#she also asked why i am honest on my meal check in sheets in iop and i told her its because lying is pointless and honesty is
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"I feel like you're desperately holding onto your ed" that's because I am. next question.
#cw// ed#iop again#had a chat about how i am unwilling to do the work which is always fun to hear#and i was like 'that makes me feel like a lost cause' and g said 'youre not though! i just cant do this for you.'#also ive been in iop for two months and my weight is the same. idk how i managed that. except also i do.#i convince myself that living like this is sustainable and that i dont need to change#and i have no evidence telling me otherwise#g asked if i wanted to stop working on my ed and just do anxiety work and i told her id probably relapse if i did that#she also asked why i am honest on my meal check in sheets in iop and i told her its because lying is pointless and honesty is#the right thing to do#she said it sounds like a cry for help and i said maybe it is#i honestly dont know what i want or what im doing#i hate this
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