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soyeonsbabygirl · 4 months

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Hi Authornim can i request for a story/image for sana based on the song we can't be friends by ariana grande. i would appreciate it thank you

You have no idea what you just asked but be careful what you wished for dear anon :)

ExFriends | Sana Minatozaki x reader

You sat in your apartment staring at the wall. You were the leader of a new girl group, you guys had experienced such big success from debut and now you guys now you guys had gotten yet another win. You guys were even considered nations girl group, practically unstoppable. Despite all this success you couldn’t help but feel…empty, you were proud of the success that you and your members had but it all felt bitter.

You looked to the wall, filled with memories of your old group that you had first debuted in, the trainees you had trained with who either faded from your life or didn’t get to see as much due to busy schedules. The songs you sang with your previous members and the performances you gave with them, all these memories hit you terribly like a truck causing tears to well in your eyes.

You looked at one picture of you and someone who had impacted your life the most. The one person who constantly stayed in your memory no matter how much you tried to forget her, someone that you had trained with as well as debuted with, your first love Sana Minatozaki. Who was also your first heartbreak.

You still remember the day you met Sana a year prior before you two would go on SIXTEEN. You saw her in the cafeteria sitting next to another girl, due to language barriers you guys couldn’t communicate with words but just your presence proved to make them both smile. You were focused on Sana’s smile and the way it lit up a room immediately bringing whoever it was comfort. You loved spending hours with her in the dance practice room admiring the talent she possessed but you also noticed how when she danced she almost seemed to match up with Momo.

Besides that you still loved the feeling you got when you were around Sana, almost like she was your home. You knew from this day that Sana would be a big figure in your life if only you knew at the time what that would mean.

As the years went on, all 10 of you would go on to take the world by storm gaining fame not just in Korea but globally. It was scary at first but Sana convinced you it would all be ok which instantly relaxed you. You were sitting in the studio by yourself at the time, Chaeyoung and Dahyun having left to do whatever it was they said they needed to do. You had already made a beat for a song but were stuck on the lyrics feeling the mental block that most songwriters tend to get when writing songs.

You didn’t even realize when Sana had come in til she playfully draped her arms over your shoulders lightly massaging them, you looked up to be met with the smile you had grown to love. Your eyes lingered more on her lips causing you to glance away “You’ve been in here for hours ynnie” she took one the chairs scooting it close to you, she placed her hand on your thigh making you fight the urge to bite your lip. “I’ve been stuck on this song for a while, I don’t know what it is.”

You didn’t notice how you clicked the top of your pen while you spoke attempting to focus til Sana’s beautiful fingers took you out your focused like trance placing them on top of yours removing the pen from your hands. You turned your body to face her as you felt her fingers massaging your hands a gesture that was so small but made you feel as if everything else didn't matter. You took in her playful smile and the way she looked at you that made you blush.

No matter how many times she would look at you like that it still caused butterflies in your stomach, you admired her lips that looked so kissable in this moment, the way her brown hair fit her complexion in the best way. You didn’t even realized you spaced out til her phone started ringing bringing you back. She answered it right away with such eagerness.

You felt a bit disappointed that the moment between you two was interrupted but that disappointment was filled with jealousy when you realized who it was she was talking to. “Momoring! your insane you just ate lunch with me 2 hours ago and your already wondering what to eat again!” She giggled the way she always does when she's with Momo, her smile changing to one she only has when it comes to Momo filling you with a slight bit of sadness.

. Her and Momo have known each other longer but it seemed always as if there was always something going on there, an underlying connection that they didn’t have with everyone else. When she left, you found yourself thinking about the moment and imaging what it would be like to have her look at you the way she looked at Momo. Almost like she was stuck in your head.

You were with the rest of your members celebrating your comeback “FANCY”, all of you drinking shots after shots to really celebrate which eventually led you guys where you were now. Truth or dare. The game was filled with laughs and very risqué dares, from Jihyo talking about all the people she's kissed to Mina giving Jeongyeon a lap dance. You had been playing it safe this whole time only picking truth and not getting asked anything too bad just a few standards and revealing a few things that made you blush.

You sat between Sana and Mina whilst waiting for your turn, your eyes constantly would fall to the way Momo had her arm on Sana’s waist in an almost romantic like manner. Almost as if she was claiming her as her own. Momo would whisper sweet nothings in Sana’s ear causing the girl to let out a chorus of drunk giggles or various “Momoring!”’s. Sana would get more touchy with Momo from the kisses she would give her that were just centimeters away from Momo’s mouth or the looks they would give each other as if there was an unspoken bond between the 2.

Mina held your hand reassuringly at one point as a way to hopefully try to divert your attention from them which would sometimes work and other times went ignored. “truth or dare?” Nayeon asked Momo with a smirk “Dare!” “I dare you to kiss Sana then!” multiple giggles and ooh’s could be heard from some of the girls except Mina and Jihyo who knew about your feelings for the girl.

girl. “Aw come on Nayeon! why that dare!?” Dahyun playfully said knowing how unpredictable Nayeon could be, “it’s either that or she takes a shot!” Nayeon giggled whilst looking at the 2 with a knowing look. You wanted to scream as you saw Momo’s hand caress Sana’s cheek as she leaned closer a pit in your stomach forming as well as the feeling of tears in your eyes. You made up an excuse about not wanting to play anymore ignoring the protests of the other girls as you quickly went up to your room.

Why did you open that door? Why did you have to be so curious? You barged into Sana’s room wanting to ask for her thoughts on a song for the Japanese single you were working on for the group. This was normal since it was something you both would do when wanting to be near the other whether it was just cuddling or wanting to feel the other’s presence. Instead you walked in on something much worse.

You found both Sana and Momo making out on her bed, nearly undressed. Sana squeaked in alarm while Momo had a shocked look on her face her first instinct to cover them both. “Ynnie I-” you didn't get to hear the rest of what she said, slamming the door shut, and rushing into your own room next door.

The tears flowed out your eyes while your knees gave out beneath you. You put your hands over your mouth as you cried feeling a burning hole in your chest, you weren’t even paying attention to the tender sighs that could be heard from one of them. You were only focused by the pain you felt from what you saw, you looked at one of your pictures you had on the wall of the two of you. It hung there like a mockery to how blind you had been to something that had so obviously been there right in front of you.

The next week Sana had taken notice how you had distanced yourself from her and Momo. You knew it wasn’t right but you couldn't bring yourself to face either one of them right now. Mina held you as you cried in her arms “it hurts minari..how could I have been so stupid to something that was right in my face? it was obvious I never stood a chance against Momo.” Mina rubbed your back listening as you sobbed, she knew you were hurting and was determined to be there for you in every way she could.

“I’m sorry yn if I had known something was going on…I would’ve never told you to confess to her..or at least push you to..I swear I didn’t-” you couldn’t hear Mina’s voice anymore as you thought back on all the moments you and Sana had together.

From the way she would hold your hand in the airport as to not lose you to the crowd “I just feel better when your close to me ynnie! can’t let my baby get lost now can I?”, the times she would hold you when you couldn’t sleep making you smell her shampoo which to you felt like home but just the thought of that scent makes you nauseous now, and all the times she would sometimes brush her fingers on your lips then shoot you a teasing almost innocent like smile “your lips are so soft ynnie..wonder how they taste.” All of these memories that once made you feel happy now brought you nothing but pain causing you to sob harder.

Nothing could prepare any of the girls for what you did next. A week after the first concept pictures had dropped, a week after your guys most anticipated comeback, you left. You terminated your contract and just like that you were gone, you still remember the look on Jihyo and Mina’s faces when you told them that you were leaving the group. The way Jihyo cried while she hugged you and mina’s loud sob mixed with yelling, at the end of the day they supported your decision though knowing that the reason you were leaving was because of how much it hurt you to face Sana and Momo.

But what they didn’t know was the longing you felt for her to so much as look at you. They didn’t know how much you stilll craved Sana’s touch, they didn’t know how she could somehow still make you feel better, they didn’t know how you would cry remembering her touch from any touches you guys had. You didn’t get to speak to Sana before you left but you remember the glance you gave her when you left.

Her face falling when she received the news ,as eyes filling with tears that were streaming down her cheeks. It hurt you to see her like this as she silently begged you to come back and tell her this wasn’t real and maybe in another world you would’ve if Momo wasn't holding her hand.

You waited a year before signing to a new company. The trainees you were surrounded with obsessed with ‘Feel Special’ the last Twice music video you could ever be seen in. You would force yourself to leave the room when the song would play Sana’s voice bringing a whole new level of pain you were trying to get rid of. You remembered the texts Sana would send you daily trying to get you to talk to her but you would never respond knowing that you could never be friends with her again. Even when Nayeon had informed you about Sana and Momo’s break up you still didn’t text her, unable to bring yourself to do it.

Eventually she stopped texting you and life moved on with you debuting in a new girl group as the leader and twice continuing as a 9 member group. You still talked to your old members especially Jihyo, Mina, Tzuyu, and Jeongyeon unable to let go of the bond you had with them. You eventually even reconnected with Momo but never Sana.

Currently you sat in your apartment, your phone buzzing with multiple messages from friends and families. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth when you saw Jihyo and Mina’s congratulatory texts. You smiled sadly as you texted them both thank you’s letting them know how much you missed them. You looked to your wall to the picture of you and Sana.

The same picture that hung on your wall when you walked in on her and Momo, the same picture you both took with each other years ago. If you had told either of the girls in that picture that they would one day not speak again they wouldn’t believe you. You stopped looking at the picture when you felt your phone buzzing as it rang, when you looked at the caller ID everything felt as if it had come to a stop.

Sana is calling…..

#twice #sana twice #twice sana #minatozaki sana #twice thoughts #twice imagines #twice angst #sana angst #sana #twice x fem reader #twice x reader #twice x you #twice x y/n

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urfavoritegirlkisser · 8 months

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"Midnight Rain" II - Rockstar!Ellie Williams x Popstar!Reader

an - wow i did not expect you guys to like this idea so much, if you haven't read part one i would go ahead and read it first before reading this part!! Enjoy!

I don't consent to anyone sharing my work anywhere else, I only post my writing on this tumblr account, do not steal my work

Tags: Fem!popstar!reader, rockstar!Ellie, we're burning slow here my loves, fake dating trope, no outbreak au, angst, slight anxious!reader, Ellie is a little bit of a player and kind of an asshole sorry pookies, lightly proof read, listen to "lucky" by britney spears it literally inspired this entire idea

So apparently you lied to yourself and no one forgot it happened

Two months. It had been two months since you had seen that article and left Ellie’s hotel room, and people couldn’t seem to let it go.

Edits of the two of you filled your for you page, fans brought signs to your shows asking about you and Ellie, and honestly, you were sick of it.

It didn’t help that your management thought it was a great idea because it gained traction for both you and Ellie’s fan bases.

So now you sit in a meeting with Ellie and your managers as they discuss another appearance from the two of you together.

This was your least favorite part of being a pop star, the fame, and your fans were amazing, but most of your choices weren’t your own; they were for the “brand” your management wanted to maintain.

“Sounds good to me” Ellie speaks up, breaking you from your thoughts as you look at her like she has two heads and scoff

“I’m sorry but weren’t you the one telling me that you had your precious reputation to uphold and couldn’t be tied down with anyone?”, you could feel your anger at the situation growing but knew you should keep yourself from completely losing it

“We both benefit from the attention, that’s more important to me than some silly reputation sweetheart,” she says with that infuriating smirk that lets you think for a moment that her words are truthful

“Fine,” you say, “But this is only going to be a thing for a few months, after my tour is over we are over, got it?”

Your managers go over the agreements and discuss appearances before the both of you sign, basically binding yourselves to each other for the next six months.

The first appearance was simply Ellie coming to one of your shows

She hangs out with her bandmates Dina and Jesse in the VIP box where they are visible to the fans attending but are secure enough so they don’t get mobbed and can enjoy the show comfortably.

You make sure to direct most lyrics in the more romantic songs on your set list toward Ellie and can tell that your fans are eating it up.

After the show, your manager escorts you backstage where Ellie is waiting, noticing that it’s visible by some fans lingering in the upper levels.

Your manager pushes you toward Ellie and you plaster on a fake smile, running up to her and hugging her tightly.

Ellie kisses your cheek lovingly and it sends a jolt of sadness through you as you look into her eyes, wishing the look of care on her face was real.

“Smile, people are watching” she whispers into your ear while letting her hand slip to your waist and letting the other cup your jaw to tilt your face to hers.

You shake off the creeping feeling of anxiety at so many cameras on the two of you and smile softly, letting Ellie lead you into a quick kiss before parting and being led back to your dressing room by your manager.

You get back to your hotel that night and scroll mindlessly through your feed of constant videos from tonight, some of you performing, some of Ellie in the VIP box, and plenty of when the two of you met after the show.

You scroll through the comments of fans raving about how happy the two of you look with tears in your eyes

If only they knew

an - I listened to my sad girl hours playlist for this, I hope you enjoyed it!! Now go drink water you girl kissers xoxo

#wlw fanfic #urfavoritegirlkisser #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader

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graybby · 5 months

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Awkward encounter

Lando Norris X Russell!reader

The F1 drivers twitch streamer sister series !

Part 1 / Part 2 here 1196 words

sorry for the wait guys <3

As much as Y/N would post on social media and perform to her twitch audience, she would be lying if she said that walking around the bustling crowds of F1 fans at the Aussie grand prix wasn’t terrifying her to her core. She was never one for big crowds - one of the reasons her older brother had only recently managed to convince her to attend his races this year with a lot of guilt tripping. Y/N didn’t help herself though, trying to conceal her identity constantly around her brother's fans when in his company had been grating on her over the years - especially with his rise in fame since joining Mercedes. She began finding it impossible to relax when in public with George, making her a partial recluse - much to her brother's disappointment. George understood why she wanted to hide her relation to him, but the wedge it started making between the two as she grew a larger fanbase irked him - he could tell it was bothering her too as her anxieties grew with it. Y/N loved her job streaming but sometimes doubted herself on whether it was the right choice for her - she found being in the public domain a constant surveillance, her every step taken outside her home found being criticised online. Imagining how much more intense the gaze on her would be if they knew the truth of her identity sent a chill down her spine.

Despite this, the guilt of never being there in person to support her brother made her feel awful, eventually agreeing to Georges persistent begging to join him for a couple of the races on the 2024 calendar (as long as he helped conceal her identity). This left her to hide away inside the Mercedes hospitality out of view of any nearby cameras wrapped in a hoodie and sunglasses, anyone who asked about her was met with the reply that she was just a family friend who had never seen a race and wanted to finally enjoy one. The only people that actually knew her true identity being Toto and Lewis, George knew he could trust the two of them with this information.

Out of sheer stupidity Y/N believed the hoodie and sunglasses combo that she wore in Saudi Arabia would continue to work in the blistering Australian heat. To her dismay she found herself sticking to the inside of her jumper, having to peel the fabric away from her skin as she made her way out of the bathroom that she had attempted to find some solace in by spending five minutes splashing cold water into her face. Unfortunately the bathroom was located a long way out from the Mercedes area, the more steps she took out the bathroom she could feel herself growing faint still being overwhelmed by the heat. Finding a close by wall to lean against as she tried to regain her composure as her body grew tired all to quick, Y/N found herself tearing haphazardly at the her hoodie to gain some relief - glasses clattering to the floor as the fabric passed over her head falling beside them to her feet. Her legs screaming out as she slid down the wall crouching into a ball in her fatigued state.

I’m so fucking stupid why did I think this could work today - annoying fucking sun.

Mentally cursing the weather and her own brain Y/N failed to notice the man approaching her - face full of concern for the young girl in front of him face pale and sickly.

“Y/N?”

She looks up - You’ve gotta be kidding me.

“Y/N what the fuck are you doing on the floor - you look like shit, what happened?”

“oh thanks prince charming, can you help me up I need to get back to George - I can’t be seen out here” she asks, eyes pleading.

“I didn’t mean- yeah-no-sure, of course here”

“Thanks Lando” Y/N breathes out shakily as she takes his outstretched hand.

This is utterly embarrassing

“I'm sorry this is how we’re meeting” Y/N remarks as he bends down to grab the items she had dropped onto the floor.

“I’m just glad I was the one to find you, what happened?”

“I think I overheated, I was wearing my hoodie- I know ‘silly’ but I just wanted to be as incognito as possible. It's frustrating”.

Lando gives her a sympathetic look as she answers him - not daring to look anywhere but the floor. “Hey I understand, but that could have been dangerous like you nearly passed out over there love '' Lando says as they make it closer to the Mercedes hospitality. Noticing the lack of response, he finds her still staring at her feet. He sighs and gently moves to face her, tilting her head up, hand cupping her chin softly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was lecturing you or anything, but it was scary to find you like that - I’m just worried” Y/N gulps staring back into his eyes as she nods at his words. “No I’m sorry, I was stupid - you don’t need to worry but thank you really Lando” Y/N mustered up the courage to speak, feeling so small under his gaze, his hand still cupping her jaw.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing Norris?” George growls pulling Y/N behind him in a split second, not liking the image in front of him of the fellow driver’s hands on his younger sister.

“Hey I was just helping her mate '' Lando tries to defend himself.

“Didn’t fucking look like it” George snaps back at him. Y/N stumbles back at the sharpness of his voice, pulling her arm out of his grip. “George calm down please, he's only helping me for god's sake, I nearly passed out- he found me!” she retaliated back at him pleading for him to listen and understand.

“I don’t care Y/N, it didn’t look like that when I saw the two of you - he's done his ‘job’ he can leave now” George refuted arms crossed in front of himself, still glaring down at Lando who appeared as shocked as Y/N at this outburst.

Defensively putting his hands up, Lando sighed and turned to walk away - giving Y/N one last apologetic look which she shared mirrored before turning his back and leaving.

“What the hell was that Y/N? George demands as Y/N’s gaze drops back to the floor.

“I could ask you the same thing” He only huffs in response before she starts again. “He really was helping me - I collapsed by the bathroom’s, he found me and walked me back - you should thank him for saving your sister, not shout at him!” her voice raising, fed up with his childish behaviour.

“He had his hands on you, I don't want to see him near you again”

Y/N turns on her heel and charges past him into the hospitality, refusing to keep up such conversation with George, taking deep breaths to compose herself as she pulls out her phone with shaky hands.

Way to ruin a moment bro

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for reading <3

taglist: @bicchaan @lauralarsen @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @ssararuffoni @cherry-piee @eviethetheatrefreak @2pagenumb

#lando norris #lando norris x y/n #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x reader #george russel x reader #lando x reader #lando norris x reader

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lustkillers · 1 year

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BEGGIN' ON HER KNEES TO BE POPULAR !

⊹₊ ⋆ summary. - she wants more fame, he's helping her gain that.

┃ tags/warnings. ࿐ ❪ probably not set in the right era, nsfw freak shit. dom!euronymous, sub!reader. reader and euro are opposites, unprotected sex, degradation, praising, crying, face-fucking, reader and euro make a sex tape, office sex? exhibitionism?? creampie, freak shit. ❫

⊹₊ ⋆ pairing - euronymous x famous!fem!reader. ❪ not the actual euronymous, only rory’s portrayal. ❫

⊹₊ ⋆ note - fucking hate the idol show, but this song is so orgasmic for no reason. not proofread.

THE first time you both met, the venue was flashing red and blue lights. You were downing shots with friends, and his fingers were playing on the stringed instrument.

He was mesmerizing you with his skill and confidence. You felt a shared electric current buzzing in the air, and before you could shift your gaze away he had already caught it. His eyes were remote, yet deep; like an ocean full of secrets that only revealed themselves when someone is brave enough to swim away from shore.

It was like his music seduced you, as you got up from your spot in the venue, his eyes followed you. You felt an exciting but strange feeling in the pit of your stomach as you started swaying your body with the music.

You could feel his gaze burning into the back of your neck. He knew who you were, and before you knew it his time was up on stage, now standing right beside you, his hands on your hips. Your heart raced as you looked into his eyes, feeling the same electric current that had taken over your body earlier.

A surge of confidence jolted through your veins as the music kept playing, your hips grinding on his slightly-toned body. The atmosphere in the room was intense and before you knew it, time froze as his lips brushed up against yours.

The sensation of his lips on yours sent shivers down your spine, making every inch of your body tingle with anticipation. You leaned in closer to him, wanting more as he deepened the kiss.

But that's where your first encounter ended.

After that encounter happened, you still kept in touch. He still did his music, and you did yours. Every time he'd perform, you'd find yourself in the crowd, watching him with a newfound appreciation for his passion.

However, as his music career boosted, yours declined. He started to get more and more attention from other people, leaving you feeling a little bit jealous. You couldn't help but feel a bit of envy as you watched him perform and receive praise.

"How'd you do it?" You were now talking to him after his show, your question masked by the thumping of music.

He didn't answer you, putting his stuff away. You cleared your throat, feeling embarrassed for asking him that question.

You really needed his help, and you were willing to anything. You were desperate.

"Look, I need your help. My shit isn’t going well, and I don't know what else to do," you pleaded, your voice barely audible over the loud music.

He looked at you, smirking. "Maybe if we worked together, I could help," he said finally.

You raised an eyebrow, "Together? How is that going to work?" He smiled mischievously, "Come by Helvete tomorrow, and you'll find out." And with that, he left you alone, your stomach feeling warm at his words.

The next day, you made your way to Helvete. He was already there, waiting for you. He motioned to his office, gesturing for you to enter.

Once inside, you stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He smiled. "I think I have a way that we can help each other out," he said.

His expression shifted to a lust filled one, and you felt your face flush. He licked his lips and you knew what he was suggesting. "On your knees, slut." He commanded.

Your heart began to race and you felt a mix of fear and excitement at his words. You slowly got on your knees, bracing yourself for whatever was coming next. He stepped closer to you and grabbed ahold of your chin, lifting it up so he could look into your eyes. "Now, I’m going to help you, and in return you’re going to help me." He said with a smirk.

You nodded, unable to speak, as he explained the terms of your agreement, bringing in the factor of him recording you both. When he was finished, you swallowed hard and looked him in the eyes. You knew that if you said yes it would change your life forever--but it was a risk that seemed worth taking.

He smiled, satisfied with your response. "Good girl," he said as he reached out and grasped the back of your neck roughly, pulling you into a passionate kiss. You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest as the intensity of his lips grew stronger and stronger. When he finally pulled away you were left feeling breathless and dizzy-- but you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading through your body.

He pushed you back onto your knees, looking down at you with a satisfied smirk. "Now, if you want to keep your end of the bargain," he continued, his voice low and threatening, "you're going to do exactly what I say."

His words made you more aroused, and if he kept it up for much longer, you were probably going to be in a pool of your wetness.

His hands unzipped his pants, revealing his cock. Your eyes slightly widened, and you found yourself salivating at the thought of it inside of you.

He commanded you to take him in your mouth, and with a deep breath, you complied. You ran your tongue around his hardness before taking him into your mouth fully. He moaned in pleasure as he grabbed onto the back of your head, gently pushing himself deeper and deeper down your throat, now gaining control.

He started to thrust faster and deeper, your spit pooling out the sides of your face. His cock speared to the back of your throat, and you started to gag. You tried to pull away, but his fingers were still intertwined in your hair, refusing for you to get away.

It went on for a couple of more minutes, and you were moments away from passing out. He pulled out, a line of spit connected between your lips and his cock. He smiled down on you, enjoying the view of you in a state of utter submission.

"Up, bitch." He commanded. You got up, unsteady on your feet, and he pulled you into a rough kiss. He licked your lips, tasted himself on you. His hands wandered down your body, cupping and squeezing every inch of you as he kissed you deeply.

Both of you slowly walked to his desk, both of you removing your clothes. He laid you down, his hands caressing and exploring every inch of your body. His lips pressed against yours, leaving a light trail down to your neck.

His hands moved lower, fingers gently teasing your wet folds before entering you. You gasped in pleasure as he thrust gently inside of you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body as he increased the intensity of his thrusts.

"F-Fuck, Euro!" You cried out, your breathing quickening as he continued to thrust in and out of you. He smiled down at your blissful expression before increasing the speed, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

You moaned in pleasure and closed your eyes, surrendering to the sensation of his rushing within you. His hands roamed all over you as he took in every moan and scream of pleasure with each thrust.

The pleasure felt suffocating, your head going dizzy. "M'gonna cum," you babbled out.

Euro's eyes lit up as he picked up the pace, pushing you closer and closer until you finally tumbled over the edge. You screamed out his name like a prayer as your body quivered in pleasure.

His movements became more erratic and intense, chanting your name with profanities. You still felt sensitive, the pleasure almost knocking you out.

You felt a hot burst fill you, his arms trembling as he thrust deeper and held himself inside you, stuffing you full. You both lay still, panting as he remained inside you.

Euronymous squatted down to your puffed-out pussy, his mouth attaching to it. He licked and sucked on your sensitive flesh, sending sensations all through you.

Your hands tangled through his hair, "S'too much!" You cried out, but still needy for more. He chuckled, his hands caressing your thighs as he kept licking and sucking.

He paid attention to every inch of you, lavishing in the taste of your orgasm-induced cum until finally you could take no more.

You laid there, feeling utterly satisfied, as Euronymous got up and walked to the camera, turning it off, smirking.

"That was quite the show, wasn't it?" He said with a wink.

You blushed and smiled, feeling content inside as you thought of what just happened. You were left feeling content in a way you hadn't before, and you knew that this would be something that neither of you would forget.

You bit your lip, smiling at him as your hair was tousled. This was it, you both did it.

You were going to be famous.

"BEAUTIFUL BABE GETS FUCKED BY GUITARIST, EURONYMOUS! WATCH NOW!"

And you did.

#rory culkin x reader #rory culkin #lords of chaos #smut #rory culkin x y/n #euronymous #euronymous smut #euronymous x reader #rory culkin smut #rory culkin lords of chaos #GOING FERAL RAHHHH #Spotify

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northopalshore · 1 month

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Zendaya birth chart analysis

•❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°

Additional asteroids mentioned: Fama (408), Adorea (268), Charisma (627), Aura (1488), Fan (151590), Juno (3), Great Attractor, Part of Fortune

In this post, I will be writing down and explaining some aspects & placements in her natal birth chart to better understand her character as well as fame indicators in her chart.

Aquarius (7° libra) 1st house

Aquarius risings tend to have longer body proportions. Slender, and unique something you notice about her immediately is her height, her hair colour, accessories & her forehead. Their heads may seem a bit larger in proportion to their body i.e bigger forehead, wider face. Their personality will stand out in the crowd as they are not afraid to be themselves in any given situation.

ex: I had an aquarius rising friend back in high school she would be giggling uncontrollably even during assembly to herself for some joke she had in her mind. Zendaya has always stood out in terms of personality. Back when she used to make videos on Vine everybody loved her lip syncing to Beyoncé's "YONCE" but she was just excited to hear her favourite song playing randomly on the radio & decided to post the video. It was just her, being her.

With the libra degree though, it brings a lot of balance into her appearance. Not to mention she's extremely beautiful! Not everyone will agree with her ideas and that's alright to her. She's not the type to judge others for their opinion.

Saturn (5° leo) retrograde in 2nd house

This is can be seen in the chart of someone who didn't grow up with a lot of money. Both of her parents are teachers (work with children as leo rules the 5th house 5° 5 see? ). She'll have to work very hard to earn money. With saturn in retrograde and with the leo degree she always had the ability to gain a lot of money through her talents in the acting/ performing field. She has worked in the entertainment industry for YEARS before gaining mainstream recognition. And from a very young age (since then gaining a massive amount of money through acting) She found financial stability through her talents. Since her second house is in pisces, I think she probably has dreamt of affording all the best things in life and has never stopped working towards it. Her career also started off catering to children aka the younger audiences acting in family friends/kid shows.

Moon (7° libra) in her 3rd house

She has a very close harmonious relationships with her siblings. She could feel like she can never live without them as they are a source of comfort. She'll tend to rationalize her emotions, always trying to tinker with logic and how she feels. She'll find herself looking at her feelings from an outside perspective often. She was also close to her mother during early school years ( her went to the elementary school her mother taught at: Fruitvale Elementary School in Oakland) Most of her siblings will be much younger than her.

Taurus 4th house

She grew up in a very harmonious household. Very safe, loved and cared for by her parents. She didn't move homes/ left her birth place meaning her childhood was spent where she was born. There were no arguments or fighting that took place in her home aside from maybe "Who ate my snack?? I was saving that for later!"

Venus (24° pisces) in the 6th house

She could feel like her childhood was very work centric. However, given that this is Venus I believe she really enjoyed working in a sense. She was passionate about it. It may have caused a lot of fatigue, trauma & anxiety even as a child, but she this was what she truly passionate about regardless. A perfectionist placement in terms of beauty, art, talents.

Mars (25° aries) in Cancer 6th house

Similar to venus. She focuses a lot of her energy into working towards her dream. She worked with a lot of female figures, with friends & family ( also a lot of her early gigs involved family sitcoms ) she usually feels very safe at work. She knows she is always working with people that she can trust. She is also a perfectionist. She feels that everything she does must be perfect. Combined with her venus she'll take her acting very seriously, she will not feel satisfied until her performance meets her ideals.

Aura (23° aquarius) in Gemini 5th house

People are very drawn to her unique, genuine energy. She's seen as this fun loving, talkative, passionate, sometimes very stubborn person that everyone wants to be around. She exudes this rebellious magnetism. People feel like she's always doing something different in comparison to other actors for example. They'll see her as more of a friend than a celebrity. People feel like they will never be bored with her, she's always doing something exciting!

edit: there was a previous typo 23° aries instead of aquarius. It's fine now.

Fan (21° Sagittarius) in Leo 7th house

Her fans love her for her talents, she attracts fans from all over the world and people of different cultures & ethnicities. Her fans will also be very invested in her love life i.e love to see her in relationships. They genuinely want her to be happy in her love life. Her spouse/partner could also ber her biggest fan!

Fama conjunct Saturn

It took her time to gain a following, but when she does gain fame it will stay. You will see her name written down as one of the most prominent stars in Hollywood.

Fama retrograde in 2nd house

Same as conjunct saturn honestly.

Fama trine pluto

Explosive fame. It took her a while to get into mainstream media but when she did she changed the game. Her career has shifted into a more mature state as she's now taking more adult roles in her career.

Part of fortune (4° cancer) in Libra 8th house

She'll have a lot of luck in rebirth & transformation. She might be very lucky in high stakes situations. She's likely to live a long and healthy life. She'll perform better in adult or taboo roles, gaining more abundance through those roles. She'll be able to take on more emotional roles with complex character relationships. (i.e her roles in Euphoria & Challengers gained a massive amount of attention)

Mercury (3° Gemini) in Libra 8th house

She could love to talk about taboo subjects. She's not afraid to point out the things that hurt her, or things that bother her close relationships. She will be the person to talk to them through hard times. She's a loyal friend and whatever secret you tell her she's taking them to the grave.

Pluto (0° the purest form) in the Sagittarius 10th house

She will be very attractive. Whatever she does the spotlight will be on her. The public will either love her to death or hate her with every bone in their body. She will garner the attention of people worldwide. People in her field can be very jealous of her magnetism. She'll easily gain power and recognition throughout her career. A revolutionary, a trendsetter, what more can I say?

Adorea(11° aquarius) in Sagittarius 10th house

The public will adore her for her ability to stay authentic and genuine. She is also loved through the internet, the media. People will adore her in videos or anytime she's on screen.

Great Attractor(13° aries) in 10th house

She is a force to be reckoned with in her career. The great attractor being in the 10th house is one of the most powerful, magnetic and influential placements a person could have. She will be loved by the public, she will always attract attention throughout her career. People loving, adoring, praising & wanting to follow you. Ex-USA president Barack Obama has this placement too!

Chiron (14° taurus) in 8th house

People will look to her for comfort. She has the ability to heal other people with her presence. She may have had some uncomfortable experience with physical touch, or is generally uncomfortable with people she isn't close with touching her. I don't want to get too deep into this placement but she definitely has some trauma surrounding the 8th house.

Chiron trine ascendant

She might have had some insecurities concerning her looks in the past, people might have bullied her for the way she presented herself or just her appearance in general. However this placement also allows her to overcome those easily. This also gives her the ability to express complex, gut-wrenching emotions of her face. Great for acting. She's able to showcase the characters soul.

Pluto conjunct MC (26° taurus)

This usually means her image will be very public. You'll see her face & her body everywhere. Her career involves a lot of photos being taken for magazine covers, interviews and whatnot.

Jupiter (7° libra) retrograde in Capricorn 11th house

This means she will get a lot of luck with friends, and social media. She will be very popular online. Since it is in retrograde however, there was a delay in achieving that big blow up on the internet ( compared to when she started her career).

Neptune (25°aries) retrograde in Capricorn 12th house

This placement can be seen in individuals with prominent or severe mental health issues/ trauma. She can feel very depressed at times, feeling alone, feeling detached from people around her, feeling shunned. The aries degree indicates that this has started to develop from a young age. She was very shy when she was younger. Her parents even had to attend a class on raising introverted children. I've read multiple articles addressing her openness on talking about her trauma. "She felt that stress that came with being a child actor, feeling anxious and always delivering out of fear that people will lose interest. "

Uranus (1° aries) retrograde in Aquarius 12th house

This is very similar to neptune, in a sense that this stems during early childhood. She felt very alienated from the rest of her peers. She could be insecure about her personality, or her uniqueness. She doesn't feel like she truly belongs.

Sun trine Jupiter

She has a very big personality. People will notice her wherever she goes. Popular & beautiful. Taller/bigger than the average height/ people notice her height.

Saturn trine uranus

Her internet presence will be very long lasting.

Venus opposite uranus

She's the type of person who'll want to express her fashion through unconventional means. Lady gaga has venus trine uranus I keep thinking about her iconic meat dress lol. Since it is opposite in Zendaya's chart, it's more like a double negative in a way. You have Uranus but also you're going against Uranus. Which means she'll love to dress up in a unique uniform type of way.

ex: in every opening/event she goes to she will always match her outfit with her character/the theme of the movie. Extra in a tame way so to speak whereas Mother Monster, well.. is anything but tame.

Charisma sextile MC

She is seen as someone very charismatic throughout her career.

Zendaya's birth chart:

•❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°

***disclaimer: entertainment purposes only, reader discretion is advised***

Thank you for reading ♡

@northopalshore

115 notes · View notes

kedsandtubesocks · 7 months

Text

dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

#my heart is so full and I can’t thank yall enough I wish country singer Joel could perform for you personally in your living room #let’s rodeo fic series #country singer!joel miller #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller x f!reader #Joel miller fic #Joel miller fanfic #Joel 🤎

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inthestarsme · 2 years

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Astro Notes pt. 8

These are not my pictures: 1st by robbodarko on pinterest, 2nd by an anonymous creator on pinterest.

‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️

If you don't agree with my observations, please don't send any hate. They're only my personal observations that i'm posting just for fun. Especialy the specific ones can only apply to certain people. So don't take anything you read too seriously. It's not a science, just pop-astrology!😎

❗️DISCLAIMER: I'm going to be talking about a lot of dark stuff, so if you may be triggered or retraumstised by ANYTHING, please DO NOT read this one ❗️

So let's buckle up, this one is a little more deep and dark than usual 🖤

Scorpio MC: I promise i'm going to stop talking about this placement, but i just find it very interesting. Looking at Zendayas birth chart who has a Scorpio MC with Pluto in her 10th house conjunct that MC (which i have too, exept the conjunction part), she seems to always keep her life very private. And if she ever shows herself in public, it's always to make a power move or to promote something she has just worked on, which will make her more powerful. Or she only does it with intention and/or absolutely wonderfully. Also, one of her bigger roles, playing Rue in Euphoria, was a very controversial one dealing with a lot of heavy topics, but she did it so well and gracefully, that it gave her a lot of fame and she even got an emmy for her performance. And i feel like Zendaya is a very good example for how to go about with this placement. Be secretive with your life, and don't give people too much space to shit on you. If you do anything in your career or anything of yours is to be shown in public, only give and show your very best. People can get jealous, but they will know to appreciate your hard work. You may use your sexiness and seductiveness, your dark and controversial side but do it with a purpose and intention, and best do it in an artistic context and in a beautiful way.

Saturn in the 6th house: I see Saturn as something or an area where you feel trapped or just persecuted by something. Because the 6th house has a lot to do with health, you may struggle with health issues and feeling like they're trapping you or just feeling no way out of them. As the opposition here is the 12th house, the only way out may be through a lot of hospital visits and maybe even using spirituality to heal your body.

But because the 6th house can also be about your everyday life, resposibilities and routines, you may experience feeling trapped in this area in some way or form. It can be due to societal expectations, because of your kids and husband or the community you grew up in, who and which may make you feel as if you're either trapped in responsibilities you didn't choose or like the things you're doing on an everyday basis aren't really the things that make you happy or would've chosen if you knew better or could've chosen otherwise. I really don't think this necessarily has to do with the work you may choose to pursue as a career, but it can certainly influence how you do it and even if you pursue it, if your everyday life may be preoccupied with other things than work.

Neptune in Scorpio and 3rd house: There may be an issue with illusions and thus betrayal coming from your siblings regarding money, because of wanting to keep certain secrets or for gaining some sort of power in general or specificaly over you. Or you may put illusions on your siblings to try to keep them from seeing certain secrets you keep or know. Of course this can still play out differantly, so please don't get scared, but if you are suspecting anything like this, take it as a hint to maybe be more careful.

Taurus MC: I've noticed this placement having to do with a career in the movie/ film industry. It can be as an actor, director, producer or whatever you may prefer doing. You may focus a lot on the aesthetic part of this artform. The placement of your venus may say a lot about in which way specificaly you may be involved in this industry. Venus in the first house, especialy with virgo, may be more into directing as the self is more in focus and you need to be able to organize people with confidence. Venus in the 5th house may be more into acting, especialy with Venus in Gemini or Cancer. Venus in the 6th house may be more into being a producer, Venus in the 3rd maybe a writer. If this is something you are interested in pursuing and you have this placement, i would recommend you to look more deeply into this.

Water moons: Y'all are about feeling, but every water sign focuses on a different kind of feeling. If well developed i would say: Cancer feels a lot, specificaly for other people and can be very nurturing and empathetic. Scorpio moon likes to go into deep and dark placed and also loves the sexual part of feeling. Pisces moon may be into connecting spiritually through your emotions, being able to perceive things that are outside of the physical or can't be physicaly perceived through your emotions (which could also be collective patterns, etc.).

Mercury conjunct Uranus: THE placement for someone with a high IQ and a lot of talent for things that need a lot of mental agility and being able to think outside the box. This can make you an amazing engineer and great at anything having to do with technology, especialy if it is placed in the 2nd, 6th or 10th house.

North Node in the 8th house: You may go from earning money on your own two feet to inheriting a lot of money or gaining a lot of money through other people, for example through divorce and need to learn to accept that sometimes that is also fine. It may be hard for you to accept this money as you may feel as if you didn't earn it and as such it isn't worth the same. And you aren't wrong, it's different to earn your own money, but you need to find a balance: sometimes inherited money was something your ancestors fought hard for so you wouldn't have to. In thus, it may be only in respect to them to treat it as earned and respectable money. And sometimes we're just lucky in life, and that's fine too. You can enjoy that luck and still be a responsable, "on your own two feet" kind of person. Or you can for example also donate some money or even open your own charity to help other people.

Libra moons: You may feel a sense of security through your interpersonal relationships. It can be your romantic relationships but also your friendships. You need these connections to feel emotionaly stable.

Mars in the 7th house: TW: Fighting and Abuse! I hate to admit this because it is something i need to work on, but i tend to fight a lot in relationships instead of just normaly addressing issues or breaking up if i just don't feel satisfied. I of course never get physical because i'm not that kind of person, but i feel like this could defenately indicate that. And honestly, i secretly like the drama of it, because it brings a kind of passion into the relationship. This has probably to do with some kind of childhood trauma of me thinking fighting is a form of love. But sadly, it also fits this placement, as Mars is Aggression. Maybe someone can relate, and if you do: we understand each other but i also need to tell you that we both need to work on this. There are other ways of creating passion in a relationship, and even though fighting can be normal and healthy, fighting every time you have an issue isn't really ideal. And if you have gotten physical in a relationship before: yes that's shitty and you should bear the concequences for it. But i will not just shame you for it, because i want you to look at the issue so you can heal and learn. That's the only way we as humans can evolve. So please: learn to take accountability so you can get better. Also: Maybe you should try to learn how you can create passion and excitement in your relationships without having to fight or anything like that.

I hope you liked it! Yes, i'm okay. I just love deep topics, and oftentimes they also tend to be of darker nature. Just a Scorpio Mercury at it's best. Lot's of love and till next time: stay safe!

#scorpio midheaven #saturn 6th house #neptune in scorpio #neptune in the 3rd house #taurus midheaven #water moon #mercury conjunct uranus #north node in the 8th house #libra moon #mars in the 7th house #astro community #astro observations #astroblr #astrology #midheaven #north node #neptune #uranus #mercury

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ssivinee · 11 months

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✧Love Lies✧

BEBE! Kim Taeyoung, aka Tatter x BEBE! F Reader: When finding freedom in dance, your career takes off when being a dancer under SM Entertainment. After a while, you finally joined Bebe as their second oldest member but didn't expect to fall for one of the girls on your team.

✧ Love Lies revolves around the intimate connection between two persons, but these two individuals question the boundaries and feelings for one another throughout the song (mainly seen in the chorus).

Word Count: 4.9k

Note: LOOK HOW PRETTY SHE IS. That's all I had to say😌. Atp, you should just expect this to not be proofread as well.

Character Vision Board

You had danced your way through life from the earliest days you could remember. Even as a toddler, when most kids were taking their wobbly first steps, you were already entranced by the rhythm and movement that surrounded you. Your parents often recounted the story of how, as soon as you could stand, your head would bob and your tiny feet would shuffle in perfect sync with any catchy tune that caught your ear.

It was as if music and dance were etched into your very DNA, despite your parents not being the most agile of dancers themselves. The sound of a drumbeat or the melodies from a radio could always send you into a whirlwind of joyful motions. As you grew older, your passion for dance manifested in various forms. You explored ballet classes, where your grace and poise quickly caught the attention of your instructors. Tap dance, too, was a realm where your feet seemed to possess an innate understanding of intricate rhythms.

It wasn't until your teenage years that you truly recognized your desire to take dance seriously in life. That's when you found your way to hip-hop and street dance, discovering a completely different universe within the realm of movement. The urban beats, the freedom of expression, and the raw energy of these dance forms resonated with your very soul.

However, the years spent in tap and ballet had felt like a trap. While you became a quick favorite among your instructors, it came with a demand for excellence that weighed heavily on your shoulders. You were talented and skilled, which every teacher loved, but it meant you were representing more than just yourself; you were carrying the expectations of your mentors as well. This pressure transformed you into someone reserved, cold, and quiet – the complete opposite of your former self.

You threw yourself back into the world of dance with dedication, spending hours in front of a mirror perfecting your moves and crafting your own unique style. The exploration of new dance styles came as a relief.

It was during this phase that you crossed paths with your best friend, Noze. You both attended the same dance class in Seoul, a class so popular that you had been waitlisted multiple times before finally securing a spot. Throughout the class, you and the now-trendy dancer bonded, and your dance journeys began to intertwine. Noze wasn't the only one renowned for her grace; your own visual appeal started to make waves in the world of K-pop.

Both you and Noze were chosen as backup dancers for Kai's debut, a move you readily accepted to gain recognition for your skills. Little did you expect your striking beauty to catapult you to social media stardom.

Instantly recognizable in public and gaining around 1 million Instagram followers, your presence alongside Kai further solidified your popularity among fans.

While Noze gained more fame through her participation in SWF Season 1, you continued to rise in prominence by consistently accompanying Kai in his performances. During HallyuPopFest, you made a new friend who would once again alter the course of your life.

The Bada Lee.

You and Bada hit it off almost instantly despite the enigmatic connection between the lovable, extroverted Bada and your reserved, introverted persona. You slowly became a prime example of opposites attracting in the dance world. As your friendship blossomed, someone else watched from the sidelines.

Your intimidating demeanor made it challenging to approach you, and Tatter was perplexed by your growing friendship with Bada. Tatter had met you around the same time as Bada, automatically finding you cool. You carried yourself with sophistication, and your laid-back, magnetic aura left an impression.

Your ethereal beauty, in particular, captivated Tatter's attention. She felt a surge of excitement every time you crossed paths in person, even though she had never been prepared for the real thing.

Thus began Tatter's little crush on you. Like Bada, you possessed leader-like qualities, likely owing to your experience and age. Tatter couldn't help but ponder various questions about you.

Were you and Bada close because of your similar ages?

Did your shared dance styles play a role?

Despite having contrasting personalities, how had Bada developed such a strong bond with you?

These questions swirled through Tatter's mind, and she never felt the urge to get closer to you, believing that these events were the only times she'd see you. But she was wrong.

When Bada announced the formation of Bebe and revealed its starting members, Tatter hadn't expected to hear your name. In those moments, she wasn't sure whether to feel happy or anxious, as her emotions were always whirlwind around you.

As someone who often kept to yourself, you never really noticed Tatter's presence until you both began working in Bebe. While working on the crew performance video for "What It Is, " you truly observed her. Witnessing her free-spirited, youthful, yet mature personality during the filming occasionally brought a smile to your face. You were gradually developing a fondness for your younger teammates and their personalities.

However, just as Tatter thought this was her opportunity to become closer to you, someone else beat her to it again. Lusher, the third-oldest member of the team, possessed an outgoing personality that made it easy for you to get comfortable and connect with her.

Tatter had assumed you wouldn't appreciate this dynamic, but she was taken aback when she saw you closely listening to Lusher's stories. Your caring eyes, which she had never seen from you before, were locked onto the younger dancer. For Tatter, it was a heart-wrenching sight.

Why couldn't you look at her like that?

This was only a brief moment because Tatter soon noticed that you were becoming caring with everyone, including her. "Taeyoung-ah? You okay?" Bada inquired, her presence jolting Tatter from her inner musings as she observed the tall dancers before them. "Yes, unnie. Just a bit tired," Tatter replied, offering an explanation for her distracted state.

You, noticing her fatigue, pulled out an energy powder pack from your pocket. "Mix it with your water," you suggested, extending the pack towards her. Bada served as an unspoken translator for you giving the smaller girl a smile, and she accepted the pack with a sense of gratitude. "Thank you."

That marked the first full sentence you had ever uttered to the girl, allowing her to experience your voice up close. The sound of your voice was unexpectedly deep, smooth as velvet.

For the most part, Tatter's interactions with you were limited to these moments, even when you were joining the show with them.

Many of the crews were taken by surprise to see both you and Bada on the same team, considering you were currently among the trendiest figures in the Korean dance scene. Some even speculated that you might be a sub-leader, but during a one-on-one meeting with the taller girl, you politely declined the offer.

"I don't think I fit the sub-leader role," you expressed, taking a sip of your iced tea. Bada began to object, but you stopped her.

"Not with these girls specifically, unnie," you elaborated sincerely. "Lusher is the better pick. Her strong bond with the girls and her caring personality make her the right choice, in this case at least." As a dance teacher, you had experience leading others, but you felt uncertain about your fit within this particular team.

Moreover, the limited chemistry you had with the other members compared to Lusher played a role in your decision.

Bada sighed and sipped her drink, partly saddened by your choice but understanding it based on the explanation. "Fine, I'll tell them tomorrow during class," she conceded, and the two of you continued to chat the night away.

Now, all eight of you sat in the fight zone, the first crew to arrive. Your crew's performance video played on the large screen, and the rest of the girls were astounded by what they saw. Comments from other crews began to pour in, and your emotions were a mix of uncertainty and pride.

The praise initially focused on Bada, acknowledging her as a highly trendy and popular dancer. Then, it shifted to you.

"Y/n is one of the dancers who rose to fame with Kai, right? At the same time as Noze?" Nob from Lady Bounce pointed out, with her team members nodding in agreement. "I'm pretty sure the two are best friends," Biggy added. "So, we have two of the trendiest dancers in Korea on the same team? Do we stand a chance here?" "Clearly not."

"As much as Bada is experienced, Y/n is by far the most versatile on this team," Lia Kim observed, while Harimu couldn't hide her excitement about being on the same show as you. "She's really cool and knows how to capture fans' hearts," 1Million's youngest member said enthusiastically.

Then, the DeepNDap segment returned to the screen, and you braced yourself for what was to come. "She just appeals to the audience because of her pretty face," Mina Myoung commented, a hint of cockiness in her tone. "It's true, though. If she weren't pretty, no one would pay attention to her," Gooseul added, further fueling the critique. You weren't surprised; you had seen how your best friend was treated during the first season, and you had discussed it with her multiple times. So you were well-prepared for the same kind of treatment.

Noze had warned you about it when she found out you'd be on the show. "She doesn't seem to carry herself as a dancer," Yoonji from Mannequeen commented, prompting your annoyance. "All you can really see is her face when she dances." You scoffed at the comment, feeling it was more of a button-pushing tactic. After all, you typically styled yourself similarly to Bada, wearing hats every time you danced.

Bada and you were expected to carry the team, given the comments from some of the other crews. On the other hand, Tatter was affected by the comments about you, as she knew how dedicated and hardworking you were. You couldn't help but notice her change in behavior, assuming it was due to being labeled as "weak students," although it wasn’t the comments of them she was bothered by, it was the comments about you.

"Chin up. Don't let it get to you," you whispered in Tatter's ear, surprising her with the warmth of your breath against her skin. Her face flushed with embarrassment, and she nodded fervently, attempting to conceal her emotions. This worked to her advantage as you patted her back before returning to your seat beside Bada.

The time for no-respect battles had arrived, leaving you with just one sticker and a sense of curiosity about who you'd choose as your opponent. The prospect of engaging in two battles hardly fazed you; in fact, you wished for more challenges. The fact that you only had one sticker, despite some teams undermining your crew, brought a smirk to Bada's lips.

"They're probably afraid of you," Bada commented, rubbing your shoulder, to which you responded with a confident smirk. "If they aren't, I can give them something to be afraid of," you declared, eliciting a laugh from Bada, who was clearly amused by your boldness.

Sitting beside you, Tatter observed the exchange, her emotions in a whirlwind as she witnessed your self-assured demeanor. Your smirk seemed to exude a predatory hunger, and it left her feeling a certain kind of way.

Bada had been the first to battle on your team against 1Million's Ready, setting a victorious tone for the day. The win was a source of motivation for the rest of the crew.

After several more battles, Cera was called onto the stage. She grinned and confidently made her way toward your crew, singling you out. "Y/n, let's dance."

Your crew started hyping you up, and you nodded at Mannequeen's youngest. Your heart raced, aware that Cera excelled in battles and unsure why she had chosen you. Your skill sets were entirely different, creating a buzz of anticipation throughout the studio.

"Cera, why have you picked Bebe's Y/n as your no-respect dancer?" someone from the audience inquired. "I wanna see something new from her," Cera replied with a hint of challenge. "Feels like her style's a bit stale now."

You chuckled lightly. "Let me show you how I dance," you responded nonchalantly, earning admiration from those watching. "I should've bought wedding rings today, one for Bada and one for Y/n," JJ quipped, eliciting laughter from her team. "I'm kind of excited to see what she's gonna show," Minny whispered, pointing at you.

Cera initiated her performance with her iconic slow walk, incorporating her well-known movements. Her impeccable balance on one leg, expressive facial gestures, and powerful arm movements were all familiar, but the audience never grew tired of witnessing her art. As she drew nearer, her perfectly manicured finger traced your jawline, provoking a smirk in response to her gentle touch. Tatter watched, her blood boiling at the sight of this coquettish connection between you and Cera, despite this being your first time performing together.

Tatter couldn't decide if it was the way you stood there, captivating the crowd, or if it was all thanks to Cera's charm that made her uncomfortable.

Regardless, she didn't like it one bit.

"Chill out," Bada whispered to Tatter, noticing her clenched fist and reddening knuckles. She had been aware of Tatter's crush on you, but this level of jealousy was a new and concerning development. Bada wasn't sure if these feelings could potentially interfere with Tatter's mindset during the competition. “I am, unnie. Don’t worry.”

As they chatted, your turn was about to begin, and they heard ‘Run the World (Girls)’ by Beyonce blaring on the speakers. The song begins at the pre-chorus, and a sly grin takes over as you sway your body to the music.

My persuasion can build a nation

Endless power

You begin by pointing at yourself and slowly raise your leg, mimicking Cera’s move perfectly. You follow up with a double Tour en l'Air and hit a fan kick right before the chorus hits. Tatter’s jaw drops at your insane flexibility since she had only seen you do kpop.

Who run the world? Girls! (Girls!)

Your style switches to step dance as the drums become faster, and everyone's eyes widen.

The loud stomps, claps, and shuffles were heard even with the loud music, proving your strength on the stage. Everyone stares at you, never looking away, as you end the dance by mimicking the lyrics, ‘Who run the world? G-G-Girls!’ with a harsh salute thrown nonchalantly. Screams are heard from around, and you bow with tense shoulders, waiting for the judge's deliberation.

As soon as you spot the three light blue cards, you release the most relieved sigh you've had in a while, drowning in the ecstatic cheers from your Bebe crew members. Amid the celebration, Tatter rushes to you, wrapping you in a bone-crushing hug, her face nestled against your upper back, evoking a smile from you.

"We were well aware of Cera's battling prowess, but Y/n, you surprised us all," Mike Song remarks, seamlessly switching to English, earning nods from the other two judges. "Step dance is a rarity in Korea even if it is a competitive dance style, and witnessing it today felt like a breath of fresh air," Shownu adds, reflecting the unanimous sentiment in the studio.

"Y/n, you've shown that your style is anything but stale. It was like a revitalizing force on that stage, powerful and heavy yet refreshing," Monika praises you, prompting multiple bows from you and applause from the audience. "You totally killed it, unnie!" the sub-leader exclaims, her excitement evident as she shakes your arm. You respond with a grateful laugh, and Tatter, standing by your side, can't help but smile, recognizing the new side of yourself you've revealed to them.

You looked like you truly loved dancing.

"You were a monster out there, unnie," Tatter whispers in your ear, her voice filled with awe. You turn to her, taken aback by her bold action and compliment. Your warm smile never fades, and you casually drape your arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer. "Thanks, Tata," you reply, giving her a squeeze on the shoulder. Her face lights up with a blush, pleasantly surprised to hear her nickname from you for the first time.

In the days that followed, your focus shifted to preparing for the kpop mission. Inspired by Bada's triumph in the class mission, the crew's momentum felt unstoppable. On this particular day, the team was hard at work, rehearsing without Bada, who had laid out the dance's framework but left a few details for you to fill in. It appeared that Lusher wasn't at her best today, so you stepped up to assist her in leading the practice.

"Lush, we've got to maintain the pacing and smooth out the transition," you assert, addressing her while also ensuring the rest of the girls hear your guidance. The group makes another attempt, but the coordination is still off. Dancers collide, and a sigh escapes your lips, wearied by the struggle.

"Should I step in for Bada unnie's position while we work through this?" you suggest to the sub-leader, who nods, visibly relieved to have your guidance in this moment of uncertainty.

You counted everyone in and did the Maniac portion of the dance, nailing it more with the sound of the numbers leaving your lips. As you end, you clap, feeling happy once you all have it down. So when Bada came in, and you showed her the dance, she was grateful to see the amazing progress.

“Y/n-ah, can you watch over here with me? I want to see what you think of the first part of Not Shy,” you nod, immediately standing beside her. Bada counts the girls in, and as you try to watch everyone, you find yourself staring at the blond dancer, her confidence never hesitating as she did each move. “So what do you think?” Bada snaps you out of your thoughts.

“We should go a bit harder here,” you say, demonstrating what you’d like to see. “I agree. Let’s fix it up then?” Everyone nods at their leader, as you all kept practicing.

As the moment to showcase the 30-second choreography arrived, a wave of nervousness washed over the younger members. Tsubakill's performance had just concluded, and its strength was undeniable. You couldn't help but acknowledge that it would be a formidable challenge.

When it was Bebe’s turn, everyone was pleased to see the movement, even in awe at the imitation of double doors. It was safe to say you guys secured your place for the JYP battle, but that wasn’t the most frustrating part to come.

During each team’s copy section presentation, you were worried. As your crew added a flip, Tsubakill did as well, and Yumeri was surely confident when doing so. You knew you could’ve done the stunts yourself if needed, but you wanted the other girls to shine. So Tatter was given the hard challenge.

Practice seemed to be going well for you all, but everything began to crumble when it was time to film. As Tatter tries hitting the first flip, she stumbles, even kicking Lusher a little, and it takes every fiber in your body to keep going. Then the second flip comes, and she fails again, her depressed face more evident. Other crews did their best to cheer the girl on, which worked, as you could all finish.

From across the stage, you hurried to reach the girl, gently placing your hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?" you inquired, concern lacing your voice. She nodded, determined to hold back her tears, and you pulled her into a comforting hug. Having experienced self-disappointment yourself, you knew how painful it could be. "It's okay. You did great, Tata," you assured her, rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her, and it seemed to work, at least momentarily.

As you all took your seats, Tatter sat beside you, head bowed in dejection. Your heart ached at the sight, and you couldn't resist holding her hand, offering silent support. Another hug followed, no words spoken, just the comforting warmth of your embrace and the reassuring patting of her head. She relaxed in response to your touch, leaning in to wrap her arms around your waist and bury her face in your neck.

Your heart raced at the intimacy of the moment, feeling her breath brush against your neck. You tried to push aside the swirling thoughts, knowing that now wasn't the right time, but the connection between you and Tatter had become impossible to ignore.

You never thought of her this way before, so why was it happening now?

Throughout the day, Tatter remained close by your side, clutching your hand like a lost puppy. As the night drew to a close and everyone began packing their bags, you couldn't help but notice Tatter's hesitation to leave the practice room.

Bada, too, seemed to pick up on her reluctance and expressed her concern. Tatter had struggled with her stunts, and although you wanted to assist, you were already occupied, helping the two youngest members of the crew. "Do you plan to stay?" Bada inquired gently, directing your attention to Tatter, who nodded in response.

"Don't overexert yourself, Taeyoung. You'll do good on stage," Bada assured her, patting her back as if suggesting she should head home instead.

"I'll stay with her, unnie," you asserted, placing your belongings back on the floor. Tatter looked at you, a touch of confusion in her eyes, while Bada regarded you with a questioning gaze. "Are you sure? It's already 1 a.m., Y/n."

"I'll make sure she doesn't push herself too hard. I've got it," you reassured the older dancer, and she nodded, placing her trust in you. Once Bada left the room, a quiet atmosphere enveloped the two of you. Tatter appeared somewhat reluctant to begin, but you gently encouraged her, saying, "Come on, let me assist you so I can get you home for some much-needed rest."

You laid out a soft mat in the center for a cushion, patting your hand down on it. "Give it a shot and show me what you've got at the moment," you encouraged. Tatter reluctantly accepted her current limitations and made another attempt at the stunt, but her balance wavered, causing her to fall.

"Try putting more energy into the initial walk. The momentum will carry you through the flip," you suggested. She followed your advice, managing to execute the move, although it appeared somewhat messy at this stage. Without a word, you stepped in, gently taking her arms and guiding her back into the headstand, using your hands to steady her at the waist.

Tatter's cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson, and it wasn't solely due to the strenuous stunts she had been attempting. No, it was your gentle touch on her exposed skin that sent her heart racing. "You should focus on maintaining a better balance on your head and engaging your core muscles more," you advised her, your fingertips lightly tracing the contours of her abdomen.

She made an effort to follow your guidance, and for a moment, it appeared as though she had improved. However, when you attempted to release your support, she stumbled once more, this time toppling directly onto you.

In an attempt to prevent her from further harm, you swiftly maneuvered your right arm beneath her head. Tatter had her eyes tightly shut, bracing herself for potential pain. But when it didn't come, she cautiously opened her eyes to the sight of you, hovering protectively above her. Your gaze bore a deep concern as you leaned closer, gently moving her blonde strands out of the way.

The room was shrouded in silence, and you couldn't help but wonder why the girl couldn't meet your eyes. Then, the realization struck you—your current position left you both in a somewhat awkward situation, causing a momentary freeze. Tatter, however, slowly fluttered her eyes open, doing her best to appear composed, and you couldn't help but find her stunning. Her golden hair sprawled across the floor, a delicate blush gracing her cheeks, and her lips parted slightly as she caught her breath. You found it difficult to maintain eye contact at that moment, only regaining some semblance of composure when she whispered your name, "Unnie?"

You could almost hear yourself gulping at the whispered tone, meeting her gaze again. “Yes?”

“Thanks for staying with me.” She says, delicately pulling you into a hug, which causes your body to weigh down on hers.

Your mind was now in a frenzy at the close contact, feeling her body on yours. Trying to recover, you stand up quickly, shaking away the feelings. Your arm reaches down, and Tatter gladly accepts the help with a smile, “Come on, you’ll get this down.”

Tatter then does the part again, taking your advice, and lands the headstand and follows it up with the next move. Your eyes widened as she got it down quickly, excitedly clapping for her. She goes in for another hug, which you gladly reciprocate with a chuckle, “I’m proud of you,” you mumble, and Tatter hears the pure, genuine feeling in your voice. “Let’s go now?” You ask her, and she nods.

It had been two days after that night, finally being performance day, but you couldn’t shake away the thoughts of Tatter in your mind. It got you anxious to even step up on stage, but luckily, Tsubakill was first, so you had time to gather yourself together.

You had decided to make a bold choice. Always being known for your long-sleeved shirts, you tried something different, sporting a white sleeveless crop top instead. Specifically choosing it for one particular scene – when Lusher was in front, and we had to lift her shirt with our mouths.

Your eyes meet Tatter’s figure as she stretches and you make your way over to her. “Feeling good today?” You ask, but when she looks up, her jaw almost drops seeing you in the unfamiliar attire. You always opted to wear anything that hid your tattoos as they were a bit large, so when she sees you, her face goes red as usual. Tatter’s vision falls to the flower tattoo you had, that seems to settle on your underboob and it cascaded down to your hip. then and there, she just found you ten times hotter in the moment. “Um, Y- yeah. I feel good today.”

Definitely more than good, but moving on.

The crew watched Tsubakill go first backstage, and it made you all nervous to see them do so well, getting insane reactions from the crowd as well. You had to shake the feeling away when it was your turn to head up.

As the performance began, the crowd was electrified. The dance was fierce and dynamic, and our chemistry was palpable. You took the center position with Minah by your side as you two laughed manically, the acting being on point, as you can see Monika being thoroughly impressed. The moment of truth came when Lusher took center stage, and the crew began to lift her shirt. You watch everyone’s eyes widen when sheathing the large ink on your chest, and with Tatter behind you, she also sees the spinal tattoo.

Were you just planning on hiding your tatted self from the world? That was all she could think of, but she had to continue the dance.

Tatter's surprise had deepened, and you couldn't help but smile during the performance. The dance was a revelation, not just for the audience but for Tatter as well.

As we stood on the stage after your electrifying performance, you realized that Tatter's perception of you had shifted slightly. Her eyes became more daring every time you made eye contact, making you smirk. After the last few days, you realized that you maybe liked the girl, but this truly confirmed it for you. It was a realization that went beyond the dance floor. Tatter was seeing you in a new light, and it was a powerful connection unfolding before the both of you.

After the stage and the shooting were done, you decided to wait for her outside the building after changing into more comfortable clothing. You needed some fresh air, a moment to process the cyclone of emotions that had swept through the night. Tatter emerged from the building, her eyes still filled with the magic of the performance.

You looked at her, a sense of nervousness settling in your chest. The air was charged with the hype of the night, and it felt like the perfect moment. You took a deep breath and finally said the words that had been on your mind for a while.

"Tatter, would you like to go on a date with me?" You asked, voice a little uncertain, but eyes filled with sincerity. Tatter's surprise was evident, and her cheeks flushed with a rosy hue. But then, her eyes sparkled with joy, and a radiant smile spread across her face. "Of course, unnie. I’d love to," she replied, her voice filled with excitement and happiness.

At that moment, under the starry night sky, it felt like the universe had aligned to create a connection that was as intricate and beautiful. The journey with Bebe had brought you together, and your shared passion for dance had set the stage for a new chapter in our lives.

As you walked away from the building, hand in hand, you couldn't help but feel a sense of destiny in the air. Now, it felt like you truly fit in with the team.

A/n: this took so long to write... has little to no motivation whatsoever😭

Tag list (OPEN): @bada-lee-ily @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @nimixe @1luvkarina @lorenztired

#ssivinee #gxg #street woman fighter 2 #wlw #street woman fighter x reader #swf2 #bebe #bebe x reader #bebe tatter #tatter x reader #tatter #bebe tatter x reader #Spotify

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toastedkiwi · 4 months

Text

Bastard Child Outline

Pairing: Chris Evans x Bastard Child/Daughter!Reader

A/n: this shit has been sitting in my drafts for like three years and a year in my queue so it wouldn’t get lost in my drafts. I’ve decided I’ll just post it because I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever actually write the parts. So this is for those who were holding out hope. I’m sorry to disappoint. (Also, some bits and parts might be triggering for those who’ve dealt with abuse and self harm.) it’s long too. Not at all perfect either.

Born 1999 in Hawaii.

Mom, Emily Reed, had you when she was 15 and Chris was 16. She’s a decent person and obviously got married to surgeon. They had kids. Stepdad, Dr. Issac Reed, is a decent guy but works a lot. You’d never be his kid however. He made sure you were alright but he never had the connection with you as much as that sucked. It happens.

Your grandpa was stationed in Boston when your mom and dad got together. They had a huge fight and another girl was caught with her lips on his right before she moved with her family to Hawaii.

At 11, you start a YouTube channel under the name xXBOSLEYXx (named after your grandpa’s dog) and start posting covers since you love music. (2010)

At 12, you audition for a role in Hawaii Five-O. You get it and end up being a kidnapped kid that they have to find. It leads more people to your YouTube channel. (2011)

At 13, you go to LA by yourself since your mom had just given birth. Your aunt who’s a publicist gets you signed to a record deal along with a manager by the name of Marie Trevor. It’s decided that you’ll be known as BOSLEY. (2012)

You end up moving to LA. You record some singles which is received amazingly. You easily rise to the ranks especially with the help of some modeling gigs and acting gigs.

At 14, your mom doesn’t approve anymore as you’re gaining fame and your dad is getting bigger than ever. You get into a huge argument. She pretty much drops you as her child and your aunt is responsible of you. You drop an album. (2013)

At 15, You stop smiling for pictures which becomes signature of BOSLEY. You’re offered a small role in The Bronze getting to tell Lance Tucker to fuck off in a moving car. You happily take it and managed to befriend the actor. (2014)

At 16, You’re fully doing music and touring. School is pretty much dropped. You find that your boyfriend knocked you up. You want your mom but she won’t pick up. You end up having a miscarriage while on touring. You’re given a day to grieve and the next you have to continue on. You also perform at Kylie Jenner’s birthday party. You end up becoming good friends with the Jenner sisters which gets you more fame. You got another role playing Peter Parker’s neighbor and his second best friend. (2015)

At 17, you perform on SNL with Scarlett Johansson as the host. You release another album which kicks off another tour after you finish filming Spiderman: Homecoming. Tom Holland actually invites you to the Civil War premier and you join him. Sebastian hugs you tightly when he sees you. You don’t meet your dad. (2016)

At 18, rumors spark that you’ll be taking over the mantel as Captain America as filming for Infinity War starts. You start getting compared to Chris Evans as if it’s a fair comparison. There’s also rumors that you two might be related. You also start dating this actor, Max Wess. You attend the Spiderman premier with him. (2017)

At 19, your birth certificate is leaked.

Chris freaks out over the news. He knows your mom. He remembers her and the last night they shared together before she left without another word.

Your boyfriend ends up beating the shit out of you which one of your friends finds you barely alive and calls you an ambulance. This happens in your LA home. It’s a huge story.

Chris gets in contact with your aunt Jamie Y/l/n and she happily helps him sneak into the hospital without paparazzi catching him. He ends up sitting in the chair close to your bedside waiting for you to wake up if you ever will. He expects Emily to come. She doesn’t.

You wake up in a panic and Chris’ face is what you first see. He’s the one to tell that you’re okay and you’re safe. You learn that your jaw is wired shut. Your ribs are broken. You’re missing a kidney. You had a lot of internal bleeding. Your right hand is busted and took many screws and rods to fix. You’re definitely worried about your career especially when you found out that they had to slit your throat and put a tube in it. Your dad luckily distracts you and is sure to not bring up your mother since he’s been warned by Jamie.

“I’m really wondering how you got BOSLEY from Y/n,” Chris said.

You tapped on the keyboard of his iPad using your left index finger as he holds it for you. Chris can’t help but chuckle.

“He really named all his dogs Bosley?”

You nod and your grandpa said, “it’s a strong name.”

You turned head seeing the old man and Chris hasn’t seen him in two decades. You haven’t seen him in a good 3 years. Your grandmother heads to you easily freaking out over how you look but Chris knows you looked a lot worse. He wants to so badly ask why they didn’t tell him about you. They surely should’ve known. But he doesn’t for your sake.

“You don’t have to stay, Christopher,” your grandpa said.

Chris moves to stand up but you grasp his hand. You give the nastiest glare to your grandfather.

“Is she even gonna come?” You hissed through the wires. You aren’t supposed to try and use your voice.

“Honey,” your grandmother said. “She’s gotta look after the kids.”

You rolled your eyes and Chris could see the tears start to form. Your heart is beating faster on the monitor. He’s just as mad as you. Are you really not that important to her? If you aren’t, why didn’t she just give him you? He without would’ve taken you in and loved like a parent should.

You wave off the hands and swat them away. Tears streamed down your cheeks. You yanked out the leads as the monitor started to beep louder. It ends up showing that you’ve flatlined. You try kicking off the blankets.

“Hey, Bubba,” Chris said but you aren’t listening.

He ends up wrapping his arms around you. He takes the hits you give him. It’s heartbreaking to watch especially when you give up and cry as he held you. Nurses and doctors rushed in.

“She’s okay,” your grandpa informed as Chris comforts you as a parent should.

Once you fall back asleep with the help of some sedatives, your dad pulls your grandparents outside of your room.

“Where the fuck is Emily? Why isn’t she here? It’s clear Y/n wants her,” Chris said.

“Let’s go somewhere more private,” Lucille suggested.

Chris ends up taking them to his place after running into Tom Holland and Zendaya who are obviously there to visit you. He informs them that you’re asleep but it’d be fine for them to stop by and have them watch over you.

“They got into a huge fight over Y/n becoming BOSLEY,” your grandma said before her husband could speak. “Emily couldn’t handle it. She still holds a lot against you and she didn’t want you meeting her.”

“Really?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” your grandpa said. “Emily practically disowned her. Probably should’ve called you.”

“No fucking shit. When was the last time they talked?” Chris asked.

“3 years ago,” Lucille said.

“It’s been five since they’ve seen each other. That’s when they had their big fight,” John said.

It’s late at night when you get released from the hospital. Your dad drives you to your house. You end up getting panicky and not wanting to go in. He takes you to his place and has his assistant go tomorrow to pack some bags for you. It’s a rough night so he stays up with you watching movies together until you fall asleep.

Chris takes you to Boston the next morning on a private jet. He sets up some appointments for you with doctors in Boston to make sure you’re recovering just fine. You meet Dodger and the two of you become best friends. It’s a lot of watching movies with your dad until you ultimately crash against him due to the meds. You also can’t seem to sleep alone in the guest room due to having terrible nightmares. With the first couple, Chris didn’t want to overstep and climb into the bed to hold you and try to make it go away. But it was clear that Dodger wasn’t cutting it. Just a couple nights a week, the three of you will be together in the same bed. Chris jokingly got you one of those starry night projectors but you both love it.

“What are you doing here?” You hear you’re dad hiss.

“It’s called dropping by unannounced to annoy you and to rescue your child from you,” Scott sassed.

“You are not taking my child anywhere, Scott,” Chris said.

“You make it sound like I wouldn’t bring her back,” Scott said.

Scott ends up taking you both out of the house. You have to listen to them both sing along with the radio. You end up capturing the two brothers on your phone. You agree going over to your grandparents house and meeting them even though you’re still recovering. It distracts you for awhile.

You get some news you don’t want to hear about your hand. It’s not healing as the doctors would like. They don’t know if you’ll be able to play guitar or piano (which will be one handed) like you had before. You end up having the surgery. Sebastian Stan surprises you when you wake up.

“Fuck off,” is what Sebastian says to you. You a small smile.

“Why’d ya say that?” Chris asked.

“It’s what your child first said to me when we met,” Sebastian said.

You hummed loudly to a song in your head making them laugh.

“She acts exactly like you when you’re drunk,” Sebastian teased.

As much as Chris wants to stay with you during your recovery, he does have to film but thankfully it’s in Boston. It’ll be like he has a regular job. However, there’s not much for you to do or you can do. You can’t sing or write. You end up getting stuck in your thoughts which isn’t a great place to be in for a long period of time.

Scott and Chris can clearly tell you’re absolutely miserable. Nobody knows how to help you out and get you out of it. Your dad ends up calling whoever he can. He calls Sebastian, Tom Holland, your manager, Scarlett, his mother.

Scarlett asks him, “what does she do for a living?”

“She’s a popstar,” Chris said.

“There’s your answer.”

He ends up getting a grand piano and putting it in the living room where the dining room table is. The table ends up in the garage with the chairs. It takes Chris playing a song poorly on it for you to come over and smack his left hand off the keys. It makes him smile as you play the song with your left hand and he plays with his right.

“Sit down next to me,” Chris said.

You sit next to him on the bench. He puts his left arm around your shoulders pulling you closer.

“Play me something,” he requested.

You give him a look that he’s been known to give people. He smiles. You let out a sigh- it’s more like a slight hiss. You play him a song. It turns into two and then into more.

You and your dad fly to LA as he’s got meetings and your ex has finally been arrested for what he did to you. You definitely built some walls up and retract from your dad as much as that sucks. Chris just knows he’s gotta be patient because he can’t force you to open up to him or you’ll probably push him so far away to the point of no return. Besides it’s only been 7 weeks since you first met each other.

“Hey, Y/n. I’m gonna watch The Muppets, you should join me,” Chris said after knocking on the bathroom door. “I’ll be in the living room.”

You stared at the door and listened to him walk away. You look back at the OxyContin in your hand. The pill bottle has your name on it. It was prescribed and filled once you were released from the hospital. There’s five pills left. You unscrew the top with some difficultly. You dump the little pills in the toilet and flush them. You drop the pill bottle in the trash and turned on the faucet. You let your left hand go under the water and you see the faint lines on your wrist. You’d let a blade run over them again but The Muppets will have to do.

“You’re just in time,” Chris smiled seeing that you took him up on his offer.

You sit right next to him. You both end up sharing a blanket as he noticed you getting cold.

You get your wires out in LA making it much easier to hold a conversation with people. You also get spotted out with your dad to dinner to celebrate that you can finally eat soft foods which blows up everywhere. You easily get backlash and told that you’re using him as a publicity stunt. Both his team and your own team finally meet on how to deal with the situation.

You finally speak up in the meeting. “I’m not doing fucking GMA or Ellen to talk about my sad little life and how it’s all good now ‘cause Captain America’s my dad. Are you insane? Have you not seen the shit I get from everyone? How everyone believes that everything that has happened— my boyfriend beating shit out of me because I told him to ‘fuck off’ to a leaked birth certificate revealing that fucking Chris Evans is my dad is just for publicity. It will not go over well especially with that fucking asshole out on bail talking shit because he can.”

You leave after snapping at everyone. Chris tries to talk to you but you snap at him telling him that he doesn’t know you and he’s not your dad. It definitely hurts to hear.

You don’t go back to his place which has him worried. He checks your home. You aren’t there.

You end up going to Hawaii to see your mom. It leads to a huge blow out. You’re screaming at her and she’s screaming at you. You’re told that she never wanted you and you were a mistake that she was saving Chris from. It truly destroys you.

Chris doesn’t see you again until he gets a call from your assistant in the middle of the night after she found you unconscious in the pool of your own blood. He of course comes even if you don’t want him there. He’ll sit at your bedside or the waiting room. He has to know that you’ll be okay.

“I’m gonna state this once and for all,” Chris said to you. “You’re stuck with me and I’m sorry that I’m your dad. I don’t know how to be one but I’ll figure it out.”

You cried which makes him climb into the hospital bed. He holds you tightly as you cry. He can tell you’ve gone through so much and you haven’t really had anyone. They’ve always left.

Chris takes you back to Boston once you get your cast off and sadly you’ll need another surgery but it thankfully can wait a bit. You start seeing a therapist that he helped find. You don’t talk about what was said in the room but he can you’re coming out of shell a bit.

You and Chris are seen again going to a courtroom in LA with Scott coming along. You even have some friends come in support. There’s tons of paparazzi and gossip sites covering it. It’s not a very fun experience especially with you having to take the stand and Chris learning some very heartbreaking things that you went through. Your ex tries to spew more lies about you and drag your dad into it. It’s thankfully over after three days and your ex is found guilty.

A celebratory dinner takes place at your favorite restaurant in LA. Chris gets to see you let loose a bit and smile more. He knows as BOSLEY that you don’t smile especially not in pictures. It’s your whole image that has been created and with everything that has happened, it hasn’t been a happy experience.

“Get next to her,” Chris is told.

You both grin widely with cheeks pressed together for one of your friends to take a picture. It gets posted on your dad’s twitter with a caption “there’s no denying it, I have a mini-me.” You retweet it.

#chris evans headcanon #chris evans x daughter!reader #chris evans x bastard child!reader #sebastian stan x reader (platonic)#chris evans #bastard child

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hotvintagepoll · 6 months

Text

Propaganda

Marion Davies (Show People, the Patsy)— JUSTICE FOR MARION DAVIES. I am always so upset when I learn that some people STILL think she was some untalented pretty face who was only a success because of her relationship with Hearst. Please watch literally any of her movies, silent or sound, to see how untrue this is. She was successful in spite of Hearst's constant meddling. She really shines as a comedienne. Just watch her imitate other silent stars in The Patsy, or her screwball antics in Show People. I've watched so many silents just for her, but she was also really good in sound films, too, like Blondie of the Follies. She's absolutely adorable, and she deserves to be recognized for her talent, alone.

Rita Hayworth (Gilda, Cover Girl)—Absolutely, drop-dead gorgeous. She steals every movie she’s in; she was Fred Astaire’s favorite dance partner, as you can see in clips from their movies [link][link]. Born Margarita Carmen Cansino, Rita's story had its tragedies—her father was awful and had her performing in nightclubs way, way too young; the studio totally remade her look because they were afraid of her hispanic image, putting her through painful treatments and diets; she had a string of failed marriages. But beside all that, I think there's something about Rita that still glows through—an inner beauty that has nothing to do with the studio, or the men who pinned their dreams on her. Rita brings an incandescence to roles that's impossible to replicate, and was truly a great actress in that she could switch from herself—shy Margarita—into a bold and glamorous femme fatale so convincingly everyone fell in love with her as Gilda. She's my favorite movie star, and I think she was a beautiful human through and through—Rita, gorgeous and real and shining bright.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Marion Davies:

the queen of comedy

If anyone is looking for a tragic infamous funny fav, this is your girl! She came from a catholic convent to become a showgirl! As many of these early Hollywood stars, she fell victim to falling in love with the wrong man. She had a long lasting affair with a older powerful married man, William Hearst. Their story was so iconic and scandalous that it is largely what inspired Citizen Kane. She gained her fame through him, which eventually gathered her the reputation of being social-climbing and taking advantage of more her looks than her talent. This made her controversial, which wasn't helped by her flirty fun personality and attitude towards other actors (including Charlie Chaplin). All of this hate meant that she was eventually ostracized by Hollywood and even blamed for Hearst's death. My poor girl was excitable, funny, charismatic, energetic, and extremely talented. I believe that at her heart and soul, she was truly a clown. She possesses an incredible gift for mimicry, a deceptively animate face, and an absence of on-screen ego that allows her to throw herself into anything, no matter how foolish or potentially embarrassing, with all of her considerable energy. And it's those ridiculous moments that are almost always her best in film, because to me, that's really who she was. She was silly and sweet and so so so so so funny! And she deserved better than the tragedy of the life she got.

Rita Hayworth:

Do you need any other propaganda? Here’s the video.

youtube

She was not called "the love goddess" for nothing: beautiful, glamorous, despite playing sexy and provocative roles her inherent shyness somehow also would shine through sometimes, creating this contradictory and incredibly attractive image

Often played "the bad girl" who tempted the male hero away from "the good girl"; but did have roles that broke her out of that mold. She was also the inspiration for Jessica Rabbit. THE pinup girlie.

HELP

youtube

She was soo beautiful when she was young and she MAINTAINED that beauty into her later years and I think that old lady glamour is hot. bombastic sex appeal

every line she delivers in gilda is so flirty and passionate or absolutely desolate and it's so good

I just have a lot of feelings about her

#rita hayworth #marion davies #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 3 #Youtube

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jaylver · 1 year

Text

SILVER SPRINGS — P.JS

synopsis: falling in love and starting a band with a man who you swore to be your soulmate was your first mistake. after your break up, you wrote a song about him, not knowing performing it with him would soon haunt him for a long time.

pairings: guitarist!jay x singer afab!reader

genre: lovers to exes, broken relationship, break up, band au

warning(s): angst, profanities

wc: 1480

a/n: yes this is another jay fic ... guilty. and it's also a fic based off a song ... guilty. dedicated to any fleetwood mac fans because this is based off their song 'silver springs' and also inspired by stevie nicks and lindsey buckingham's relationship, specifically that ONE performance. hope you enjoy this one! please leave a feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

Who said breaking up with your boyfriend who also happened to be part of your band was a great idea? Not you.

You blamed the fame. Something in you had a feeling that blowing up and gaining attention would eventually turn sour, but you didn’t think it would affect your relationship. It got to both you and him.

Jay, your first love and the man who you started the band with, called it quits right before a show.

He was a sweetheart, and he has always had decent manners, but to break up with you before performing was a low blow. Maybe it was an outburst that he could no longer hold in, or he just had an intrusive urge to do so, but whatever it was, it was so unprofessional and not cool.

Obviously, you turned up on stage almost ripping the guitar out of his hand and smashing it into pieces, but you didn't. Instead, your eyes were red and puffy, voice hoarse and stage presence at its all time low, just like you. The drummer of your band, Heeseung, was avoiding the tension actively, whilst Yunjin on the keyboard was casting concerned glaces. Then there was Jake, the other guitarist, glancing in worry between you and Jay.

It didn't take long before fans figured out something was wrong, and their theories were proven correct when the news got leaked out. Just great, wasn't it? Especially when you were at your peak of fame.

"Oh, don't say that she was pretty,"

It was pathetic. Arguing with Jay and breaking down crying one night when he came back to your shared apartment to get his things.

You didn't expect your sudden outburst during then. You admitted that it was you who picked an argument first, but how could you not when he brought up his recent date?

"Did she say that she loved you?" You mocked, noticing the things you've said had angered him equally.

"Fuck off, would you? We're done, alright?"

His words cut deep, unexpected and surprising. You scoffed, turning your head away from him. "I loved you years ago, but have you ever loved me?"

"Don't talk bullshit with me, Y/N. I've always loved you!"

"Then why would you talk to her while we were together?" You choked down a sob, remembering the rumours plastered over the tabloids, ones where he never denied. That was when you began not to love him, losing sparks and devotion.

Jay was silent, jaw clenching and the grip on his boxes tightened. He knew you struck bullseye and he couldn't deny it. He was aware that he's a prick, a scumbag that didn't deserve you, so he'd gladly take all the punches from you, but seeing you cry was making him weak.

“Can you tell me, was it worth it?"

The silence followed, tension filling the air around you. He shook his head, holding onto his boxes and turning around for the door. That was the end, wasn’t it?

“I know I could’ve loved you but you wouldn’t let me,” you said softly, falling onto a chair, needing to have a seat before your feelings overwhelmed you.

Without anything more from him, the door closed, leaving you to yourself in the home you once shared with the love of your life. Now, it was an empty shell reminding you of times you had together, continuously haunting you even as you took a pen and started writing down lyrics into your notebook.

Releasing the song you wrote about Jay was probably the best and worst decision you’ve pulled.

Despite the break up, the state of your band wasn’t affected, instead you two took the professional path and kept it together for the sake of achieving each other’s dreams. It was hard and definitely awkward at the start, but you grew accustomed to everything eventually.

What you didn’t expect was the song blowing up. The fans loved it, they ate it up, taking in every part of the dramatics of your break up. Of course, the label and your bandmates didn’t mind the fame that came along with it, but you could tell Jay was bothered.

It was the night of your first performance after your break up and the song’s success. You mustered the little courage left in you, hoping you wouldn’t crumble whilst singing the song you wrote about him, or literally any song in general. Thankfully, the set list was short, and all you needed to do was sing then leave. Easier said than done.

You heard the screams of fans, felt the flashing of lights, but all you could think of was Jay who stood to your left, setting his electric guitar up. It might've taken you a while to come to an idea of getting back at him, but it was definitely a great one. Singing the song you wrote about him while all he could do was listen, coming on stage and be reminded of you, those could be your best revenge.

The familiar sounds of the guitar began the song slowly, you sang naturally and didn't think much about it. That's when you felt his lingering gaze on you, the same eyes that stared back at you with love once were filled with unspeakable emotions.

As the song continued on, reaching almost the end, the tension between you and him only grew. You turned to face him now, holding tightly onto the microphone stand, pouring out your vulnerability with each word, never breaking eye contact once.

"I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you, give me just a chance!" you sang harder, seeing him strumming his guitar with equal strain.

"You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you," hands reaching out to him, you felt as if you were the only ones there. "Was I such a fool?"

You were professing your love for the last time, knowing he had already moved on, you were just a fool. Anger, pure rage were genuine and raw as it continuously flowed from you.

"You'll never get away, never get away, never get away!"

Every word from you came out like a spell, cursing him with every ounce of you. Your lyrics were placing an eternal curse on him, one that has him never getting away from you, your voice and your pain.

Jay stared back with the same ferocity, his eyes screaming loud, gaze never leaving you for even a second.

Until the last minute of your stage, you only learnt to breathe deeply and stop your stare on your past lover, legs weak and head spiralling. Oh God, you need a whole tub of ice cream once you get home.

Being left alone in your own room backstage after closing the set, you finally had the freedom to collect your emotions and thoughts, still shaking a little. It didn't take long before you heard a knock on the door, expecting Yunjin to come and check up on you, but it wasn't.

It was Jay.

"Hey," he breathed out, seeing your seemingly beaten down state.

"Hi," you couldn't believe he was here, not when you literally sang a song about him to his face earlier.

"I–uh–just wanted to come and tell you that … it was a great performance. You did well,"

"Oh," that totally caught you off guard. "Thank you,"

The awkwardness between you and him made you cringe. It wasn't an everyday occurence to be in a band with your ex and having to see him frequently, especially when he came to compliment you.

"I hate this, Y/N. I don't want you to hate me but I understand if you do. I'm sorry, for the things I've done and said. Just … don't be a stranger,"

"I won't," you said shakily, gulping in anxiety. "I've got too much love for you, it doesn't just dissipate after years. You're always going to be someone to me,"

Jay smiled, releasing a breath of relief. "I love you too, and I wish nothing but happiness for you,"

"For the both of us."

Months passed and the success of the band only grew bigger. You and Jay were on civil terms, but nothing was the same as it was.

Jay might've slowly gotten over you and the break up, but it seemed that you kept haunting him.

Walking down the streets, he saw your face on bilboards for campaigns you've shot for. Going into stores, he heard your voice playing from the speakers. Performing on stage, you were there, under the bright lights, shining and sparkling.

He would never get away from the sound of the woman that loved him. He would never escape you.

Time might've casted a spell on him, but he would never forget you and you would always, always haunt him.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog

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