#she decided to … borrow. a portable washing machine

[john-marshall]

I need to piss and get in the shower for an appointment in an hour. my roommate has been in the bathroom for 15 minutes

[redhatmeg]

RedHatMeg’s Guide on Gyro Gearloose - Part 1: Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories

Considering that most of the time I have hard time finding stories with my favorite Duckverse character, I put upon myself to catalogue as much Gyro goodies, as possible

Let’s start with Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories, since this is the place where Gyro showed for the first time, namely in issue 140, in a short story where Donald and his nephews are following Gladstone Gander to find the source of his luck. On page 6, Gladstone encounters Gyro hopping on the pogo stick.

In next issue we have more proper introduction to Gyro and the main story is about him testing his Thinking Box on forest animals; and about Donald trying to discourage his nephews from hanging around with the inventor.

Then - for the rest of the fifties - Gyro pops up in WDCS only couple of times: in 152 (as an inventor of talking dog), 171 (where him purposedly hitting his head to find solution for the problem is introduced) , 199 (where Gyro puts Donald and his nephews in the machine that sends them to far out places imagined by Donald), 201 (where Gyro and Donald accidently cause Duckburg’s water to turn red) and 212 (where Donald and triplets are Gyro’s pilots in rocket race around the world). In the Mickey Mouse three-parter Fantastic Fog, Gyro is first mentioned to go missing, then in part two and three Mickey and Goofy are working out to rescue him from his kidnappers. In Knights of the Flying Sleds, Huey, Dewey and Louie are using Gyro’s eponymous sleds to perform knighty deeds. In The Village Blacksmith our favorite inventor is one of three customers of Donald Duck, the blacksmith.  Gyro plays minor roles in Balloonatics, Missle Fizzle and another Mickey three-parter, The Moon-Blot Plot, however, the issue 247 can be considered special - not only does Gyro appear the second episode of aformantioned three-parter, but also has a role in The Madcap Mariner; and stars in his own story, It Takes Two To Tangle.

From now on Gyro Gearloose starts to appear more often, many times in his won stories, here they are:

- Stranger Than Fiction (Donald uses Gyro’s transporting device to play prank of triplets, but it goes wrong.)

- Cought in the act (a rivaling inventor sabotages Gyro’s futuristic playground. Gyro decided to get to the bottom of this.)

- The Rescue Robot (Gyro invents a robot that reacts to people calling for help. The machine is idesigned to save drawning people, but - unfortunately - catches calls of people who are not drawning.)

- The Travel-Egg (Gyro, tired of his old car, decides to create new transporting device, in the shape of egg.)

- Jet Witch (Duckburg decides to organize “safe Halloween”. Unfortunately, Donald doesn’t get around to learn anything and he’s paranoid on Halloween night. It also so happens that Gyro is testing his newest invention - jet broomstick.)

- The Kitty-Car (Gyro tests his car, fueled by static from petted cat.)

- Expert in Exile (A small cameo - Gyro is one of many Duckburgians sending Ludwig von Drake on “vacation”.)

- The Double-Jointed Pointer (Gyro invites a machine that points where petroleum is. Beagle Boys are interested in using it.)

- All Invented Out (Thinking that he invented everything Duckburgians would need, Gyro moves to his hometown, Dullburg. Unbeknownst to him, Beagle Boys move to Dullburg too.)

- Almost a Leprechaun (Gyro’s machine calculating profits and taxes for Scrooge McDuck malufanctions. It turns out there are two veangeful leprechauns inside, hell-bend on ruining Scrooge for stealing their emerald.)

- Bubble Trouble (Gyro invents unpoppable bubbles.)

- Magic Rug Bug (Gyro creates rug that floats.)

- Budget Binge (Because he always has problems managing his money, Gyro creates budget managing computer. Unfortunately, the machine seems to be very strict.)

- Up and Atom (This time Gyro invents an “almost invisible paint” - a paint that makes object invisible when it passes certain speed. Beagle Boys want to use it.)

- The Life of the Party (Gyro makes himself an alien costume for a costume party. Unfortunately, it’s a bit too convincing.)

- Survival Kit Crisis (Gyro’s newest invention is a survival kit. He goes to the woods to test it, but meets two thugs, who complicate things.)

- Wayward Washer (Grandma Duck enlists Gyro’s help to solve the problem of washing cows.)

- The Monkey from Mars (Gyro tests theory about monkeys being able to write all every book ever written, while typing randomly on the typing machine. Huey, Dwey and Louie play prank on him.)

- The Beanie Brain (Gyro invents hat that enhences IQ of the wearer. He tests it on Donald, who can’t wait to show it to triplets.)

- Do Not Disturb (Tired of salesemen knocking to his door, Gyro asks Practical Pig for advice and upgrades his security system.)

- The Sneeze Machine (Scrooge McDuck urges Gyro to find cheap soruce of energy. Gyro decides to harness the power of sneeze.)

- Weather or Not (Gyro builds a weather machine. At first it’s to water plants, but then he tests it in the city. It doesn’t end well.)

- Duckburg Pet Parade (Gyro has there a small cameo as a contestant with a camel.)

- The Chicken Caper (Beagle Boys discover that Gyro created a giant robot chicken that eats money and multiplies it. The bandits decide to steal it.)

- The No-Snap Trap (When Beagle Boys learn Gyro Gearloose created a diamond, they decide to steal it. One of Beagles found out about Pluto serving as a delivery boy to the inventor, so the bandits plan to follow the dog and get the diamond from him.)

- Battle of Petras (Scrooge wants to get Battle of Petras Penny - a coin king Salamander the Great ordered to make to commemorate his victory. Gyro has one of the pennies and he said he obtained it by time travel. He lends his time wehicle to Scrooge and Donald, so they can get their own coin.)

- Trapped on Wreckers Reef (A Mickey Mouse three-parter: While fishing on the lake that is really calm lately, Mickey and Goofy get from Gyro a prototype of a portable wind-maker. Dishoners scavangers see the machine and decide to kidnap Gyro and force him to make one for them, so they can purposely wreck ships on the lake and charge people for towing them to the shore.)

- Rascoe the Robot (Gyro’s newest invention is a robot that can act on picking up thoughts. The inventor decides to test it by going through the not-so-safe part of Duckburg.)

- Fun Director (Once again Gyro has only minor role here: Donald is hired by Scrooge as a fun director and at some point takes from Gyro his engineless rocket.)

- Treasure Island A-Yo-Ho (In this retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel Gyro Gearloose plays the role of doctor Livesey.)

- The Wishing Well (Gyro tests a wishing well he built for one of his customers and gets transported into jungle.)

- The Wizard of Bahs (In this retelling of Wizard of Oz Daisy Duck’s house gets taken by a tornado and lands on the property of evil witch. Now Daisy has to convince the titular wizard - played by Gyro - to help her move her house before down or she will be cursed by the witch.)

- The Last Laugh (Tired of Beagle Brats laughing at his messy hair, Gyro is on for some revange.)

- Ting-Along Trouble (Being one of people with delicate nervous systems, Gyro gets easily spooked by loud ring of the phone. Therefore he decides to modify his phone to give him a light tap on the back whenever someone calls... This story is also the first appearance of Gyro’s nephew, Newton Gearloose.)

- The Trouble with Thudder (Newton sees his uncle throwing something into the lake. He soon discovers it’s a chemical which one drop gives any object enormous weight. Newton decides to look for good use of the substance, and soon angry Dcukburgians come to complain to Gyro.)

- The Real Cool Canoe (Due to canoe date going... not-so-well, Gyro builds a boat that both sails itself and plays on the guitar, Unfortunately, the boat malufunctions... This is a story in which Gyro’s girlfriend, Matilda, shows up for the first time.)

- The Unbirthday Birthday (Madame Mim uses magic to summon guests - Gyro included - for her birthday party.)

- Project: Fresh Air (Because of heavy smog in the Duckburgian atmosphere, Scrooge McDuck enlist Gyro’s help to find a way to put fresh air in the can and sell it to the public.)

- Fisherman’s Luck (After encountering an unlucky fisherman, Gyro creates a formula that attracks fish.)

- Fail Guy (Gyro createst a mechanical doppelganger to deal with angry customers.)

- The Case of a Shrinking Money (The Duckburg Council isn’t happy with the way square and ugly Money Bin presents itself so on Scrooge’s request, Gyro createst a way to shrink the Bin. Beagle Boys use this opportunity to steal Scrooge’s money.)

- Witch Bait (Madame Mim blackmails Gyro to modernize her broomstick.)

- Genius Go-Getter (Madame Mim has a crash on Gyro Gearloose and decides to get his attention by becoming an inventor herself.)

- The Go-Go Mobile (Gyro invents a new super-fast car. Donald borrows it to get to Italy and help Pinocchio, who sent duck the distress call.)

- Trapped in Time (another Mickey Mouse multi-chapter comic: On their way to Minnie Mouse party, Mickey and Goofy visit Gyro, who shows them his new space vehicle. Accidenlty the inventor gets thrown into space and our heroes have to use the older space vehicle to go after him. Due to some complications they get trapped in time.)

- Monster of the Deep (Gyro employs Donald to be his Bubblyscope pilot, while he would be exploring seas and looking for sunken treasures. Together they go underwater, but find odd creatures there.)

- Mr. Turner and the Magnarope (Gyro creates Mr. Turner - a robot that turns the skipping rope - for Daisy’s nieces.)

- The Reluctant Tycoon (Donald is forced to do business for Uncle Scrooge. Thanks to Gyro’s latest invention, some of Scrooge’s shrewdness is transferred into Donald’s brain. Soon Huey, Dewey and Louie decide to ask Gyro to reverse it.)

- The Lion Trackers (During Grant Annual Track Meet of the Junior Woodchucks, Huey, Dwey and Louie settle for tracking the lion in the Duckburgian woods. They find Gyro, who escaped to the forest to prevent his rival, Emil Eagle, from stealing his inventions.)

- Gyro’s Happy Invention (A short, written story - Gyro creates a machine that makes people happy.)

- Posty vs. Lampy (Jealous of Gyro’s latest invention - a walking lamp - his walking mailpost wants to fight.)

- Flight of the Dragon (another Mickey Mouse three-parter, this time Mickey and Goofy find a weird egg on the beach. Soon a dragon hatches from it and Mickey needs to know where the egg came from. In part two of the comic, Gyro joins them.)

- Gyro Goes for a Dip (Gyro wants to use in his new pool, but since he’s not a very good swimmer, he doesn’t want his neighbors to see him with water wings. So he decides to invent a way to keep himself afloat.)

- The Chipmunk-Mobile (Gyro enlist Chip and Dale to work in his new chipmunk-powered car.)

- Gyro’s Manicycle (Another short story - Scrooge McDuck is enraged by being stack in the traffic. Huey, Dewey and Louie ask Gyro to find a solution and he just so happens to have an invention for that.)

- Mailbox Baffler (During one slow afternoon, Gyro decides to take his mobile mailbox on the walk.)

- The Helping Hands (Because of a minor accident resulting in an explosion, Gyro attaches addition mechanical arms to himself.)

- Footloose Furniture (During soccer match, Gyro’s mechanical furniture gets carried away.)

- The Fiendish Furniture (To interest a wealthy investor in his inventions, Gyro invites him and his wife for dinner. During demonstration, Gyro’s mechanical furniture malufanctions.)

- The Rain Hat (Gyro creates a hat with an umbrella. Everything is fine, until wind blows him far away.)

- The Dream Duplicator (Gyro’s newest invention is a machine that makes dreams into reality. Soon a nightmare metrializes itself in inventor’s house.)

- Operation Cackoo (Gyro makes the cackoo in his cackoo clock more free. The mechanical bird is grabbed by the cat.)

- Backfire (Scared of burglars stealing his inventions, Gyro makes couple of anti-burglar devices. It backfires, when he accidently finds himself outside.)

- The Madball Pitcher (There is a baseball match between Northern and Southern Duckburg. Since he was a pretty decent pitcher in school, Northeners enlist Gyro to their team.Because he’s a bit rusty, Gyro makes bats that are attracting balls, but everything complicates when Southeners’ pitchers gets injured and they decide to force Gyro to play for them.)

- Mixed-Up Mixer (Grandma Duck asks Gyro to make a dam on a lake. Gyro brings his new concrete mixer.)

- The Bear Tamer (Gladstone Gander asks Gyro to help him to be elected The Royal Order of Horseshoe’s King of Luck by taming a bear. Gyro invents a cologne that prevents bear from biting Gladstone.)

- Buffloed by Buffloes (Duckburg sends Gyro to modernize Farbakishan.)

- Mighty but Miserable (One of the Beagle Boys get kicked out from the family and forces Gyro to make him smart. Gyro does it, but the effect is temporal, so it’s only a metter of time before the Beagle Boy comes back, therefore Gyro decides to make himself superstrong. It soon bakcfires.)

- Fishing Mystery (Duckburgian fishermen are curious about Gyro’s method of fishing.)

- The Cat Box (A cat at Gyro’s window makes a lot of noise. The inventor builds a machine that translate cat speech... This is a reprint of a story marking first appearance of Little Helper.)

- The Cube (Gyro looks for a usage of cubes he created.)

- The Sure-Fire Gold Finder (Gyro tests his newest invention - a machine that can find gold underground.)

- The Call of the Wild (Certain hunter asks Gyro to make a moose whistle that would sound like a real moose.)

- Predictor short (Gyro invents a predicting machine which predictions are always right. The tests reveal it to be a very tricky device.)

- August Accident (In search of fame, Gyro tries to invent a steam rocket ship. His invention proves to be a disaster.)

- Fish Warden (Because fish aren’t passing the jetty during their annual run up Duckburg River, the city of Duckburg enlist Gyro to help solve this mystery.)

- A Helper’s Helping Hand (The city of Chicago gives a reward to daredevils that will paint the Narrow Bridge. Gyro takes a chance, using his newest invention -  rocket belt and portable sprayer.)

- Grandma’s Present (Gyro gets tired of inventing, so he come to Grandma Duck to spend vacation on her farm. There he gets a brilliant idea for a machine making milk from dirt.)

- Snow Duster (It’s a time for a big game, but Duckburg’s stadium is covered in snow. One of Gyro’s neighbors sees him easily clearing the path to his shop with his snow dissolver, and calls the city hall. Soon Gyro is enlisted to clear the studium.)

- Finny Fun (The Duckburg Sea Carnival is coming and Gyro has to invent something for the show. He gets an idea for a wand that makes fish do tricks.)

- Oodles of Oomph (Gyro enters a boat race with a newly invented engine. Something goes wrong.)

- You Can’t Win (Gyro wants to go fishing but citizens of Duckburg urge him to use his intellect and modify the look of trees near certain Duckburgian buildings.)

- For the Birds (Gyro intented a machine that read thoughts. He tests it on a neraby bird and gets frustrated by machine’s amiguous answer.)

- Duckburg’s Day of Peril (A giant robot from the movie set breaks loose. It’s up to Gyro and Little Helper to stop him from distroying the city.)

- Man versus Machine (Tired of machines always breaking down, Gyro decides to abandon all technology and live a simple life in the wild. Too bad he gets poisoned. Little Helper to the rescue!)

- The Great Pop Up (Gyro tries to repair a toaster, which seem to have trouble popping up the toasts.)

- Posthasty Postman (Gyro is tired of inventing and so starts to work as apostman. New challanges call for inventions.)

- His Shining Hour (Gyro tries his new shoeshining machine.)

- Picnic (Since he got a lot of requests about solving picnic problems, Gyro decides to go on a picnic himself and find solutions to each and every problem.)

- Brain-Strain (Donald, Little Helper and Gyro get strainded on an uninhabitated island. Without his machines and tools, Gyro needs to find a way to save himself, Helper and Donald.)

- The Stubborn Stork (While trying to convince Scrooge McDuck to buy one of his bike-saucers, Gyro is employed to solve the problem of the stork having her nest on the Money Bin’s air vent. He and Scrooge try to find a way to remove the stork.)

- Loosing Sheep Over Nothing (Gyro has sleeping problems.)

- Dog Trouble (Gyro decides to help a poor, little doggy.)

- The Fishing Hole (Gyro is looking for a place to fish on the crownded lake.)

- Dirk Dinosour (Donald and nephews tell a story of that one time Gyro took them on the trip to the Jurassic Period.)

- Precision Painter (Gyro prepares to paint his ceiling and encounters slight disadvantage.)

- The Bicycle Thief (Encountering someone who’s bicycle was stolen for the third time, Gyro sets to invent a thief-proof bicycle.)

- The Terror of Duckburg (Gyro gives Donald a Resolution Hat - a device that helps people keep their New Year’s resolutions. From now on whenever Donald is about to lose his temper, he feels the need to sing and dance. But what happens when the Resolution Hat malufanctions?)

- The Universal Solvement (an Uncle Scrooge three-parter: On Scrooge’s demend, Gyro creates a solvement that can melt anything, aside from diamonds. Scrooge presents it to the public and recklessly purs it on the ground. Now Scrooge, Donald and nephews have to go down and gather the solvement to the diamond jar, before it reaches Earth’s core.)

- Monsterville (Gyro decides to completely modernize Duckburg, but it leaves Duckburgians without purpose.)

- Milktime Melodies (Grandma Duck asks Gyro to repair radio that was played during milking cows. He makes a new radio that works wonderfully until Little Helper gets magnetized and sticks to the radio.)

- Once and Future Duck (a Donald Duck three-parter: To safely test Gyro’s newest time-travel invension, he, Donalnd and nephews go to Stonehange. Accidentally they end up in times of real king Arthur.)

- Cave of Winds (Scrooge asks Gyro for help in securing his money. The inventor suggest exchanging the money for the bonds and hiding them, so the businessman does it. However, it turns out that hiding bonds in Aeolian Mountains wasn’t the best idea.)

- A Dolt fron the Blue (Launchpad McQuack always crashes airplanes, so Gyro shows him his new plane Zipcool 7 with foolproof anti-clash system.)

- Cought in the Cold Rush (While dusting thr snow, Donald accidently hits a lawyer specializing in accident lawsuits. The lawyer urges him to dust snow quicker, unfotrunately Donald’s shovel gets demaged and he needs a new one. Eventually Gyro lands him his new snow-melting gun.)

- The Pied Piper of Duckburg (scrooge has a problem with rats in his Money Bin and he employs Gyro to find a way to get rid of them. The inventor creates a cheese which attracts all rats and mice in Duckburg.)

- Just Another Hang-Up (Gyro hypnotizes Launchpad to be a bird that never crashes a plane.)

- Pork Barrel Politics (To win a telent show, Donald decides to train three pigs to do tricks. after encountering some problems, he asks Gyro to lend him his Thinking Box so he would make pigs more intelligent.)

- All Quacked Up! (Another of Gyro’s plans for stopping Launchpad of crashing, involves a plane that is made of rubber.)

- A Real Gone Guy (Donald has a problem with mosquitoes, so Gyro gives him a new mosquito repellent. But it turns out he mistakes it with a new spray that is a highly classified military project.)

- The Hopeless Helper (Gyro’s lab is a one big mess, so he employs Goofy to be clean for him. Unfortunately, Goofy uses Gyro’s thinking hat and builds up a disastrous floor swiping machine.)

- Personal Delivery (To avoid going out for a mail on cold mornings, Gyro invents a machine that takes the mail for him.)

- Party of None (Hearing his family and friends complain about his atttitude on luck, Gladstone asks Gyro to neutralize his luck.)

- 100% Pure Luck (Gyro takes some of Gladstone’s hair and extracts the essence of his luck. He lets Donald, Daisy, triplets and Grandma Duck to take the formula.)

- Avast All Ye Swabs! (Gyro spends an afternoon at the pond, when suddenly certain ship builder thinks Gyro wants to “take over his pond”, so he challanges Gyro into ship fight.)

- Fast Away Castaway (Gyro tests his new survival kit on the secluded island. It goes wrong, once the inventor goes asleep.)

-  Higher Learning (Donald is feeling a bit infeorior about his brains. Gyro lends him an invention that expands his mental capabilities. But the invention malufanctions and makes Donald grow into a giant.)

- To Bee or Not to Bee (Gyro’s new honey formula turns Daisy into a bee.)

- Full Circle (This is a story of carton of eggs in ehich a thief hid his loot. The carton goes from hand to hand of unsuspecting Duckburgians, among of which are Donald, Daisy, Gyro, triplets and Rumpus McDuck.)

And then comes Mythos Island Chapter 1 - Mything: One Island. This is a long, multi-chapter comic, one of those where each chapter has a different main character, but it’s a part of bigger story. Gyro appears in the first chapter, where Donald, Scrooge and nephews get the message from odd mechanical fairy. The message is actually a map and when ducks follow it, they find Mythos Island - an island inhabited by mythical creatures. Gyro - alongside with the inventor from Mickey Mouse comics, Doc Static - plays a bigger part only in Chapter 8: Inventors’ Task, where they both need to fix a machine that holds the Mythos Island in one piece.

Before the next mulitchapter, we have two stories:

- Krakenstein Gyro (After watching a movie about mad scientist, Doctor Krankenstein, Gyro decides to try and create a llife.)

- Washday Washout (Gyro visits Grandma Duck and sees her, washing an old cloth. Immediately, the inventor comes with help.)

Then there is Formula 1 comic which basically comes down to the bet between Scrooge McDuck and Flintheart Glomgold over who’s gonna win Formula 1 races. In first chapter - Wonder Down Under - it’s established that Gyro Gearloose builds Scrooge’s car, and he appears in chapter 2, but it’s really chapter 3 - Monstruck,-  where he has his own story: Glogold decides to sabotage Scrooge by taking Gyro out of action. He odes it by luring him into tech convention and shooting him into space. Now Gyro needs to use his inventive skills to come back, especially in the story conclusion in chapters 4, 5 and 6.

Another standalone stories before the next big arc are:

- Scream Team (Gyro presents Donald his newest invention - a phonograph that records things happeining in ten seconds in the future. To convince the duck that his invention is legit, Gyro settles the machine to play sounds from two hours ahead. The sound makes both friends nervous.)

- Snow Job (A Mysterious snowballer attacks people in Duckburg. Donald thinks it’s his mean neighbor Jones. Jones thinks it’s Donald. But it turns out Gyro Gearloose has a key to the mystery.)

Another big arc comic is the Orb Saga. It starts with Uncle Scrooge story Dimes are Forever, which concludes with Scrooge and Donald fiding odd Orb in the vulcano; and with Mickey and Goofy finding another Orb in Kidnapping in Yubet, and that’s how the story kicks in. Then we have a Donald chapter and Daisy and Minnie chapter, before Gyro plays his part. Since girls asked him to examine the orb, he sets a recording. While testing the orb, he gets sucked into the past, where he witnesses the origins of both orbs and what threatens the world on New Year’s Eve of 2007. The final is a two-parter.

Then for the most part we have another bunch of standalone Gyro stories:

- Inventor Contest (Gyro enters the inventor contest: each contestant needs to build a mouse trap. Unfortunately Black Peter also fights for the win.)

- Sit-Down Strike (Gyro’s newest invention makes furniture more sentient. All the couches and chairs are starting a protest.)

- In a Minor Key (Donald and nephews get shrinked. Now they need to go to Gyro, so he can reverse it.)

- Jean Therapy (Gyro creates pants that make people happy and productive. Donald, who wears them first, decides for a mass production and soon whole Duckburg is happy. But soon Huey, Dewey and Louie find out Happy Pants have a little bug.)

- Quacked Quest (Duckburg is crazy about a new movie Sword of the Kings. Donald doesn’t see the appearl, untile he watches the movie himself. Then he gets chellanged and ambushed by members of Renessaince Society, so he takes from Gyro a robot that played the part of sorcerer, Souron.)

- The Present Plot (Gyro and Grandma Duck conspire to take measurements of Little Helper for a surprise Christmas present - a warm clothes.)

- The Ro-Brat (Gyro finds a baby robot on his door step. Little does he know, it was programmed by Emil Eagle to distroy Gyro’s lab.)

- All Work and No Christimas (a two-parter: Huey, Dewey and Louie make a video game that takes world by storm. Now Donald’s nephews care only for their business. How their uncle will bring back their Christmas spirit?)

- The Great Swap Flop (Donald convinces neighbor Jones to dust the snow of Ducks’ property... if Donald go to Gyro for Jones’ toaster. Before he knows, things get complicated.)

- Close-Ups (Daisy gathers Donald, nephew, Scrooge, Gladstone, Rumpus and Gyro to talk about a weird feeling she has lately - a feeling of being watched.)

- The 70th Hevean (A comic celebrating the 70 years of Walt Disney’s Comics. In this story Donald, triplets and Daisy try to prepare a gala for the 70 years of their community paper. Meanwhile, Gladstone prepares his own gala for nobles and rich, but something wents wrong when Gyro’s invitation machine malufanctions and sends invitation to other Disney characters.)

- The Inventor’s Inventor (Because he has a lot of work and he doesn’t want to miss a TV show on giant-size nianites, Gyro invents a robot that makes his own invnentions.)

- Open Door Policy (Gyro invents portable door that open anything. Scrooge buys it, but the invention soon falls into Beagl Boys’ hands.)

- The Planet X Mystery (Ludwig von drake finds a new planet and wants Gyro and Donald to help him explore it.)

- Hocus Focus (Gyro tries to fix a weird dishwasher.)

- Which Switch is Which? (Donald is angry because Gladstone once again surpassed him with asking Daisy out. A bit desperate, he takes Gyro’s teleportation device that make two people switch places with each other.)

- Swallowed Whole (Gyro invents a virtual reality device. Donald takes it by the mistake.)

And that’s it for Gyro Gearloose appearances in Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories. Next time - Donald Duck!

[nomanicsdak]

New Post has been published on http://manicdak.com/?p=2215

SECRETS, CULTS, AND BOARS

Catching Up With Assassin’s Creed

Well, I’ve never done a write up of my gaming nonsense, but I might as well start somewhere.  Got to get those writer fingers a-writing again.  As always, Spoilers abound.

Sparkles!

We start off in modern times, the two — archaeologist? women whose names I don’t remember are stepping into the portable maguffin machine that lets us travel back in times to see the memories of the olden times, as is the main conceit of Assassin’s Creed.  There’s a spear with two blood types on it and I get to choose which character I’m going to play.  I chose Alexios.  The other option is sister Kassandra. 

  So, stepping into the machine sends me to Greece and I awaken a mercenary, I guess, on this little island called Kefalonia or something.   It’s a place that everybody wants to get away from including me.  The first person I meet, if I remember is Phoebe, a fellow orphan who wants Zeus to bestow an eagle upon her just like my own eagle pal.  I want this too.  Make it happen, Z-man!   Obviously, since she seems attached to me, I am worried immediately for her continued safety.  

Punching Sharks for Profit

  My other cohort is the dude who must have raised me, Markos.  He’s kind of a grifter type guy.  Like, he has big ideas and borrows money from shifty one eyed loan sharks called ‘Cyclops’, and the less said about the Cyclops’s eye, the better.   Let’s just say, I have a lot of goat pelts now.   

   I spend the tutorial solving Markos’s Cyclops problem and punching priests who want to murder people because they maybe, might have the plague.  Will this decision lead to Kefalonia’s viral downfall has yet to be seen.  During the course of all this, I meet a guy named Elpenor who I absolutely 100% do not trust right off the bat.  (He knows my name and is totally cool with me killing his own crew.)    

I also meet Odessa, who is cool so far, but I choose not to flirt with her because she’s way too into being like her namesake and supposed relative Odysseus.  I recruit her to my ship later on after I help her dad though.  

Anyway, the game leads me to work for this Elpinor character, and he wants me to kill the Wolf of Sparta and bring him his head.  I don’t want to do this, because I do not trust this tool, but I guess I must.  

  I rescue a boat guy whose name I can’t remember from the Cyclops and we sail off to other, non-sucky, islands.  I can now recruit people to my boat crew by knocking them unconscious.   

Revelations!

So, we learn in flashback form that the Wolf of Sparta (whose name I don’t remember) is my dad.  He used to teach me how to be a real Spartan.  I have a baby sister whom an Oracle told dear old Wolf Dad to throw off a cliff.  No!   My poor mom is crying and some dudes are holding us back, but I break free, try to save her, and in the process we are both thrown off the cliff.  And this is how I came to wash up on nowhere island to be cared for by Markos of the terrible ideas.

So maybe I will go after Wolf dad after all.

When I get to where the Spartans are warring with the Athenians I am met with —  my brother????   Okay, he’s the son that Wolf dad must have adopted after he threw all his kids off a cliff.  He doesn’t believe I’m Alexios because I should be dead, but I can go see the wolf if I help him defeat the Athenians and gain control of wherever the heck territory I’m on now. 

I do that.

When I confront Wolfdad, I decide I’m not going to murder his ass after all.  Like, I always end up trying to be as nice as a mercenary can be.   He also reveals that he is not my real dad and I have to ask my mom about it wherever she is.  I have to find her now.  I am going to just assume I am a demi-god for now. 

So, my two options are to go see the oracle at Delphi, or to meet up with Elpenor.  Obviously, I’m not down with Oracles after one’s vision got me cliffed.  My boat guy is down with it, though, and I just hate Elpinor more every passing moment.  I figure the Oracle can maybe give me some insight into this.

  That is how I failed a quest.  Elpinor doesn’t get his head, and the Oracle reveals that she is making shit up at the behest of a murder cult whose murder objective is my family in particular.  I can sneak into their lair if I steal the robes from a certain member–  Do you want to guess who it is?

  Yeah, it’s Elpinor.  I feel super vindicated!  Now we have reached the place where I started last night, more or less.

Ridin’ the Snake

I handily dispatch Elpinor, so now I don’t have to worry about his duplicitous ass anymore.  I forgot about Herodetos, my boat guy introduced me to him and told him way too many of my secrets for a stranger.  Him, I trust though.  We shall se how that turns out.  He goes with me to scope out this murder cult under Apollo’s temple.

 I learn there that they are worshiping some kind of futuristic pyramid thing, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t recall.  I now have a bunch of cultists to end, and in my searching of their cult cave I find they are torturing the poor Oracle.  I can do nothing to save her though.  That is not sitting right with me, but when I return to the pyramid I am met face to face with my totally alive Sister.  She is now the cult’s main muscle and she knows there’s a traitor in the midst.  We all have to touch the pyramid now.  She sees our mingled memories when it is my turn.  I presume she knows I’m the thing that doesn’t belong, but she lets me go and kills some other dude instead.

Now that was something.  I decided to try and defeat the giant mega boar again to take my mind off this reveal, which doesn’t work at all.  I thought I might get to flirt with Daphnae, who gave me this pain in the butt quest, but alas.  We will never know, because this pig is not going down any time soon.

It is as tall as Alexios.  It will not die.

Now, since I lack the boar hunting gene, I decide to find some quests and level up.  There can’t possibly be any more world shattering reveals under this innocuous looking exclamation point in this little town.  I’m just going to have to fetch a thing, get some easy, peasy, xp–easies?  Let’s check it out.

What?  It’s a cute doctor!  Even better!

IJust as suspected, he sends me on a quest for some herbs.  I get to flirt with him.   Later, after fighting a pack of wolves for these stupid herbs, Lykaon (that is his name) he suspiciously holds back some for his grandma and sends me on another quest to deliver the medicines to his patients.

  All of whom tell me about his confirmed bachelor status.  Okay, I get it town’s people.  Twist my arm.

  Now, we learn about Lykaon’s dear grandma, who I learn he wants to murder because she is a former lying oracle that ruined lives by her lying.  I might just happen to be down with this plan if she’s the lady that told my Wolf dad to throw my sis off a cliff.  What do you think the odds are?  Unfortunately she’s been captured and must be rescued before we get to her.   I manage do this pretty easily and we find out that, yes, she is the one.

 And she was lying to my Wolfdad about it, so nobody had to go over the cliff?  This snake cult has fully infiltrated Greece since way back then?  What is their game??   I guess I will find out.

   Right now I am going to convince Lykaon to not kill his repentant grandma.  I know she did wrong in general and to my family specifically, but…   I can’t do it.   I don’t let him do it either.  We let grandma run away for now and instead make out under the stars and fade to black. 

How far will I travel next session?  Will I kill the boar?  Will I find my mom and find out Zeus visited her in the form of a ferret or something?  Will I dispatch some cultists?   Who knows.  Until next time!

Sideways Mohawk Hat

*Sigh*

My Horse Finds Apollo

Sea Gods

Floating Dogs of Kefelonia

Free Pigs!

Heraldry

The exact moment at which Alexios lights a fart

Bullhat

[myfuckofffundjourney]

Money Diary, Week 1

This will be long, and rambly! But it’s good to have it written down.

Tuesday, Jan 2

11 am: feeling like hell, go grab some over the counter decongestants. Pharmacist suggests a proper doctors visit. Make an appointment. 22nis

11:15: grab coffee at cafelix on the way to the bus. 11 nis

11:20: bus. 5.9 nis

12:00: pick up some doctor prescribed decongestants. 16nis.

14:30: bus home. 5.9 nis

14:45: crap. Can’t use transfer - buy another ticket. 5.9 nis

16:30: need water and snacks - 11 nis. I buy a glass bottle that I’ll reuse until I lose it or something. I had a reusable water bottle that i misplaced at a friends house. I keep reminding myself to go find it or buy a new one. That and a portable french press to-go mug, which is the best for my coffee addiction+constantly running around schedule.

22:00: Load my rav kav with 30 shekels. Home, grilled cheese and apple sandwich, TV, free yoga, bed. 30 nis.

107.7

Wednesday, Jan 3

11:00: Woke up feeling good! I planned my day out so that I did yoga, cleaned, and studied for two hours. Breakfast was a few pieces of peanut butter toast and a clementine. Now I need coffee and am out (used the last dregs for a sad cup this morning that just isn’t doing it) so I run out to grab some. 11 nis

14:30: I’m also out of toilet paper. On the way to get some, I drop off a sweater that needs to be dry cleaned. It was free so I don’t mind needing to dry clean it. Plus, its the best sweater ever. Grab a small package of toilet paper. In the future I will try to get to bulk stores and buy in bulk but for now, I’ll go with tiny 4-packs. Successfully restrain myself from buying a snack, telling myself I’m avoiding extra expenses and sugar. 5.5 nis

14:45: Heating up chicken soup for lunch. I see that my maple syrup has some weird blobs floating around in it which means some moths probably got inside. SO ANNOYED. I have more, and I probably didn’t even pay for this one, but it’s still an expensive food item I like having around and it sucks to waste it. Fuck you, moths. Eat my chicken soup, which is nearly finished (thankfully, it was getting a bit boring).

15:00: a friend is giving away a mattress, which I need. I just don’t know how i would get it to where I am, which is a studio sublet for the next 7 days, and where I’d put it after until I move into my new place. This is tricky.

22:00: The chair and mattress don’t work out, which sucks, because it could have saved me a lot of money. Oh well. I head to Jerusalem after class and get dinner with Shlomi. They end up giving us tons of free drinks because I used to work there. We split the bill. 88 nis.

104.5

Thursday Jan 4

10:00: coffee and a donut to nurse my hangover/sit and plan my day. I’m going to work somewhere that pays really well per hour, so things like a coffee in the morning feel less worrisome, as I need to be focused and Shlomi only has shit coffee at his place. A while after I leave, I realize that the guy forgot to ring up my donut, and make a mental note to remind him next time. 15 nis.

11:00: Take a taxi that I can bill to the client. I don’t in the end though. 30 nis.

18:00: Get paid! I worked really reallllllly slowly today so I end up charging them for an hour less. Still, I made 1200nis, and with reimbursements, it came to a nice 3170 nis. Wahoo!

18:30: Bus to meet friends for dinner. 5.9 nis.

20:00: Ugh. I told friends I’d take them to dinner as a thank you for a huge favor (that netted me a good amount of money a week ago). I put down 350 nis. 350 nis.

20:10: Train to the bus station because it is freezing and I’m tired. 5.9 nis.

21:00: Fill my Rav Kav. 100 nis.

22:00: grab chocolate and cream for my very necessary hot chocolate movie date night with myself. 18 nis.

524.8

Friday Jan 5

13:30: Head to a friend to cook and get ready for shabbat. He bought most of the food, which is nice for me. I pick up my sweater from the dry cleaners on the way to him. 30 nis.

13:45: Pick up necessary dinner items (I brought the rest from home) - noodles and nori. It costs 18 nis.

14:30: Meet up with a friend - I really want to get coffee or something but we just grab a package of cookies that I devour. 12 nis.

60

Saturday Jan 6

Money-free day! Woop woop.

Sunday Jan 7

In a fit of annoyance after waiting at the bank for WAY too long, I impulse buy a fuckton of cake. Whoops. 24 nis. But I made all my meals at home - including a truly vile peanut noodle stir fry that used up most of the veggies that were going off. It’s definitely not enough and I’ll probably get a snack later, but at least I ate my big meals (breakfast and dinner) at home.

20:00: buy some chocolate. I eat them and feel like shit in every part of my body. Dumb move. Ugh. 16 nis

40

Monday Jan 8

Morning coffe - 10 nis. After taking care of the bank (does depositing 5,000 nis into a deposit for an apartment count as spending money? Not sure…) I go to hand in receipts for an event  I did a few weeks ago - will hopefully get paid for it soon. I need to return wineglasses I borrowed for it; the taxi ride there and back to a meeting with an interested potential client who wants cooking lessons costs me a shitload of money - 117 nis - and I’m annoyed that I didn’t bill the people who did the event. On the other hand, it might bring it a lot of work in the future so it’s worth it. I hope. Meet friends for coffee and donuts. I end up paying which is annoying but I know she’ll get me back in the future. 38 nis. Then I get lunch because I’m still getting over my sugar hangover. 33 nis. On the way to the bus I grab a water bottle because I feel faint with thirst - 7 nis. Once at school, I duck into a grocery store and pick up a banana, apple,and yogurt for breakfast tomorrow. 13.5 nis. Talk to a friend about signing up for a CSA which should actually save money - it’s 90 shekel a week plus a 20 shekel delivery fee. Divided by two people, it’s 55 shekel a week and should be enough produce for us, and as a bonus, it’s fresh, local, and seasonal and also will help me cut down on impulse grocery store buys.

I know the next few weeks/months are going to be stupidly expensive - I have to move a house, get new things for the new place, replace my phone because it’s dying. I can see that the cord on my computer charger is fraying - it will probably need to get repaired soon or fixed. That’s not to mention the two huge fees that have been looming over me - getting my license and getting my wisdom teeth out. Those two, plus tuition, are the like, massive things that I need to sort out but don’t even know how it is POSSIBLE. Gah.

Go home. Decide not to buy anything even though I need food that’s healthyish. I make some tea and peanut butter toast.

218.5

Tuesday Jan 9

Meet a friend for breakfast even though it’s not the smartest thing to do, but it’s delicious and we have fun. 50 nis.

Grab groceries on the way home, including some oatmeal to replace from what I took in this apartment. I get her a full container even though I only used a tiny bit. 30 nis

Throw in a load of laundry. Jesus christ I cannot WAIT to have a washing machine again. This blows. 20 nis. Then another 6 nis for drying it. Grr.

Head to class. I’m agressively tired so I go to cofix and get a shitty coffee and energy bar. 10 nis.

Happily I get a ride home! Make us tuna wraps and pack the apartment.

116

Wednesday Jan 10

I pack all morning. Kim is here to help me move which is amazing, so I take her for breakfast. Between the two of us and tip, it comes out to 112 nis.

Go home, continue packing. I need to get trash bags because I have nothing to put my linens in, and also replace some soy milk. 24 nis. While in am/pm I get a call from my health insurance - I need to make a late payment. Bloody hell. :(

We drive to make the second drop off - have to wait outside for a key. I get us both a juice because we are irritable and sore and exhausted. 18 nis.

Buy a soda water. 5 nis.

School. Buy a yogurt and clementine. 7.5 nis.

Head to Jerusalem. I’m starving and assuming Shlomi is in school till ten so I grab pizza with a friend. 45 nis. Meet another friend to kill some time - she convinces me to get ice cream. I dont even want ice cream but we’re stoned. Ugh. 15 nis.

226.5

Weekly Total: 1398

Food (groceries) 109

Food (restaurants/not at home/impulse buys) 870 

Transportation 159.5

Transportation, work related: 147

Misc: 99.5