#she loved that dolphin more than i did but ended up ripping it apart

[freebooter4ever]

I dont believe in love at first sight by any stretch of the imagination, but there's something that happens sometimes when i meet a person - and i dont mean just seeing them i mean start to talk, like actually talk - that says this connection is different, platonic or romantic. (it took meeting “Paul” twice for us to even have a proper conversation and after we did we were both like why the fuck did we waste so much time not being friends)

I wish i knew what makes it different. I wish i knew why with some people silly mundane things can feel like the most exciting thing. What quirk of personality makes it more interesting with them than with anyone else? Like, say when a friend calls you up and says ‘hey i need to grb beer and snacks can you give me a ride?’ and you're like ‘fuck yeah why not’ cause you know with this friend, no matter what you do it's gonna be awesome. Or giggling in a supermarket while looking at pasta cause no reason. Or stopping a walk in the middle of a random neighborhood because suddenly in that moment the sunset and light is perfect and it must be appreciated. Or spending two hours carefully checking light bulbs to find the single burnt out bulb in a christmas light string. Or sitting in a crowded club booth knitting while everyone else dances cause your friend just isnt feeling it tonight. Or taking photos with a weird ass dolphin mural that happened to be on the walk to dinner. Or driving through snow to the end of the forest road, just because. (all of these are different people btw)

But then with other people i can do exciting planned out events with them - and its great, the best. But when we are alone the excitement fades. And something is missing. Like a gaping ache. And i can never fucking explain. 

As grandma once said - with grandpa nothing was ever ‘the usual’, even things they did every night like go to the back room and watch columb*o on tv never felt boring when he was with her. And i didnt say it but i was thinking : grandma aren't you old? Shouldn't that have faded by like the first 50 years together? 

But also, i knew exactly what she meant and i think ive been searching for a version of that for myself my whole life. Because my version of it always ends - friends move away, i move away, nick fucking rips my heart out and smashes it under his foot when he tells me he didnt say goodbye before leaving the city because he thought he wouldnt miss me at all (im not bitter) , lives drift apart emotionally, etc. And im really REALLY happy and grateful for the periods when i am feeling that platonic or romantic love.

But god i wish it happened more often. And i wish it didnt feel like nails on a chalkboard when im trying to force it. If im not always a little secretly thrilled when im with someone no matter where we are or what we are doing, i think i know deep down its not The One. and i get antsy and guilty and like an itch in the back of everything i do.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Para-Selene Vol.6 Sakamaki Subaru Animate Tokuten CD

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS Para-Selene Vol. 6 逆巻スバル アニメイト 各巻購入特典ドラマCD

Source: Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 6 Sakamaki Subaru Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Takashi Kondou

Translator’s note: I don’t know if they are popular in other countries too but aquarium dates have always struck me as such a typical Japanese thing. I’ve seen it so often in anime/dramas/etc. but in real life, I’ve never really heard of two people going on a date to an aquarium. :p If anything, it’s mostly just parents with their children visiting those places. I loved all of Subaru’s little tsundere moments where he would grow jealous over the fish because they captured his S/O’s attention. xD His bolder attitude near the end of the CD wasn’t half bad either. <u<

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

The two of you are walking in public.

“Che...This fuckin’ sucks...The aquarium lures in visitors at night as well!? ...Do you really enjoy comin’ here with me?”

You nod, smiling.

“...! ...I see. Damn, guess you give me no other choice. I’ll keep you company then.”

Subaru suddenly comes to a halt.

“This pool attracted more people than I would have expected. What’s happenin’ over here?”

You explain.

"The Dolphin Night Show? Hmー”

You ask if he would like to watch.

“I don’t mind but are there any open seats left?”

You point.

“Hm? ...Ah, you’re right. Guess we can sit down there then.”

The two of you walk towards your seats.

*Splash*

“Oh. Seems like it started already.”

*Splash splash*

“Ah...Hm...”

*SPLASH*

“Haah...

...The fuck’s so interestin’ ‘bout this? It’s just a bunch of dolphins jumpin’ in the air and headbuttin’ some balls. ...Say? How much longer will this go on fo...Oh...Fuck. Look at her watchin’ in awe like a damn kid...”

*Splash splash*

You suddenly turn your head towards Subaru.

“...Eh? W-W-What!?”

You ask why he was looking.

“...W-Who says I was lookin’ at you!? Don’t be gettin’ the wrong idea, geez!”

The crowd cheers.

“M-More importantly, the dolphins are ‘bout to pull somethin’ again so shouldn’t you watch that?”

You turn your attention back to the show.

“...They call it a ‘big jump’ but is this shit really worth gettin’ so excited over?”

*SPLASH*

“...Woah! Amazin’...! So high...!”

The two of you get splashed with water in the process.

“...Ugh.”

*Clap clap clap*

“The water splashed all the way over here, huh...? ...O-Oi!? Are you alright!? ーー Actually, you got pretty soaked. Do you have anythin’ to wipe yourself down?”

You start rummaging through your bag.

*Rustle rustle*

“Aah...Then use that towel.”

You offer to wipe his hair as well. 

“...Hah? Nah, I’m good.”

You insist.

“I don’t catch colds, so it’s fine. Instead you should worry ‘bout yourself, right? Your hair got wet as well so hurry up and wipe it.”

You act tough.

“Hell no it’s ‘fine’. ...Gimme. I’ll do it.”

You become hesitant.

“Oi! How am I supposed to wipe your hair when you back away like that? Come closer!”

Subaru scoots closer. 

“Keep still, ‘kay?”

*Rustle rustle*

“...There we go. Guess that should do. ...Your clothes aren’t that wet at least. ...Oi. Why are you all tensed up? Also, your face’s red. D-Don’t tell me...You’ve got a fever!?”

You explain.

“...Hah? I’m too close? ...!! D-Don’t get all flustered over every single lil’ thing...!”

He moves away a little.

“Here, you can have your towel back. Also...Wear my jacket.”

Subaru throws his jacket your way.

*Thud*

“Stop complainin’ and just put it on. It didn’t get wet and...It should help you warm up a lil’ at least. I don’t want you...to catch a cold. (1)”

You thank him.

“No need to thank me, honestly. ...The show has ended so should we go to the next thing? There’s still other stuff you wanted to see, no?”

You nod before the two of you get up from your seats.

*TIMESKIP*

“...That bein’ said, the inside of an aquarium is darker than I expected. You better not trip, ‘kay? “

You tell him that won’t happen.

“Heh. I wonder? You’re a huge klutz, aren’t you? You’d definitely trip and fall while gettin’ distracted by the fish.”

You puff out your cheeks and protest. 

“Heh. Let’s see ‘bout that. ...Let’s go.”

You suddenly stop walking.

“Hm? What’s wrong? ...Oh, jellyfish.”

You note that they are very beautiful. 

“...Aah? What’s so pretty ‘bout these gelatinous blobs? They lit up, that’s all, right?”

You continue to look at them.

“...You like these guys?”

You suddenly start dragging Subaru towards the tank with jellyfish.

*Rustle*

“...Wah!? ...F-Fine! You want to go there, right!? Don’t pull me!”

You are totally excited about watching the jellyfish.

“Are they really that beautiful? They’re just floatin’, right? I don’t get the appeal at all...”

You continue to watch the jellyfish in awe.

“Haah...She’s totally enraptured by those damn jellyfish...I don’t get chicks...”

He continues to watch you in silence.

“...You’ve seen enough, right? Let’s go already.”

You want to watch the jellyfish just a little longer. 

“Che...I’m goin’ ahead. I’ll leave you behind if you take too long!”

You try and chase after him but nearly trip in the process.

“...! Watch ouーー!”

Subaru catches you in his arms just in time.

*Thud*

“...Ugh. Haah...See, what did I tell you? You almost landed on the floor. You really are so clumsy.”

Your cheeks flush bright red.

“Wait. ...Hmm~? Look at those flushed cheeks...You’re basically tellin’ me I’m free to do what I want, right? In that case, I won’t hold back. I’ll suck you to my heart’s content, right here, right now.”

You protest.

“I won’t wait. If you don’t behave, I’m gonna rip apart your throat with my fangs.”

You immediately keep still. 

“Hehe. Perfect. Just be a good girl, and I’ll make sure you enjoy it.”

Subaru nearly bites you but other people arrive.

“ーー Ugh. There’s visitors approachin’, huh? ...Fuck off.”

You frown.

“Oi, don’t get all worried over some other people.”

You shake your head.

“It’s not ‘impossible’. All you need to do is focus on me.”

You insist.

“Haah...Guess you leave me no other choice. If you’re that desperate, I guess I won’t suck you here.”

You sigh in relief.

“Why do you seem so relieved? I won’t suck you here, but you better don’t believe this is the end.”

*Rustle*

“If we can’t do it here, we can simply go somewhere a lil’ more private, right? In that case, we can both have some fun.”

Subaru grabs your hand.

“Let’s head home. We’ll continue where we left off once inside our room. ...I’ll give you my love until you fall apart.”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says he would be troubled if she were to catch a cold, however, the expression ‘I don’t want you’ sounded more natural to me in English. 

[youarejesting]

Wash Out.21 (Sope Special)

[Master List]

Banners: @purpleskies1999 Pairings: Dolphintrainer!Taehyung x SharkDiver!Jin,  Mer!Jimin x Reader, Scientist!Namjoon x MerKing!Jungkook, Mer!Yoongi x Mer!Hoseok. Rating: 16+ Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, little bit of Action, Slice of life, Enemies2Lovers, Friends2lovers, Social media au, Fake Texts, Fake Subs.

Summary: Taehyung and his best friend Y/N are Dolphin trainers at Wash Out; Marine Wildlife and Theme Park. When the nerdy marine biologist and resident veterinarian Doctor Kim Namjoon goes missing; the two friends form a ragtag team with Taehyung’s rival Seokjin and a…. Fish?

[Prev] [Next]

Yoongi stood still, his legs shaking. It was not normal for him to be standing for this length of time. They were mermaids used to having tails their strength in the water. Swimming was like breathing. Of course their legs only appeared on their sacred land under the ocean.

They couldn’t walk on human land, could never compare to their leg strength. Most Mermaids spent their days in the water only entering the sacred land for celebrations. Yoongi being one of many guards would protect the royal family, albeit there was no longer a royal family. Jungkook was all that was left, a prince forced to be a king before he was ready. 

Guards were the most common of the merfolk to adorn legs. Jungkook was confined to the sacred land, his time in the water limited. Anything to keep him safe from the threat of other merclans. Each guard embellished in the silk of the clams. Byssus was woven finely like silk, the light material was surprisingly warm enough to protect the guards and King whilst in their more vulnerable form.

Yoongi looked across the crystal throne room, the love of his life standing just as tall, his stature stronger than Yoongi’s. A feat as Jungkook tore the room apart, bioluminescent vines and lanterns ripped from the walls. Food and wine splattered on the floor of their ancestors.

Hoseok’s mouth turned down, the sight unnatural for his usually cheerful disposition. The hardest part of their job was raising Jungkook, it seemed no matter how hard they tried to teach him right and wrong, politics and history they still came up short. He didn’t have a family, not anymore, he didn’t know how to share and never had to work for relationships. 

Everyone adored him, feared him, doted on his every whim. He was given the finest foods and all the newest technology Merfolk could offer. Anything to keep him content in his prison. It surprised Yoongi that Jungkook hadn’t questioned his confines, that he was complacent with their level of control over his freedom.

Jungkook no longer understanding, why his new found friend was so reluctant to stay. He extended all his riches and gifts to the human, something other merfolk would cherish. 

“Why does he still want to leave, with me he could be treated as a king,” Jungkook seethed, throwing a leg over the arm of his throne massaging his temples. “Leave me.”

Hoseok marched dutifully to Yoongi, supporting the older merman as they made their exit. Walking him to the entrance of the underwater cove, the air though damp enough to keep their lungs from feeling dry, they much preferred sinking into the cool water. Doing so allowed the power of the sacred land to slip away leaving only their natural form. 

The two transformed their black and blue tails wrapping around each other, a romantic gesture Yoongi enjoyed more than he wished to admit. They relaxed in eachothers arms peacefully, sinking further until they landed on the floor of the large network of caves. This is where most of the merfolk lived as they were still protected from the open ocean.

Under the cove was wide and besides a few stalagmite and stalactite the surface was predominantly flat. However the local life was anything but, everyone bustling around the settlement enjoying tending to the seaweed, crafting and protecting the sealife. 

“Jungkook, is struggling. He doesn’t understand how to handle rejection. He doesn’t understand that people value the same things,” Hoseok mumbled, massaging Yoongi’s lower back to help relieve tension from standing for such a long time.

“That human cannot survive long under the ocean, he grows weaker by the day, barely eating.” Yoongi huffed, “If Jungkook doesn’t let him go, the poor thing will die, Jungkook isn’t ready to experience something like that so close to him.”

“I think he has gotten too attached, losing this human might break him,” Hoseok bit his lip, “Dare I say he is in love with him, he could be his promised.”

Yoongi scoffed, the idea that Jungkook happened to find his promised one and he was a human, the first human he had ever met. Yoongi and Hoseok were unaware they were each other's promised until Yoongi had a week off from guard duty and started to get really sick. The two had met in the infirmary wasting away and only in one another's company did their condition improve. “Hoseok, that’s a bit much.”

A figure swam down the path quickly, heading straight to the sacred cove entrance, carrying something large. Was someone trying to attack their home? The two fell apart taking up offensive stances, each lurching forward when they spotted Jimin holding an unconscious human.

“Not another one,” Yoongi chastised, eyes sweeping over Jimin trying to be inconspicuous. Though he cared he showed it silently, not fond of open praise. The kind to listen and assist others out of sight.

“I have to make sure he is alright,” Jimin gave no further explanation, swimming up into the cove entrance dragging the human onto the sacred land. Jimin’s gold tail disappearing, leaving behind two bare legs. 

Wrapping himself in a cloth, the two followed. Yoongi strained to lift himself into an upright position. Hoseok brought out their usual transport, especially for Jungkook’s deliveries. In this case they threw the unconscious human across the shell of the crustacean and they headed to their king.

“Are all humans this big?” Yoongi asked, eyeing the figure draped beside Jimin. The two crab-pooling wasn’t the issue, the way Jimin looked genuinely concerned for the human was. It was no good for humans and Merfolk to fall in love, the dynamic wouldn’t end well. 

“No, they aren’t all this big, some of them are small, delicate and beautiful. They are magnificent, fascinating beings. Some are scary and mean and others are innocent and protective, just trying to do the right thing.” Jimin whispered, checking the humans breathing once more. 

“Is he your promised?” Hoseok asked softly, not knowing how to approach the topic sensitively. Jimin smiled, shaking his head. The thought appeared to have amused him.

“He is someone else’s promised,” Jimin said, “But I think I met her, she was beautiful and strong, never letting anyone stop her, never letting bad things keep her down. She would swim head first into enemy waters to save someone she barely knows.

The human groaned, “Where am I?” Jimin let out a sigh of relief, this human was waking up and didn’t seem to be physically hurt, at least there were no wounds they could see upon his flesh. “Am I dead?”

“No, you are not dead, you are in our settlement.” Jimin grinned at the disorientation present in Seokjin’s words. He was struggling to enunciate his words, each more like a whine drawn out.

Upon entering the crystal throne room the group tried their best to support the sluggish human inside. Gaining the attention of Jungkook, ceasing his brooding long enough to assist the three struggling mermen. As if hearing the commotion or perhaps Seokjin’s terrible jokes Namjoon emerged from where he had been staying.

“Jin! Are you okay?” Namjoon grabbed his friend, checking him over for injury, “What are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you and avoiding the police, I ran my car off the cliff and also may have destroyed the letter box outside your beach house.” He laughed, “Never really liked it anyway.”

“You did what?” Namjoon said, concerned, “Are you crazy?”

“Listen, we were being chased. It was all for you, and Jimin of course, returning Jimin and rescuing you.” Seokjin smiled at his friend. Yoongi thought these humans were weird, they were reckless and too odd for his liking. “I even teamed up with Taehyung and Y/n in order to save you. Do you know how hard that was?”

“Didn’t seem hard at all, you and Taehyung seemed to get along really well.” Jimin pushed the human with a smile, it was weird to see Jimin acting so comfortable with the humans. “We will return you so that the issue can be resolved, I am starting to grow worried about how we left.”

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asked confused

“Humans tackled Y/n and Taehyung dragged me into the water. Right before you and your car contraption fell into the water I killed the man who scared you all.” Jimin said proudly, this didn’t seem to go over well with the human’s. Yoongi hoped Jimin didn’t do something stupid turf war wasn’t on his to do list.

Yoongi didn’t understand the words coming from Seokjin’s face, if he had to liken it to anything, it sounded like vulgar slang, curse words. The human looked panicked.

“We have to go back, they are probably being sent to prison,” Seokjin said, trying to leave unsure which direction to go, “They are in big trouble.”

“Can’t you just talk to your king and explain and they will be removed from prison?” Jimin said

“Prison doesn’t work the same as it does here,” Namjoon explained, “Very Very bad people go to prison, Murderer’s, thieves and other despicable humans put in one place.”

“Yeah and if they go to prison, they may be beaten or worse,” Seokjin huffed. Jimin looked up at Jungkook who nodded, bringing out a small mirror and handing it to Jimin.

Looking over Jimin’s shoulder, Yoongi noticed a human different to the two infront of him, she was feminine delicate and leaking. “What is happening to her?”

“She is crying,” Jimin explained, “Humans do that when they are hurt or in despair, from what I have been told they do the same when they are happy too.”

“Confusing and a little stupid.” Hoseok laughed, “How do you know the difference?”

The charges have been dropped, Namjoon breathed listening to the interrogator, explaining that they couldn’t record the phenomenon that occurred on the beach. “They are being let go,” He smiled, a sight Yoongi hadn’t seen since he first laid eyes on their large domestic crustaceans.

“There is Taehyung,” Seokjin called out looking down, the two humans looked void of any emotion, they collected their things and climbed into the police car getting an escort to their homes. “They are safe and that’s all that matters.” 

Seokjin smiled, his eyes leaking much to Yoongi’s disgust. Namjoon smiled, he seemed a little amused by the older human. “I remember distinctly you saying you hated Taehyung with a passion and wanted him to choke on a sardine.” They two laughed for a moment, “When did things change?” 

“I guess when you are working as a team to save someone you develop an understanding.” Seokjin shrugged his large shoulders, “It also didn’t help that he was living in my house for almost a week.”

“You like him,” Namjoon poked him, “Admit it you have feelings for him.”

“We can head back when you are ready, we have returned Jimin home safely.” Seokjin smiled, looking around at the group and smiling, “I am Seokjin by the way, you can call me Jin.”

The man was goofy, reminding Yoongi of Jungkook himself, the two so alike in their childlike nature, letting themself play without hesitation. It was almost admirable that people could act so carefree, unaffected by how they could be perceived.

“I don’t know if I am allowed to leave?” Namjoon said, his smile falling, eyes fixed on the ground before him. 

Yoongi looked at his king, the spoiled young man reflecting on his actions, it had been many days since they saw the young man smile. Almost expecting him to refuse, Yoongi schools his expression when he doesn’t. 

“You should go, You don’t belong down here?” Jungkook took the mirror before walking away from the group to sit on the throne. He lowered his head looking at his reflection trying to distract himself from the pain. Letting your promised go was the hardest thing a merperson could do. Under normal circumstances, promises are only parted by death.

Namjoon walked over, placing a hand on the king's head and smiling at him, “If ever you want to visit, I would be happy to show you some great places, places you would love.” Jungkook’s broken heart warmed at the human’s dimples appearing softly in the flesh of his cheeks.

That was the last thing they needed, their king running off for a romance on the coast line. Seokjin swung his arm around Jimin playfully, the merman giggling whilst his legs almost buckled. “Yeah Jimin knows the private beach by Namjoon’s house, he can show you the way if you ever want to visit.”

Tags: @backinblack1967 @miriamxsworld @moccahobi @simplymemyself @a-gayish-unicorn @ella-mella @vjinfan23​

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[c-c-cherry]

Hello~ Y’all know I love Josuke so here’s my take on it <3

In my opinion, I feel like despite having a lot of physical stamina and a stand that makes it really easy for him to do a job like that, police life just wouldn’t be for him. If anything, fighting threats and enemy stands on the side with help from the SPW seems much easier to me! I also feel like he has a bit of a saviour/hero complex and,,,people like that with jobs like that...let’s just say things tend to get messy sometimes.

Long story short, he could fit virtually any job but I’m a strong advocate for doctor or nurse Josuke specializing in primary care and physical injury!!!

Follow me through the weird journey that occurred in my brain as I thought of Dr. Josuke shenanigans. This was literally so fucking fun thank you anon:

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

-I think, especially after the Kira fight, the last thing he would really want to do is a more combat or command-heavy job like that

- He wouldn’t want to be tied down to it for the rest of his life and would rather use his abilities to heal than be involved in conflict :)

-Hear me out on this—but post-canon he had a fascination with how the human body worked since he could basically rip it apart and put it back together

-He started reading about how all that stuff works, how people naturally heal and everything to do with medicine, and eventually just decided to take classes on it in school, where he got even more passionate about it

-He didn’t exactly miss a lot of school during canon and the time he spent in the hospital after the fight really showed him how all that stuff worked up close

-He watched a lot of people struggle while he was there and realized there was a lot of good he could probably do in the world with his ability

-Studying for a job like that is pretty difficult, but y’all know Jotaro had to take a fair share of the sciences before he specialized in sea life and the two of them bonding while helping Josuke study makes me HAPPY

-Also,,,I don’t know if it's ever specified in the show if Josuke was prominently academically intelligent or not, but I think if he’s passionate enough about learning that kind of stuff he’d be able to do it regardless :)))

-The SPW recruited him for a medical position once he graduated and slowly integrated him into a job at the hospital where he was able to treat non-stand emergencies (although his stand was usually unknown by his co-workers)

-I like to think that Josuke actually met a few stand users while transferring from hospital to hospital who all had some kind of healing ability

-Like once in awhile Josuke would be doing his rounds and a fucking red ghost pops out of one of the other doctors to help stop blood loss and Josuke’s like “WAIT YOU HAVE ONE TOO??” and the doctor is like “YOU CAN SEE IT??” and it's like that Spiderman meme where they’re all pointing at each other like :D

-Stands that replenish fluid or protein? Stands that can stop/speed up clotting or create more blood? Stands that can heal the sick or act like magical painkillers? Stands that control levels like oxygen and co2? They exist and they all gravitated towards this job for a reason and Josuke is amazed

-Some of them were just born with this strange power that made them want to use it for good while others explained that this ghost-like figure just APPEARED one day during work

-Josuke’s favourite doctor friend is a surgeon and during a really fatal emergency surgery her stand just materialized out of nowhere and did some crazy shit like reverse organ failure and now everyone thinks she’s a miracle worker when in reality a beefy pink woman follows her around everywhere and aggressively yells shit like “YOU GET A NEW LIVER” that only she can hear

-Of course he introduces all these guys to Tonio because he thinks Tonio’s mind would be blown BUT IT TURNS OUT TONIO IS WELL-KNOWN IN THE COMMUNITY FROM VOLUNTEERING IN HOSPITAL KITCHENS AROUND THE FUCKING COUNTRY???

-Lets just say there’s this small inner-circle of stand users working in medicine somehow completely under the SPW’s radar and Jotaro was surprised to hear about all the healers that turned out to be doctors and nurses

-Josuke ends up being known as a walking good luck charm where he works because people seem to magically get better when they’re around him and the paramedics start bringing him with them to gruesome scenes where—you guessed it—he’s even more helpful

-He’ll just pop over to the injured at the scene and be like “oh wow they’re all magically not injured at all haha how lucky” and all the other paramedics just stand there like :0

-When Rohan once realized his interview was on the second page of a magazine because DR. FUCKING HIGASHIKATA was on the front cover instead he was LIVID

-Anyone in and out of the hospital can easily tell who he is because of his stupid hair and white lab coat (that he’s started growing accustomed to wearing even outside of work...uh oh...)

-He teases Jotaro so much about his PhD and whenever he introduces him and Joot to people he always refers to himself as “the real doctor” and Jotaro can’t even say anything because he got his PhD because of a fucking starfish

-Also family reunions are really fucking funny because if Josuke just put on a hat he may as well be Jotaro and the two just stare at each other like “...” when they both realize they wore white again that day out of habit

-Dolphin-shaped coat pins? A giant golden protractor on his coat? No. Josuke still has those fucking peace signs and heart pins and YES he sticks them on his coat >:)

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Side note but I think Jotaro gave Koichi a small portion of the SPW since Joseph can’t really run it anymore and Josuke seemed pretty uninterested rip Jolyne)

Also Tonio definitely took Okuyasu under his wing while Josuke was doing all this shit and he definitely went to culinary school thanks to Tonio and became a chef :)

Also YES Josuke comes over all the time no matter where he is and Okuyasu makes dinner for him and Josuke heals all the cuts on Okuyasu’s hands from when he was a dummy and hurt himself cutting vegetables :3

[danceworshipper]

Oliver Adams - HPHM Profile [redone]

(information is as of sixth year - shared universe with @ask-hphm-crew)

Identity

Name: Oliver Tyler Adams

Gender: Male (cis)

Age: 16

Birthday: May 28th, 1973 (gemini)

Species: Human/wizard

Blood Status: Halfblood

Sexuality: Pansexual

Alignment: Neutral Good

Residence: The family farm in the Irish countryside. It's huge, a bit outdated decoration-wise, and homey. His room is on the third floor, looking out over the field and he can see the sunrise if he wakes up early enough. The farm is so old and imbued with magic that Oliver can use underage magic without the Ministry finding out

Personality Type: ESFJ-A (the consul)

Magic

Wand: 13 3/4 inches of pliant pine wood encasing a phoenix feather core. The wand is thick and heavy, light in color, and with no defining marks other than Oliver's name carved into it with a knife. Doing this did not damage the wand in any way, but when Ollivander saw it he nearly had a heart attack.

Animagus: A mixed breed cat, Siamese/Ragdoll, similar to the stray cats that lounge around the farm

Misc. Magical Abilities: Legilimency and Occlumency, though he doesn't practice them often

Boggart Form: In earlier years, it was a werewolf, since one could be heard howling somewhere near the farm during full moons. As he got older and met actual werewolves like Chiara, Oliver lost his fear of them and his boggart changed to a mortally wounded vision of himself, having failed to save anyone from the vaults and meeting his own painful end

Riddikulus Form: The vision of himself is instead only afflicted with a concussion, with his Quidditch team mothering him as he insists he's fine

Amortentia (what do they smell like?): Oliver would smell like roast chicken, fresh tomatoes, and bright sunshine

Amortentia (what do they smell?): At the current point, Oliver smells the ocean, cat fur, and wood polish. As he has no strong romantic interest (though that may change very soon) the smells just make him happy and aren't related to any specific person

Patronus: Dolphin

Patronus Memory: His first time seeing the ocean. Nothing went wrong that day, and he got to see dolphins for the first time too. He and his family all had a great time together.

Mirror of Erised: His mother and grandparents standing proudly behind him. It's his graduation day, not an injury to him. Everything turned out okay

Specialized/Favorite Spells:

- Reficere Aspectu - temporarily repairs his vision. The spell he uses for Quidditch matches.

- Lumos, Aguamenti, Wingardium Leviosa - extremely useful spells for around the farm

- Arania Exumi - spider repellent is always useful

- Orchideous - he conjures flowers for his mother and grandmother all the time

- Reparo - the first Transfiguration spell he got on the first try

Appearance

[concept image made using the zepeto app]

Height: 6'3

Weight: 191 lbs

Physique: Skinny with noticeable muscles from all the Quidditch and farming

Eye Color: Light, slightly greyish blue

Hair Color: Dirty blonde, usually kept in a bowl cut that his mother gives him. Oliver knows it's not fashionable (Andre is constantly nagging him to change it) but he doesn't really care enough to learn hair charms

Skin Tone: Light, no freckles. He burns easily so when he comes back at the start of every year he's a bit pink

Body Modifications: His eyesight is atrocious. He wears round glasses most of the time and uses a temporary vision charm for Quidditch

Scarring: Oliver has a nasty scar on his back from being kicked by a cow as a kid, and some scratches on his arms and legs from the various animals and work around the farm

Fashion: This kid has no fashion. Andre is in hell. Oliver wears shorts whenever he can and t-shirts. If it's cold he'll add a flannel. Around sixth year he starts updating his wardrobe a bit, but keeps his usual clothing for around the farm. No point having decent clothing get all dirty and ripped up

Hogwarts

House: Gryffindor

Class Grades:

- Astronomy: E

- Care of Magical Creatures: E

- Charms: A

- Defense Against the Dark Arts: E

- Divination: E

- Flying: O

- Herbology: O

- History of Magic: A

- Potions: A

- Transfiguration: A

Quidditch: Keeper since year 3

Extracurriculars: Dragon Club, Gobstones Club

Favorite Professor: Professor McGonagall. She's his head of house, and she reminds Oliver a bit of his grandmother with her stern but kind nature. She encourages his love of Transfiguration, even if he isn't the best at it, and she's a huge Quidditch fan

Least Favorite Professor: Professor Dumbledore. Oliver is an easygoing, agreeable guy most of the time. He respects his elders as his grandparents taught him, but only when they deserve it. Dumbledore most certainly does not

Relationships

Mother: Katie Adams

- Katie is a shy, quiet woman. She was homeschooled for most of her life, receiving at-home tutoring in her later years as her mother Gertrude was unable to properly teach her what she needed to know, and she's only seen the inside of Hogwarts twice: when she sat in for her O.W.L.s and her N.E.W.T.s.

- As a mother, Katie made sure to raise Oliver to be kind and always drink his Respect Women Juice. She had him take on some of the farm duties at a young age to help teach him responsibility

- Oliver got kicked by a cow when she turned her back on him for no more than ten seconds. Katie's boggart is what would have happened had Oliver been standing slightly closer - he would have been paralyzed, as the kick would have hit his neck

Father: Kyle Donovan

- Oliver never knew him. He was a muggle who left Katie shortly after she became pregnant

- He was a decent guy in general, but the idea of being a father at the age of 24 scared him and he ran like a coward. He never knew about the Wizarding world, and even if he wanted to return to try and make amends he'll never be able to find the family farm ever again, thanks to Marvin

Grandfather: Marvin Adams

- Marvin is a cranky, slightly old fashioned kind of guy. He cares a lot about tradition and keeps telling Oliver that one day the farm will be his, and then his kids', and then their kids'. Oliver doesn't have the strength to tell him he's not sure he wants kids at all

- Marvin loves his wife. There were many times in their relationship where it looked like the marriage was about to fall apart, but they were somehow always able to get through them - mostly by him apologizing to Gertrude

- Oliver is able to hold his own in a duel thanks to Marvin. Despite being an old crud, he's got a lot of fight in him

Grandmother: Gertrude Adams

- Gertrude was horrified that Oliver was going to grow up without a male influence, which is why Katie never moved off the family farm with him. The old woman made Oliver learn to cook and sew so that he wouldn't be a useless husband in the future

- She's the type of person who'll say that she still dreams of marrying her teenage sweetheart and moving to an island with him, but she doesn't mean it. She loves her family and her life, but she does one day want to retire on an island

- After Oliver graduates Hogwarts and takes over the farm, Gertrude will finally be able to convince Marvin that they can retire without worrying over the farm, and they'll move to a lovely beach house. Her last ten years will be spent in her own little paradise

Love Interest: Isla Lyall @sapphicsaffir

- Isla is the twin sister of Vera, one of Oliver's closest friends in Gryffindor. Isla is in Ravenclaw, so originally they didn't spend much time together. However, Oliver always found Isla cuter than Vera

- People who didn't know them well thought Oliver and Vera liked each other, but anyone who did know them knew Vera would rather die, and that Oliver preferred the red haired twin over the blonde one

- Vera is the one who keeps pushing to get them together. She told Oliver that she knows Isla likes him, but he refused to believe it. Still, she kept trying, saying that if anyone had to be her brother-in-law she'd rather it be him

- In fourth year, Ravenclaw lost a crucial match and it took them out if running for the House Cup. Isla, a chaser, was disappointed, but went to the final match to support her sister and her crush

- Gryffindor won, and in the excitement, Isla ran up to Oliver and yanked him down so she could kiss him. Oliver understandably short-circuited, while Vera yelled "Finally!"

Best Friend: Andre Egwu

- When Oliver first met Andre, they didn't like each other at all. They were on opposing Quidditch teams, after all. But their mutual friends forced them to spend more time together, and now the two are practically inseparable. It makes little sense to most people.

- They're the kind of best friends who insult the living daylights out of each other to show their love

- They went as friends to the Celestial Ball. A few people got the wrong impression, but they've never considered dating each other. They feel more like brothers than anything else

Rival: Anyone on an opposing Quidditch team. Even if the rivalry doesn't affect them off the pitch, Oliver's instinctive reaction when he sees his opponents is one of distaste (ironic since both his best friend and his girlfriend are his rivals)

Enemy: Every last member of R

Dormmates:

- Charlie Weasley

- Ben Copper

- Jae Kim

Pets: a barn owl named Priscilla, and a sheepdog who stays at the farm named Sparky

Closest Canon Friends:

- Charlie Weasley

- Nymphadora Tonks

- Diego Caplan

Closest Noncanon Friends:

- Vera Lyall @sapphicsaffir

- The gang from @ask-hphm-crew

- Unnamed members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team

Storyline

- Oliver was raised a happy, carefree little boy. His incident with the cow never deterred him from helping his mum and grandparents around the farm, and he even gave the cow an "I'm sorry I provoked you" treat as soon as he could. He didn't ask about his father until he was ten, and Gertrude sat him down and told him what happened. Oliver resents the man that fled his mother. Gertrude knew he'd be angry and didn't tell him his father's name

- During his first couple years at Hogwarts, Oliver made friends and charmed his way into most of the professors' good graces. In year three Oliver joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and after his first match against Ravenclaw, he and Andre started butting heads until their other friends forced them to hang out more

- Oliver gets involved with the Cursed Vaults almost by accident. He has no cursed brother like the game says, but he does have a desire to help people, so when he hears of a group of students trying to save the school from certain doom, he gets involved right away

- His discovered Legilimency throws him for a loop, as no one in his family has that power. He rarely ever uses his mind reading without permission, but when it becomes necessary he's usually able to do it without the target finding out

- After Hogwarts, Oliver will take ownership of the family farm for a few years, but it's not his passion and he hates the idea of being stuck there for the rest of his life. At age twenty two he sells the farm to one of the farmhands with three young kids and uses the money to buy a bakery with an apartment above it. He grows some of his own ingredients and buys the rest at discount from the old farm, and also runs guitar lessons out of his apartment. His grandparents are a little disappointed, but they understand, and his mother reveals that she had a secret boyfriend who she moves in with and later marries. He's a nice man with a kid a little older than Oliver

- Oliver and Isla have a small wedding a little before the Battle of Hogwarts. A few years later, Isla gives birth to twin girls Kenzie and Kleio. Five years after that, their son Caspian is born

Extra Info

- Oliver is a family man through and through. If he had to, he would have stayed on the farm forever to support his family. When he has his own family, he's an extremely devoted father even though he was never sure he wanted children when he was younger

- Despite not moving on to play Quidditch professionally, Oliver does join a recreational team after he sells the farm, as does Andre, who starts up his own fashion line

- Oliver is a total house husband. Isla is a cursebreaker, and Oliver brags about her to whoever will listen. She often comes home to a fresh cooked meal/baked goods

- Oliver's a cat person. He adopts two stray kittens when he moves to the bakery and loves them with all his heart

- He can't be alone for more than a few days or he'll go crazy. He loves spending time with his friends or even meeting new people

- He starts playing the guitar at the age of seven. Marvin is the one to teach him. Later on he learns about the muggle electric guitar and buys one as soon as he can figure out how to get electricity into his apartment

- Oliver visits his grandparents at their beach house at least five times a year. He can't get enough of the ocean, even when it's too cold to go swimming (and he'll usually do it anyway)

- He's the tallest one in his immediate family. Oliver assumes he got his height from his father, but he actually got the height from Gertrude's side of the family

- Oliver will always prefer to cook himself than to go to a restaurant

- He's a fairly good dueler, but Diego could always kick his ass

- Oliver will try to arrange a big meetup with all of his friends at least once a year. Not everyone can make it every time, but he refuses to let their friendships fade into the past

- He loses the bowl cut in year seven, when Andre convinces Tonks and Diego to hold him down so Andre can fix his hair. Oliver ends up liking it and keeps it that way for years to come

[rookie-ramsey]

Baby Blues, Chapter 14 (Bryce X MC)

Description: Bryce and MC can handle just about anything. Hopefully, pregnancy and parenting fall into the “just about anything” category.

Preview: Jackie snorted. “Uh… yeah. You’re gonna turn heads regardless of what you wear. Bryce’s jaw is gonna be on the floor no matter what.”

“Isn’t he shopping today, too?” Sienna helped Emily tie the dress’s sash into a bow behind her back.

“Yeah. He recruited his groomsmen and they’re at a shop somewhere. I don’t know if they’re still there.”

Keiki nodded.  “Probably. He sent me an SOS a few minutes ago because he thought he lost one of his groomsmen in the store.”

Previous Chapter

In the following days, they made sure to pay attention to their surroundings. Bryce didn’t trust his parents not to snoop around, and he was determined to keep ties cut with them. He saw to it that they knew he would seek legal action if they showed up at his door or tried to investigate them, which was enough to make them board the next flight back to Hawaii.

They tried to call and text, but their attempts ceased as Bryce refused to answer. Within a few weeks, it was as if they’d faded from his existence once again. He turned his focus to helping Emily plan their wedding and taking care of Ava.

One saturday afternoon a few weeks after sending Bryce’s parents away, Emily walked into the living room with Ava, who had just woken from her nap. “Hey, Keiki, do you want to go to the mall? We can do some shopping and grab something to eat.”

The teen nodded. “Sure.”

Bryce arched a brow, curious. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

“It’s a girl’s outing. Just the three of us.” Emily slipped a sweater and a pair of socks onto Ava and grabbed the diaper bag and the car keys.

Feigning hurt, Bryce kissed her goodbye before she left. Emily led the way to the car and strapped Ava into her carseat before she left their apartment building’s parking lot. She drove to the mall, where she and Keiki made a beeline for a pizza place that they loved.

When they sat at their table, Emily settled Ava in a high chair. The five-month-old huffed in annoyance, wiggling against her restraints for a moment before giving up.

“So, there’s something I want to ask you,” Emily announced after a bite of pizza.

Curious, Keiki glanced at her. “What is it?”

“Do you want to be a bridesmaid?”

The teen’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. You’re Bryce’s sister. That makes you my family.” Emily nodded, reaching over to take a dirty napkin from Ava.

“Of course I wanna do it.” Keiki smiled. “I remember when I first moved here almost two years ago and you and Bryce were still trying to act like you were ‘just friends’. It was embarrassingly obvious how bad you two had it for each other.”

“I deny nothing.”

“I know I like teasing my brother, but the whole deal got me a cool sister-in-law and the world’s cutest niece.”

“You’re right on both accounts.” Emily grinned as Keiki reached over and tickled Ava’s foot. Ava squealed with giggles, kicking her feet.

“Do you think you’ll be able to have Ava be in the wedding?”

“If she’s walking, maybe. I’d love to see her as a flower girl even if she’s not steady by then. I mean, she won’t remember it, and she’ll probably just dump all the flowers out in one spot and put the basket on her head, but it’s the cuteness that counts.

“She’ll be adorable.”

After lunch, Emily loaded Ava back into her shoulder. They spent the next two hours browsing store after store, loading the compartment under Ava’s stroller with merchandise.

Their last stop was the children’s store, where Emily could never resist buying things she knew Ava would just outgrow.

“Didn’t you pick lavender for your wedding colors?” Keiki held up a tiny lavender dress with a fluffy skirt. “Cause this would look really cute on Ava.”

Emily gasped. “It’s perfect. And she’ll grow into it by February.”

She took the dress and showed it to Ava, who looked at it with mild interest, her eyes drawn to the large bow attached to it.

“Look here. You’ll wear this to the wedding. It may end up covered in baby food and poop, but no judgment here.” Emily added the dress to her growing pile of purchases.

Once they couldn’t carry any more stuff, they went home. The next morning, Emily tracked down Sienna at work, unable to resist grinning ear to ear when she found her in the lounge.

“Hey, Em!”

“I have something really important to talk to you about.” Emily rocked back and forth on her feet, her hands concealed behind her back.

Sienna chuckled at the mischievous glint in her friend’s eye. “What is it?”

With a flourish, Emily revealed a ring box. She knelt down, opening the box with a flourish. Sienna’s hands flew to her mouth to contain a laugh at the sight of a pinky ring with a dolphin charm.

“Sienna Trinh, my best friend, would you be not only my bridesmaid, but also my maid of honor?”

Giggling, Sienna accepted the ring and slid it onto her finger. When Emily stood up, she gave her  a tight hug. “Of course!”

“Good, cause that was really dorky of me and I’d be really embarrassed if it didn’t work.” Emily grinned and returned her hug. “We’ll go shopping next weekend.”

XXXXXX

As scheduled, Emily met her friends a week later for a day of dress shopping. Her heart swelled with excitement as she led the way into the bridal shop.

Her eyes widened as she took in the dresses that lined every wall. “Wow…”

“Do you know what kind you want?” Sienna asked.

“Nope.” Emily shook her head. “I was up until two looking at dresses, but my wish list just kept getting longer. I decided I’d just try on everything I like and go with what feels right.”

She wandered through the aisles, picking up dresses and draping them over her arm. Within minutes, she could barely carry her selections.  Her friends followed her to the changing area, where she dumped the armload of dresses into an empty stall.

“You guys have to judge every one of them honestly!” she called out, toeing off her shoes and picking up the first dress. It was long-sleeved and covered in dainty lace, which gave her some sense of alarm as she stepped into it.  “I need a dressing room helper.”

“On it!” Sienna joined her in the fitting room and fastened buttons running down the back of the dress. Emily stepped out of the stall to show everyone.

“This one’s kinda itchy,” she admitted, tugging at the sleeves.

“What else do you have?”

Ducking back into the stall, Emily peeled off the itchy dress and grabbed the next one. She stepped into it and let Sienna help her with the buttons. “These sleeves are way puffier than I thought they would be,” she announced as she emerged. “I thought they’d look cute, but it looks like I’m wearing watermelons for shoulder pads.”

“I won’t argue with you there,” Jackie agreed.  “You look like a quarterback in a dress.”

“Well, that may be a good thing if a rowdy game breaks out in the middle of my wedding.”

Squeezing the comically oversized sleeves through the door, she discarded that dress. She stepped into the next one, tangling her feet in its long train. She gave herself a once-over in the mirror before emerging.

“I actually like this one.” She smoothed a hand over the silky material and fluffed the long skirt.

“It looks great on you, but don’t you think the train is a little long for you?” Aurora gestured to the fabric gathered around Emily’s feet.

Emily arched a brow. “What do you mean?” She tried to twirl around, only to entange her feet in the fabric and lose her balance. She lurched forward, almost face planting into the door of the changing stall.

“That’s what I mean.”

“Okay, so I’m a little bit accident prone. I can learn how to not trip over stuff by February!” Emily gathered the train into her arms and lifted it. It caught beneath her foot, making a ripping sound that made her stomach drop.

Sienna’s eyes widened. “Did you just…?”

“It’s not bad!” Emily’s eyes searched the material, examining the damage. “For all we know, that was there! I just made it worse.” She removed the dress off and cast it aside, refusing to look at the price tag.

A saleswoman gave her a sharp frown. “Expect a bill for that repair.”

“...Okay.” Cringing, Emily dug through her pile of dresses until one stood out to her. She slipped into it and studied herself in the mirror, admiring the way the little beads and embroidery caught the light.

Smiling, she stepped out to show everyone. “This is my favorite so far.” She twirled, relieved when the skirt fluttered around her ankles without tripping her, or worse, ripping.

“It looks beautiful.” Sienna grinned. “It’s super pretty.”

“It really is. That one’s my favorite,” Keiki agreed.

Emily smoothed a hand over her stomach, her lips pursing in thought. “The only problem is it shows what’s left of my pregnancy fat. I can’t get rid of it.”

Kyra frowned sharply at her. “Hey, if I can be a bridesmaid with my peach fuzz head, you can wear that dress.”

“You think?”

Jackie snorted. “Uh… yeah. You’re gonna turn heads regardless of what you wear. Bryce’s jaw is gonna be on the floor no matter what.”

“Isn’t he shopping today, too?” Sienna helped Emily tie the dress’s sash into a bow behind her back.

“Yeah. He recruited his groomsmen and they’re at a shop somewhere. I don’t know if they’re still there.”

Keiki nodded.  “Probably. He sent me an SOS a few minutes ago because he thought he lost one of his groomsmen in the store.”

“I don’t think I wanna know.” Amused, Emily returned her attention to the mirror. “It’s in my budget. I think I just hit the jackpot. Why don’t you guys start looking at bridesmaid dresses?”

As her group dispersed to pick out their dresses, she couldn’t resist admiring herself in the mirror a little longer. A wide grin took over her face as she carefully took the dress off and draped it over her arm.

This was really happening.

Note:  I think this story is going to have about 3-5 more chapters. Next up is Bryce’s day of suit shopping with the boys!

Next chapter

Tags: @elephant9998 / @mvalentine / @fortunatelywaywardsandwich / @whatchique / @achalantspitfire / @lahellacute / @virtuallytakenby / @oofchoices / @dang-lahela / @misswhit12 / @drakeismyweakness / @sitsoncornflake / @a-tragical-tale / @bitchloveskcbaseball / @laceandlula / @paulfwesley / @bloomingsivan / @anotherbeingsworld / @vamped99 / @malvolari-take-my-soul / @doctorsurferbro / @loveellamae / @drethanfreakingramsey / @trappedinfandoms / @elladines / @macy-ray85 / @mrsdrlahela / @lucy-268 / @swimmingauthordreamerbonk / @drakewalker04  / @crystalchrysalis19

[papi-imagines]

Drowning - Merman!Jooheon X Marine Biologist!Reader: Part 1

Character: Monsta X Merman!Jooheon X Marine Biologist!Reader

Word Count: 1379

Genre: Horror-ish Thriller Mystery

Synopsis: There are many legends surrounding your island village along with the dark water of its shores. When multiple local fishermen go missing, you cannot help but find the circumstances a little… fishy. As a marine biologist who studies the sea on the regular and knows the island like the back of your hand, you make it your mission to find out what happened to these men and why. You soon find out that you really don’t know as much about the mysterious waters as you thought you did, and the secrets of your town soon become deeper than the deep blue of the lagoon. Little do you know that you’ll soon be drowning in more ways than one.

WARNINGS: Mentions of drowning, almost drowning, light cursing, and murder

________________________________________________________________

  You’ve never been the type of person to buy the local newspaper. Not only is it a terribly slow and antiquated system (you have the Internet after all), but you normally disapprove of the waste of precious paper. However, all personal beliefs aside, you soon find yourself at the local mom & pop book shop purchasing every edition of Mohae Times from the most resent installment to last summer. Johnny, your best friend who also happens to be the 3rd generation Suh kid to run the Wormhole Book Nook, gives you a questioning glance from behind the counter as you struggle to hold the huge pile of flimsy articles you just spent $120 on.

“You know there are copies of all those on the newspaper website, right?” He states while walking behind you to make sure you don’t fall as you go outside to load the newspapers onto your bike.

“For the millionth time, of course I do, Suh, and I really could live without your incessant judgement,” you frustratingly respond to his mansplaining as you plop the rolled up papers into your bike basket and begin to tie them down.

“I wouldn’t judge you if you didn’t do the most random shit like buying outdated newspapers for a link board on a missing fishermen case that you are completely unqualified to even be investigating.”

You turn around aggressively and look intently into the eyes of the man who is towering over you.

“Suh, we’ve been best friends since the womb and probably will be to the tomb, so you should start getting used to my antics and learn not to question my credibility or skills. I’ve grown up here and I’m next in line to be the owner of the Mohae Marine Life Museum and Sanctuary. I graduated valedictorian from Mohae High School and am in the process of receiving my master’s in marine biology from the prestigious and exclusive Mohae Marine University. If anyone is qualified to uncover what happened to those men, it’s me.”

Without giving the male a chance to respond, you flip your hair as you turn to mount your bike. Securing your seashell painted helmet to your head, you give your best friend an ultimatum.

“I will solve this mystery by the end of this summer, and you will either have the most interesting summer of your life with me or spend each day bored to death in the Wormhole without me, your choice.”

You then speed away on your bike and leave the main town and your best friend behind you. As you peddle along the rocky road of the coastline toward the docks, you can’t help but gaze curiously into the dark waves crashing beyond the shoreline. Ever since you could remember, there has always been something about the mysterious waters surrounding your island town that has entranced you. Maybe it was the local legends of your native ancestors being in contact with mythical marine creatures that ignited your desire to engulf yourself in the engagements of the sea, or maybe it was that intense feeling of yearning you felt when you were away from the water along with the surreal sensation of belonging whenever you came back to the beach. Regardless of whatever this was and wherever it came from, you could not deny that there was a part of you that was undeniably and utterly devoted to the ocean.

As you lock your bike onto the post next to the main office of the Mohae Marine Life Museum and Sanctuary, the familiar sense of home comes washing over you like the waves under the pier. You loved your job of being the apprentice to the owner and soul caregiver of the sanctuary, who everyone calls “Rain,” and you are beyond honored to one day follow in his footsteps. After quickly checking in and dropping the newspapers off in your office, you urgently put on your wetsuit and review your chores for the day. You smile as you read the three words on your planner.

“Play with Mingi”

With excitement you rush to the sanctuary where you and your fellow biologists nurse rescued marine animals back to health. This was your favorite part of your job, as you always feel a natural, almost supernatural, connection to these majestic creatures, and all of them seem to trust and adore only you.

Including Mingi, a great white shark.

At first Rain was extremely apprehensive of you taking on being the main caregiver of the massive killer fish, but with your annoying begging and scheming, he soon caved to your wishes. And by scheming, you mean swimming in Mingi’s tank with no protective gear on and playing with him while the rest of the staff just stared in shock. In hindsight, that was an insane move on your part, but you’re the town kooky kid; you gotta keep your image up before people start to catch on that you’re actually just too determined to get what you want that you’re willing to, literally, swim with sharks.

Of course, you always feed Mingi before you get in the tank with him; you’re crazy, not stupid. When he is finished with his high-end halibut dinner freshly fished from the fish hatchery (say that five times fast lol), you slowly lower yourself into the far end of the tank. After Mingi has had a full meal, he has the temperament of a baby dolphin. He kind of reminds you of a cat that acts like a dog; although on the outside he is a monstrous shark that could rip you apart before you could even blink, on the inside he’s a sweet cinnamon roll that just wants to be loved and babied. You couldn’t help but fall in love with him ever since you helped rescue him from a fishing net last summer. Unfortunately, he lost most of his teeth from his mouth being caught in a metal crab cage, so he cannot be reintroduced to the wild even after his external wounds heal. Even though his situation breaks your heart, you can’t help but feel glad you have Mingi. Like your unusual connection to the ocean, you have such a strong bond with Mingi that you really can’t explain, yet you can’t deny it either. Even though he’s a large carnivorous fish and you’re an eccentric, loner human, it seems as though you both understand each other on a spiritual level. He’s helped you deal with your anxiety, oddly enough, and you made a necklace out of his missing teeth to hold when you start to feel your anxiety rise again.

So as you gently rub his muzzle and play with the teeth around your neck, you start to unpack all of the thoughts clouding your mind to the massive being. You tell him about the newspapers and Johnny and how you made it your summer goal to solve the Mohae Missing Fisherman Mystery. He pushes his nose into your hand and gently nuzzles your palm as you start to feel the emotions of what exactly you are investigating start to breed panic inside you. Nine local fishermen have gone missing over the past year. No bodies, no major leads, nothing. And you, the odd ball of the town, have promised to crack the cold case in three months.

What have you gotten yourself into?

A literal and metaphorical shark tank.

Author’s Note: So I got the idea for this series from Admin M when I was fangirling over Jooheon’s blue hair and she said “he looks like a merman who drowns people for fun, but in the middle of dragging you down he’s like ‘wait, maybe not this one,” so now here we are. I also love this pic of Mingi in the shark hat so I made him a shark 😅. Also Rain has to make an appearance because we appreciate 1st gen Kpop artists here 😤. Stay tuned to see what other idols are incorporated into this mess of a story!

~Admin J🧡

July 26, 2020

[verecunda]

Books: March 2020

Realised I haven’t logged my books for March yet (I knew I’d only last a couple of months rip). tbh I only managed two books and a very short reread, but I figure they might be of interest to some people here:

Outcast - Rosemary Sutcliff

The Legions of the Mist - Amanda Cockerell (aka Damion Hunter)

Asterix in Switzerland - Goscinny & Uderzo (reread)

Outcast - Rosemary Sutcliff

Well, it’s Sutcliff, so what can I say beyond asddfghjklsa SO GOOD. Engrossing, atmospheric, emotional. It doesn’t feel quite as rich as the dolphin ring books, but it’s still a wonderful read, and most of Sutcliff’s usual themes of identity, of cultures mingling, of being on the outside, and of finding belonging and home, are very much there. I also think I can see her working towards things she would go into more deeply in other books. For instance, in the way that Beric decides during his slavery to focus on negative emotions like hate, because it hurts less than thinking of people he’s loved and lost, he feels almost like a prototype of Aquila from The Lantern Bearers.

There’s less in the way of a central friendship, but that’s sort of the nature of the beast, since as a slave and a runaway, most of Beric’s relationships with other people are brief and transient. But Sutcliff more than makes up for that by providing plenty of vivid character sketches of the people who do pass in and out of his life. I was very fond of the young Lady Lucilla, in particular, and I rather fell in love with Justinius. He’s exactly the sort of quietly sad, thoroughly competent character I can never resist! 

The book is full of excellent set-pieces - the section aboard the galley especially was gruelling, and I loved the overgrown, half-forgotten garden of the temple of Pan Sylvanus in Rome. The Italian setting is quite a departure for Sutcliff, and I had the feeling even she was quite relieved when the story shifted back to Britain, and we were back to the familiarity of changeful skies, skeins of wild geese, and the green plover calling! The final section during the storm was spectacular, and I absolutely had to hold in tears towards the end, as Beric lets his old life go and looks towards the new. (It was the dogs that did it!)

The Legions of the Mist - Amanda Cockerell (aka Damion Hunter)

I’ve been wanting to read this one for years, but couldn’t get hold of a copy till it was recently released on Kindle. Happily, it was worth the wait! A lively, absorbing adventure peopled with well-drawn and (mostly) endearing characters. The main squad in particular were all highly likeable, as were many of the secondary characters. I particularly liked the new legate and his daughter, and thought it a shame that they weren’t in it for longer. (Though the fact that she was called Lady Felicia just made me want to watch Father Brown again. XD) Without going into details, though, the fact that the novel is about the death of the Ninth Legion means that getting attached to so many of the characters was… unfortunate. >.>

The story is told from both the Roman and the British points of view, allowing for a balanced take on the history of Roman Britain, and the way cultures clashed or intermingled. I was actually less interested in the Celtic side of the story; apart from Vortrix, most of the British characters seemed to be fairly stock types, and the various tribal politics and interpersonal relationships never felt quite as well-developed as those on the Roman side.

Naturally, the book treads very similar ground to Eagle of the Ninth, and even apart from that, it’s clear that Cockerell owes quite a substantial debt to Sutcliff - so much so, in fact, that longtime Sutcliff fans could probably get a decent drinking game out of it (take one drink for for every Hilarion, Cordaella, or Justin you encounter; chug every time the Hispana’s Eagle gets a mention; drain your whole damn bottle when the little dark people (uncapitalised) appear!).

There’s also a lot of stuff about the Picts worshipping a Mother Goddess and honouring a sacrificial seven-year king, motifs which also feature heavily in Sutcliff’s work. I’m not sure how widely accepted they were as genuine archaeological theories at the times these books were written. In any case, it seems quite dated here in a way it doesn’t quite with Sutcliff (possibly because the power of Sutcliff’s work is such that it’s almost like a mythic vision of ancient Britain? I don’t know, it is a mystery).

For all the evident homages, however, this book has its own voice and is very much its own thing. It’s a most enjoyable read, and I ended up tearing through the last quarter or so in one sitting. From the moment the Ninth marches out on its final doomed expedition into the mists, Cockerell builds the tension brilliantly, to a genuinely tense and nailbiting finale - and an emotional aftermath.

Good news: it looks like there’s a sequel due to be released (reissued?) next month, so I’ll definitely be reading that. :)

Asterix in Switzerland - Goscinny & Uderzo (reread)

I was already thinking about going back through some of my Asterix books, even before I heard that Albert Uderzo had passed away. After that, I figured there couldn’t be a better reason.

This is one of the ones I read most often when I was a kid. Not sure why, since most of the jokes about Swiss bank accounts, etc., sailed right over my head. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that in this one, unusually, Asterix and Obelix are on a mission to save the life of a Roman quaestor. Apparently I’ve just always had a thing about Romans and Celts helping each other out, despite everything! I don’t know. But it’s always been one of my favourites, and it was great fun to read it again.

[rochellek1994]

Summary of 2018

It is a new year tomorrow and I would love to talk about my year as whole and goodness me, what a year it was for me! Obviously it had ups and downs but there was something quite special about this year as a whole.

I will admit, the start of 2018 was a bit rocky with me having some really bad months with little to no motivation, some intense miserable moments as well. A big one for me though was the unfortunate news that one my uncles (Neil) passed away very suddenly in late March and it struck a lot of us in the family. As many people say, they may be gone but they will never be forgotten. (There was something minor that did help me through those months however, I will be covering that in another paragraph as this turned out to be a big and positive thing for me this year)

Skipping forward now to the positives/highlights. June finally came along and I specifically remember it being the end of Suffolk Day when I started really saying to myself "Nah, I've had enough of myself like this. I want to go out and do something instead of sitting here and getting gradually more miserable." (if anyone isn't aware, I do have some motivation issues and whatnot)

Note: Even though June was the start to something positive with Suffolk Day, there was something someone in my family did on Suffolk Day that was shockingly awful. I won't go into too much detail (the rest of the details are on my Twitter somewhere) but I was severely lied to and manipulated on that day, that is all I'll be saying there.

So, onto the good stuff! What I first started working on first was my sleep schedule (unfortunately, the schedule isn't exactly 100% but if I still fight and work towards a good sleep schedule, then it most likely will be) and it has worked wonders and has been very helpful for a lot of things which I will mention in the coming paragraphs.

During June this year I really started to pay more attention to my local radio station despite being a listener for many years, that radio station is called BBC Radio Suffolk. It might have just been one of the greatest things to do to see what I could do and it turns out that paying more attention to the amazing shows that are broadcast on the station had worked wonders and in fact, BBC Suffolk gets my massive credit for helping me meet so many new people such as presenters, show producers, other local listeners (most notably an amazing man called Neil and that will be covered in the one of the paragraphs).

Public events: Late June was the start of me wanting to attend local events and I did just that!

The start of it all was the Music By The Sea event on the 30th of June. If I remember correctly as well, it was hosted/compared by Stephen Foster from BBC Radio Suffolk the whole time and the whole event was brilliant! If it is on again in 2019 then I will definitely think about going back.

Then July 1st came along and I think this was the biggest music event I had attended in 2018 and that was the Ipswich Music Day in Christchurch Park. About 40,000 people were estimated to have attended that as a whole. My biggest highlight of the day had to be watching a local band called Reno & Rome perform for the first time ever. Something I had wanted to do for a while. Only downside of the day however, was a family member's behaviour that day. Not going to lie, it really shocked me with how rude and childish she was being throughout the day.

July 27th and July 28th then was the day of Sax Fest and that was an amazing concert, unfortunately Reno & Rome (who I mentioned earlier for Ipswich Music Day) had got their headlining set cancelled last minute when a ferocious thunderstorm came along and almost ripped the stage apart with high winds etc. I do need to say that the only downside I experienced at Sax Fest was on day 2. Many of you know that I have a form of autism and I can tell you guys right now, I may have felt the worst build up of a meltdown ever. I am so thankful however, that I didn't explode altogether as I was fighting to keep it away. That was a scary one for me, especially when it was with me for hours.

Then we come to an event called The Nearly Festival on the 30th of July and the weather completely changed, it was raining the whole time. Despite that, the event was lovely with some great performances. I will admit, I had a very embarrassing moment when an Oasis tribute band were performing but I won't go into too much detail on that one. lol

Then, 24th of August to 26th of August was my 2nd year of the Maui Waui festival! Just like last year, it was a great event. Only downside I had however, I did feel like I was a bit boring this year as I had some insane exhaustion/tiredness issues during the festival. A highlight however? Seeing my crazy mother dressed as an inflatable dinosaur on the Saturday. lol

2nd of September was the One Big Multicultural Event in Ipswich and it was AWESOME! To see so many people of different backgrounds to band together for this festival was truly an amazing sight to see. The performances, food, drink etc. was incredible. If it is on again next year, I will try to think about going back.

The 23rd of September, I attended a much different event than usual and it was a dog show called Companion Dog Day that was organised by a wonderful lady called Shirley and it was held at Jimmy's Farm in Wherstead, just on the outskirts of Ipswich. It was a nice day despite the horrid weather.

November the 1st was the night of Stephen Foster's Secret Gig which was a BBC Radio Suffolk special gig held at Greshams in Ipswich which featured an amazing tribute band to Electric Light Orchestra called the ELO ENCOUNTER. I remember seeing these guys perform at Music By The Sea in June and they were incredible. Not only that, I highly enjoyed the quiz-off with Stephen and the BBC Radio Suffolk travel presenter, Barry Lewis.

November 16th came along and as we all know, it was Children in Need. I attended some 2 great events which were Wayne Bavin's Big Buskathon at the Cornhill in Ipswich and then Lesley Dolphin's Children in Need Afternoon Party at Wherstead Park in Wherstead.

Finally for public events, the 7th of December and the 8th of December I attended some Christmas light switch-ons and both events were absolutely lovely!

Now this part will be about a man (that I mentioned on the BBC Radio Suffolk paragraph) called Neil (this one is not my uncle by the way) because on most Thursdays from 11AM to about 1PMish/2PMish, he runs these community respite walks with friends in Felixstowe and the best part is, anyone can attend! I started attending in July this year with my mum and this is by far my most favourite walking event I have ever taken part in. We do have to get up early to catch the bus at around 7.20AMish and then the train just a little bit after 8AM and then another train just after 9AM but the walks in Felixstowe are seriously worth it for the journey I have to take.

BBC Look East on the 6th of September (aired 7th of September): Along with Neil who organised this... Myself, my mum and a couple of others took part in a community litter pick at Felixstowe and we were being filmed by BBC Look East. Highlight had to be seeing my crazy mother dressed as an inflatable dinosaur again. lol (Unfortunately, as far as I'm aware, the episode is no longer available online)

Community Music Event in my town: I started to regularly be a spectator a local community music event again in my local town but the only problem is, I'm not a performer so I don't perform there but I did somehow find my own little 'role' in the community and it is the only place I use my phone to film the songs that the community confidently sing or play regarding instruments. One example I can give is that my best friend brings her Bongos to drum at the event and my word, I cannot tell you guys enough how incredible she is at drumming. It is truly spectacular!

LEAVING THE BEST TILL LAST!

The biggest positive for me had to be my photography and my drive to go out and take photos of the countryside (even though I had been doing it since 2017), this year was even better for me photography wise. Especially when it comes to sharing them online on my Twitter, Instagram, Facebook etc. and not to mention, photography really helped me get by on my low months at the start of 2018. Also, I do have to say a huge thank you to those that have shown interest in me and my photography, I appreciate and love you all for it. I can't wait for next year to see what other photographs I can take not just for me, but for you all as well! The support that you all have given me has kept me going with this!

That is all I wanted to talk about. Overall, there were some ups and downs but despite all of that, 2018 was a very good year for me.

Happy New Year everyone!

[awakendreamersworld]

Chapter 3 is a go! Lost Runaway

It was the big day, The Defender Trials, every soldier was ready and geared up for what was about to come. All of the Murine kingdoms' people came to watch which new soldier will be the new protector of their home, all the sirens were coming inside the entrances of the Emperor Leviathans' colosseum, or as the Emperor would call it: 'Emperor Containment Facility,' and was seated in the back to watch the soldiers risk their lives to help the Emperor's children hatch and be the new defender. Maria entered the place with her mother, "Ok sweetheart, go sit by one of your friends up their on the risers, ok?" Firtha said pointing at Maria's classmates, Maria looked down in worry "Are you gonna be ok, Mama?" Maria said with worried eyes, "I'm gonna be just fine, Maria. Remember, I'm the siren that stabbed a shark through the eye." Firtha said with a wink joking with Maria. Maria went and sat by Emily who was with her dad,

"Hey Emily!" She said,

"Oh, Hey Maria!" Emily greeted back,

"Hey, guess what? My mom said I can come with you!" Maria said knowing very well what she was doing,

"Oh really? Um, ok. Just let me tell my Papa." Emily said and turned to her dad, "Hey Papa?"

"Hm?" Emily's father said, he looked middle aged, like either in his 40's or 50's, he had wrinkles on the side of his eyes and mouth, and he looked like he was tired.

"My friend, Maria, is gonna be coming with us to see Mama! Is that ok?" Emily said with a small smile.

"Did her parents agree that this is ok?" He asked

"Yes, err... at least that's what she says they said..." Emily said

"Ok, as long as you follow my rules when we cross into another kingdoms oceans, understand young lady?" Emily's father said

"Mhmm!" Maria nodded in agreement

"Hey, wait! How come SHE gets to go with you across oceans!?" Alice complained

"Uhh, because she asked permission?" Emily said

Alice looked at Maria angrily then sat back down to watch the trial.

The trials was about to begin, The Sea Emperor came in and sat by her eggs, there were 12 Murine sirens including Maria's mother standing there waiting for their orders. The Sea Emperor then announced their tasks, "You need to find various flora for my children to hatch, first you need a bulb bush sample, they're located to the Northeast beyond the mushroom forest..." She said and them all a map, "Go through these ancient portals... they'll give you all the time you need, but for us... just one minute. And remember, only a few may be accepted... some will be neglected." The Emperor said and the sirens swam ahead through the green glowing door, each one vanishing as they enter, including Maria's mom, she looked back at Maria and smiled then went through the green light and the timer began. After a few hours of the Murine soldier's to collect the necessary, some were unlucky along the trip, some ran into a Reaper Leviathan and got eaten, other's accidentally disturbed the Sea Dragon and got boiled alive in the lava pits, but the few that survived had collected what was needed: Gabe's Feather Seed, Sea Crown seed, Membrain tree seed, and a Rogue Cradle seed. Then they went to the hidden base and created some Hatching Enzymes. Once the minute was up, the Murine soldiers came back but only four survived, Firtha, Doria, Simon and another member of Maria's mom's team. The crowd cheered the brave souls' that survived the horrible and deadly trial, then it was time to hatch the eggs. The four Murines swam up to the incubator and put in the remains, after putting in the enzymes, the eggs began to hatch. The Juvenile Emperors swam up to their mother as if they were saying 'Hello and Goodbye,' then they began to swim for the green door and enter so they can come back grown up. The Sea Emperor began to tremble and fall to the ground, "My young are heading for the shallows... their beginning is my end... I thank you... Perhaps the next we meet I will be an ocean current, I will carry seeds to new lands... or a creature so small... It sees the gaps between the grains of sand... Farewell, friends." She said before laying flat on the sand and died, her body then began to decompose and wither away deep into the sand.

After a few moments, the Sea Emperor's babies come back, but they're no longer juveniles, they're fully grown up and began to sit at the very same spot their mother was just at. "Thank you, Mother." They all said in unison, "Now its time for us to choose a new defender to protect our home..." The Sea Emperors said and looked down on the four Murines. "Firtha, you've yet to have complete the trial and so have some of your companions, and for that, we chose you..." They said, "Thank you, but I'm afraid I must decline the offer, my time of protecting you all has come to an end, so therefor, I wish for my job to be replaced by my dear sister, Doria." Firtha said and handed her spear to Doria. Doria was shocked usually her sister would be taking on the job but, this was new entirely, "But, Firtha... I'm not really like you!' She said nervous about this whole arrangement, "It'll be fine! You battled sharks with me! So your totally like me!" Firtha said trying to cheer up her sister, Doria smiled and took the spear then swam up the Emperors. "Very well, Doria Spencer, we here by award you the new protector of our kingdom." They said. The crowd cheered and applauded as they began exiting the colosseum, Firtha began to look for Maria, but was nowhere to be found, "Maria? MARIA!?" She said panicking "WHERE IS MARIA!? WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER!?" she yelled to Doria who swam to her sisters side, they both began looking through the crowd for her but then Firtha got a horrible idea where exactly Maria is.

Maria was with Emily and her father swimming up to the midsurface. "Your going to love my mother, Maria! She's so kind and gentle! And has the sweetest voice ever!" Emily said excitedly, "Wow, she sounds amazing!" Maria said "Ok you two." Emily's father stopped them and in front of them was a current. "We take this to take us across ocean, its the fastest way." He said, then he grabbed their hands and began to swim inside "Hold on tight!" He told the girls when all of a sudden... "MARIA!" Maria turned around and saw her mother and her aunt swimming towards her, she quickly pushed Emily and her father into the current and it took them away quickly carrying them over to the Arctic. "How could I have been so stupid to leave her by herself!" Firtha cried "We can still go after her, did she say where she was going?" Doria said trying to help her distressed sister, "She said she's going the Dorms' kingdom to meet her friends mother, but its too cold over there, she'll freeze!" Firtha said with worry "Well, maybe we can hurry and swim after them before they get there!" Doria said. Firtha nodded and they both went into the current and began to swim a bit more quickly in order to catch up with Maria. "Ok Maria, here's how the trip goes." Emily's father said, "We have to travel to multiple ocean currents in order to get to the Arctic, so just follow my rules and we'll get there safely, understand?" Emily's father said, "Okay!" Maria said with excitement, this was her very first time in the ocean surface, she couldn't believed what she's seeing! Fish with very different and vibrant colors travelling together in a pack, other medium sized fish like the dolphins she found, it was truly amazing! This was gonna be smooth sailing! Or at least that's what she thought. Firtha was travelling a lot faster than the current itself, soon she was able to see Maria and her friend, "MARIA!" She shouted again and began to swim towards them. Maria looked down and saw something shiny swim outside the current, "Ooh! What's that?" She said and swam towards it, going outside the current. "MARIA, STOP!" Her mother shouted again, Emily and her father turned around and saw Firtha and Doria swimming up behind, Firtha began to swim after Maria who was going too close to the 'shiny' object.

Once Maria was at the 'shiny' thing, a great white battle-scared shark began to come up with its mouth open ready to chomp down on Maria. Maria looked down and saw the shark and screamed, she began to swim back to the current when her mother dove in to defend her daughters life. She dove right in between the shark and Maria and instead of sinking its teeth into Maria, it caught Firtha, Doria came down to help her sister kill the man-eating beast as it was swaying Firtha side to side to rip her apart, but then Firtha brought her spear down into its head and the shark let go of her in pain as it was trying to get the spear out of its head. "FIRTHA!" Doria shouted and swam up to her, "MAMA!" Maria joined in and swam towards her. "M-Maria? Are you okay? I told you not to do this- AAH!" She said in pain, losing too much blood "Firtha, don't speak! I'm gonna try and heal you!" Doria said and put her hands on her sisters wounds and began to use her powers to hopefully 'heal' her sister, "Mama, I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen! I just wanted to see more of the ocean and-" "No, Maria... Its my fault... I kept you hidden from what you needed to learn, from what you wanted see... There is more to the ocean than what we know... you wanted see that, but I kept you from it." Firtha said starting to lose her breathe, "No, Mama, I-" Maria cried "Shh, its okay... your already up here close to the surface so... heh..." Firtha said while putting her hand on Maria's cheek. "Maria... Your growing up into a brave, adventurous, beautiful young girl... and your right, we can't just stay down there all of our lives..." Firtha said while looking up towards the surface "We need to explore more, discover... and learn, otherwise... how are we prepared?" She said and kissed Maria's head, "I want to you to be free, to explore more of what's out there, like what we were supposed to do instead of hiding... and be careful...!" Firtha said laughing a little bit. "Mama... Please don't go... I'm sorry, I promise I'll fix this!" Maria said trying to hold back her tears of bubbles. "Ah, Mio Caro... it'll be okay... if you want to 'fix this'... then go on out there and discover... you don't have to stay stuck at the bottom of the ocean anymore..." She said giving Maria one last kiss and hug before finally letting go of her life and passing away. Maria held her mother's corpse crying, Doria was trying to comfort her,

"Shh, its ok Maria" Doria said putting her hand on Maria's back

"No! Its all my fault!" Maria said crying

"No its not, its OUR fault, we didn't let you go and now..." Doria said looking at her sisters corpse

"C'mon... lets go bury her body so she'll be in peace..." Doria said picking up and carrying Firtha's body and swimming back down

"Maria?" She said before looking up behind to see that Maria was swimming away

"MARIA! WAIT!" She yelled

"Maria...!" Emily shouted, but her friend ignored her and continued to swim away further up the current and going above sea level.

Back at the Murine Kingdom, Doria hosted a memorial for her deceased sister as the soldier Murines wrapped her body in seaweed and carried her corpse to a bottomless pit, it was a giant gap that separated their home from the other side, which you couldn't see, and there were tombstone rocks all around the edge. The soldiers went to the edge and dump Firtha's body into the abyss, everyone held their heads down in a moment of silence for Firtha in respect. After the funeral, Doria went and grabbed some extra weapons and armor so she could go and find Maria when all of a sudden, Simon caught her, "Hey, what are you doing?" He asked "I have to find my niece, she's out there somewhere, she thinks this is her fault, its not, but-" Doria stuttered, Simon put his hand on Doria's shoulder, "Hey, its ok..." He said with a small smile. Doria sighed, "I have to go find her before she ends up like her mother. I need you to stay and defend the kingdom with everything you've got, ok?" She said giving Simon the spear and leaving up to the ocean's Mesopelagic zone, where she last saw Maria.

"Emily? What are you doing? What's all of this?" Emily's mother asked, she was entering her daughter's room, it was covered with gold curtains surrounding her bed and the walls were made of seashells and the ground was made of clams , her mother's scales were golden and her hair a bright blonde along with sapphire blue pierced oval eyes, curvy cheeks and a small pointed nose,

"Mom I-I have to find my friend, she could be in danger, or hurt! I'm supposed to be her friend... I can't leave her to her own guilt! I wasn't there to help her mother so..." Emily said with tears beginning to form from her eyes.

Emily's mother swam up by her side and placed her hand on her back and asked, "What does your friend look like?"

Emily pulled out a school photo of them on the first day and pointed to where Maria was, "Here, this is what she looks like..." Emily said to her mother.

Her mom then swam outside to her fellow Dorm sirens holding up the picture, "Mom? What are you doing?" Emily asked "Helping you find your friend." She said with a smile. Emily swam up to her mom and hugged her, "Tell Papa that I'm going to the surface to look for Maria, ok?" Emily said "Ok dear, be careful!" Her mother said and Emily began to swim out of the kingdom towards the current so she could travel faster. And the search for Maria began.

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2

[hookedonapirate]

Wild at Heart (Chapter 6/?)

Read: Prologue Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5

Graphic Art credit to the lovely and wonderful @jell-obeans Thank you so much!

Summary: Born and raised by rich parents, Emma Nolan has always done what’s expected of her, from what clothes to wear to what school to attend, what career to pursue and even who to marry. After graduating from Harvard and going back home to Storybrooke, South Carolina, she agrees to marry Oz Walsh by the wishes of her parents. With a year of engagement behind her, she goes to Boston for business and has to fly back home to get to her wedding. What happens when she has a run-in at the airport with a dashing, blue-eyed thief who is apparently bound and determined to throw a wrench in all of her plans? Will she make it back to Storybrooke on time for her wedding or will she find her home along the way?

Rating: M

AO3 FFN

A/N: I apologize for the slow updates and short chapters, and I thank you all for your patience! This one is a bit longer and includes some Neverland goodness. Hope you enjoy!

Emma woke up the next morning, surrounded by impossible warmth and blissful comfort. She found it very difficult to move, other than to tighten her hold and bring the warmth closer to her.

 It wasn't long before she realized that her right arm and leg were wrapped around something - or rather someone - and her face was buried in the crook of his neck. Her eyes flew open and she peered up, seeing Killian sleeping peacefully, seeing his chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm and seeing that her hand was clutching so tightly onto his necklace charms that it made her palm numb. She also realized that she had stolen all of the blankets; they were draped over her so that the only thing keeping him warm was her body molding into his in the most delightful way possible. She enjoyed the feeling, and easily concluded that it was something she could certainly get used to.

 She quickly shook those thoughts from her mind. She couldn't think like that. She was to be married in approximately thirty hours.

 Emma needed to remove herself from the bed. Slowly and ever so carefully, she started maneuvering herself out of his hold, lifting his hand from around her hip and quietly resting it on his chest. It was certainly a difficult process separating herself from Killian's embrace, but somehow she managed to sit up and stand from the bed.

 Seeing that it was seven o’clock, she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, deciding that she really needed to stretch her muscles.

 Her morning routine normally consisted of waking up at six a.m. and practicing her yoga, and since Killian was still sleeping, she decided that now was the best time. She pulled her hair into a bun and changed into a pair of dark grey yoga shorts with adjustable ties on each side, a black sports bra and red tank top.

 Emma was several feet from the end of the bed, the sensation of her muscles straining in unusual but familiar ways as she contorted her body, attaining a perfect form with ease. Yoga was something that thoroughly took her mind off of work and other stresses of a typical day for her. And it was indeed what she needed right now, the stress of her situation melting away as she alternated between different positions, her body easily flexing, and forming perfectly poised shapes.

 Transitioning her body, she laid on her stomach, using her forearms to hold her weight up before walking her feet into a Dolphin Pose with her elbows. Her palms were placed shoulder distance apart, her gaze focused between her hands and her butt raised up in the air. She was feeling very relaxed at this point, unaware of anything or anyone else in the room.

 Keeping her core engaged, she drew her shoulder blades into her back and extended her right leg up into the air, pressing down firmly into her elbows before bringing up her left leg as well. Bending her knees and sending her feet toward her head for a Scorpion Pose, she took a few slow breaths while holding her position.

 “That's certainly a sight to wake up to.”

 Even as balanced and focused as she was, Killian's seductively silky voice almost sent her crashing to the floor.

 “Talk about good form, love.”

 His words sent a shiver down her spine.

 “As much as I prefer a woman on her back, that is a very striking pose.”

 She suddenly felt self-conscious under his scrutiny, even though he seemed to enjoy the view she was offering him. Knowing that she was drawing his gaze, created a new tension in her muscles and she brought her feet back down, planting them on the floor before rising.

 “Don't stop on my account.”

 “I'm not. I'm almost finished anyways.” Avoiding any sort of eye contact with him, she laid flat on her back and closed her eyes, trying to relax her mind again, but it was very difficult under Killian’s piercing stare from where he sat on the edge of the bed. “Don't you know you're not supposed to interrupt someone while they’re engaged in their yoga workout. You're disturbing my zen. That is bad form, Jones. Very bad form.”

 “Apologies, love,” he said in a more quiet voice. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but she heard him milling about for a few moments before she heard the jingle of his keys. “I will go and get us some breakfast. What would you prefer?”

 “A blueberry muffin, please.” Emma replied quickly, her stomach growling from hearing the word ‘breakfast’ . “And a skinny Mocha Cappuccino with cinnamon and nutmeg, extra whipped cream.”

 “Sorry love, I don’t believe there’s a Starbucks around here,” he said with a chuckle. “And I’m pretty sure the hotel only has regular coffee.”

 Emma sighed. “Fine. I’ll take my coffee black then.”

 “Your wish, Princess.”

 She heard the footsteps from his boots against the floor before the door was being opened and then shut with a soft click, leaving a peaceful silence in the room.

 When she was finished with her yoga routine, she grabbed her outfit for the day and went into the bathroom, taking a long shower. She couldn't wait to purchase a phone and call her parents to let them know that she was alright. She couldn't wait to hear their voices.

 After a thoroughly long shower, Emma stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself in a towel. She started rummaging through her bag, trying to find her curling iron, but then she remembered she’d left it in her suitcase. Without even thinking, she stepped out of the bathroom, finding Killian packing his clothes into his duffle bag. A warm sensation filled her cheeks as she stepped over to her suitcase, lifting it up onto the bed. She unzipped it and started searching for her curling iron, feeling the brunt of Killian's stare.

 “Love, I’m not complaining or anything, but you best be careful how you go strutting around. We both know what happens when one of us is in nothing but a towel.”

 Emma looked up from her suitcase to see a big smirk on Killian’s face, his cheeks rosy red as he steered his eyes away from her, raising a playful brow.

 She could feel the redness of her cheeks only growing as a small smirk curved her lips, amusement laced in every word. “Yeah, except, with the tables turned, you don’t have the balls to do what I did, and I’m not as gullible as you are, so any tricks you have up your sleeve won't work on me.” Her eyes reverted back to the luggage, and she pulled out her curling iron, feeling Killian’s eye on her again. He made his way around the bed and approached her, his grin never fading. “Love, what did I tell you about challenging me? You know I never back down on a challenge, so unless you want that towel ripped from that gorgeous body of yours, choose your words very carefully,” he threatened in a playful tone.

 Emma turned around to face him, and he took her off guard when she found him so close to her that she could feel his breath brushing over her skin as her eyes connected with his. Her gaze briefly fell to his mouth before she realized what a mistake that was. His tongue was darting out and sweeping over his bottom lip in a very obscene manner, causing her breath to catch in her throat.

 “I would gladly finish what we started; all you have to do is say the word,” he informed her, his accented voice deep and plagued with mischief, the sound tugging at her belly.

 A shiver shot down her spine, and she recalled the previous day, when she boldly yanked off his towel and stroked him in her hand. Arousal started pooling in her core as she remembered how incredible he felt in just her palm. She couldn’t imagine how incredible he would feel between her legs. Emma’s eyes dropped to his lips again and she thought about how amazing it would be to kiss him, the memories of his eager tongue on hers, flooding through her mind. Emma clutched onto the lapel of his jacket, unable to draw in air as she was seriously contemplating just letting herself have him. She could easily see that Killian wanted her just as badly; he was ready to pounce.

 She shuddered, her lips closing the distance, but just before they touched his, she summoned every ounce of control within her and pulled away, releasing her grasp. “I can’t… I’m… I’m getting married tomorrow.” It pained her to utter those words, and Emma could see the disappointment flashing in his eyes, but he managed a small smile.

 “Of course, love. I understand.”

 “You do?” She asked, arching an eyebrow.

 “Aye. I understand you want to do the honorable thing. I may be a thief, but make no mistake… I also believe in good form…” he was stepping even closer, her breath rushing past her lips and her heart racing erratically in her chest as his crystal blue eyes bore into hers, “so when I win your heart, Emma…” he said, his eyes scanning the features of her face, “and I will win it… it won’t be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.”

 Emma swallowed thickly, seeing the promise in his eyes. “I have to... I have to get ready... so we can get the car to the shop,” she stammered.

 “The car is already at the shop. I called a tow truck from the front desk while you were in the shower. I also called a cab. It's picking us up in half an hour.”

 Emma had to collect her bearings as she gave him a nod. “Thank you.”

 “It's not a problem, Emma,” he assured with a smile.

 “Oh and I have your letters. I didn't want to just leave them in the car.” Emma left him to retrieve the papers from her bag, handing them over to him.

 “Thank you.” Killian took them graciously, tucking them securely in his own bag.

 “No problem,” Emma murmured as she started walking towards the bathroom with her curling iron. “I’ll be done soon.”

 Emma's stomach was coiled in knots the whole morning. After she got ready and ate the blueberry muffin Killian he'd retrieved for her, they took a cab to the repair shop, where they were told it wouldn't be done until the next day because it was literally the only repair shop in town and they were pretty backed up.

 “This is ridiculous! We don’t have time for this!” Emma huffed, frustrated and impatient as they walked out of the garage. “I’m supposed to be getting married tomorrow, Killian. What the hell are we going to do now?!”

 Killian gently placed his hand on her arm, tugging her to a halt and urging her to look at him. “Emma… we’re only seven hours away. We’ll pick up the car early in the morning and we’ll drive non-stop until we get there.”

 “But Killian, I have to get my hair done and get into my wedding gown. And what if we get stuck in a traffic jam or your car breaks down again?”

 “Well, Emma, can’t your parents postpone the wedding for a few hours, or a day?”

 Emma sighed in frustration, sinking her face into her hands. “I suppose,” she mumbled. She didn’t know if this was a blessing or a curse. And what made it worse was Killian putting his arms around her, holding her to his chest and gently rubbing her back to soothe her. She allowed her body to mold into his.

 “I’m sorry, love.”

 She knew they could have found another mode of transportation, but she couldn’t ask Killian to give up his prized yellow bug. She knew that it was more than just an object to him. It held a lot of sentimental value and she couldn't ask him to leave it behind. Emma sighed into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

 Killian dropped a gentle kiss to the top of her head, squeezing her more tightly. “Hey, perhaps they’ll have it finished before they close today. We’ll check back at 4:30, how about that?”

 Emma nodded against his shoulder. “Okay.”

 “Alright, why don’t we call your parents and get some lunch?”

 “Okay,” Emma agreed, however, she didn't want to leave his arms. Somehow, she did.

 ~*~

 “Hi Mom, it’s me.”

 “Emma?! Oh Emma, we were so worried about you!” Mary Margaret shrilled out, her words strangled and muffled through her tears.

 Emma's heart broke, knowing her mother was hurting from not knowing if her daughter was okay. “I know,” she breathed, doing her best to hold back a tear of her own. “I’m fine, I promise.”

 Her mother sighed out in relief. “Thank goodness.”

 Emma asked how everything at home was going, and how Dortha was doing. They chatted for a few minutes before she summoned the courage to ask her the dreaded question she’d been reluctant to ask. “Hey… so, would it be possible to postpone the wedding? I’m going to be a few hours later than planned. We just had some car trouble. But we’re leaving early in the morning.”

 “Oh… actually, Emma, we already had it postponed.”

 Emma's eyes grew wide with shock. “You did?”

 “Of course we did. We wouldn't expect you to get married immediately after such a horrible, traumatic experience.”

 On one hand, Emma was wracked with guilt. On the other hand, she was utterly relieved.

 “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to upset the guests or everyone that you hired for the wedding.”

 “Honey, I don’t care if they’re upset or not. This is your wedding, and your father and I want you to be able to enjoy your special day. You are our daughter, and you are the only thing that matters to us, got it?”

 “Okay.” Emma managed a smile. There was something different in her mother's words. She thought, maybe her mother had done a lot of thinking and contemplating since she found out that her daughter wasbeing held for ransom . Maybe Emma could tell her mother the truth about her desires to not marry Walsh. “Mom…”

 “Yes, sweetie?”

 “There’s something I need to tell you.”

 “What is it, Emma?”

 Emma drew in a deep breath. “I... I…” the words stumbled out of her mouth, and somehow, she couldn't do it. She was too afraid; too afraid to let everyone down. “I love you. I love you and Dad... so much.”

 “We know, sweetheart. We love you very much too. But don’t worry, you are going to come home to us, okay? Just please get here safely.”

 “I will. Can I talk to Daddy?”

 “Of course, sweetheart.”

 Emma waited for a brief moment until she heard her father’s gentle voice on the other line.

 “Hey, Princess. Are you okay?”

 “Yeah, I’m fine. Our car just broke down and we have to get the engine replaced.”

 She heard him sigh into the phone. “How long will that take?”

 “They told us it wouldn't be done until morning.”

 “Okay… where will you be staying?”

 “In a hotel. We have a room for the night, no worries.”

 “That’s good. Is he treating you…?”

 “He’s treating me fine. I promise, you don't have to worry about that.”

 Her father exhaled a deep breath. “I’m your father. It’s my job to worry about you.”

 “I know,” she said with a soft smile. “Father, can I ask you for a favor?”

 “Of course. Anything for my daughter.”

 “Please... don’t get the police involved.”

 “Emma-”

 “Please, I mean it. This guy… he’s not as bad as you think. I can’t tell you why, but he really needs the money. Just please don’t turn him in.”

 “But Emma, I’m a former police officer. Do you really think I could just let this go?”

 “No, but… please… do it for me, do it for your daughter,” she pleaded, “and trust me… you will not regret it.”

 “Okay… I’m putting my faith in you, Emma. I won't, I promise.”

 Emma could tell by the sound of his voice that he already contacted the police, but he couldn't say that over the phone, for fear that the phone was being bugged, or that her captor was forcing her to trick David into admitting that he already did. “There will be no police involved when I drop off the money. You have my word, Emma.”

 “Thank you.”

 “Of course, sweetie. But you do understand that if he doesn’t bring you back to us exactly as you left, I will take matters into my own hands?”

 She smiled again, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. I love you, Daddy.”

 “I love you too, Princess. Get home to us.”

 “I will. Promise.”

 “Oh, Walsh is here. He just came through the door. He wants to talk to you.”

 “Okay.” Emma cursed under her breath, wiping her tear as she heard her father passing the phone over.

 “Emma. Are you okay?”

 “Yeah, I’m fine,” she assured, wearing a fake smile.

 “He didn’t lay a hand you, did he? Because I will kill that assho-”

 “No, he would not hurt me.”

 “You don’t know that, Emma. Don’t trust him. He's nothing but a lowlife piece of scum!”

 Emma gritted her teeth, trying to refrain from defending Killian, but she didn't want Walsh to grow suspicious as to why she would be defending him.

 “Let me talk to that fucking bastard!” Walsh demanded harshly. His words, however, were not completely sincere, like he was only putting on a show for her parents. Walsh would never get this emotional; that just wasn't him. He wasn't passionate and he wasn't assertive. He was a boring furniture shop owner. His business was his life. The only thing he would ever get upset about is if his shipment didn't arrive on time.

 “I’m sorry, he can’t talk right now.”

 Walsh got angry and his voice grew louder as he went on, making several explicit death threats for her to pass along to Killian. Emma held the phone away from her ear, not even listening to a word he was saying. Finally, she spoke into the phone again, interrupting him. “I’m sorry, Walsh. My time is up. I have to go.” She didn’t even wait for a response before she ended the call.

 Thank God.

 She immediately threw the phone on the pavement, watching it shatter to pieces. She picked up the debris and threw it in the trash.

 “All set, love?” Killian asked, gracing her with a smile as he approached from inside Granny's Diner, bringing food; grilled cheese sandwiches and onion rings for her, and fish and chips for himself. She nodded and sat down as he placed the trays on the picnic table and took a seat across from her. “How are your parents? Are they doing okay?”

 “Yeah, They’re fine. The wedding has been delayed for now.”

 “Ah, that’s good, right love?”

 “Yeah, it is. We don’t have to rush to get there.” Emma picked up her sandwich, taking a small bite. She was glad that he talked her into this little diner a couple miles from town. Her grilled cheese sandwich was delicious. She hadn’t had one since she was very little.

 “You sure? I mean, if you really want to get back to your parents, we can find another way.

 Emma arched a brow in surprise as she gulped her food down. “You’d leave behind your bug for me?”

 Killian nodded. “Aye. But just so we’re clear, I would only do it to get you home so that you can be with your parents, not so you can marry Walsh quicker,” he said with a small smirk.

 Emma shook her head, his words sending goosebumps over her skin. “I can't ask you to give up your car.”

 “It's only an object, love. I can survive without it.”

 “But it's worth more than that. Even if we replaced all of the items that were destroyed in the Sheldon’s house fire, or built the exact same house brick by brick, those things still wouldn't hold the exact same memories. A cherished possession is not just an object. It holds value that money just can't replace,” Emma said earnestly.

 Killian studied her features carefully. “What have you lost that was valuable to you, love?”

 “Nothing.” Emma shook her head, trying to wave off the question.

 “Tell me, Emma.”

 She slowly sighed in defeat. “Fine, if you really want to know, it was my Walkman and my cassette tapes. My father bought them for me, and I listened to my music whenever I had the chance,” she explained with a small smile, her eyes lighting up with nostalgia. “It was my escape.” Her smile faded as her eyes fell to the food on her tray. “But then, one night, my mother found them in my dresser drawer while she was doing laundry… and she got rid of them. She said they were not worth my time.”

 Killian's features fell as he put a gentle hand on her arm from across the table, causing Emma to lift her head, her eyes instantly locking with his. “I'm sorry, love. You are right, those that hold memories cannot be replaced, but some things we can't hold onto forever. That's just part of life.” He spoke the words as though he knew all too well what it was like to have something taken away.

 “What about you? What did you lose that was valuable to you?”

 “I would say my family, and my Milah, but you can't lose something that never wanted you in the first place.”

 “What happened to them?”

 “My parents gave my brother and I up for adoption when I was a baby and he was only four. He took care of me when he turned eighteen, but then disowned me when he found out that I became a thief.”

 Emma swallowed thickly, lifting her hand to the table and placing it over his. “I'm sorry. How did you become a thief, anyways?”

 “It's sort of a long story,” Killian sighed, threading his fingers into hers. “It all started with Milah. I met her while she was stealing from a convenient store. I told her I wouldn't turn her in if she gave me a kiss,” he said with a chuckle. “We were only fifteen at the time.”

 Emma’s lips curled into a soft smirk. “And let me guess, she accepted your offer?”

 “Aye. Then we started dating and I found out she and her brother, Neal, were living on the streets, and they both stole in order to survive. I convinced my brother to take them into our tiny apartment that he paid the rent for, but then he found out Neal had stolen some money from him and when he found out that I knew about their thieving ways, he kicked all of us out. The only thing we had were the clothes on our backs and the yellow beetle that Neal had stolen. The three of us were inseparable, and we became an unstoppable trio, always thinking about our next move, and how to get food or shelter.”

 Emma’s heart ached for him, hearing about his struggles growing up as she soothed her thumb over his. “So then, what happened to them?”

 “Milah eventually left us. She grew tired of our lifestyle, so she fled in the middle of the night.” Killian’s eyes grew very solemn as he tightened his hand around hers. “The police found her body in the river.”

 Emma’s breath hitched, goosebumps crawling over her skin. “Oh my God. Do they know what happened?”

 “They found evidence of a struggle. She was killed, but they never found out who murdered her. After that, Neal gave me his car and had me take him to New York. I haven’t her heard from him ever since.”

 “That's awful. I'm so sorry.”

 Killian flashed her a small smile. “Thanks, love.”

 Emma's heart constricted in her chest. She couldn't believe all of the people he'd lost. “Thanks for telling me that. It know it must've been hard.”

 “It's okay. I figured it was the least I could do for everything I've put you through.” They released their hands and continued eating their lunch. “I have an idea. Why don't we do something fun after we eat?” he suggested, dipping his fry in ketchup. Emma cringed as she watched; she hated ketchup.

 She averted her gaze away from the display and raised a brow in curiosity. “What did you have in mind?”

 Killian lifted his head, a mischievous smile falling upon his lips as he inserted a fry into his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers.

 Oh Lord , she had a feeling that whatever he had in mind could not be good.

 ~*~

 “Oh no, I am not doing that.” Emma shook her head as she stood in front of a salon she would never dare step into.

 “Oh, come on, Nolan. Live a little bit. I promise, you won't regret it.”

 “Yeah, until my parents decide to kill me when they see it!”

 Killian gave a soft shrug, a crooked smirk curving his lips. “So get it where you're parents won't see.”

 Emma scoffed. “Yeah, I'll just get one on my ass, I'm sure my future husband would love that,” she spat sarcastically.

 “I don't think Walsh would know what to think.”

 “Who said I was talking about Walsh? My parents would see my bare ass before he would ever see it again.”

 Killian laughed. “I take it, you have another lucky lad lined up to be your future husband then?”

 “I'm just saying when Walsh and I get divorced and I manage to find a guy who I actually like.”

 Killian opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped himself.

 “You know what? You're right, I need to live a little. I'm gonna do it.”

 He smiled widely as she approached the door, reaching for the handle. “That a lass.”

 Emma hesitantly stepped into the tattoo parlor, Killian following behind her. Luckily they accepted walk-ins, and she was given a binder with tattoo designs.

 She looked through the different designs as she sat on a lounge chair with Killian, and decided on a simple design with music notes. He smiled and offered to go back with her to hold her hand. He said it would be painful, but Emma was more concerned with how sterile the needles actually were. She made it very clear to the artist who would be working on her tattoo that she was a lawyer. The man only chuckled and took her back through a black curtain that led her into a room with a massage table.

 The artist left the room, and Emma's stomach was in knots when she saw the various needles on the tray. Regrettably she had chosen to have the tattoo on her ass - just above her left ass cheek, to be exact. Killian, of course was very amused by this idea, but Emma chose to ignore him. She let him stay in the room though, and told him to avert his eyes as she unbuttoned her pants, pulling them halfway down her butt. She took a deep breath and laid on her stomach before the tattoo artist entered the room again.

 “Are you sure you don't want your fiance holding your hand? This is going to be painful.”

 “No, that's okay. My fiance's an ass,” she replied sarcastically, not even bothering to correct him as she flashed Killian a smirk. The man obviously noticed the ring on her finger and just assumed.

 “Oi!” Killian frowned and stuck out his bottom lip into a pout, making her giggle.

 She heard the snap of a plastic glove before the artist began. She quickly realized just how correct they both were. Emma gritted her teeth, keeping a tear from escaping her eyes as she let out a small whimper.

 “Doing alright there, love?”

 When she didn't answer, because she was too busy squeezing her eyes shut and biting her tongue, he came to her side.

 “Here, take my hand.”

 Emma didn't hesitate to take it, squeezing it tightly. She entwined her fingers into his, keeping her mind focused on other things, like how good it felt to hold Killian's hand, or the way her heart stammered whenever he was near her. She thought about their morning together, and how she woke up wrapped in his arms. She thought about how she’d never felt this way about anyone before in her entire life. And she liked the feeling. However, she hated the feeling of being tattooed. It hurt like hell.

 “Would you like to see your fiance’s tattoo before I bandage her up?” the man asked after he was finished.

 Killian smirked and looked down at Emma. “You don't mind do you, sweetheart?”

 Emma's heart skipped a beat and she shook her head. “No, I don't mind, babe,” she replied with small smile.

 Killian released her hand and walked over to the exposed area. Her face felt very flushed, especially when she heard Killian whistle. “Mm, it’s a beaut.” He then stepped over to her again, leaning down to speak quietly in her ear. “The tattoo looks good too.” Emma felt the blush deepen in her cheeks, and her smile grew even wider.

 The artist took a picture, showing it to her before cleaning the area and applying ointment and a bandage. Emma let out a breath of relief, seeing that it wasn't a bad job. In fact, she kind of liked it.

 The man left the room as she started to get up, and Killian turned around as she pulled up her pants. “Oh, now you're going to get all shy on me? You just got a peek of my ass,” Emma laughed as she zipped and buttoned up her pants.

 Killian turned around, offering a smug grin. “Believe me, I am not shy, just being a gentleman.”

 Emma rolled her eyes as she started walking towards the curtain. “We should probably leave before he thinks we’re in here making out and enjoying my new tattoo a little too much.”

 “I'm not opposed to making that a reality, love.”

 Emma snorted as she left the room, Killian hot on her heels. She shuddered pleasantly at the thought.

 When they emerged from the parlor, her tattoo was sore as she walked, and she was immediately regretting her decision. Emma couldn't believe that she just got a tattoo on her ass.

 “What now, love?”

 A slow, broad grin crawled across Emma's lips. “Now, it’s time to do what I want to do.”

 “And what would that be, love?”

 Emma pursed her lips in contemplation. “Hm... we’re going shopping.”

 “Love, believe me, I'm not opposed to that... but that's your brilliant idea?”

 She smirked, mischief dancing in her eyes. “No, it's not. We’re going shopping because you, Killian Jones,” she said, poking him in the chest, “are going to dress up and take me dancing.” Emma didn’t wait for him to respond before she turned around and started walking away.

 He quickly caught up with her, a hopeful grin on his face. “So we’re going on a date?”

 She gave him an eye roll as they continued walking down the sidewalk. “We can pretend it's a date. How about that? People seem to think we're together anyways.”

 His smile only grew as he tilted his head to look at her. “You’ve got yourself a deal, love… and a date.”

 “Not a date,” she corrected, holding back a smirk.

@rouhn @iejimi @kmomof4 @katie-dub @ijenny16 @lovepurplepumpkins@jennjenn615 @piratesbooty63fan @galadriel26 @ladyciaramiggles @andiirivera @queen-of-dancing-stars @galadriel26 @juliakaze @nfbagelperson @hey-it-is-jess @mcakers @kobe116 @phoenixsxul @winterbaby89 @allie-jimenez123-blog @lindseythompsonxoxo @ultraluckycatnd @its-about-bloody-time-cs @acaptainswaneternity @fleurreads @love-with-you-i-have-everything​

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 12: An unfortunate chain of events

One dad’s diary of balancing two young children with seven hours of RedZone channel. How much could possibly go wrong? (A lot, if you’re Alex Smith.)

A successful day of parenting has two qualities: (1) good logistics and (2) getting the hell out of the house. They work in tandem, and the farther you go, the more logistical planning you need.

For example, I know that my kids need to be down for their nap by 1:30 p.m., so any morning excursion needs to end with us back at our apartment by 1:15. Except my 18-month-old son sometimes tires out by 12:30 or 1:00, so earlier is better. And they need to eat lunch by noon, or sometimes 11:30, so we need to pack lunches or plan a stop for food. Plus snacks. Plus the diaper bag. Which stroller are we going to take — the unwieldy double? Or the collapsible one? Are we taking the subway? Does the subway stop we’re going to have an elevator, or should I plan on throwing my back out carrying a stroller up the stairs again? I swear the invasion of Normandy had fewer coordinating instructions.

This is the kind of planning my wife and I put into a Saturday excursion to a French bakery to get macarons (my three-year-old daughter has a fascination with Paris). We put my son in the foldable stroller for the short stroller ride, and counted on our daughter to walk most of the 10 blocks from subway to fancy cookies.

It went swimmingly! The kids were overjoyed to be in a new neighborhood, our scheduling was stellar, the macarons were light but rich in flavor — and then the wheels fell off. Or, more accurately, a nut fell off a screw holding the stroller together, and half the frame collapsed.

Now, instead carrying my daughter on my shoulders while my wife pushed our son in the stroller (read: walking at an adult pace), my wife carried my daughter while I slung the collapsed stroller over one shoulder and carried my son in my other arm. He is the approximate size and shape of a 27-pound kettlebell, minus the convenient handle. It was slow going.

When we finally got on a subway home, I looked at the stroller, the conveyance that made the trip easy until one tiny lost part turned it into dead weight and gave us extra things to carry. This is where, if I were concerned about making this a football metaphor, I would talk about injuries and the difficulties of replacing a star player mid-season in the salary cap era.

But I’m not. I just wanted to complain.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Here is my ranking of early slate games based on anticipated entertainment value to me. NOTE: I have weird tastes and strong grudges.

Bears-Eagles. The Eagles are fun to watch, the Bears are an entertaining disaster, and I love blowouts.

Bucs-Falcons. Mike Evans and Julio Jones.

Bills-Chiefs. Both teams are in freefall, I picked the Bills to cover today, and I’m an ardent supporter of Tyrod Taylor, Competent Starting Quarterback.

Panthers-Jets. The Jets are trash but I kind of love them? For not sucking as hard as they should? Love is weird, man.

Titans-Colts. A pleasing array of blue uniforms.

Dolphins-Patriots. I have Rob Gronkowski on a fantasy team.

Browns-Bengals. No to this much orange. No to this much Ohio.

— Speaking of Browns-Bengals, my daughter pooped on the toilet just before the games started. Three more poops on the toilet, and she gets to watch her first movie: Moana.

I’m familiar with the schools of thought that say you shouldn’t incentivize potty training, and that’s how we started off, too. Then my daughter started holding in poops for several days before struggling to crank out the hardened rock in her butt, and we implemented a multi-tiered system of bribes that would put FIFA to shame.

— The kids come and kiss me before naptime as Tom Brady hits Gronk on a 3rd and 7. The Pats are already up 7-0 after running a fake punt on 4th and 9 deep in their own territory, and they soon double their lead with a TD to Gronk. I’m fine calling this one over.

— Tyrod Taylor finds Zay Jones on a drag route across the end zone (NOTE: as always, when I cite the route that was run, any inaccuracies are due to not paying attention and lack of replays). The Bills are up 7-0 at the end of the first quarter, and Alex Smith has looked VERY shaky to start the game. So I guess that’s why they don’t hand out actual Quarter-Season MVP trophies.

— In a bang-bang flurry of cuts, RedZone shows three straight touchdowns: Mohammed Sanu hits Julio Jones for a 51-yard touchdown bomb from the Wildcat formation; the Dolphins scoop up an errant snap to score a defensive TD; and Cam Newton runs it in on a bootleg on 3rd and goal at the goal line.

I will now embed the best of those three plays.

Look at that cool head despite the bobbled snap! I am prepared to declare Mohammed Sanu better than at least five starting quarterbacks in the NFL.

Also, I called that a Wildcat formation, but the Wildcat really seems more a principle at this point: “We have replaced our quarterback with someone more athletic for one play. He can’t really read a defense, but we’re not necessarily counting on him to. Are you ready? ‘Cuz this is gonna be an adventure for us, too.”

— Nelson Agholor flips into the end zone, and the Eagles are up 14-0 over the Bears. This game is as good as over, but I love that there’s so much more to come. THRASH THE SCRUBS.

— Alex Smith has started 1/6 for 3 yards. Chiefs Twitter is embroiled in a bitter civil war between fans who want Pat Mahomes to start and fans who blame the play-calling, or the line, or ... buddy, I don’t see how this is on anyone but Smith. He seems like a very nice person who’s gone through a lot of professional hardship, but at this point I a benching would be an act of mercy.

Also, I crave Pat Mahomes bombs. LET PAT COOK!

— On Saturday, when we’d gotten back on the subway after the stroller broke, I said to my wife, “It reminds me of that saying, “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost...”

She gave me a puzzled look.

“You know, ‘For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost,’ then the rider was lost, then the message, and so on until the war was lost.”

Her face was still blank. Had she really never heard this common proverb about logistics in war? I shrugged and offered meekly, “My parents used to say it.”

“You and I had really different childhoods,” she replied.

— Julio Jones had one touchdown in the first 11 weeks of the season (proof that football is flawed). He now has two in the first half against the Bucs.

http://pic.twitter.com/FWGgJ8bdXi

— ALSO, KEITHFUJIMOTO (@vineydelnegro) November 26, 2017

RIP, those ankles.

QUESTION: Hey, what about the ball coming loose after Jones hit the pylon? There have been repeated rulings that players haven’t been established as a runner despite taking several steps while making a catch, so if Jones lost the ball going to ground, shouldn’t that be a touchback? Or at least reviewed with closer scrutiny than it got?

ANSWER: SHUT UP NERD. Did you see that cornerback fall down or what?

— Alex Smith update: He is 2 of 8 for seven yards. The Bills’ Steven Hauschka misses a 52-yarder, so the Chiefs will have good field position to try to get their first first down of the day as the clock approaches the 2-minute warning.

OK, we have a first down! But it’s still not great for the Chiefs. It feels like every replay features the color commentator circling the open receiver that Smith didn’t see. Still, KC gets its first points of the day with a Harrison Butker field goal, and the Bills hustle to answer before the gun: Hauschka is good from 56 yards, and the Bills lead 13-3 at halftime.

— Robby Anderson makes a RIDICULOUS catch in double coverage for a touchdown. This marks his fifth straight game with a touchdown.

.@youngamazing9 beats double coverage with EASE. #Jets http://pic.twitter.com/uAtifOZIVW

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

One of my co-workers offered Anderson to me as part of a trade package last week — “Anderson’s been really good lately,” he said — and I reacted like he’d offered me a plate of dog crap. Look, I enjoy the scrappiness of the Jets, but I don’t want them on my fantasy teams.

— With less than 10 seconds left in the half, Matt Moore gets picked off in the end zone. Instead of trailing by just one score, the Dolphins will go in to the locker room trailing 21-10.

Not that it matters, of course. Miami’s lone touchdown is a chance defensive score on a bad snap. They’ve already gotten their breaks for the game (they also snatched an INT from Brady, just his third of the season), and they’re losing anyway. I’m not sure why I framed a potential one-score game as potentially affecting the outcome; I blame the announcers.

— Alshon Jeffery, working out of the slot in the red zone, puts Eagles up 24-0 with five seconds left in the half. The score, his seventh of the season, triggers a $250,000 performance clause in Jeffery’s contract, as well as an extremely good celebration.

BOWLING FOR EAGLES http://pic.twitter.com/RXEYdmuiU9

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 26, 2017

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Albert Wilson slips through several defenders to score the Chiefs’ first touchdown. KC has some life, and now trails 13-10.

— Holy hell, what a play by McCown to Anderson for 50-plus yards and the TD. The Jets now lead 17-12.

"GO DEEP!" - @JoshMcCown12 And that's exactly what @YoungAmazing9 did. Another @NYJets TD! #Jets http://pic.twitter.com/Gdi31ZUDG0

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

I would like to issue an apology to Josh McCown. Before the season, I said the only job he should have at age 38 is as a backup for a good team, and that he had no business starting. That was wrong: He has completed more than 67% of his passes for 17 touchdowns (both career bests) while throwing eight interceptions in 11 games. That’s totally serviceable! I’d take McCown over Joe Flacco any day.

— Ummmmm...

How does Chris Myers think burping a baby works? http://pic.twitter.com/lwYCec5jxg

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) November 26, 2017

Look, announcers have to say a LOT of words every game, and the right phrase isn’t always on the tip of your tongue. Chris Myers saw Delanie Walker performing CPR on the football, and the words that came out to describe it were “burping the baby.” I don’t think he doesn’t know know how to burp a baby. It’s not like he’s fending off lawsuits for crushing infants’ chests while babysitting, you know?

— My daughter wakes up from her nap. “Can I watch football too, Daddy?” she says. My heart gushes. I doubt that this is anything approaching an original thought, but I think the reason I’m so madly in love with my daughter is that she’s a little copy of the woman I love the most, but with flashes of my own DNA. So she’s a combination of my most selfless love with the egotistical love I have for myself, and those feelings happening at the same time is more powerful than any other emotion I’ve felt.

My son? Oh yeah! He’s great too. Love that little dude.

— Jonathan Stewart scores for the Panthers, but the two-point conversion comes up short. Carolina takes an 18-17 lead.

— My wife goes to get our son up from his nap, but he rejects her presence. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” I go in and play peekaboo with him, and he cackles maniacally. It’s my laugh, in toddler form. Let the record show that I love him as much as my daughter.

— With the Chiefs trailing and less than three minutes left, Alex Smith throws off-target on 4th and four. The pass was closer to being intercepted than it was to being completed. The film session for this game isn’t gonna be fun for him.

Wouldn’t it suck to have to sit through critical replays of your job? “Here’s where your Powerpoint went off the rails, Johnson. What was this chart supposed to accomplish? Look at the clients’ eyes here: They’re completely glazed over! You lost your audience!”

— After a Jets field goal, the Panthers take the lead on a fumble recovery that goes for six the other way. The two-point conversion gives them a six-point lead, and my precious 4.5-point spread looks in trouble.

— Trailing 16-10, the Chiefs have one last chance to mount a game-winning drive, and Alex Smith ... throws an interception. Tradavious White returns the ball all the way to the Chiefs’ 10-yard line, and boos rain down on Smith. Poor guy. Poor Chiefs fans, too, but I’m still allowed to feel bad for a nice guy who sucks at his job.

— The Panthers return a punt for a touchdown, and the Jets have now COMPLETELY Jets’d this up. They allowed consecutive defensive and special teams touchdowns to go from winning this game to having no chance to cover. I can’t WAIT to go back to not caring about the Jets.

— The Eagles defense, thinking they’d intercepted a Trubisky pass late in the game, perform the Electric Slide. But the call is overturned, so they intercept Trubisky again, and perform the Electric Slide again.

Eagles making an Electric Slide music video this time out http://pic.twitter.com/q4RTtlXYZC

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) November 26, 2017

The celebration only counts if the play stands.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Totally biased late slate entertainment rankings:

Seahawks-49ers. Here is my weekly apology for being a Seahawks fan. If I could stop, I would.

Saints-Rams. This should have been flexed into Sunday Night Football. I reject Brett Hundley from primetime.

Jaguars-Cardinals. The Calais Campbell/Blaine Gabbert revenge game! Also, Blaine Gabbert versus Blake Bortles reminds me of one of my favorite tweets.

Broncos-Raiders. I appreciate the bad blood, but “Paxton Lynch versus Marshawn Lynch” doesn’t quite move the needle when both teams have losing records.

— It’s rainy and windy in Santa Clara, and on the first play from scrimmage, Russell Wilson ignores a short throw to a wide-open J.D. McKissic in order to throw to a blanketed Jimmy Graham. Eric Reid picks him off.

— For a couple of blissful minutes, my kids play together peacefully without any involvement from their parents. Is this ... Could this be a glimpse of what we hoped for when we had kids 19 months apart? Like, OF COURSE, they’ll fight over toys, but the mere NOTION of entire minutes where I don’t have to actively parent one or both of them makes my heart sing.

— After a Seahawks drive stalls, Blair Walsh is wide left from 48.

“He only missed PATs for one season.”

— Saints-Rams is finally underway. The Rams put together an impressive drive and go up 7-0 on a short slant to Sammy Watkins.

— RedZone’s first look at Broncos-Raiders is a knock-down drag-out fight between Michael Crabtree and Aqib Talib on the sidelines, and on the field, and across the field. Both players — as well as Gabe Jackson — are tossed from the game.

It started the play before, when Crabtree punched Chris Harris in the stomach. On the next play, Crabtree blocked Talib, and the cornerback took the opportunity to snatch the Raider’s chain for the second year running.

I know that fighting is bad, especially given that players are already trying to murder each other within the rules on every play of the game, but ... this was all WILDLY ENTERTAINING. Like, Marshawn Lynch escorting Talib out of the game is only the fourth- or fifth-most intriguing part of this.

Marshawn Lynch escorted Aqib Talib out of the game. http://pic.twitter.com/D2Cci6Ks3c

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) November 26, 2017

I’m so bummed that this is the second Broncos-Raiders game of the year. I want another one!

— Bobby Wagner straight up ROBS a man of a catch, and the Seahawks get the ball at 14. Two plays later, Russell Wilson’s read-option fools the camera man (and everyone else) as he scoots in for the touchdown.

After review... It's a @Bwagz54 INT! #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/HQTT7JFBqO

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

.@DangeRussWilson will do it himself! #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/GbC1G1o1g8

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

— Alvin Kamara breaks a 74-yard run for a TD. Holy crap. The Saints cut the Rams’ lead to 10-7.

He. Is. GONE. 74-yard @A_kamara6 TOUCHDOWN! #GoSaints http://pic.twitter.com/EhnZE2cAFX

— NFL (@NFL) November 26, 2017

I will never forgive myself for not getting Kamara in any of my fantasy leagues. All of the excitement at the beginning of the season for Kareem Hunt and Tarik Cohen has faded, and it’s Kamara who’s the real truth. I love that dude. (NOTE: I have no idea what he looks like without a helmet.)

— We get my parents on a Facetime call so they can see the kids. I say “see” and not “talk with,” because conversing with the kids through the screen is almost impossible. My son only wants to get close enough to touch the screen (he constantly hangs up on family members), while my daughter becomes hyperactive, running from room to room, posing in downward dog, and crawling through a collapsible tunnel we’ve laid out. After each trick she runs to the iPad to make sure she’s still being watched, shriek-laughs, and runs off to do something else.

— Even though Talib got the better of Crabtree, the actual football game has been all Raiders, thanks mostly to Paxton Lynch. Jared Cook makes a nice catch in the back of the end zone, and the Raiders lead 14-0.

wow that stat http://pic.twitter.com/C6lZQIwgN5

— Harry Lyles Jr. (@harrylylesjr) November 26, 2017

— ENDORSEMENT: The frozen mini chicken tacos from Trader Joe’s. They’re one of the rare foods that both of my kids will eat every time without complaint.

— The Jags get on the board with a field goal before the half; they trail 13-3. Nothing about the Cardinals’ lead feels safe, yet Blake Bortles isn’t exactly the man I’d choose to lead a comeback. The Jags will need a defensive or special teams TD to get back in the game.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— The 49ers open the second half with a big dose of Carlos Hyde, who batters the Seahawks D and carries the Niners into Seahawks territory. A field goal cuts the Seahawks’ lead to 7-6.

— One of my daughter’s pretend games is a spin on the Sleeping Beauty/Snow White plot: She puts me or my wife to sleep with magic, we fall asleep, then she wakes us up with a kiss. When she comes to work her magic on me, I fall asleep very slowly, yawning as I watch Russell Wilson convert a 3rd and nine by hitting a leaping, twisting Doug Baldwin downfield. She kisses me awake before the next play, another shot downfield to Tanner McEvoy. The quick drive ends with a Nick Vannett TD and no other magical comas.

— RedZone shows clips of Calais Campbell reuniting with his former teammates before the game. And yet no mention of the respect Jaguars players surely have for Blaine Gabbert. What a shame.

— I have the TV muted while we listen to a Beatles playlist. I’ve never cared much for the Beatles, but their work holds up as children’s music. The Beatles are like if Raffi had an edge and more instruments.

Now, some people might be angered by that take, but I’m not trying to be incendiary. Revolver and Sgt. Pepper are two of the best children’s albums ever made, and I’ll take “Yellow Submarine” over “Banana Phone” any day. Well, almost any day. Banana phones are pretty funny.

— Both defenses in the Saints-Rams game have stiffened — no points in 3rd quarter, and not much in the way of drives, either.

— Bork Birdles scores on a bootleg. The Jags trail 16-10.

— Jimmy Graham scores a touchdown on a short slant. With the ball on the left hash, the Seahawks lined up five wide receivers -- three on the left, two on the right. Then they motioned Tyler Lockett to the left, leaving Graham isolated on the wide side of the field. A fade was the obvious call, which is probably what made getting open on the slant so easy.

I wrote all of that out because it took the Seahawks TWO YEARS to figure this shit out, even though the Saints printed money with plays like that for five years.

— Let’s check in on Paxton Lynch:

Paxton Lynch is 7-of-12 for 35 yards, 0 TD and 1 INT. Vs. the NFL's worst defense. It's more than halfway through the third quarter.

— Frank Schwab (@YahooSchwab) November 26, 2017

— With the kids in the bath, my wife has switched to a Christmas music playlist. My daughter splashes my wife after being told not to do so, so I come in to levy the punishment. I pull my daughter out of the bath, and she starts screaming. It takes some of the enjoyment out of Mariah Carey singing “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Only some of it, though. That song is a fortress of good cheer.

— After my daughter calms down, I put her in her pajamas. “What was your favorite part of the day?” I ask. “Was it splashing in the bath?”

“Yeah,” she says, though not with conviction.

“Was it playing with Evan and eating my breakfast sandwich?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it going to church with Mommy?”

She pauses. “No.”

— With the Saints down by 13 at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Alvin Kamara adds “hurdling guys” to his repertoire.

This just in: Alvin Kamara is extremely talented #Saints http://pic.twitter.com/uobNEKP6R0

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 26, 2017

On the same drive, the Saints go for it on 4th and five at the edge of field goal range, and Brees again goes to Kamara, which sets up first and goal. But the drive stalls, and the Saints kick a field goal like a bunch of cowards. They’re gonna lose the game now.

— While I sing “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic” to my kids, Calais Campbell scoops up a fumble and runs it in to give Jags a 17-16 lead. I love how predictable the Jaguars are. NOW GIMME SOME BORTLES IN CRUNCH TIME.

— With about a minute and a half remaining, the Niners lose C.J. Beathard to an injury after a hard hit from Michael Bennett. IT’S GAROPPOLO TIME.

Down 24-6, Jimmy G calmly steers the Niners a whole 19 yards, culminating in a touchdown on the final play of the game. Just a really thrilling ending for the Niners faithful who stuck around, and a devastating turn of events for the heroes like me who had the Seahawks defense in fantasy.

— Strangely, the Broncos scoring points has coincided with Trevor Siemian replacing Paxton Lynch, who left the game with an injury.

This @TrevorSiemian TD pass... #DENvsOAK http://pic.twitter.com/0HDLVieQKl

— NFL (@NFL) November 27, 2017

That score makes it 21-14, and the Raiders will need a first down or two to kill the clock.

— Late in the fourth quarter, with the game tied at 24, Jacksonville intercepts Gabbert, and Scott Hanson actually says, “Blake Bortles getting a chance to be a hero...”

Come on, now. We know better than this. When Bortles is in charge of a two-minute drill, don’t frame it in the positive. At the very least, be noncommittal. “Let’s see what the Jaguars do here.” “We’re heading for an interesting finish.” “Surely both sides are nervous here.” Hedge your bets, man.

On 3rd and six, at the outer edge of FG range, Tyrann Mathieu intercepts Bortles.

— On 3rd and eight, deep in his own territory, Derek Carr hits Cordarelle Patterson deep to kill off the Broncos’ hopes for a comeback.

Oh my, @ceeflashpee84! 55-yard gain on the pass from @derekcarrqb! #RaiderNation http://pic.twitter.com/ahy06MkyFl

— NFL (@NFL) November 27, 2017

— Alvin Kamara gets in for another score, and it’s back to a one-possession game with 1:45 remaining. It is unfathomable to me that Kamara only got 11 touches in this game (for 188 yards and two touchdowns). I understand that he’s not built like a workhorse, but Sean Payton may want to revisit that decision after this game.

The onside kick is no good, and the Rams win.

— The Jaguars have gotten the ball back with the game still tied. Once again, Blake Bortles has a chance to be the hero, which is to say: He throws another interception. Phil Dawson kicks a 57-yard field goal and the Cardinals win.

— As the games wrap up, I knead the mixture that will become tonight’s meatloaf. I won’t go into my mother’s full recipe — although putting a recipe at the end of 4000 words of derivative bullshit would make this a typical internet recipe — but the combination of ground beef, ground pork, raw egg, bread crumbs, and various sauces and spices is less than pleasant.

It gets better as I go, though, and after I shape the loaf and wash my hands, I put the pan in the oven and watch RedZone’s touchdown montage. It goes on a little too long, but then, so do most things about the NFL.

[coconutseaways]

We made it!! Horta - 2017

Where do I even begin!? I guess from the beginning. June 10, 2017 - Day 1 I was wanting. To leave at the crack of dawn. We had been watching the weather and 6 am showed that the worst of the low pressure had passed and we would be in the clear. A little windy but nothing to out of hand. We didn't wake up until 7 or 8 and then it took us a couple hours to get sorted. I was so antsy to get going. Then we lifted anchor and started motoring east towards the sea. It was about midday when we officially were into the ocean and out of the coastline. We had our (#3) working jib attached on the Furler and the main sail fully hoisted. As we made our way out of the protection of the little islands and Chester basin the waves started to feel a little more choppy. We made it to a rocky shoal area called Bull Rock when I started to feel the heaving in my stomach. Not 30 minutes later, I was holding a bucket. I have been sea sick only a couple times in Manitoba, usually when the waves are rolly and choppy and I try to go down below to focus on something like my phone or whatnot. I definitely did not expect to be as sick as I was. It took about 24 hours for the sea to calm down from the passing storm and about the same time for my stomach to realize we were not going back to land and to toughen up. Moral of the story is don't go out on the ocean right after a crazy low pressure because the after effects last for a while and are not fun. Thankfully our self steering was on and mike was able to do everything while I worked on getting my sea legs. Our first night, Mike was able to sleep while I got up every 15 minutes to check for ships. I was still feeling a bit ill but I knew he needed some rest. Day 2 The next morning I was feeling better but I couldn't eat anything. Thankfully we had Gatorade on board to keep me hydrated. Around noon our self steering started making a weird sound and within half hour it crapped out completely! Ughhh! So Mike had to sit and steer while I tried to regain some strength. I had mostly stopped throwing up but still felt pretty bad. He managed to do it most of the day but then night came and he was getting tired. So I mustered up some strength and was able to sit for a couple hours and steer while Mike got some shut eye. It was tough because I felt like I could sleep for a day straight and you are just steering through darkness. You keep pointing at your compass bearing and you can see a faint line of the horizon where the water meets the sky, but it's all in dark shades of grey. You can see some of the rippling from the waves but can't see the actual wave coming at you. We had a wind from the south which pushed along a little more north than our original route. We were still in cold water and aiming for the Gulf Stream to pick up current and warmth. Day 3 The sun was out, the air was warm and humid. The south wind was bringing a lovely tropical feeling in the air even bough we were still around 41 North. We had some great wave surfing and topped our wooed at 17 knots! Surfing waves on a boat is so cool. The wave curls along side the boat as you steer through the tunnel. It was a great day of sailing and Mike had a lot of fun trying to catch each wave. I was finally able to say that I had my sea legs. My stomach had shrunk a bit but I was now actually hungry and was eating as much as I could to recover. Even though I had good foul weather gear, most of my pants ended up wet from the waves splashing over and seeping in the sides. And because it was cold I had more than one layer on. So by day 3 almost all of my pants were salty wet. So we fresh water rinsed then and hung as many out to dry as we could but there wasn't enough line and then the sun went away. So I ended up with a pile of soaking wet clothes and no way to dry them. We waited to see if the next day would bring out the sun again to dry them some more but unfortunately it was damp and cloudy. The wind just kept increasing and increasing. The fun wave surfing became not so fun because we had giant waves and honking wind. It was a little crazy for me so Mike ended up steering us for quite a while until he was too tired. Luckily for me the wind had eased a very small amount and I was able to control the boat without too much difficulty. Day 4 We made good use of our reef points on the main sail. There are 3 reefing points and that allows us to lower our main sail to reduce sail area. The sun was now buried behind the thickest gray clouds. The wind was colder since it had swung from the south to the north east and that made us change course and head more south. Every night we were in a harness clipped onto the boat in case there was a fall. At least we couldn't fall off the boat while the other was sleeping. Having to steer the boat the whole way made it very lonely for us. Because we weren't even able to stand and hug each other and each night was us sleeping alone because the other one had to stay at the wheel. It was tough to be together the whole time but not be able to be affectionate with each other. I was in survival mode. Eat when I had to and drink lots of water. When it was my shift I put my music on and pushed through the hours. When it was my turn for a break I slept as much as I could. At night I experienced sailing through my first electrical storm. Luckily it was beside us and not directly over. But it freaked me right out to see a flash of light in the otherwise darkness of sea and sky. Mike and I watched the storm pass behind us and over to the other side through the night. Thankfully if the boat ever did get struck, the mast is grounded through the spreaders down to the keel. Chance of electrocution is very small but it would be a loud bang and some damage to say the least. Day 5 Still no sun. I'm getting depressed. Two layers of clouds are blocking the sun and you can't even see where it is supposed to be during the day. Light grey and dark grey. That's all I get. Can't charge anything without solar power so we just kept pushing through. I just wanted the sun to come out. We had our lazy jack come undone and the chafing ended up causing our boom topping lift cable to break. When that happened it caused the remaining cable to wind around 3 different ropes creating a nasty knot way up the mast. Mike figured a way to use the boat hook to pull down and get a hand on it. Then we winched it in and the cable snapped off. The lazy jack was still out of reach but at least the knot was gone and we were able to hoist another sail and drop the main if we needed. The night shift is brutal. 4 hours drags by so slowly when your by yourself in the dark. I hated it. I usually did the 9-1 or 10-2 shift while mike took the 2am to 6am. Then we alternated 2 hour shifts and napped until we felt more rested. Day 6 Same cloudy sky. No sun. Each day made me feel more down. I just need the sun. A couple times during the nights we were becalmed for an hour or so. Flapping around. Which is the most frustrating thing. The wind had increased and it was a bit rough going but when I was steering, all of a sudden there was a massive grey body right beside the boat. Floating right beside us was a sperm whale just checking us out. It was a little scary because all of a sudden there is this massive creature beside you. So very cool. The end of day 6 the sun finally showed at sunset and it made me cry. I wanted the trip to be over no doubt. And finally seeing the sun you realize how much little things can mean when you're in the middle of nowhere. Mike felt really bad for me and I went on my 4 hour shift feeling my absolute lowest. I asked the sun to please come out tomorrow because I couldn't do another day without. It was a long night Day 7 The sun is out!!!! Oh thank goodness. Blue sky and sun. It made me feel so much better almost instantly. I felt like I could do the rest of the trip. However we were still days away so I was mentally trying to keep myself from getting too anxious. I knew the end was coming but it was not close enough to be excited else it would have felt like even longer. But I did start counting down the rest of the night shifts. Soon they would be over! Day 8 We had dolphins join us quite regularly throughout the trip. Only the one spent whale so far that came close. Lots of Man O Wars - the jellyfish with the air bubble on top. They are pretty but have brutal tentacles. One long one that can span 15 feet or more. Day 9 The wind had swung around and was making us head more south than we had wanted. Finally we got a little break and she let us point more toward Horta. But we were beating into the wind for the time being which makes it seem much colder. I was fully dressed with two jackets, life jacket, foul weather thick pants (like ski pants) a scarf around my face and a toque. This was my usual get up when it was my shift. Even if the sun was shining that's what I was wearing. I felt like my cheeks were being ripped apart by the wind, even with the scarf trying to hide all the skin on my face. Day 10 We are getting so close. I had hoped to make it a 10 day trip but we are still a couple hundred miles away. The really countdown started at 500 miles. But being under 200 made me feel so much better. I had that extra push if wanting to get there and we knew that we were going to make it in time for our first Airbnb booking. As long as the wind kept up. My spirit definitely lightened up being closer to the destination. It was a hard race. There was no relaxing and no stopping. We were on a deadline and that makes a trip like this so much harder to do. The wind completely dies off at night. I am so frustrated with it. We need the wind!! Come back please. We made barely any headway compared to the other nights. Ugh. Day 11 Sunrise and there is Faial island and Pico Island. You can see the mountain and the sunrise lights it up like a beacon home. Oh it's a magnificent sight. But it's still a good distance away. Now we aim for land. The wind has given us a little more room. We are still close hauling and she has started blowing again. Not too heavy but enough to give us the momentum we need. We spend the day getting excited and talking about what we are gonna do when we get there. I want a pizza! Mike wants a beer and a prego roll! I want to lay in a park and sleep on land, get off the boat. Do some laundry. Just stop for a minute. Last night shift. It goes by at a moderate pace. I have my music and it helps but really I can't wait to be done. Day 12 The wind is light but still there. We will make it in about 8 hours. We are 40 miles away and you can see the gorgeous island in front getting closer. Then the wind completely dies on us. The ocean looks like glass which I would have thought could never happen. No waves no wind. We bob for a while and then get lucky because two sperm whales decide to check us out. They get so close and one passes right in front of the bow. They are massive! I am in total awe of their size and majesty. Mind blowing. We spend at least an hour with them before they start to leave. Then we fired up the engine and started motoring toward Horta. We arrived in the harbour just before midnight. Exhausted but excited to be there it was such a relief to drop anchor and stop. We are here we made it. June 22, 11:58 we are here. Our first booking is tomorrow with 5 guests. Oh man do we have work to do! But for now we sleep, finally at the same time in the same bed. I made some popcorn, we ate, we passed out. June 23 We get up around 8 and then row onto land. We have to find the port authority and customs to check in but they don't open until 9. So we grab an Americano at Cafe Sport and enjoy our first time sitting on land. Once we did that it was off to customs. No problem checking in. Very easy. Spent the rest of the morning over hauling the boat, filling water tanks and airing stuff out. I got some wifi and met our first guests at the cafe. It was all a blur but they were all very friendly. We asked for a couple more hours to overhaul the boat which they were totally fine with. Mike and I went into overdrive storing anything we could away to make room for the 5 guests plus us. 7 onboard is a pretty full boat but we made it work. By 3pm we had them on board and checked in with port authority as crew. I will write another blog about our time with them. 4 great nights with great people. The voyage over was exhausting but an experience that I will never forget. I was so happy to finally get here. To be on an island I've never seen before. It is just breath taking. Absolutely amazing. I'm so glad I had Mike with me to do this amazing journey. I don't think I could've done it with anyone else. He really is a great partner and support. I love him. So far so good guys!!! Will post again in a couple days with the Airbnb experience!

[junker-town]

The day Chris Long gave a season of NFL checks to charity

The Eagles defensive end’s career is football, but he won't let it be his legacy.

Chris Long looks up from his phone in time to see the stoplight change from yellow to red. He slams on the brakes of his Toyota FJ Cruiser and apologizes; he’s trying to follow his GPS while looking for an Instagram video he filmed with a drone at his farm in Virginia. It’s a bird’s eye view of him and a few childhood friends blowing up a Darth Vader doll stuffed with colored powder and Tannerite, an explosive target used in rifle practice.

Long, a defensive end for the Philadelphia Eagles, is driving to the Mariana Bracetti Academy Charter School in North Philly to speak to high schoolers. Earlier this morning, he announced that he and his wife Megan are donating his last 10 game checks to three different organizations devoted to educational equality in the three cities in which he’s played football. He’s calling his new initiative “Pledge 10 for Tomorrow,” encouraging fans to give what they can, and he’ll donate an extra $50,000 to the city with the most donations.

“Ah, here it is!” he says, finding the video. “I know Tannerite isn’t good, but how cool does this look?”

He hands me his phone. It looks very cool, mesmerizing even. Long has set the video to a song by My Morning Jacket, and the soaring chords match the brilliant bursts of teals, greens, and pinks that billow out against a white blanket of snow.

“One of my buddies from high school who I do this stuff with just had a kid,” Long says, taking his phone back. “I hope it doesn’t mean he’ll stop doing dumb shit like this with me.”

I remind Long, who is 32, that he has a kid, and that having children hasn’t stopped him, nor generations of men before him, from doing dumb shit.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says, and smiles.

Long starts telling me about the other dumb shit he does. He regularly runs out of gas. He's had the car we’re in for two years and hasn't registered it. He lost his birth certificate a while ago. He was so obsessed with the movie Drive that he bought himself a ‘96 Chevy Impala, then totaled it listening to the soundtrack a day later. (He owned a replica of the scorpion jacket Gosling wore, too, but gave it to Goodwill after the crash because “the dream had died.”) Last year, he listed his former Patriots teammate Danny Amendola’s number on a fake Craigslist ad for a Suzuki Spider, then watched a bewildered Amendola field calls from people looking to buy his nonexistent motorcycle. He and William Hayes, who’s on the Dolphins now but played with Long on the Rams, once filled a teammates’ car with packing peanuts and crickets. The crickets died and it smelled terrible.

“I am incapable of not being a regular fucking moron,” Long says, laughing.

He misses the turn for the high school. He whips the car around, finds the entrance, parks, and walks by a few vans belonging to local news crews and NFL Films. The league is filming the event for some series about Players Doing Good Stuff.

This fall is the first time Long has so overtly publicized his charitable work. He founded WaterBoys in 2014 after he climbed Kilimanjaro with his then-teammate James Hall. So far the organization has funded 26 wells — 22 of which have been built in East Africa — that serve 7,000 people each. With former NFL player and Green Beret Nate Boyer, Long also leads trips of veterans up Kilimanjaro. He then founded the Chris Long Foundation in 2015.

Following the Unite the Right rally in his hometown of Charlottesville, Va., he was moved to put his arm around his teammate Malcolm Jenkins when Jenkins raised his fist during the national anthem before a preseason game. Long has continued to do so through the season, and yesterday, he and Jenkins were two of 12 players at the NFL owners fall meetings to discuss the protests. In a week, they will spend their day off after the Eagles’ Monday Night Football game against Washington at the Pennsylvania State Capitol advocating for criminal justice reform.

After his symbolic gesture, Long felt he had to publicly do something concrete. In September, he gave his first six checks to fund two scholarships at St. Anne’s-Belfield, the private high school he went to in Charlottesville (even though he and Megan had quietly funded two already, and those kids are about to head off to college). But he wanted do something “more macro,” so now he’s giving away his last 10 checks, too, forgoing an entire season’s salary. He also created the matching campaign on social media because he thinks a lot of people truly do want to help, they just don't know how. Give them a link and a pre-vetted charity, turn it into a competition, and boom: you’re raising hundreds of thousands of dollars. (As of publication, Long has raised over $205,000.)

Inside the high school, Sylvia Watts McKinney, the director of Summer Search, one of the programs Long is supporting, introduces him to the group of kids he’ll be speaking to. She reads a passage from Ralph Ellison’s essay What These Children Are Like.

“If you can show me how I can cling to that which is real to me, while teaching me a way into the larger society, then I will not only drop my defenses and my hostility, but I will sing your praises and help you to make the desert bear fruit.”

“A little bit about me,” Long says, after he thanks McKinney and takes the mic. “I’m a football player. I spent eight years in St. Louis, and we never won more than seven games in a season, which is really bad, for anyone who follows football. It was a rough time.”

He’s not using any notes, and sounds far more natural than he did recording a Pledge 10 PSA from a teleprompter this morning at the Eagles facility. The students, very few of whom are white, seem skeptical at first, but they warm up as Long tells them how the Rams never made the playoffs, how he was injured in 2014, how he was released in 2015, how he went to New England and won a Super Bowl. He thinks he can do that here with the Eagles. A few kids whoop.

Long, back row, with students from North Philly’s Mariana Bracetti Academy Charter School.

“For me as a student growing up,” Long says, switching gears, “I had everything I could ask for. Every resource was at my disposal. I went to a private school, I had tutoring, all those mentoring opportunities I needed, but I still struggled in school. I wasn’t a great student, but I also think I took it for granted. And that is something I really regret.”

Long did, and does, have everything. He’s the son of Diane and Howie Long. Howie was a famous NFL player, actor, and is now an analyst. Football is the reason Long — and his brother Kyle, who plays for the Bears, and Howie Jr., who works in player personnel for the Raiders — grew up rich and is the thing that has made him richer. It’s afforded him over 311,000 Twitter followers, given him a platform. Which, right now, he’s using to tell kids that they should value people the way people value retweets or likes on Instagram. This makes them laugh.

Then he lets it rip.

“Life is short,” he says. “Live it with joy. I really think that the biggest thing I could leave you with today is to take pleasure in the work that you do, whether in classroom or community, and enjoy it. Be that contagious light that spreads energy to other people. Great people make other people feel they can be great, too. We talk about this in the locker room as football players and leaders, how you want everyone around you to feel like they can be great for having played with you, sat in a classroom with you, been a friend of yours. Through your loyalty, your excitement, and for who you are. Be contagious in your energy.”

It’s Wednesday around noon, five hours before the event at the high school, and Long is walking into the Whole Foods next to the apartment he and Megan are renting in Philly. It’s 75 degrees out, but he’s decided it’s fall, so he’s wearing socks with Birkenstocks, thick sweatpants, a long sleeve wool shirt, and a Carhart vest.

“I call his style, ‘rich hobo,’” Green Bay Packers tight end Martellus Bennett will tell me on the phone a few days later. He played with Long in New England and the two became very close. Bennett describes their connection as “cerebral.”

“He’d walk into the locker room and I’d be like, ‘Nice jacket, but those sweats are trash, and those Birks gotta go,’” Bennett says. “But he has to wear socks because his toes are gross. I love his style, he always makes me feel okay to dress the way I dress. We both just didn’t care. He’s like a rich bum. Just look at him.”

The rich bum is currently looking at a wall of healthy-looking drinks. He picks up a Maple Water and puts it in his basket. I ask what Maple Water is. He’s not totally sure, but it’s probably just water with maple in it, and he says it’s good. I ask if he worries about getting recognized when he goes out in public.

“Nah,” he says. “I haven’t been in Philly long enough. And the great thing about being a football player is you don’t get a ton of facetime. You always have a helmet on.”

Long also grew up around fame. It’s not something new he’s had to adjust to.

“It’s too hot for the hot bar,” he says, waving his hand in the direction of the steam trays of chicken and tofu.

He then proceeds to wander up and down each aisle. I lose him at one point, which is hard to do, because he’s 6’3” and weighs 276 pounds. His arms are the size of a normal human’s neck. He has wide eyes, a square jaw, and broad, decisive shoulders. He could pass for a Viking, if Vikings had tattoos that said VIRGINIA; he has a full sleeve on one arm and a half on the other that will soon become full. Tattoos, he says, are addicting.

“He shows us as black players in the NFL that he gets it. He’s not turning a blind eye.” — Martellus Bennett

Long scoops some peanuts and raisins out of a bulk bin. If he occasionally acts like a teenager, he consistently eats like one (or at least a somewhat health conscious one). Over the next three hours, I’ll watch him eat a bowl of cereal, a protein bar, a piece of Ezekiel bread with peanut butter, a chicken breast, an entire bag of trail mix, a grapefruit, more trail mix, all of these peanuts and raisins, and another protein bar.

“He’s a total meat,” Diane will say about her son when I call her tomorrow. Long credits his parents — who’ve been involved with the Boys and Girls Club of Charlottesville for a long time — for teaching him and his brothers the importance of giving back.

“Did he clean his truck when you were there?” Diane asks.

I tell her I don’t know if he cleaned it, but that it was very neat.

“I'll tell you what,” she says. “That’s probably the one inauthentic thing you saw about him. Because usually, when you get in that truck, there’s piles of clothing and paperwork. He looks like he lives out of his car. He probably cleaned it for you.”

About an hour after the Whole Foods excursion, Long is sitting in a plush room off of the lobby of his apartment. He just called in to Ryan Russillo’s radio show, and we can’t go back upstairs because Megan doesn’t want us to wake their 18-month-old son, Waylon. We have to get out of this room, though, because the sun is beating directly in and Long is sweating through his wool shirt.

“You wanna play pool?” Long asks.

I say sure, so we head to the lobby, where there’s a pool table that no one ever uses. We’re playing best of five. Long breaks, then sinks the eight ball a few turns later. I win. I somehow manage to win the next game, too, on my own merit, which shocks both of us.

Suddenly, he realizes there's a chance he could actually lose this thing. His eyes narrow and he starts enforcing obscure rules. He wants to raise the stakes, so we bet that I have to publicize who loses in this article.

Long was the No. 2 draft pick out of UVA and a fierce competitor during his six “miserable” seasons with the Rams. He was, at one point, one of the best defensive ends in the league, but the team consistently sucked, and he suffered back-to-back, season-ending injuries in 2014 and 2015. When then-Rams coach Jeff Fisher released him, Long reached out to Bill Belichick and the Patriots. New England wasn’t the perfect schematic fit for Long in terms of defense, but he just wanted to win, so Belichick said he’d find something for him to do.

Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images

Chris Long won a Super Bowl during his one season with the New England Patriots.

Last season wasn’t ideal from an individual standpoint — he was only on the field for 65 percent of the snaps — but it culminated in a remarkable Super Bowl win. And it gave him some of his closest friends; he still talks often to Bennett, Devin McCourty, Julian Edelman, and Rob Ninkovich often. That team had something special.

Still, he can’t get rid of the devil on his shoulder whispering that he wasted his prime with St. Louis, a team that was once a single fake punt away from going 0-16. He decided not to resign with the Pats because, while a championship was nice, he’s still acutely aware that he won as a role player. He loved team success, but his individual ambition was still unfulfilled.

“My career’s been all over the map, and I think players struggle with what’s their legacy,” Long says. “I haven’t been a superstar, but you can still think about your average-ass legacy. What’s kept me in the game is trying to leave on my terms. This has probably happened to so many players, and I probably won’t be able to accomplish it. But I want to leave playing at a high level. And using the game. I don’t want to let the game use me.”

Long felt that the Eagle’s defense was a better fit for him, and his intuition that they’d exceed expectations has turned out to be correct. With only one loss, Philadelphia has the best record in the league as of Week 7. And while he isn’t on the field more than he was in New England — he’s playing just 45% of snaps this year — he has two sacks so far and seems happy with his role. He also knows that as an active player, he has a bigger platform to raise money and speak out than he would if he retired.

Long sinks a shot, rubs his arm. He’s still sore from the Thursday game against the Panthers, which was almost a week ago. When he was recovering from surgery in 2014, he’d sit on the sidelines and watch huge guys crash into each other, thinking, I do this? He hasn’t been diagnosed with any concussions, but he worries about how CTE manifests itself. He also knows it’s too late to reverse any damage.

“And what’s me taking a knee in response to Trump? That’s not what this is about. He can’t make me kneel or stand.” — Chris Long

“Something I worry about more than that is the void that football will leave when I’m done playing,” he says. “You’ve been doing something your whole life, and then it’s over. You’re approaching your middle age. My friends back home have settled in. When I stop playing, I’m going to be the one who’s like, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

Long wins the fourth game to tie us up, 2-2. He keeps getting interrupted by the phone calls, FaceTimes, and texts from other players (including one from Edelman that just says “so tight”) as Pledge 10 gains traction.

“I think he’s one of the most genuine guys you could be around, especially off the field,” Hayes tells me. “Ninety percent of the guys you play football with, you don’t talk to after that. Chris and I haven’t played together the last couple years, but we’ve never left each other. He was my partner in crime when it came to pranks, and we both love competition. I tried to push him every day, and he did the same for me. He’s more of a brother than even a friend.”

Long breaks to start the fifth game, then goes on a roll, putting away most of his stripes for an early lead. He eyes up the cue ball, aiming for the striped No. 10, but he judges the angle wrong and sinks the eight ball again. I win.

We go back up to Long’s apartment after playing pool. Waylon has woken up, and is very busy putting wooden pieces of mail into his wooden toy mailbox. He’s a spunky kid with a mullet, which Long thinks is hilarious (he called him a young Mike Gundy on Instagram, in reference to the mulleted head coach of Oklahoma State). Megan gives Long a hard time for losing to me while she gets ready to take Waylon to the park.

Nicole Woodie, who used to run community outreach for the Rams until Long hired her to run his foundation, showed up at the apartment a few minutes ago. She sits on the couch replying to emails. Media requests have been pouring in since Pledge 10 went live.

“Someone from The Ellen Show just emailed me,” Long says, sprawled out on the coach and overflowing onto the ottoman. “They want me to come on. I’m gonna tell them no.”

“Chris, are you crazy?!” Woodie says. “You can’t turn down Ellen! Think of the moms!”

“Hmm,” Long says. “I don’t know. Would we reach people we wouldn’t reach through the sports media stuff we’re already doing?”

“Yes!” Woodie practically cries. “It's a totally different demographic! And Ellen usually does something like gives a big check. Come on, you have to do this.”

Long reluctantly agrees.

“His thing is that he’s not trying to bring attention to himself,” Bennett tells me. “He's trying to bring attention to the cause. That's noble, because a lot of people try to make it about themselves. He's trying to spread a message. He’s like, ‘Nah, I’m a part of this fight, but these [black players] are the generals. He wants to put the generals out there, guys who are more adept to talking publicly about it instead of himself."

I’ve watched Long try to do this all day. The Eagles’ PR guy asked Long this morning if he’d do SportsCenter before the upcoming Monday Night Football game against Washington.

“Nope. Put Malcolm on,” Long told him. “Put Malc up there. He’s doing great stuff in Philly.”

On Monday night, SportsCenter will run a short segment on Long anyway. But they will have to use old footage, random photos they dug up, and quotes from one of Long’s statements.

“How do you support guys like Malcolm without hijacking the situation?” Long wonders. “And then how do you interject your opinion without making it seem like you know these issues better than the people dealing with them? That’s a thin line you gotta walk.”

Bennett thinks Long is managing to walk it.

"You go through the league,” Bennett says, “and not many white players are actually saying things like Chris does. When he does, it goes bigger than just a black player saying it. He shows us as black players in the NFL that he gets it. He’s not turning a blind eye. When white players stay quiet, I’m like, I know you see the struggle, I know you see what’s going on. You play with me. We're examples of how people can get along and come from different backgrounds to work toward the same common goal. But when I speak on things that matter like this, and you turn your head, it’s like you think you can wash it away.

“Chris has always been real about it,” Bennett continues. “We'll have a conversation if he doesn’t understand something. That’s a powerful thing. And now he’s donating all of his salary to equality education? It's just like, what?!?"

Hayes appreciates Long’s involvement, too.

“When he put his hand on Malcolm’s shoulder, it showed a lot,” he says. “That one little thing he did. He knew that it could possibly cause a rift or cause a lot of conversation, but Chris, he knows what’s right, and what feels right. And he’s gotta stand up for it.”

Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images

Eagles defensive end Chris Long embraces teammate Malcolm Jenkins on October 8, 2017, during the National Anthem.

Long hates that Trump has made the method of protest the point of contention. He thinks the national anthem is the most effective way players can draw attention to social injustice in their communities, but he’s never felt comfortable taking a knee because of the work he’s done with veterans. After Trump said that team owners should fire any player who kneels, a lot of people tweeted at Long telling him it was now his duty to do so.

“A lot of people use the knee as though it were some barometer for how much you care about these issues,” Long says. “I could take a knee and not do a thing off the field — and I’m not alluding to anybody doing this, I’m just saying — and it would be worthless. And what’s me taking a knee in response to Trump? That’s not what this is about. He can’t make me kneel or stand.”

Long picks up Waylon and gives him a raspberry on his stomach, then goes to find a shirt that doesn’t have a picture of the band The Highwaymen on it. He comes back out wearing a corduroy button-down that Megan bought him yesterday. He almost walks out the door with the tag still on.

On Wednesday night, after his speech, Long spends time with the Summer Search kids in the cafeteria. He takes pictures, posts a video to his Instagram story, and then does the requisite press conference before thanking McKinney, the director of the program. On the drive home, he talks about how jazzed he is that he got to meet some kids his donations will benefit.

“Before somebody’s president, or a hero in society, or somebody who invents something, they were sitting in a classroom,” he says. “You have no fucking clue who that person’s gonna be, who sets that whole thing in motion that alters the path of a city. Programs like this tell kids, ‘You matter. You fuckin’ matter, man.’”

I ask Long if he liked high school, and instead of answering, he asks me if I liked high school. He keeps flipping the script like this — who would I profile if I could pick five people to write about? What’s been my biggest mistake in an article? What’s been my most disastrous tweet? (All of them, I tell him.) He might be testing the waters; he’s mentioned that he might want to have a podcast, or try writing, once he retires.

He’d be good at getting people to talk; I’m five minutes into a story about the time I almost got suspended before I remember he's supposed to be telling me things like this. I ask him the question again.

No, he says after a beat, he didn’t especially like high school. He thinks he squandered it. He loves his friends from Charlottesville, but he wonders what his life would’ve been like if he hadn't gone to college in the same town he grew up in. He’s grateful for football, but wonders what it would’ve been like to find a passion off the field, something that didn't require Toradol shots to the ankle. That wouldn’t be over before he’s 35. That he’d be sure could fill the void. He never graduated from UVA and still wants to get his degree. He wishes he could've lived two different lives at once.

“I don’t know if you were like this,” he says quietly, staring ahead. “But when I turned 18, I got so sad. I was like, man, I just want it all to slow down. I kept thinking how I’d be 30 soon, how we're running out of time. I’m always thinking 12 years ahead.”

Long is motivated by an adolescent invincibility and stubbornness, but guided by an old soul’s understanding that life is short. He’s at once the teenager still doing “dumb shit,” and a grown man looking 12, 20, 50 years into the future.

It’s this duality that allows him to believe two things can be true at once. He's convinced he can still have his best season yet, but knows time is working against him. He knows about the risks of CTE and the fragility of bones and tendons, but puts his brain and joints on the line each week. He’s squirmy in the spotlight, but knows he needs it to make the biggest difference he can.

“You’re looking to catch him in the lie. And you won’t. It’s just like, why bother?” — Scott Van Pelt

The path of least resistance for Long would’ve been to retire after winning a Super Bowl and shut the hell up. Instead, he signed with a new team and dove into the thorniest political issues facing the league. And now he's doing it for free, at potentially huge physical cost.

“Charity is one of the coolest parts of being a football player,” Long had said on night before the launch of Pledge 10. “I’m really not bullshitting you, I really do care about what we do. I would totally resent the idea that I just do this shit for no reason.”

He sounded desperate to make me believe him; I could almost see his brain spinning. I asked him if he’s ever anxious.

“Yeah,” he said. “I am. And I’m trying to control the narrative in a positive way. I want to make sure I’m not misunderstood. I hate being misunderstood.”

Long has this recurring dream where he’s going to jail for life. Because no matter how hard he tries, the narrative is out of his control. Thanks to social media, he hears people who accuse him of having a white savior complex, or of being an entitled millionaire trying to stay relevant. He can see when people call him a libtard, a snowflake, unpatriotic, tell him to stick to sports. It drives him nuts when people insult his intelligence, and it’s the reason he fires back — the way he did when people criticized him for not going to the White House after the Super Bowl. Or the way he will in a few days when a conservative columnist (whose recent columns include “Hollywood has too little masculinity, not too much”) for the Bucks County Courier Times writes that Long “is a good example of the odious trend of virtue signaling.”

There will always be naysayers, so what can he do? Find a place — both on and off the field — where he can be useful, try his hardest to do what he believes is the right thing, and hope to cement a legacy he’s proud of.

“You can’t believe this guy is as good as he is,” ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt says. He’s admires Long and gave $10,000 to Pledge 10. “You’re looking for reasons for him not to be great, or good, or with his heart in the right place. You’re looking to catch him in the lie. And you won’t. It’s just like, why bother? Why not just accept that this is someone whose heart really is where it appears to be, and just be happy that exists? As opposed to trying to figure out how, or being an accountant for ways he could better. What a waste of time.”

Long’s mother says something similar.

“It almost sounds like a Disney movie,” Diane tells me. “It’s like he’s a weird, dark Disney movie. Dark because the subjects are more serious, but really, he’s just a good soul trying to do good.”

Having successfully navigated back from the high school, Long pulls up to the parking garage of his building and turns his car off in the middle of the road. I’m confused at first, but then realize the fob that opens the gate is attached to his keys. Which means he has to take them out of the ignition. He does, then waves them in front of the security pad to open the door.

“Chris,” I say, “There’s gotta be an easier way to do this.”

“Yeah,” he says grinning. “I know.”

Then he puts the key in the ignition, turns the car back on, and floors it up the ramp.