i know we talk a lot about how close the doctor was to giving in after the satan pit but i’ve also seen people say it’s good that the doctor never had to see rose age and like. not only does that fundamentally mischaracterise the doctor’s actual reaction to sarah jane in school reunion and the tenth doctor’s own actual desires, it also seems to misunderstand what giving in actually entails.
because for him giving in means accepting that rose is going to die and deciding to let them be together anyway. that is what he is actually mourning post-doomsday, the fact that she is essentially dead and he didn’t get to spend enough time with her or love her as fully as he wanted to.
you cannot tell me that he wasn’t going to let rose travel with him post-journey’s end if there hadn’t been the metacrisis doctor, or that he was just going drop her off when she was fifty because oh no she has wrinkles now. that little giggle he does when she says “so i could come back” is the sound of an alien’s mind being overwhelmed with images of decades of hand-holding and he knows losing all of that is going to shatter him. but he’s also been without rose now and he knows which pain he’d prefer.
and rose could die at 100 and he could be about to regenerate from old age and he would still be back on the powell estate on january 1, 2005, ready to say goodbye even as part of him starts all over again.
dunno a week ago or thereabouts i was set up outside the library with a comrade and we have a palestine flag up, and this woman comes by and she thanks us for having it. and she starts talking, and asking us about things and she says she doesn’t support violence, doesn’t support israel doesn’t support hamas, that she’s palestinian and she’s been there and how she heard stories about it and she went there as a child, eight years old, and she was held in the airport for ten hours. she didn’t know what was happening, and the man who’d put them there clearly hated her, from the bottom of his soul, a child who he’d never met before. she’d seen the occupation, been threatened and followed by strangers, and they hated her. the way she said hated sounded different than any other word.
she said she was an artist, that she had a lot of feelings and she put them in her art and she showed us some of it. it was abstract, mostly, black and blue and red and scraps of paper with words printed on them. and she tells my comrade she hasn’t gone to actions because she has a special needs son, and she tells us she’s in therapy, but her therapist is a white lady and she doesn’t really understand, she says she does, but she’s never been through it. never been looked at with that kind of hatred. and she says she thinks about a lot of things. she thinks this might be hell, “this world we’re in right now.” she tells us about a friend of hers, palestinian, whose entire family is dead. all of them.
she asks if we’ve heard of the undergraduate hospital in israel. she says she’s glad they can help with the suffering, that it’s good that they have that. she says she wishes they had something like that in palestine. of all the things she’s said so far, this is the saddest her voice has sounded. she tells us she doesn’t know what the answer is. she says there’s people in israel who can’t just leave but that palestine deserves better. she says she doesn’t have any friends anymore, not ones she talks to. she repeats herself a lot. she thanks us for fighting, for believing the world can be better. she says she doesn’t believe that, but that it’s important someone does. my comrade assures her a better world can be built, if not for us than at least for the children. she says the children are dead.
we ask if there’s anything we can do for her. she says to “tell my shitty story, so people know. know what it’s like.” when we have to part ways, she thanks us again for letting her talk. tells us again to tell her story.
hi to whoever saw the haruka (ft muu) art process screenshot thing…
i apologize if you saw it as harumuu shipart and found it LIKE WEIRD, i have no intentions of drawing them together like that…. The screenshot was SO OUT OF CONTEXT IM SO SORRY.. I SEE WHY ITD LOOK LIKE HARUMUU ART. (i know in that process post i said i dint ship them but i keep overthinking based off the ss alone)
that now written i rushed to complete the little comic whatever meme thing… so as to like PREVENT PEOPLE FROM THINKING ITS HARUMUU ART
im not even gonna color this.. i felt so shameful for making this so out of context (the first pic)