and everyone just assumes it’s Hacker/Thief Magic and whatever, and to be fair, a lot of it is?

Like he’s good with computer systems and other techy things, but also he’s not above playing dirty? (Smart, really, but a lot of people don’t see things that way and he’s got the scars to show for it.)

But anyway, anyway, the crew’s in a tight spot somewhere and Gavin’s like. “I’ve got this,” and does the little hand-swipe and unlocks a door they need to get through to not die horribly and no one thinks much about it at the time?

Gavin’s a hacker, you know, it’s part of his job description?

And then the crew has a really bad day. Gavin and one or more of thm get grabbed by some baddies and even Gavin can’t talk their way out of it and someone is like.

“What’s this?”

And there’s a knife and Gavin’s smile going a little flat because really only one way this can go for him, right? A few minutes later Gavin’s bleeding and the baddie’s got this weird little device(s) in his hand and whoever got grabbed with Gavin is just what the hell.

Because look. It’s one thing to be a good hacker and have ~secrets and whatnot about how he does the things he does? Regular Hacker Magic, not fucking body modifications or whatever, seriously Gavin. (It’s not disgust, just. No need to go so hard, okay? But whatever.)

One, because what the hell, Gavin regarding the implant (or implants, because you know he’d want to cover his bases.) And two, these assholes are going to be real fucking sorry they did that, just wait.

Once they get out of there and the baddies get dead Gavin’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ because the implants are super efficient for his line of work and also he never had to worry about losing his keycard to his apartment/the penthouse/wherever.

And of course he gets new ones later on because efficiency and also a bit like him always carrying lock picks around with him.

When Matt comes on board he’s like, “Oh, cool,” because he’s been thinking about getting implants himself and they just kind of get lost in hacker talk and idk what I’m saying anymore but rest assured the others are all Deeply Concerned about them colluding.

(ALSO. Gavin and Matt pranking one another by reprogramming their implants? Because dorks.)

BUT ALSO.

Sekrit agent!Gavin with the implants being all ~sneaky and clever and whatnot?

Maybe techie!Ryan who floats the idea to Gavin. New/improved implants that won’t be detected by enemies *insert bad spy movie science BS here* they’ve come up with in the lab since the last time Gavin’s been down there for work-related reasons?

OR.

Sekrit agent!Ryan being all *eyebrow raise* and “Oh, that’s clever,” when Gavin uses his implants to get them out of a sticky situation and then typical spy movie shenanigans in which there is sexual tension like whoah, but I digress.

[vagrantblvrd]

I love the photos for the new AH merch because it’s like weird family outing and/or?

FAHC AU where they have to pretend to be “normal” civilian human beings and only have terribad 80s/90s sitcoms to go off of?

OR.

The same, but with sekrit agents where they’re all from different agencies/whatevers and don’t know everyone in the quaint suburban neighborhood they’re undercover in is a sekrit agent.

Just imagine, okay.

Super skilled sekrit agents struggling with making casseroles for a neighborhood potluck. Approaching baking a cake for the new neighbor next year like that time time they had to disarm a nuke in the middle of a city.

ALL the things, but domestic.

Okay, wait.

Maybe not everyone in the neighborhood is a sekrit spy?

There are a few legit civilians in there. Mr. Magruder who steals Ryan’s newspaper every morning because he’s too cheap to get his own subscription. So Ryan sets up and Operation with state of the line tech to catch the perpetrator in the act the way he would to find someone selling state secrets or whatever.

Anna down the block who does the “Oh, how...lovely. Very..creative, isn’t it?” and so on at the fundraiser bake sale for the local school when she gets a load of Lindsay’s latest cupcake masterpiece? Just. Totally passive-aggressive bitchy about it.

Fiona sidling over to Lindsay because that bitch and Plots with her because she thinks Lindsay’s just some civilian getting shit on for no reason and doesn’t realize they’re in rival agencies and really, they’ll show her who the real top baker in this neighborhood is!!1! >:(((((((((((((((((((((((((

Everyone being hit on by the single ladies/lonely housewives and either being Suave and Charming about it or panicking and claiming they left their stove on or something and running the hell away.

Jeremy or Michael or someone mowing the lawn with their shirt off because it’s hot as hell out and the HOA will be on their ass if their lawn is .00000000000001 millimeter too tall and they don’t have a lawn service and it’s just a reason for shirtless lawn mowing, please let me have this. (Of course they have to pause their work to wipe sweat off their forehead with their arm, and whoever is Pining for them from afar is Suffering witnessing this.)

Petty feuds and arguments over whose hedge belongs to who and a million other aggravating things that comes with these things.

ALSO.

Someone has a crisis in which their pipes burst and their spy house floods or is otherwise made unlivable and finds ~shelter with the object of their Pining From Afar (not realizing they’re both sekrit agents) and angsting over falling for this oblivious civilian. (Which, once the truth is revealed turns into angsting over being in rival agencies, because yes.)

ALL the shenanigans with the sekrit spy in surburbia? But like. 99.9% of the neighborhood are also sekrit spies and they’re doing everything to avoid blowing their cover.

Also, also?

The reason they’re all there is like. Gavin or someone who is a hacker who had to go into hiding from his enemies/someone who REALLY wants him dead and he is totally aware the entire time that they’re all sekrit agents?

Delights in making them squirm and being all “innocent” when he catches them floundering at playing normal?

Like, sure.

Some of them probably have orders to kill him if the baddies grab him - can’t risk him telling them what he knows or whataver, so better to put him down than let the baddies squeeze whatever info they can from him - but he’s having too much time fucking with everyone to care?

And then the baddies do grab him and whoever his love interest(s) is(are) in this goes all sekrit agent to get him back - and the others join in and it’s this ridiculous situation where they realize they’re all sekrit agents and also Gavin is a total bastard for knowing the whole time and fucking with them.

Dramatic Heroing and then Gavin being all :D at them even though he’s (artfully beat up) and all then smooches with his love interest while the others are bickering in the background over the undercover sekrit shenanigans and such.

(also, this all sounds way too familiar to me and I think I wrote something like this before, but whatever because it’s hilarious as hell to me, so. yes.)

[vagrantblvrd]

Related to the post where Luke is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  about crime that AU where Luke is just all about crime.

Plot reasons with him running into Han and Chewie on Tatooine and falling in with them with the smuggling and whatnot. Ran into all kinds where he learned to properly criminal, you know?

Helped a lot he almost had a sixth sense about things sometimes, saved him and his friends from getting caught or worse, but it also gives him a certain reputation in certain circles too.

Also? Bounties. A lot of them and all over the place and he and Han and Chewie may not have a thing about who’s got the biggest bounty on them at any given time. (Loser buys drinks next time they stop in somewhere with a bar or cantina.)

There are run-ins with bounty hunters sprinkled in there, and if Luke’s honest with himself his favorite has to be this Mandalorian he keeps bumping into?

Serious type, real professional.

But.

After a few run-ins Luke thinks he’s wearing the guy down? Swears he cracked a joke once, dragging Luke to some local law enforcement for something or other. Luke not overly bothered because Han would be looking for him and anyway, the bounty puck the Mandalorian tracked him down for this time was small-time stuff, nothing to worry about.

He flirts outrageously with the Mandalorian whenever the guy actually catches up to him. Started as a way to get under his skin, maybe throw him off-balance enough he could get away, but the guy’s too good to fall for it. (Doesn’t mean Luke stops, goodness no, but once it’s clear the Mandalorian’s not going to bite it’s just. A really weird game they play? Hell if Luke knows, but the Mandalorian hasn’t put him in carbonite yet, so he must not be that mad about it.

(Han thinks it’s weird as hell the way Luke antagonizes the Mandalorian, keeps telling him he’s going to go too far one day and carbonite will be the good end for him, but Luke doesn’t thin that’s true, so...)

Anyway, anyway.

For all that Luke’s become a pretty good criminal type - leans towards thievery, stuff that requires a but more finesse than Han or Chewie favor. Which works out incredibly well for them while doing crime. Everyone’s distracted by whatever Han and Chewie are doing and fail to clock the farm boy as any kind of threat, which never goes well for the them, so.

Anyway, while Luke’s off adventuring and whatnot with Han and Chewie he send money home to Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen on a regular basis. The farm didn’t make much at the best of times, and that’s part of the reason Luke left n the first place. (One less mouth to feed, one less dumb kid to look after.)

They go to Tatooine every once in a while too, Han picking up jobs and other things, but some of it’s to do with Luke’s home and the only family he’s ever known, but to hear Han tell it they go there for work. (Really.)

So on one of their trips to Tatooine Luke goes to visit his aunt and uncle and there are a pair of droids on the farm. Uncle Owen putting Luke to work getting them cleaned up an all that after a tense moment when he sees Luke. He and Beru know Luke’s getting up to trouble, know he’s a criminal now, but he’s still the kid they raised and anyway, might be better that than and up like his father, so.

Luke gets put to work with Artoo and C-3PO, and they still go missing the next day with him chasing after and the meeting with Old Ben. Leia’s message and everything else, including finding aunt Beru and uncle Owen after the Imperials have been through.

All that happens like before, but this time they don’t have to go looking for a ship to hire because Han and Chewie and Luke is so damned relieved to see them after everything. (Han was getting worried too, about to go looking for him when Luke found him first, trailing some weird old hermit behind him.

The training and whatnot on the way to Alderaan, and Luke’s not the same wide-eyed farm boy this time around, but he’s got a feeling they can’t just not go looking for the princess from the message, and Han -

He cannot believe he’s going along with this, but it’s not like he can let Luke go on ahead without him, and anyway, anyway.

Everything else more or less goes the same way, but along with the whole Jedi thing Luke has going on he’s also a pretty damn good thief, picked up some other criminal-type skills along the way.

Has his own little network of contacts and friends all across the galaxy, and most of Han’s and Chewie’s have a soft spot for their third partner in crime and yes.

But also?

Once he joins the Rebellion they realize he has a very specific set of skills and talents that would make him a logical choice for more...delicate missions.

So, he does sekrit spy stuff while not flying about in his X-wing having pew-pew dogfights with Imperial TIE fighters or volunteering for missions to shut down a shield generator on a forest moon somewhere.

Weirdly/coincidentally enough, he runs into his - Han, really, he’s not Luke’s Mandalorian, you need to stop that. (Although really, Luke wouldn’t have any objections if he were Luke’s, but the whole criminal past/current rebel spy/fighter pilot/fledgling Jedi thing, so.)

They have their run-ins, although thankfully it’s usually when the Mandalorian is tracking someone else, seems a bemused at the way it keeps working out that way. Used to be that the times in the past he was looking for Luke he had to turn the galaxy upside down to find him.

Luke never tells the Mandalorian he’s gone straight, works for the Rebellion these days. Can’t risk it no matter how much he does like the guy.

Still flirts outrageously with him though, habit and a little bit of hopeful wishing and no time, way, to do anything about it even if the Mandalorian reciprocated because Rebellion and fighting a war and really, really, he wouldn’t want to do that to the Mandalorian anyeay.

Then Endor and the whole...everything that happened, talk about family drama.

Doesn’t really know what to do after that because he’s still processing, but the Empire’s not gone and he’s still a damn good spy/agent and anyway.

He does that, goes on sekrit spy missions and the whatnot for a while before he just...can’t anymore.

Jedi stuff, you know?

Goes searching for relics and whatever he can get his hands on, thinks about starting a school after a bit because people keep finding him.

Parents with Force-sensitive kids who are worried about them, street kids on whatever planet he’s on and the Force nudging them together, and just.

Someone needs to help them, and it’s also a bit of him needing them in return, and Leia just gives him this look, because she knows.

Promises to help him however he she can, and in the meantime Yavin 4, you know?

And that’s great, it’s amazing, but once he gets the ball rolling and help in the forms of other older Force-senstive people he can trust to watch and help train the younger students while he’s jetting about he, uh, goes jetting about.

Feels a call from someone in need or hears about a Jedi relic or place of importance and has to go check it out.

Also, though, also.

The New Republic and need for a thief of his specific skill set and sekrit missions once again.

One of which lands both him and the Mandalorian tracking him for an old - really old, really unflattering holor of his face - in a jall somewhere.

Dungeon?

Something, because Imperial remnant/local warlor hoping to curry favor with their masters and what a deal - a thief/spy/Jedi and the Mandalorian trying to catch him and so on.

Luke in a cell with binders on his wrists and the Mandalorian in a cell opposite also with binders on his wrist, although sans armor.

(They left him his helmet, though, small, cruel mercy that it is.)

So Luke, he bides his time.

Chats his fellow prisoner up much as the Mandalorian has ever let him, lets the little warlord rough him up thinking he’s intimidating Luke - which, ha. Luke’s dealt with worse, this pompous fool is nothing compared to Leia in the morning before being properly caffeinated.

Once he’s sure it’s safe to stage an escape - or he’s gotten all the information the little warlord is likely to monologue at him - Luke does the escape thing.

Slips out of the binders easy as you please and looks up at the ceiling of his cell/dungeon.

Repurposed to hold prisoners like him and the Mandalorian and not properly secured and all that. Yes, it’ll keep (most) people in, but getting out?

Well.

Convenient vents and ducts and Luke’s just small enough to squeeze through.

Located in the ceiling though, and too high up for most to get to on their own, but the Force is super handy for stuff like that and up he goes.

Mandalorian who’s stewing after the warlord’s last monologue-ing session because he’s got a kid now and that bastard threatened aid kid - watches Luke disappear.

Thinks that’s it then, isn’t it. Years and years of him chasing Luke down whenever he picks up a bounty on him and despite the almost friendly relationship that formed between them over the years, there’s no reason for Luke to stick his neck out for him, right?

Right.

So of course once Luke gets out of the vents and finds his way back to the cells/dungeon he lets the Mandalorian out.

Gives him this little smile, tired, hopelessly fond because yes, okay. The Mandalorian’s been chasing him on and off for years, but it was never personal, always just a job he was doing because professional?

But also, also, the times they helped one another out in the past even with no reason to do so, other than it being the right thing to do.

And truthfully, Luke’s been thinking of the Mandalorian as a friend for a long time now, likes him too much for anything else and even if none of that were true, he has a kid now. One that might be in danger and Luke can’t turn his back on either of them now, you know?

So he gets the Mandalorian out, and they take down the warlord and Luke -

His part of the mission’s over, was just supposed to gather intel and deal with the warlord if he could, sends word back to Leia and whoever sent him on the mission and then -

“I could help, if you’d like,” because of course he offers, and the Mandalorian is like -

“Why?”

And Luke, okay, Luke.

Just looks at the (his) Mandalorian like he can’t believe the guy even asked him that. (But kind of yeah, he expected that, and it just makes him even fonder of the dope.)

Mandalorian back in his armor and no longer wrong-footed and so very him Luke could laugh.

“I want to,” he says, because when it comes down to it, it really is just that simple.

And then off the two of them go to make sure the Mandalorian’s kid is safe and wow, what a shock to learn Grogu is one of Yoda’s species and also incredibly strong in the Force and -

“I’m supposed to take him to the Jedi,” the Mandalorian - Din - says, sounding heartbroken just saying those words, and Luke gets why that is once he thinks about it for a moment.

The old Jedi Order and their Thing about attachment and -

“Yeah, alright,” Luke says, because he’s worried about Din, curled over his sleeping son held in his arms and grieving his absence already because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. “How about we not do that for a moment, hm?”

Din looks at him because no, no, this non-neogtiable, this is for Grogu’s own good -

And Luke sighs, because much as he loves Ben and Yoda and his father, the previous Jedi Order have a lot to answer for, don’t they.

He tells Din that hey, so, surprise, Luke is actually kind of a big deal in terms of the Jedi world these days, you know?

Has this pieced together school on Yavin 4 with all these students, but more importantly? Their families are there too.

Lets that sink in, sits back and watches Din looking down at his sleeping kid - tiny green gremlin of a kid - and smiles the moment everything registers in Din’s head.

Apologizes for not telling Din before, but Thief and Rebel and Rebel Spy and just a lot going on and he never actually hid what he was from Din, just. Wasn’t ridiculously blatant about it - because the Empire killed the Jedi Order, and for all his skill, abilities, Luke is still very much a man, mortal as any other and just.

Yes.

Din is like. Will need more time to process, but Luke is a - the Jedi - and says he can train Grogu and that Din won’t have to give him up.

...Really, it sounds too good to be true, but Luke’s never lied to him when it counted, you know? Told awful, horrible lies he meant Din to see through, but never anything hurtful, harmful.

So he and Grogu go with Luke to Yavin 4 and Grogu gets along with Luke’s other students adnd enjoys it there.. Din’s a bit more out of place until some of the students see him training and ask if he can teach them too - and he looks at Luke, wary of overstepping, but Luke is delighted, okay, delighted.

And since Din doesn’t mind teaching the kids, welcomes it really, as a way to feel like he’s contributing to Luke’s school and generosity in allowing Din to stay.

Sparring sessions between him and Luke, because of course. And then other flirty things before they realize that wow, hey, they actually like one another an awful lot, and then smooches are had and Leia and Grogu laugh themselves sick because it took those idiots long enough you know?

But yes.

[vagrantblvrd]

i'm love the star wars modern au idea of yours, but what's luke' story?

Thank you, friend it was a lot of fun to write. :D

If we’re talking backstory I really kind of love the whole completely overwrought nonsense of Padme being a powerful politician and Anakin the sekrit agent who saved her life and then utter ridiculousness of him pretending to go bad in order to unearth a massive conspracy theory (i have a Thing for that trope sorry) and Luke and Leia grew up thinking Anakin betrayed his county?

Only for them to get caught up the conspiracy theory and all kinds of wacky adventures that almost got them killed many many times but also reunited their family (complicated does not begin to cover it) and resulted in them meeting many many...interesting characters. (Like that one scruffy guy with the smuggling and his BFF.)

Luke and Leia growing up with that over their heads and their mother’s sadness - always there, even when she smiled - and then some rebellious youthful indiscretions and whatnot?

Luke and Leia both fell in with some ~disreputable sorts, but Leia’s ended with her pursuing a career in politics and Luke ran around with idiots like Biggs and Wedge who were a major help in the whole family drama/spy movie nonsense.

The tattoos were a thing they did when it was all over, right? Biggs and Wedge and everyone else realizing Luke was going to leave, move away because after all the excitement he needed to clear his head, sort his life out so there was one last night of idiots being idiots on their bikes and a bar or two and then the tattoos and such. The whole gang - not really a gang, just a bunch of idiots who liked fast bikes and stupid risks and did Luke mention the idiots part of thing? Because that’s important - still keep in touch and make the trip out to see Luke every once in a while.

Always great for Luke, but gets even better when Din’s involved because usually a few of them make the trip, weekend thing on their bikes with the dumb jackets someone decided they couldn’t be without and if someone didn’t know better like they were up to no good. (Luke knows better though, knows they’re idiots through and through and some of the best people he knows, but the up to no good thing is always true even if it’s not the kind of trouble most would expect. Because idiots.)

Anyway, Luke got on his bike and just sort of wandered aimlessly for a while. Drifting from place to place and making friends along the way.

(Trying to figure out who the hell he is, what he wants in life with the whole Family Drama and such.0

Din is in no way surprised about that when Luke tells him, because Luke makes friends like it’s the easiest thing in the world. (Enemies too, but that’s not as intentional.)

After a while he ended up wherever Din’s living because, idk, Obi-Wan or someone lives in the same city and Luke’s just there to visit? But there’s a whole Thing and Luke ends up staying to work with kids or some such.

Youth center or what have you with Obi-Wan and the kids love him - of course they do - because Luke. (Also the cool bike and rad tattoo and the stories he tells the kids sometimes - kid-safe versions of course - about what he and his idiot friends got up to way back when.)

Meanwhile, Din thinks Luke might have killed a guy and is on the run from the law and other ridiculous things, but he’s so good with Grogu and has the sweetest smile and Din is totally willing to be the guy Luke calls at two in the morning if he ever needs someone to help him get rid of a body, just putting that out there.

Luke being “...” and “I’ll keep that under consideration,” and trying not to laugh in Din’s face because that’s the sweetest declaration of love he’s ever heard.

(But also? I kind of love Luke’s life up until meeting Din to being completely uneventful minus some family drama that resulted in a strained relationship with his dad and moving across the country to sort his life out. Din still thinks Luke killed a man and is on the run from the law and so on, and Luke is just like “...” and “I’m not, really,” and also trying not to laugh because Din and volunteering to help Luke get rid of a dead body and it’s still the sweetest thing, if not a little fucked up, so yes.)

[vagrantblvrd]

Finally had a chance to do ~fun things again while things are quiet and caught up on the GTA V stunt jump shenanigans.

Which, you know.

That AU where Gavin’s works for papers - staff or freelance or something as a camera dude. (Closest he could get to Dream Job and Vinewood is right there and all.)

Somehow he just happens to Be There when the Fakes are heisting or criminal-ing and it gets him a steady paycheck because he’ll do stuff even the craziest/experienced camera people won’t. (And some of those fuckers went to active warzones or covered natural disaster-level storms and the whatnot.)

Anyway.

He’s just like, ??? when his coworkers tell him to maybe not be so dumb about taking some of the risks he does because he’s going for good footage? Does the news not want any of that or???

And then!

He goes somewhere on his day off to just, take a walk of whatever and is just There when the Fakes roll up and start fucking around? Some cool hill or ramp or whatever someone set up whenever and the Fakes have these bets on who can make the jump and who can’t. (Any car around is fair game if one of theirs pops a tire or gets too fucked up to drive straight.)

Gavin’s like ??? because what even are these idiots doing? But he also has his phone and records as much of it as he can.

It happens again a couple of times by accident before he starts seeking out these stunt jumps someone set up.

(Maybe it was like. A group of idiots from somewhere fucking around themselves before they grew up/went on their way.got themselves killed and people in Los Santos took up ~The Cause after them and it’s just another Los Santos Thing.)

Anyway, Gavin talks to his co-worker, this Risinger guy who seems to know what’s really going on in the city and reports on like, maybe a quarter of what he finds out because he’s not an idiot?

Crews like the Fakes are way less of a problem than the cops or any other authority and everyone knows it.

Gavin gets to these stunt jumps ahead of the Fakes and finds a good pace to set up to record their antics because whatever they do it’s usually gold? Doesn’t do anything with all the footage he gets because there’s no reason to?

Like, sure. A few stolen cars and accidental property damage, but no one really gets hurt.

And then he leaves anonymous bets or dares, ideas of stuff they could do to up the ante and the Fakes are like !!! and immediately paranoid?

But when nothing bad happens after a while are just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ because Los Santos is a weird, weird city.

...or maybe not so much because this would be an excellent case for Risinger to have a Thing with either the Vagabond or the Vagabond and Rimmy Tim and he’s like, “Yeah, so this guy I work with is totally recording you idiots being stupid as hell, pls don’t kill him he’s actually entertaining???”

(Like. Jon was a journalist/photographer who helped expose the agency that betrayed the Battle Buddies and is like an entire story all its own with the whole sekrit agent betrayed by people they trusted and the plucky reporter who joins forces with them and then like Adventures In Stupidity and also Dramatic Kisses, idk)

Maybe Gavin gets into trouble while shenanigating elsewhere, accidentally witnesses some politician or whoever doing shady shit and gets a hit put out on him and oh, hey, isn’t that the Vagabond in the middle of his living room in the wee hours of the morning???

Also, oh, God, oh, God, I’m going to die and I’m wearing the fucking duckie pajamas Fiona gave me as a gag gift, my obituary will be the most embarrassing thing ever /o\

Ryan’s like, “Uh???” because he was there to give Gavin a warning but then he went and had some kind of mental breakdown and muttering about his pajamas???

Before he can do anything about it some other hitman for hire comes along and tries to kill them both and then it’s Adventures In Not Dying Horribly as Ryan brings Gavin to the penthouse for a Chat and stuff.

The crew is like, “Wait, wait, you’ve been doing what?” as Gavin shows them some of the footage on his phone of them doing stunt jumps and whatnot he hasn’t transferred to a harddrive elsewhere - for funsies - and Geoff’s like “My car(s)!!1!”

(Because you know someone took his car(s) out of the garage for the jumps and said car(s) never made it back home, RIP.)

The crew helps Gavin out because Risinger asked them to, and also Gavin’s like entertaining the way Jon said he was.

Gavin may or may not be like, “Who’s the grumpy bastard?” because Michael is all “Okay, but what if we don’t do the thing?”

Because he’s the one tasked with keeping an eye on Gavin and is like, wow, yeah, I can see why someone would want to kill you, but in a fond kind of way as time goes on.

(Sort of.)

When everything’s cleared up the crew not only has Risinger helping them out at his paper/whatever, but also Gavin, and it’s.

Someone’s going to figure them out one day, at which point they get to choose between becoming full-time crew or equivalent of witness relocation?

But seeing as how Gavin’s kind of sweet on Michael - which, look. They all agree is hilarious as fuck if only for the way Michael is like >:(((((((((((( a lot with Gavin?

But also they totally deserve one another when Gavin goads Michael into doing the dumbest shit for no reason and Michael’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  because why not and idk, I’m sure tired and all, but yes.

[vagrantblvrd]

undercover battle buddies defecting to the fakes?

Lol, omg, yessss!

I feel I always go the route of whatever agency/organization Ryan and Jeremy worked for when the battle Buddies became a thing being ~evil/corrupt?

But I’m in a Shenanigans kind of mood in which nothing hurts. (Much.)

SO.

Let’s say these two assholes actually work for a decent agency/organization that isn’t out to derail governments for fun and profit/otherwise take over the world, okay.

They’re just out there doing their best to protect their country and protect innocents and all this other good stuff. (But then Ryan and Jeremy come along and their superiors and handlers and everyone else Suffers because dear God they’re such assholes. Also that whole thing with the Mutual Pining that drags on for years before they sort their shit out, but that’s a tale for another time.)

They Battle Buddy it up, and after a while their bosses figure out it’s smarter to hand the missions requiring anything like subtlety/stealth to anyone else in the agency/organization if they don’t want another Incident on their hands.

Which is great, because it means they get the missions that require summer blockbuster movie levels of pyrotechnics and demolitions and all-out chaos.

And then, IDK, the FIB comes to them with a Problem or something else has their agency/organization looking at Los Santos.

Rumors this new crew making waves in the city’s criminal underground is Up To Something involving Really Bad Stuff. (New designer drug that kills a good percentage of its users, or running guns that are more heavy artillery than what typically makes it way into the city,  or human trafficking or something vile and all that, because plot reasons demand it. Something to have their bosses rightfully Concerned.)

And then for whatever reason they decide their best bet to getting to the bottom of things is sending these two assholes in undercover?

Sets them up with vague-ish backstories that even the Battle Buddies can’t fuck up, you know? (God knows Ryan has a habit of forgetting code names during missions to everyone’s exasperation/exasperated fondness?)

Something about former spec ops or government agents who were betrayed by their superiors and had to fake their deaths and go into hiding ad had to create new identities for themselves to stay under the radar and so on. (“...are you trying to tell us something?” and “Huh. That’s not at all concerning.”)

ANYWAY.

The usual backstory I love to use for these assholes in the FAHC AU, only it’s something their bosses came up with to explain their presence in Los Santos. Just another set of mercs with a Tragic Backstory looking to make a few bucks.

They run around for a bit, a few months working for small-time crews and so on, working on building up their reputations and all that fun stuff.

Problem is, it’s boring.

They don’t get to blow shit up anywhere near as much as they used to and whatever jobs they hired to do don’t need a lot of brainpower.

Ryan starts it, this slow decent into madness and fashion-related atrocities with the damn mask he picks up one day, right?

Shrugs when Jeremy asks what the deal is and makes up some story about this vicious killer he’s supposed to be wanting to keep his identity a mystery or some other BS and Jeremy is like “Okay, buddy,” like he’s not the one to suggest the face paint later on as a joke. (Forgot that this was Ryan he was talking to with that theater background and stubborn as hell and just kind of an idiot? But whatever. Ryan makes it work.)

Not to be outdone Jeremy pieces together Rimmy Tim over a few months. Kind of passive-aggressive about it when Ryan pulls a stupid stunt that almost gets him killed.

Sees a cowboy hat in a store window as he’s walking past because Ryan was all “I don’t see what the problem is,” and “It worked” and “You worry too much” and it was either go out for a bit to cool down or implode from his worry-fueled anger. (The rest follows after, to Ryan’s confusion/fear/disgust until Rimmy Tim is just as well-known as the Vagabond and their bosses and handlers are just like “What have we done,” setting these assholes loose on Los Santos the way they have, because seriously.)

A few months later and the Fakes go to them for a job because they’ve heard about these mercenaries and need the extra muscle.

There’s the whole Thing where Ryan is very Vagabond at them and Jeremy is very Rimmy Tim and the others are like, “Well, alright” because God knows they’re not exactly normal themselves, you know? What’s a couple more weirdos in the mix?

Crime-related shenanigans in which Ryan and Jeremy realize pretty quickly on the Fakes aren’t the ones behind all the Bad Stuff coming into Los Santos.

Like.

They’re assholes, but not that kind of assholes?

Also, they’re kind of going after all these other gangs and crews and whatever else’s that have been plaguing the city for years. Real assholes involved in Bad Stuff they’ve managed to get away with time and time again.

Ryan and Jeremy are just ~subtle with the whole “Why go after these assholes?” line of questioning, and get blank looks.

Because look, okay.

They have standards, and those assholes were bringing the city down, but before the Battle Buddies get the wrong idea, think the Fakes are Good Guys or whatever? Those assholes also had territory the Fakes wanted, prime real estate for their own criminal ventures and shit. Nothing noble about it, so stop with those looks, assholes.

Anyway, anyway.

The crew(s) behind the Bad Stuff happen to be the Fake AH Crew’s main rival(s), and they’re engaged in what amounts to all-out warfare.

Once Ryan and Jeremy realize what’s what, they’re all for helping the Fakes out because it’s kind of why they’re in Los Santos to start with? And also they end up liking these assholes they’re working with.

A little too much, really, because once they take out the assholes behind the Bad Stuff once and for all, they don’t want to leave?

Got a little too attached to the crew and their life in Los Santos, you know?

Don’t feel that keen about going back to work for the agency/organization even if they were treated well there because it was starting to wear on them. (Came way too close to burning out there before their latest assignment and it’s. Yeah.)

There’s a whole Thing in which they do go back, because Duty and whatnot, but they’re not happy and it shows.

They do their job, but it’s obvious to their bosses/handlers something is off with them. At first they think it’s related to the Los Santos assignment, but for the wrong reasons? Think having to pose as criminals and all that wasn’t the best idea and they’re having problems readjusting. (Which to be fair, they are, but again not for the reasons they’re thinking.)

This goes on for a while, until there’s another Situation in Los Santos, right? One that has Agent 14 going to the Battle Buddies because whatever the Situation is, it’s something that no one can know the IAA or whoever he works for was involved.

Somehow, Ryan and Jeremy have become the sekrit agent/operative/spy experts on Los Santos and the criminal element there given their time undercover there. Agent 14 goes to them asking how viable approaching the Fakes for help with the Situation would be and that -

Look.

They really like the Fakes, okay. Got along a little too well with them and their chaos and miss it a whole hell of a lot. (Kindred spirits and all that.)

To say they’re not pleased about Agent 14 and his bosses wanting to use the Fakes to fix their own mistakes would be an understatement. (They know how assholes like Agent 14 and his bosses work, okay. Know how incredibly lucky they’ve been to work for an agency/organization that gives a damn about them beyond how useful they are.)

So.

They manage to pull strings, call in favors whatever to make sure if/when Agent 14 does go to the Fakes Ryan and Jeremy go too.

(This is the point where their bosses/handlers realize why the two of them have been acting so weird since the Los Santos assignment and why and are just, SIGH because of course these assholes would get attached to the Fakes.)

Anyway.

Agent 14 goes to make a deal with the Fakes, and around the time Geoff asks why the hell they’d want to agree to any of it, Ryan and Jeremy pop up, all, “Hey, guys” and “Long time, huh?” and also “So, there’s a funny story about all this,” and go through the whole Thing of them being government agents/operatives and waiting for the fallout.

(There has to be one, right? All this anger/resentment and so on from the Fakes about being lied to and they’re all “This is a terrible idea” but like hell are they going to let Agent 14 and his agency/organization use the Fakes and most likely try to arrest them whatever afterward, so yeah.)

But!

“I fucking knew it!” and “You owe me fifty bucks,” and so on because of course the Fakes knew they were government agents/operatives, you know?

Maybe not at first, but they had Gavin or Matt or whoever looking into the Battle Buddies – small inconsistencies beyond their cover stories that didn’t feel right and general paranoia and so on. Always ready for the two of them to turn around and betray them.

(Also, though. Trust being built when perfect opportunities came up for just that and Ryan and Jeremy let them slide on by and the two of them disappearing after everything without a peep. The long months/year after that without undue trouble from various law enforcement fronts. Maybe some of them ~scheming ways to find them and see what the hell was going on with them now, if they needed help or were just fine for themselves and so on, because crew is crew is crew.)

Ryan and Jeremy being Baffled because there’s less Accusation and such going on than expected?

Geoff going up to them without a glance at Agent 14 and asking them if he should trust the asshole, help the government with their problem.

And there’s this moment where the two of them have to think about it, because it’s a valid question, you know?

If it was their agency/organization, they wouldn’t have to think too hard. (They’re all for Doing the Right Thing, and sometimes that means bending the rules just so.)

But this is Agent 14 and his bosses and so they’re like.

No, because they sure as hell don’t trust the asshole, but the problem he and his agency/organization have isn’t something they can ignore.

So.

They just tell him they’ll be working with them on this too, implication that if Agent 14 and his people try to screw the Fakes over they’d have to go through the Battle Buddies and their agency/organization first, and that’s not a fight 14 and his people would win, you know?

Geoff is just, “Good to hear,” and then the whole Thing where the Battle Buddies show back up in Los Santos and they help the Fakes deal with Agent 14’s problem and all that.

It’s not exactly smooth sailing, because sure the Fakes knew they were government agents/operatives and all that? But it’s different knowing and acting like they didn’t and having it out in the open like this.

Don’t really expect to be betrayed by them, but it’s weird as hell for a little while.

But then there’s an attack or something in which Ryan and Jeremy are so much themselves – ridiculous everything while explosions and fire is happening that the crew is like, “Well okay then” because that at least is the same.

All of them figuring out how they fit together as a crew (family) now and working out whatever lingering issues remain from all that.

And then!

When it’s all over and everyone expects Ryan and Jeremy to go back to their agency/organization, Agent 14 pops up all, “You know...” and makes a little suggestion for Ryan and Jeremy to take back to their usual lives about how handy it was having an asset like the Fakes available to them?

Like.

Really, really useful and all. Could be worth looking into, in case other Situations arise in the future?

And of course they think about it, because Agent 14’s not wrong.

Still.

Not likely to happen, so they go back to their agency/organization and go on missions and try to pretend they’re doing Just Fine.

Their bosses, though.

Get a visit from Agent 14 and his bosses, or just find a proposal from them regarding the Fakes and what a valuable asset they’ve proven to be. (And, you know. It could be a smart investment on their part to have liaisons and all that, in case of future Situations and do Ryan and Jeremy’s bosses have any suggestions for that spot???)

There’s a Thing where the agencies/organizations Plot because it’s not a bad idea at all. Is actually one of the better ones they’ve ever had, just need to iron out some details and all that before they make it a reality.

And then they do, because of course they do.

Call Ryan and Jeremy in for a meeting that has the two of them wary as hell. (Generally speaking, it’s not a good sign when it happens.)

They’re braced for some deeply unpleasant assignment and just kind of ??? at their bosses/handlers and Agent 14 and his bosses as they explain this new assignment they’re being given.

Because it all sounds too good to be true? Acting as liaisons between the Fakes and the agencies/organizations and all that.

Get to do whatever (within reason) until a Situation crops up, and then they’re expected to get the Fakes on board.

(Agent 14’s people seem to think it’s more of an OR ELSE kind of agreement, while their own people are just pls don’t make us regret this you assholes because they know how Ryan and Jeremy work and this is a Terrible Idea but what else can they do? Agent 14 is just kind of amused because like Ryan and Jeremy, he’s actually met the Fakes and kind of likes them, so yeah.)

ANYWAY.

Ryan and Jeremy get to go back to Los Santos and the Fakes who are assholes, sure, but are far from being the worst thing to ever happen to Los Santos. (Do a lot of good, actually, and pretend they don’t because ~hardcore criminal types who are Totally Ruthless and all that.)

Their agency/organization continues to Suffer because now they have this whole crew to worry about aside from their two idiot agents. (And vice versa, with a whole lot of commiserating going on between Geoff and B-Team and the government agency/organization and if the public ever found out it’d be a nightmare? But whatever, nothing worse than what the Battle Buddies have caused for them before.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[vagrantblvrd]

Superhero/supervillain AU where Jeremy’s power is shapeshitfing something along the lines of Mystique.

Pair that with his incredible ability to mislead/lie/etc., and there’s an amazing AU of superhero!Jeremy who is recruited by government agencies/superhero teams for undercover work and so on.

Spends 99% of his adult career in the superhero field as someone else - guy has henchpersoned for the most vile superheros on Earth (and other worlds, because why not) and all that?

Maybe his bosses take advantage of his skills/abilities - God knows younger Jeremy wasn’t super bright - and maybe he’s responsible for a few injustices. (Wrongfully convicted people that begged him to think about what he was doing and he just thought they were trying to flip him?)

And you know at some point one of his bosses is sekritly a baddie and frames Jeremy for some horrendous incident.

A bus of nuns chaperoning orphans on their way to adopt kittens and puppies rescued from breeding mills that featured in a news segment with  Sarah McLachlan in the background because someone on the news crew forgot to put their phone on silent and it’s their ringtone because they love sadness or some shit, idk, but it makes Jeremy look awful, okay?

He has to go on the run and the only one he can turn to is, you know, this supervillain type in Ryan?

Former superhero0ish government agent/whatever Jeremy was who got burned the same way and fakes his death to come back as a masked supervillain.

He was supposed to be Jeremy’s next assignment but Ryan got a new head henchperson in Gavin instead, and just.

Yes.

The three of them working together to expose the baddie who framed Jeremy because common enemy/goals?

And Jeremy realizing how he’s been used all this time.

Ryan is like.

Obviously doesn’t trust Jeremy, but he knows what it’s like to be in his position? But he can’t go easy on Jeremy so he and Gavin basically haze him?

Send him off to do the grunt work when something like that needs doing. (Lol at him over the cameras they’ve got watching him as he has to slog through the sewers looking for an entrance to some facility or other they plan to infiltrate. One not on the blueprints - and doesn’t actually exist because someone gave them bad intel and the knew that? But they don’t let Jeremy in on it until he returns to the base/lair and is like no success, guys.

AND.

Sparring sessions with Gavin on the sidelines on his laptop or whatever and Jeremy and Ryan really going at it?

Ryan intentionally provoking Jeremy, needling him about all his past missions and how many times did he do the baddie’s dirty work for him? How many lives has he ruined and so on until Jeremy mcfreaking snaps.

Has been trying not to think about that until they stop the baddie and he can wallow all he wants? But Ryan won’t let him.

Ryan totally lets Jeremy pin him, this close to actually killing him in his anger?

But then Gavin’s there, calm and cold and ruthless with this knife or what have you at Jeremy’s throat and a polite, “Perhaps you should rethink things, Jeremy,” or “I don’t think so,” or something else super cool sounding my brain won’t cough up right now, but like.

The first time Jeremy sees Gavin as the threat he is and not just this somewhat bumbling henchperson?

Also.

He looks at Ryan and the isn’t gloating like he thought he would be? Hes just. Got this look on his face that’s a bit satisfied because you know the same thing happened to Ryan before, something that made him take a good long look at his life and the things he’d done thinking he was in the right and just, idk.

Then that whole sequence of Jeremy really re-evaluating his life up to that point. All the shit he did as a government agent/superhero/??? and how everything went wrong when he was framed.

Even the way he’d been looking at Ryan and Jeremy as temporary allies, useful in the moment but no real reason to give a fuck about them once everything was over? (Except there was this part of him that had grown to like them, even if they were bastards to him at first?)

While this is going on one of his old bosses finds him and offers him a deal - help them put a stop to the baddie and they can clear his name. Reinstate him, promote him, whatever, because they’re desperate and think Jeremy’s just going to fall in line that easily now. (Oh, and when Jeremy mentions Ryan and Gavin he’s told they  have to be stopped as well because supervillains??? Duh, Jeremy.)

Anyway, Jeremy tells them he’ll think about it and goes back to the base/lair.

Ryan has this look on his face like he knows something happened, but he doesn’t mention it. Turns back to Gavin who’s briefing him - and other henchpersons - about some new intel they got while Jeremy was gone.

Gavin glances at him, and Jeremy has the feeling he knows something is up too, but like Ryan doesn’t bring it up.

This intel that will help them get the baddie for sure this time and everyone works on some plan to that end.

Jeremy feeling guilty as hell the whole time because on one hand he could have his life back, get a damn promotion he should have gotten ages ago in the bargain and all that?

And all he has to do is betray Ryan and Gavin and the others who took him in when his life got all fucked up.

He keeps getting these looks from Ryan and Gavin - and like. Other henchpersons, but no one says anything.

The sparring sessions and whatnot continue and one day Jeremy’s like oh, fuck me, because Ryan and Gavin are going at it in the training room, right?

All Ryan’s power and strength up against Gavin’s speed and agility and it’s the cliche of it looking like they’re dancing rather than fighting?

Because, look.

There’s probably some history between them too, you know?

Former agent/superhero Ryan and this absolutel fucking bastard in Gavin who’s some internationally renowned thief/assassin and their flirty/sexual tension-filled encounters over the years?

Gavin being the one to help Ryan when he was betrayed by his bosses/whatever and all this trust and the whatnot, and of course they know one another’s fighting style forwards and backwards and all that.

Anyway.

They’re having a fucking blast, trading quips and pithy one-liners and it’s like. Jeremy doesn’t even know because it goes so far beyond the oh, no, he/they’re hot thing into something completely else.

And then!

The day of the Final Battle and the three of them at the forefront and Jeremy being forced to choose between getting his old life back, or....not.

Baddie’s been stopped/killed by his own hand because of course, and now it’s this one last choice on Jeremy’s part.

Ryan took a bad hit in the fight and Gavin protecting him with his body and -

He’s not even giving Jeremy a pleading look, with Jeremy standing there and choice to save them or destroy them in the pal of his hand (to be all fricking poetic about it), no.

He’s just watching Jeremy like hey, no, he gets it, he does, and also after all this, what’s your decision gong be, hmm? like he’s expecting Jeremy to betray them.

So of course Jeremy gets angry, fucking pissed, because he didn’t do all this personal growth shit for nothing, you know?

Turns his back on the people who went to him for help, expected him to fall in line like a good little sheep or whatever and tells them to fuck off.

Causes a distraction and calls in some of the henchpersons for a emergency exctraction and they hightail it to a sekrit bunker or whatever Ryan ha set up somewhere.

Jeremy sticks around long enough to make sure everyone’s going to be okay and then gets the hell out of there. (Guilty as hell and thinking he’s more than worn out his his welcome with Ryan and Gavin and it’s just better this way?)

Roams aimlessly around for a bit, does acts of superheroism and whatnot when he runs into a bad situation and then moves on.

And then, of course, there’s this time he superheroes his little heart out abd gets abducted by these henchpersons?

Doesn’t know who they work for because nondescript clothing/armor, and gets taken to some base/lair and put into your standard interrogation scene?

Uncooperative as hell with the asshole using the voice modulator asking him all these questions? (Kind of thinks this is it, this is how he dies in some assholes hidden base/lair/bunker like a loser.)

But then!

One of Jeremy’s answers is just an incredibly creative way to tell someone to fuck off an die? And the asshole with the voice modulator fucking loses it, starts laughing like an asshole and the modulator gets turned off or something because after a moment Jeremy recognizes the laughter.

Fucking Gavin.

Wheezing and squeaking until he turns the PA or whatever off, and the enforce type in the room with Jeremy sighs.

Looks up at the observation window that goes does cool high-tech shit to go from foggy white/reflective mirror to see-through glass and Gavin waves down at them, stupid grin on his face and still laughing.

The enforcer type sighs again and reaches up to pull off the mask/helmet/whatever and of fucking course it’s Ryan.

Him and Gavin looking all over the damn place for Jeremy all this time.

Well, okay. They gave him a few months to get his shit together, but when he just went on with his moping and it stopped being productive/whatever, they decided enough was enough.

Which is how they got to this little point in time.

Ryan sits down across from Jeremy and just. Looks at him.

Jeremy who hasn’t been taking the best care of himself and all that and just.

“You’re an idiot.”

Which Jeremy knows full well?

Doesn’t get the feeling Ryan and Gavin are going to kill him, because nah, but. There’s probably some yelling in his future.

Which, yes?

But also smooches.

First though, long involved talk. Awkward flirting with Jeremy  - fucking finally - realizing Ryan and Gavin are all oh, no, he’s hot about him and have been for a while. Didn’t do anything about it before now, because no way to know if he’d turn on them or not, and best not to complicate things further?

Once Jeremy picked them/their side over getting his old life back they thought it might be okay to test the waters and see if he was likewise interested in them?

But then he ran, and they were like, well okay, thinking that was as good as an answer? (And then they found out he was just. Getting himself in deeper and deeper in all the moping and going nowhere good, and just. Yeah.)

But now!

Awkward flirting and awkward dates and someone being daring enough to kiss someone goodnight on the cheek and all the dumb idiots in love shit I love.

And then the smooches and the whatnot.

Also the three of them being ~supervillains and the whatnot, because yes.

[vagrantblvrd]

Lolol, omg

This, but some manner of AU - FAHC? Hitmen/sekrit agent? - in which someone (Gavin? Ryan?? Jeremy???) is being followed by baddies and while looking around for escape routes/dristraction/??? spot someone and are like of course!!1!

Then smooches, because classic tactic! Never fails!!1!

Promise to send a copy to the smoochee in exchange and it’s all rather pleasant and such? Bonuis points for not being murderized by the baddies, so yes.

(And then situations like that just keep happening?)

Fast forward a few years to where they end up in Los Santos or working with.for the same agency as the smoochee(s) and it’s suuuuuper awkward?

Because, like.

Some of the smoochees totally remember and are either awkward about it themselves or lol, I remember you and turn it into this inside joke between them?

Also, though?

Please consider the fact that those smooches? Actually very good, and there was this initial bit of attraction that clearly didn’t o anywhere at the time, but now they’re in the same crew/working together and all that.

Learning to trust one another and - sometimes literally - putting their lives in the other’s hands.

Good days and bad, friendship forming and all that and suddenly it’s this advanced case of oh,no, he’s hot because wow, yes?

And then mutual pining and the whatnot that eventually ends in more smooching and such.

BUT ALSO.

The smoocher  having realizing that they’re now working with people they smooched tactically while running for their lives?

All haha, well that’s a funny story, really, when someone asks how they met and all that since they seem to know one another already?

But instead of the one love interest, it’s all of the smoochees.

All of whom, btw, are like, hmm, interesting at realizing they have being smooched tactically by the smoocher in common?

And while they start off with this friendly wooing fest once directed at the smoocher once hey realize they’ve gone and caught feelings for them after working together for a while?

Little dates and the whatnot with the smoocher who is ??? but also kind of :DDDDD at it because it’s all weirdly adorable and also sweet and just. Nice? The smoocher trying not to think too far ahead because they like all the woo-ers and having to choose is an awful thing to think about, so they just make the most of it while they can because kind of an idiot.

But then it It turns into this oh, no, they’re all hot too, going on with the various smoochees who have been getting to know one another and all that too and realizing that wow, okay, yes.

More feelings????

The smoocher is like ??? because they, too, are utterly infested with these feelings for the smoochees and fretting about having to choose between them because idiot?

And then!

Some Dramatic Series Of Events take place in which enemies from the smoocher’s past come to town and it’s action movie all the waay, including either a Heroic Sacrifice moment for the smoocher to save one or more of the smoochees or the smoocher just gets kidnapped?

Whichever one it is, the smoochess stage a rescue effort that is super successful in that the smoocher and all the smoochees survive without serious injury while the baddies end up super, duper dead or about to be in jail for the rest of their lives?

And like.

This awkward moment of who gets smooched because c’mon, you know there’s got to be a smooch after all that?

But no!

(Plot twist???)

Smoochee realizes they have too many feelings and couldn’t possibly choose one of the smoochees over the others and therefore must choose none of them to spare them emotional turmoil or whatever, idk, just typical romcom bullshittery.

ANYWAY.

Smoochee carries on like everything’s fine - and honestly, so do the smoochees - up to a point.

A few weeks, months, go by and then the smoochee starts getting flowers and other gifts popping up all over the place?

Little looks and such from the smoochees - totally suspicious, but maybe the smoocher is just paranoid?

When they ask the smoochees about it they’re all “What are you talking about?” and moments where smoocher asks one of the smoochees if they want to go catch the newest movie in that franchise they like only to be turned down.

“Oh, alright then?”

It goes on for a while and the smoocher is losing their damned mind because the gifts and whatnot keep showing up, right? The smoochees claim to know nothing about them, and also never seem to have time for them outside of work?

Smoocher thinks something has gone terribly wrong in their relationships, and just as thy finally get up the courage to ask the smoochees about it, gets invited out somewhere by one of the smoochees.

Lunch or dinner or something like that and are like thrilled at the invite/worried?

Get to the place, cute little diner or whatever, but the place is empty when they get there.

Candles and the whole shebang for a romantic meal set up in this table/booth and oh and also oh, no because complicated feelings situation?

But then!

The smoochee who invited them there shows up, rambling on about traffic being awful and sorry they’re late and -

“Is something wrong?”

Smoocher is about to say yes, because complicated feelings situation and this it lovely of them, really, but the smoocher can’t - because idiot - and of course that’s when the other smoochees show up.

Bickering and bantering about the first smoocher cheating to get there before them - took a bike that managed to get through terrible traffic jams and the whanot.

At first smoocher is like, too !!! about things to realize it’s all friendly bickering and bantering and blurts out something about this is nice, but they can’t because complicated feelings situation and they never meant to lead the smoochess on or pit them against one another to woo them and just.

A lot to unpack, because comlicated feelings situation and guilt about thinking they were leading the smoochees on, or being unfair to them and being ~greedy in wanting all the smoochees and just.

Yeah.

The smoochess staring at the smoocher, and someone being “What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

After which it comes out that the smoochees thought the smoocher knew what was going on? That the smoochees have joined forces to collectively woo the smoocher because they, too, have complicated feelings situations and also, jfc, what the hell is it like in your head?

And, like.

Talking and the being functioning adults (mostly) who know what they’re getting into with this whole...complicated feelings situation, and also, complicated, yes, but also surprisingly simple?

And then this awkward, sweet little date with all of them being way too (or maybe just the right amount?) self-conscious about things because they really, really want this relationship between them to work out and there’s so much on the line and, just.

A lot going on for a quiet little lunch in a cute cafe.

SO.

Of course someone points that out, and they laugh at themselves and all that? But the lunch date goes a little more smoothly after that, and before it ends there’s this moment of post-date smooches, Y/N?

Everyone’s in favor of there being a post-date smooch, but also akward dorks, so it ends in quick little pecks on the cheeks and furuous blushing and the like?

They all drive back to the penthouse/HQ/whatever and go back to work because middle of the day on a weekday and they’re all that kind of idiot?

Also though, also.

Little look at one another and soft smiles and laughing at themselves because idiots and dorks and maybe, okay, maybe this isn’t doomed to end badly???

Of course it’s not, and the dates continue and actual!smooches happen and it’s. Complicated, but also not, and just. Good.

Also, also, also.

Geoff and Jack and whoever else Suffering watching this horrible, RL romcom playing out before their very eyes because the smoocher and smoochees are the worst kind of idiots,, jfc. /o\

(Or they’re also smoochees because OT6 or whatever, and honestly, you know they’d be Suffering if that was the case anyway because reasons.)

[vagrantblvrd]

Oh my God, why does this sound like Gavin to me?

Like.

General hacker!Gavin AU or some such? (Also Freewood???)

I kind of want to say FAHC Gavin because Blista? But general hackerish!AU works too?

Or, like.

Sekritly A Spy/sekrit agent/hitman!Gavin (seemingly) magooing his around while spy!Ryan is becoming increasingly annoyed/frustrated/bewildered/other such emotions.

Everyone back at HQ is laughing at Ryan when he checks in all “He did it again,” and “I don’t know what’s going on anymore,” and “How,” because how the hell is Gavin doing any of this?

He’s supposed to be a civilian, okay. Ryan’s met trained spies/sekrit agents who weren’t as ~skilled.

Gavin catches Ryan skulking around one day, just “What are you doing?” and maybe a little “Are you alright?” because Ryan’s just fallen off something (a low roof, who knows) or experienced the shittiest of all shit luck in some other way and is :(((((((((((((((((((( because what is going on anymore???

And then like. Spy movie shenanigans mixed with romcom nonsense that totally leads to smooches and the whatnot, because of course they do.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[vagrantblvrd]

Okay, so.

While cross-posting various not!fic and the whatnot to AO3 for reasons I realized that something went Horribly Wrong with the formatting on a couple of them.

The cut tag I used got all messed up and nothing I did was able to fix it, and leery of re-posting them here on Tumblr for fear it would happen again, I deleted the body of the posts and put a link to their AO3 counterparts. (I’ll be doing the same with future posts until I can figure out how to fix it/if I can fix it.)

I’m incredibly sorry I didn’t catch it until now and apologize for the trouble/inconvenience it caused. I’ll do my best to be more vigilant in the future and thank you for your patience.

The posts in question:

Myansay hitman/sekrit agent AU prompt fill

Jeremavinwood 7 Days to Die AU

[vagrantblvrd]

Lol, I was just typing up a post about not being able to watch the new AH video until after my dr’s appointment this morning when her office called to let me know she’s out sick and wanted to reschedule my appointment?

But anyway.

I haven’t watched the entire thing yet, but just going by the description and brief intro/explanation

(SPOILERS FOR THINGS AND STUFF I GUESS???)

It sounds like FAHC shenanigans in which they’re prepping for a heist the right way after the fiasco that was the Diamond Casino Heist, you know?

None of this ridiculously impressive dumb little model of the heist target location, RYAN.

(...I mean, I don’t know what kind of heist would involve them needing to defuse a bomb, but maybe it’s a general preparedness kind of deal???

Or they’re just really fuckin’ bored and bomb defusal is a common hobby among the crew? Who knows.)

They get Michael to mock up some bombs - glitter and confetti and pies in the face instead of fiery exposlions, but they haven’t done anything to piss him off enough to want them actually dead - watch out though, or that might change, assholes.

Or he and the others are gonna be gone/busy and know better than to leave these idiots alone with nothing to keep them occupied, so bomb defusing shenanigans?

OR.

Sekrit agent/spy/hitmens AU where they’re running through training exercises and this is either hazing Jeremy the rookie or Making Things More Interesting.

(And y’know, hazing him.)

Either way it’s got a major Jerevinwood feel to it I’m loving. XD

So, uh.

Yeah.

Also, later on in their wacky antics and running into a Real Bomb on a heist/job in the FAHC AU and being like “Well, shit,” because sure they’ve trained for this but still, a bomb, you know? Not fun.

The same with the sekrit agent/spy/hitmens AU but probs in sharp tuxes or suits and quips and one-liners and idk, I gotta go but you get the picture.

[vagrantblvrd]

speaking of selfindulgent stuff what's the most selfindulnt fic you've written?

Oh, friend, that would have to be everything I’ve ever written because wow, but uh. For now, here are some goodies I love most. (At this moment in time, because I’m indecisive as hell.)

There’s the werecats AU thing (because werecats???)

Destiny 1 and Destiny 2 AUs (because Destiny and my love/obsession/addiction to the universe/games like whoa.)

Stargate AU because ~nostalgia…and the thought of these idiots exploring the galaxy/universe and with ALL the core tropes of Stargate fandom. (Myan, Alfreyco, and others TBD.)

The whole…Crinkle Dot debacle??? (I mean, EMT Michael dealing with idiot Vagabond and crew, amirite?)

Anything Myan at this point since writing the above series had me fall hard for the pairing. (Creature Feature and Rise Up are recent Myan faves I’ve written, because hapless vampire!Ryan and werebear!Michael respectively???)

ALSO because apparently I have a Thing for bounty hunter!Michael there’s Hard Way Home (Myan ridiculousness), Chasing the Sun (Mavin ridiculousness), and Better than a Dream (Mavin ridiculousness with a ~twist.)

Everything Under the Sun that’s got the werewolves and other assorted suburban fantasy Things, because of course it does.

Oooh, and for ultimate ridic romcom shenanigans there’s Brighter than the Sun which is just far too many words of Freewood nonsense??? Also, Woven Threads where Ryan and Gavin flirt in all the wrong ways - because murder games - only super way less Dark and Edgy than it sounds???

For legit Angst™ purposes there’s A Place So Dark, which is Mavin and loosely based on a terribad 80s movie and like. A bit from a GTA V Let’s Play that was less than a minute long my brain latched onto that I swear I’ll update someday. (Main character death, but they get better, idk, there’s some supernatural fuckery going on with that one and the mcd is offscreen/referenced so there’s that, I guess???)

Any/all sekrit agent/spy AUs because I grew up on cheesy television/movies and cannot get enough. /o\ (Various pairings/ships because I love this shit.)

Oooh 2.0, I almost forgot? But like. I have this major love for Ramwood.

That Kind of Comfortable is just. Total nonsense in FAHC AU with P.I. Geoff and Vagabond!Ryan and also Trevor is there making Geoff’s life miserable, but mostly soft idiots in lurve. :D???

Heart Like an Anchor with hapless idiot Ryan and Geoff and other assorted hapless idiots in the FAHC AU? (Ramwood with Jeremichael…and possible Jeremavin if I ever get my act together and finish the thing.)

There’s also a whole lot of nonsense and ridiculousness going on in Building Blocks which is my not-fic dumping ground that has various ships/pairings and such.

…as you can see, ALL the things I write would fall under the self-indulgent umbrella of ridiculousness???

:D????????????????????

EDIT: More self-indulgent Freewood stuffs if anyone’s ~interested. :D?