#she is still baby but ooh boy oh gee oh heck

[dormefuu]

aww, baby uwu 

uhm...baby??

[liopleurodean]

Season 7, Episode 23: Survival Of The Fittest

Here we go again

Not much to say about the road so far

Yikes

Oh you liar

Astute deduction, Watson

Indeed

Of course

Really?

Wow, so generous

That's true

He won't do it

Or maybe he will

Oh jeez, hold on. This conversation is the first to come up in an spn ambient track that I like to use to fall asleep, and that just made me really tired

Was it?

I still think it should be Dean. You know, Righteous Man and all

I want to know this story

Also, I previously had thought that the asmrtist had stitched together bits of dialogue, but nope. That's just... how the conversation went

Great

Really?

Dang it, Bobby

This is horrifying

Okay, that makes sense

So picky

Good for you

Dean.

Alright then

Oh boy

Not exactly

That's weird

When is it ever good news?

Who, Cas?

Yeah

If Bob Ross was a song

Did it hurt?

Um...

That is a fantastic question, Cas

Right

That's weird

Yeah

Okay..?

So Cas knows

The question of the hour

Cas...

Change of tactics

Oh great

Yeah, Meg should run

Uh oh

They still don't know

Don't act like you don't keep secrets, Crowley

Exactly

She's aware

See? He's loopy

Is that-?

Okay then

Yup!

Exactly!

Right...

Something they'd like to know

Of course, Marcus

A two-for-one deal

Seriously, Cas

Dang it, Bobby

What did he expect?

Bobby.

Crap

That's concerning

Like a freaking dog

Gee, that's helpful

Ooh, Twizzlers!

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best

That's weird

Why didn't he put the blood on the stabby end?

Anticlimactic

Hi Cas

Thanks, Cas!

Cas.

Whose is that?

Okay

Like a doctor's office

Interesting

That's freaky

Good for you, Kevin

Something's up with her

Ooh, go Kevin!

Oh boy

So like... Leviathan caviar

When is that?

Yikes

He won't make it

Uh oh

This is concerning

Charlie!

There are multiples

Wow

This is horrifying

It's like rabies

Oh no

They have company

They found out

Bad idea

He's not listening

It won't work!

Bobby!

He disappated

It was Bobby

That was a weird way to say it

Cas

Dean. Man, y'all need to be more careful with what you say

Are you sure?

Oh, Cas

What, Sam?

Ouch

Harsh, but... kind of needed

Cas.

Ah.

It's still possible

Doesn't mean much

Taking a lot of self-control

Oh, Bobby

...why do you want to know, Dean?

Okay

Yeah.

I think that's the plan

You will. I promise

About 7-8 years

...which, in retrospect, is kind of soon

That's a hot fire

He went pretty calmly

Oh, Dean...

I just want to give him a hug...

Cas, you're being weird again

That's a new game

Literally

Ooh!!!!!!! Are they getting Baby back???

I guess

Cas...

But you're still a help

ID RATHER HAVE YOU CURSED OR NOT

Season 7 is Destiel season, apparently, which is wild because I think this is what they call the "divorce arc"

Touche

Mm, yeah, well

Thanks, Cas

Make a show out of it

AND SHES BACK, BABY

There's my best girl

Gorgeous as ever

Nice

Ooh, that's gonna scratch the paint job!

He let Meg drive Baby?????? Is he psycho?????

I guess that works

Rip

...that's a new type of insult

Keep moving

Yikes

Oh that's just fantastic

Kevin!

Good info, thanks Kevin!

Okay

Yeah...

That's true

It is. For you

Great

No

Wow

Whaaat

It's working

That was just weird

And also that seemed too easy

Where are Dean and Cas?

Yeah...

That's the question of the hour

Crowley...

Crap

He's a person!

Yes and no

At least he's not insane anymore?

Wait. We're already almost done with the episode???? That felt like it was five minutes long!

Well, at least they're together

Purgatory.

Cas sounds better

Yeah

Good question

That's freaky

Cas, don't leave him alone!

How the heck is Dean supposed to survive that??????

[britishchick09]

sherlock s2 ep 1 livewatch

welcome to a new (cumber)batch of eps! i’m excited to see all the iconic moments in this one :D

i haven’t even played the dvd yet and it’s glorious :’)

ooh it starts with a ‘previously’!!!

JIM MOIARTY HIIII!!!! :D

moiarty is amazing (and this recap is so dramatic!)

OMG SHERLOCK NECK FRECKLE! :o

also seeing the old channel 8 logo in the corner is so cool! :D

HOLD UP why is bee gees playing

IS MOIARTY A BEE GEES FAN???

‘staying alive’ lol funny since he’s about to get shot :D

moiarty: “SAY THAT AGAIN!!!!!” say that again QUIETER MOIARTY GEEZ

and he just walks away!!!

shoe sherlock cool

sherlock 2 NOW

oh no it’s irene alder...

masterpiece INTRO YAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

me watching sherlock be like:

the masterpiece trust is just rich people cool

omg the viking river cruises spon is the same as today! :D

woah they’re playing a movie trailer! :o

it’s a british movie obviously and i’ve never heard of it OBVIOUSLY

the scottish host guy is talking and i love it :D

host: “his mind has more apps than an iphone” lol

“a series of his three most famous cases begins! are you ready?” HECK YEAH LET’S GOOOO!!!!!!

YAS the blog scene!

sherlock: “what are you typing?” john: “a blog... about us”

lady: “i think my husband is having an affair.” sherlock: “yes”

sherlock thinks cases are boring except

sherlock ‘cases don’t need titles’ holmes

WOAH SHERLOCK JUST TOLD A LITTLE GIRL THAT DEAD PEOPLE BURN :o

lestrade: “any ideas?” john: “eight so far” wowza :o

sherlock ‘don’t mention the unsolved cases’ holmes

glasseslock!!!!! :D

eyyyyyyyy ;D

people want pics of sherlock and john do johnlockers exist in this universe? :o

lol :D

irene is seductively putting her hand on lockie’s newspaper pic ewww :(

mrs. hudson hates the fridge

THUMBS IN THE FRIDGE FRIDGE THUMBS

mrs. hudson: “BOYS YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!!’ *insert meme here*

ooh it spins into a flashback!

OMG JOHNLOCK VID CHAT!!!!

sherlock’s in the sheet! :o

*phone rings* sherlock: SHUT. UP!!!!” lol :D

john’s holding his laptop around lol :D

john: ‘there’s a mute button and i will use it” aka the 2020 president debates

woah some random guys are in lockie’s house and john needs a helicopter what’s up with that????

BUCKINGHAM PALACE YAAAASSS!!!!!!!

john looks under...

giggly!!!!!

♥

mycroft is the queen now

BOI LOCKIE’S LIKE ‘what for?’ TO PUT PANTS ON OMMGGGGGGG

john smol be like :o

guy: “mr holmes the younger”

LOCK BUTT LOCK BUTT NOOOOOOO

john be like o///o ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

o lockie’s’s in clothes again :/

mycroft doesn’t trust the secret service welcome to america

:(

i don’t like irene not because there’s apparently a thing between her and sherlock but because she’s a bit creepy!

THERE LIKE THAT!

sherlock: “photographs of whom?” ooh how fancy

sherlock: “laters!!” lol! :D

irene’s friend is named kate like channel 8 being called ‘kaet’! :D

fashionista! :o

yes this is ‘the right armor’ lockie

john: “you didn’t even change your clothes!” lol :D

sherlock: “go on punch me in the face” lol :D

watson: “i always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking in subtext” ...wut o_O

WORST BATTLE DRESS EVER NNNOPE IMMA HEAD OUT

are sherlock and irene being shipped because they were naked in the same up

irene: “i could cut myself slapping your face” louise belcher wants your number

bi john when he sees irene: o///o “...i’ve missed something haven’t i?”

sherlock isn’t affected by naked irene thus i headcanon him as aro/ace (or even demi/ace in john’s case like my own holmes character) thank you and good night

irene just sits her bare butt on the chair why

JOHN SISTER NANI???? :o

also this font is so basic WHY LOCKIE

irene: “somebody loves you” *glances at john* ok i like her a tad she gets it ;)

john: “put something on, please. like.. a napkin?” lol :D

irene’s like ‘why’ JUS LIKE SHERLOCK BUT I SHALL NOT SHIP THIS SHIP THE SHOW IS TRYING TO SHIP

also john giggles at naked sherlock and is like ‘plz no’ with naked irene (although i would be too that lady is OUT THERE)

ooh antiques roadshow! :D

also she’s dressed like lockie NO

irene: “brainy is the new sexy” plz no :(

she took her clothes off ‘to make an impression’ yep

WAIT  they were just outside now they’re back in wut???

irene was born in the 80s cool :D

WOAH why are there more guy with guns?

and *le gasp* AN AMERICAN????

DON’T SHOOT JOHN AMERICAN!!!

ooh what was the code? :o

EPIC SLOW MO FIGHT YOOOOOO

DANNNNG IRENE JUS GUN SMACKED A GUY

sherlock just flipped a phone LIKE A FLIP PHONE OHHHH

irene is number 1 sherlock fan besides john confirmed

at first i thought it was a fandom phrase but it’s not! :o

WHY DID IRENE JUST PUNCH SHERLOCK

SHE’S WHIPPING HIM????

this reminds me of a certain sw ship... :(

yeah i don’t ship them AT ALLLLLL NOW

the key code is irene’s measurements DOES SHE MEAN...

the camera’s spinning FLASHBACK???

woah are they in the case?? this could be sherlock’s mind palace!

irene: “you got that just from one look? definitely the new sexy” NONONONONOO

outside bed

awww sweet bby ;)

did john tuck him in?

CRAP it was ireneeeeee >:(

the way she says ‘hush now it’s ok...’ is like count olaf in the hostile hospital when he drugs violet :o

LOCKIE’S FIRST WORDS WHEN WAKING UP WHERE JOHN awwww :D

OMG DID JOHN REALLY TUCK HIM IN awwww!!!!!!! ♥

lestrade filmed loopy sherlock lol :D

john: “ahhh back to bed!” awww :)

sherlock: “iiii’m fine i’m absolutely fine!!!’ drugged sherlock is a treasure ♥

sherlock: ”why would i need you?” john: “no reason at all” :)

ew was that an irene phone moan gross

DID SHERLOCK CHANGE HIS TEXT NOTIF TO THAT???

mrs. hudson: “family is all we have in the end, mycroft holmes!” mycroft: “oh shut up, mrs. hudson!” john: “my-“ sherlock: “MYCROFT!!!!” lol :D

mrs. hudson: “it’s a bit rude that noise isn’t it?” indeed!!

sherlock: “you can follow her on twitter” TWITTER IN THE HOLMESVERSE????

sherlock: “there’s more! much more” but wait... THERE’S MORE!

LOCKIE VIOLIN!!!!! :D

THE CHRISTMAS THING WASN’T A FAN MANIP HOLY YAS!!!!!!!! :D

cool sweater john!!! :D

:D

molly: ‘having christmas drinkies then?” wallace wants walkies thank you very much

john: “she’s off the booze!” sherlock: “nnnope” john: “shut up sherlock” lol

john to sherlock: ‘take a day off” lockie doesn’t know the concept mr doc

DID SHERLOCK NAME MOLLY CRY???? :o

HE KISSED HER????

sherlock still has the irene moan after all this time WHY

finding irene on christmas coolio :D

molly: “how did sherlock recognize her by... without her face?” ;)

sherlock smoking bad >:(

WOAH IS IRENE DEAD?????

VIOLIN YAS!!!! :D

smiley smiley :)

awww sherlock plucked a bit :)

OH CRAP IRENE’S BACC

john: “you flirted with sherlock holmes? “someone jellyyyy ;)

OOHH THIS IS THE IRENE JOHNLOCK SCEEENE!!!!!!! :D

irene: “you jealous?” john: “we’re not a couple!” irene: “yes you are.” ;)

john: “i’m not actually gay” irene: “well i am” IRENE LESBIAN GOOD!!!!

irene: “look at us both” (or perhaps bi like john could be...?)

biiiiiig door creak

UGH american... >:(

someone comfort mrs. hudson!! :(

sherlock: “take away your boys. it makes up for too much stupid in the room” he’s surrounded by idiots...

OMG SHERLOCK PEPPER SPRAYYY

awww he’s comforting mrs. hudson :)

john comfort! ♥

the guy’s tied up like the foody moody in bob’s burgers cool :D

awww mrs. hudson’s in shock :(

sherlock: “mrs. hudson leaving baker street? england would fall!” awww! :D

john says ‘alive’ like an irish guy :D

OMG IT’S NEW YEAR!!!!

happy violin new year! :D

sherlock’s xraying a phone lol

john said ‘in your bedroom’ BUT IT’S HIS AND SHERLOCK’S

and irene’s! :o

sherlock: “who wants to kill you?” irene: “killers” lol :D

sherlock said ‘the strand’!!!! :D

irene looks better without lipstick :)

the code is ‘i am SHERlocked’ HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW???

random john middle name reveal lol :D

FOR BABY NAMES NOOOO

john’s is hamish and eugene’s (from tangled) is hoarace... it’s the weird h middle name club! :D

sesame street time :D

...what in the world did sherlock just spout

john said ‘flight double o 7′ JAMES BOND REFERENCE????

MYCROFT IS SAYING ‘BOND ERE IS GO’ yep that’s bond!!!

sherlock didn’t notice john was gone for 2 hours lol :D

ooh sherlock says ‘second world war’ instead of ‘world war two’ :o

NONONONONNONONONONNOOOOOOOOO

sherlock: “that’s not the end of the world, that’s mrs. hudson” lol :D

mycroft: “that’s the deceased, always late” hey yeah :o

WOAH HE JUST CALLED SHERLOCK NAIVE AND IRENE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS :o

oh hey irene

irene: “jim moiarty sends his love” ha ha funny love :D

WAIT MOIARTY CALLS SHERLOCK A VIRGIN??? :o

THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS NOOOOO

bada bing BADA BOOM!!!!!!!!!

wowza it’s been 6 months since they met???

sherlock: “sorry about dinner” *leaves* yesss :)

i’m glad they didn’t kiss and just held hands that was nice to make johnlock dreams fly :)

OMG IRENE LEGIT DIED THIS TIME BY BEHEADING!!!!! :o

john told sherlock she was in amurica good :)

lockie wants her camera phone aww :(

way better than any hand holding irene and sherlock did! ♥

awww irene texted sherlock goodbye :(

ew the irene moan one last time...

sherlock laughed and called her ‘a woman... the woman’ awww :)

that was a bittersweet ending! :)

aaaand it’s over!

next time... ;)

that was a great season premiere!!! irene was kind of cool (i like how she and sherlock were just friends) and the mystery was engaging as always. and of course... it was nice finally hearing lockie’s violin!! here’s to next time! :D

[bobasheebaby]

100 Boy Meets World Prompts

Cory

1 “And I just want to ask one thing: What's this?” “No, NAME, we were just --“ “Undapants!”

2 “They want you to take the rolls!”

3 “Please pay at the register, honey. And tipping is not a city in China.”

4 “NAME, you're trying to seduce me.”

5 “No, I don't get hit by a bus.” “Why not?” “Because I use the crosswalks, I memorize the bus schedules, and if I've got a husband/wife like NAME, I ain't leavin' the house.”

6 “NAME, just face it, you're afraid to make a commitment.” “I'm not afraid to make a commit -- I've been with NAME for fifteen years!” “Ah, they've been good years.”

7 “Wait, is this you or NAME talking?” “He/She decided we're one person.”

8 “This is raw, hot, unfiltered passion, and that kiss opened the gates.” “There are no gates.” “Oh, there's gates.”

9 “You were one of those kids that enjoy getting spanked, weren't you?” “I always deserved it.”

10 “But I've never failed before.” “There's a first time for everything.” “That argument doesn't get you anywhere with him/her.”

11 “You're not my father/mother, NAME.” “If I were your father/mother, I'd spank you, NAME. Because that's what you deserve. A big spanking! Now take down your pants.

12 “How could you possibly get into this much trouble in one day?” “It didn't take me the whole day.”

13 “It's us against him/her. Living on the edge, babe.” “I like when you call me babe.”

14 “Maybe I'm dreaming. Pinch me! ... Not on the butt.” “Sorry, it was just right there.”

15 “Gee, NAME, I'm looking around the room trying to see if anyone asked your opinion. I don't see anyone. Is anyone? No?”

16 “Did you hear how I referred to myself in the third person for emphasis?” “I thought that was a nice touch.” “NAME did too.”

17 “Finally someone understands my particular genuis.”

18 “First of all, there is a Whipped Magazine. I didn't subscribe; somehow they found me.”

19 “You know, you're a very sexy boy/girl, NAME.” “Really? I'm a sexy boy/girl. Thanks. I can't wait to tell NAME.”

20 “I'm in! Those idiots let me in.”

21 “Well I am shocked and dismayed.” “Well now you can't be both. You be shocked, I'll be dismayed.”

22 “Wear something of mine. What do you want, a jacket or a hat?” “A jacket. I'm very prone to hat head. Sometimes I get it without even wearing a hat.”

23 “So how was your weekend?” “Ah, one of the all time greats. I slept in, I watched TV, I played video games. And Sunday I took it easy.”

24 “I'm supposed to see other people. You're supposed to wait until I die.”

25 “This is so great. I wish NAME was here.”

Shawn

26 “Use a mirror, babe.”

27 “You know, NAME, NAME said something interesting before that got me thinking.” “Wait a minute. NAME got you thinking?” “He/She seemed well rested.”

28 “You listened to NAME.” “Oh my God, I listened to NAME.”

29 “I mean, NAME, you're much cooler than I am. At least I thought you were.” “Trust me, I am.”

30 “Hey, if I had things my way, NAME would walk in the day after the honeymoon and have the whole thing annulled.”

31 “You know, I'd give up on them but I don't think they'd notice.” “What?”

32 “He’s/She's your ex. Let me spell that for you, X.”

33 “Please get out and don't ever come back.”

34 “Yeah, so it's like you're a couple and we're a couple, and we're exactly the same except that --“ “You're married and we're happy.”

35 “Well what kind of stupid thing was it for you to care whether I put you back together again? What are you, Humpty Dumpty?”

36 “I hate myself.” “You're not alone.”

37 “NAME, his/her lover.” “Oh, very tasteful honey. Did you hear that, NAME?” “NAME, his/her lover.” “Oh, shut up Yoko.”

38 “You're a disgrace to the entire back row.”

39 “You don't think I'm a geek?” “Of course not.” “You think I'm cool?” “Of course not.”

40 “You're thinking too much. Do what I do, don't think.”

41 “You sure that's three cheeses? Because I only see two. Where's the Gouda, pal?”

42 “Don't move. Maybe he/she doesn't see us.

43 “Oh, man, I gotta do something now. Think.” “You gotta think, NAME.” “Ow.” “Thinking cramp?” “Yeah.” “I get those, too.”

44 “Look, NAME, I've been doing some thinking. Ow!”

45 “We have to come up with a plan.” “You know that's so crazy it just may work.” “What may work?” “The plan.” “I didn't tell you what it was.” “That way they can't get it out of me.” “Get what out of you?” “Nice try.”

Topanga

46 “We've waited for this moment all our lives. What are you thinking?” “I can't believe NAME’s not here.” “I love you too.”

47 “NAME!” “Oh, no.” “Oh, don't you run away from me, you old goat.”

48 “NAME. My dear little butt-head. May I call you butt-head?” “Sure.”

49 “I don't want to offend any one and my family's feelings are the most important thing to me. But if she thought I was getting married in that freaking monstrosity, she must have been hitting the sauce.”

50 “Have you looked at him/her?” “Okay, so he’s/she's pretty, he’s/she's tall, he/she drives a new red convertible. Oh heck, I'd go out with him/her.”

51 “NAME, you transparent moron. If you sigh one more time, I'm going to give you something to sigh about.”

52 “You know I could take you.” “You don't want to dance with me, boy/girl.” “You don't see me running, do you?” “Bring it on, NAME.” “It's on.”

53 “That's it. That's it, I've had it! I don't want to put the Sweet & Lo in my purse.”

Eric

54 “Hey, little bro/sis. Life's tough, get a helmet.”

55 “So I said to myself, NOT THEIR NAME --“ “NOT THEIR NAME?” “That's what I call myself.”

56 “I'll do it. I'm the oldest.” “Actually, I'm the oldest.” “Yeah, but I've lived the longest.”

57 “I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I know I'm gonna be a good person who cares about people. And I blame you for that.”

58 “I sort of thought you guys would keep my room the way it is.” “Actually, NICKNAME, for that I think you have to be unexpectedly killed by a truck or something.”

59 “What are you going to do when your hair grows back?” “It's not going to grow back. I got my receipt!”

60 “I'm dead.” “I'm dead.” “I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying.”

61 “NAME, one word: You're with me.”

62 “NAME, I think he’s/she's a witch. And not a good witch like Glinda, a bad witch like with the monkeys.”

63 “NAME, what are you doing to me? We had a deal. You and FRIEND are so perfect for each other you should be married!” “I'm not ready.”

64 “Oh, look at that. You wobble like a weeble!”

65 “Don't you see what you're going through? This is your middle east crisis.” “Middle age crisis.”

66 “Of all the nights to fight, I mean Halloween, this is the one holiday that's supposed to bring loved ones together.”

67 “How can I let it go when it haunts my very thought?”

68 “By the way, that last paper you wrote, I couldn't stop thinking about it.” “That's because it was smut! ‘My lips quivered.’ -- it was filth. It was screamy filth.”

69 “You can't do that, NAME.” “Why are you calling me NAME?” “Because that's your human name.”

70 “Stay out of this, NAME, it's a one man/woman mission. ... Will you help me?”

Mr. Feeny

71 “Don't you mean ‘do well’?” “No, I mean do good.”

72 “You are the worst babysitter that ever lived.” “And your children are the spawn of Satan.”

73 “I was expecting you. Today, tomorrow, yesterday. It was only a matter of time.”

74 “How are we supposed to get home?” “Wait 'til it's dark. Then run, very quickly.”

75 “You're still moving away? Ah, for the love of Mike, stop with the mind games, man.” “You know this is the reason I can't sell my house.”

76 “I know my man/woman.” “It's like we have one brain.” “Yes, well. That's too easy.”

77 “Ho, ho. Is that the stupid idea train coming 'round the bend?”

78 “Oh, I think you're much more stupid than you give yourselves credit for.”

79 “Well, since you're not set on a name for the baby, I, myself, have always been partial to THEIR NAME.”

80 “I'm not responsible for Dream THEIR NAME!”

81 “For years I've seen you give advice to everybody, but never me. Why is that?!” “You don't ask.”

82 “The guy on our couch eating our beer nuts.” “Mmm, nutty.”

83 “Wait a minute. Maybe we should all just think for a second.” “No, NAME and I tried that. It doesn't work.”

Jack

84 “You don't know what it's like to live here, man. You don't.” “Why do you stay?” “Because ... he’s/she's my friend. Because I like him/her. And no matter what crazy things he/she says or does, I still like him/her. God help me I still like him/her.”

85 “You know, NAME, I'm having trouble opening this jar.” “That's because it's a can.”

86 “I can't be poor. I'm too good looking to be poor.”

87 “I would never pay for that shirt.”

88 “He's/She’s too passive. He/She needs to voice his/her opinions more.” “Ooh, NAME, what do you think about that?” “I don't know.”

Angela

89 “You guys are our closest friends, but we are sick and tired of you!”

90 “Because I'd rather give him/her attention for acting normal.” “Oh, honey. We know that's never going to happen.”

91 “Let me ask you this, in all the time you were with NAME, did he ever call out the name S/O NAME?” “No, but he called out the name PERSON ANAME.” “In what context?”

92 “No, I was just a little surprised seeing you here, eating my food, which is mine.” — Rachel

Alan

93 “It's quarter after three. Only creeps and wierdos are up now.” [person c enters]

94 “Anything happens to NAME, I'll kill you.” “You like him/her better than me.” [person a nods]

95 “I have an incomplete future.” “Of course you have an incomplete future. The future's always incomplete. When it's complete, people tend to call it the past.”

96 “You chose FRIEND over your own flesh and blood? You're dead to me.”

Amy

97 “I don't like it when you call him/her an idiot, NAME.” “I didn't call him/her anything.” “Oh, well I guess I must have thought it in my head.”

98 “NAME, we used you as a decoy. We knew you'd be stupid so we used it against you.”

99 “What happened? I used to be good.” “NAME, I say this with love and respect. You were never good.”

100 “We're just asking you to get us off the hook.” “No. This is your hook, you're going to hang there like the worms you are.”

[hobbitsetal]

Prodigal son s1e1 live-blog, for @loubuttons and @thisbibliomaniac because the fact I’m watching this show is y’all’s fault. But under a cut, because I’m nice like that.

his dad looks a bit manic...and saying “we’re the same” doesn’t bode well, given what I know about the show. also 80% sure he’s got gum disease, going by how red his gums looked in that smile.

Serial killer! Makes sense!

He’s distracted by the cicadas. Five seconds and I see what the fuss is; this is one precious boi.

Brrzap; that taser looked painful. Ooh, and cue the freaky childhood flashbacks! His dad is clearly the worst and this poor baby needs a better relationship than this to cling to.

YOU LIE, YOU SICK THING. THERE *ARE* MONSTERS AND YOU ARE ONE.

faces in a jar. That’s no bueno. Bad guy with a gun, also very no bueno. “Someone breaks us.” tbh my friend, I believe too strongly in original sin to agree with that.

oh yikes, the sheriff. Even bad guys have humanity.

“I get it, you don’t punch a sheriff.” He is a baby, but yes also a little stupid.

Oh hey, Lou Diamond Phillips is in this!! AND Michael sheen! LDP was one of the best parts of “Stargate Universe.”

He’s still friends with his dad. This is heartbreaking and extremely unhealthy. I feel stupid for just now recognizing Michael Sheen is the dad. He plays warm and sympathetic and psychotic equally well and it’s frankly impressive. plus that’s an A+ beard.

Soooo homebody has Severe Issues. That was not a good nightmare. But “I can see clearly now” is a fabulous song.

His sister seems like a good egg. I am HERE for good sibling relationships!! Plus she has a killer outfit on. If I could be an actress, I would be one for the wardrobe alone. She has gorgeous eyes, too.

Oh heyyyy it’s LDP! “Spooked puppy dog look” yep I like him. But his sister lied ;_; so much for good sibling relationships. I mean, yeah she’s trying to protect him, but still.

“psychologist, forensic profiler, acquired taste.” I love Gil and I love Gil’s relationship with Malcolm and I already love JT’s relationship with Malcolm. “So you’re a necrophilic?” Iconic. We stan one rude boi.

also can I just point out that Gil’s outfit is frickin classy?

A copycat killer...copying his dad. Welp, let’s just dive into the emotional anguish, shall we?

Gil, you trash bucket, you KNEW. you KNEW the killer was copying his dad! And now you’re saying you’re not asking him to talk to his dad, but you’re definitely asking.

“It wasn’t a healthy relationship.” Okay, at least you know it.

His mother does not look old enough for two kids in their late 20s. Aaaand she’s trying to rub his life. Rude. He’s a grown man, woman, mind your business and shove your pills where the sun don’t shine.

Don’t drink the tea, Malcolm. Pls. I beg.

Oooookay, the coroner is mildly insane. Which makes she and malcom would instantly get along.

welp, we’re diving into BDSM. I am Uncomfortable™️. And I’m pretty sure the killer is at the dom’s apartment, if not the killer himself.

“My profile’s wrong.” Whoopsie.

Nico is a victim sitting on a bomb. Well that’s dandy. God bless Malcolm and his complete lack of social skills.

“I’m gonna chop off your hand!” UM??? Aaaand the bomb just went off. A’ight, I’m hooked.

HOLY FRICK HE ACTUALLY DID IT, THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN. “I’ve got to give them a hand.” What even is this show, holy merciful smokes.

Oh no, his hand is shaking. MAYBE HES THINKING ABOUT CHOPPING HANDS OFF, GEEZ.

His mother is trying to set him up. Hoo boy. This is an awkward family dinner. And ainsley sold him out without hesitation, nice. No don’t say he’s a copycat!! Ainsley is a reporter, don’t say—heck. This is going to end Very Badly. Pls malcom no.

oh gee, mom knows the victims’ names. That’s heartbreaking. I will give this show major points for exploring the fallout of a serial killer’s actions for his family.

Screw his father to hell and back for being a kind and gentle dad while also being a serial killer. That’s just messed up.

And we get another nightmare, that’s splendid. That poor detective who just got clotheslined. Bless her for hugging him till he’s awake again.

Poor Gil, dealing with a hyper frantic boi who is Not, I repeat, Not in Control whatever he thinks.

Oh here we go, he’s off to talk to daddy dipstick. This is gonna be a thing, clearly, where he has to ask his dad for help solving cases.

Do not, you horrible waste of humanity, look so pleased about your copycat. Is it a prison guard copying him...? How did he know so quickly the pages were stolen?

HE’S STILL SEEING PATIENTS?! How did he not get his license revoked for KILLING PEOPLE?! This is stupid. He’s enjoying this. I hate him. I hate him for being charismatic and charming and interested in his son.

Huh. He’s scared his son won’t leave. Welp, there’s our series hook: he promises to come back and see his dad. At least he got what he needed.

Malcom running into his mom at Berkhead’s party is frankly hilarious. Also I suspect the wife rather than the husband. She’s probably jealous.

Oh yep, private conversation upstairs AND her husband’s upstairs! So I was wrong, the wife is the fourth victim, which makes sense given Malcom’s refined profile. Okeydokey, I can work with how this show handles plot twists.

Dani’s in danger. How do we fix it? By strolling in like a boss. Malcom, you absolute nutcase. “You’re still in control.” Bro. Broski. Bromonid.

Is that a knife?? Aw Dani, you were so close! MALCOM NO threatening to use the paralytic on yourself is...I mean, it’s working, but also BRO YOU ARE NOT OKAY. why are you looking at Dani as you confess your motivation for being a profiler? Why are you begging Carter to kill you. This is bad. ooh also title drop!

Enter Gil!! Intriguing bookend with the beginning; also props to the guy playing Malcom for capturing that bitter disappointment at not dying.

Oh yikes, Gil was almost a Surgeon’s victim. And Malcom was the one who called him...makes sense with the nightmare and Gil and Malcom’s connection makes sense.

Does he eat a candy every time he solves a case? That’s adorable ;_;

Hmm, so his dad is pulling strings behind the scenes. Yep, I hate him. Aaaand now he’s emotionally manipulating his son and offering him help to maintain that phenomenally unhealthy relationship. Ugh. Smug piece of dirt.

Heck. This is my quarantine binge now.

[lordvonthunderporkvi]

and here we go another 20 pages of thoughts on episode 4 dear gods why am i like this

It took me four hours to play through episode 3 because i kept stopping to take notes but is that going to slow down my notes this time? Nope didn’t think so ready to waste another four hours of my life on this game yes i am

Aight who’s narrating this time

ooh it’s Radar again

“Be careful when you get close to an admin” sound advice Radar

Oh calm down jack i wanted to save nurm I really did but it was either leave lluna, the animal without coherent thought, or nurm, the villager who asked me to leave him behind

Geez jack i’m sorry about your husband calm down

Wait did we not tell radar that the admin’s name is romeo

Apparently not i guess

Oh dear notch xara i’m so sorry

OH NO BABY I’M SORRY-

Holy frick what was that

Oh it’s the enderman

OH NO RADAR

DONT LOOK IT IN THE EYES WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Aw lluna helped me up

It’s the ninja

Nice radar knocked the camera over

Aw radar “not asking for me cause i’m tough” you’re so cute

Oh no

I’m so sorry xara

WAIT THERE’S ANOTHER TERMINAL

Hey you know what jack if you keep disrespecting lluna like this i’m gonna have to poke out your other eye

Good jack apologize

Oh no baby don’t cry

RADAR THAT IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD HAVE SAID RIGHT NOW HAVE SOME SYMPATHY YOUR BED WILL PROBABLY BE GONE TOO WHEN YOU GET BACK TO BEACONTOWN DON’T YOU DARE-

PETRA YOU TOO REALLY?

COME ON GUYS HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR HOME WAS IN SHREDS

No you aren’t Petra you are certainly not being “nice” if that’s what you consider to be “nice” then we’ve got a problem

Thank you Radar

Gods Xara I am so sorry

We’ll avenge your bed Xara

FINALLY WE’RE LEARNING ABOUT THE TERMINALS

THEY’RE PORTALS

Yes Xara where does it go

Where did it go Xara we know it’s broken

Oh Xara I’m so sorry

“He loved birch.” I feel so sad

Oh we get to find something personal to Romeo

What is it like a potato or something

Nice good luck Xara

Screw off Jack

Take the gunpowder that’s gonna be useful

Fudge it’s the enderman

RADAR COME ON

Ooh is it porkchop

Nope Romeo smells like cinnamon not sulfur sorry boys

Fudge they’re annoying

I’m not that heavy it’s not that much work

It’s not like we have anything interesting in our inventories Romeo cleared them when he sent us to the Institute

Oh right we have weapons

Why can’t we just tell them we don’t have swords why isn’t that an option it’s not like they’ve been watching us this whole time

They haven’t been watching us this whole time right?

I don’t think they have

Oh it is PorkChop

Holy frick they’re annoying

That was rude and unnecessary Radar take Petra’s hand next time

At least you’re alive be grateful Jack

Oh it’s so pretty

Ooh who’s that she’s cute

FRED

THEY KNEW FRED

Who the heck is Binta

Ooh it’s a bunch of people

Faithful Friends of Fred heck yeah

Fred-o-clock wow

Gosh Radar is adorable

Hi Binta

Ooh we have to win the trivia competition

This is really sad Fred sounded amazing and now we’ll never get to meet him because Romeo is a horrible person

Couldn’t we just ask Xara she knew Fred very well

This dog is so cute

Can i adopt it

That was completely useless but seriously adorable I regret nothing

Sticks nice

It’s okay Petra I know you’re you and that’s all that matters

Yep that’s me

Actually that is incorrect Xara is the most Faithful Friend of Fred ™

Ok his favorite tool is a diamond hoe I’ll keep that in mind

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Oh no no it’s okay i’m not going to hurt you don’t worry i promise i’m a nice stranger

“Like water...in a bucket...becomes the bucket!” yeah that makes sense Radar what the heck

Good idea you be ready Radar

No of course he won’t we won’t let him

Heck yeah I’m scary

Radar stop this you are not a thug

“One! Hngg… Two!  Hngg- and a half!” a child after my own heart

Radar stop this please

Willy looks kinda like Soren

Ok Fred’s cherished pet is a chicken got it

Ooh a puzzle

Don’t kill the chicken just play with him

The chicken’s name is Waffles nice

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Aw I’m sorry about your hands Wanda

Oh I have plenty of sticks don’t worry Wanda

The real question is how do all these people know so much about Fred and still the only person who ever wins the trivia contest is Kent

His favorite color was Lapis Blue ™

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Jesse wears blue underwear

Wanda does too okay

What what just happened why’d the game close

It better have saved my progress

What I’m all the way back here?

Come on

Okay I am sure Romeo never said “We come in peace” to Fred

Wait no a fireworks display is a very bad idea you’ll draw the attention of the giant enderman and if any of you are like Radar you’ll be staring directly at it any you’ll provoke it that’s a horrible idea Binta

Fred’s favorite color is lapis blue I’m sure he’d love Radar’s bandanna

I miss Xara

Those hoes look pretty iron to me Hilda

Maybe it’s just the light

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

I’m not going to hurt you Cam

Welp now I’m imagining Lukas seeing RomeoJesse in their underwear and saying “you’re not the real Jesse Jesse only wears lapis blue underwear this is POWDER BLUE”

“The slammer” Radar please stop

His name is Waffles Willy I’m smarter than you think

Blocco the dog

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Wanda you cannot paint with your feet while you are wearing shoes come on

I have learned a Fred Fact ™

Also a Jesse Fact ™

And we’re all caught up

Please don’t crash again

Fred looked a lot different than I thought

Stop telling stories Jack don’t you want to get Nurm back come on

Okay is there absolutely nothing else I can do

No there isn’t

Okay let’s go talk to Binta

I really don’t think I’m ready I learned that Fred liked the most useless item in the game, he has a chicken named after my favorite food, and Jesse’s underwear are lapis blue I really don’t think that’s enough information

Oh well I’ve already started

Kent more like Salt

Come on Kent I’ve survived and F-bomb, defeated a Witherstorm, survived a fall into the Void, survived a killer’s mansion, survived a useful computer, beaten a weirdly good at fighting 60-year-old man, survived Romeo’s sea temple, survived Romeo’s icy palace of despair, made it out of the Sunshine Institute, survived the giant freaking enderman and I’ve managed to lead a town and romance Lukas along the way- wait what

You’re not intimidating Kent

Oh no I’m not good at building things

Okay this better be good enough

Fred is dead Xara watched him die guys come on

Okay thank gosh

Okay it’s a draw good enough

I thought you were doing something different this year what do you mean “in the history of this competition”

Fred, dead, bred- I’m sensing a theme

The same color blue as my underwear

I am good

Oh it’s a diamond hoe

It was Waffles the chicken

Nice we’re talking about Benedict

I don’t know any more trivia Xara please come help me

The most Faithful Friend of Fred ™ was Xara she better get her butt in here and help me

BIRCH

AH YEAH THANKS XARA YOU’RE THE BEST

I am smart

I am the most Faithful Friend of Fred ™

So what would’ve happened if I lost that competition

Oh well doesn’t matter now because I won

Wow pajamas okay

Oh no now I feel really bad I should’ve given them to Kent

Oh well Kent’s won plenty He’s gotten the pajamas plenty of times

Thanks Binta

Ooh I can jump on the bed fun

Jesse you dork oh my notch

ANOTHER FRICKIN BOOK BY SOREN

Soren is Romeo pass it on

Oh no that’s actually possible

They both have red hair

Are you kidding that’s Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Wow okay just a random button in Fred’s closet

Nice a secret room

Romeoburg wow

I really have no other words except...wow, he named his town “Romeoburg”

Surely it has an author someone had to have written it

Maybe it’s like Tom Riddle’s journal and when you write in it it writes the same words in another version of itself for someone else to see

Aw “I’m glad I had Xara and Romeo with me” that is so sweet

“I don’t know what Romeo wants anymore.  It hurts.  All I wanted was the three of us, together.”  that is actually the saddest line in the game you can fight me on this

“We weren’t just happy there.  We were home.”  Okay I better go fight myself because that definitely tops the last one as saddest line in the game

Yeah Binta what’s wrong

Oh well I kinda know Fred’s old best friend and she told me

Fred’s Xara

Xara is there something you’re not telling us

I mean other than everything

How freaking long has it been since the admin war

Well gee thanks Binda

This is making me so sad I want to see the three admins back before Romeo went all Romeo

Don’t just announce this to the crowd Jesse gods

What do you need Binda

Okay sure I’ll take you with me

“The needle points home.”  I’m about to fight myself again that’s the saddest-

Fireworks are a bad idea

Okay bye Jack be safe

Notch Petra please don’t be mad

Nice spit fight

Good to see Jack’s warming up to Lluna

Stop yelling Radar

Ray

Don’t provoke her Radar that is a bad idea

Slowness potion-

WHERE’S THE LAST TIME WE SAW A SLOWNESS POTION?  THAT’S RIGHT, WITH IVOR AT THE END OF S1 EPISODE 2.

It’s the ninja again

This is really bad

Oh crap

I’M WEAPONLESS

WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THAT IMAGERY BEFORE?  THAT’S RIGHT, WITH IVOR AT THE END OF S1 EPISODE 2.

NO LET ME GO

Jesse you dork

He’s a shadow

I WEAR BLUE UNDERWEAR

THAT’S ACTUALLY AN OPTION I’M SO HAPPY

THAT WAS GREAT

...Ivor?

IT’S HIM

IVOR IVOR IVOR

HE’S BAAAAACK

He’s so happy

Where is Harper

HE’S SO WONDERFUL

HUGS

Yeah where is she by the way

Nope not me

I’m a ninja is a perfect excuse

I’ll hurry Ivor don’t worry

Ooh is that Romeoburg

Oh who’s that

I love her already wow

That was kind of mean Jesse don’t elbow Radar he’s just a bean

She’s just as much of a dork as me I love her

“Let’s take these invaders out!”  to lunch or…

Is there actually an army

They sound like they’re bluffing

I am not an audio disk I am Jesse with the blue underwear

Soup okay

Okay I was right there’s no army

Ooh a challenge

Challenge accepted

Val and Soup okay

We didn’t exactly escape the Institute Xara escaped the Institute and she took us with her and Xara’s not here anymore this is a bad idea Jesse

Soup is great

It’s a llama

The heck are they doing

Wow spit on me okay

Jesse you say this like she’s a human who has any clue what you’re saying she’s not a human she is a llama she does not have coherent thought

I have to build something again are you kidding I’m not good at building stuff

What if I build a Romeo

I don’t have any gray blocks dang it I can’t build Romeo

That thing isn’t going to have any effect on visitors but whatever good enough

No it won’t Val it’s a stack of quartz blocks with a couple redstone blocks thrown in there

Armor yeah

The names of this armor are gold

“Dangerous...but also damaged, so it’s more relatable.” just like me

“Please don’t hit me”

The name is “Llama brown-ish” that’s not a very inspired name Soup

I’m going with Please Don’t Hit Me

Best armor I ever put on

Radar no you need a shirt

I look great in this armor wow

Lluna wants to stay with her mate nice

PETRA COME ON YOU DON’T STEP ON THE PRESSURE PLATE GODS

Oh it’s a means of extinguishing yourself

That means we might be set on fire though

Oh well whatever we’ll be fine

Oh no that’s sad

Let’s not pull the mystery levers that’s a bad idea

No I’m not Romeo

Aw that was a very cute little giggle

Another freaking golem are you kidding me

We can’t even hit the golem that’s just great

Water perfect

Gee thanks Romeo

SIX HUNDRED STAGES?

COME ON ROMEO YOU COULDN’T HAVE MADE THIS ANY EASIER COULD YOU

Or maybe those three levers will summon a Giant Golem ™

This soundtrack is great massive props to Antimo and Welles

STOP RADAR YOU’RE GONNA MESS IT UP CALM DOWN AND THINK PLEASE

well crap

Dear notch Romeo why are you like this

YES YOU ARE, WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE KILLED FRED?

That’s a big “maybe” Jesse

WHY IS THIS SO HARD ROMEO COME ON

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, ROMEO?

Haha it’s Mettaton except a giant freaking magma golem

GUNPOWDER

Alright I’m ready for some more riDICULOUSLY HARD FIGHT SEQUENCES

DEAR NOTCH AND I THOUGHT WITHERSTORM-TRACTOR-BEAM-CRAFTING WAS STRESSFUL

I know how to make tnt Petra come on

You’re surrounded in fire and lava don’t tell me you’re that clueless Jesse come on

We are not friends Romeo

It’s llunaaa

This entire game is a feels trip bye

Beautiful birch trees

Radar you are so adorable

Poor Radar those are gonna be some hospital-level burns on his feet

“For Fred” -feels incoming-

Romeo really cared about his friends what changed

This honestly makes me so sad

...is Fred still here?

No he can’t be Xara watched him die

This is so sad

Why doesn’t Xara’s frame have anything in it?

...Petra are you okay?

Something seems..wrong

Jesse used to read all the time Jesse’s a fangirl pass it on

Petra?  What’s wrong why are you crying?

Okay i understand being really sad about stories about puppies but that’s not what’s wrong

“Puppies just make me really sad, okay?”  a girl after my own heart

Petra my baby

Same color as your underwear Jesse

It is freaking important Petra

You are not okay Petra

This music is so beautiful and yet heartbreaking all at once

Red for Romeo

Ooh something happened

We have Xara’s bed now we promised her we’d avenge it and we did

This is the saddest game I’ve ever played

The key to defeating Romeo…?

#potato451?

POTATO

Dear notch so that’s what the potato means

Wow okay Petra where’s all this potato hate coming from what did the potato do to deserve this

Which terminal?  The one in the sea temple?

Yeah probably the one in the sea temple...right

This entire episode is just a bundle of feels

I’m crying a little bit this is so sad

I’m sensing some similarities between Romeo and Petra a little bit

Petra I do want to be your friend what are you talking about

I’ll be right by your side Petra

This is the saddest freaking game

This game is so incredible

Oh hey there Xara

I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I SAID BUT NOOOO, THEY COULDN’T LISTEN TO ME

Well...yeah Radar, she used to be an admin so of course she’s sounding admin-ish

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) DO NOT SPEAK OF NURM THAT WAY, XARA

She is acting exactly like Romeo this is a very bad sign

Alright ready to cry again yes I am

Everyone thinks it’s weird Petra

Of course Xara

fuDGING ENDERMAN

NO

NO STOP

I TOLD YOU THE FIREWORKS WERE A BAD- UGH

Nope Radar those are monsters

Yeah Xara you go

RADAR

RADAR STOP WITH THIS “I will not run anymore” GET OUT OF THERE RUN

crap it’s got me

Radar it is an e n d e r m a n of course it doesn’t have any decency

Wow it actually let me go

JACK

Thank you Jack

Hug everyone yeah

More hugs nice

YEAH BINTA

Are Soup and Val coming too

Soup and Val should come too

“Nothing like a little pressure to make building fun”  truer words have never been spoken

LET’S GO HOME

WELL OF COURSE IT IS AFTER YOU RADAR YOU KEEP FREAKING LOOKING AT IT

radAR NO-

YES YOU HELPED DEFEAT THAT MAGMA GOLEM BUT YOU CAN’T JUST STAY DOWN HERE

ex-freaking-cuse me?

I can’t just leave him behind

But at the same time I’ve been so loving and supportive of him all along and if I abandoned him now it would be cruel

But I also told Xara “no one gets left behind” and if i leave Radar behind she would just be like “you said ‘no one gets left behind’!  If you were going to leave someone behind you should’ve just left Jack and friends behind and not attracted the enderman with that firework in the first place!”

But I also promised the Faithful Friends of Fred ™ that I would get them out and I can’t just go back on that promise

…

...I’ll come back for him right?

Oh dear notch this game

I’ll be back for you Radar

Until then, stay alive

Make them taste your bravery

Radar your arms are tiny

Come on guys

Come on Xara

What about Xara come on Jesse whatever happened to “no one gets left behind”

Hey we’re in the old Order’s temple!

..are we in the old Order’s temple

o h n o

That’s not the old Order’s temple

That is the Order hall in Beacontown

Nice lluna

Oh okay good it is the old Order’s temple

DON’T SPEAK ABOUT RADAR, PETRA

WE’LL GET HIM BACK OKAY

um

What are those fireworks

Why is the music suddenly really foreboding

Oh no this is probably really bad

wHY ARE THE CLOUDS RED

ROMEO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

no

No no no no no

Romeo

Romeo I’m going to freaking demolish you

Also where the heck is Xara why hasn’t she come through yet

WHAAT

THAT’S JUST IT?

WHAT

NO

WHY

S T O P T H A T C O M E B A C K H E R E

lukas!!

..Lukas that’s not Jesse

um

w h a t

no

how is that the end

come on

Screw this gameeee

I’m gonna actually scream  how is that the end

I’m gonna kill Romeo

And w h e r e i s x a r a