#she do be thinkin about eating a frat boy tho

[oneandonlyartblog]

MerMay 5th, fireflies.

[naireides]

do u think Raven (in the shower biz fic),once she saw Clarke stroll towards the shower w Bellamy in it, that she opened up the groupchat: Raven-it's happened!!- Raven-i'm @ bellamy n clarkes apt & theyre literally showering together!!!!!!!111!!!!!- Raven-who bet on 4 months- Jasper-IUFESJDKXNOUJFKXVCIHOFDLB- Jasper-FINALLY- Miller-yea that was me pay up *sunglasses emoji*-

this?? turned?? into?? a fic?? wow okay

wc: 2 458part 1 | read on ao3

Saturday, 8: 53 a.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: i don’t mean to alarm anybody but i think bellamy and clarke are datingRaven: or at least having sex

Harper: [click to view image]

Murphy: you can’t say that and then not expect us to be alarmed reyesMurphy: some of us have money riding on this shit

Monty: pics or it didn’t happen

Jasper: FWEJFCERGBUJJFJEFSJasper: [click to view image]

Miller: Jasper if you don’t stop fucking screaming i’m coming over there and choking you

Jasper: ooh kinky ;) ;)

Monty: excuse you, i’m the only one allowed to flirt with miller here

Raven: yeah jasper, keep your kinks to yourselfRaven: this is me kinkshaming youRaven: ARE YOU KINKSHAMED

Jasper: jokes on you kinkshaming is my kink

Monty: how much kink could a kinkshame shame if a kinkshame could shame kink

Miller: i will murder all of you is2g

Raven: we already have one psychopath in this groupchat miller we don’t need another one

Murphy: fuck you reyes

Harper: she didn’t say it was you murphyHarper: … but we all know it’s you

Miller: could you fucks keep it down some of us are trying to sleepMiller: also i bet on them lasting four months living together pay up

Raven: um we don’t know how long they’ve been together

Miller: you’re just bitter that you lost

Monty: she has a point tho

Miller: wtf you’re supposed to be on MY SIDE

Monty: i’m on the side of justiceMonty: …… and also because i bet that they would have gotten together in september

Murphy: you put way too much trust in blake tbh

Jasper: what exactly happened raven? did you walk in on bellamy scrambling clarke’s eggs ;) ;)

Monty: dude no one even knows what that means

Harper: and no one wants to know either

Raven: clarke and i were supposed to go shopping todayRaven: and she oversleptRaven: so she let me in to wait while she got readyRaven: and then bellamy walks in from his run because he’s a gross fitness junkie

Murphy: you’re a gross fitness junkie too

Raven: quiet jonathanRaven: so here i am at bellamy and clarke’s apartment and she literally followed him into the showerRaven: !!!!!

Monty: OMG

Jasper: he could be scrambling her eggs in the shower

Murphy: i gotta give blake some credit, that didn’t take as long as i thought he would

Miller: you bet that they’d get together in june. 2023Miller: THAT’S IN SIX YEARS

Murphy: yeah because blake would rather make moon eyes across the couch at her than make a moveMurphy: he’s a pussy

Harper: hEY

Raven: WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH

Miller: SIX YEARS

Monty: STOP THE YELLING

Jasper: STOP THE MADNESS

Harper: so we don’t really know for sure how long they’ve been a thing

Raven: nopeRaven: but i’ll ask clarke about it laterRaven: miller, murphy, one of you ask bellamy

Murphy: no thanks

Miller: i rather not

Raven: … Raven: pussies.

Murphy: OH so she can say it but i can’t

Raven: shut up murphy

-

Saturday, 10: 04 a.m.Bellamy Blake

Miller: soMiller: how’s clarke doin?

Bellamy: ??Bellamy: uh fine?Bellamy: she’s out with raven rn

Miller: anything… special planned for later?

Bellamy: noBellamy: why

Miller: you knowMiller: it’s saturdayMiller: good date night

Bellamy: rightBellamy: shouldn’t you be telling monty this

Miller: you’re impossible

Bellamy: how am i impossible? You’re the one making no sense!

Miller: so you’re not doing anything tonight. or doing clarke tonight.Miller: … Miller: i meant doing anything *WITH clarke tonight fucking autocorrect

Bellamy: i mean we might watch a movie or something but i don’t think soBellamy: monty ditch you for his nerd friends tonight so you wanna cry on my shoulder huh

Miller: fuck you blake

-

Saturday, 10: 28 a.m.Bellamy Blake

Murphy: u fucking clarke yet

Bellamy: what the fuck NO

Murphy: bummerMurphy: u should get on that thoMurphy: or under thatMurphy: or behind that

Bellamy: i will BLOCK you

-

Saturday, 10: 47 a.m.Clarke Griffin

Clarke: raven is acting super weird

Bellamy: raven is always weird

Clarke: well yeahClarke: but weirder than normalClarke: you know what i mean

Bellamy: no yeah i get youBellamy: miller and murphy are weird too

Clarke: come on MURPHY is always weirdClarke: like i wouldn’t be surprised if he sells organs on the black market or something

Bellamy: he’s a chef princess

Clarke: EXACTLYClarke: that means he knows where to stab you

Bellamy: goodbye clarke

Clarke: yeah yeah go back to jacking off to npr sorry i disturbed you

Bellamy: fuck you griffin

Clarke: maybe later honey i’m not in the mood for phone sex

Bellamy: GOODBYE CLARKE

-

Saturday, 11: 38 a.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: OH MY GODRaven: i hate themRaven: bellamy and clarke are IDIOTS

Monty: ??????????

Harper: what happened

Miller: i don’t think they’re dating

Murphy: i asked and he said they’re definitely not fucking

Jasper: BUT THEY SHOWERED TOGETHER RAVEN SAW IT HAPPEN

Raven: THEY DO SHOWER TOGETHER IT’S RIDICULOUS I HATE THEM

Monty: raven WHAT HAPPENED

Raven: so i asked clarke about the shower thing that i saw this morningRaven: and like. she doesn’t deny showering with bellamyRaven: actually it seems like they do it pretty fucking oftenRaven: but it’s all PLATONICRaven: P L A T O N I C   S H O W E R   S H A R I N G

Harper: i think raven’s brain just broke

Miller: who the fuck even does that

Monty: bellamy and clarke apparently

Murphy: lmao i told you blake has no gameMurphy: he’s naked in a 6x4 bathroom with the girl he has a crush on- who is ALSO NAKED- and he doesn’t do anything about itMurphy: i’m still amazed that he used to have threesomes in college

Jasper: bellamy used to have threesomes in college???Jasper: our bellamy??Jasper: HE ALMOST CRASHED INTO A STOP SIGN BECAUSE CLARKE SMILED AT HIM THAT ONE TIME

Harper: jesus fucking christ they’re disasters

Raven: jasper, come over at my place later they only way i can deal with this is with weed

Jasper: ayyyyy i like how you thinkin

-

Saturday, 10: 52 p.m.Bellamy Blake

Clarke: i still maintain that showering together can be totally platonic

Bellamy: what we just did certainly was not platonic

Clarke: yeah but we didn’t actually fuck in the showerClarke: so it’s still platonicClarke: i’m not fucking you in the shower btw

Bellamy: is this out of sheer spite to keep it platonic

Clarke: no it’s because i work in a hospital and i’ve seen more than my fair share of broken dicks because of shower sex

Bellamy: you work in a CLINIC

Clarke: still seen broken dicks thoClarke: i don’t want you to break your dickClarke: i like your dickClarke: and the rest of youClarke: you’re great bell

Bellamy: that was weirdly sweetBellamy: i like you tooBellamy: it’s kind of why we’re in a relationship

Clarke: we’ve only been in this relationship for like 4 hoursClarke: and you didn’t even ASK me to be your girlfriendClarke: you just fucked me like i was some two bit hussy

Bellamy: princess will you go out with me

Clarke: good boy you learn quick

Bellamy: that’s not an answer it’s a yes or no question clarke

Clarke: yes

Bellamy: good. now put down your phone and go to sleep

Clarke: orrrrr we could have phone sex ;) ;)

Bellamy: clarke you are literally right down the hall from me

Clarke: heyClarke: hey bellClarke: i’m not wearing any panties

Bellamy: jesusBellamy: you do realise i asked you to stay in my bed with me and you said no right?

Clarke: yeah because my bed is comfortableClarke: altho i bet it would be more comfortable with you in it ;) ;) ;)

Bellamy: you are a frat boy in the body of a 27 year old woman

Clarke: you’re one to talk i just heard your door open

Bellamy: … semantics

Clarke: i lured you into my bed with my feminine wiles didn’t i?Clarke: i really am a two bit hussy

Bellamy: yeah yeah i’m coming

Clarke: you’re not the only one who’s gonna be coming ;) ;)

-

Monday, 9: 14 a.m.Princess

Clarke: sorry to text you at work but do you think we could keep this quiet for a little while?Clarke: i forgot to ask yesterday because SOMEONE spent the whole day eating me out

Bellamy: it wasn’t the whole dayBellamy: more like 4 hoursBellamy: and yeah, of course princess

Clarke: good, thanks bell Clarke: i just can’t handle seeing her smug little face

Bellamy: yeah i get itBellamy: same with me and miller. and murphy too tbh

Clarke: so it’s a secret?

Bellamy: i guess so

Clarke: coolClarke: that’s kinda hotClarke: *moon face emoji*

Bellamy: I’M AT SCHOOL CLARKE I’M NOT GONNA SEXT YOU AT SCHOOL

Clarke: fine be boring

Bellamy: i’ll make it up to you later ;)

-

Friday, 6: 13 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Miller: god i can’t believe they’re still not togetherMiller: i went to pick up blake for a boys night and caught them taking ANOTHER shower togetherMiller: SCHOOL’S CLOSED FOR WINTER BREAK WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS

Jasper: we really should stage an interventionJasper: monty is good at powerpoint presentations

Monty: i am good at powerpoint presentations yes

Raven: ‘10 reasons why platonic shower sharing ISN’T A THING’

Harper: nah i think that’s too long for a title

Murphy: ‘Get Married Already’

Monty: concise, but a little too on the nose

Miller: ugh he’s changed his contact name for her to ‘princess’ with a heart emoji i’m gonna throw up

Harper: ‘oh bellamy? he’s just a friend. such a good friend.’

Jasper: cLaRkE aNd I aRe pLaToNiCJasper: [click to view image]

Raven: i really really hate them

-

Friday, 6: 14 p.m.Bell

Bellamy: come on this isn’t fair princessBellamy: i just left the house

Clarke: and??

Bellamy: give a guy some warningBellamy: miller almost saw that picture you sent meBellamy: no nudes out of the blue like that

Clarke: you really are an 80 year old man aren’t you

Bellamy: you weren’t saying that last night

Clarke: touche

-

Tuesday, 7: 19 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Harper: should i go all out with the mistletoeHarper: maybe we could trap them underneath it

Raven: lbr, bellamy and clarke would call it ‘platonic kissing’

Harper: oh shit u rite

Monty: ‘only real friends shove their tongues into each other’s mouths’

Miller: i say go for it if it can work in the rom coms then it can work hereMiller: these two are probably almost as ridiculous as a rom comMiller: maybe even more

Jasper: you watch rom coms miller?

Miller: … new phone who dis

-

Wednesday, 4: 32 p.m.Bellamy Blake

Raven: tell your wife that she’s on cookie decorating duty for christmas dinnerRaven: we meet at harper’s on sunday to begin

Bellamy: cute reyesBellamy: and you know that CLARKE has her own phone right

Raven: yeah, but i’m willing to bet real money that she’s sitting right next to you

Bellamy: no comment

Raven: yeah that’s what i thoughtRaven: i guess because you two are joined at the hip that means you have to shower together huh

Bellamy: for the love of god IT SAVES TIME

Raven: YOU 2 ARE WEIRDOS

-

Sunday, 9: 12 p.m.Clarke Griffin

Raven: hey i think you left your scarf in my carRaven: i’m only like a block away i’ll come back and drop it offRaven: it has frosting on it i’m not keeping this shitRaven: be there in like 10

-

Sunday, 9: 21 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: OH YM GODRaven: YOU G UYSRaven: FCUK YOU;LL NEVR GUESS WAHT HAPPEND

Murphy: you turned off auto correct?

Raven: i’m going to ignore thatRaven: because CLARKE AND BELLAMY ARE FUCKINGRaven: FOR REAL THIS TIMERaven: IN THE FCKIGN SHOWER AGAIN

Jasper: what

Monty: are you sure??

Harper: how do you know

Miller: jfc

Jasper: WHAT

Raven: i dropped clarke home a little while ago and made it like a block before i realised that she left her scarf in my carRaven: so i went back to the apartment and it was empty BUT I COULD HEAR THEMRaven: MY POOR EARS

Murphy: didn’t you fuck blake a few years ago

Raven: yeah but that was before we were FRIENDSRaven: I DON’T NEED TO HEAR CLARKE BEGGING FOR BELLAMY TO GIVE IT TO HER HARDER

Jasper: IS THIS THE REAL LIFE

Monty: OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY

Raven: or trust me, it’s real and i’m SCARRED FOR LIFE

Harper: you mean they hid their relationship from us??

Miller: either that or they both have a huge shower kink

Harper: why would they hide their relationship from us??

Raven: idk BUT I’M GONNA YELL AT THEMRaven: … right after i figure out how to unhear things

-

Sunday, 9: 33 p.mRaven Reyes created a new groupchat: BETRAYAL

Raven added Bellamy Blake to the chat

Raven added Clarke Griffin to the chat

Raven: DECEPTIONRaven: DISGRACERaven: AN OUTRAGE! FOR SHAME!

Clarke: surprise?

Raven: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HID THIS FROM USRaven: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

Bellamy: i mean, i don’t really like you that much

Raven: shove it blake

Clarke: we just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while

Raven: and how long is a little while hmm

Bellamy: roughly 2 months give or take

Raven: i can’t believe itRaven: TWO MONTHSRaven: you 2 ruined christmas i hope you’re happyRaven: you are UNINVITED from tomorrow’s festivities

Raven Reyes has left the chat

Bellamy: godBellamy: are all of our friends this ridiculous?

Clarke: i’m 90% sure they had bets about usClarke: so yes

Bellamy: whatever who needs friends on christmasBellamy: we have cold turkey in the fridge and some potatoes we’re good to go

Clarke: and me of course

Bellamy: you?Bellamy: oh lemme guess, for dessert

Clarke: actually no i meant you have me, your girlfriend, so you don’t need anyone elseClarke: but i like yours betterClarke: *moon face emoji*

Bellamy: of course you do

Clarke: you love it

Bellamy: i love YOU

Clarke: Clarke: i love you too bell