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crazyk-imagine · 2 years

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The Coffee is Not the Murder Weapon

Pairing: Shawn Spencer x Plus!size!reader Characters: Plus!size!reader (aka Beans), Shawn Spencer, Burton “Gus” Guster, Carlton Lassiter, Juliet “Jules” O’Hara, Woody, Greg (the murderer), Buzz McNab (briefly mentioned) Warnings: Mentions of guns and bullets, violence, this man Greg is crazy, coffee shops should not be a place for murder plots, Woody being “prepared”, okay plot but stay for the fluff, friends to lovers, my love for writing for these peps returns Word Count: 2,466

A/N: Bad plot but I tried, and it didn’t turn out completely horrible so yay. Yes, I’m giving myself a pat on the back, don’t judge me :p

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“Push on the gas, Lassie or else someone is going to get hurt and it’s not gonna be me,” Shawn says, his voice elevated as he thinks about what could happen.

“What’re you talking about, Spencer?”

“Shawn, calm down and tell us what’s going on,” Juliet tried to reason with him.

“No! I can’t- I- you just gave to trust me on this.”

“If you want us to trust you, you have to explain what’s going on. Do you feel something?”

“Oh my god,” Gus says, after Shawn hands him the phone. “Floor it, Lassiter!”

“Why?!”

Shawn rubs his hands across his face. “The barista did it. We were wrong about the manager being poisoned.”

Juliet furrows her brows, trying to make sense of the words flying out of the psychic’s mouth. “But Woody said-”

“He-”

“He’s calling me,” Gus announces, showing his friend the phone.

Shawn quickly snatches it out of his buddy’s hand, answering it.

“Shawn, you’ll never believe the story I overheard last night when I was at the bar. So, this girl, who was close to turning thirty, although I think she was lying. Anyway, she was saying-”

“The barista did it with one of those skinny tongue depressors.”

“Yes! It never ceases to amaze me how well your skills are.”

The psychic tosses the phone up in the air for his friend to catch.

“Sounds like we have the right to arrest someone.” Carlton speeds up, maneuvering himself, safely, between cars. “Where am I going, Spencer?”

“Where do you think?”

“If I knew, do you think I’d be asking you?”

“The coffee shop. Beans told me she had a shift, and our killer does too. She put it together before my visions became clearer. If we don’t get there within the next five minutes, it’s going to be a manhunt and I’ll be the first in line.”

“We’re not going to let anything happen to her,” Juliet tells him.

“I’ll believe it when I can see that she’s safe.”

“Sha-”

“We’re here. Spencer, I’m only going to say this once and only once. Do not and I mean, do not go in there.”

“But, I can-”

“No,” Carlton tells him before he and Juliet rush out of the car, standing by the front door with their guns in front of them before they sneak into the building.

“I’m going in.”

“Oh, no you are not,” Gus slams his hand onto the door lock.

“Yes, I am.”

“Sha- Shawn.” Gus makes the noise people typically make when trying to call a cat over, “psst. Psst. Shawn, no.” He gets out of the car when he realizes his friend isn’t going to follow him back towards the safety.

The two make their way into the building, sneaking through the front door, only pausing when they hear a strange noise.

“Are we really going to go in there, Shawn? I mean, what if he has a gun or some other weapon?”

“That’s when you selflessly throw yourself in front of our bad guy while I, the hero, save the day.”

“I don’t like that plan.”

“Well, it’s the only one I have so far.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Fine, it’s not but this one makes us both look like heroes.”

“I understand why you’re making jokes, but we need a real plan if we want to make sure Beans doesn’t get hurt.”

The psychic sighs, “I know, Gus.” He leans off the wall, glancing back over his shoulder. “I have a plan.”

“What is it?”

“You stay here and I’m gonna make a distraction.”

“Okay- wait! What?” He turns around, finding his friend nowhere near him. “Dammit Shawn.”

Shawn walks around the corner, hearing clattering coming from the back and rushes forward only for you to duck behind the counter.

“Shawn?” You stare at him with furrowed brows. “Duck. Duck.”

“Duck?” He dives to the floor when bullets come flying through the door, breaking the glass window. He wraps his arms around you, covering your head as he pulls you closer, making sure nothing happens to you.

Once the firing stops, you lift your head off his shoulder.

“Do you know the way out of here?” He whispers.

“We won’t make it without being seen. Why are you here alone?”

“I remembered you told me this place has a really weird back entrance, so it takes a few minutes to get in here. If we stall him long enough, then maybe we can make it out of this alive while Lassie and Jules do their thing.” He stops talking and becomes quiet. “I have an idea.”

“You are not going to try and make a conversation with him. Are you?”

“It’s called a distraction.”

“A terrible one, at that.”

“I could do it.”

You glance over his shoulder.

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

You gulp, nodding. Your former coworker, Greg, grabs your arm, yanking you away from your friend.

“Hey. Hey! Let her go.”

Greg shakes his head, “no, I don’t think I will.” He forces you into the nearest chair.

“You don’t need to need to manhandle Beans like that.”

“It’s her fault.”

“What’s her fault?”

“Ruining my plan and you, the psychic coming around wasn’t any help either.”

“It sounds like you have a problem with me and not-”

He waves the gun around in Shawn’s face. “You stay over there. She stays here.”

You tense up at the feeling of the metal on the back of your head.

He nods. “I’m staying over here. You don’t need to keep waving the gun around.”

“Santa Barbara PD, drop your weapon,” Carlton says, keeping his attention on Greg.

“I don’t think I will.”

“You sure you want to do that?”

“Why not? I’ve got a hostage right here,” he steps to the side, letting the officer get a view of your back.

“Let the civilians go so we can talk.”

“No,” he clicks the trigger of the gun.

You close your eyes, trying not to shake as you hear everything going on behind you.

“No,” Shawn takes a step closer, and everyone’s focus turns onto him. “Remember it was me. I’m the psychic, I know why you did it. He wasn’t giving you the proper respect, right? And he should have, you’re the one who made sure everything ran smoothly around here especially when he would take his sporadic trips. You did everything he should have done and he- he-”

“He was gonna fire me and give my job to Janet, but she put it in her two weeks’ notice after that and then she,” he spits in your direction. “Was the next one.”

“And, you believe she would have taken your job without hesitation?”

Greg nods.

Shawn nods before he starts to chuckle. “And that’s when you need to listen or pay attention to all employees because she’s a very kind woman who would never do that and I’m lucky to know... that took a minor detour, I’ll admit but it just proves that she isn’t what you created in your mind.”

“Are you done?” Carlton asks.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.”

That’s all the detective needed to hear as he takes another step forward. “Let her go.”

“I don’t think I will.”

“Greg.”

“What are you doing?” Shawn whispers.

“Do you know why our boss would take sudden trips?”

“Yeah. He’s a greedy bastard who wants to blow away his money.”

“No, his wife is sick, and she’s been in a home that specializes with her condition. She has her good days and her bad days, so when it’s not looking good, he rushes over there in case it’s going to be his last time with her.”

“Really?” He jerks your arm. “How do you know?”

“He told me because I found him crying in the storage closet when it was my turn to close the shop a few months ago. He trusted you, that’s why he was confident with you being in charge.”

He lowers his hand.

Shawn sees the way you’re eyeing your coworker and shakes his head.

Greg drops his gun.

You take this as your opportunity to run away from him before anything else could happen.

Shawn pushes you behind him.

Juliet and Lassiter do their thing, arresting him just as Gus rushes in, holding a broom as his weapon of choice.

“Nice timing, Guster,” Carlton tells him as he passes by to put the, now, arrested man in the nearest squad car, which of course happens to be Buzz’s.

“Is he gone?”

“Yes, Gus. He’s gone, you can stop now.”

The frightened man takes notice of the scene and slowly sets the broom down before sniffing as he wipes his nose. “I knew that; I was just testing you.”

“No, you weren’t,” you chime in.

“I’m gonna let that slide for right now.”

“You’re so nice, Gus.” You groan, holding your side. “I think it’s time for me to get checked out.”

Two paramedics run in, asking which of three needs to be checked out.

All three of you answer, informing the gentleman that it’s you. Once they make sure you’re all good, they give you one last recommendation to get a full check up at the hospital to make sure you’re all good and don’t have any underlying injuries they may not have caught.

You wave them off, “yeah, yeah,” your words fine out slurred before you pass out.

The whole way there, everyone was worried about you, Shawn more than the others.

Henry walks into the room, placing a hand on his boy’s shoulder. “When was the last time you left the room?”

“Not once.”

“You need to eat something, Shawn.”

The psychic doesn’t say anything else.

“You know, you need to eat something if you want to confess to her.”

“Confess what?”

“I raised you better than to play dumb, Shawn.”

The younger man gets up out of his seat. “Fine, so maybe I do know what you’re talking about but why would I-”

“Shawn.”

“No, no. Don’t distract me.”

“Shawn.”

“Why are you-”

“Shawn.”

“What?”

Henry sighs and spins his son around, leaving his boy to get the girl.

“Oh, you’re up.”

“I am.”

He grabs the water by your bed and holds for you.

“I can drink water on my own.”

He nods, slowly placing the cup in your hands.

“How are you?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

You set the cup down onto the table. “You could but, you’re antsy and an antsy Shawn isn’t a good Shawn.”

“Funny.”

“Usually, you’d have some witty comeback when I say things like that, what’s going on in your head?”

“You could have died.”

“But I didn’t.”

“But you could have.”

“I didn’t though.”

“But… you could have and- and-”

You slowly push yourself up, reaching out for his hand, bringing him closer.

He’s careful as he sits down beside you.

“What would have happened, if it did happen? Can you find it in you to explain that bit to me?”

“You mean, other than the fact that the woman I’ve been in love with since we were kids would be dead, not much.”

“Wha-” Your jaw drops.

“I wouldn’t have been able to come up with a clever plan and pretend like I didn’t know how it happened even though you know when I’m lying.”

“So, what you’re saying is you like me and you want to ask me out?” You ask, a sly smile dancing across your lips.

“Maybe.”

“Good.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep.”

“I feel like there’s something else you have planned.”

“Yeah, you’re gonna go find my doctor, ask when I can leave so then you can take me out on our date and fall asleep on my couch.”

This is the first time he’s smile since this morning, and it feels great. “Don’t move.”

“I won’t.”

Woody rushes in with a black bag.

You raise a brow. “Did you really think I was dead?”

“Wha- oh this,” he points to the bag. “No, no. I was just- I thought I needed to be prepared.”

“Get out.”

“I’m the one who brought the flowers.” He points with a weak smile.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful but get out.”

“Yep, got it.” Woody manages to move out of the way before he could bump into Shawn and your doctor and continues to run out of the building.

You and Shawn had a wonderful time getting dinner (with Gus driving so you could pick up the food) and dropping you guys off at your place (after being told he wasn’t invited).

“If I’m not a part of this date, why did I drive you two to go pick up jerk chicken?”

Shawn shrugs, “sorry, buddy.”

You jab your elbow into his side, “I don’t know. I’m sorry, he used you. How about tomorrow we all go out and get breakfast before we head over to the station?”

“Thank you, I think that would be a great idea.” Gus doesn’t move from his spot.

“Do you want to take some for the road?”

“This is why I like you.”

“You’ve liked me being around since we met, I used to pretend you weren’t involved in whatever it was he,” you point to Shawn. “Was doing so you wouldn’t get suspended.”

“And that’s exactly why I’m happy he’s partially your problem now.” He takes his napkin wrapped portions and waves you two off before he leaves.

“Can we go upstairs now? It’s getting cold.”

“Quite whining and maybe you’ll get a blanket.”

He leans against the doorway as he waits for you to pull out your keys. “Is there anyway, I could persuade you?”

The doorknob clicks, you open the door and smile at him. “No.”

“I think you’re lying.”

“Your psychic abilities tell you that?”

“Maybe.”

You roll your eyes and step inside. “Come on, I’m hungry and I’m not afraid to take the food from you.”

“But then you’d have a starving man in your home, rummaging through your fridge searching for a pineapple.”

“I’m not afraid to take that risk.”

“Rude.”

You chuckle, “hurry up and get over here. We can watch a movie.”

“I’m getting us some drinks. I can’t die of thirst after fulfilling my need of food.”

“Okay.”

“And here is your drink,” he sets them down on the coffee table. “And your food.”

You practically snatch the food from him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I mean… for everything that’s happened.”

He settles on the couch beside you, turning for you to see his soft smile. “I know.”

You shake your head. “You’re so cocky.”

“Only for you.”

“I feel like I should be ending things here.”

“But you’re not. You love me too much.”

“Shush and watch the movie.”

He smiles to himself, knowing he’s made you all flustered.

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