#seoah — verse iii.

[fadinglights]

@protcsts​

only  two  days  after  her  return  to  the  city  she  took  a  break  from,  seoah  is  already  working  into  the  night  for  her  latest  drama  project  —  the  identity  of  her  co-star  not  yet  revealed  to  the  lover  she  only  just  reunited  with  two  weeks  ago.  she  tries  her  best  to  keep  all  movements  as  quiet  as  possible,  a  smile  brightening  her  tired  features  once  she  spots  the  familiar  silhouette  in  her  living  room.  with  light  steps,  she  drops  her  bag  to  the  coffee  table  and  bends  over  to  press  a  kiss  on  his  forehead,  only  for  her  to  mentally  slap  herself  when  she  accidentally  wakes  him.  “hey  there.”  she  whispers,  her  tone  apologetic  before  it  turns  playful.  “you  should  be  in  bed  —  or  is  my  sofa  that  comfortable?”

[nouvelis]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑    𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒    /    PAK    SEOAH    —    VERSE    III.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟏    :    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄  

NAME: pak seoah.

EYE COLOUR: dark brown.

HAIR STYLE /COLOUR: dark brown, almost black. usually in soft wavy curls with wispy bangs.

HEIGHT:  164cm. 

CLOTHING STYLE: usually light colours, white matched with pastel or something floral. most often seen in a lacy, silky blouse/top with a mini skirt or dresses. 

BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: her smile! i mean, just look at this baby.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟐    :    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄    

FEARS: being unloved and/or abandoned. not amounting to anything at all. to have hurt others unintentionally.

GUILTY PLEASURE: eating a carton of ice cream on her days off while binge-watching cheesy romantic comedies, strawberry is her favourite. drinking a little too much sometimes. writing songs about things and people she should have gotten over, then having to sing them over a long period of time, hence forever reliving the heartache :^)

BIGGEST PET PEEVE: people who are unnecessarily malicious for no reason ( e.g. rude to service workers ), those who outsource their foul mood onto others that do not deserve it

AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE: to continue making music. she just loves to write and sing, to provide a safe space and connect with those who listen, awards are only the cherry on top ( though she worries a lot about albums flopping, she just loves her job a lot )

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟑    :    𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒   

FIRST THOUGHTS WAKING UP: “can i sleep for another five minutes?”

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT MOST: lyrics and melodies. lost friends and loves. her next trip to somewhere no one recognises her. her last performance and ways to improve her artistry.

WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED: pretty words and pretty tunes. things to work on the next day. ghosts from the past. things and learnings she just wrote down in her journal. people she’s wronged and those who have wronged her.

WHAT THEY THINK THEIR BEST QUALITY IS: her empathy.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟒    :    𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓’𝐒    𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑    ? 

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES: single. 

TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED: loved.   

BEAUTY OR BRAINS: brains. 

DOGS OR CATS: cats! she adores both, but her schedule makes it impossible to tend to pets, especially dogs that require so much attention. 

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟓    :    𝐃𝐎    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘   

 … LIE: often. it is a survival skill particularly for someone in the entertainment industry. it is never done with malice, mostly white lies to protect either herself or other people’s feelings. most of the time, she tries to be as authentic as she can be.

BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES: back then, not really, right now, most of the time. every night before sleep, she writes down things that warm her heart or make it ache in her journal. during harder times, she likes the revisit the kind words from her friends to remind herself of what she’s really doing it for.

BELIEVE IN LOVE: yes. still a hopeless romantic at heart despite how much it hurts.

WANT SOMEONE: yes, she is a creature of want. falls in love easily with the things around her. the first snow, the fresh smell of roses from the market, the kindness of strangers. falls in love hard and deep, does not know how to detach easily, often lets it consume her. she’d rather feel too much than not at all. 

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟔    :    𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘    𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑    … 

BEEN ON STAGE: yes, it is her job to share her sweetest smiles and deepest wounds on stage. her line of work is an oxymoron in itself, having to be both vulnerable on stage yet tough enough off it to not crumble from criticisms.

DONE DRUGS: no. gets offered often enough, turns it down with a polite smile every time. the thought of potentially losing control over her own actions is rather terrifying.

CHANGED WHO THEY WERE TO FIT IN: in her younger years, yes, especially when she found it hard to fit in with the other trainees in the beginning, fortunately she found her crowd soon enough. later in her career, not really, since she has grown more confident in who she is and what she has to offer to the world. 

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟕    :    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒    

FAVOURITE COLOUR: the rosé of sunsets.

FAVOURITE ANIMAL: nightingales. small, seemingly fragile things with strong voices.  

FAVOURITE BOOK: lately it’s vegetarian by han kang.

FAVOURITE GAME: n/a.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟖    :    𝐀𝐆𝐄    

DAY THEIR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE: 11 november, 2021. 

HOW OLD WILL THEY BE: 24.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟗    :    𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄   

I LOVE: wholeheartedly.

I FEEL: everything.

I HIDE : only what i must.

I MISS: feeling at ease.

I WISH: to be understood.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘   /   @phantombs ( thank you ❤️ )

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆   /   @synthes     @noctevita    @bckdoors     @cvvalier     @chaosgrieves    @celestiialmechanics    @spoiledsovls     @solisocasum    @indeath    @theyrisen

[fadinglights]

continued from here, @protcsts

“don’t  tell  me  what  to  do,  baby.”  she’s  missed  this.  how  effortless  things  are  between  them,  no  trying  required.  it  is  one  of  the  many  perks  of  being  in  love  with  a  best  friend,  someone  who  knows  her  thoroughly  on  every  possible  level.  no  words  need  to  be  spoken  when  they  know  everything  by  heart.  she  can  recall  how  apprehensive  she  was  about  love  and  intimacy  when  she  first  met  him,  too  wounded  to  allow  herself  to  be  so  vulnerable  again.  it  was  him  who  made  her  change  her  mind.  it  was  him  who  made  her  feel  safe  enough  to  drop  all  her  defences  and  surrender  again.  surrender  to  love.  surrender  to  every  breathtaking  thing  it  brings.  it  is  almost  embarrassing,  to  be  so  overcome  by  emotions  in  a  moment  of  passion,  but  sex  with  him  has  never  been  just  that.  there  is  so  much  affection  to  every  touch,  every  push  and  pull  between  them.  she  cannot  resist  her  smile  when  he  flips  them  around  only  to  hold  her  close.  closer,  closer  —  she  would  melt  into  him  if  she  could,  be  carried  in  his  heart  whenever  he  goes.  the  following  words  only  make  it  worse,  each  whisper  fraught  with  so  much  devotion  —  she  is  hopeless,  hopelessly  in  love  with  him.  pink  lips  find  the  corner  of  his  mouth,  hand  on  his  cheek  that  burns  as  brightly  as  hers.  “stop  trying  to  make  me  cry.”  she  protests  and  means  none  of  it  —  she  loves  him  just  like  this,  honest  and  bare  for  her.  every  part  that  they  have  hidden  from  the  rest  of  the  world  is  laid  bare  in  front  of  each  other  without  fear,  not  even  a  flicker.  she  loses  herself  to  the  tender  kisses,  only  for  her  to  stumble  when  the  quickened  rhythm  sends  another  surge  of  bliss  through  her.  “fuck,  yes.”  she  shifts  slightly  away  from  him  only  to  catch  her  breath,  steadying  herself  with  her  hands  gripping  his  shoulders.  it  strikes  her  again  how  ravishing  he  looks,  falling  apart  with  her.  his  sun-kissed  skin  glistening  with  sweat,  cheeks  awash  with  the  colour  of  roses  and  eyes  darkened  with  so  much  more  than  lust.  so  beautifully  gone,  irrevocably  hers.  “you’re  going  to  be  the  death  of  me.”

[fadinglights]

from  here,  accepting  / @protcsts​

 i  thought  i  could  give  you  a  better  life.  instead,  i’m  the  reason  it’s  gotten  worse…  i’m  so  sorry.  “if  you  say  that  one  more  time,  i’m  actually  going  to  be  mad  at  you.”  it  is  tragic  how  things  could  change  over  night  —  one  night  they  were  on  the  top  of  the  world,  like  they  could  not  thank  their  lucky  stars  enough  for  how  things  happened  according  to  plan,  only  for  their  dreams  to  dash  on  another.  it  is  getting  harder  and  harder  to  be  here  for  him  while  keeping  up  with  the  increasing  number  of  schedules,  but  she’d  choose  him  over  her  scarce  hours  of  sleep  anytime.  he’d  do  the  same  for  her,  wouldn’t  he?  no  questions  asked.  “you’re  not  making  anything  worse,  so  stop  apologising.  please.”  you  don’t  know  how  much  you  make  my  life  better  just  by  existing.  why  does  he  assume  that  he  should  be  discarded  when  things  get  hard?  she  may  not  be  able  to  control  whatever  wicked  schemes  the  management  is  planning  under  wraps,  but  she  is  nothing  like  them.  she’s  still  the  same  seoah  she’s  always  been,  the  same  seoah  who  stayed  awake  with  him  til  3  a.m.  to  ease  his  heavy  thoughts,  just  as  he  has  done  for  her  a  million  times  over.  she  holds  his  hand  with  her  own,  as  if  afraid  he’d  slip  away  anytime.  he  is  already  slipping  away.  if  she  could  take  all  this  pain  away  from  him,  she  would  do  it  in  a  heartbeat  regardless  of  the  cost.  she  hates  this  too.  hates  how  she  can’t  make  it  better  for  him.  hates  watching  him  suffer  without  knowing  anything  else  she  could  do  besides  being  here.  “just  focus  on  yourself,  okay?  don’t  worry  about  me.”  she’ll  be  fine.  she’ll  be   strong  enough  for  both  of  them.  “just  let  me  be  here  for  you.  i  want  to.”

[fadinglights]

from  here,  accepting  /  @neokitsched​​

 please  don’t  look  at  me  like  that…  “stop  looking  at  you  like  what?”  like  she’s  looking  at  a  kicked  puppy  —  but  that  is  exactly  how  she  looks  at  him.  like  she’s  watching  someone  writhe  in  pain,  despite  the  disguises  he  clings  to  so  readily.  it  is  strange  how  a  man  who  easily  towers  over  her  can  look  so  small  here  when  they’re  finally  alone.  eunki  might  be  a  wonderful  actor  —  a  marvellous  one,  even  —  but  she  has  learnt  to  read  him  well  after  the  years  of  steady  friendship  and  he  is  not  fooling  her.  she’s  already  made  her  manager  clear  the  space  first,  so  it  should  be  safe  for  the  time  being,  but  one  can  never  be  too  careful  in  their  position.  people  love  talking  about  the  likes  of  them  a  little  too  much,  the  shining  stars  and  their  made-up  dalliances.  their  names  passed  around  as  post-dinner  entertainment  in  whispers  and  giggles.  as  if  they’re  only  caricatures  from  their  imagination,  instead  of  real  people  with  breakable  bones.  as  if  they’re  less  human  than  them,  as  if  the  toxicity  is  something  they  should  tolerate  in  peace  just  because  of  their  chosen  career.  it  would  not  be  the  first  time  the  pair  of  friends  are  rumoured  to  be  dating  and  god  knows  eunki  does  not  need  more  hungry  eyes  on  him  now.  with  another  glance  shot  over  her  shoulders,  she  shuts  the  door  close  before  her  gaze  returns  to  him.  it  is  warm  and  full  of  concern  —    you  don’t  have  to  lie  to  me.  “a  hug?”  her  gaze  briefly  wanders  to  the  bottle  of  wine  on  the  coffee  table,  already  laid  out  for  their  convenience.  “  —  or  a  drink?  you  look  like  you  could  use  a  bit  of  both.”

[nouvelis]

◈

mun related, accepting.

◈ — share some headcanons that you have for a muse of your choosing 

— pak seoah, verse iii.

drinks coffee daily but only the sweetest types only since she hates bitterness, only drinks black when she is absolutely exhausted but still has things to do. it gives her jitters and she doesn’t like it.

been writing songs since she’s 12, about stories she’s read in books and movies and on tv shows. sang them like she went through the heartbreak before she even had a proper first kiss :^)

usually the Mom friend who takes care of everyone and makes sure they’re well-fed and listened to. she’s the type who invites newcomers to join the conversation and ask for their opinions so they won’t feel awkward or left out.

loves flowers, used to garden a lot growing up and finds it soothing to watch seedlings grow into something pretty. would love to have a greenhouse or a nice garden in the future. dream proposal spot? a flower field, take notes c:

her most dominant love language is touch. she does it mindlessly. a hand over her lover’s when they gush about their day. head on their lap when she reads. fingers grazing when they walk together. soft kisses on cheeks, knuckles, everywhere. warm hugs when she greets her friends.