#ill have comments like ure finally going out in just a shirt finally

[rugretti]

.

[megamindsecretlair]

Ur MM fic was soooo good!!! Pls write more of him I beg😭🫶🏾

A/N: no need to beg, you know I got you anon! Make sure to show some love to @planetblaque and @soft-persephone for their MM fics!

Leaving Me Sleepless

Pairing: Neighbor!Mother's Milk x Neighbor!Black!Fem!reader/plus size reader

Warnings: 18+ only. MINORS DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Age gap, more so late 20s/early 30s, but can be read however. Dom Mother's Milk, Cursing, PIV, SMUT, FLUFF, fingering (fem receiving), oral (male and female receiving), D/s elements, Sorry if I missed others. Season 1 MM, no spoilers for the show. Divorced MM. Brat reader. Corruption kink if you squint. Possession Kink. Size kink.

Summary: You were ready to start a new chapter of your life, moving into your first house all by your lonesome. Done with waiting on others to get their lives together, you were finally pursuing the life you wanted. You had everything planned, until you didn’t. 

Marvin comes to your rescue, turning a stressful day into something sweet and full of laughs. An easy friendship builds between you. Only you can’t wait any longer to see if this is one sided. You decide to start toying with Marvin, just to see how long it would take him to break.

AO3 Link

Word count: 10,515k

A/N: I don't know what it is about this man. But enjoy my brainrot! Love him dowwwnnn. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, reblog, or unhinged ask.

It wasn’t your intention to toy with your hot neighbor, Marvin. When you moved in, you were prepared to do it all yourself. You got a moving company to help you pack up your shit from your ex-boyfriend’s house. You successfully transferred your utilities to your new place, leaving that broke motherfucker with no power for a weekend. You were on top of it. 

Okay, so not everything was so smooth. You got a flat tire on the freeway, the moving van wrote down your address wrong, and when you arrived at your new place, no moving truck to be found, you had a breakdown about it. To be fair, it was a hard and emotional day. This was the first time you bought a house, did it by yourself, and you were nervous as hell.

Your family wasn’t the most supportive. They kept asking you if you were sure you were ready and what were you going to do with that big house to yourself? As if finally having some alone time and gaining safety for the first time in your life was a bad thing. So not having the moving truck at your new place was like an ill omen. 

You started to doubt yourself. What would you do with a house to yourself? You were responsible for everything now. It was on you to take the trash out, keep up with the lawn and maintenance, cook meals, wash your sheets. The pressure of your decision crushed you to pieces until the dam broke and the tears were falling like crazy.

You hadn’t called the moving truck just yet. You needed time to break down before you pulled yourself together. You were a strong, independent woman and you were going to be okay. Like you always were. 

Marvin was just getting home from wherever he spent his time and saw you in front of your new place, standing on the curb and trying hard to hide your crying. You only had a few bags in your car, essential things you knew you didn’t trust with the movers. Smart thinking, but it wasn’t a bed. It wasn’t cookware. It wasn’t anything you needed to have a successful first day in your new place. The sun was losing its heat, traveling across the sky like the moon was on its heels. 

Marvin called out to you, walking up like he would single-handedly solve all of your problems. He wore a white T-shirt with the Wu Tang symbol on it. Medium wash jeans and white sneakers. He wore a gold chain as well, complimenting the golden hue of his skin. 

He also had a thick beard on his beautiful face. Neat and well-trimmed. But his eyes were the kindest you’d ever seen. In just a few minutes, it’d be easy to fall into the brown depths and never come up for air. 

You swiped at your eyes and smiled at him. “I’m okay, I’m fine!” You said, waving him off. Why was it that fine ass men always popped out when you looked like hell? You were currently wearing raggedy blue sweats with mysterious stains all over, some from bleach, paint, or whatever other dirty job needed done. Your lavender shirt had seen better days, the graphic on it cracked and nearly faded away. Your tennis shoes were peeling in one corner, but these were your most comfortable and didn’t want to give them up.

And ugh, your hair. You looked tore up from the floor up and you did not need your neighbor meeting you like this. Why couldn’t he catch you on your way out to the club or out to eat with your friends? You had a new, gorgeous leopard print dress in your moving van, with sexy three hoop gold earrings that were calling your name. Fuck me heels that made your ass look amazing. Why couldn’t he meet you then?

“Is everything alright? Are you sure?” He asked. 

God, that voice. You smiled and nodded, clutching your phone for dear life. He needed to move away, now. You wish the neighbors were out when you were scoping the house. If you knew he looked like that, you would have never shown up like this. The embarrassment was killing you. 

“I’m okay, Mr…?” You asked.

He smiled. “Call me Marvin, please,” he said. 

You introduced yourself. Sexy name matching a sexy man. He was so damn broad and thick. Just how you liked ‘em. But no, no, you promised yourself to focus on you right now. On getting this house set up exactly how you liked it. You weren’t going to have a traditional housewarming party. You weren’t going to invite all that negative energy into your new place. This new period in your life was about you, getting your mental stronger, your life together. Focus on your goals and finally getting started on your lifelong dreams. Nowhere in that plan you dreamt up with your best friend did it include a man. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can help with?” He asked. He sounded and looked so sincere, that your shoulders slumped and you sighed, looking down the street like it would magically conjure the moving truck. 

“It’s silly,” you said and rolled your eyes, waving away his concern. 

Marvin smiled and tilted his head. “Try me. You’d be doing me a favor actually. I only had plans to go inside, grab a beer, and pig out. You’d be saving me from getting fat and lazy,” he said, patting his stomach. That smile.

You couldn’t help but giggle, checking him out. And letting him know that you were checking him out. “There’s no chance in hell you’d end up fat and lazy,” you told him. He chuckled and rubbed his beard, his thumb swiping at the corner of his mouth. 

“You never know. These things add up. And you’re changing the subject,” he said. 

You sighed and suppressed a smile. Fine. Fine. You broke down and told him the whole ordeal. That you were moving in and waiting for your truck. Marvin cursed softly, excusing his words, and asked for the number to the movers. 

He used his own phone to call them, getting in their asses about taking advantage of you. They knew exactly where your house was and if they weren’t here in thirty minutes, giving you a steep discount for their actions, then he’d report they ass on their website, on social media, and anyone else who’d listen. 

Your mouth dropped listening to him. He was in complete control, not taking an ounce of slack from the movers. All of your interactions with them had been cordial, but there were enough times where you thought you were on them too much. You were trying to escape your ex’s house before he came home. You felt like a screaming harpy, telling them to move their ass. 

A little bass from a man and suddenly they could hop to. Fucking pigs. When Marvin was done, he smiled. “There, they’ll haul ass now. I’m sorry they did that to you,” he said.

You waved him off. “No way, you’re my hero. I would’ve been arguing for an hour to get them to show up with enough daylight to put things where I need,” you said. The relief you felt was almost indescribable. All thanks to a friendly neighbor. With no wedding ring, you might’ve observed.

“You wanna come inside and wait? I mostly have beer, but maybe some juice? Water?” He asked.

You bit your lip, feeling awkward and gross but he was just so helpful. You didn’t want to give that up just yet. “Are you sure I wouldn’t be a bother?” You asked.

“I promise,” he said. 

You nodded. Well, fuck it. You followed him to his place, stepping inside his place hoping for the best. You were blown away actually. His place smelled amazing, light like lemon and something breezy or tropical. 

The place was spotless, not a cushion out of place. His living room was nice and spacious, with a thick rug underneath the couch and coffee table. You sat down while Marvin went to grab you some water. 

Marvin asked you questions about yourself and you asked him questions about him. You found out he was divorced, amicably, and they shared a beautiful daughter together. He worked with inner city youth at a detention center, keeping knuckleheads from making dumb ass mistakes. 

The more he talked, the more you started to see a clearer picture of him. He paid extra care to cleanliness letting you know that he’d never, ever tolerate being in your place. You weren’t a slob, but you weren’t Johnny on the spot either. Sometimes dishes piled up or you lounged in bed all day. You could already see and hear the arguments, the disgusted looks, the pot shots. 

You subtly sighed. Too bad. He’d make someone a fine ass husband one day. While you talked, the moving van showed up in record time. You tried saying bye to Marvin, but he insisted on staying to make sure the movers didn’t try to get over on you again.

Thanks to Marvin, the movers moved the heavy shit where it needed to go and brought your boxes to the rooms they were assigned to. You had more than enough time to unpack what you needed tonight, clean out the bathtub and kitchen, so that you could bathe in your new place and cook in your new place. 

You offered to cook something for Marvin, but he excused himself, saying he took up enough of your time. He hoped you had a good night and now that you were neighbors, he told you not to be a stranger. He was like a buff fairy godmother and you couldn’t stop thanking him as he left.

“No thanks, necessary. I’m just glad I was around. Did you get a chance to change the locks yet?” He asked.

You shook your head. You hadn’t even thought to do so. “If you buy some new locks, I can install them for you. Get some with a longer latch,” he said.

You stared at him blankly with an adorable smile on your face. “And that means…?” You asked. 

Marvin chuckled. “If you like, I’m free tomorrow and we can go to the store. Get some things to make sure you’re safe in here,” he said. He stood in the doorway, framed by a darkening sky. The white shirt glowed against his skin. He looked like an angel. Or maybe that was just your thinking because of how incredible he was. 

“I’ve taken up enough of your weekend,” you said, looking down and playing with invisible lint by the door. 

Marvin waited until you looked back at him to smile. “You can’t be a bother if I volunteer. Here, take my number, and if you need anything, just call or text. No matter the day or time,” he said. 

You took his number and gave him yours, giggling to yourself. “You don’t like me being here all by my lonesome, do you?” You asked.

He chuckled and nodded. “I know, I sound like an old-fashioned old man. You can absolutely take care of yourself. But I’m around, okay?” He asked.

You nodded, thanked him again, and finally let him leave your stoop. You closed and locked the door behind you, leaning back against it, and squealed to yourself. He was an impossible dream. An angel. A hero. Your savior. You’d still be outside crying your eyes out while the movers hemmed and hawed about your most precious possessions. 

You daydreamed for a few minutes, letting the crush finally take over. There may never be a future, but he was sweet. And fun. And so caring it hurt. 

You threw on some tunes and started dancing around your space, getting the essentials cleaned up that day. You started in the bathroom, the one place you refused to let get dirty. First, because it grossed you out and second, because you liked taking relaxing baths with candles and music. 

And so on it went. Marvin did take you to the hardware store the next day, being patient with you and explaining why you needed this or that. Some of the items you genuinely did know about, but he was so adorable explaining things to you. He was patient, never acted put out, and never made you feel dumb for asking so many questions.

Perhaps it was then that it all started. Acting ditzy whenever he came around. Not enough to be obvious. But just so helpless unless he swooped to the rescue. And you always thanked him by calling him your hero, heaping praises on him, and making sure to grip his thick biceps and looking into his eyes as you expressed your gratitude.

As the weeks and months passed, you fell into an easy friendship with him. Your work hours aligned with his, sometimes arriving home at the exact same moment. Intending to just catch up for a few minutes, there were times you almost got sick standing outside in the cold air with him talking. 

If he “happened” to make extra food, he made sure to bring it over and he promised that you were doing him the favor. If you “happened” to make extra food, you returned the sweet gesture, passing the same dishware back and forth. 

You always texted first to make sure he didn’t have company. One day, he laughed riotously and told you that he wasn’t seeing anyone. And his friends weren’t the “come over and hang out” type. 

“And you talk about me being in a house all by myself,” you scolded him playfully, and made sure to drop by just because. You told yourself that you were just being harmless, just making sure to repay him for being so sweet to you as a neighbor. 

You weren’t sure when the teasing started. Whenever you talked to Marvin, it seemed like you were having a different conversation with your bodies. He made you warm all over. His presence and his smell already drew you in. But his protective nature and sense of humor made sure you were downright smitten.

You touched his arm or hand whenever you could. He’d find ways to step closer, or place his hand on the small of your back as he moved around you in the kitchen. Whenever you’d join him on the couch watching sports, you began to sit closer and closer together, thighs pressed together, and bumping shoulders. 

But he never picked up on your hints. You weren’t even sure what kind of hints you were throwing out there so you couldn’t entirely blame him. You had a feeling that he just wouldn’t accept your place. It was why you were usually at his place and not the other way around. Did you want him to kiss you? Grab you? Snatch you up? 

There were plenty of times you daydreamed about having your wicked way with him. What he’d look like when he let himself loose and grabbed you like he didn’t want to let go. Maybe he wouldn’t be into someone younger? 

There were quite a few years separating you, but hell. The dating pool was ass nowadays. These men acted like they had no home training. Like they thought the best jewelry, cars, and clothes were enough to snare a woman but their dick game was just as terrible. A bunch of pretty packaging on trash.

Marvin looked like he’d fuck well. He moved precisely, taking care to make himself as un-intimidating as possible, as welcoming as possible. Sometimes you stared outside of your window when he got home from the gym. His dick bounced in his gray sweatpants, letting you know that he had more than enough equipment. But you were confused, lost, wondering if you just liked him because he made you feel safe when no other guy ever did. Not even your own dad.

Yeah, yeah, daddy issues. Whatever. You made sure to back away from Marvin when things sort of took a turn. You weren’t sure what was wrong with you. So it was best to back away and stop sending so many mixed signals. Besides asking Marvin to fix little things around your place. You made sure to clean up first.

One night, however, you were restless. Sleepless. You had opened your blinds in your bedroom, opening the windows as well to let in some cool air. You were unbearably horny. The porn and smut books weren’t cutting it. You threw on some sexy music, grabbed your favorite drink, and danced around your place in your panties and nothing else. Why not? You’d never done such a thing at your previous addresses, never feeling safe to do so. 

You were feeling mighty good, teasing yourself, letting the anticipation build up before you broke out your Black Noir dildo, when you turned around. Marvin had entered his own bedroom. All this time, you didn’t know your bedrooms faced each other. 

He had turned on his light, moving around his room. And the pervert in you watched. And stared. He took off the black shirt he had on, moving on to his pants. You looked away before you became too big of a pervert. But…it did give you a naughty idea. You dimmed the lights a little lower and continued dancing around your place, keeping your back turned to his window.

It may not work…but…you felt sexier. More alive. More naughty. Whether or not he actually saw something, it was enough to make you want to unplug your dildo and go to town right then and there. To imagine Marvin kissing all up and down your body, worshiping you. To get a sneak peak at the dick in his pants. You just knew he knew what to do with it. Felt it all over. 

You were lost in your daydream, you turned around to grab your drink. You looked across the way at Marvin who seemed to be spazzing out. He was windmilling, stepping backwards, and you giggled as you pretended not to notice. 

Interactions after that were…interesting. Marvin couldn’t look you in the eye after that. You’d ask and poke and prod, and he’d laugh it off, giving you some excuse about not being able to sleep. You pouted and continued to rely on him for little things. The sink wasn’t working? Call Marvin. Door was stuck? Call Marvin. 

Every time, you walked him to the door asking if there was anything you could help him with and he’d only tell you he was happy to help, bid you goodnight, and then entered his house. The little minx in you couldn’t let it go. Had to see how far you could push him and what he’d do if he snapped.

You were thoroughly in love with your sweet neighbor and you wanted to torture him right out of his pants. Your bed was against the wall, opposite the door, so your windows were on the left. From what you could puzzle out, Marvin’s bed was similar. So if you happened to lay on the bed and pleasure yourself, there would be no mistaking what you were doing. 

So you did just that. The first time, you were nervous as hell. You waited till you texted Marvin good night, that you were going to turn in early. He bid you goodnight and then you waited. Waited for him to enter his room and move around the space. All you saw was a dark shadow, but you knew that he was up here for you. Or you wished for that to be true in either case.

You had your own lights dark enough to not see anything, but dim enough to not mistake it for anything else. And you pleasured yourself with your vibrator, imagining that Marvin could see everything and was wishing it was him. You pictured him sitting in the window, rubbing his sweaty hands on his pants, trying to resist touching himself. But the urge was too strong. Dick straining against his pants. So he’d take it out just to hold it. Just to relieve some of the ache. 

But then he’d see your legs moving, your hands going in and out, rubbing across your titties, and he’d know. And he’d groan. That sexy, deep, needy rumbling like he just couldn’t help himself. He’d start slowly, just absently touching himself. Stroking himself to the image of you pleasuring yourself and knowing that he could do it better. 

“Oh god, oh god,” you whined in the empty room, soft R&B music and the low vibrator the only sounds in the room. You wished it was his heavy breathing. His moaning in your ear. Was he a moaner? Did he moan while he was deep in it? 

Your clit throbbed so you pulled the Black Noir dildo out of you and rubbed it against your clit. You moaned, breathing heavier. You pictured Marvin holding it there, torturing you. Just because he was sweet didn’t mean he couldn’t be mean sometimes, right? 

The vibrations against your clit was torture and you held it there. Your hands weren’t yours anymore. They were guided by a phantom Marvin. For all you knew, he could be fast asleep at the moment. But to you, he was right in the room with you. He was holding the dildo against your clit and commanding you to hold it. 

A dildo didn’t faze him. He knew women needed something extra to take them there. He was not intimidated by a vibrating toy when he knew his dick was everything you’d ever need. “Please,” you moaned, unable to help yourself.

Your belly twisted, clit throbbing painfully. Your thoughts were completely focused on phantom Marvin, picturing his shirt off, his powerful thighs exposed. You were no better than a man in the 18th century. A little bit of ankle and you were feral for Marvin. Overcome with thoughts of him. 

You were about to cum so you plunged the black dildo into your sopping wet pussy and dialed up the vibrator. You screamed as you came, possibly calling out his name? You weren’t sure what you were saying as you had the most powerful orgasm of your life, back bowing off of the bed, legs shaking. 

When you were done, you blinked into your dark room, staring up at the ceiling. Fuck. That was intense. And wrong. And so right, it hurt. You could learn to pick up after yourself some more, couldn’t you? Because if your fantasy was even a fraction of the real thing, you needed to fuck Marvin Milk. 

Obviously, you had to consult the Council. Your circle of close friends that you trusted to tell you the truth. To see if you were tripping or if you should pursue this thing with Marvin. 

“Girl, hell no!” Your friend, Story, exclaimed on the phone. You were currently on the phone with the Council, pleading your case. 

“If his game is anything like the pics you sent, I’m honestly surprised you not knocking boots already,” your other friend, Yalonda, said. 

“To be fair, she wanted to spend this time focused on her, not a man,” her last friend, Jayne, said.

“Right, thank you!” You said. You were currently making spaghetti, stirring the noodles and trying to gauge if they were done or not. You wanted to stop tossing noodles against the wall, but hell, how else were you supposed to tell? 

“And who said focusing on Marvin is not focusing on herself? Part of self-discovery is exploration. Need I bring up Voldemort?” Yalonda asked, earning a circle of disgusted groans.

“Chile, that man dead as far as I’m concerned,” Story said.

“Raggedy bitch,” Jayne chimed in.

You chuckled, loving your friends more and more. “I don’t think I can play with this man like that, ya’ll. He sensitive,” you said. 

There was a chorus of teeth smacking and grumbles. “But is he not grown? Like if you laid it out, would he not understand?” Story asked. 

You sighed. Would he? You’d known him plenty of months, but you hadn’t gone deeper into either of your pasts. Because he was just a neighbor, really. But a neighbor you had so much in common with. You genuinely liked spending time with him. You loved his sense of humor, loved that he was so giving. You were a homebody, preferring to be in your own space and alone, rather than snuggled up underneath someone else. You got the sense that Marvin was the same. Preferring to keep his own company.

“You know how men get in they feelings when women treat them like bitches. Like shit, we took a page out of your book, playa! We trynna get like you and now it’s a problem,” Yalonda said.

“Preach! Speak on it!” Jayne said. 

You giggled. “No one’s saying I got to marry the man. But I don’t think it’d be as casual as I’m picturing,” you said. 

“There ain’t a casual bone in your body, honey. And that’s okay! You can still focus on yourself while getting dicked down,” Jayne said. 

“But if Marvin come around talkin’ ‘bout he wants a relationship, now is she wrong or is he?” Story asked, taking the words right out of her mouth. 

On and on it went. The decision was always left up to you, but still. You valued their input and it helped you realize that you cared about Marvin. Cared about how he took care of you. You didn’t have to blow this out of proportion. You could start light. There was a possibility that Marvin would be just fine with a casual affair. He had a life, you had a life, you were both adults. 

“So what you gonna do?” Story asked. The line buzzed with bated breath from your friends. You stirred the meat, adding a teensy bit more oregano, when you sighed.

“I’m gon’ fuck that old man,” you said.

You pulled the phone away from your ear as the girls squealed, gassing you up. Reminding you that you were hot as hell and it was your divine right to fuck that old man. You giggled, now needing their help. You knew how to get guys interested, but with an older man like Marvin, you didn’t know what it would take. It was your first experience taking an older man seriously. 

Would your usual tricks work? No. With the Council’s help, you figured that you’d have to go through with torturing him out of his pants. 

You started the torture by ditching your comfortable, “let’s be friends” outfits and traded them for “Whoops, a little too tight” clothing. Lots of shorts. Lots of tank tops. Your first act was to make sure that you were outside, watering your grass, wearing short shorts and flip flops, bending over unnecessarily, waiting for Marvin.

Marvin arrived home just in time and got out of his car, his lips pressed together in disapproval. “Hey!” He called out. 

You waved to him, your shirt lifting and giving him a peek at your body. He walked up his driveway, stopping to look over at you. There was a short concrete wall separating your properties, no taller than your ankles. You sauntered over, and grinned at him, taking your hand off the trigger.

The nozzle dripped with water and you collected the drops, rubbing it into your neck and chest. “Whew! It was hot as hell today, huh? Did you make sure to stay hydrated?” You asked.

Marvin swallowed and his eyes seemed unfocused, looking down somewhere on your body. You wish you knew where. Was he an ass man? A breasts man? You needed something more from him to guide you in the right direction. 

“I should be asking you that,” he said, a smile crossing his face. 

You waved him off. “You’re too sweet to me, Marvin,” you said. 

He chuckled. “I promise I’m not,” he said. 

You engaged him in more innocent conversation, telling him about your job, and he told you about his day. You reached out and squeezed his hand. “You’re so cool for what you do, Marvin. It takes a strong man to see what you do and still show up for those kids,” you told him.

He had the most adorable look on his face. You wondered if people praised him enough. Thanked him enough for everything that he did. You let him go and grinned. “Anywho, I should let you get inside and rest,” you told him.

He looked like he wanted to tell you something, so you looked at him and tilted your head. “Have a restful evening,” he said, nodded to you, and then turned around.

You bit your lip, watching him walk away, wondering if you didn’t have to torture him that long before he caved. He looked like he was torturing himself enough. Your core heated up, picturing him being just as smitten with you. Just as in lust. If he was rubbing himself raw in the shower to images of you in his mind. 

You turned around and finished watering your lawn, heading back inside for the next phase of your torture. 

You spent the week being mysteriously busy. Marvin had slowed inviting you over so you used that time to make yourself as unavailable as possible. A little toxic, but you got yourself dressed up and took yourself out as if you were going on dates. You managed to leave sometimes, just as Marvin was arriving home. Sometimes you’d wave, sometimes you pretended not to see him.

Friday night, you waited to leave in that leopard print dress you had, fuck me heels making your ass look fantastic. You heard his car pull up, saw the lights move across your living room. You waited a beat, then exited your home.

“Hey!” Marvin called. You pretended not to hear. You tapped away on your phone, giggling and smiling at nothing, as you made your way to your car, pulling up your strapless dress. 

Marvin’s shoes crunched on your grass as he crossed your lawn, calling your name with a little more bass in his voice. You turned to him, a sweet smile on your face, and you watched him approach. 

“Got another date?” He asked. 

You bit your cheek to keep from smiling. “Marvin! You’re so sweet to worry! Yes, I’m going on another date. Do I look good?” You asked. You twirled, taking your time to show him every possible angle. 

“Dressed like that?” He asked. 

“You don’t like it?” You asked. You pouted, playing with your matching clutch bag. 

“Whoa, hey, you look amazing. I just…” he trailed off, looking at your outfit. You let him, smiling to yourself, but then cleared your throat.

“You just…?” You prompted.

“I don’t want to overstep my bounds. I just hope these men are nice to you,” he said.

You giggled. “I’m not,” you said and continued to giggle. At Marvin’s confused face, you stopped and shrugged. “Obviously, I would like a nice man. But the dating scene sucks. You should be lucky you swore it off. These people out here are animals. And I appreciate you looking out for me. But a girl’s got needs, you know?” 

“Needs?” He asked.

You nodded. “Oh yeah. All this hard work getting my place together. All the bullshit at work. I need to take the edge off too, you know,” you said. 

“So the…” he started but then stopped. 

“The what?” You asked, blinking innocently at him. 

Marvin shook his head, rubbed his beard. “I’m overstepping, I’m sorry,” he said. He smiled. “Have a great night. Let me know when you get home safe and sound, okay?” He reached out and rubbed your elbow. 

You deflated against your car, watching him walk away. What the hell was it going to take? You got into your car with a huff, all dressed up with no real destination in mind. Fuck it. You called the Council and decided to go clubbing. If you weren’t really going to fuck someone tonight, you can at least show off your outfit. Because you looked fucking amazing. 

You spent the night putting Marvin from your mind. You danced, you flirted your way to free drinks, you babysat Yalonda, poor thing never able to keep up with ya’ll. When you made it home, all the lights were off in Marvin’s place. You threw him a middle finger as you let yourself into your place, wondering if all this effort was even worth it. If Marvin even wanted to have sex with you. 

You spent the weekend in your feelings, moping around your place. You didn’t know what it would take to get Marvin into your pants. What were you missing? Why was he not interested? 

After spending Saturday moping, you finally decided to wash the grime of the day from you. You went to turn your shower on, but nothing came out. The pipes groaned, a strange knocking sound, but no water. You huffed, checking for possible culprits. Your sinks still worked, but not your shower.

You groaned, cursing the shower head from here to kingdom come. You didn’t want to call Marvin for this. You wondered if Story or Jayne would let you borrow one of their men to come fix it. You went to your room in search of your phone, when you remembered that it was Story’s anniversary and Jayne’s husband was sweet but useless as hell when it came to handy work. 

You stomped your foot, pouting, giving in to the temper tantrum coursing through your body. Your pride didn’t want to let you call Marvin for something so stupid. If he wasn’t interested in you, why didn’t he just say that? Why didn’t he shut your ass down? Why did he allow you to develop this stupid crush on him? 

You really wanted a shower. You didn’t do anything all day, but you couldn’t relax without a bath. It was the one first-world problem you didn’t want to have. You liked ready and easy access to hot water. And now you didn’t have it. And it was probably too late at night to call anyone else.

You stomped your foot again, walking into your living room and taking a peek behind your blinds. Marvin was watching TV in his living room like an old man. You smiled, despite yourself. There was nothing sexier than a man who was comfortable in his skin and in his own company. 

You sucked your teeth and finally dialed his number. You were in booty shorts and an oversized T-shirt. Not completely sexy, but not bad either. You held the phone to your ear while you scurried to your bedroom.

You may not be powerful enough to torture him out of his pants, but maybe direct seduction would work. You thought over every conversation you had with Marvin, every little self-deprecating joke he uttered, and wondered if he thought you wouldn’t be interested in him? 

If he thought he was too old, too old-fashioned, or “overstepping his bounds”. Who the fuck even said something like that? Men who thought no one was interested in them. Poor baby. This was your last chance. If being direct didn’t help, then he was either gay or still hung up on his ex-wife or simply didn’t want you. 

The phone rang a few times in your ear before Marvin’s rough voice picked up. “Hey, what’s going on?” 

“I’m sorry to bug,” you started and Marvin chuckled. 

“Didn’t I say you never bug?” He asked. 

“Yes, but…”

“No buts. What do you need?” He asked.

Was he aware of how hot he was? Did none of the women in his life give him a fucking clue? Four little words out of his mouth, in his sinful deep voice, was enough to make you moan. Was he that blind? 

You sucked your teeth and groaned. “My shower isn’t working. And feel free to say no! It’s just…” You paused to look through your lingerie. You didn’t want anything too revealing, like this was all a set up. But you wanted something that showed you meant business. None of what you owned fit the bill. You were used to younger guys. You wanted to get in, run their hands over your teddies or panties, and then get down to fucking. No foreplay. No talking. 

“Just what?” Marvin asked. Was it your imagination or did his voice get rougher? 

“It’s just, I get a little crazy about my showers. It relaxes me. Calms me down. I can’t live without taking a nice, long, hot, relaxing bath or shower,” you said. You shimmied out of your shorts and went to remove your oversized Tupac shirt when it dawned on you…you didn’t need anything fancy with Marvin. The point of direct seduction was to be direct. 

Marvin chuckled softly. “Say no more, sweetheart. I’ll be right over with my tools,” he said. You said goodbye, but your pussy throbbed with his endearing words to you. He’d never called you such a thing before. You stood in your bedroom, momentarily dazed. You wanted to be his sweetheart. So damn badly you could taste it. 

The doorbell rang, pulling you from your thoughts. Shit. Shit. You picked up your shorts off of the floor and threw them in the laundry basket, along with the clothes from the famous chair. You pushed it into your closet and then hurriedly walked to the front door, eyeing your surroundings.

Not the best, but luckily, you hadn’t left too much chaos in your wake getting ready this past week or moping today. You opened the door, grinning at Marvin. His eyes dropped to your legs for a moment before he looked back at you, smiling. 

You opened the door further, waving him inside. He stepped in, head on a swivel. You wondered if he had a military background. Safe inside, you closed and locked the door. “Thank you for coming over. You sure you weren’t busy?” You asked.

Marvin shook his head. “I’m an old man. All I do is my job and go home. I must seem pretty boring, huh?” He asked.

You shook your head. Feeling nervous all of a sudden. You’ve seduced men before. It was a thrill every time. But this felt different with Marvin. Felt different because he meant more to you than any of those other flings. You wanted to please him. It shouldn’t be a radical concept but it was. 

“You are the opposite of boring, Marvin. In fact, I think you’re pretty special,” you said.

Marvin laughed and shrugged his shoulders, walking deeper into your home. The kitchen was just in front and you prayed that he wasn’t looking at your dirty dishes. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to make you cringe. 

“I’m surprised you’re home on a Saturday night. Why aren’t you out on a date?” He asked.

You didn’t answer, forcing him to turn around to you. You were still leaning against the door, your head tilted towards him. “I haven’t found what I wanted,” you said. 

No games. No tricks. No attitude. You walked towards Marvin, okay sauntered, and when you got within his personal space, you looked at him. You locked eyes as you grabbed the toolbox out of his hands. You placed it on the nearest end table, taking his hands and leading him to the back of the couch. 

“What do you want?” He asked, eyebrow lifted, a scowl on his face. Did he really not have a clue? No idea of what you were feeling? This whole time, you thought you were a neon sign. Professing how much you wanted to fuck him. How badly you wanted to be wrapped in his arms. Underneath him. Welcoming him into your body. 

He wore another music shirt, N.W.A splattered across his chest. Gold chain gleaming in your warm lighting. Dark sweats. Dark shoes. He looked good enough to lick on. What a great idea, actually. 

“You. I want you,” you said. You stared into his eyes, sinking slowly to your knees. 

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asked. He tried to bend down, hands flying to your arms to lift you. You resisted, hands moving to his pants. 

“I’m telling you that I’m crazy about you and that I found a great way to thank you,” you said.

“Thank me?” 

“Yup. Thank you for welcoming me to the neighborhood, being sweet to me on my worst day, and becoming the best thing about my day, talking to you,” you said. 

Marvin relaxed against the back of your couch. “You don’t have to thank me for that,” he said.

“I know. I want to. Please, Marvin? You’d be doing me a favor,” you said. 

Marvin rested his hands on the back of the couch, so you began to tug his pants down. He wore nothing underneath, his thick dick bobbing up and down once freed. He was huge and growing by the second, as he stood at attention. 

“What kind of favor?” He asked. He sounded less unsure and more amused. So you leaned forward and kissed the tip of his dick. 

“I cannot scratch this really particular itch I have. I’ve tried ignoring it, I’ve tried pleasing myself. And nothing worked. Not even picturing you using my vibrator on me,” you pouted, licking his tip. 

“Don’t tell me that,” Marvin groaned. 

“Don’t tell you what? That I masterbate? Or I do it with your name on my lips?” You asked.

Marvin groaned and tapped the back of your couch. “I didn’t think you’d want this from me. That dress the other day made me want to drag you back inside the house,” he said.

You chuckled, pussy clenching at his confession. So he did like you! Really liked you! 

You gripped his dick, moving your hands softly up and down since he wasn’t properly lubed up yet. He groaned, looking down at you. 

“I wanted you to,” you said. 

Marvin chuckled. “I’ve wanted you since I saw you crying outside your house. I wanted to do anything to make you smile,” he said.

You sighed and rested your forehead against his thigh. “Don’t tell me that. Don’t be cute right now,” you said. 

Marvin laughed again and his dick bounced. You looked up at him. “I’ve pictured you on your knees too. Felt like a pervert, stroking to the pics you’ve sent me,” he said, referring to the innocent selfies you sent him, trying to cajole a few out of him. Something to keep you going in between spouts of seeing him. 

“You’ve jerked off to me?” You asked. 

Marvin nodded. “Did you intentionally masterbate in front of your bedroom window for me?” He asked.

Your thighs tingled. He had been watching! The confirmation of it made you clench even more, wanting so desperately to rush this. To speed things along. To pounce on him and not come up for air. 

You nodded. “I hoped you were watching,” you confessed.

Marvin smirked. “Is that right?” He asked.

You nodded and went back to nuzzling his dick. The sweet musk of him. He kept the hair here nice and trimmed, just like the rest of him. You were a little intimidated by it, but you were willing to try. 

You opened your mouth and suckled the head. Marvin groaned, his hand flying to your hair but then backing away. You chuckled. “You can play with my hair,” you told him.

Marvin’s hand went back to your hair, scratching lightly. Your eyes rolled and you went back to suckling him down further. Damn. No one’s ever done that for you before. It activated your demon brain, taking off the kid gloves. 

You sucked him down in one fell swoop. Marvin moaned, grabbing your hair and yanking painfully. You kept going, slobbering on his dick. Playing with his dick. Toying with it. Unleashing all that pent up horniness, disgusting daydreams, and filthy fantasies your mind had cooked up over the past few months. 

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” Marvin moaned. He gripped your hair tighter and you moaned, panties getting wetter by the second. You planned to ease him into this. Get used to the idea that you wanted him worse than an addict wanted a drink. Then you would ease him into your filthy mind. The way you turned into an absolute horn dog when you wanted someone. 

You didn’t know what it was. Only that once you were locked in to someone, you burned bright and fast. You were into it all. Being dominated, being controlled, being at the mercy of someone else. It didn’t always work out well. Some men were just too weak to fit the bill. 

But you needed to put it on Marvin. Needed him to know how serious you were. How this wasn’t casual to you. And you hoped it wasn’t for him. Because he was already sending hella signals that he was into you, that this wasn’t small. And you feared that once you got a taste, you wouldn’t be able to stop. Would cross oceans of time to get back to him and his glorious dick.

Your slobber dripped down your chin as you spat on it and then sucked him back down. The chorus of curses raining out of Marvin’s mouth was like music to your ears. The subtle praise was successfully turning your mind to mush. 

“Fuck, I’m ‘bout to bust, sweetheart,” he groaned.

You renewed your efforts, gripping onto his thighs and sucking him down as far back as he would go. You slowly withdrew his dick from your mouth, feeling every vein and the edge of his mushroom head. Fresh precum leaked into your mouth and then you swallowed him all again. 

“Shit,” Marvin said. “So fucking beautiful with my dick in your mouth,” he moaned. 

You moaned around his dick, looking up at him and repeating your efforts. Getting faster and faster until Marvin gripped your head on either side and moaned. Cum pulsed into your mouth and you drank greedily. His dick throbbed, more leaking out. You suckled that down too. 

“Oh shit, oh shit,” Marvin groaned. You slowly withdrew him with a pop and licked the corners of your mouth. 

Marvin was sweating and his chest was heaving with his breaths. He stared at you like you were otherworldly. Something conjured from his mind and made flesh. You loved that look in his eye. You grinned and nuzzled his balls. His slick dick smeared across your face, but that was okay. You couldn’t stop touching him, being near him, pleasuring him. 

“Stand up,” he commanded. You used his thighs for support as you stood up and shook out your aching legs. Your focus had been on making him cum in your mouth so you ignored your body’s protests. Now that you were back to the land of the living, your check engine lights came on. 

Your feet burned with static as feeling returned, your knees groaning, and your thighs slightly shook. You used the end of your shirt to clean off the rest of your mouth, the saliva and cum you didn’t get to. 

Marvin grabbed you by the elbow and shoved you down the hallway. You giggled from the way he manhandled you. He tossed you onto the bed and then went to work taking off his shoes and clothes. Fully naked before you, you sat up on your elbows to take in the full view of him.

Fuck, he was perfect. His body was thick in all the right places. Round belly but there was muscle underneath, arms big enough to crush melons, thick waist, and big sexy thighs. His sexy brown skin only seemed to shine brighter in your room. No shadows to hide behind, he was hands down the finest man you’d ever seen naked. 

Marvin grinned at you and pushed your shirt up to expose your panties. He pinned your legs apart, staring at your clad center. He got to his knees, pulling your leg over his shoulder. “All this time? You’ve been teasing me on purpose?” He asked. 

He pressed a thumb against your pussy and you moaned. The sensation was too much to your oversensitive clit. You squirmed on the bed and all he did was press a thumb there. Either you were just that horny, or you were that horny for Marvin. “Y-Yes,” you moaned, when he pressed his thumb in again. 

“All the dresses, the dates, the intentional innuendos. You wanted me jealous, didn’t you?” He asked. He moved his thumb all around your pussy. Down the seam, down the sides of your panties, towards your entrance.

Your breathing increased, heart jumping in your chest. You were thoroughly turned on. Thoroughly ejected from your brain and into fantasyland. “Yes,” you moaned. You needed more. You needed him to move your panties to the side. 

“Please, Marvin,” you begged.

Marvin pushed his nose into your pussy and took a deep breath. “Such a brat. Why should I reward you for being so bad?” He asked. His thumb pushed past the seam of your panties, pressing into the sides of your pussy and you moaned, pushing your hips down in an effort to get him where you wanted him. 

“I’ve been good, I swear,” you said. 

“You let those other men touch you?” He asked. His warm breath fanned across your sweat-slick thighs. 

You never went on any dates and you wondered if you should fess up to that. However, there was a feral, animalistic glint in his eye that was turning you on even more. “A little, there was some kissing,” you said instead of the truth. 

Marvin closed his eyes, jaw flexed, and then used his free hand to wipe his face. “What else did you let them do?” He asked. 

His thumb played with the seam of your pussy but he didn’t push in further. Your essence pooled out of you, enough to let him slide without issue. But you needed him to touch your pussy. To stick a finger in, something. He was being so mean. And god, you fucking loved it. 

“That’s it, I swear,” you said. Marvin looked at you, his eyes intense. You nodded. “I swear.” 

Marvin removed his thumb, pressing it to his lips and suckling on your slick. You watched his eyes close, a low hum escaping him. He leaned up and then moved your panties to the side, tongue darting out to lick up from your pussy to your clit.

“Oh shit!” You screamed. His tongue flicked your swollen clit, causing some type of vibration that made your eyes cross. 

“No one else touches what’s mine, understand?” He asked.

“What’s yours?” You asked. Marvin bit the inside of your thigh and you cried out. 

“No one else touches what’s mine. Including you,” he said. He backed up his words with his tongue and lips, zeroing in on your clit and suckling hard. 

You back bowed off of the bed, but you had no room to move. Marvin had you completely trapped and under his mercy. He licked and sucked, making out with your pussy or feasting on an entire meal. You grew wetter from fresh slick and his spit, suckling on you messy and loud. It was lewd, listening to how wet he made you. How turned on he made you. 

“Oh, fuck, Marvin,” you groaned. 

Marvin hummed greedily, still eating you out. He focused on your clit, bringing his hand up to dip into your weeping hole. His hand slipped in easily, messily. You clenched around his finger and moaned. 

Marvin added a second finger, testing how much you could take. It’d been a minute but Black Noir’s dildo was oversized, playing up the stereotype. You were over Vaught for that, but shit, it was the only one close enough to satisfy your sexual appetite. So with two of Marvin’s fingers down to the knuckle, it wasn’t the biggest you’d ever taken. Still.

He knew how to explore with those fingers. Moving them in all kinds of different directions. Your moans and groans changed depending on what he was doing. And fuck if that wasn’t the point. He found exactly what got you going, what got you whimpering and clutching onto him, and your nails digging into his scalp. 

Marvin moaned into your pussy, flicking his tongue across your clit. “I’ll prove that I’m the only man you need,” he said. He went back to suckling and then switched up again, rubbing his fingers against a tiny nub inside you. You exploded. Shattered. Broken into tiny, jagged pieces that scraped your vocal chords as you screamed out your release. 

Marvin continued to eat you out, and rub against that nub. You went from one powerful orgasm to the next. Your leg shook on top of his shoulder. You made all kinds of unholy, unhinged sounds as you flopped on your bed. 

You whimpered as you came down from the second one. Your bed was soaked beneath you. An entire puddle. “You made a beautiful mess, sweetheart,” Marvin said, sounding awed. Sounding reverent. 

Your pussy clenched at his praise. Like that was all he wanted and you granted it to him. You whimpered again, shaking with aftershocks of your orgasm. You thought you were good at sex. You thought you knew how to put it down. Marvin was insane. He was in another league and it was making you feel a little insecure. 

But then Marvin started kissing your thighs as he stood up. He helped removed your panties and then yanked you up by the shirt. You giggled as you fought with the big shirt, wishing you had opted to wear something easier to remove. Marvin giggled too, breaking the intense persona he adopted.

Freed, cold but welcome air hit your hardened nipples. Marvin kissed all over your big belly, all over your rolls, dips, and hips. He moaned after every kiss, like each new space was more delicious than the last. 

“Fuck, you make me feel so good, Marvin. So fuckin’ good,” you panted. You were out of breath. Overheated. He made you feel like you could walk barefoot on the sun and not get get burnt. 

Marvin groaned, kissing up to your chest. He took his time, suckling one nipple into his mouth and then turning his attention to the other. Your knees snapped to his waist, holding him in. Your pussy began throbbing again in record time. 

“Fuck,” you moaned.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, sweetheart. Can you give me one more? Can you make another mess for me?” He asked, kissing each question into your chest. 

You shook your head. Hell naw you couldn’t give him one more. Was he crazy? Another one? He wanted another one after that previous explosion? You wouldn’t survive it. 

“Where’s your toy?” He asked.

“What?” You asked, fresh dread making your heart sink. 

Marvin got up from the bed and went to your nightstand, opening it and finding his prize. He chuckled, flipping it around while he found the on switch. The dildo started vibrating and he looked from it to you.

“This what you into, huh?” He asked.

You giggled and shook your head. “I know they’re trash but they sure know their client base,” you said. 

Marvin nodded and stepped close to you. And yes, his dick was bigger. Of course it was bigger than the toy. You were out of your league in more ways than one, but he’d been nothing but gentle with you, even while he was doing his own brand of torture. 

He brought the dildo to your clit. You began to moan, pushing against the toy. It was on the lowest setting but it was like heaven against you. You were too sensitive as it was. Marvin played with your essence and the toy, swirling the tip around your clit.

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he said. “You don’t know how many mornings I woke up, humping the shit out of my bed, trying to hold onto my dreams,” he said. 

Oh shit. Marvin’s words went straight to your heart. Why did he have to be so….him? So open, so caring, so filthy? You were going to collapse from it all. 

“Marvin, please,” you whined. Your voice shook. Body so warm and sweaty, mind gone. He broke you down in more ways than one and you once again marveled at him. 

“Is this what you do when you masterbate? Tease yourself? I bet you do,” he cooed at you. He turned up the vibrator, the vibrations more intense and making your teeth chatter. Your toes curled, trying to stave off another orgasm. You weren’t joking. You were really going to collapse from this one. 

“Hey, look at me sweetheart,” he said. Your eyes turned to his and he smiled. “You’re okay. You can let that shit go. I know you like to tease yourself. Play with yourself. ‘Cause you know exactly what turns you on, huh?” He asked.

You nodded, staring into his eyes. You were struggling to breathe but it grew easier focusing on him and not the fact that you were getting ready to combust. “And I can’t wait to get to know every spot, every moan, everything that makes your eyes roll,” he continued.

“Oh, shit, Marvin, Marvin,” you said, words rising with your panic. You were just there, just at the precipice. Your nails dug into his arm but he showed no indication that it hurt him. He was indestructible. Your hero, your savior. 

Marvin leaned in, arm flexing with supporting his weight on the bed. He suckled a nipple back into his mouth, teasing it, rolling it between his teeth. The bite of pain sent a ripple down to your pussy and you throbbed. 

“You’re a brat but you know when to give in, don’t you? There’s only so long you can tease yourself before you get greedy, huh? ‘Cause your spoiled ass always gets what she wants. Go on and let that shit go,” he cooed.

Marvin turned the setting up to its highest setting, pressing it firmly against your clit. You came immediately. Black spots winking in and out of your vision. You broke down, atom by atom, bit by bit, conceptual thought by abstract thought, and there was only you, him, and the intense pleasure he wrought out of your body. You screamed to the ceiling, screamed to heavens, screamed to anyone who was near enough to hear that you were cumming and cumming hard enough to see stars. 

Marvin distantly moved around you, doing something. You weren’t sure what. You were starting to calm down, feeling the fresh pool of wetness leak out of you. “Fuuck, you’re soaked, sweetheart,” he said.

He came back into your field of vision, lining himself up. Oh, he went and grabbed a condom. What a beautiful man. You pushed against his chest, arm too weak to really stop him. “Slow, baby, please,” you huffed. 

Marvin chuckled and pushed against your hand. “You’ve already taken everything so well, sweetheart,” he said and kissed your forehead. 

Your mind emptied out with a feral moan and Marvin pushed into your warm pussy. He groaned as he made contact. “Fuck, you’re good and wet baby. Look at that, slid right in. ‘Cause you take everything so well. So fuckin’ beautiful. So fuckin’ perfect,” he moaned. 

The praise was snatching your soul. Marvin grunted with every slip and slide of him inside you. Your legs locked around his waist, some primal muscle memory locking him in. Trapping him in. Keeping him connected to you while he fucked you.

You gripped onto his shoulders, scratching him. He groaned and began fucking you harder. His big, meaty palms grabbed your hips and slammed you into his dick. He was so big. He stretched you to your limit. But all the preparation made sense to you now. There was no way you could take him unless you were properly wet. 

Wouldn’t be a problem with him but you made a mental note to buy some lube. Possibly two bottles because you couldn’t imagine having this much patience again. You’d want to climb on top of him any chance you got. 

“Fuck, Marvin! You’re so big!” You screamed. And this time, you weren’t trying to hurry the man along. You were dead serious, praising him for what God and genetics blessed him with. Your ass smacked on his thighs, dick burrowing deep inside. 

“Fuck you feel good taking this dick,” he moaned. One of his hands moved to pinch a nipple. He held on while he fucked you hard, headboard clapping against your wall. 

“Shit!” You screamed, once again creaming on his dick. You hadn’t even felt this one coming. It snuck up on you, robbing you of breath and thought. 

Marvin groaned, slammed in a few more times, before shooting into the condom. You felt his dick pulse with each shot of cum and you moaned, clutching his body to you. He slowed down, breathing heavy in your ear. His sweaty body felt cold on yours and yet the heat of him was enough to scald. 

He stood up, slowly withdrawing from you. You groaned as he worked himself out. You rolled to one elbow, huffing with the effort. A thick wad of cum was at the tip of the condom. Marvin smiled at you. It was devastating. It broke your heart. 

You were lost in it completely as he took the condom off and disappeared to your bathroom. You heard water running and then he was back with a washcloth, cleaning up between your legs.

You felt so cherished and taken care of. Where had he been all your life? Moving next to him was the single greatest idea you’d ever had. Fuck every doubt, every regret, every night you spent wondering if this was the right move. Marvin just proved it was.

After cleaning you up, he got rid of the rag and then helped you stand up. He stripped your bed, and then found new sheets in the cabinet you told him about. In record time, he put new sheets on and then was pulling you back down, embracing you from behind.

You snuggled into his warmth, yawning, feeling safe and warm and madly in love. He was never escaping you. Never getting rid of you. Dick could absolutely change a woman’s tune, got damn. 

“I got one more question before you fall asleep, sweetheart,” he said and kissed behind your ear.

“Hmm?” You asked, no energy for anything. You were falling asleep fast.

“Did your shower really go out?” He asked.

“Uh-huh,” you agreed and then you were fast asleep to the sound of Marvin’s chuckles.

There's more! The Secret Mother's Milk Files

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[versatilewindow]

Food Poisoning, or Something More?

Find it on Ao3

Summary: Reader gets food poisoning, inspired by true events

Warnings: somewhat graphic depiction of throwing up/illness, implied afab reader

A/N: when I started writing this I intended a quick lil drabble, but alas

Rintaro was in bed, passing the time till he fell asleep for the night watching a random youtube video when the texts from you came in. Babe please come over, then another text, my stomach hurts, then the last, I rlly need u rn. He responded quickly, u kno u can just tell me when u wanna have sex, u dont have to pretend ur stomach hurts or something. He saw the three dots appear and waited for the response, i spent the last 10 min voming in the toilet. Worry filled Rin’s head, calculating the amount of time it would take to stop by the nearest drugstore to pick up some supplies before texting you back, 20 min. 

Walking into your apartment with a bag filled with medicine, sports drinks, and snacks, in his rush to get to you, he forgot to ask what medicine you already had, so he got whatever would seem useful. He called out to you, “Bunny? I’m here.” not that he needed a response, he could hear your retching from across the apartment. Rushing into the bathroom, Rin kneeled next to you, redoing the messy ponytail that you put up, rubbing your back, muttering encouraging words so that you would finish and he could comfort you. He flushed the toilet while you hovered over the toilet for a few seconds, making sure the wave of nausea passed before trying to get up. Suna followed your movements, setting his hands on your waist to steady your swaying while you washed out your mouth in the sink. “Please tell me you haven’t spent the last twenty minutes vomiting.”

“No, I haven’t. But it sure felt like it.” Your boyfriend’s eyebrows furrowed that these words. Your voice was hoarse, skin washed out from its usual glow, the exhaustion clear in every aspect of your appearance. You buried your face in his chest, grabbing his shirt with labored breath. “Thank you for coming. I know it’s gross.”

Your words were just loud enough for him to hear. “It’s no problem bun-bun, I brought you some stuff, it's in the kitchen.” Rin pulled you out of the bathroom you were holed up in, setting you down on your couch. He walked away from you, presumably to get whatever it was he brought, and you shut your eyes, savoring the calm in the waves of nausea. You heard the rustling in the kitchen, pots and pans clanging, bringing your headache to stir and push down on your temples. While massaging your forehead, your favorite fuzzy blanket was pulled over your crossed legs, large hands replacing yours on your head. Rin kissed the crown of your head. “I have some soup heating up for you, and Pocari Sweat, and some meds.” He moved around the couch to sit on the coffee table in front of you. “Did you eat anything weird today? Did one of your co-workers have the flu recently? Because I don’t wanna catch whatever you have.”

You thought for a moment before responding, “I, uh, don’t think anyone was sick at work recently. I don’t think it's contagious then. Uhh Mina from school, it was her birthday, so we went to that new barbeque place for lunch.” Your words were slower paced than they usually were, taking all your effort to say something comprehensible. “I texted the groupchat, they said they were feeling ok, but um I think it was Hana? She said she didn’t feel too great, but nothing like me.”

“You’re not pregnant are you? Because as much as I like getting called daddy, I don’t really wanna hear it from a kid, only from you.” 

You look straight into his eyes, he winks, “Shut the fuck up. And no, I took a test, it was negative.”

“That’s good then, lemme check on the soup.” He got up, patting your head as you leaned back into the couch. He came back quickly, bowl and bag of “goodies”. As you slowly spooned the broth into your mouth, Rin pulled out a few bottles of Pocari Sweat, a bottle of anti-nausea medicine, some crackers, and finally the two greatest items in the bag, strawberry pocky and chuupets. You froze when you saw those, quickly putting down your soup to make grabby hands at the pocky and chuupet, but he lifted them out of your reach, “Nuh-uh, not until you feel better, you’d just throw them up now.” You gave him the best pout you could, but Rin stayed firm in his words, putting the treats back in the bag.

Rintaro spent the rest of the night taking care of you, grabbing whatever you needed, massaging your stiff stomach, letting you sleep against him while you slept sitting on the couch (he insisted that you stay upright, telling you how google said it would help the heartburn), and continuing to hold your hair back when you were dry heaving (there wasn’t any food in your stomach to vomit up by 3 am). You were settling into bed around five am, exhausted from staying up so long, ready to at least try and get peaceful sleep when Rin said, “So I know we already discussed this and have concluded you have food poisoning, but what if you just have a tapeworm? Google said it’s basically the same symptoms-”

“What the fuck Rin? A tapeworm? Who even gets tapeworms?”

“Well Google said people usually get them in contaminated pork or beef, and you got barbeque.”

“It would be an egg on the meat, and eggs take time to grow Rin-Rin, I’m pretty sure the gestational period for tapeworm eggs is not 8 hours.”

“But Babe, think about it, a pet tapeworm.” The bedroom was dark, but Rin felt your eyes burning through his skull. “You said you wanted a pet, so we go to the doctor’s get the tapeworm removed, and make him an aquarium.”

You deeply sighed, shaking your head, “When I said a pet, I meant a bunny, or a cat. Not a parasite.”

“I’d call the worm Mustard-”

“Goodnight Rin.”

The next day, Rin stayed with you, making sure you were okay. You felt infinitely better than the night before, with only a lingering headache reminding you of the situation. There was a knock on the door during your lunch, it was your friend Mina, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry you got sick yesterday, I feel so bad, I brought your favorite food to make up for it.” She placed a white plastic bag on your table.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault.” 

Rin took your empty bowl, replacing it with another, and ruffled your hair, “C’mon babe, you’re eating for two now.” The mischievous grin was obvious on his face.

Mina blushed, “Oh-oh my god...are you pregnant? Is that why you were sick? Is it a boy or a girl?”

A proud smile on his face, Rintaro replied, “It’s a tapeworm,” earning him a hard smack on the stomach.

A/N: yeah i got food poisoning from eating too much japchae, too much fiber makes ur intestine say no, and your stomach acid go crazy, dont recommend, but it inspired the fic! hope yall liked it! Leave a comment saying why you liked it! or why you didn't like it!

[gguksgalaxy]

Bulls Eye | JJK | Bottoms Up

A summer weekend isn’t complete without Jungkook coming to seek you out at your job at the beach club to bless you wish his smile. A smile that quickly fades to anger one night, when he catches your ex trying to get your attention.

›› Bottoms Up Masterlist ›› AU: Friends to Lovers ›› Genre: Smut / Fluff / Angst ›› Rating: 18+ (sexual content) ›› Pairing: JJK x Reader ›› Word Count: 9.4k Warning Include: Mild violence, swearing, minor injuries, alcohol, toxic past relationship, toxic ex, sex, fingering, cunnilingus, lots of smooching.

Jungkook: Okay but when do I finally get to meet u irl? [19:23]

You: You're legit going to see me like, tonight [19:25]

Jungkook: Meeting u when ur at work doesn't count :((( [19:34]

You: Jungkook, you see me every weekend, the entire summer [19:36]

You: How much more of me do you want to see? [19:36]

You: Nvm dont answer that [19:38]

Jungkook: Ur just scared imma beat ur ass in mario kart [19:38]

Jungkook: Ill let you win though if that means we can hang out :((  [19:40]

Jungkook: Hello? [19:45]

Jungkook: ARE YOU IGNORING ME? [19:59]

Jungkook: I am: H U R T [20:10]

You chuckle at your phone as you’re doing your make-up sitting at your vanity. Jungkook’s been like this for the short time that you’ve known him. It was a little under a year ago when he’d left his phone number on a napkin at your work. Normally you know better than to pick up random number from semi-drunk strangers but his smile had been too good to deny. That, and he had been more friendly than the normal party-goer.

From working at a beach club in the summer, you’re not unaccustomed to receiving numbers that you truly do not want.

When you met Jungkook, he was arguably a little bit tipsy, but he made no attempt at flirting with you as he dropped down onto the barstool in front of you.

You’d been dating someone, something you’d made very clear and it hadn’t mattered to him. You’d be lying to say you hadn’t been a little curious about him. He’d smiled, wide-eyes and wholeheartedly, and you might’ve been whipped ever since. So you’d taken his number under the pretence of sending him the dumb picture you’d taken of him. At his own request.

Here you are, nearly a year later and one boyfriend less. Jungkook has kept texting you but you’ve never really been sure about taking your relationship past your work. According to him, he became a regular just to see you. But it’s easier to not fall too deep in your crush as long as work is the only place you see him.

For him, it seemed to be more of a struggle. When the club closed for winter you truly had expected him to grow bored of you and stop texting. Especially because last year, you were still dating your ex. Also known as the demon who made you last autumn a living hell. 

Jungkook, on the other hand, is an angel. Or well, he might be a bit of a brat from time to time but you’ll take it in stride if you get to enjoy his presence a little more. His daily texts at least. 

It’s because of his sheer kindness and unabashed behaviour that your ever-growing crush developed past a small infatuation. You catch yourself smiling in the mirror just thinking about him. His sweet smile and soft lips. His sharp jawline and broad shoulders. His hands that — you really need to get your head out of the gutter.

That’s how you knew your crush had taken a … ‘bad turn’. When he’d sent you a Snapchat of his Starbucks drink and your first thought was; ‘I wonder what that hand would feel like on my body’. Or when he’d sent you a video of him working out — obviously as a joke — and all you could see what the bulging of his arm muscles.

Truly, you’re whipped for him and you’re afraid to admit it. His flirting has never passed the line of playful, it’s just there to tease you. Guys like Jungkook — caring, sweet, good-looking — don’t go for you. You’d rather keep your friendship with him, than take a risk and lose everything.

Your phone chimes again, not aiding you in your thoughts. It only makes your smile widen.

Jungkook: I will come whoop ur ass tonight if u don't text me back! [20:31]

You: Oh stop crying will you? I was getting ready [20:31]

Jungkook: Did u think about me? [20:31]

You: Jungkook, why in the lord would I be thinking bout you? [20:33]

Jungkook: Oh I dunno, cuz Im cute? cuz u love me? :(( [20:35]

You: Do I tho? [20:36]

Jungkook: D: [20:36]

You: See you in a few hours kook [20:36]

Jungkook: yiss [20:36]

The club is bustling, the air warm and humid as soon as people start to trickle in. The weather is calm, after a few rainstorms it’s good to feel the ocean breeze. It’ll be busy tonight, and you’re prepared for it.

It takes an hour or two for the club to be filled, music on blast and beer flowing like water. You’re behind the black wooden bar, dressed in a red off-shoulder blouse that hangs loosely around your frame. The dress code at work is jeans and anything red, so you invested in a pair of red sneakers just to match.

The dance floor is crowded, people moving, dancing as you mix drink after drink upon request. Cocktails are your specialisation, that is your corner of the bar. By the time your two hours in your hands are sticky with liquor.

As you’re washing your hands, you find yourself searching for that one familiar face. The fact that Jungkook is about as handsome as they come hasn’t helped you fall for him any less in the short time you let yourself. The second you stopped withholding yourself from thinking about him like that, you found yourself thinking about him like that — all of the time. To the point where you almost drunk dialled him, twice.

Truly, you hope to see him. A night at the club is not complete without Jungkook gracing you with his smile. You remember he said something about dying his hair recently, and you’re curious to see as to what he’s done.

A girl walks up to you with an order, and you’re amidst making her three cosmopolitans when Jungkook finally shows himself.

The glass almost drops out of your hand when you lay eyes on him. “Jungkook,” you stammer out.

He’s wearing a thin white t-shirt, neckline showing his collarbones that are covered in a faint sheen of sweat. The fabric clings to his chest a little, not leaving much to the imagination. He’s more muscular than you thought. You wonder if he —

“Hello, eyes up here,” he chuckles, smiling widely.

You blink at him, realising his hair is a few shades lighter than its usual black hue. It softens out his features, yet the side part reveals his forehead and makes him look more mature at the same time. The way in which he looks both sweet and sexy is odd — confusing is perhaps a better word.

“Hey,” you manage to blurt out, trying to focus on your work again. You pour the girl her drinks and garnish them with a piece of orange zest.

“Did you just get here?” you ask Jungkook.

He shakes his head. “No, I got here about an hour ago.”

“And you didn’t come say hi? I’m offended.”

He chuckles again, nose scrunching up. “Let me give you a hug as consolation?”

Your eyes widen at the request. It’s not that you haven’t hugged him before. He’s managed to ensnare you enough times when you were out collecting glasses. Though, this is the first time he’s so openly asked for it and your stomach jumps at the thought. For your own sanity, you want to protest but you find yourself unable to.

“Please? I haven’t seen you for eight months. Give a guy some love.” Jungkook cocks his head to the side, a gesture that makes his hair fall over his forehead. The light catches his eyes — you can’t say no to those eyes.

“Fine, fine,” you sigh with a roll of your eyes as you sling the towel over your shoulder.

Jungkook grins so widely you blush as he envelops you into a bone-crushing hug. He is warm, smelling like an odd mix of beer, sweat and a light perfume. Strangely, it works but you can’t help but wonder how nice he’d smell when he’s not in a club. The perfume you caught definitely matches him.

You can just withhold yourself from literally inhaling him as you rest your chin on his shoulder. His shirt is so thin that you can feel the dip of his spine as your hand grazes his back. Your stomach flutters again.

He lets go too soon, and you have to stop yourself from pouting. “The usual?” you ask.

“Yeah, Tae and Jimin are hanging out somewhere, so two beer too.” He looks over his shoulder to where he must assume his friends are. You don’t seem them, but you doubt they’d stray far. He usually comes with them, though he’s shown up alone too. Every Saturday in the summer like clockwork.

Jungkook always orders the same cocktail. You step back behind the bar as he watches you carefully. His eyes follow you as you move — you’re hyper-aware of it, but too afraid to look up and meet his gaze.

Bulls Eye is not a drink that’s order often, but you’ve started to associate it with Jungkook. As you pour the lemon juice into the shaker, you mix it with light beer, ginger ale, and some sugar. It’s stirred, not shaken. The drink is not your thing, but you’ve tried it on his recommendation. Sadly, anything with beer has a tendency to make your tastebuds cringe.

It’s poured over ice, cold in your hand at you pass it to him. “Here, not too heavy on the lemon juice.”

“You remember?”

“How could I not?”

Jungkook seems taken aback by your comment, silent for a few beats too long. He doesn’t shake out of his trance until you give him the two beers. “Thanks! The others must be wondering where I went. I’ll see you around!”

You smile at him, giving a short wave as he walks off with the drinks crammed in his hands. He turns back to look at you once before he disappears into the crowd. You hope he didn’t catch you staring.

Seeing him again — hugging him — has truly confirmed that you’re in over your head. Your heart is thrumming just from the sight of him. It’s been eight months and yet you swear he matured. The purposely odd-angled Snapchats truly didn’t do him justice.

You remember a few months ago when he’d started sharing his workouts with you. Apparently, he’d been held up by a shoulder injury, but now he was back on his regular regime. Also known as the regime where he spends most of his free time either working out of playing video games. Either of which you receive excessive clips of.

The thoughts make you chuckle. You’ve never been much of a gamer, but Jungkook's excitement about it has pushed you dangerously close to getting yourself a console. Who knows, maybe soon.

His offers to play Mario Kart with you are tempting. It’s the thought of what could happen that make you hesitate every time. The chance of this ending in shambles becomes more and more likely the deeper you fall for him. You’re not sure there even is a way out anymore.

“Hey, miss whipped!” your colleague calls out, waving a hand in front of your face.

“W-what?” You shake yourself.

She chuckles. “Legit, are you still not dating him?”

You frown. “Who? Jungkook? No, we’re not dating.”

“You’re willing to tell me that you two are out here looking at each other like you’re about to walk down the aisle and you’re not dating? Girl, get a grip, the boy’s all over you. Has been since the first time he saw you.” She’s washing out the dirty glasses, hands moving quickly.

You’re unsure of what to tell her. It’s the second year you’re working together but you wouldn’t really consider her a friend. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Wait.” She stops. “Don’t tell me you’re still dating that douche from last year? I know we’re not close but he was a dick and you need to get rid of him.”

“No, no. I broke up with him a few months ago.” You think back of your ex. Last summer when you’d taken this job he’d been displeased. But it’d worsened when he came to see you and decided that every guy who ordered from you was either flirting with you or out to take you from him. He’d always been a little possessive, but after summer he’d just crossed the line with you. Though, breaking up with him wasn’t as easy as you’d thought it’d be.

Despite him being possessive, you really thought you loved him. You didn’t want to lose him and it caused you to be stuck in an unhappy relationship for three months. Until you finally decided to cut him out — a messy breakup to be honest.

If it wasn’t for Jungkook showing you that you were so unhappy you’d still have been moping around.

“Well then,” your colleague says. “What are you waiting for? If I had a guy that hot smiling at me like I’m the sun his earth revolves around I would jump his bones any chance I got.”

“Nina!” you squeal.

“What?” she answers wide-eyed. “Oh please, you must’ve thought about it. Did you see his pecs?”

You blush furiously. “Okay! That’s enough lusting after my friend for tonight!” You push her towards the sink and get back to taking orders.

If she’d been wrong you doubt you’d be this flustered. But she’s not. You hate yourself for thinking about him like that. Jungkook’s a nice guy, he’s not out for more than a friendship. Surely he’d have said so if he was. Right?

You see Jungkook three more times that evening, each time a little more drunk and with a little bit of a wider smile. Though, when he comes to you for his fourth drink he asks for water. His t-shirt sticks to his skin and he giggles out something about needing some refreshment. You tell him to go for a swim in the sea. He replies with a wiggle of his eyebrows, asking you to join him. For skinny dipping.

You blush; your mistake. He sees right through you, eyes narrowing but no commentary following. Instead, he purposely brushes his hand against yours when you hand him his drinks — you now this because he lingers a tad too long. His gaze settles on you before he walks away and you want to blame it on the alcohol in his system but it feels like he knows.

Nina leans over to you. “Girl, your boy is giving you bedroom eyes. Are you really out here telling me he doesn’t want you?”

“Stop!” you shriek.

“Listen, it’s easy. You want him, he wants you. Nobody says you have to bed him, though I’d advise you to. He looks good.”

You roll your eyes at her again, walking into the back to get something to eat and take a breather. The night is warm, but the breeze that trickles in from the open back door is nice. You wish you could swim actually. It’s been a long time since you actually went to the ocean, even if you live so close. Life’s been busy.

When you walk into the club to collect empty glasses and bottles, you spot Jungkook. He’s with his friends, laughing and dancing without seemingly a care in the world. He doesn’t see you, but when he smiles particularly wide your own lips twitch.

You wonder whether being with Jungkook would be as bad of an idea as you thought. Being stuck in this crush for the rest of your friendship might be the end of you. He is too good to be true, yet he’s right here within reach and you’re letting him slip between your fingers.

Would kissing him be as good as you’ve imagined? Because you certainly have imagined it — his lips on yours, soft and maybe a little demanding, smiling into it even.

A hand wraps around your arm and you’re pulled around before you can truly register what happens. “Hey, babe.” You recognise the drawl of the pet name immediately. Your ex.

He smiles at you, fingers smoothing down your arm with a slight tilt of his head. His grin is glazed over with the effects of alcohol in his blood. He’s drunk, about to start something.

You take a tentative step back. “What do you want Hyunwoo?”

Instead of answering immediately, he moves closer with fingers trailing your waist. “I’m just wondering if you’ve had enough time to think? Did you realise you miss me yet?”

The scoff that slips past your lips is probably a mistake — the twist of his face shows his displeasure.

“Babe, don’t be like that. You said you needed space, didn’t I give you that?’

“No,” you spit. “That was months ago Hyunwoo. Before I broke up with you.”

He licks his lips and you hold your breath. Hyunwoo is mostly bark and, usually, no bite, but won’t hurt you but starting a scene is not past him. “People change their minds, don’t they?”

You push his hand off your hip. “Listen, you and I are done. I don’t want to be with you anymore, we don’t work. It’s better if you just leave me alone.” He’d better leave your sight soon. You’ve closed this chapter of your life and this just brings back bad memories you don’t need. Unwilling to grant him another second of your time you turn away to go back to the bar.

He grabs your hand again, pulling you against him. “Babe, come on.”

“Hyunwoo, let fucking go of me!”

Someone pushes him away from you, pulling you back.

“I think you need to back off,” Jungkook snarls suddenly from beside you. Hyunwoo reaches for you but Jungkook stops him with a shove. “I said back off man.” His voice is laced with anger and when you finally gather yourself enough to look up at him you’re surprised to see the furious look on his face.

Jungkook’s eyes are dark, brows set — it’s almost scary.

Your ex merely scoffs. “Who the fuck do you think you are, kid?”

“Someone who’ll treat her much better than you ever did. Now fuck off before I rearrange your teeth.”

The way Jungkook speaks is so out of character, you barely recognise him. Never have you heard him this angry over anything — it’s pure disgust coming out of his mouth. You suppose he’s never liked Hyunwoo, but you sure hope he can keep his hands to himself.

“Jungkook,” you try, touching his arm that’s coiled tight.

“I cared for her when no-one would and what?” Hyunwoo’s eyes run up and down Jungkook’s body. “She cheats on me with a highschooler.”

Jungkook scoffs. “You call isolating her from her friends, caring?” He steps towards Hyunwoo with a puffed-out chest. Your attempt to pull him back by his shirt only fails. “She didn’t cheat on you, have a little self-respect and leave her alone.”

“Self-respect? She’s the one going around fucking randoms.”

“That’s it,” Jungkook barks, shoving him back two steps. “You manipulative fuck, you have thre—“

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Hyunwoo’s fist connects with his cheek.

“Jungkook!” you exclaim, but he doesn’t hear you. Instead, he retaliates before you can do anything. Jungkook hits him back and you flinch upon the impact. You’re nailed to your spot as you watch Jungkook’s fist collide with his face again, not even stumbling. Everything around you slows down, you try to pull at Jungkook’s shirt, call his name, but he keeps pushing Hyunwoo further back.

“Stop!” you yell. People around you take notice, and someone tries to pull you back as Hyunwoo tackles Jungkook to the ground. He hits him in the face again and you cry out.

Suddenly, two security guards rush in. They just manage to stop Hyunwoo from hitting Jungkook again. Jungkook scrambles up from the floor and wipes the blood from his mouth as the guards force Hyunwoo out of the club. He yells something you can’t hear over the thumping of your heart.

Jungkook pushes at the third guard that comes for him, swaying on his feet.

“Hey!” you splutter out. The man from security recognises you, stopping with a firm grip on Jungkook’s upper arm. “It’s alright, he was protecting me. I’ll take him outside.”

“Are you certain miss?” He gives Jungkook a sceptical look. One of Jungkook’s eyes is watering, and there’s a bit of blood running from his nose.

You nod. “Yeah, I’ll get him some ice and send him on his way.” Jungkook is rubbing a hand over his eye, and you shakily grab his elbow to stop him. You look around, hoping to find Jimin or Taehyung so they can take him home, but they’re nowhere to be found. “Let's go.” Your voice falters, laced with nerves as you try to steady your own legs.

Jungkook sets his jaw. You shove him forward but he won’t budge. “Go Jungkook, to the bar.” Your legs feel like lead, body heavy with what just happened. He grumbles something when he finally starts walking to the front. The fear of what could’ve happened to him won’t stop running circles through your mind.

You guide him behind the bar and Nina perks up at the sight of him. “What happened?!”

“He punched my ex in the face,” you scoff.

She shoots Jungkook an approving look. “Good riddance.”

“Listen,” you say, grabbing a glass full of ice. “I can’t find his friends so I’m taking him to mine. Will you guys be okay without me?”  Jungkook’s slumped against the bar behind you, still not having said a word.

Nina nods. “Yeah, you look pretty shaken up yourself. We’ll be fine. Do you need me to call a cab?”

You shake your head. “It’s okay. I don’t live far.”

Jungkook huffs at you when you sit him down on a chair in the back. He really overstepped himself, and you want to be angry at him for making a scene at your work. But then again, he wasn’t the one who started throwing punches and the fact that he did it to protect you…you can’t just get mad. He could’ve gotten so much worse, you’re just glad he’s okay.

“Wait here.” You shuffle around the cabinets to find a washcloth and dump the ice in there, trying it up and giving it to him. “Here, for your cheek.”

He doesn’t take it, he just keeps rubbing his eye and blinking aggressively. “I think I’ve something in my eye.”

You sigh, slapping away at his hand from his face and tipping his head back into the light. “I think you just have a serious case of stupid.” Surprisingly, he lets you examine his eye, gently rubbing the skin under it. “It looks fine, just stop rubbing it.”

Jungkook blinks up at you. “Thanks.”

“Where are Jimin and Taehyung?”

He frowns, trying to think. “Uh…I think they were going out for food. I was going to join them after I said bye to you when I saw — what’s his name — talking to you.”

“Okay, well…I live one subway station away. I have a spare mattress, you can stay over for tonight. Come on.” You pull Jungkook up and he stumbles but manages to stop himself from completely falling over. He’s less drunk than you thought, probably just shaken up like you are. You’re not sure if he’s hurt past bruising, but at least his nose has stopped bleeding. At home, you’ll get to take a better look.

You exit through the back door, grabbing your coat and bag and pushing Jungkook towards the subway. He doesn’t say much, on his way there, just silently holds the ice against his face — it’s not going to last long in these temperatures.

You think back, the way that Hyunwoo went from nothing to full-on fist fighting within seconds. It flashes before your eye — Jungkook on the floor under him. Though he too had seemed pretty adamant on giving Hyunwoo a permanent facial.

Once you reach the station Jungkook grabs your hand, ice-cold and wet. You look up at him, his cheek red and a little swollen. “You okay?”

He looks at his feet. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay, let’s just go to my place.” When the train arrives you realise his nose is bleeding again, and motion for him to hold the washcloth up.

Jungkook looks defeated as he sits down next to you. It takes him two entire seconds to lean into your side and nod off. His hair smells nice like he washed it just before he went out. It’s soft, floral maybe even.

As you sit here next to him you realise his hand is still loosely encasing yours, laying in your lap. You never expected Jungkook to just protect you like that. The way Hyunwoo just attacked him, you just hope that he really doesn’t have anything aside from a future bruise. The thought of Jungkook getting hurt because of you is not something you think you can stomach. Even if your ex totally deserved it — maybe you should’ve seen it coming. After all, it had been Jungkook who’d shown you that you deserved better.

When he nuzzles his cheek into your shoulder you realise that better might be him after all. Jungkook has always offered you warmth, a shoulder to cry and lean on.

You gently shake him awake at your stop, and he blushes when he opens his eyes to see you so close. It’s endearing, and you find yourself no longer caring to hide your feelings. You brush the hair out of his face. “We’re here,” you whisper.

Jungkook stumbles after you, sleepily dragging himself up the stairs where he bumps into you again. He’s finally stopped rubbing his eye but it remains a little red. You push him ahead when he wavers and spot scuff marks and a cut on his elbow. It’s worse than he’s letting on.

“Kook, you’re bleeding.” You stop him, twisting his arm to look at it. It doesn’t look to deep and you sigh in relief. The way you’d pulled him has him close to you, almost nose to nose when you look up. “A-are you okay?”

He nods slightly, eyes skimming over your face.

“Okay, we’re almost there.”

Your stomach keeps twisting with the realisation that he got hurt because of you. If it hadn’t been for the guards…Jungkook he’s more than just a friend to you. Even if you never hung out, the steady presence in his life is so important to you. You don’t want to imagine it without him. He texts you almost every day if he can, and maybe it was a good place to start. You feel that you know him as you watch him slump against the wall of the elevator. He knows you. There was nothing physical before you fell.

Jungkook hesitates on your doorstep, looks inside the hall as if something is going to jump out at him.

“Get inside Kook.” You look at him over your shoulder. “I’m going to get a warm towel and some stuff to clean the cuts on your elbows and we—“

You’re muffled by Jungkook pulling you into a hug. Your heart jumps as your cheek is pressed against his chest while he holds you. The washcloth is cold against your back where he still holds it. He rests his chin on top of your head, holding you tight. His chest is warm, and you find yourself pressing even closer — you want to feel this forever. He holds you as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Tears sting the corners of your eyes as you wrap your arms around his waist. All the tension releasing itself it seems. “Kook.”

“I’m sorry, okay. I just — I saw him grabbing you and I saw how uncomfortable you were. All I could think of was protecting you and I should’ve stayed out of it. I only made it worse and I — I can’t imagine what you must think of me now. I got so angry, I didn’t know what I was saying.”

What you think of him? If only he knew.

He presses his nose into your hair, his next words muffled. “Please forgive me.”

Forgive him? That was never a question on your mind, you were never mad at him. Maybe a little upset, but it was nothing he’d need your forgiveness for. Not in your eyes. You’re more upset about him getting hurt than anything else.

“It’s alright. Just sit down so I can make sure you’re okay.”

He hums and affirmative into your hair and plops himself down on the chair after. You quickly return from the bathroom with a clean towel and some antiseptic. Jungkook sits slouched forward a little, it makes him seem smaller than he really is — cuter. There’s still some blood running from his nose and by the small stains on his fingers you know he’s been rubbing it.

“You’ve got to stop touching your nose,” you mumble. “You’re going to get blood all over the place.” You fill a glass with water for him to drink, and knock your knee against his as a gesture. He parts his legs so you can get a closer look at his face.

“Squeeze the bridge of your nose and lean forward.”

“Everyone always says backwards.”

“Forward, Jungkook. And give me your hand.” You grab his free hand and twist it up. This way you get a good look at whatever caught his arm. The cut shallow, mostly dried by now. “You know,” you drawl as you gently clean the wound. “You really shouldn’t do stupid shit like that.”

You clean away the blood from his arm and fingers. He’s shockingly pliable in your grip. “You could’ve really gotten hurt Jungkook.”

“I wouldn’t have let him,” he answers nasally, still leaning forward.

“I’m serious, Hyunwoo would’ve ripped you to shreds.” Jungkook’s other arm is less wounded, but you clean it anyway.

He winces a little when you twist his wrist to check the cut again. “Do I look like I’m going to let an asshole like him just talk to you like that?”

You remove his hand from his nose, tipping his head back to clean his face too. His hand is warm and you find yourself wishing you could hold it for longer. “Still, you can’t just do stuff like that because you care about me. You don’t have to prove it.”

Jungkook grabs your hand again, pulling it away from his face so roughly you gasp and drop the towel to the floor. “Care about you?” he snorts. “You think I did that because I just care about you?” A soft chuckle leaves his lips as he shakes his head. “I don’t know if I haven’t made it obvious enough but…I wake up and go to sleep thinking about you.”

You stare at him, standing between his legs in the light from your kitchen. Jungkook looks at you with so much determination you’re unable to move or even speak. Was that a confession? You purse your lips together.

He sighs deeply. “All I think about is wanting to wake up next to you and make you breakfast and you think I care about you. You’re a fool.”

A fool for him. “Kiss me,” you whisper.

He falters — stops with parted lips and a change of gaze that is so gentle you’re not sure if he heard you properly.

You shake your hand from his grip and place both on his shoulders, leaning in close enough to touch noses. He hiccups, tiny breath puffing out against your lips. You smile. “I said, kiss me fool.”

He needs to hear no more. His lips come up for yours like he’s coming up for air after a long time starved. Jungkook kisses with fervour, gently but with purpose and you sigh into him. You’ve thought about this for so long and it surpasses all your expectations. Your legs dare buckle at the first graze of his teeth against your bottom lip.

Jungkook catches you, manoeuvring you into his lap and taking advantage of your gasp to deepen the kiss. You moan, surprising even yourself, but the sound he lets out in return is worth it. His hands paw at your hips, sliding under your top to touch your skin after yearning for so long. Everywhere he touches, every little sound you make — it’s like it sets him free. He grows bolder with every move.

Every swipe of his tongue into your mouth is devilish, a stark contrast with his previous words. This beats all imagination. Jungkook is too good to be true. His kiss is a little inexperienced, a little experimental, but you take it in stride because he is so eager.

You want him. “Jungkook,” you moan into his mouth that is parted against yours. He pants heavily, hands played out over your back to keep you against him. You feel steadied by him — you need it when he ruts his hips up into yours without warning.

He’s not hard yet but God you’re already feeling the pleasure pool in your own stomach and you don’t want him to stop. You kiss him even deeper, tongue wet and warm and so good. “Fuck.”

Jungkook pulls at your hips and when you settle over his lap properly, you feel him. The jeans-on-jeans contact doesn’t do much for you but the sheer thought of having him underneath you is your undoing. He breaks the kiss to lather kisses down your neck. Open-mouthed and with a little tongue, your fists tighten into his shirt when he grazes his teeth over your pulse point.

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve waited for this,” he speaks into your skin. His nose is pressed against your neck, paused to take you in. As if time is going too fast.

You can’t blame him, you would stay like this forever if you could. It’s the burning between your legs that won’t let you. “Don’t stop.”

He laughs, a puff of warm air that fans out over your chest. When he looks up at you his eyes are darker, the stars in them dimmed to dusk. “Are you sure?”

“Jungkook,” you whine, grinding your hips over his. He stutters and you grin at the feeling of his hardening dick. “I’m already on the verge of soaking through my jeans — yes, I’m sure.”

Strangely, his cheeks flush at your commentary but it doesn’t faze him in the slightest. He kisses back up to your mouth, claiming it as his and kissing you with a little more ease. It’s as if he already learned from two minutes ago. He slows down, hands ghosting all the way down your mode to squeeze at your thighs.

You gyrate your hips, circling him until you’re certain he must be uncomfortable in those tight jeans. Yet, he seems more than satisfied just occupied with your mouth. You could kiss him for days, but you’re so frazzled by him you have to come up for air. Everything he does makes it hard for you to function, and he sniggers as you nuzzle along his jaw to kiss softly at his neck.

“You good?” he muses, fingers combing through your hair.

“Hmm, perfect.”

“Can I eat you out?”

You frown, looking up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. Did you hear him right? Did he ask to eat you out — as if it is the most normal question in the world? As if he just asked you if you like pancakes. You do, and the thought of having his mouth on you…“If you want to.”

“If I want to,” he mocks. Without any warning, Jungkook hauls you up and you squeal when you tip over backwards. You cling to him, gripping at his back and making his shirt ride up. “If I want to, she asks me. I’ve been thinking about it for months — yes I want to.”

Jungkook deposits you on the kitchen table and you‘re not willing to let him go just yet. You seek out his mouth again, warm and comfortable and your kiss-swollen lips want nothing more than his for the rest of the night. Yet, you can already see the sun rising through the curtains behind him.

“I thought about it too.” Your words get muffled with the kiss but you know he hears you from the groan he lets out. A sound that vibrates in his chest — his chest which you feel rise and fall beneath your fingers. He is muscular, and your mouth waters at the thought of seeing him. “Take your shirt off first.”

He obeys, pulling the white material off with one hand. You marvel at him once he’s shirtless, fingers seeking out his skin and trailing down his abs. They’re defined in the best way, just enough for you to feel them move under your touch as his breath hitches. Jungkook really is gorgeous and you find yourself kissing down his chest.

“Hey, hey,” he chuckles again, stopping your fingers that had slipped down to the buttons of his jeans. “I’m eating you out first, so hands off and back on the table.”

You raise your eyebrows at his half-assed command, a snicker on the edge of your lips. “Oh?”

“I said,” he grins, coming nose-to-nose with you. “On your back.”

You stomach flutters but you listen as he parts your legs. The table is cold against your back and it’s not an unwelcome contrast against Jungkook’s hands sliding up your now spread thighs. He squeezes your flesh and you can’t help but thrust your hips up with a whine. “Kook.”

“Impatient are we? Lift your hips for me.” He pops the button of your jeans and slides them down as you lift. There’s a bit of a struggle shucking them off your legs but it brings some laughter when he finally manages. “Damn tight jeans.”

You huff, still on your back. “You’re one to speak, I can practically see your dick outlined from here.”

Jungkook brushes your shirt up a little to kiss right under your belly button — your stomach dips at the soft touch. “It’s fine right where it is. For now, I wanna know what you like.” He waits for your answer, ticking off the time with little kisses and nips around your hip-bones that make you whine in the back of your throat.

“I — I don’t know?”

He looks up with a frown. “He really sucked didn’t he?”

“Well technically, he didn’t… “ You bite your lips in shame.

Jungkook rolls his eyes at you. “You can guide me as I go then.” He resumes his kisses down your stomach, sucking the faintest bruises on top of your thigh. “I want to make you feel good.”

You nod, laying back and enjoying the feeling of just him. The brush of his fingers as he hooks his thumbs into your underwear, the press of his lips to your skin. It seems like he’s mapping you out, tracing your sweetest spots as he pulls off your panties. The cold skin hits you and you shiver.

The first brush of his lips is tantalising, you hold your breath. It’s not a feeling your unaccustomed too but that it’s him is enough to undo you at the first touch. He spreads your folds, a little hesitantly. The tremble in his fingers gives him away and you fight the urge to lean up and look at him. “Keep going.”

He hums, breath warm against your mound. You can feel him staring and it’s exposing, but you can’t close your legs with his shoulders spreading you apart. Jungkook kisses your clit and your muscles tense, again and again until he licks and you let out a soft cry. He has the nerve to smile against you. The pull of his lips is obvious against your core and you lick yours in anticipation.

For a bit, he keeps at it like that, gently licking your bud until you’re certain you're going to break your toes from curling. “I need more,” you whimper. He obliges, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and suckling. It’s tender but so so good and the little breathy moan he lets out when you tangle your fingers in his hair echoes through your core. You sigh, it’s heavenly. He’s patient, taking his time to learn you — unfold you — as you urge him on bit by bit.

His hair is silky smooth between your fingers and you pull lightly. “A little more to the — ah — left — yes!” you cry, head thudding against the wooden surface. You’re moving so much Jungkook has to slide your back up the table a little. His mouth picks up, figuring out what makes you scream and using just that against you. Your stomach is tingling and you’re moaning without shame now.

“Fingers?” he mumbles, looking up at you through his lashes. The sight of his head between your legs, lips shining, eyes dark — it’s too much.

“Yes, gently.”

He chuckles against you again, a little chiming sound as he circles your entrance with the tip of his finger. “Relax,” he whispers, other hand coming down to press your hips to the table. “I’ve got you.” When he slides in you feel every knuckle and you practically suck him in. You’re so wet it takes him little effort to wriggle in another finger. He starts up a slow pace, kidding your thigh in random intervals as he observes your reaction. You can feel his unwavering gaze on you. “Good?”

“Yeah, just — don’t stop.”

“More?”

“N - No. Ah.” You gasp when he curls his fingers up and deeper. He’s so attentive you’re certain he needs no more verbal affirmatives. Right now you’re putty in his hands, shaking and trembling for him. His fingers glide along your walls, rubbing until you clench him tightly. “Jungkook,” you moan.

He knows. He knows because he starts sucking on your clit again like no tomorrow and it’s enough to make you feel the edge of your orgasm. It builds with his movements, tight, languid, just right — you come hard and he edges you through it until you twitching in his grasp. He keeps his fingers inside of you until you finally open your eyes to look at him.

Then, he withdraws them and sucks them clean. His eyes are even darker if that was possible. You know he isn’t done with you yet.

Your chest heaves as you try to grasp reality again. Jungkook looks ravished, standing between your limp, parted legs with two fingers in his mouth. His hair is a mess, right side sticking up from where you’d gripped it so hard. You open your mouth to say something, but it dies on your tongue.

“Are you still with me?”

“Yeah,” you pant, running your fingers through your hair. “When you said you were gonna make me breakfast, this was not what I thought you meant."

Jungkook laughs, lips spreading into a gorgeous smile as he grabs your hands to pull you up. You come chest to chest, mouth to mouth. His tongue parts your lips and you keen at the taste of yourself in his mouth, arms winding around his neck. Your legs wrap around his waist, coarse material of his jeans rubbing against your sensitive centre. Jungkook’s chest is sticky with sweat already and the muscles in his back dance under your fingertips as you caress them.

He is so good, touching every inch of your body while he takes his time kissing you. There are groans dying in the back of his throat and you can feel the twitch in his hips when he brushes against you. Your hand snakes down his chest to his jeans, palming and drawing a curse from him. You trace the outlines of his cock and he caves, forehead falling to yours.

“God please tell me you have condoms because I’m not done with you yet.”

You don’t want him to be. You’re getting wet again just at the thought of having him inside of you. From what he’s shown — from what you can feel right now — he’s not going to disappoint. “In the bedroom.”

He lifts you up, legs around his waist and his hands on your bare ass. With a grunt, he squeezes, manoeuvring you to the bedroom with your guidance that is drowned out in a kiss. You yelp when he bumps you into the corner and he soothes it with a soft caress, laughter erupting from the both of you. He presses you against the wall and you notice the skin of his left cheek is warm. A hiss passes his lips when you grace it.

You pull away to look at him, brushing his hair away from his face. His cheek is swelling a little but the lustful look in his eyes is enough for you to continue. Kissing him, you lightly pull the hair at the nape of his neck. He likes it, you note.

Jungkook lowers you down to the best, carefully so as he lays himself over you. “Take off your top,” he whispers, sitting up on the bed to undo his own jeans. You slide the fabric off your body, discarding it haphazardly along with your bra. He sits and you sling your legs over his lap as you push him back into the covers.

“What — ah.” He sighs deeply as you start kissing down his chest, fingers grazing his nipples. Jungkook is so pliant, chest heaving underneath you as you crawl down his body. He’s straining against his boxers and you appraise his self-control. “Baby,” he drawls, fingers carding through your hair as your lips stop at the edge of his underwear.

You chuckle, teeth nipping at his skin before you draw his boxers down slowly. His cock slaps up against his stomach, the tip wet with precum that had stained his underwear. You curse at the sight of him, fingers coming up to wrap around the base.

He stops you before you can get your mouth on him, hand around your wrist. “Fuck I — I want to come inside of you. Another time.” His breathing is laboured and his flushed state somewhat cute as he looks at you between his legs.

Yet, you can’t argue with him, you do want him inside of you. Sooner rather than later. You crawl back over him to kiss him more, hips settling over his dick. So heavenly, that first skin on skin contact. Both of you moan, heads thrown back as you rub him up and down, wet with your juices now.

“Stop,” he whines. “I really, really want to fuck you.”

You let him flip you over, your back pressed into the mattress. Jungkook’s muscles stand outlined by the faint light in the room, twisting as he reaches for you. His skin is soft and warm and you want to feel it, everywhere.

“Condoms?” he asks again.

“Drawer.” You point and he reaches beside him to retrieve a packet and throw it onto the bed. It seems that neither he not you can get enough of kissing. The soft nudge of him against your thigh is a reminder of what’s about to come.

You’ve fantasised about this so often you should be ashamed. But what can you do when Jungkook looks like half a god, half an angel all the time. You want him to ravish you, to make you his, now.

He falters as you touch him between your legs, stroking him and fumbling to find the condom. “Here,” he grabs it and wastes no time ripping it open. You help him roll it on, eyes trained on the way he twitches at the feeling. He’s hot and heavy in your hand as you guide him down to your entrance. Jungkook has other ideas however, because he pulls your hand away from him to secure it above your head.

You whine when he nudges his tip against your folds but leaves it at that. “Jungkook!”

“I know, fuck, I know. I just — you know this is not just about sex right?” His eyes lighten, brow smoothing out as he searches your yes.

You trace the seam of his lips with a sigh. “I do, but you can tell me everything over breakfast. Actual breakfast. Right now, I really want your dick inside of me, please.”

He smiles, capturing your lips as he presses closer. You feel him collect your wetness, teasing your clit with the tip of his cock. The anticipation gets to you and you fingers slide over his back to pull him closer. His chest brushes yours when he gently kisses down your neck.

The first breach of him stings, and you tighten your legs around his waist. It’s been so long, but it’s so good and you moan at the stretch of him filling you up slowly. You hiss at the delicious burn — Jungkook hears it and withdraws so quickly you yelp. “Hey!” you splutter, pulling him back to you.

“Was I hurting you?” His eyes are wide with concern.

You snicker. “You’re not that big Jungkook, get a grip.”

He whines. “I’m serious!”

“Silly,” you grin, kissing his cheek. “It was good. It’s just been a while, go slow hmm?”

He nods, pushing back in hesitantly. His eyes won’t leave yours, making sure that you’re feeling good. And boy are you feeling good. The way he stretches you is so delicious you can barely keep your eyes open. When his hips are flush with yours he moans, fingers of one hand tightening around your waist. His bottom lip is drawn between his teeth, brow furrowed in concentration.

“You feel so good,” you whisper hotly.

His cheeks heat up and you can’t help but find it endearing. He’s balls deep inside of you and he still manages to be cute and you love it. It’s uncharacteristically him and —

“Oh,” you gasp when he withdraws a little and pushes back in.

He feels so good, the press of his hips against yours every time he bottoms out. Your nails press into his shoulders, keening at the smooth slide of him inside of you. Jungkook moans, a sweet little sound he tries to hold in.

You touch his face, making his eyes snap up at you again. “I want to hear you,” you say.

“Fuck.” He shifts his legs under you. With a new-found goal he lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and he all but folds you in half as he slides even deeper. “God, you’re so tight.” His voice strains as he starts up again, a steady in and out that has you building up fast.

Jungkook keeps thrusting, making sure you feel his hips on yours every time. A tiny little pause to feel himself fully inside of you and it makes him reach so deep your toes curl.

“Faster,” you moan.

He picks up his pace, groaning into your skin as he does. You try to meet his thrusts. His chest vibrates with his moans, they’re delicious and beautiful and you can’t get enough of it — enough of him. The way he draws out and pushes back in has you clenching him tightly, especially when he grazes that spot inside of you. He lurches forward at the feeling.

“There,” you moan, “right there.” He zeroes in, pulling out all the way and slamming back in with so much force you scream his name. Your mouth falls open as he leans up and starts a punishing pace. He’s relentless now what you like, fingers scrambling to get a touch of your chest. A tweak of your nipple, a squeeze of your breast — he gets it all the while you’re coming apart around him.

“Tell me,” he groans after a particularly hard thrust. “When was the last time you were fucked properly.”

You whine, shaking your head. “Haven’t  — ah — so long — you’re doing so good — don’t stop.” Your sentences are broken with every thrust of him inside of you. Your tipping closer to the edge, yet not close enough. It’s been months since you’ve had anything and this is almost too much, you’re paralysed with pleasure.

He laps up your neck, supporting himself on one hand. “Nobody? For that long? Fuck, that’s why you’re so tight.” His words are muffled against the hot skin of your throat as he bites down and soothes the sting with his tongue.

“All I wanted was you.”

He snickers, pace not faltering as he kisses you again. It’s hot and open-mouthed and sloppy as his tongue seeks out yours. You’re overwhelmed with him. He seems to get deeper with every thrust, every sound he makes sending a shiver down your spine.

“I’m close,” he groans. “You?”

You suck the pads of your pointer and middle finger into your mouth — his eyes darken upon the sight. All you need is the slick slide of your own fingers against your clit, quick circles to get you on that edge. “Wanna feel you come,” you whine. “Please.”

Jungkook doesn’t stop, he pushes your leg even closer to your chest and watches you rub yourself as his dick disappears inside of you over and over again. Your stomach is tightening, walls clenching him in tightly.

His hips stutter, falling back over you as he comes undone with a deep groan. The feeling of him twitching against your walls is enough to give you that last push. You shudder apart around him, clenching down hard with eyes rolling back into your head. It seems to last forever as he holds you, gently rolling his hips to ride out his peak with you.

You’re both panting, still entangled as you come down. His hair sticks to his forehead, sweat dripping down his neck and your fingers slip on his skin. You’re stuck to the sheets, looking up at his ravished form as you feel him soften inside of you.

A foreign feeling erupts in your chest as he kisses you softly, just once. A small peck that makes you want to giggle with the overflow of feelings.

Jungkook pulls out carefully, and you know that you’re going to be sore tomorrow. He soothes your skin, rubbing your thigh before letting it down from over his shoulder. It’s so sweet, the way he looks at you and asks you if you’re okay.

You laugh at him, startling him a little. “To be blunt with you. I’ve never came that hard from sex and I want to do it again.”

He scrunches up his nose but blushes regardless. “Again?”

“Again.” You confirm with a yawn.

Jungkook discards the condom, pulling the soiled sheet from under you as you point him towards a clean one in your dresser. He drapes it over the both of you as he settles down beside your still numb form. You can’t believe he made you come so hard that you’re still seeing stars now.

You snuggle into his side despite the warmth of the early morning. “Your cheek’s going to bruise.”

“Worth it,” he grins. “We should’ve done this much sooner. “

“I agree.” You kiss the cusp of his shoulders, drawing tiny little patterns on his chest where his heart beats quickly.

Jungkook shifts, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “So?”

“So?”

“What now?” He bites his lip.

You giggle as you realise his shyness. “Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

A small kiss is pressed to the tip of your nose. “Maybe,” he whispers. “If you want to.”

“Well…” You trail a finger down his stomach. “Maybe I do.”

“Maybe?”

You lean up, kissing him firmly, just once. “Definitely.”

© GguksGalaxy 2018-2020

Special thanks to: @lapysllazuly @jeonkookd @bubypjm @sunshineangelhobi 

Let me know if you guys liked it! <3

@mooniva @flowerymoonlight @lunyua @chimycthulhu @lilacdreams-00 @biblionerd @nininek12 @mrcleanheichou @pakovahayhuha @burgeoninggirl @faithsummers11 @angeltothecore @burntrain @ylevolretsnom01 @lachicayolo @cvbachacbitch @kxkth @d-noona @thethiathang Sorry to those who I couldn't tag <3

[livesincerely]

it’s so easy (too easy) to love you, ch. 1

Also on Ao3

00000

Davey’s just gotten out of class—literally just walked out the door—when his phone starts ringing.

“Davey,” Tony says the moment he answers, not even giving Davey time to say hello, “can you swing by the apartment real quick?”

Davey sighs. “Are you locked out of the house again?”

There’s a guilty silence. Then, “Or maybe I just wanna see you, huh? You don’t know.”

“Tony.”

“Charlie’s the one that lost the spare,” Tony capitulates immediately, there’s an indignant “Hey!” somewhere in the background, “and I left my keys in my locker ‘cause I thought Charlie had his—”

There’s a scuffle of noise, then Charlie’s voice breaks in, “—don’t listen to him Davey, I asked him before we even got on the subway if he had his keys and he said he did but he didn’t even check—”

“—well, I thought you had yours, didn’t I?—”

“—and he was twenty minutes late picking me up from band practice because he was too busy making out with Spot Conlon to come help me carry my stuff—”

“—that was supposed to be a secret you little shit!”

“—you started it!”

Davey pulls the phone away from his ear as the other side of the line descends into a mess of indistinct yelling. He thinks about trying to get their attention, but he decides to just start heading towards the apartment, muting his side of the call while he waits them out—they’ll remember him eventually.

In the meantime, Davey sends a quick text:

Tony and Charlie locked themselves out of the house again

He’s not expecting a response, but Jack must be in-between projects because he gets one almost immediately.

jc again?

And you’re going to have to get a new spare made

fuck okay i’ll take care of it. are you heading over?

I’m walking there now

ur the light of my life dave

Davey can’t help but smile at this, a soft feeling fluttering in his chest. Before he can write back, Jack sends another text:

how did ur midterm go?

I feel good about it! Def did better than I thought it would!

duh youve been living in the library all week ofc ur gonna do great. ill swing by the grocery omw home and pick up some ice cream to celebrate. do we need anything else while im there?

Get a bell pepper and some tomato paste, I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. And we need more laundry detergent.

fuck yes im starving! can we do garlic bread too?

Come home on time and we’ll see.

u drive a hard bargain. kerian owes me a favor so he can stay late tonight lol

“Davey?” The sound of Charlie’s voice, tinny and muffled, prompts Davey to lift his phone back to his ear; it seems like he might’ve been calling Davey’s name for a while. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here,” Davey confirms.

“So are ya comin’ or what?” Tony cuts in, ever impatient. “I’m roasting out here!”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving you to ruminate on your poor life choices,” Davey responds dryly, “but I guess I can come let you in, since you asked so nicely.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Charlie says.

“I’ll be there soon,” Davey confirms.

“Hurry, will ya? Much longer and I’m gonna get heatstroke and die,” Tony declares.

Davey rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Tony.”

00000

When he arrives at Jack’s building some twenty minutes later, Davey finds Tony and Charlie right where he expects them: crowded together in the little bit of shade the roof’s overhang offers, wearing identical grumpy expressions that brighten immediately when they spot him approaching.

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, shooting to his feet. "What took you so long?"

“Stop losing your keys and you won’t have to wait for me,” Davey counters, slotting his key into the deadbolt and hefting open the heavy exterior door. He props it open with his hip and lets Tony and Charlie scurry past him into the AC. “You couldn’t get anyone to buzz you in?”

“Old Man Davis hasn’t gotten his hearing aid replaced yet,” Charlie explains as they climb the stairs up to the second floor, “and Mrs. Ikeda isn’t home.”

“She joined a new book club,” Tony adds. “She won’t be back till late.”

“Oh, I’ll have to ask her about it when I see her next,” Davey muses.

He gets the apartment door unlocked and the boys pile inside, tossing their backpacks down with dramatic groans of relief.  Charlie makes a beeline for his bedroom; Davey expects Tony to do the same but he takes a seat at the kitchen table instead, booting up his laptop with a couple of keystrokes.

“I’ve got a paper due in English tomorrow,” Tony explains. “Can you look it over once it’s finished? Maybe later this evening”

“Of course,” Davey replies. “What’s it on?”

“Lord of the Flies.”

Davey’s nose wrinkles up. “Oh, I hated that one. What’s the essay prompt?”

“Identify Golding’s argument about human nature as proposed in Lord of the Flies,” Tony reads off the top of the assignment outline. “Then make an argument agreeing or disagreeing with his assessment, using evidence from the text.”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Good to see that high school literature classes haven’t changed much in the last few years,” he says with a sigh. “How much have you written so far?”

“Oh, I haven’t even started it yet,” Tony casually rebuts.

“Is everything going okay?” Davey asks, frowning slightly. “If things are getting worse we can make an appointment—”

But Tony waives his concerns aside. “Nah, this is regular old procrastination, not ADHD procrastination. Like ya said, Lord of the Flies sucks ass, so I just didn’t want to write it.”

“Well, let one of us know if you start having trouble,” Davey says.

"Okay, mom,” Tony agrees, somewhat distracted. He’s already got a blank document pulled up on his laptop, a battered and thoroughly dog-eared copy of the book laying open beside him.

Davey looks at him for another moment, then he shrugs and continues making his way into the kitchen—he figures there’s no need to worry unless Racer starts actually missing assignments. And he’s right: Lord of the Flies does suck ass.

By the time Jack gets home they’re each fully entrenched in different activities: Davey’s washed a sink full of dishes and is working on drying the last few pieces of silverware, Tony is still posted up at the kitchen table, carefully hammering out a draft of his paper, and there are the familiar sounds of Charlie working through different musical scales on his oboe in the back bedroom.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jack calls jokingly as he enters. There’s a rustle of plastic and soft thunk of the front door closing behind him, then he comes around the corner into the dining room with an armful of groceries.

“Hey, Jack,” Davey greets absently. He starts rifling through the bags almost before Jack can finish putting them down. “Did you get the tomato—?”

“I got the tomato paste,” Jack says, kicking off his shoes and leaving them in the entryway with all the others, “and I picked up some more of that fancy coffee you like from the place around the corner, even though it’s expensive as all hell.”

“Don’t judge me,” Davey replies, gathering up an armful of vegetables and carrying them further into the kitchen. “You spend a semester grading 'Intro to Shakespeare' homework and tell me how much caffeine you consume.”

“I’m just saying, the rest of us schmucks drink regular coffee and do just fine,” Jack continues. “You can feed your crippling caffeine addiction just as well with Folgers and it’ll cut down on the grocery bill.”

“Watch it, Kelly,” Davey says, pointing a finger teasingly in Jack’s direction. “Smartasses don’t get dinner.”

“‘s that so?” Jack asks with a grin. “Then why the hell are we still feeding Tony?”

“I heard that,” Tony grumbles from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, you were supposed to,” Jack says, moving over to Tony and slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug. Tony bats at Jack’s hand but makes no real attempt to get away. Then Jack says, “So, I hear you and your brother lost another set of keys.”

Tony throws Davey a look of the deepest betrayal. “You told Jack?”

“Of course he did,” Jack says. “Someone’s gonna have to get new ones made, and it sure ain’t gonna be either half of the dynamic duo.”

“Charlie lost the spare,” Tony says, mercilessly throwing Charlie under the bus while he’s not in the room to defend himself. “And I didn’t lose my keys, I just left them in my locker.”

“Uh huh, save it for the judge,” Jack responds, ruffling Tony’s hair. “Just know if I end up having to change the deadbolt, it’s coming outta your subway money.”

“Jackie, leave Tony alone,” Davey comments mildly over Tony’s spluttering protests. “He needs to work on that paper and you’re distracting him.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Tony repeats, a little smug. “You’re distracting me.”

Davey turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. Tony quickly busies himself with his homework.

Davey makes quick work of washing a green pepper and peeling an onion, then starts dicing both into small, neat pieces. He feels more than hears Jack sidle up behind him: the familiar weight of his gaze, the solid presence at his back. He stands there quietly, leaning against the counter-top and just watching Davey cook; unbothered, Davey leaves him be for the moment and moves to the stove, scraping the chopped vegetables off the cutting board and into a pan to start softening.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Davey glances over his shoulder at Jack and says, “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me with this? You know there’s no loitering in my kitchen.”

“Well, I’m nothin’ if not a law abidin’ citizen,” Jack drawls in answer, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He rolls up his shirt sleeves, exposing the long, muscular line of his forearms, and washes his hands in the kitchen sink. “Where do you want me?”

Davey licks his lips. “Think you can handle browning the hamburger?”

“I’m sure I can manage,” Jack responds with a smirk.

Davey steps out of the way, letting Jack take his place in front of the sauce pan while he gets a pot of water set up on a different burner, salting it so it boils faster. They settle into their familiar dinner-routine, moving around and past each other with ease as they work on getting everything ready, chattering idly all the while.

“I’ve gotta head back out this evening,” Jack says at one point, as he sets the tray of garlic bread in the oven to toast. “Johnson’s got me working a night shoot and I have to be downtown by 9.”

“How long is the session?” Davey asks. “Here, will you open this?”

“We’re scheduled for five hours, but we might get to wrap it up early if everything goes well.” Jack’s hand brushes against the small of Davey’s back and they trade places again, Davey stepping back up to the stove-top and Jack rifling around in one of the drawers for a can opener.

“Are ya spendin’ the night or are ya headin’ back to campus?”

“Depends on how much help Tony needs with his paper,” Davey replies, shaking his head. He takes the can when Jack hands it back to him and empties it into the saucepan, then gives the whole thing a good stir. “We might be at it a while.”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “Well, if you do spend the night, go ahead and take the bed. The extra blankets are in the usual place.”

Davey sets down the spoon he’s holding, crossing his arms across his chest. “Jack,” he says warningly.

“Davey,” Jack echoes back in the exact same tone of voice. In the background there’s the faint sound of Tony muttering, “Jesus, not this again.”

“Jack, I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed,” Davey says, rehashing the same old argument for what feels like the millionth time. “I’m perfectly fine taking the couch.”

“Or you could do the smart thing and just take the bed,” Jack counters as he always does. “I’m not even gonna be here to use it.”

“You’ll want an actual mattress when you get home, especially if you’re out late.” Davey argues. “I don’t even have class tomorrow, it’ll be fine.”

“If you don’t take the bed I’ll just carry you in there once I get back,” Jack says, as if that's a perfectly reasonable course of action. “So you might as well save me the trouble.”

Davey sputters. “That’s not— You can’t just— That only happened a couple of times!” he finally gets out.

"Well, actually, it's been more like four or five times," Jack says with a smirk. "But hey, who's counting?"

"That trick won't keep working," Davey grumbles, feeling the back of his neck start to heat up.

“You sleep like a fucking rock, Dave,” Jack says, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t it keep working?”

“No, see, that’s exactly why I should take the couch,” Davey insists. “It’s not like the sound of you coming in will wake me up—”

Jack turns to face him. Davey cuts off, slightly startled—he hadn’t realized they were standing so close to each other.

“Just take the bed, Davey,” Jack all but orders, and those dark eyes with that low voice are a heady combination. “Please?”

Davey bites at his lower lip, suddenly flustered. “Fine,” he reluctantly concedes, hoping Jack will attribute his flushed face to the heat of the kitchen. “Just this once.”

"Thank you," Jack says with a dramatic heave of his chest, looking much too pleased with himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You're letting the garlic bread burn," Davey answers tartly.

"Oh shit—!"

00000

Later that evening, after they’ve all finished eating and have cleaned up, Davey, Tony, and Charlie are still gathered around the table, working on various assignments.

Davey is finishing the readings for his Monday lecture in between helping Tony finalize the exact wording of his essay. Charlie sits opposite him, working through his geometry homework and every so often there’s a huff of breath and the rubbery scratch of an eraser—Davey makes a mental note to swipe some more pencils and notebook paper from the grad lounge when he’s there next.

Davey notices the time and frowns. “Jack,” he calls out, “it’s already 7:30. If you don’t leave soon you’re gonna be late for work.”

There’s a clamor of noise from down the hall, then Jack appears, freshly showered and fumbling to put on his socks and button up a clean shirt at the same time.

“Fuck, Johnson is gonna kill me,” Jack grumbles. He pats down his pockets, then groans. “Christ, has anyone seen my—”

“Your wallet and keys are on the counter by the microwave,” Davey says, pointing. “And take a jacket, it’s supposed to rain later.”

“Great, I’m sure the models will love that,” Jack says with a groan. “Hopefully we’ll be able to get through everything without getting rained out.”

He meanders his way over to the table, peering at Charlie’s homework from over his shoulder. “If Tony is still busy and ya get stuck, text me,” Jack tells him. “I probably won't be able to answer right away, but if ya send me a picture of the problem I can probably talk ya through it between shots.”

Charlie hums his acknowledgment, still scribbling furiously. Jack turns to Tony.

“Listen to whatever Davey tells you about your paper,” he advises. “The only reason I got through undergraduate writing was ‘cause Davey proofread all my shit before I turned it in.”

“I thought I was s’pposed to always listen to Davey,” Tony says distractedly, tongue poking out between his teeth as he types.

Jack pauses, considering. “Yeah, just do that.”

“Jack—”

“Oh, and Dave cooked, so you shitheads better do the dishes, get me?”

“Jack, you’re gonna be late,” Davey cuts in firmly, holding out Jack’s jacket for him.

“Alright, I’m going,” Jack says, shrugging it on, and he finally starts making moves towards the door.

He gives Charlie one last pat on the shoulder and cuffs Tony lightly across the back of the head in a slightly rougher, but no less affectionate goodbye, which is per usual. Then he turns to Davey, tips his chin up, and kisses him right on the mouth, short and sweet.

“Lock the door behind me and don’t forget to—” Jack stops mid-sentence, then turns bright red.

“Um,” says Charlie.

“Holy shit,” says Tony.

Jack’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Finally, he stammers out, “I u-uh— I-I d-didn’t mean—“

Davey doesn’t respond. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to—he’s frozen in place, his mind a sudden wash of static. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then Jack blurts, “gottagoseeyoulaterbye,” and bolts out the front door.

Davey’s not sure how long he stands there, staring blankly into space, utterly dumbfounded.

“Davey?” Charlie asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a strangled, choking noise. A split second later, Davey realizes it’s coming from him.

"...What just happened?"

[aikoeisbon]

hello! i saw that ur requests are open and for levi!! soo i was wondering if i could get one? maybe an argument with him that leads to silent treatment? vv angsty please! thank u in advance 😊❤️ love ur acc btw so i followed hehe

So, I actually had this all typed up on my phone, went to save it as a draft, and it completely got erased. The levels of anger I felt......... so it’s taken me a while to write this one again. Sorry! Alrighty, here goes.

Deafening Silence

Levi x Reader

“You’re staying behind on this mission, Erwin’s orders. That’s final.” Levi informed as he pulled off his boots, preparing for bed. 

“What? Why?! You know how much this means to me, aren’t you going to talk to him about it or something?” You panicked with wide eyes and furrowed brows. Levi sighed.

“I agree with his decision.” He admitted, taking a deep breath as his eyes slid from his discarded cravat to your exasperated expression.

“Why...” You muttered. 

“You overestimate your abilities and get reckless. These aren’t titans we’re fighting this time, brat.”

“Get reckless?! How?! And you know I’d do anything to protect you and the Survey Corps, it doesn’t matter who we’re fighting!” You yelled, your face contorted with frustration. “You won’t even give me a chance to prove myself!”

“Prove what, y/n? How quickly you can get yourself killed?!” He raised his voice as close as you’ve ever heard it to a yell. He glared at you for a brief moment before pulling his shirt over his head and draping it over the back of a chair.

“I’m not going to get myself killed!” You argued, feeling hot tears ebb at the corners of your eyes, begging for release. “You won’t even let me explain-”

“Y/n.” Levi interrupted. “You’re staying.” He declared sternly, his eyes narrowing as he locked his gaze with yours. With his tone of voice, and how angry he seemed to be, you knew his mind was made up, along with the Commander’s. You reflexively clenching your fists, brows furrowing as deeply as you could manage as you reached for your hand.

“If you really think so little of me and my abilities despite how hard I’ve tried...” Your voice shook as you spoke. “Sleep alone.” You stated, removing a silver ring from your finger and placing it on the desk beside you before storming towards the door. Levi’s gaze followed you as you disappeared, the door slamming and echoing in the room as though it was announcing your silence. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hands running through his hair as he stared at the circular piece of metal on the desk- a ring he had given you. He had not predicted that. He knew you would be angry, but he was not the gambler Erwin was. He never would have guessed the levels of anguish you portrayed, the fury you felt to the point you removed your engagement ring. Levi knew better than anyone that you had a empathetic soul and genuine kindness, and he wanted to do everything he could to protect that about you. He was accustomed to the looks of despair that plastered the faces of the people he had run his blade through, and knew that that very look would haunt you for the rest of your days. He had no doubt you would do everything in your power to protect him- he admired that about you, but he knew that your actions would carry guilt you did not have hard enough of a heart to handle. Then again, that was another thing he loved so much about you- your tenderness. As passionate as you were about the things you loved and cared for, you always had a sense of humanity, no matter how enraged you felt. He did not want you to be haunted with the guilt of killing someone, and he feared that because of your morality, you would hesitate at the most dangerous moment- a point where a person is desperately clinging onto life. He did not want to risk losing you because your humanity forced you to freeze and hesitate long enough for you to be vulnerable, but here he was alone in your shared bedroom, faced with the horror of losing you in a different way. This was an internal battle he was ill-prepared for; losing you to the afterlife, or losing his future wife. Either way, he would lose you, but at least in one instance, you would still be alive. His clenched hands and white knuckles tangled furiously into his raven locks, his stare burning into the desk where the ring was placed from beneath his bangs.

You stormed down the corridor that contained the doorways to the captains’ rooms, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. You could not believe what you had just heard from your fiance, and it felt like a punch to the gut. You thought your work ethic, your determination, dedication, and skill, is what caught Levi’s eye in the first place. To know now that he doubted your abilities had you wonder what he thought about you at all. Did he think you were unable to protect him, that you were a burden? Finding out the Commander thought so little of your abilities was tough enough, but to know Levi felt the same was like a blindsiding betrayal. You had done your absolute best to be the best you could be, and if that wasn’t enough for him, you’d never be enough. It was this harrowing realization that forced you to spend hours outside, crying your frustrations out to the point of exhaustion until you finally decided to drag yourself to the barracks. The barracks, with the other cadets, where you felt you belonged rather than snuggled up against the body of humanity’s strongest. After all this time, you still were not good enough for him. At the Survey Corps most dire moment, you would be left behind.

“Y/n? Why are you here?” Sasha inquired, bending over to the level of your bunk on the floor. You opened one swollen eye, peering back at her.

“I needed some space. Don’t worry about it.” You responded to the auburn-haired ‘potato girl’ as you sat up.

“Well, breakfast is ready. Are you coming?” She wondered, in which you replied by dragging yourself out of bed and throwing on a fresh uniform before following her to the mess hall. The others seemed to have been up for some time, and sat energetically engaged in conversation as they ate off their trays. Your eyes stung, you had a terrible headache, and frankly, you weren’t quite hungry, but you went through the motions of picking up your food and sitting with the others anyways. You poked at your pancakes absentmindedly until suddenly your attention was summoned to the side of the room, as if your soul had sensed the man you loved. The pain in your chest fired up all over again the second you laid eyes on the well-built man, his typically tired eyes a thousand times darker than they normally seemed to be. His gaze was trained on you, his steel eyes widening ever so slightly as they met with yours. As badly as you wanted to greet him and give him a good morning kiss, you were immediately reminded, ‘you aren’t good enough for him, he doubts you’ from the argument the night before. You clenched your eyes, tearing your gaze away from him and staring at your food. After breakfast, he approached you as you thought he would. It was somewhat comforting to you, but you refused to allow yourself to think he cared as much as you used to think he did.

“The bed was cold without you.” He commented quietly, staring off at the other cadets but keeping you in his peripheral. You sighed, feeling tears form once more. “I hate upsetting you.” He attempted to reach for you, but you swatted him away. He felt his stomach twist. He stared at you for a moment, desperately searching for any body language that signified you were open to talking to him. “Are you... leaving me?” He questioned, his voice sounding more vulnerable and weak than you had ever heard him. Your heart thudded against your chest, your glassy eyes darting up to meet his. The pain in his voice matched the pain in his eyes. You reached for your hand instinctively, feeling that the ring you cherished was not there, only then remembering you had removed it. The tearful look in your e/c eyes snapped his heart in two, but he had fully convinced himself he would rather you leave him and be alive, than for him to give in, let you come, and die. The two of you shared an anguished look for a brief moment before you turned away, forcing yourself to walk away from him. That action provided Levi his answer, and suddenly, he felt empty.

The following day, the captains around him began to pick up on Levi’s rapidly deteriorating mood. 

“You look like you haven’t slept in days!” Hanji commented aloofly as they serviced their ODM gear. 

“Tch. Shut up, four-eyes.” 

“Seriously, have you eaten? You look sick.” The titan-enthusiast continued. Moblit nodded in agreement.

“Squad Leader is right. I hope you’re looking after yourself.”

“I’m a grown man, get off my ass.” Levi snapped, curling his lip as he spoke. Hanji raised her hands with open palms, snickering as she left the captain alone. The next day, it was predicted that Erwin would be arrested and the mission would begin. Until then, they were packing to begin their descent to a woodland house to carry out experiments with Eren. You, and you alone, would be the only one to seek refuge at the old Survey Corps headquarters. It enraged you, more so at yourself for thinking you were good enough to be trusted by Levi. You began to consider going anyways, but knew there would be no point if nobody cooperated with you.

You assumed Levi was busy as he typically was, and attempted to take advantage of that time to return to your once shared bedroom to retrieve a couple of your things, including the ring. Each time you reached for your hand when thinking of him, you felt your heart shatter all over again as you remembered the broken look he had in his eyes. When you reached the room, you found that the ring was missing off of the desk. You feared, had he sold it already? You leaned against the door, your back sliding down it as you sat on the floor, bawling into you arms as you pulled your knees against your chest.

Levi had spent the past two days grueling over his decision and the anguish you were experiencing. He never wanted to be the reason you were this upset- he only wanted what was best for you. He could not bear watching your life slip through his fingers. He wondered where you went the night you walked out on him- and although he knew you would never go to another man, for otherwise he never would have proposed, he couldnt help but feel fleeting anxiety at the thought of it. He was drowning in guilt and had no idea what the answer was to this situation, but he knew that he could not begin the mission like this, with a mind as distracted as his. At the very least, he’d need a clear answer. He felt for the ring in his pocket- the cold metal tapped the warm metal on his own finger. Were you really leaving him? Would this ring mean nothing anymore? The anxiety he felt was plaguing him. He quickly wrapped up his maintenance and returned to his quarters, where he would write out a letter explaining his concerns and intentions, that he hoped would heal your pain while he was gone if you refused to talk to him before then.

As he went to enter the room, he found the door heavier than usual. On the second attempt at opening it, he found it returned to it’s normal weight, only to see you sitting on the floor with red eyes a few feet away. The sight of you crying so much compelled his body to move reflexively. He pulled you up from the floor and into his arms, his heart thundering against his ribcage as he held the warmth of your trembling body against him. He craned his head into your neck, inhaling your sweet scent and brushing aside your hair. He felt you murmur against him, in which he allowed a bit of distance between your two bodies so that you could repeat yourself.

“Did you s-sell it?” You stuttered between sobs. He furrowed his brows, holding your face between his hands. You read the confusion on his face, pointing to the desk where the ring once was. “Did yo-you sell it?” His eyes followed your finger, and once he realized, he immediately corrected his posture and reached into the pocket of his dark-green coat. He opened his palm, holding it out to you. You felt a wave of relief wash over you as he held out your ring, still wearing his own. You curled his hand up between your own, sobbing against his chest. He felt physically pained with how hurt you were. He never intended to make you this upset.

“I can’t lose you, y/n.” Levi breathed, kissing the top of your head. “I can’t risk losing you to some piece of shit. I know you’re good, but you’re too good.” He admitted.

“Good?” You replied curiously, still crying.

“Good-natured, good-hearted. You are good with ODM gear, you’re skilled with titans. It’s this heart of yours...It’s too good to be killing people.” He placed a hand over where your heart would be, wrapping his other arm around your waist. “Pieces of shit like me would take advantage of a kind heart like that. One moment’s hesitation ends up being your last.” 

“That’s why you don’t want me to come?” You questioned with doe-eyes. 

“Yes.” Levi answered earnestly, wiping away your tears with his thumb.

“What about Commander Erwin?”

“I asked him to make you stay. You wouldn’t listen if it were just me.” He confessed. You blinked away your tears, sighing shakily.

“...I thought I wasn’t good enough... for you. I thought you all were doubting me. I.. I’ve tried so hard to prove myself, and... and...” You stammered, beginning to sob once more. Levi shook his head, dropping to one knee and pulling your hand into both of his. 

“You’ve proven yourself to me in more ways than I can count. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t even consider marrying you.” Levi glanced up at you, his eyes sincere but fatigued. “I don’t just consider marrying you. I dream of it. I desire it- desire you.” He slipped the ring back onto your finger in a fluid motion that made your heart soar. “Marry me, Y/n. Never leave me.” 

#levi #levi ackerman #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi x reader

[stolethekey]

i close my eyes, let it surround me

COMIN’ IN HOT THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DEADLINE HERE WE GO

this is for @397bartonstreet, who asked for something about amy knitting jake a scarf pre-relationship and it being his favorite thing in the world bc he's already lowkey smitten with her. what a concept honestly it took me so long to just wrap my head around how incredible that idea was.

and shoutout to the team at @b99fandomevents for hosting yet another successful event! these things are not easy to do well and y’all do it consistently. thanks for providing a platform for us writers to share our work and make some new friends. 

anyway. you can read this on ao3 here. enjoy!

-

Amy loves the fall.

It’s the perfect season, really – the crisp air is a welcome reprieve from the swampy New York summer, but it’s not the unbearable cold of December, either. It’s a season of scarves and sweaters but not snow boots, of morning walks with a warm coffee in hand but no need for mittens.

It’s also flu season.

And while Amy hasn’t gotten the flu in ten years (flu shots and home remedies, baby!), she takes a sort of strange satisfaction in watching her coworkers succumb to the illness. It’s not that she enjoys their pain – she doesn’t, no matter what Rosa mutters under her breath every year – but this perfectly benign illness is a way for her to finally take care of her colleagues without them complaining.

She likes to take care of people. And flu season is her time to shine.

The only annoying thing about flu season is that Jake somehow also never gets sick. This is a phenomenon, she thinks, that is inexplicable by the known laws of nature, much like platypus eggs or the horizon problem. It is patently unfair that he remains healthy (to use the term loosely) on a diet of sour candy and orange soda, whereas she has had to concoct a careful schedule of Vitamin C and ginger broth to stave off the flu.

In any case, Jake never gets sick. And no matter how unjust Amy believes that to be, every November sees the two of them become the only constants in the bullpen.

So, when she walks into the precinct the second week of November to see his desk empty, the uncomfortable surprise that jolts through her body is completely reasonable. It is completely reasonable for her to badger Captain Holt for her partner’s whereabouts, and upon learning that he is sick, it is completely reasonable for her to hole herself away in the evidence lockup and call said partner.

Jake picks up on the third ring, his voice sounding muted through the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Amy says, feet shuffling restlessly against the floor. “Holt said you called in sick.”

He gives a weak murmur of assent. “I think I have the flu, or something? I’m so congested and my whole body is cold and I think I have a fever? I can’t really tell.”

Amy feels her eyes narrow. “You’re never sick.”

“I know,” Jake says sourly. “Guess my good luck ran out.”

A faint, triumphant smile starts to make its way across Amy’s face. “So, what you’re saying is – I beat you.”

Jake groans. “Don’t let it go to your head. I personally think the fact that I lasted as long as I did is impressive, considering you spent hours of your time trying to prevent the flu and I just coasted and did nothing.”

Amy’s grin grows wider as he keeps going. “If anything, I think I am the true winner, because I invested less time and still got just as far. It’s about the return on investment. I got an equal return on zero investment.”

“You did not get equal return. I’m not sick. Which means I got more return.”

Jake snorts. “Details.”

“Make fun of my methods all you want,” Amy says loftily. “I get results, boy. Which is why you are currently sitting at home, miserable and cold, while I am working a double homicide.”

A high-pitched whine comes through the receiver, and Amy laughs. “Bye, Jake. I have a murderer to catch.”

She doesn’t talk to him again until later that day, when her phone lights up with a text.

From: Jake Peralta amy help i think it’s getting worse 2:34 pm

She feels a twinge of pity as she types her response.

To: Jake Peralta yes, it does that sometimes 2:35 pm

From: Jake Peralta can u give me some of ur weird home remedies pls i promise i’ll stop making fun of them 2:37 pm

To: Jake Peralta you just called them “weird” 2:38 pm

From: Jake Peralta :( 2:38 pm

From: Jake Peralta ok starting now 2:39 pm

From: Jake Peralta please I think I’m dying 2:45 pm

Amy sighs as she glances at his empty desk, mentally calculating the time it’ll take for her to drive home after her shift and gather her things.

To: Jake Peralta Fine. If you can stay alive for three more hours, I’ll be there at 5:40. 2:47 pm

From: Jake Peralta always so specific (ur the best thank u) 2:48 pm She shows up at his door at 5:40 sharp, two plastic bags in her arms. Her instinctual sarcastic comment dies on the tip of her tongue as the door opens to reveal a disheveled, very-clearly-just-asleep Jake.

“Oh,” she says, taking in his knotted hair and deathly pale skin. “I mean, hi.”

“Yeah, it’s bad,” he grumbles, his voice muted. “Come in.”

He shuffles aside, socked feet sliding against the floorboards, and Amy steps into his apartment.

She notes with some surprise that the floor is mostly bare, uncovered by dirty clothes, and a quick glance reveals no empty take-out containers on the coffee table. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your place is…surprisingly clean.”

Jake coughs weakly behind her. “I tried to shove some stuff into the cupboards before you got here,” he says, shutting the door. “I know you hate mess.”

Something very unwelcome swells in Amy’s chest as she sets her bags on the counter. “Oh my God, Jake, you really didn’t have to, you’re clearly so sick –“

“Mmm, ’sfine,” he mumbles, turning toward the bedroom. “I’m gonna sleep now. Make yourself at home.”

“Oh,” Amy says again. “I mean, yeah, of course, you need it – I’ll set up here and wait for you.”

“You’re the best.”

She laughs, he gives her a weak, soft smile, and with that, he disappears into his room, leaving her to rifle through her bags in an attempt to bury the flurry of butterflies in her stomach.

-

When Jake wakes, it takes him a minute to remember that he’s not alone.

It’s a good thing that he remembers when he does, because walking mostly naked into the hallway while his colleague whom he respects very much and may or may not have a tiny crush on is rustling around in his kitchen is absolutely not something he wants to do, no matter how sick he is.

He doesn’t completely remember taking his clothes off, but he guesses somewhere in between him sliding into bed and now, his fever made him go from freezing cold to unbearably hot and that’s why his sweatpants are currently lying abandoned on the floor. He pauses to pull them back on, and as he grabs his T-shirt off the foot of his bed he notes with some relief that he feels somewhat more like himself.

Amy is perched on his couch when he enters the living room, and the gentle kindness in her eyes as she looks up makes his heart clench.

He clears his throat, determinedly trying to focus on something else. “Are you knitting?”

Her eyebrows scrunch together as she looks him up and down, the needles stilling in her hands. “Are you really in a position to be making fun of me right now?”

“I’m not making fun of you,” he says hastily, holding his hands up. “Just – observing. Is that a scarf?”

“It’s going to be, yeah. Good eye.”

He smiles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It’s really good. Honestly. I love that shade of blue.”

She returns his smile, and for a moment he thinks that maybe he could get used to this, that maybe he likes the sight of her snuggled comfortably into the side of his couch.

Amy coughs. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better,” he answers, making his way into the kitchen to hide the blush that’s spread onto his cheeks. “Did you bring those magic cures you promised?”

“Yeah!” She jumps almost excitedly off the couch, laying her half-finished scarf on his coffee table. “Here, let me set it up.”

She hurries past him and starts untying the top of a plastic bag he hadn’t noticed initially. “I actually ordered you some soup and bread – I brought you some meds, too, but you should have something in your stomach before you take them.”

A large plastic tub emerges from the bag, and she grins. “Lucky you – it’s still hot.”

He takes it with a murmur of thanks, and she shoves him toward the table. “Go eat that. I’m gonna prep.”

The soup is heavenly, although Jake isn’t sure it’s possible to mess up chicken noodle soup, and as he tears into the bread he sneaks a glance at Amy.

A pot of liquid is boiling on the stove as she chops something on his cutting board, and as he watches her maneuver easily around his kitchen he feels a curious sense of longing start to rise in his chest.

“Okay,” she says, and his head snaps up. “Push that soup to the side. The goal here is to minimize steam loss, so I’m gonna brief you now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She rolls her eyes, but the authoritative tone remains in her voice when she continues. “When I slide this bowl in front of you, you’re going to lower your face so that it’s immediately above the liquid. And then you’re just gonna breathe it in.”

“Like the way pop stars steam their vocal cords.”

“Sure. Yes. Ready?”

He nods, she pours the liquid from the pot into the bowl, and before he can react, his face is directly above a translucent, brownish-orange broth and a towel is being draped over his head.

“Are you kidnapping me?”

“It’s to keep the steam in. Shut up and close your eyes.”

He does, breathing deeply, and immediately starts coughing. “Wha – what is in this?”

“Don’t move!” Amy says indignantly, her voice muffled through the towel. “It’s apple cider vinegar, ginger, garlic, echinacea, and some peppermint. It should help with the congestion and clear some stuff up.”

“It’s spicy!”

Amy laughs. “You’ll get used to it. Keep breathing.”

He falls silent obediently, and as they lapse into a comfortable quiet he starts to feel it again.

The flu is definitely messing with his brain, but a part of him never wants to be sick without her again. Maybe she could take care of him every time he’s sick or hurt or sad. Maybe he could take care of her, too. Maybe he wants the comfort she brings when she’s here. Maybe her coat could find a permanent place draped over his armchair. Maybe it could stay – and maybe she could stay –

“Okay,” she says suddenly, making him jump almost guiltily. “It’s been like ten minutes – how’s the temperature?”

“Um, good,” he says, forcing his voice to remain casual. “It’s pretty lukewarm, actually. Not much steam left.”

Her voice says, “I think you’re done, then,” and then the towel is yanked off his head and he’s blinking in the bright lights of his living room.

She whisks away the bowl before he even has a chance to react, sliding it onto his countertop with a little flourish. “You can reuse that up to three times – it’ll probably still be good tomorrow. Just re-boil it. I’ll text you the full recipe for when you need to make more – you should probably do this twice a day until you feel better.”

“Um, okay. Thanks.”

She gives him a small smile, then passes him a handful of pills and a glass of water. “Take ‘em.”

He swallows them obediently as she holds up a pill organizer. “I’ve put a week’s supply in here, so you don’t have to figure out how much to take. You should be almost back to normal by the time it runs out, but if not, I’ll give you more.”

He gives her a petulant frown. “I’m not an old man.”

She snorts. “Don’t get sick and beg me like a baby, then.”

He laughs, and she smiles, wringing her hands almost nervously. “I think that’s mostly it – so, um, I’ll head out, let you get some rest – I’ll leave my peppermint and echinacea for you to use, I have plenty at home – ”

“Wait,” he says, much too quickly. “Do you – would you want to stay? I mean, if you’re busy, I totally get it, I just – I’m actually kind of sick of lying in bed all day, and, um, I’d love some company – I read an article about this documentary on cubism we could watch – “

“You’d watch a documentary about cubism with me?”

He gives her an embarrassed smile. “You brought me soup. It’s the least I can do.”

She blushes slightly and rolls her eyes. “Technically, Paul from Postmates brought you soup.”

“Then give me his number and get out of my house.”

Amy laughs, lively and bright, and Jake’s heart soars.

“Fine,” she says, pouring herself a glass of water. “But I’m finishing my scarf as we watch it.”

“Deal.”

And maybe it’s just a coincidence, maybe it’s fate, but when the precinct’s annual Secret Santa rolls around and Jake tears open the wrapping paper to find a familiar, hand-knit blue scarf, he can’t help but feel like the world is trying to tell him something.  

Or, maybe, one person is trying to tell him something.

And as he walks into the bullpen the next morning with his new scarf warm and secure around his neck, he finds it really, really hard to tell the difference.

[justmikerrss]

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

[frywen-babbles]

Sounds of Silence pt1

A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3

Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.

***

At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.

The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.

A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.

Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.

Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.

Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…

*****

He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.  

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.

"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"

"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"

"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"

"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."

"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.

"What was that?"

"I'm studying!"

When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.

He could wait for that long.

Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.  

He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.

A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.

As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.

Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.

He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.

[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life? [23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?

He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.

[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now? [23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya [23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life [23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know? [23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out [23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now? [23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve [23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths [24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy. [23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite

He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.

"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.

"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.

[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day [23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn [23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new. [23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow. [23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up [23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night! [23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.

***

Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.

[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.

He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.

[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go? [13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect. [13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?

His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.

[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her. [13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away. [13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.

He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.

[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard. [13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.

He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.

[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already [13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard [13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand [13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has. [13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know [13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst [13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b [13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me [13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.

He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.

Like countless times before.

He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.

“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.

“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.

“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”

Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.

"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."

His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.

"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."

He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.

"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"

"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.

He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.

He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.

[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home [14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again. [14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe [18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office. [14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no [14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry [14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn? [14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.

At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.

When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.

"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.

'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'

She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.

'I'll read this next'

When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.

There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.

'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.

[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself. [16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly? [16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do? [16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary [16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing. [16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me? [16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.

***

"She's not here today."

Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.

"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.

"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?"

Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.

"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."

Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.

'Sign language for beginners'

He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.

Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.

At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.

***

[hotdadlicense]

ahh for my dearest zhenya @fapfapfashion lover! heres that bfu post i said id make for you like monnnnnths ago i PROMISE i never forgot! just :(:( life. but anyway this was FUN i love youuuu! disclaimer: im not rly in the fandom this is all stuff i see through like just some friends reblogging stuff every now and again and whenever i go to the tag to find stuff sometimes but ANWAY I HOPE its semi coherent <3<3<3 love YOU.

OKAY I FEEL LIKE i said YEH ILL MAKE YOU A MASTERPOST FUCK YEAH but now im like hmmm making a buzzfeed unsolved masterpost is.......not that much cos its like? all there on their youtube channels like its not like music or stuff where theres yknow albums! singles! unreleased songs! special live performances! music videos! documentaries! band info! like its all over on buzzfeed multiplayer youtube and buzzfeed unsolved network youtube but whatever i can ramble about dumb shit and link some stuff so ayeee.

heres the links to the actual videos:

SUPERNATURAL

+ season one // two // three // four // five

+ supernatural: postmortem

TRUE CRIME

season one // two // three // four

+ true crime: postmortem

all eps in order (including postmortem)

personal favs

a vid that bab @chantillystars linked me and i watch it every time im feelin not fresh so i can smile

someone elses better done video round up master post! op ur incredible

now under the cut cos i realy did ramble :(

okay so THE HOSTS!

RYAN BERGARA (insta//twitter)

the fucking creator and inventer of bfu its his baby and im so proud of him and how far its come <3

when the season finale of the latest supernatural premiered it trended at number 1 over the fucking new lion king trailer and he got emo on twitter and insta about it and i cried a lil bit

fucking loves sports basketball or whatever themeparks popcorn and paddington bear

not scared enough of ghosts to not sleep in a haunted house but is scared enough that he absolutely will scream the whole entire time that he is in said haunted house

first ghost encounter was on the queen mary when he was a teenager. the ghost knocked his toothpaste of the shelf and he freaked. and now he has shat his pants at every bump in the night since. icon!

works his ass for to produce mass amounts of content for us like its fucking insane? all up there are like 9 seasons of bfu plus post-mortems and its only been going since 2014?? plus everything else hes got happening??

rly sweet and funny but like in a frat boi kinda way but like. a frat boi you could trust?

SHANE MADEJ (insta//twitter)

wasnt actually the original cohost!

(BRENT was the orignal host but had to beg out a couple episodes in cos he was juggling too many commitments so which fair!)

ryan and shane were desk partners and longtime buzzfeed pals that ? if i remember correctly? interned together back when they first started?

ryan turned to shane one day and was like ‘yo, wanna cohost this show with me?’ and shane was like 'sure.’ and honestly trying to picture it now without shane?? okay ryan and shane just bounce off each other so well theyre like a dream team. god bless them being desk buddies and work pals.

shanes a freak

does not believe in ghosts spirits orbs and all things that go bump in the night like he seems to genuinely want to but like. science and his big ass brain wont let him.

very smart! can rly work a patterned floral shirt! or plaid! kinda gives a dad vibe in glasses but then he talks and its like okay please never supervise a child!

v into history! so much so that he has his own lil show on buzzfeed aka:

RUINING HISTORY

stars him along with ryan and sara (his beautiful and smart and talented gf who also works at buzzfeed <3) with some other ever changing cohosts

hes also responsible for The Hot Dog Saga aka THE HOTDAGA and i know there are people that adore it but! in their own words! id rather walk into the sea.

ryan, too, hates the hotdaga and i feel like this was? about the hotdaga after shane sung something fuck if i remmebr

RYAN + SHANE

these gifs are from the ?second ep? i saw of them honestly it rly sums up the ryan/shane dynamic i guess

but like. the way ryan looks and laughs whenever shane says something mildly funny? hearteyes mutherfucker

above when i said shanes a freak? yeah.

ryan letting shane live as long as he has? true friendship

whenever theyre at the lil desk in their lil basement talking cases shane just talks shit and ryan just lets him and i fucking love them

the LAST FRAME

oh one time they lucked out with a hotel that had a jacuzzi tub <3

yknow what? this was actually kinda sweet. like yeh bitch

shane madej: nations greatest tragedy.

i can hear this in my head just looking at these gifs and it makes me laugh everytime and thats BAD cos a child fucking died

shanes a freak pt.2

OH SHIT one time in postmortem they joked that brent was coming back and shane was leaving and fuck? they had to actually address that it was a joke fUCK

its not all shittalking and screaming there really is some fond and happy shit too

bfu most recognisable and iconic line.

shanes hottest pick up lines when hes on site

the comments on the video for this ep about this part are fucking hilarious please read when you watch that ep

okay its common knowledge that shanes a demon which ill tlak about in a sec but THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE? ryans the fucking demon. like the way hes just standing there, hands clasped behind his back, giving shane (whos acting like a CHILD) that Look? demon bout to kill the dumbass chillin at a haunted house on halloween. come to collet a soul or 10. magical!

OKAY SO SHANE TALKS SOME BIG GAME IN THE EPS but HIS love for ryan will always melt my heart like HE LOVES and cares about ryan so much and supports buzzfeed unsolved so much and whenever things get dumb on social media shanes ready to call it out and make a post or just like. praise ryan (like he rightfully deserves) and yeah im emo about it anyway hes shane being cute part one and heres shane REALLY FUCKING going all out (!!!!!!!!!!.meme)i LOVE him also being cute part two

‘id walk into the sea.’

shanes a freak pt.3

ryan: “Are ghosts real?” shane: *this dumb face*

NERDS

i laughed for like 10 minutes the first time i watched this part thankyou shane

THEM LAUGHING TILL THEY CRIED ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DIED PLAYING THE PIANO

a real insight to shanes mind

ryan really puts up with this

shane got a bowlcut once just for funsies like okay youre no joba but good job i guess

TROPES/ICONIC MEMES/WAHTEVER:

shanes a demon

+ free real estate.meme

+ the office.meme

+ he aint right

+ JALDSHFK FUCK

+ ryan acknowledging that shane is a demon thankyou

+ like the good thing about having a guest fill in on the few times shanes been away has been ryan always being like okay so the demons not here so lets just acknowledge That

goatsman bridge

+ the video that started all this aka the one you reblogged hehhehe

+ what a fucking JOKE

+ an absolute JOKE

+ bridge owner fuck OFF

+ ksdjhfgjhsdkj.meme

sallie house

+ shane was insufferable this episode i fell in love for real how did ryan LIVE

+ like imagine trying to feel your heart beating while fucking shanes over there doing That

+ rock n roll buckaroo

+ swell has become apart of my daily vocal i hate

bobby mack

+ ‘hey there demons. its me, ya boi.’

+ ‘and frankly i dont believe in you, so i feel like im writing a letter to santa claus right now.’

+ tweet.meme

+ overall a great ep

+ can shane calm the fuck down okay i need ryan to make it out of this SAFELY and ALIVE

father thomas

+ ryans FACE also shane being that annoying sibling to ur parents

+ father thomas really went into this thinking he could help these boys to be fair shane was taking notes. ryan was just? dying inside

+ freak

+ imagine being like a 70 yr old priest hearing some dudes walking into ur congregation and overhearing ‘jesus said chill.’

bigfoot

+ ryan does not rly believe in bigfoot but shane does so like you win some you lose some

+ in the least shippy way possible this epsiode is ultimate soft gays going on a hike

+ like its just such a sweet domestic ep

+ <3

+ just happy babbey

[shestillhasherquill]

At the Heart of Darkness (6/11)

First off, thank you SO much for all the likes and reblogs, and the lovely comments and messages. The only best use for DMs. I love you, and I’m sorry.

YOU GUYS. THIS FUCKING CHAPTER I SWEAR TO GOD. This chapter is the reason I signed up for @captainswanbigbang. This is the reason I wrote this fic. It has my most favorite scenes, it has my most favorite writing. I wrote this with so much glee.

@sambethe‘s artwork for this chapter melts my heart. It’s such a tender moment, and it’s just so - It’s SO important, and you will see why. She’s captured it so well, I legit teared up a bit. It’s perfect, and so is the banner and the artwork she did for chapter 2!

Wait till you see what @downeystarkjr has in store for you guys in her video for this chapter, and basically for the whole fic. It’s the best, it’s so cool. and it teases what’s about to come up in the second half of the fic. Make sure you check out the first one if you haven’t already! Whew, I can’t believe we’re halfway there.

And this fic wouldn’t be halfway decent with @accio-ambition and her yelling and her amazing editing and being overall the best beta ever. JSYK, she yelled at me a lot for this chapter, and so did @sambethe.

Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.

Rating: M

Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel (I would heed these warnings a lot this chapter. Esp the angst, not so much Gothel)

Prologue: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 2: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 3: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 4: tumblr ao3 ff.net

Current Chapter: ao3 ff.net

Chapter 5: Summer lasted for so long

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma drifted into consciousness in stages. First, it was voices that she heard, bits and pieces of conversation. They came and went, but it was always just two, always the same two. A man and a girl, her baby voice standing out to Emma in the moments she was lucid enough to hear clearly. But beyond that, not much registered in her mind.

Second was very brief moments of actually opening her eyes and catching a glimpse of her environment. Concerned blue eyes swam in her vision each time. Sometimes it was accompanied by the man’s voice. But most of the time, it was the girl’s. She had blonde hair, Emma noted, before she would drift back into a dreamless state.

The third and final stage was, of course, full consciousness and awareness. That did not happen all at once, or for long, at first. But she remembered who the people were - Killian and Alice.

When she had finally come out of her state of unconsciousness and back to the land of the living, it had been quite dark. Her entire body felt stiff and her throat was bone dry. She spied Killian sleeping at the foot of her cot, but could not call out. She barely mustered up enough energy to reach for the jar of water, but even that, she was too weak to hold up and dropped it. At least it served in rousing Killian.

He sat up quickly, looking endearing even when he was sleep rumpled and his hair was all over the place. “Emma?”

She was taken aback when he rushed to embrace her, his arms tight around her as he squeezed her shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re awake, love. You gave Alice and I quite the scare.”

Emma wanted to reassure him, maybe return his embrace. But she could already feel how much the little activity had exhausted her. She pointed to the water, looking bashfully at the mess. But Killian waved off her wordless apology, fetching her a fresh glass of water and even helping her hold the glass when her hands shook.

When her throat finally felt like it wouldn’t just crumble to dust, she finally spoke. “Thank you,” she croaked out. “How long have I been asleep?”

Killian’s brows pulled together, looking almost bemused by her question. “Love, you’ve been in and out of sleep. You were ill for a while before that. It’s been a little over a week, Emma.”

Emma’s eyes widened; this had never happened to her all the other times she had used her magic. Well, that explained the weakness she felt. “Help me sit up?”

Killian nodded, gently pulling her into a seated position and bringing her blanket up with her. “How do you feel, Swan?”

Emma sipped her water, composing herself and trying to think of all the questions she wanted to ask. “Uh, a little weak. What happened?”

Killian sucked in a deep breath, looking down at his feet. “You overused your magic, to save  Alice’s life. You drained yourself, Emma. Madam Adeline said you might have weakened your heart.”

Emma swallowed thickly, unable to comprehend what Killian just told her. That could not be possible. All she did was use her magic. And she told him that.

“Madam Adeline told me that your magic - because it’s light magic - is not limitless. You can never do that again, Emma,” he told her fiercely. “It could be fatal.”

“What?” she scoffed, almost laughing. “You must be joking, Killian. I’ve never heard of this.”

He stared at her incredulously. “Oh, let me assure you. I am not jesting. You need to be more careful with your magic, Emma. I don’t wish to see you like that ever again. Is that understood?”

Emma was flabbergasted by the distress she could hear in Killian’s voice. Perhaps she ought to reconsider how serious the situation was before she dismissed it. She reached for the arm closest to her, which turned out to be his left one. “I’m alright now, Killian. I promise. How is Alice?”

“Oh, she’s fit as a fiddle, thanks to you and Madam Adeline,” he grinned. “She’s asleep now, but she has not left your side in days.”

Emma’s eyes welled with unbidden tears, and she let out a watery chuckle, embarrassed to be crying in front of Killian. “I’m sorry. I’m just - I’m not used to-” She struggled to formulate the gratitude and affection she felt. “So, I - I nearly - what? Died?” she asked bluntly,  indelicate about her own life. That could not honestly be the right way to think about her life, could it? For she could feel the fear lodged between her ribs like a real pain. She could feel it threatening to burst forth and consume her. But she could not allow that.

Killian, on the other hand, seemed quite alright expressing his true emotions; he looked downright devastated at how flippant she sounded. “Aye,” he replied, his words cutting. “You did nearly die. It’s not something to jest about, and yet, that is what you have been doing, Emma. You cannot be so callous about your life.”

“Well, forgive me, but no one had cared whether I lived or died for years!” Emma burst out, her anger propelling everything she had pushed down. “I don’t have my parents. I don’t have my family. I left everything behind, Killian. So what if I died? It would have saved Alice. Who cares?” She was quick to deflate, her outburst taking away most of the energy she had left.

Emma resented the words the moment she said them. She did not want Killian to see her like this: vulnerable, open, and broken. He was looking at her in the way everyone did at her parents’ execution - helpless and pitiful.

“Do you honestly think that no one would care if something were to happen to you? Because I bloody would. Alice would. We would be devastated, you daft woman.” Killian had started off very quietly, but his tone rose as he spoke until he was nearly shouting at her. “I care very much whether you live or die, Emma!” he exclaimed.

“Why would you? I’m nobody!” she snapped back, unable to help her impulses.

“Bloody hell, Swan. When I said you belong here, I meant it. You’re our family. And we are yours. There’s nothing you could say or do that would change that.”

Emma was stunned speechless by Killian’s outburst. She had been overwhelmed when he had told her that she belonged with them, when he had asked her to stay. But calling her family, giving her that position… it left her breathless. She did not even realise she has started crying until Killian reached to wipe them away. She was almost startled by his gentle touch; their gazes met and Emma could see the depth of his sincerity.

“Killian, I- I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, unable to tear her eyes away from his. She felt like she had been drowning for so long and had finally come up for air.

“You don’t have to say anything, Emma,” he whispered, drawing closer. He gave her every opportunity to pull away, but she did not. Their lips met in a tender kiss, barely a graze before he pulled away. “Emma, I am so-”

“Shh, don’t apologise,” she murmured, drawing him closer by the collar of his shirt. Their second kiss was much more heated, Killian only drawing away out of concern for Emma. But he did not go far, their foreheads still touching.

“That was-” he began, only for Emma to finish his sentence.

“- a long time coming.”

He chuckled, pulling away and returning to his seat.

“I’m glad to see you doing well, Swan.”

She leaned heavily on her pillows, suddenly feeling extremely tired. “I don’t want this night to end,” she whined, her eyes drifting closed despite herself.

“Sleep, darling. I’ll be here when you wake up. And so will Alice,” he promised, lifting her hand in his own and pressing a feather light kiss to her knuckles.

-/-

Present Day: Land without Magic

Emma leant against the doorway to Killian’s room, watching him pack for their trip. Emma wasn’t sure how to tell him to leave his things behind, not when some of them clearly meant a great deal to him. “You needn’t pack clothing, Killian,” she said laughingly, as he seemed to be contemplating which of his shirts to take.

“You don’t expect me to wear the same thing every day do you?” he asked, raising a lone eyebrow at her. “Because that would be disgusting.”

“You could wear the clothes of our realm,” she offered, shrugging her shoulders.  “A shirt and some trousers. Shouldn’t be that hard to find.”

“No offense, Swan, but I would be far more comfortable in my own clothing. It’s - it’s quite silly,” he confessed, looking down at his shoes and scratching the back of his ear. “I dislike wearing someone else’s clothing. It’s a pet peeve of mine.”

“What does your pet have to do with your clothing?” Emma asked, confused by Killian’s terminology.

“Nevermind,” Killian chuckled. “I just find it uncomfortable to wear clothes that aren’t my own.”

“Fair enough.” She looked around his sparse room, when something familiar caught her eye. “You ought to take your brother’s insignia with you.”

“Hmm?” Killian looked up from his packing, before turning to where she was pointing. “Oh. Right. How did you know about that? I assumed it was some old ancestral insignia. I have all of my brother’s medals locked up in a box.”

Emma cleared her throat, “I- uh, I’m not sure about those. But that is Liam’s. You showed it to me once. Back in the Enchanted Forest.”

“Ah.” He grabbed it, running his thumb over the glass case it was nestled in. “I- I didn’t know…”

“Are you alright, Killian?” Emma asked, making her way into the room. “Was it something I said?”

“Oh, no. No, no, Swan,” he waved her off. “I guess I’m still struggling with this false memories thing,” he confessed, chucking humourlessly.

“Just remember that everything you feel is real. The memories might be false, but the past twenty years weren’t. You missing your brother is real.” She drew closer, placing her hand on his chest, feeling it race under her palm. “It might seem unsettling, but I’m here for you. No matter what.”

“Thank you, Swan,” he smiled thinly, squeezing her hand briefly. “Alright. I think I’m about done. Where to next? Your hotel room?”

“Oh, no. I don’t need anything from this land. I have everything I need in my satchel, and the rest back home.” She pulled a small pouch from her bag, requesting Killian to hold out his hand. She emptied the contents of it in his palm - one, shiny magic bean.

“A bean?” he asked, incredulously.

“A magic bean. Are you ready to go back?” she asked, visibly excited.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

“Oh, Emma! You’re awake!” Alice exclaimed jubilantly, jumping in place. She would have probably tackled Emma if Killian had not held her back. “I was so worried!”

Emma chuckled, reaching for Alice’s hand, which the girl readily offered. “You never have to worry about me, Alice. I would never leave you,” she promised. “Either of you,” she added, looking up at Killian and grinning.

Alice would no longer be held back, jumping into Emma’s arms, ignoring Killian’s alarmed exclamation for her to be careful.

“Starfish, Emma is still weak,” he said uselessly. Neither of his girls seemed to be ready to listen to him.

“I’m fine, Killian,” Emma said finally, rolling her eyes at him, albeit fondly.  Not that he could blame her for her exasperation with him: he had been treating her like a delicate flower, even after he knew that she could throw quite the punch from the many sparring matches. “Could you help me up? I would very much love to walk about the room. I have been sleeping for far too long, my muscles have fallen asleep as well. They aren’t roused as easily as I am,” she joked, poking Alice and making her giggle.

“You’re quite silly, Emma,” Alice laughed, not leaving Emma’s side even when Killian helped her up. Alice held on to other hand, assisting Killian in leading her around the room. They walked slowly in relative silence, until Alice asked in an unusually quiet voice, “Did I do this to you, Emma?”

Both the adults in the room paused, staring at one another in shock before Emma knelt down to Alice’s level. “No, darling. Never. You did nothing to me. I just overused my magic. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?” Alice asked, her eyes quickly filled with tears. Killian joined them as well, gathering Alice in his arms to comfort her. “Papa and I were very worried. I thought I lost you,” she whimpered, burying her face in Killian’s shoulder and sobbing loudly.

Emma’s heart broke, watching as Alice’s entire body trembled under the weight of her sobs. “Oh, my darling. Come here,” she said, holding out her arms. Alice easily acquiesced, crying against Emma’s collarbone, her hand fisting in her hair. “You did nothing to hurt me, Alice Jones. I was just being irresponsible, I swear. I am completely fine, darling.”

“Are you sure?” Alice hiccuped.

“Yes. I am very, very certain. You had nothing to do with my falling ill.”

Alice continued to cry for a while, before she managed to calm down. Killian silently kept rubbing her back, allowing her to purge all her emotions. “You feel better now, Starfish?” he asked soothingly, pressing a kiss to her crown.

“Aye, Papa,” she murmured, still pressed against Emma. “I love you, Emma.”

Emma froze, her heart stuttering in her chest. She shot a panicked glance at Killian, hoping that he would not resent her for this. But he only grinned back at her, nodding to her wordless question.

“I love you, too, Alice,” she whispered, her emotions all over the place. She had never felt so happy before. She had always felt a little broken, like a lost girl who never mattered and who never would. It took her so many years and crossing over to an entirely new reality for her to find her family. She would do anything to keep them together.

Anything.

-/-

Present Day: Land Without Magic

“Alright, are you sure that this will work?” Killian asked, watching over his shoulder constantly.

“Yes!” Emma replied vehemently. “This is a dead-end, an empty alley, in the middle of the afternoon. No one will see us, Killian. And if they do? We don’t need to worry about them! We won’t be here!”

“Fine, fine.” He huffed. “Hold on, what is it like, over there?”

Emma stared at him incredulously. “Really? Now is when you choose to ask that question? It’s a lot of carts and rocky roads. Leather and awful corsets. And a lot of magic, just a whole lot of it. It is going to be alright though because I am there and I will not let anything happen to you.”

“Bloody hell. Alright! I’m sorry, I was just stalling.”

“Evidently.” Emma threw the magic bean on the ground without much ceremony. Killian jumped back when a swirling vortex opened up mid-air. “Ready?”

“Can’t really say no now, can I?” he replied, grabbing her hand. “Let’s just do it.”

Emma nodded, and the both ran head first into the vortex.

-/-

Gothel’s relic activated at the exact moment. She had charmed it to alert her of any travelling spells, and it worked like a - for the lack of a better term - charm. Now all she had to do was follow the duo back to the Enchanted Forest. Perhaps, she might even be willing to reunite father and daughter.

-/-

Present day: Enchanted Forest

Killian looked around him, gaping at the forest that surrounded them. When Emma had mentioned the Enchanted Forest, he assumed it was simply a quirky name. He hadn’t expected to land in an actual forest. He searched for Emma, and spotted her lying a short distance away, her satchel and its contents strewn about.

“Hey, Emma! Over here!” he called out. He started picking up all the things that had fallen out of her bag on his way over to her. Emma looked up, shaking off the dizziness of the travel. She spotted Killian, and what he was doing.

When she realised that the things in her bag were now everywhere, she started panicking. She had to get to it before Killian found it. He could not touch the dreamcatcher: it would ruin everything. Emma started frantically looking around her, rooting through her bag first and then around her. She scrambled from where she was sitting, half running and half stumbling toward Killian, hoping beyond hope that he hadn’t found the dreamcatcher. It held all his memories, and they would return to him the moment he touched it.

“Swan, you alright?” he called out mid-search.

“Yes! You don’t need to do that!” she called out, marching over to him. She let out a sigh of relief when she reached him, taking all of things from his arms and dumping them into her satchel. “Thank you.”

“Of cour- Oh, hey. You missed one,” he said, reaching for the branch above her. “It’s a dreamcatcher.” He grabbed it before Emma could react, and the moment he did, Emma knew that everything had gone to shite. He froze in place, his gaze unfocused, as if he was reliving all of his memories.

She could tell the moment he transitioned from Killian Jones, writer, to Captain Hook. His entire demeanor shifted, his expression changed from jovial into something much, much darker. “Killian?” she asked timidly.

His eyes refocused on her, his expression heartbreaking. “Swan?” he whispered brokenly, rushing forward and pressing his lips against her in a hard kiss. Emma was startled initially, but melted into him within moments, her arms slipping around his neck and pulling herself closer, even as tears slipped down her cheeks.

He pulled back, both of them panting slightly. “Gods, I love you,” he whispered.

Emma let out a sob, hearing those words from him after decades of longing. “I love you, too.”

He tenderly brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, thumb grazing down her cheek. His eyes roamed over her face, as if he was trying to memorise her features. “How could I have forgotten you, my love,” he murmured. “I was so lost without you, Swan.”

Emma nodded tearfully, her lips pressed tight together. “I felt it. Everyday. But we’re together now.” She revelled in the feeling of being in his arms; she knew the haze of their reunion would fade and he would realize what she had done.

“Aye, that we are.” And if it were possible, his grin grew wider. “Alice-” he began, his expression still jubilant. But Emma could then pinpoint the moment he remembered. His face fell and expression grew darker, more distant. He dropped his arms from around her, his jaw clenching.

Emma swallowed thickly, pulling away from him in fear. This was so new to her, and distressing. She had felt many things with Killian Jones - but fear had never been one of them. But now that he knew she had deliberately kept him from his daughter...she genuinely was afraid of what he would do. “My cursed self - when I asked you about Alice. You told me I did not have a daughter,” he accused her, his voice eerily calm. “You lied to me about Alice.”

Emma could tell that the Darkness was attempting to take over, and she had to do something. “Kill-”

Before before she could get another word out, he had her pressed against a tree, trapped both physically and with the threat of his magic. His eyes, now a dark cobalt, never strayed from her own. “Where. The. Fuck. Is my daughter?!” he bellowed, absolutely livid.

-/-

Present day: Dreamscape

Alice Jones had been wandering aimlessly around this strange, new realm. It felt like she had been here just days, but she was certain years must have passed. She had been to many realms over the years, both with and without Emma’s company. But even Wonderland was not as wretched as this place. Many people come and go, but no one seemed to be able to see or hear her. She was all alone in this realm, trapped by her mother’s curse. Alice had been many things in life, but trapped was her least favorite. Or perhaps, trapped alone was even worse.

Of course, she had volunteered to be put under the spell willingly; she had made Emma promise to find her father, and to get rid of the Darkness before Emma returned his memories. She knew her father, and she knew that he would never let anything stand in his way if he found out his daughter was in danger; he would move heaven and Earth and disrupt all life just for her. He was pig-headed that way. He would probably even hurt Emma, the woman who had helped raise her, who was practically her mother. Alice could not bear to see that happen. Gothel had made her choose: either she goes or Emma does. At least this way, Alice was certain Gothel wouldn’t kill her the first chance she got; that might not be the case with Emma.

As for her father? Well, he loved Emma very much, despite how he cursed her to an eternal life without him. It probably made a lot of sense in his Darkness-muddled head, with ghosts whispering all manner of sins in his ear, or something less morbid. He would probably regret it once it was all over; would probably drag Alice around to help him find the biggest diamond ring for Emma.

These were the thoughts that occupy Alice’s time in this place. Thoughts that took her mind far from here and to her happy place. She thought about all the places she had travelled to, wondering what she would share with her father first, which story deserved that honor. Was it when Alice had her first crush? Or perhaps when she lost her first tooth? Or had her first drink? She spent her days deliberating how she would narrate each story, and she had an arsenal of them to get through.

Besides, Gothel never bothered with her…for the most part. There were a few times she had come over, rambling over her slumbering body. Her nasally voice echoed through this realm, grating on Alice’s nerves. She usually tried her hardest to simply avoid listening to whatever that bitch had to say.

She was helpless in her current state, and listening to her evil plans would only serve to make her feel more so. And hopeless. Still, she did not really regret her decision. Emma had sacrificed herself and her happiness more times than was fair. If anyone could get her father through this, and ensure that the both of the survive, it was Emma. While Alice’s own magic was quite powerful, she had never fully embraced or harnessed the power. Perhaps, once this was all over and this bloody curse was broken, she would finally take up Emma’s offer for lessons.

Perhaps they might all finally get their chance to be a happy family.

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

It had been more than a week since Emma had regained consciousness and she was slowly and steadily getting back her strength. Her magic had yet to completely return; it had been so frustrating for her the first day, feeling like she had to relearn everything from the basics. She spent the night crying into her pillow, never having felt so useless or powerless before. She still was not certain if Killian had heard her, because the next day he woke her up at the crack of dawn, even carrying her down the tower on his back. Her breath hitched, pressed so close to him, her limbs wrapped around him. He had brought around his horse (she hadn’t even been aware that he had had one), Maximus, the most charming of animals. Killian did everything he could to cheer her up. He made her laugh harder than she could ever remember, trotted her around but still in sight for Alice to watch and cheer.

She had relied on her magic so much all these years, had only that to depend on - it was her armour. To find out that it too had its limits, and be forced to confront the consequences of pushing them - it frightened her, to a greater extent than she was willing to reveal. But she had this- this family now. For the first time, she could finally breathe - there was no place else for her except right here. And once she regained her magic, she would begin to find a way to break the spell.

In the weeks prior to Alice’s illness, and all the drama that had accompanied it, she had reached a wall in her research. None of the spells that she had tried to combine worked, and all of the binding agents she had utilized were futile. Apart from directly seeking Gothel for assistance, there was no other way yet. But Emma was never the kind of person who gave up, and she was not about to begin now.

A couple of days later, Emma sat on the window sill with a large tome open on her lap, taking in as much of the sun as she could before it set. The days were growing shorter, and winter was almost upon them. It would soon be too cold to sit out like this; too cold to leave the window open for long, according to what Killian had told her. She wrapped herself in a warm afghan, drowning herself in the book. All these days she had been looking for spells and magic, but if anything, the past few days had taught her to look outside of that one realm of possibility.

She had started going through Killian’s books of history and mythology, hoping that one of them would lead her to the answer. Killian settled Alice down for a nap and joined Emma, grabbing a book of his own and began reading.

The months passed like this, both of them spending equal time with each other as they did with Alice, using every spare moment going through the books they had. When they had exhausted the collection Killian had with him, they wrote to Killian’s old first mate, and the current Captain of the Jolly Roger, Mr. Smee. He had dutifully delivered the books Killian had requested, along with chests full of treasure and toys for Alice. Mr. Smee was the only other person who knew of Alice’s existence and had been visiting the father and daughter whenever he could, which was not very often. But Alice adored Mr. Smee, looking up at him as one would an uncle.

Emma and Killian grew closer as well, their stolen moments together precious to both of them. Emma wished to tell Alice, but Killian wanted to wait for a while longer. Emma would be lying if she said it did not hurt her feelings, but there were certain boundaries that she would not cross when it came to Alice, and this was something Killian was very insistent about.

He had confessed to her the reason behind the secrecy one night, as the both lay beneath the starry sky at the base of the tower. Emma had laid with her ear pressed against his chest, listening to the steady staccato of his heart.

(“Why do you not want Alice to know about us?” she had whispered. Because of the angle they were in, she did not have to look at him directly.

“I’m not ready for it just yet, Swan,” he had replied just as quietly. “I care for you a great deal, but you are the first person I’ve cared for like this in centuries. And for the past five years, everything I did was for Alice. She comes first for me, always.”

“I know, and I would never expect otherwise,” Emma protested, pulling herself closer. “I just- She asked me the other day if I fancied you. She can tell, Killian. She might be a child, but she is far too perceptive.”

When Killian did not reply for a long while, she began to worry. But then he finally spoke, his words soft, barely a whisper. “I’m falling in love with you, Princess. I’m really scared, and I just want to free my daughter. I feel selfish, being with you when my girl is stuck in that tower.”

Emma held back tears, and she had been only half certain that they were from joy. As much as his confession made her heart race, she finally understand where he came from. She sniffed as inconspicuously as she could. “We are being selfish, you’re right.” She had tried to get up then, but he held her tighter.

“Let’s just be selfish for once, Swan. But Alice cannot know.”

Emma had nodded, turning over and kissing him soundly. “For what it’s worth, I feel the same for you, Captain.”)

Winter took them by a storm, forcing them to remain indoors. Emma constantly offered to use her magic to ensure that they did not freeze but Killian was vehemently against it. It was only after a particularly harrowing night where they had all slept curled up together that he relented. But winter was over as quickly as it had begun, and it had already been a little less than a year since Emma had come to stay with them by the time Alice’s 6th birthday rolled around.

Emma baked the birthday girl Snow White’s special chocolate cake, allowing her the opportunity to remember the good times before Regina had taken the reins to the kingdom.

Killian and Emma arranged six candles for Alice, standing on either side of the little girl as they sang for her birthday. “Happy Birthday, Starfish,” Killian murmured against Alice’s ear, pressing kisses all over her face, making her giggle.

“Happy Birthday, sweetheart,” Emma added, kissing her lightly on her cheek. “Now blow the candles and make a wish.”

Emma wasn’t sure what Alice had wished for, but she could imagine it quite well. Especially when Alice’s mood seemed to diminish a little afterwards.

-/-

Present day: Enchanted Forest

Killian had Emma pressed against the tree, his anger exuding off of him in waves. “Answer me, dammit,” he growled, his hand clenching tightly around Emma’s wrist, his hook embedded into the tree above her. “Where is Alice?!”

“Killian, y-you need to calm, calm down,” Emma stuttered out. Her heart was pounding violently against her chest, and she was afraid that he might actually rip it out. “Killian, please, you’re scaring me. I’ll tell you everything, but please,” she almost begged.

He had changed so drastically, so quickly. It threw Emma off; it was not supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to have control over the situation. It was exactly for this reason that she had avoided giving him his memories back.

He must have sensed the real fear in Emma’s voice, because he swiftly backed up, pressing his back against the tree that was parallel to her, as if he was holding himself back. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Emma had seen this behaviour before, back when he had first become the Dark One. “Ignore the voice, Killian. It is not real. I’m real. I’m here.”

“Where is Alice, Emma?!” he shouted, making her jump.

“She’s with Gothel,” Emma confessed. Killian’s head snapped up, his eyes widened in disbelief, and dare she think it - betrayal? “You have to listen. I did everything to stop Alice, but she had made up her mind. She wanted me to take you to Merlin, and get rid of the Darkness. She told me not to give you your memories back because she knew you would go back for her.”

“SHE IS MY DAUGHTER. Of course I want to go ba- Back?! She’s in the Land without Magic? She’s been there all along?” Killian fired one question after another, and Emma finally decided it was time to tell him everything.

“There- There’s a letter in my bag. From Alice, to you. She’s explained everything in it. I’m just doing what she wanted me to, Killian. I’m respecting her wishes.”

“Her wishes? Bloody hell, Emma! She’s a child. She doesn’t know anything,” Killian snapped, his jaw clenching so tight, she could practically hear his teeth grind together. “You were supposed to take care of her, keep her safe. And you let her be kidnapped by that wench-”

“Hey!” Emma cut him off, her own anger rising with every scathing remark he made. “I did not let her do anything. I almost killed myself trying to stop her - AGAIN. Alice went on her own volition. She went with Gothel, because you need my help defeating the Darkness.”

Killian scoffed loudly, shaking his head. “Alice is my daughter. Mine. All you had to do was keep her safe, and you fucked that up. You have no idea what it feels like right now. You have no idea what it feels like to lose your child.”

Emma felt her heart break at his words. All the ways she had imagined this moment going, none of them had involved Killian being so cruel. She tried to convince herself that it was the Darkness making him say these things, but he must really feel those things. She pushed back her anguish, brushing her tears away, letting her own anger take over. “Well, you left us. You were too much of a coward to face your Darkness, and you left us. I raised her. I was there for all those years. We never stopped loving you - I never stopped loving you. Not even after what you did, forcing parts of your curse on me. You did that to me, told me that you needed me to be there, to find a cure. You corrupted my magic, Killian! So, fuck you too. Fuck. You.

“I did everything you wanted - all of it. You wanted me to be there for Alice, I was. You wanted me to find a cure, I did. You wanted me to suffer the same immortality as you, and believe me, I did. I still do. I did all of that. And I would have died to keep Alice safe, too. She made a fucking choice. She’s not a child anymore; I know that because I was there to see her grow up.”

“That is such a fucked up thing to say. You told me to go, Emma!” He stalked over to her, until he was standing just a hair’s breadth away. “You said it was okay, that you would be okay.”

“Of course I said that, Killian. That was what you needed to hear. I did that too, for you. Just like enduring all these years, waiting until I found an actual answer to the Darkness before I came after you. No matter how much I wanted to jump into a portal and come after you, I didn’t.” Emma’s lip wobbled, her efforts to keep her tears at bay failing. She pushed at his chest. “You broke my heart. I’ve abused it with my magic, I’ve been poisoned. But all of that physical pain, the surgery, and everything else in the Land without Magic? None of that pain compares to what you did. No one has ever hurt me like you did, Killian Jones.”

-/-

Killian was stricken at her words, physically staggering back. “Emma,” he whispered, unable to stomach the pain she described. Had he really been so selfish that he hurt her that badly? He could still feel the rage, but it had simmered down in lieu of his heartbreak, as he watched the woman he loved break apart in front of him - because of him.

“You really should read the letter Alice left for you,” she said thrusting it at him, her voice raspy and her gaze trained away from him. More than her anger, her disappointment hurt him the most. He felt sick to his stomach, unable to bring himself to say anything that could make the situation better. She began walking away, but stopped short, their shoulders almost brushing even though she was faced away from him. “You said that I have no idea what it feels like to lose a child?” She let out a mirthless chuckle. “I lost a child, too. At least you know you will get yours back,” she whispered, walking away from him.

His heart stopped short in his chest at her admission. She could not mean that, no.... It couldn’t be. He turned, grabbing her shoulder, hoping to stop her, to comfort her. But she whirled around, her eyes flashing white with her light magic as she sent a blast his way, sending him flying and crashing against a giant tree, his back smarting. He groaned, knowing that it was only because he was the Dark One that he did not have a serious injury right then. He could still feel the lingering shock of her magic pulse through him.

“You know what the worst part is?” she asked, biting her lip sharply. “I still love you. I love you so much it hurts.”

Killian stood up, his heart swelling with her words. If she still loved him, then there was still hope. But her next words stopped him in his tracks. “I never thought you were capable of being so cruel. To me. I thought you would at least let me explain.” Emma sucked in a deep breath. “I do love you; but Killian, it hurts to love you.”

[im-basically-logan]

Just a bit of self indulgent analogical because i got a burst of motivation at 10 pm ghagfh. Idk what to call this: ficlet? Drabble?

About 600 words, maybe a lil outta character who knows. Complete and utter fluff and ill go to sleep after posting. done on my phone so idk how the formatting will turn out rip @robanilla go slep too if ur not already

“C’moooon,” Virgil whined at Logan, who was at his desk typing. “We’re going to bed, nerd.” Virgil then wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, somewhat pulling back on him and making the rolly chair move. Logan couldn’t help but snicker at him: tired and delirious.

It was always an experience being around a delirious Virgil. He was so much more carefree and that was a nice look on him.

“Alright, I’m getting up,” Logan replied, taking one of Virgil’s arms to kiss it like the tired sap he was. He pushed himself up from his chair, a little wobbly from sitting for so long, but Virgil helped him balance.

Virgil let out a little “yay” and practically dragged the logical side to their bed.

“Ow… my back is in pain,” Logan said as they made their way over. “Most likely from how I was sitting.” Virgil jumped on the bed into a sitting position, patting the spot next to him.

“C’mere, Lo,” the anxious side said, a sleepy smile on his face. Logan obliged, sitting next to Virgil now. Virgil made his way behind Logan and sat on his knees. He began massaging the other’s back through his shirt, rubbing a bit harder into the shoulder blades.

“Thanks, Virgil,” Logan hummed, although surprised Virgil could even give him a good massage at this time of night.

“Welcome,” Virgil said. They were like that for a few minutes, about two to four, until Virgil stopped and laid his forehead on Logan’s back. “Your back is warm,” he commented simply.

“Your head is cold,” Logan responded with a smirk. “My back feels substantially better by the way.”

“Mmm, good,” Virgil said drowsily, tugging Logan’s shirt gently towards him so they could both lay down together. Logan moved towards Virgil, not laying down yet, and then coerced the other to lay down where actual pillows were.

They crawled to the head of the bed, finally collapsing on the mattress. The blanket was a weighted one, dark blue with a tinge of purple here and there. They made their way under the blanket, facing each other when they did.

“I love you’” Virgil said, pecking Logan on the nose with a giggle. He’ll be so god damn embarrassed when Logan tells him about this in the morning, but for now it’s peaceful and cliche.

“Love you too,” Logan said. He put a hand on the back of Virgil’s head, gently massaging his neck and playing with his hair.

Virgil hummed in delight, but murmured loud enough so Logan could hear him,”You don’t have to do this…”

Logan chuckled at the other. “Always so modest, dear.” He could hear Virgil give a happy sigh at the petname. “I want to do this.”

“Thanks, Lo. It feels nice.”

Logan stopped around the same time Virgil had stopped his massage, dropping his arm around Virgil’s neck. His eyelids felt heavy with oncoming sleep.

Virgil wrapped an arm around Logan, effectively giving a sort of half hug as he kissed the other on the lips slowly.

Logan kissed back, closing his eyes. Virgil broke off from the kiss, a small smile playing on his lips. He kept his face close to Logan’s and closed his eyes as well.

Logan fell asleep first, leaving Virgil to shuffle his head under his boyfriend’s chin. He heard Logan’s heartbeat. It was steady and calming. He fell asleep soon after he adjusted his head, his heart too falling into almost the exact same steady rhythm.

[wakabond-blog]

PyeongChang Men’s SP Reaction

FOREWARNING: someone remind me to never do this again I literally sweat through my shorts going through this emotional earthquake

I had reservations about doing this reaction post but I’m watching the NBC mini-promos for everyone (cue lil’ kid saying that Javi is his ONLY hero <3) competing tonight and all the feels flooding in.

Also gonna put my dream podium out there in advance so I can lay claim to my fantasies before they possibly flop: Yuzu, Nathan, Javi (in that order for Gold, Silver, and Bronze), but ofc the best scenario is that everyone skates well and leaves the ice happy and the gremlin judges can do whatever. I haven’t watched a lot of the earlier-group men this season, but looking at their music choices I’m pretty excited for Julian Zhi Jie Yee’s Build a Home program (P/C’s 2016 FS from Euros that year still sticks with me) and hopefully Yaroslav hits his 4F. Just writing out everyone’s name is getting me hella nervous

THIRTY ONE GUYS UP 4 HOURS FML LET’S GIT TO IT, first group up on warmup ice: ayyy Vincent hitting a nice 4Lz-3T

AHHH NBC dropping me randomly into Felipe Montoya’s program right into a botched 3F-2T; c’mon man AISH U TOOK AWAY JAVIER RAYA’S SPOT FOR THIS uwu I kinda dig the all white costume tho but must be a binch to find from the audience viewpoint

Chafik Besseghier actually into taximan more than during the Team SP like yeah sure NBC say it’s part of “French creativity” but that taxi look is wonky...points for commitment though, right? 77.01 with all those lil’ green boxes gouda job Chafik; also a note on that French quirky creativity comment anyone else remember Brian Joubert trying to “disprove” people calling him gay by doing a nude photoshoot

MY BOI Vincent Zhou HITS DAT 4Lz-3T first at the Olympics with that 4Lz-3T combo!!! gah other two jumps off-axis but damn he has the hardest technical content but man you gotta deliver all of it including rotations and GOE; also *pushes glasses up* Vincent ~almost~ got a perfect ACT score wat u doing get that 36 (LOL AT THE COMMENTATORS SAYING HIS SIS GOT A PERFECT SCORE); BANG 84.53 with some stubby GOEs I can live with that new season’s best YAAAS u chase those cars

Okay so the announcement for Denis Ten is in English over the loudspeakers but there’s like a little interruption when they just repeat the word “Kazakhstan” but in Korean phonetics; REIGNING BRONZE MEDALIST LET’S GO nope there goes the 4S-->2S, NICE triple axel though!, also loving the royal blue shirt, triple lutz triple NO (sorry had to say that), but the music is great kinda operatic but not like a loud Bocelli; considering his injuries and other hurdles this is alright, his entire season had a rough start ALSO the flower girls have dresses that match the rink so QUTE also Frank Carroll is still not retired mkay

Matteo Rizzo NICE 3A also considering that this is choreo’d by his mom this is great, strong Italian vibes, really good lines, straight camel with the leg position above the hip, good rotation; love the arms out of the 3Lz this would be a program I would want to do OKAY NBC WE GET THAT U NEED A QUAD TO GET ON THE PODIUM but friggin Matteo’s job is to make his mom choreo proud also considering how this is by far the biggest stage he’s been on after dethroning Ivan Righini, dis is gr8

Michael Christian Martinez honestly still love his taking YOI in stride basically Phichit IRL, not a great performance by any means, really low score in the 50s sheesh but hey that signature Biellmann though! this first group was alright still looking ahead

Yaroslav Paniot that was rough :/// also he took out the 4F and fell on all 3 passes (I mean he landed on his knee on the axel but like...what do you even call that?) damn Tammy Gambill coaches him too, into last place :(( it’s okay Yaroslav

Yan Han going for that hard nose blow and tissue grab looks intense LOVE THAT HARD SLAP ON THE BARRIER you got this my man, AHHH yas more Twilight, NICE TRIPLE AXEL BEST SO FAR man was that rotation fast, crap that 4T still looking for a clean toe in this comp; also these SPs are passing really quickly, Vincent still in the lead after Han’s 80.63

Julian Zhi Jie Yee OMGOMGOMG okay excited for this, awww love the shot back to the opening ceremony; love his shirt with the slight slit V not intrusive but modern and sleek LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE it; AHHH THE BEATS OF BUILD A HOME ready for this show off for Malaysia, NICE TRIPLE AXEL he had so much space coming down, maintaining composure, come on GREAT LUTZ halfway mark here come the lyrics and ahhh slipping on the 3F-3T, I think that content should be enough for him to make the FS, lines could be a bit better but his spin levels seem there good for him! Man he really floated on the 3A I’m hoping this’ll go into the low 70s yep 73.58 good score for him

And cue more ice-less places Brendan Kerry kinda attractive in that down-under way, used to be really smol but then hit that caucasian puberty WHOOO first clean 4T of the comp, like the shimmery dark blue shirt, nice 3Lz-3T who needs a quad sal if there’s anything the pairs comp taught us it’s that going clean leaves a greater impression than hard tricks, saved that 3A, this cut of Everybody Wants to Rule the World is so #inspirational someone get me my book of self-affirmations also getting all these coach-skater revelations Nikolai Morozov coaches Kerry?? dang, whoa slots right in behind Vincent with an 83 and change

Moris Kvitelashvili okay who tf put his name as Morisi on the official docs they actually announced his names as that ETERI U ONLY HAVE ONE BOY, bring on the Buble, smooth 3A that flow, def on feelin good on that 4S, after Boyangman’s Spiderman program I’ve grown to have a deeper appreciation for Michael Buble, he’s really tall but one of those lanky awkward guys but eh I give him props for having the gumption to compete for Georgia and getting to compete on Olympic ice

Keegan Messing LOL his intro “actually born in Alaska, proficient Yo-Yo master” aww singin in the rain WOW nice 4T-3T I’m laughin at clouds too Keegan, oof that 3A fall though, very fast spinner no travelling either...okay but seriously can we get RIka Kihira here to give these guys a 3A clinic or something, for a second this really feels like a Javi program, nice 3Lz to finish out the jumps my god I thought his coach was either Eteri/Shawn White c.2010 hair wow 85 taking away the lead from Vincent; 12 men done, 18 left!

This next warmup group Danny wit dat fresh haircut, NBC hyping up the final group omg chill ur horses, Michal with those sleeve ribbons!

Michal Brezina those bedazzled dragons, WOW QUAD sal (okay I thought it was a flip at first), good 3A nothing under review, not to compare but to compare this is like Seimei beta ver., beautiful delayed 3F, also I feel like I hear people clapping along to the drums but I don’t see anyone...it’s prolly the NK cheer squad, this skate should just sneak into 1st, damn his profile sideshot looks like a dinosaur, AWWW RAF lol still surprised by these coaching situations OH BOI lol just into 1st by 0.04 over Keegan

Cha Junhwan c’mon get that gypsy dance on bring the soul of Wakaba to the games (I expect shoulder shimmies), TAKE A DEEEEP breath Brian, wow dicey moment with the 3F-3T but landed flawlessly, even better 3A crowd goes WILDDDD, quick interjection these scores that are starting to pile into the mid-80s are seriously reminding me of the bronze-medal battle in Sochi I mean yeah now there’s a pretty solid list of 5/6 guys for the podium but still..chills..., might have urs but really bringing the energy otherwisein the stsq arms flairs right on the beat of the music (I’ll count those as shimmies) wow first standing O very well deserved all the korean flags!!

Other sidenote you know who’s gonna get more cool team jackets than Marina Zueva? Brian friggin Orser: Canada, Korea, Japan, Spain, Kazakhstan! all those colors!! gotta catch ‘em all and with a score of 83+ Junhwan goes into that pack of mid-80s

Paul Fentz jacksepticeye doppleganger back on the ice, honestly great 3T-3T screw the squad his air position is really good, wow wild like on the 3A but again great air position (honestly this plus straight legs on camel spins are like the must-haves), also loving this jazzy music it works for him, Wonderwall was WUNDERFUL

Interjection of hockey testosterone jeez being a referee in that would be terrifying you’re wearing no padding sheesh

Misha Ge okay srsly what is the point of saying “Uzbekistan” in English and then again in Korean phonetics? not into the brown ombre, good 3A, getting gypsy pirate vibes gawd that spin extension though ta die fo

Cutaway to Yuzu absolutely DESTROYIN that EZ applesauce pouch (okay it’s not applesauce but man is he twistin every last drop out)

And since I’m already doing this huge ass shitpost I might as well comment on some of the commercials, the 23andme thing where Warren Buffett narrates “ill let u choose any car but u only get one you’d take care of it so well right WELL THAT’s UR BODY”...kinda hypocritical coming from a dude who only eats McDs, See’s Candies, Coke and steak...

Jorik Hendrickx awww I actually had no idea his sis Loena made it too, gosh Je Suis Malade reminds me of Adelina’s failed comeback...anyway good 3A to start; I remember how emotional his qualifying through Nebelhorn was enjoy this bb, wow he’s gonna join the mid-80s pack too judges panicking how tf do we separate them AWW Loena clapping so cute and Jorik smiling!! love this

Also screaming about how I can see the final group on my shitpost list getting closer to my cursor *bites nails*

Literally the biggest actual fuqboi of this comp Daniel Samohin is up with a new ‘do that fresh fade also doesn’t he have that company/group thing black wolf white wolf WELL DAMN BLACK WOLF JUST HIT HIS 4T-3T god remember when he destroyed his shoulder at Skate America, whoa first two clean quads of the comp so far who knew flopchild would it get together at the Olympics also classic Daniel guitar solo ay fuq down on the 3A gdi this is why we can’t have nice things LOL also the first skater to finish in the wrong direction, cute lil’ smile at the end though! Also gonna hit the low-80s aww happy tears!!! omg is that Nikolai Morozov yup 80 points and change jeez top 6 all separated by less than 2 points lol

Group 4 on the ice jeez those short sleeves SLAY BOI LOL THESE ADAM PROMOS literally all of the vernacular “fierce, I’m a full prone monster” *smizes* okay I’m going for a walk and hope to be back by Deniss see ya’ll in a quick sec and good luck to the first five in this group...but srsly I gotta get up or else risk carpal tunnel at this point </3

Adam Rippon, Dmitri Aliev

Okay jk I made it back for Patrick Chan midway through his performacne looks like his first couple jump elements were good supposedly missed his 3A he looks really tense damn PChiddy it’s alright (sidenote his chest looks bigger than I remember), also ofc Dimi is in the lead now with a tech score over 50

Keiji Tanaka, Alexei Bychenko both happened but I took a shower to be clean for some clean skates

Also isn’t it crazy how Deniss is literally skating right before Yuzu man those world standings were a bit of a surprise at first Deniss Vasiljevs (jk my shower also overran his performance so I’m looking at the protocols rn but hey, good thing is my energy’s now conserved for GROUP 6!)

YESS NBC showing (at least part of) the warmup; Javi hits a BOSS 4S so smooth; Nathan’s smiling, Yuzu looks healthy! my god seeing all the faves on ice together warming up at the OLYMPIC stage is just *clutches chest* a lil’ too much for a casual Thursday evening; okay one more set of commercials and we are off to the RACES!!!

Yuzuru Hanyu TAKES THE ICE the first bars of Ballade a personal fave piece, breatheee, head roll, sway,ohmigod you could hear the sound of a pin dropping, come one quad sal to open...YES OH MY GOD NICE 13 POINTS!!! for that one element, great donut spin, 1 2 3 1 2 3 getting all of his levels ofc great character in spins timed to music, love the sound of his blades BLIND MOHAWK INTO 3A TRADEMARK HIT IT’S HAPPENING ONLY THE COMBO LEFT IS HE GONNA DO THE RIPPON ON THE END YES NICE HE HIT IT OH MY FUQQIN GOD THE POOHS THE OBAACHANS IN THE AUDIENCE THIS IS SERIOUSLY MAGICAL BEAT THAT WOWOWOW THE POOH BEARS RAIN DOWN AGAIN I have never seen so many thrown down at once at him DAMN; this is a true champion, my god yes yes YES!!!! my god I don’t know how get got that 3T WITH RIPPON out at the end lol Ghislain Briand and B Orser jumping; WORLD RECORD GIVE IT TO HIM NEVER DOUBT YU.ZU.RU. HAN.YU; BAM 111 triple ONES BEAT THAT YESS AND HE’S SMILING

OKay okay I gotta calm down for Nathan Chen the Poohs are cleared, yes this is a POTO costume but he looks good; GOD DAMN IT CAMERAMAN YOU MISSED THE FUQQIN DIP YOU HAD ONE JOB ARGHHHH, blade sounds are louder than YUZUS BUT HERE COMES THE 4LZ...OH SHIT MY GOD AND THE QUAD TOE JESUS FUCKING HELL IT WASN’T A COMBO either wow...I’m speechless..come one Nate finish it out finish it out OH FUCKING...33 TECHSCoRE?!?!?!?!?!? He’s still breathing though, looks alright, okay he’s still honestly so young and I understand he exudes this chill outlook which is great but all the pressure had to have gotten him (or he just got unlucky with this bad day :///) nerves?? I know there’s still the free skate left but I want him to walk away from all this feeling okay, not hating skating or anything and making a comeback (hopefully??) in Beijing and maybe having a Chloe Kim kind of moment OH FUQ 13th place 82+...my god

Mikhail Kolyada actually shaking his head after seeing Nathan’s scores we’re all shocked buddy; but skate well hit that sky-high lutz loving your mozart, come on come one; okay triple honestly I just don’t want to see any more thuds on the ice that’s good oh fuck...4T a goner out of the four disciplines this is the one that has the least assured gold medalist and maybe that’s contributing to the nerves? It’s okay Mikhail, your 3A was pretty, and YAY GOT A SMILEY SPASIBO y’know at the Olympics all I can hope for as a spectator is that everyone skates happy and goes as big and clean as possible and leaves happy or at least not too hard on themselves and I know that’s easy to say but so much of sports/life in general is psychological and it just pains me to think of how these guys might react to this under-delivered performances

Shoma Uno smolma please whisk us away with Winter, literally gonna bounce the fuq off of Shrooma if he lands everything please save this; NICE 4F, lines ofc can’t compete with Hanyu but you know...World Silver...he’s got the goods, get those clean edges, skating skills, stsq levels, okay 4T YES YES YES 3T great my god SHOMA SAVES THE TRIPLE AXEL PRAISE AWWWW THE SMILE!!!!! FUCKING MELTING FOR THIS DARK HORSE WHO BTW IS WORLD SILVER REIGNING, MY GOD THIS IS CLUTCH; AND HE HAS HIGHLIGHTS TAKE THAT BINCH, ugh I’m so conflicted right now with all of these flops and clean skates and my head is muddled guessing 106 okay okay lowballed the components gets a 104 also had to save a couple landings I get it but THOSE THUNDERTHIGHS SAVING THE DAY

Javier Fernandez oh please please please all I want is for you to bring home a medal GIVE US CHAPLIN GIVE US 4S AND 4T3T THIS IS YOUR CHANCE GO FOR IT, NICE ON THE COMBO, NICE 4S HOLY HELL ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY MOM FOR RECOGNIZING THIS AS CHAPLIN U KNOW HE’S DOING HIS JOB and that AMAZING TRIPLE AXEL; so lovely oh my god this is beautiful, tbh I think my mom is actually falling in love with him “his costume looks so good on him O.O” she’s predicting he’ll win and my mom is like...never wrong so...okay tech score just exactly 60, I’m hoping 109 range oh my god GIVE HIM THE PCS IF NOT FOR HIM FOR MY MOM OH MY GOD

HYPING UP Jin Boyang for my mom okay come on GIVE US THAT CROUCHING TIGER MAGIC, LORI CHOREO DO UR FUQQIN $10K MAGIC, AMAZING 4LZ-3T, ONE OF THE BEST 4T, OG QUAD KING TARA MENTION THAT YES YES *DOES MERYL MEME POINTING FINGERS*, BEAT DRUM DROP, ERHU  YES THAT 3A OH MY GOD YES YES YES JIN GO GO GO YES THE KARATE HANDS IN THE SIT SPIN, WORD THE STSQ YOU’RE GETTING ALL OF THE LEVELS GO GO GO THIS IS YOUR LAST ELEMENT HIT THE POSES GET THE EDGES GET THE TURNS KICK TWIZZLES BUTTERFLY KICK YES FIST PUMP YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS MY GOD YES GIVE HIM A SCORE TO COMPETE WITH SHOMA 104+, okay okay I can work with 103.32

Okay wow so heading into the FS tomorrow:

-Nathan, get that redemption skate, go big, go clean, love it, love yourself

-Yuzuru: bring that Seimei power, work your natural magic, be yourself, keep the intensity, and just let it flow

-Javi: VAMOS VAMOS VAMOS BE QUIXOTE, get your own redemption from Sochi (also lol I don’t think it matters what happens in the end but you’ve already won in my mother’s heart)

-Shoma: SHOOM SHOOM INTO OUR HEARTS EVEN MORE, channel your 2017 Worlds Diva moment, do it do it DO IT

-Boyang: BRING THE STAR WARS HIT US WITH THAT ANGELIC SAUCE

[livesincerely]

[Bits & Bobs] it’s so easy (too easy) to love you

Here’s the latest progress report/update from my javid domestic!au, formerly known as The One Where It’s Domestic. It ended up having too much plot for the Tease Series, but I’m still in love with the idea. (And there will probably still be a smutty epilogue, lol)

00000

Davey’s just gotten out of class—literally just walked out the door—when his phone starts ringing.

“Davey,” Racetrack says the moment he answers, not even giving Davey time to say hello, “Can you swing by the apartment real quick?”

Davey sighs. “Are you locked out of the house again?”

There’s a guilty silence. Then, “Or maybe I just wanna see you, huh? You don’t know.”

“Racetrack.”

“Crutchie’s the one that lost the spare,” Racetrack capitulates immediately, there’s an indignant “Hey!” somewhere in the background, “and I left my keys in my locker ‘cause I thought Crutchie had his—”

There’s a scuffle of noise, then Crutchie’s voice breaks in, “—don’t listen to him Davey, I asked him before we even got on the subway if he had his keys and he said he did but he didn’t even check—”

“—well, I thought you had yours, didn’t I?—”

“—and he was twenty minutes late picking me up from band practice because he was too busy flirting with Spot Conlon to come help me carry my oboe—”

“—that was supposed to be a secret you little shit!”

“—you started it!”

Davey pulls the phone away from his ear as the other side of the line descends into a mess of indistinct yelling. He thinks about trying to get their attention, but he decides to just start heading towards the apartment, muting the call while he waits them out—they’ll remember him eventually.

In the meantime, Davey sends a quick text:

Race and Crutchie locked themselves out of the house again

He’s not expecting a response, but Jack must be in-between projects because he gets one almost immediately.

jc again? 

And you’re going to have to get a new spare made

fuck okay i’ll take care of it. are you heading over?

I’m walking there now

ur the light of my life dave

Davey can’t help but smile at this, a soft feeling fluttering in his chest. Before he can write back, Jack sends a second text:

how did the ochem midterm go?

I feel good about it! Def did better than I thought I would!

duh youve been living in the library all week ofc ur gonna do great. ill swing by the grocery on the way home, pick up some ice cream to celebrate. do we need anything else while im there?

Get a bell pepper and some tomato paste, I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. And we need laundry detergent.

fuck yes im starving. can we do garlic bread too?

Get home on time and we’ll see.

you drive a hard bargain sir. kerian owes me a favor so ill make him stay late. ill be home in a couple hours 

Grinning, Davey goes to respond but is distracted by a tinny, muffled sound emanating from his phone’s speakers. He unmutes the call and lifts his phone back to his ear.

“Davey?” Crutchie says hesitantly, and it sounds like he might’ve been calling Davey’s name for a while. They must’ve put him on speaker because he can still hear Race grumbling nearby. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here,” Davey confirms, feeling a little guilty for forgetting about them, even though they forgot him first.

“So are ya comin’ or what?” Racetrack asks, ever impatient, “because I’m roasting out here.”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving you to ruminate on your poor life choices,” Davey responds dryly, “but I guess I can come let you in, since you asked so nicely.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Crutchie says.

“Hurry, will ya? Much longer and I’m gonna get heatstroke and die,” Racetrack calls.

Davey rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Race.”

00000

Davey starts rifling through the bags almost before Jack can finish putting them down. “Did you get the—?”

“I got the tomato paste,” Jack says, pulling out a gallon of ice cream and sticking it in the freezer. “I also got some more of that fancy cheese you like so much, even though it costs half the grocery budget.”

“It balances the dish,” Davey insists around an armful of vegetables, “the salt cuts through the richness of the sauce.” He makes quick work of washing a green pepper and peeling an onion, then starts dicing both into small, neat pieces.

“All I know is, the shredded stuff works just as well and it doesn’t cost a fortune.”

“Watch your mouth, Kelly,” Davey says, wagging his knife at Jack teasingly, “smartasses don’t get dinner.”

“That so?” Jack asks with a grin. “Then why the hell are we still feeding Racetrack?”

“I heard that,” Race grumbles from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, you were supposed to,” Jack says, moving over to Racetrack and slinging an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. Race bats at Jack’s hand but makes no real attempt to get away. Then Jack says, “So, I hear you and your brother lost another set of keys.”

Race gives Davey a look of the deepest betrayal. “You told Jack?”

“Of course he did,” Jack says. “Someone’s gonna have to get new ones made, and it sure ain’t gonna be either half of the dynamic duo.”

“Crutchie lost the spare,” Race says, throwing Crutchie under the bus while he’s not in the room to defend himself. “And I didn’t lose my keys, I just left them in my locker.”

“Uh huh, save it for the judge,” Jack responds, ruffling Race’s hair. “Just know if I end up having to change the deadbolt, it’s coming outta your subway money.”

“Jacky, leave Racetrack alone,” Davey comments mildly over Racetrack’s spluttering protests. “He needs to work on that paper and you’re distracting him.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Race repeats, a little smug. “You’re distracting me.”

Davey turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. Racetrack quickly busies himself with his homework.

Davey goes back to the stove-top, adding the chopped vegetables to the ground beef that’s browning in a pan. He feels more than hears Jack sidle up behind him: the familiar weight of his gaze, the solid presence at his back. He stands there quietly, leaning against the counter-top and just watching Davey cook; unbothered, Davey lets him be for the moment and moves toward the pantry. With a bit of searching he unearths a can of tomatoes, then adds it and the tomato paste to the sauce pan and turns it down to a simmer.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Davey says, “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me with this?” glancing over his shoulder at Jack, a mock challenge. “You know there’s no loitering in my kitchen.”

“Well, I’m nothin’ if notta law abidin’ citizen,” Jack drawls in answer, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He rolls up his shirt sleeves, exposing the long, muscular line of his forearms, and washes his hands in the kitchen sink. “Where do you want me?”

Davey licks his lips. “Think you can handle boiling the pasta?”

...

“I’ve got to head back out,” Jack says. “Johnson’s got me working a night shoot and I have to be downtown by 9.”

“How long is the session?” Davey asks.

“We’re scheduled for five hours, but we might get to wrap it up early if everything goes well.” Jack’s hand brushes against the small of Davey’s back and they trade spots again, Davey stepping back up to the stovetop and Jack taking his place at the cutting board.

“Are ya spending the night or are ya headin’ back to your place?”

“Depends on how much help Racetrack needs with his history paper,” Davey replies. “We might be at it a while.”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “Well, if you do spend the night, go ahead and take the bed. The extra blankets are in the usual place.”

00000

Davey notices the time and frowns. “Jack,” he calls, “it’s already 7:30. If you don’t leave soon you’re gonna be late for work.”

There’s a clamor of noise from down the hall, then Jack appears, freshly showered and fumbling to put on his socks and button his work shirt at the same time.

“Fuck, Mr. Johnson is gonna kill me,” Jack grumbles. He pats down his pockets, then groans. “Christ, has anyone seen my—”

“Your wallet and keys are on the counter by the microwave,” Davey says. “And take a jacket, it’s supposed to rain later.”

…

“Jack—”

“And Dave cooked, so you shitheads better do the dishes, get me?”

“Jack, you’re gonna be late,” Davey cuts in firmly, holding out Jack’s jacket for him.

“Alright, I’m going,” Jack says, shrugging it on, and he finally starts making moves towards the door.

He gives Crutchie one last pat on the shoulder and cuffs Racetrack on the back of the head in a slightly rougher, but no less affectionate goodbye, which is per usual. Then he turns to Davey, tips his chin up, and kisses him right on the mouth, short and sweet.

“Lock the door behind me and don’t forget to—” Jack stops mid-sentence, then turns bright red.

“Um,” says Crutchie.

“Holy shit,” says Racetrack.

Jack’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Finally, he sputters out, “I u-uh — I-I d-didn’t mean—“

Davey doesn’t respond. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to—he’s frozen in place, his mind a sudden wash of static. For a moment, they just look at each other. Then Jack blurts, “gottagoseeyoulaterbye” and bolts out the front door.

Davey’s not sure how long he stands there, staring blankly into space, utterly dumbfounded.

“Davey?” Crutchie asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a horrible, strangled, choking noise. A split second later, Davey realizes it’s coming from him.

[heebiejbies]

Limerence - Chapter VIII

Limerence Masterlist

Characters: Sehun, Suho, and OC (Ursula)

Warnings: This series contains mentions of assault, sexual violence, and stalking.

Word Count: 5.0k

Note: This chapter has a somewhat long scene of graphic violence in it. There will be mentions of blood, bones being broken, ect. And also some Sehun feels but this entire series is full of that.

Limerence:  The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings.

The sound of someone knocking on the door shook me awake. I sat up and realized that I had fallen asleep on the couch sometime earlier in the morning. I picked up the remote from the floor and turned the TV off, then got up to see who was at the door. I was surprised to open the door to see Suho standing then.

“Is now a bad time?” He questioned, clearly seeing the state that I was in.

“Oh, no of course not. I’m sorry, come in. I’ll put some coffee on,” I said, inviting him to come inside.

I put a pot of coffee on, and then went upstairs to change into jeans and a t-shirt. I came back downstairs and saw that Suho was looking out the window as if he was looking for someone. When he heard my feet hit the floor, he turned back around and came away from the window. I went into the kitchen, grabbed two mugs, and poured coffee in each.

“So, what brings you by this morning?” I asked, after our talk last night I didn’t think he’d come over. Especially not so early in the morning.

“Ah about that, I came to talk about Sehun.” He said. At the mention of his name, my head became flooded with memories of the dream I had. I shifted in my seat in discomfort, “What about him?”

“I’m not saying this to alarm you, and it may just be some childish act, but I still want you to know. I went into his room yesterday after you left, and he has tons of pictures of you hidden by a book on his dresser. I wanted to tell you last night when we were on the phone, but something told me that then wasn’t a good time.”

“That’s so weird,” I muttered, Suho looking up at me in question, “Now that you mention that, the day that I helped you with your flowerbed and we had dinner together, I found a picture of me under a book on his dresser.” He looked at me, his eyes widening.

“You don’t think he’s dangerous… Do you?” I asked, what if that dream I had was a sign? A far-fetched idea it was, but if he was dangerous I wanted to distance myself from him as soon as possible.

It was just a dream, don’t blow it out of proportion. 

“No, I know he’s not dangerous. He just has odd tendencies. All of the pictures I saw looked as if they came off of social media sites, so it’s not as if he has been stalking you or anything.” The photo I found was from a social media website, so I wasn’t too worried about that now that Suho cleared up the air. At least he didn’t have any pictures of me in the shower or anything like that.

“Ursula, listen to me. I did say he wasn’t dangerous, but I still want you to keep an eye out,” He warned, laying a hand on my arm.

“I understand. I’ll watch out.”

Later that day, I decided to go visit my brother. I knew that he could help me try and figure out what exactly was going on in my head lately. Something clouds my judgment when I think about Sehun. What exactly it is that clouds it, I am not sure. I just know that I become very nervous when thinking about it. If that nervous energy is a good or a bad feeling, that I also am not sure of.

My brother lived roughly an hour away, and he lived in what I could classify as the middle of nowhere. The nearest city was around 45 minutes away, and the nearest neighbor was a good 5-minute drive away. He lived in a truly peaceful place, though. You always feel so at peace after being at his home.

We sat beside the pool in his backyard, soaking up the newly warm weather of summer. We spent some time catching up on everything that has happened in one another’s lives since the last time we saw each other in person. He showed me the horses that he recently bought, even taking me for a ride around the outskirts of his land. The view of the mountains from there had to be one of the most breathtaking sites I’ve ever seen. Everything seemed so relaxing. He brought me over to a stream at the foot of the mountain, letting our horses get a drink before heading back to his house.

It was around sunset when we got back. He had invited a few of his friends over to come eat dinner, seeing as he decided to cook out for him and I. We were once again in his backyard when I finally got around to talking about Sehun.

“Urs, what’s on your mind? I can tell that something is bothering you.” He closed the lid of his grill and came to sit beside me on his patio. The one thing I could always count on my brother for was to read my emotions like an open book. Despite me hiding my emotions well, he could see right through my facade every time.

“Do you remember the new neighbor I told you about, Sehun?” He nodded his head. “Well, to put it simply, I’m so confused about what I feel about our relationship. We’re not dating, but he’s expressed his feelings towards me and I have feelings for him as well. It’s just, when I think about him I have this weird wave of anxiety come over me, and I can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad feeling,” I explained. 

“Urs, wow. Feelings for a boy huh? Does he know how special he is?” He joked. He bumped my shoulder with his own and laughed. “But, in all seriousness, what do you think it is?”

“I, well,” I paused, “I think it’s… Good?” I sighed, “I don’t know Casp, I told him about what dad did and he took me by surprise. He didn’t seem to pity me, he tried to make me feel happy. He has tried to protect me ever since I told him, it’s weird to me. I even mindlessly asked who would love someone like me, and he said he would. I don’t know if he said it as a spur of the moment thing to comfort me, or if he actually meant it. I’m just so confused and I don’t know what to do.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I can’t help you here. You’re going to have to unscramble this puzzle by yourself. What I can tell you, though, is that I personally think he has been good for you. Mom has mentioned how you’ve changed since meeting him.” I debated on if I should tell him about the pictures that I found, knowing Caspian he would have one of two reactions. He’d laugh it off as a joke, or he’d become overprotective and take back everything he said about Sehun previously. I had to tell him, though, I wasn’t going to be one of those girls who doesn’t say anything about something they find sketchy.

“There is one thing,” I waited for him to look at me, “I was in his room once day, and I found pictures of me in his room. His friend also found the pictures of me, I mean they seemed to be from social media accounts so it isn’t as if he’s been taking pictures of me, but it still struck me as odd.”

What happened next made me want to facepalm. Caspian started laughing uncontrollably, he even almost fell out of his chair for how hard he was laughing. “First of all, sister dear, what were you doing nosing around in his room? Secondly, he probably just really thinks you’re hot. Boys are weird like that.”

I was dumbfounded. Not only did he laugh, he suggested that the pictures were a normal thing. I didn’t want to worry my brother, so I just laughed it off with him and didn’t comment more on the subject. He was probably right anyway. Before he could add something to his previous comment, we heard the sound of his friends calling his name.

We didn’t speak of the topic the rest of the evening. Not until later that night before I left, that is. I sat on Caspian’s porch swing, listening to the peaceful sound of the frogs and bugs that kept the nighttime from being silent. Caspian came outside and sat down next to me, “Urs, I know there is something else bothering you about this Sehun guy. What is it? Is it dad?”

“Of course it is.” After I did some thinking, I realized what I thought my problem was. I didn’t want to admit it, but everything that happened with my father made me absolutely terrified of having any form of a relationship with a guy that wasn’t my brother. “I mean if the man that is half responsible for me being alive didn’t love me how could anyone else? As long as he lives, he’s always going to be a reminder of my thoughts like this. I don’t think these thoughts will ever go away, Caspian, and I hate feeling so weak because of someone that shouldn’t mean a thing to me or hurt me in any way.”

“You’re not weak, you’re a normal human being with normal emotions like the rest of us. Anyone would feel what you do in the situation, what you feel isn’t uncommon I promise you that. I know that because of what happened you built more walls around yourself, and you stopped trusting people so easily. If this guy managed to gain your trust and affection, he won’t be like dad. You did say that he said he would love someone like you? I don’t think he would go so far as to say that if he didn’t have the best intentions at heart.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug, “I can’t tell you what to do, but hearing all of this I think you should give him a chance. Even if you’re afraid to let any potential of new love into your life, I think this would be a good time to take a chance.”

As I was driving home I thought about what Caspian told me. To be perfectly honest I did feel something towards Sehun, and I didn’t think he had any ill intentions. However, I still had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that seemed to be telling me to tread lightly. That had to be the part of me that is trying to protect me from getting hurt again like my dad hurt me.

How would I know if he had only pure intentions if I didn’t give him a chance? I decided that I should stop running from him and just try and see where we go. I needed to forget my worries and fears and just try and live without them for a moment. Hopefully, that will help. Maybe Sehun could help me break all of these fears once and for all. Maybe he could help me move on and forget about that part of my life.

Sehun… Just what the hell are you doing to me?

Sehun had parked his car in the woods around two miles away from Caspian's house. He walked through the woods and stepped onto his property after around 40 minutes. The sun had already set so it would be hard to see that he was lurking around. He waited for Caspian’s friends to leave, then he approached the porch and hid around the corner. If Ursula or her brother were to look off the porch, he would far enough to be out of sight but close enough to hear what they were saying. He waited ten more minutes before Ursula came out. He peered above the porch to look at her. She looked so at peace, but Sehun could tell that something was bothering her.

Thankfully, Caspian managed to get that something out of her, “Urs, I know there is something else bothering you about this Sehun guy. What is it? Is it dad?” At the sound of hearing him mention their father, Sehun could feel his blood begin to boil. That asshole again?

“Of course it is. I mean, if the man that is half responsible for me being alive didn’t love me how could anyone else? As long as he lives, he’s always going to be a reminder of my thoughts like this. I don’t think these thoughts will ever go away, Caspian, and I hate feeling so weak because of someone that shouldn’t mean a thing to me or hurt me in any way.”

Sehun clenched his fists so tight that his nails dug into his skin. He is still bothering her and he isn’t even in her life. Who does he think he is to do this to her?

‘Sehun, you know what you have to do.’

I have to help her… I have to do something about him.

‘Sehun, you should not do anything to him. You could get in serious trouble.’

I don’t care. As long as he’s free from Ursula’s mind then I don’t care about the consequences.

‘See, Sehun? You know your next move. This will help her, I promise you that once you complete this task she will be yours.’

‘No, please, Sehun think about this rationally. This is not the way to go, can you not see that?’

The only thing I see is that my love is being hurt and I can do something to stop it.

‘Good boy. Now, hurry, the sooner the better.’

The second voice in Sehun’s conscience had fallen silent, it seemed that he gave up on trying to save Sehun’s sanity. It was too late, he was too far gone now.

Sehun began forming a plan in his head later that night. He caught up on some work he had neglected to do earlier that day, he nearly knocked his office chair over when he finally finished the last parts of his plan. He changed to his monitor on the far left of his desk and typed something in. He went to Facebook, then continued his typing. Within two minutes he had successfully accessed Ursula’s Facebook page. He went to her list of people she had blocked and found her father. He clicked on his page and sent him a message. He knew how men like her father thought, and he knew the perfect thing to say to him. 

Hey, dad, listen. I know we had a falling out a few years ago, but you were right. Everything you said was right, but I want to change that. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to love me, I don’t want to be around mom and Caspian anymore. They are holding me back, I need to have you in my life to finally become of worth. I hope you accept my offer, we can meet and talk about where to go from here. I’ll do whatever you ask of me, as long as it makes you love me. 

He replied within twenty minutes.

I can’t say I’m surprised to hear from you. I knew you would finally see that I’m not the bad person. I’m glad to see that you are seeing things from my point of view. Name the time and the place, I’ll be there.

Caught ya.

Sehun arranged for them to meet in the parking lot of an old supermarket.

I left mom’s house, so I’m staying in a hotel right now. I have to work late so my boyfriend will pick you up and bring you to the hotel.

Your boyfriend? Huh, that sure is a surprise lol. I’ll look out for him.

Damn scumbag. Sehun pulled beside the only car in the parking lot. A man around 48 got out, that was Ursula’s father. He came over to the driver side, Sehun rolling down the window, “I’m her boyfriend. Get in.” He got in the car and Sehun drove away. He didn’t say a word until he noticed Sehun was driving out of the city and not to a hotel. “Where the fuck are we going?”

“She’s staying in a hotel in a city thirty minutes from here. She wanted to be out of this city for good,” Sehun lied through his teeth. He could tell that her father was an idiot because he just blindly believed Sehun’s terrible lie. Sehun drove around fifteen minutes out, now in the middle of the woods. He faked car trouble and pulled over on the side of a bridge. He popped the hood and exited the car. He pretended to be messing around with something under the hood, but in reality, he was waiting for her father to get impatient and come help him.

“Hold on, let me get something out of the back seat, I know what to do,” Sehun said once he heard the passenger door open. He opened the back door to the driver side, put on a pair of gloves, and picked something up out of the floorboard—a tire iron. He shut the door and went back to the front of the car where he saw her father peering at the motor, “I don’t see a damn thing wrong with the thing, kid.” He looked up to see that Sehun had a tire iron in his hand, “What good is that going to do?”

Sehun let out a cackle, raising the tire iron in the air, “Oh, it will do plenty.” Her father realized the situation and turned to run away, but before he could Sehun hit him over the back of the head. He fell to the ground and Sehun hit his spine, then proceeded to roll his body over to he could look at him. He could see the fear in her father’s eyes, something he wished Ursula could see. “How does it feel, huh? To be helpless at the hand of someone stronger?” Sehun brought the tire iron down onto his abdomen, he could feel a few of his ribs snap upon impact.

“Please, stop! I’m sorry! Please just stop hurting me!” Tears started falling from his eyes, making Sehun laugh once again. He stood there and watched as her father tried to roll over on his back to crawl away. He got only a few steps away before Sehun grabbed him by his feet and yanked him back to where he was before. “Where are you going, Denny? We were just starting to have some fun.”

Sehun got on his knees and grabbed Denny by the back of his hair, “You know, I’m actually going rather easy on you for how much hatred I have for you.”

“What did I ever do to you?” Denny cried.

“What did you ever do? What did YOU,” He lifted his head and then bashed it against the asphalt, “EVER,” Back onto the pavement, “DO,” The last time Sehun slammed his face into the asphalt, he flipped Denny over onto his back once again. He forced Denny to open his eyes and look at him, “The love of my life is scared to love me because of you. You hurt her, and you are still hurting her. The only way for us to live happily ever after is for you to be gone.” Sehun grabbed the tire iron once again and assessed the damage. Denny had blood all over his face, mainly coming from scratches from the asphalt and his now broken nose. Denny started coughing, blood spurting from his mouth.

“Hmph,” Sehun scoffed, “You are weak. This was nothing but a little beating.”

“This won’t change what she is, she’s worthless and you know it!” Denny had one last spike of spite and laughed despite his current condition, this made Sehun see red.

“Don’t you EVER.”

Red.

“SAY ANYTHING.”

The color of blood.

“ABOUT HER.”

The color of rage.

“EVER AGAIN.”

The color of vengeance.

“I WILL KILL YOU!” Denny stopped laughing when he realized just how angry Sehun was. Sehun brought the tire iron down onto his skull with such a massive force, it cracked into his skull. Denny wasn’t dead, no he was still conscious. That’s what Sehun wanted. “I’ll kill you with my own two hands!”

Sehun dropped down to his knees and wrapped his gloved hands around Denny’s throat. He squeezed as tight as he could, cutting off Denny’s air supply. “You will never hurt her again!” Sehun saw Ursula’s face flash in his mind. He saw her smiling face with her hand stretched out to him, “Thank you Sehun, I love you,” She said.

A lone tear slipped out of Sehun’s eye, bringing him back to reality. He could see the life slowly leaving Denny’s eyes which prompted him to let go. Denny was nearly unconscious, Sehun knew that this was his chance. He stood back up and once again picked up the tire iron.

“Your son was right. With you gone there will be one less piece of shit on the Earth.” He smirked at Denny’s almost lifeless body. He could see tears and blood still streaming down his face, he let out a giggle and brought the tire iron high above his head. “You won’t get in mine and my love’s way anymore!” He brought the tire iron down onto his skull once again. This time, bringing it right back up and bashing it against his skull again. On the asphalt in front of them, you could see the shadow of Sehun bashing his head thanks to the headlights of Sehun’s car. You could also hear Sehun’s grunts and heavy breathing, and indiscernible pieces of sentences slipping past his lips as he continued swinging. Each swing slowly becoming more and more forceful.

With one last swing, Sehun landed the tire iron in what used to be the middle of Denny’s forehead. He let the tire iron go, letting it fall to the asphalt with a clank. He moved around Denny’s now dead body to admire the damage he did. You couldn’t even recognize his face anymore. It was so badly bashed in, no one would be able to identify him this way. The blood seeping from his head left a rather massive pool of blood in the middle of the bridge. Sehun smirked at Denny’s slaughter, feeling that he had finally pleased Ursula.

Sehun wondered how he should clean the blood up, but then he felt a raindrop fall on his cheek, causing him to look up into the night sky as it started pouring down rain. Sehun dragged Denny’s body to the edge of the bridge, lifting him up to the ledge and tossing him into the water below. He then picked up the tire iron and tossed it into the water as well. He went back to his car and opened the door. He took off his blood-soaked gloves and shoes and put them in a plastic bag. He also grabbed a towel from his backseat and cleaned his face and dried some of the blood from his clothes. He slipped on a fresh pair of shoes and then put the towel in the back with his old shoes and gloves.

He got in his car and started it back up. He looked at the slowly vanishing puddle of blood, putting his car in reverse and backing off of the bridge. In his rearview mirror he could see the rain washing the blood away, he started to drive away. He looked back once again before speeding up, letting nature do his work for him.

‘Good work, Sehun. She said that as long as he was alive, he would be a reminder of her doubts. Now that he is gone, there will be no doubts to keep you apart.’

The second voice, still absent from his mind.

I can’t wait until tomorrow. I want to see her so badly now!

Sehun arrived back home, entering his house with the plastic bag in hand. He went into his bathroom and stripped himself. He turned the water on and stepped into the shower. The blood that the rain didn’t wash away was now being washed away by the shower. He looked down at the red water going down the drain. 

Red. The color that filled him with rage not even two hours ago now filled him with content. 

He grabbed his shampoo and started to wash his hair. He mused over the thought of how happy Ursula would be now that her father was gone. How much more peaceful her thoughts would be. How she would finally let herself love him like he knows she is afraid to do.

After he showered, he put the rest of his bloodied clothes in the plastic bag and went downstairs to the fireplace. He lit it, then placed one article of clothing in it at a time, watching it burn and shrivel to ash. Once he finished burning the rest of the evidence, he went back upstairs to his room. He stood in front of his window and looked into Ursula’s window. Delilah got up from her bed and padded over to Sehun. She looked out the window and let out a whine, seeming as if she missed Ursula as much as he did. He crouched down and started petting her head.

“I know, girl. She will be here with us soon, I promise.”

When I came home from work, I didn’t expect Sehun to nearly tackle me with a hug in my driveway. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, “I didn’t mean to scare you, and I’m sorry if me kissing you made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry about this too but I just had this overwhelming urge to hug you. Ursula, I really care about you, I hope you know that.”

I turned around and broke the hug. I looked at him and I saw such admiration in his eyes. The glistened as if they had tears in them, but I knew he didn’t. I cupped his cheek with my right hand and stroked it with my thumb. He let out a content sigh and closed his eyes, “I’m really glad to see you today.”

Something about the look on his face made me melt. He had this look that told me that there wasn’t anyone he would rather be with at this moment, he looked absolutely adorable. I noticed that he had Delilah on a leash, he must have been walking her when I arrived. Thinking about my conversation with Capsian, I invited him in for a bit. He unhooked Delilah’s leash from her collar and let her sniff around the living room. We sat down on the couch next to each other, that’s when I addressed our kiss the other night.

“Sehun, you didn’t make me uncomfortable when you kissed me. It was all on me, I’ve never felt this way about someone before and it scared me, so that’s why I left all of the sudden,” I grabbed his hand and laced his fingers with mine, “But now, I’m not going to let my fear control me. I know how I feel, and I’m not going to let my fear make me run away from it.” I took control for once and kissed him, it took him a couple of seconds to respond but when he did he moved closer to my body. I pulled his arms so that he was straddling my sitting body. His arms locked behind my neck. I wrapped my arms around his lower body and pulled him closer, causing him to hum in response.

“I just want you to know, I really really do like you, Ursula.” Holding him in my arms made me realize how much I truly did like him. The way he cuddled up against me and looked at me with his doe-eyed look, the slight pucker to his lips, it all felt right to me. It felt like he belonged with me, like we belonged together at this very moment.

“I really like you too, Sehun,” I pecked the top of his head, “I want to give this a chance.”

I wanted to give us a chance. If I could feel happiness like this often with him, it would be worth it no matter the outcome. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be happy with him. Everything Suho told me that morning had already been forgotten, none of it mattered to me at that moment. All that mattered was Sehun and me. 

I knew that this was a good idea. She’s going to give us a chance! She loves me, she really does love me!

‘What did I tell you, Sehun? You did what you had to do, and you were rewarded just like I said the first time.’

Sehun let himself become immersed in how she held him. He laid his head against her chest so that he could hear her heartbeat. She ran her hands through his hair, slightly massaging his scalp. He finally could feel how strong his love for her was. He finally felt like the missing piece to his heart had been found.

‘Sehun… I am sorry that I cannot save you now. You did it again and I did nothing to stop you. Please, be happy with her while it lasts, because it will not last forever. I wish I could have saved you. I failed you, and I am eternally sorry for that.’ 

[xavierscos]

Stuff to post w art today:

For the robosona ref:

Yup here’s my botsona!!!! Here’s some extra info on him!!!

·         He has inner fans to keep him below a certain temperature (one of them is busted)

·         If he gets too flustered/excited and goes past a certain temperature, he’ll blue screen and crash

·         If he gets too stressed he’ll do that weird color static thing computer’s do and then he’ll crash

·         Has a volume + power button on the side of his head. You can mute him by turning down his volume button (which will then result in him communicating through emojis and such)

·         He can use emojis when he’s not muted but he doesn’t really like doing that. The only emoji he uses no matter his volume level is the knife emoji

·         Can display words one at a time on his screen (the most used are: various curses such as FUCK, CUNT, ASS, SHIT; YES; NO; MOE; C-3Y). the word ERROR shows up when he crashes/does the blue screen thing

·         Pupil can change shape (hearts, eye swirls, money symbols, etc)

·         His cat companion Booby (yes based after my cat Boobs) was actually stolen! Yup! This lil bot fella stole a cat from someone’s house and the cat just ?? went with it?? And bonded with the bot??? anyways story is xai was homeless for a lot (he still is but now he travels) so every day when the person went off to work he’d sit at the fence and pet the cat bc booby would hop over it and he’d feed the cat and shit and one day he just. ran off w the cat

<b>Liquid mood-color chart </b>

Purple – standard mood, average

Pink – lovesick/lovestruck, doting, affectionate (tints the purple a bit more pink around ppl he genuinely loves buuut gets really bright when feeling Extra Affectionate)

Blue – sad, sullen (darker means feeling worse)

Red – angry, outraged (brighter means angrier)

Yellow – excited, energetic (different from happy – brighter means more energized)

Dark green – jealous, bitter, resentful

Bright green – disgusted, grossed out,

Pinkish-red – embarrassed, flustered, nervous,

Blue-green – apologetic, guilty

Neon/cyan blue – Frightened, panicking, scared

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For the Duckpaw/Perse + alters

Hey yall as u kno duckpaw/perse has DID so I,, finally made art of her alters anyways let’s go

WC name | Human Name | Info | <b>How to tell if WC form is fronting</b> | <i>How to tell if Human form is fronting</i> |

 Mudpuddle | Mariana | She/Her. She’s the essential “caretaker” of the system. Makes sure the body isn’t damaged beyond repair and will take care of the body after Duck/Perse has had a bad episode. | <b>She constantly grooms her fur so it curls upwards slightly rather than Duckpaw’s straightforward style. Speaks in a soft, low tone.</b> | <I>Curls her hair w/ a curler. Wears blouses, dress pants, boots.</i> |

Patches | Dudley | They/Them. Tends to stick up more. Will front when Duck/Perse is being pressured to do shit she doesn’t like and/or recalling blocked out memories. Irritable, snarky, snide. Tends to be rather smug and a know-it-all. Yells @ ppl who pisses them off. | <b>Doesn’t groom as much as Duck or Mudpuddle, so fur kinda sinks down ish. Not really too far but. Still spiky like Duck’s. Cranky, loud. Will typically let u kno they’re fronting</b> | <i>Wears suits and ties, or dress shirts and pants. Wears hair up in a bun.</i>

Bugs | Bud | He/Him. Prefers to isolate himself, distances himself away from friends and shit. Doesn’t interact much unless necessary. Sleeps a lot and eats a lot. | <b>Will run off from camp and hide out in territory. Doesn’t groom, collects dirt in fur. Doesn’t really talk around others either.</b> | <i>Won’t change out of pajamas, doesn’t brush or wash hair, locks himself in the room.</i>

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That ross/perse picture

Oooohhh boy lemme dive into the history of human au ross + Persephone real quick uh

<b>Trigger warnings: Physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental/emotional abuse, psychological trauma, death, pedophilia</b>

Ross had 4 other siblings and he was the youngest – his mother died after giving birth to him, so he always kinda carried around this guilt that he was the reason his mom was dead. His dad always kinda was distant/didn’t spoil him as much as the others, but he still cared for ross and shit. When ross was about 10 or so he was driving with his siblings while he talked 2 ronnie on the phone. Another car kinda rammed into them and they got in a pretty bad car wreck which Ronnie heard over the phone so he called ross’ family and shit. Reyes and hollyanne and his dad all came and a couple of ross’ siblings died on scene; he was hospitalized with one other sibling. He had a broken arm and a couple fractured ribs, bruising and lacerations but he was alive – his sibling was in a coma and didn’t come out.

Ross’ dad was kinda resentful bc he lost all of his kids besides ross and he already kinda resented ross for taking away his wife so he like. flat out ignored ross, didn’t talk to him, didn’t really do anything. Hollyanne started picking ross up to and from school bc he started missing bc his dad wouldn’t drive him. Eventually ross and his dad moved in w hollyanne and reyes (and then addar and Persephone came along). ross’ dad started saying some nasty comments over a period of a year or two that started to bring ross’ waaaayyyy down so ross turned to another guy (said guy was 18, ross was 13-14) who flattered him and told him nice shit. This guy took advantage of ross + ross’ insecurities and slept with ross more than once (despite ross saying he wasn’t comfortable the first few times)

The family caught ross + the guy in his room one night and hollyanne/reyes were pissed @ the guy bc this dude is 18,,preying on a 14 y/o so they kicked the dude out (they started filing for charges/restraining order after) but ross’ dad was pissed @ ross bc this wasn’t “right” (ross’ dad was a firm believer in abstinence and also this is an adult with a child and ross’ dad kinda blamed ross for not realizing what was happening was bad) so ross’ dad’s belittling started getting worse and worse afterwards and one day ross kinda said something back and ross’ dad hit him over the face and hollyanne/reyes were like “alright you have to go like right fucking now” so they kicked ross’ dad out and he left w/out looking back and ross hasn’t spoken to him in a while

Ross is now a bitter dude who thinks his only value in life is sex/sexual purpose and he doesn’t believe he can amount to anything good so instead of risking shit (like failing grades or job interviews or whatever) he bribes ppl 2 either do shit for him or give him shit (take a wild guess abt how the briberies work)

 Persephone has like 98% of her memories from her childhood blocked. Her mother died a little bit after her first birthday and no one knew who her dad was so she went into care under her uncle and her uncle was,, kinda poor so he had a bunch of friends/family he lived with. Persephone saw a lot of death growing up (people overdosed on drugs, sickness related, people got shot) and that kinda stuck with her through her life so she has a phobia of death stimming from that. Also some of her uncle’s friends started getting uh, handsy with her and touching her and shit so that has ,, stuck with her. She’s blocked out the memories but if she tries to recall them she’ll have a bad mental reaction. Eventually she managed to book it during the middle of another move (the family moved around a lot) and she kinda wandered the streets for a few days until hollyanne/reyes spotted her and took her in. eventually after a little bit of living w them she came out as a trans girl so now holly and reyes r helping her with her transition n shit. Also they got her professionally diagnosed

When she was in like 7th grade ross had brought home some dude he worked with on a science project. The guy was a senior but took some lower classes and shit,, also he’s addar. Anyways addar was always rlly friendly w Persephone and gave her a lot of brotherly attention and holly was eventually like “Hey do u mind babysitting ross and perse while reyes and I go out and do some errands” and addar was like “sure!!!” eventually they all got super close and addar moved in(?) so now theyre all one big happy family :”)

 Uh characters mentioned belong 2: :devberryboats: :devbabysiut: :devppurble:

((pls don’t read this if the triggers will cause bad shit just lemme kno what u wanna hear abt the history ill give u an abridged version of where ur charas r involved))