#she sees me in braids and suddenly she wants me to wear jt everywhere

[rugretti]

.

[malcolmwhitly-bright]

“I don’t like the idea of you walking down the streets all alone.” I’d love to see Gil say this to Malcolm, but Mal doesn’t listen & goes out anyways and gets WHUMPPEDD🤍

1. I’m so sorry this took so long

2. Don’t hate me for what you’re about to head. You said whump, didn’t say nothing about any comfort tho

Dani gets pregnant. A night of fun turned into her problem. So she sits in her apartment and sobs. The bathroom tile is cold and her bare legs freeze. Her hair is a mess. She can’t make spaghetti without making way too much. She doesn’t know how to braid and every time she opens a Capri sun she stabs the straw completely through it.

“Uhhh.” She doesn’t know why but she calls Malcolm. He picks up the phone with a groan and that’s something she’s learned about him recently. He’s up all night, she can almost always talk to him at any point during the night but if she wants to then Malcolm will answer just not conventionally. “Mmmmm?” He doesn’t know how to talk to people after a certain hour in the night (not that he knows how to during regular hours either).

She sighs,” I’m pregnant.”

Malcolm chokes. She’s not sure what he’s doing but all the noises in the background stops. Nothing but silence over the line as Malcolm processes the news he’s just been given. “Huh,” he clears his throat. “You know, all the times I dreamt about news like this I always thought it would come from a stranger over the phone. You know?” He hums,” or, you know, it would at least come from someone I had slept with.”

Dani rolls her eyes. She tosses the test down on the floor, letting it clatter until it slides against the toilet. She hears Malcolm move over the phone, not thinking anything about it until she hears him pick up his keys. “What’re you doing?” She’s suddenly self-conscious about calling him. He’s not the father. Why did she call him? He can’t-

“Uhm,” Malcolm climbs into his car, she can hear the door shut. “I was gonna hit the corner shop. Pick up some ice cream.” 

Dani’s eyebrows pinch in confusion.

“Mint chocolate chip is still your favorite, right?” The car stops and she leans against the toilet seat. She can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness. This is why she called him. “Oh, or I could get those sandwiches- Now I’m hungry. I’m never hungry.”

Dani smiles. Her problems melting away. She can figure this out. It’s a baby. Nothing can ever compare to dealing with Malcolm Bright. “I would really appreciate the ice cream.”

She can hear his smile,” trust me, I know.” After a moment he adds,” if I get chicken nuggets do you want to spl-”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t even let me finish, Dani.”

She rolls her eyes. She knows exactly what he was going to say. Her + Him + a 20 piece chicken nugget meal from McDonald’s. He’ll order a large iced tea, drink half on the ride over, and give her the rest. “I’ll see you when you get here.” She looks down at the test,” and… Thank you, Malcolm. For-For coming.”

Malcolm chuckles,” anytime, you know that.”

For some reason, he really means that.

“Stop looking at my vagina Bright!”

Malcolm shakes his head, eyes huge. His hand is holding hers and he’s as pale as a ghost. As far as the nurses know he’s the dad. It was the only way Gil could get him back and Gil had to get Malcolm back there. Dani’s broken sobs, ‘I can’t do this! I can’t!’ were breaking his heart and Gil knew the only person who could help her was sitting in the waiting room just as much as a mess.

Malcolm glances back down, each time a doctor or nurse shouts his eyes look. He can’t help it. “I’m not trying to,” he defends himself, wincing when her hand tightens around his. “Her head is huge Dani and she’s got so much hair.”

Dani screams, pushing as the nurse asks her to. 

“Dad?” The doctor stands, a ball of wiggling, crying baby in his hands. “Wanna cut the cord?”

Malcolm looks at Dani, eyes still huge and he has no idea what to do. 

Dani’s sobbing too. Utterly exhausted. She nods her head and he knows she wants him to. It’s an unasked, unsaid invitation into her and her child’s life.

“She’s got so much hair,” Malcolm’s afraid to touch her. He can’t tear his eyes away though. The parenting books didn’t say anything about all the hair. Every baby he’d ever seen was bald. Then again, Dani has very thick curly hair so maybe it’s genetics. Would that mean babies with bald dads aren’t born with hair? He opens his mouth to ask but she cuts him off.

“Will you be her GodFather?”

Malcolm freezes. Emotions flooding his brain. People don’t trust him things let alone their children. He breaks mugs all the time, his hands are just too shaky. He forgets to eat and he’s a hazard to himself. 

“You don’t have to-”

“Dani,” Malcolm smiles sadly down at her. “I would love nothing more.” He reaches down and squeezes her hand,” I was just surprised you ask.”

Dani squeezes his hand back. She looks down at the baby in her arms, sleeping peacefully. Dani knows, without a doubt in her mind, that she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Malcolm. He’s been her rock. 

Nights full of ugly sobs as she cries through crappy romcoms. Tucking her cold toes under his thighs on the couch. Morning sickness. Giving up coffee for three months when she told him the scent made her want to vomit. Going out to get weird foods. Holding her hand through labor.

She smiles up at him,” you’re my best friend, Malcolm. Who else would I ask?” 

The room suddenly fills with people. JT, his wife, Gil, and Edrisa. They’ve got balloons and flowers. Malcolm steps away from the bed. Allows them their moment but Dani doesn’t miss the way his eyes track the baby, never leaving her tiny body no matter who is holding her.

He’s there though. 

For everything.

“Mallory does not like peas,” he informs her, weird-looking green vomit on his shirt.

-

“Tell your mommy what you just called me,” he holds her up under her arms, acting angry as Mallory babbles some nonsense to Dani. 

-

“No, no,” he says from her living room. Mallory out on the carpet in front of him. “Say, Malcolm. Malcolm?” Mallory screeches, throwing a block against another block. She offers him a ‘mamama!’ He groans.

-

“Yeah!” He’s right beside Dani, arms raised in the air in triumph. All three of them shouting in glee, Mallory falling back on her little butt. “I can’t believe it!” He declares,” she took her first steps!”

-

“These are big girl underwear,” he shows her the carebears on them. “If you don’t have an accident in your pull-up, I’ll let you wear them.” He smiles back at Mallory’s excited grin,” I’ll buy you all the big girl underwear you want. Just no more accidents.”

-

“I’ll squeeze him tight,” Malcolm squeezes the stuffed bear tight to his chest. Mr. Bear, he notes because Mallory has named all her stuffed animals but this one is special. He gave it to her and she has to take him everywhere. “Now,” he lays the stuffed bear beside her,” you’ll have all the Malcolm hugs you’ll ever need. Okay?” She nods and he places a kiss on her forehead,” okay, goodnight, Mal.”

-

“You’re okay,” he holds her close to his chest. She hiccups miserably, her skinned knee aching. “You know what happens now?” She shakes her head, not even bothering to pull her head out of his shoulder. “You have to try again. Get back up on your bike.” She pulls back to object and he cups her cheeks in his hand,” I’ll be right here, Mallory. I promise.”

Until one night, insomnia gets the best of him.

“I don’t like the idea of you walking down the streets all alone.”

He lays in the frigid cold. His own blood a puddle around his waist. Gil was always nagging about Malcolm’s late-night walks. ‘There’s safety in numbers’, that was Gil’s philosophy. Recently, Gil dropped his consistent reminders. Malcolm was always with Dani and Mallory though. That kid wears him down, he’s dead on his feet most nights.

Except, Dani took today off and treated Mallory to a day at the museum. Leaving Malcolm to sort out his own plans for the day. Hince the need for a mid-night walk.

“Give me your money” turned into a sharp knife too quickly. Malcolm’s trembling hands unable to produce any money. Malcolm’s hands stained with his own blood.

He tries to fight it, at first. His body numbing to the pain, his eyes drifting shut. He promised to take Mallory to the dentist for Dani tomorrow. Promised Mallory a special surprise afterward. It’s too much. The cold, the pain. 

There was a point in his life he imagined death so much it seemed like an old friend. A means to an awful life, an escape. In its grasp now, he’s afraid. He wants to stay. To fulfill his promises. He wants more time. 

He needs more time.

Hadn’t realized what he has until it’s slipping through his fingertips.

“No!” It’s Gil who gets the call. Who holds Dani as she sobs, openly and freely. She curses him and she shouts at nothing and calls it Malcolm. He’s hurt them all, reckless and stupid until the end.

“You can’t fix me, Dani.” Years ago, now. On her couch, a tub mint chocolate chip ice cream between them. Her stomach large with her unborn child in it. His eyes heavy, voice soft. “I’m not who you think I am.” So unsure, convinced he was unfit. He could never help her, not with a baby.

Except, he did. Mallory’s father is out of the picture but she always had Malcolm. They both did.

“Baby-” Dani squats down in front of Mallory. Cupping her daughter’s cheek and praying that she can find the right words to make her understand. To explain that Malcolm’s not coming back. “You love Mr. Bear.” Dani rubs the old bear’s ears thoughtfully. Remember the eagerness Malcolm had for her and Mallory. In life and in general. 

Mallory nods her understanding, her own hand joining in her mother’s soft toying of the bear’s ear. She does love Mr. Bear. From the moment Malcolm gave her him he’s gone everywhere with her. Every day of Mallory’s life Malcolm has been there. Picking her up from school while Dani hunts bad guys. Taking her for ice cream just because. Cuddling on the couch for Saturday movie nights. Buying her popcorn and candy at the movies even when Dani insists Mallory doesn’t need both.

Those things are never going to happen again.

Dani brushes a strand of her daughter’s hair behind her ear,” baby. Do you remember what we talked about with Grandpa Gil?” Death is permanent. Her daughter doesn’t understand permanent. 

Dani can sympathize with that. There’s a part of her that keeps waiting for Malcolm to show up and give her some crappy excuse. Blame it on some vaguely disguised daddy issue. To hug her. She already misses his hugs. The scent of his cologne in a room. Him falling asleep on the couch when she’s trying to talk to him. 

“If you put Mr. Bear with Malcolm,” tears prick her eyes. She shouldn’t have to explain this to her daughter. “You’ll never see him again.” A tear slides down her cheek,” either of them.” Dani sniffles and wipes her cheek of the tear. She smiles sadly,” and Mr. Bear is your best friend. You don’t want to lose him.”

Mallory looks puzzled and Dani’s hoping that she can grasp what being said. After a moment, Mallory shakes her head, disagreeing. “No mommy,” she says softly,” Malcolm is my best friend.” She frowns,” and Malcolm is scared of the dark. So, I want to give him Mr. Bear so he won’t be so scared.”

“Baby-”

Mallory hugs Mr. Bear tight to her chest. Squeezing him with all her might. She offers Dani the bear,” you have to charge him up with hugs, mommy.”

Dani cries openly as she clutches that stupid bear to her chest. 

Mallory smiles proudly,” good job! Now Malcolm will have your hugs too.”

Dani chokes on a sob but she manages a watery smile,” that’s right, baby.”

Mallory stands for a long time, just looking down at her bear. She squeezes her mother’s hand,” I’m gonna miss him, mommy.”

Dani stands numbly. The wind blowing straight through her coat. If Malcolm were here, her Malcolm, he’d wrap an arm around her. Produce a scarf from seemingly nowhere. Something that somehow makes this impossible moment okay. Bearable. “Me too.”