#she’s convinced him to go 50/50 with her having placement and it’s such BULLSHIT because shes an awful mother

[akkpipitphattana]

i think kids should have way more of a say in custody battles btw

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 12 Confessionals

I try not to be cocky but ... I'm sorry, Jordan trying to vote me and flopping - while using the CHAOS SQUAD gimmick - has to be my favorite move in this whole game. I think I must have fallen asleep at some point and been transported back to Taveuni because this is feeling awfully familiar!!! Caron and Zach going to rocks for me ... honestly, icons. I love them both. I'm sad that Katie had to be sacrificed but I'm glad that the other two survived because I'm going to need them to take down Jordan!! Nothing person, Jordan, but this is not going to be Taveuni 2.0 ... I'm not going to let you comp win your way to the end. Not today, Satan. NOT TODAY!

I can't believe... that worked... I deadass went to Charlotte with information of Luke/Jordan wanting her out, and I knew that the chances of Char believing me were fairly slim since our history in KS. But I figured, and Carson did as well, that J/L/K are a trio, and although a quad with Char, that they are extremely powerful in this game and they have such a good argument to win in the final 2 due to the 7-2 slant of ulta/copa Now I feel like we have a pretty solid 3 of Char/Carson/myself vs Jordan/Luke. I'm going for immunity hard because I know that if J/L win, then they're going to idol the other person, and one of the ulta members will leave. At least in the chance that I (or even Carson/Char) win immunity, it's a 50-50 chance. I think Carson has the least likely chance of being voted by them though, so good for him! Seeing Katie being rocked out thought was sad because I enjoy her and think she's amazing, but was SO FUCKING GREAT! CARSON AND I WERE SO HYPED BECAUSE WE MADE sappy messages being like "it was great meeting you again, i love you and we should be friends once this season's over :(" SINCE IT WAS A 66.7% CHANCE ONE OF US WERE LEAVING AND ALSO, I EXPERIENCED A ROCK DRAW. I can finally die happy. I kind of wish I got rocked out, but nonetheless i'm still grateful to be here. Immunity is live tonight so that's worrying too. Overall, "Operation: Eject Luke" was partially a success since we weakened their strong trio, but there's still a lot of game to play. I haven't even thought about the final two plea yet, but I know that I was the person who got this flip to happen so... i'm on some path, at least.

Last round was WAY too wild. I was so sure we had the numbers to get Charlotte out but it turns out they were playing us, ROCKS WERE DRAWN, and Katie went home which sucks because she was a definite number for Jordan and myself so now we're outnumbered. But being outnumbered is our speciality, we've been outnumbered this entire game. I have the idol in my back pocket and I'm 100% set on using that idol on myself if I don't win the immunity challenge. If Jordan wins immunity, I play it on myself. If I win immunity, I play it on Jordan. If neither of us wins.....sorry Pines, every Copa for himself?

I was going to do a video confessional but honestly I'm too tired. Somehow I seem to have been put in a position where I'm in the middle of two alliances and have to decide what I want to go with. Again. Seriously, I wasn't kidding when I said that I felt like we were back in Taveuni. I spent like 45 minutes on call with Carson and Zach last night trying to figure out what we wanted to do. There's a pretty good chance that Luke has the idol and we're pretty sure that he's not reckless enough to try to play it on Jordan and leave himself exposed. That would be an insane kind of loyalty, right? There's also the possibility that Katie was voted out with it, or that Jordan has it and he's been playing up being 'desperate' and worried this vote ... but that seemed pretty Extra even for him. If he had an idol, he'd just play it and call it a day.. right? I suppose there's the off chance that he could be trying to get both he and Luke through this vote but that just can't happen. I'm sorry, you're C*pa ... you can't seriously expect two of you to make it to Final 4. It's a miracle you've survived as long as you have! I mean .. no. Just no. I'm in this awkward position though because like ... okay, I spent an hour on call (maybe 90 minutes? IDK) with Jordan last night and I do genuinely like him as a person. As extra as he might be. Do I want to support my local Jordan Pines and save him? Eh, that's up for debate... though there's no denying that having him around certainly makes my life more interesting. Good interesting or bad interesting? Again, up for debate. Zach and Carson are the reason why I'm still here. If it weren't for my relationships with them, Jordan might have successfully voted me out and not played the fool with that Chaos Squad bullshit. AGAIN.  Turning on them to save the person who tried to vote me out last round? Even if he's promising me he'll cut Luke off at F4 and take me to F3? I'd have to be a moron. I'd have to be the stupidest person on the planet to trust Jordan Pines again. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice? Burn, bitch. Burn. So I'm going to talk to Jordan today, and I'm going to consider my options, but the chances of me flopping are slim to none. I think it would be an awful game move and it would tank my jury relationships on the off chance I managed to make it to the F2. Way to go, Jordan. Look what you made me do.

So I know I said last round that it was every Copa for himself and that the idol was being played on me.....well....idk how sure that it is now but I could possibly be playing the idol on Jordan Pines. I know it's crazy and it could completely backfire on me but like.....I'm so nervous about this round. We're trying to convince Charlotte to vote with us but we don't think that she's going to do it so we have to think long and hard about which of us the idol is going to be played on. Eurgh...I hate that Golden Rope. 

JORDAN PINES ISNT FUCKING DYING, LUKE IS PLAYING THE IDOL ON ME FUCKIGN FREEDOM. FINAL 4 AND THEN I AM TWO CHALLENGES AWAY FROM HOPEFULLY WINNING OMG AHHHHHHH JORDAN FUCKING PINESIF LUKE GOES TONIGHT, I WILL CRY, LIKE ACTUALLY BREAK DOWN IN TEARS. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THICK AND THIN TOGETHER ADN I DO NOT WANT TO FINISH THIS GAME WITHOUT HIM. in all sincerity i would rather lose to luke in finals than win without him there. He is my rock in this game, and if I survive and he doesn't tonight. I might just cry.

sooo... i used the golden rope to stop jordan from winning immunity?? so charlotte won immunity bc of me, then i get to go to wishing well and get: [10/4/2017 6:52:39 PM] Ryan Palmer: Congratulations! You have earned yourself a task from the well. Once you complete this task to the hosts appeasement you may earn a special reward. This is the Final Five tribal council, it's a big one! And this Reward you can earn is MASSIVE! It can drastically alter the fate of this game. And for a power that big, you need to do something drastic to earn it. You need to Self-Vote at this Tribal Council. As long as you don't submit an official vote this power will be yours. And another temptation, just know that this power can be used whether you are in or out of the game. If you do not complete it you will earn nothing. LIKE... im not gonna self vote out of this game so im not gonna go for it even though i desperately want to. with jordan and luke both able to be voted for, it seems like we're gonna be voting for jordan, assuming luke has the idol and will use it for himself?? i hope that we're able to somehow do something where i wont be idoled out. i reaslly hope im not idoled out bc i just wanna make it past 4th so i can improve my placement this time around. idk if theyre voting me ro zach but honestly... i might be a shitty ally by saying this, but i hope theyre voting zach :/ i dont wanna be idoled out at all and i feel like i might be taking this game a bit more seriously than zach?? idk i dont want either of us to go so ill pray for that outcome instead. i really hope i can survive this tribal

So like ideally I think the vote tonight is going to be 3-2 Jordan/Me or Jordan/Carson. Preferably Carson just because I like my track record of minimal votes, but I doubt that I will be receiving 0 votes tonight. On a similar note, there's chances that I won't even be here tomorrow. Like... my gut tells me Jordan is going to be idolled and i'll be leaving. Going out with a bang, tbh. If I leave tonight, will I be proud? Let's go down memory lane. I will be proud. Despite being inactive due to consecutive immunities, I played during the merge. I came in as a 2nd placer, and potentially am getting fifth with 2 (or 4/5) votes cast against me total. I flipped votes, survived rocks, fucked over jordan pines' immunity (OKAY THAT LAST ONE WAS NOT GOOD I FELT SHITTY AS FUCK), but nonetheless I accomplished a lot or experienced more than the average survivor game. I hope it's in my favour tonight and that I wake up to see the final four. If not, then i'm satisfied with my experience and at least I go out somewhat big (idol, that is. if someone flips ill be disappointed) and on that note, it'd be dumb for C/C to flip because.. say hi to 3rd and 4th!

so apparently jordan/luke are voting zach if theyre telling the truth to charlotte (or if charlottes telling the truth to me, you never know.) im praying + hoping ill be safe and make it to the final 4 to hopefully match or redeem myself from my previous athena placement. ive just come so far i cant lose now idk.ive put so much into this game. jordans WAY more desperate acting than luke so idk if lukell play it on jordan if he has it or whatever ahhhh

You know, Jordan Pines almost convinced me to save him. It's nine minutes until tribal and I'm still not 100% sure I'm doing this. I guess we'll find out, won't we?