#she’s had a very bad few days lately so ive decided to FULLY commit to completely ignoring her

[tallymali]

when yuki is having a bad trauma day she haaaatessss to hear my voice. i dont yell at her and mostly im not even looking at or speaking to her. i talk to boyf in a calm quiet voice and she starts yowling and growling about it. i need to get my hands on her previous owners kneecaps🫶

[cocktail-party-in-an-abattoir]

In Memoriam Herschel (2005-2021)

           It was the late summer/early autumn of 2005. I was 16 years old. I went to a friend’s house for a get-together with other friends. She lived in a more rural area, so stray cats were not uncommon. One of these strays had recently birthed a litter of kittens. They were corralled into a blocked-off area in my friend’s den. Naturally, we all gravitated towards the kittens. We spent a good while petting them, playing with them, holding them, and watching them with their mother. A particular kitten was a gray and white tabby. This kitten had made its way towards me and tried to crawl up one of my jean legs. I was wearing bootcut jeans, so it actually managed it. I was immediately drawn to this kitten, the idea of asking my parents if we could keep it already forming.

While my friends and I were playing with them, we decided to give them all smartass, noncommittal names. None of us could sex kittens, so that was reflected in the names we chose. I named the gray and white tabby (of which there were two, but I zeroed in on the jean leg kitten) “Herschel.” Why? Well, when I was eight or nine, I used to play House with friends. I had heard the name “Herschel” on some sitcom, and I liked the sound of it. So, I often named my fake son “Herschel.” This became an inside joke between my best friend and me.

            Back at home, I asked my mom if we could adopt the kitten. She had veto power. She was kind of hesitant at first but eventually relented. A few weeks later my friend and her mom brought the kitten over to my house. By that point I was already seriously referring to it as “Herschel.” We all just kind of assumed it was male. The first thing Herschel did after getting out of the carrying case was hide behind one of our bookcases and stayed there.

            We took Herschel to the vet. Upon examination the vet tech proclaimed he was, in fact, she. Her exact words were “You have a little girl!” For better or for worse, I was committed to “Herschel” (much to my mom’s chagrin), so from then on, I had a girl cat with a boy name. This led to years of various people (mostly veterinary staff) getting her sex wrong. I don’t know that I ever bothered correcting them because, well, they were going to find out the truth soon enough.

            Between 2005 and 2010, Herschel grew from a kitten with what my mom described as “Yoda ears” into a gorgeous young lady. She had the most beautiful green eyes. People always had nice things to say about her looks. She had an adorable bow-legged gait from the beginning. She grew into an affectionate little cuddle-bug once she adjusted to us. She was wary of strangers, which was probably for the best. She did not like to go outside as much as our older cat, Simba (RIP)—especially after being treed once—but she was a very skilled huntress. She even managed to get two hummingbirds. Obviously, I’m not a fan of such “presents,” but I couldn’t help but be impressed by her prowess.

            In 2007, we adopted 2 labs named Olive and Penny (RIP x2). 2010, we adopted two fluffy black kittens from our vet’s office. We named them Buttercup and Licorice (RIP x2). Herschel respected Simba because of his seniority, but she absolutely despised the other pets. She would growl and hiss at them on sight. Because of this, the dogs had to stay downstairs while the cats had free rein upstairs. By 2012, Buttercup had gone missing, and we had adopted two more animals: a cat named Kid Twist (“Twist” for short) and a blue heeler named Bleu. Herschel did not care for them either. That same year my parents moved one state over, and I moved to a nearby city to stay with a family friend. The Menagerie went with my parents.

            One day in 2013 or 2014 my mom commented about how Herschel hid under a guest room bed much of the time. She would only come out to do her business or eat. Since the dogs had free rein over the entire house, this meant there was no real “safe space” for Herschel. Thus, her reclusiveness. Mom was worried about her well-being. I offered to take Herschel under my wing. Mom agreed. Now, my housemate already had a few cats, so it wasn’t perfect, but it was an improvement over a house with dogs. Herschel had been under my care since.

            In 2015 Herschel moved with me into the apartment I currently live in. Despite my apartment’s smallness, she was finally the one cat in a one-cat home. I had stopped letting her out because a) my apartment complex is positively labyrinthine b) the complex is next to a busy highway, and c) I wanted her to live longer and not harm any wildlife (although her hunting days were behind her). She didn’t seem to mind. For the next few years, she was my kitty comrade. Aside from some dental issues and a heart murmur, she always had a clean bill of health. I honestly thought she was going to live as long as Simba had (18, almost 19) because he was also a spry geriatric cat.

            In late 2020, Herschel was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. She had been growing thinner and vomiting before I found out. I had to start giving her medication twice per day, but there was otherwise no change. She was still the empress I knew and loved, if a little slower. I thought that was going to be it. Then, earlier this year, the vet ran some more tests. While I had managed to lower her thyroid levels, the vet found another problem: chronic kidney disease. My blood ran cold upon hearing this because one of our pet labs, Olive, had died from kidney failure a few years prior. The vet told me while there was no cure, CKD could be managed with diet changes and medication. He was right, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with Herschel. She quickly went from stage 3 to stage 4 (4 being the end stage). I still kick myself about this because I feel like I could’ve found out sooner. Anyway, the vet suggested I should have Herschel hospitalized for a couple of days with IV fluids. The idea was to basically rehydrate her and then start a regimen of a new diet, supplements, and medication.

            So, I waited outside for three hours until a hospital staff member came to collect Herschel. It would’ve been longer, but my very kind vet called ahead. A couple of days later my mom and I returned to the hospital to wait for Herschel. It was March 25th, my birthday. One of the vets called me and stated despite the diuresis, Herschel’s stats remained the same. She stated I had probably 2 weeks left with her. I knew she was right, but I was still determined to try. I gave her daily cocktails of medication. I learned how to give her subcutaneous injections to hydrate her. I got the prescription wet food. At first, she had more okay days than bad, but it eventually became clear she was circling the drain. Treatment transformed into hospice care. I was going to do everything possible to keep her comfortable. By the end she was incontinent and no longer eating or drinking. Then she stopped being able to walk. I knew I had to make the final appointment. After a long crying session, I did.

            My mom came to help yesterday. Herschel was mostly immobile and out of it. Not even her favorite prosciutto roused her. I swaddled her in a changing pad and a blanket and slept with her next to me for one more night. She was still alive this morning if barely. Before we were set to go to her final appointment, I played her Sugarloaf’s “Green-Eyed Lady” (which will always remind me of her) and Audrey Hepburn’s version of “Moon River.” As my mom and I went to prepare her for the appointment, we realized how still she was. She did not appear to be breathing, and she did not react to anything we did. I took a flashlight to her pupils and… she was gone. She had died peacefully on my couch, which was one of her favorite spots to lounge. Honestly, I was relieved because the thought of taking her to a strange place to be euthanized frankly distressed me. I cuddled her ragdoll body from then until we were sitting in the vet office’s parking lot. Mom got a chance to hold her, too. A vet tech came out, used her stethoscope, and confirmed what we already knew. After a few more minutes with her we said our last goodbyes. I filled out paperwork confirming I wanted her ashes returned to me with a clay pawprint.

            I want Herschel’s ashes buried on my parents’ property with the others. Maybe a little farther away since she did not like most of them. I’m also looking into urn jewelry so I can carry her with me. This cat saw me at some of my lowest points, including when I was furloughed from my job last year. This cat was sweet and affectionate but also a pesky little shit. This cat was the first living being I was fully responsible for. She somehow managed to be regal while shoving her butthole into your face. If she liked you, she came and sat with you. If she didn’t, she hid behind the washing machine. I’m convinced she was part slug because even at her largest she was able to fit into confined spaces. I will miss her trilling meows. She was beautiful to the end, and I will always love her and miss her. I don’t know if there is an afterlife or not, but if there is, I hope she has endless king crab and prosciutto to snack on.

[renaramblesaboutcomics]

Wednesday Roundup 13.9.2017

Well, it’s obviously Sunday and not Wednesday but I finally got the Roundup out. My apologies if anyone was anxiously awaiting my Roundup this week but due to both the huge number of comics I had to go through and the fact that I had a lot going on this past week in my personal life, including two seven hour car drives, this was a bit difficult to fit into the schedule.

But I managed and late is still better than never so let’s get into how the second week of September’s comic yield treated us!

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine, Marvel’s Defenders, DC’s Detective Comics, Marvel’s Elektra Vol. 1, DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman, Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists, Marvel’s Runaways, DC’s Titans, IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light, DC’s Wonder Woman

DC’s All-New Wolverine (2015-present) #24 Tom Taylor, Leonard Kirk, Michael Garland, Erick Arciniega

I love this comic so much that I’m certain that me even talking about another issue in one of these Roundups probably sounds hilariously repetitive at this point, but I just so love this book, and even my disinterest in comic space operas didn’t take away from the amazingness of this book because Taylor understands how to make a comic compelling.

Story: We come to the end of the contagion/space opera storyline with the emphasis that this book works best with, which is the unendingly positive relationship between Laura and Gabby. Laura’s attachment to Gabby and their belief in each other is unlike anything we’ve ever seen for Laura’s character before and it just never stops amazing me. They are the defining part of this book and, more importantly, they are the defining part of each other’s overarching character arcs -- Gabby teaching Laura to take care of herself (literally and metaphorically), Laura giving Gabby the encouragement and support she never had herself. There was no other way this book could have ended but with these two proving to beat the odds again, and that makes the resolution feel deserved, as well as how the healing factor they both share has been a driving part of this storyline to begin with. 

Art: Kirk does solid work throughout this issue, particularly with the expressionism you see in Laura’s face throughout, and I really liked the alien designs. But that all being said there was some off model panels and the such which is just to be expected from working on a monthly comic. It still is very good art and the colors helped make each change of scenery. 

Characters & Dialogue: Of course I covered our titular Wolverines, but it needs to be said that I actually really appreciate Jonathan unexpectedly beginning to speak English? Because that’s hysterical but it also fits, and I love that he still spoke with perspective of a Wolverine. I also thought Taylor did a good job with the voices of the Guardians, too, 

Marvel’s Defenders (2017-present) #5 Brian Michael Bendis, David Marquez, Justin Ponsor

*long heralding breath* So just one week after my epic Bendis rant, I.. reveal that I’m also following his run on the current Defenders. Which... I mean in my defense, if I want to keep up with just about anything going on at Marvel that isn’t the crapshow that is Secret Empire, I have to concede to the fact that Bendis is still the writer on half of those books too. Which... I mean if you’re like me and you have that super complicated relationship I have with BMB then you understand why this is both a necessity and a blow to your standards. I know, I know. I’m disappointed in myself, too.

Story: As much as I really could have done without the cliffhanger on this issue, this continues to be one of the comics that Bendis really manages to perform at his best on, and arguably that’s because he’s invested so much time and work over his career into developing most of these characters -- particularly Jessica, Luke, and Daredevil. 

The pacing has remained on top, Frank Castle’s actually respected as a character but also portrayed as incredibly dangerous to everyone involved, and the humor has been true to the characters and situation. All of which is very commendable... if not .... a bit annoying and repetitive at times. Like yes, Marvel stupidly retconned that Matt had a public identity because they can’t commit to anything that disrupts the status quo. It doesn’t make it less annoying that half the dialogue involving him is lampshading everyone not knowing his identity. 

There’s also the patented Bendis rhetorical advice where you have two or more panels of the exact same panel for ~dramatic pauses~ which I think only long time Bendis readers have burned into their alert systems. But overall, when Bendis is good he nails it. 

Art: Marquez and Ponsor are honestly some of the best talent in the industry right now and I like that they don’t just sit back on their laurels but adapt their styles just enough to match the tone of every book. It gives the Marvel universe a consistency without sacrificing the individuality of books. And it really makes a difference on this title, I feel. 

Characters & Dialogue: There’s the punchy dialogue you expect from Bendis writing but like I said, you can definitely tell where his investment for character lies. Which... makes it conspicuous when his writing for Luke always tends to be a bit worthy of criticism. But this villain Diamondback? gahhhhhhhhhh I legitimately cringe at some points. like nooooo let’s not. 

DC’s Detective Comics (2016-present) #964 James Tynion IV, Christopher Sebela, Carmen Camero, Ulises Arrelo

I have such a love-hate relationship with this comic, I swear. There’s probably not a single comic I cheer on more and want to be at its very best but there’s also no other comic that receives my critical ire the way ‘Tec does. Is it all fair? Eh. Arguable. Is it all with love? Also arguable. We’ll see where that takes us for this particular issue.

Story: Look, it’s as obvious as can be at this point that no one’s as critical and just simply not on board for a Clayface redemption storyline than I am. I don’t want it at all. I was never on board with it. Never will be. And... in that way it felt like Detective Comics was actually addressing me and readers like me through this issue. The entire plot with Clayface is ... questionable at best to begin with, but to have one of his victims fully lay it out for him and us just how there’s so little he could ever do to undo the clock for himself or others. And he proves that even more by how poorly he reacts to this news and blows his second chance over it just... feels deserved after SO LONG of them just ignoring it. 

And then they had it tie into Cass’ character arc in the end by her deciding that she and Basil are the same. And they’re not!!! They’re just not. It’s amazing that it can feel like such a slap in the face. Especially when this is such.... a B-story and yet it got the cover? Sure. Whatever.

In any case, the main story is Steph, Leslie, and Harper all apparently drinking the kool-aid that Anarky is giving them. And then Bruce coming and subtly pushing Steph out of her moments of happiness, even if it’s for the right reason and I’m just here wondering “uh. Tim’s back next issue why is this not resolved yet?” These issues would have worked so much better if Steph’s story was not taken away from by constantly giving Clayface’s story panel time that should have just been kept on Steph. She deserved more development before Tim got back, and her arc should be more satisfying by now. 

Also. When is Detective Comics going to bother to actually have, you know, detective stories? Mysteries? Ever? no? great.

Art: The art rotation on this book is always great, even when it’s not my favorite artists it’s still just beyond fantastic and some of the best getting published at DC right now. Which makes you wonder how they manage it with a bimonthly title like ‘Tec. It’s good, and even its splash pages are easy to read and follow which is such a relief these days. 

Characters & Dialogue: I feel like the characterizations and development was the weakest it’s been in ‘Tec for a while, especially since it’s usually the high point of the comic. This time around, though, there’s just too much that feels unresolved and unsatisfying. Like.... why didn’t Bruce go after Steph and make sure she knew that Tim was alive? At the very least. 

And again I feel like this comes down to the fact that Steph’s time was split on the page with Clayface’s even though their storylines didn’t intersect thematically or literally! And it’s ridiculous considering we just came off of several issues where Azrael’s arc got center stage and even though there was a B story (CONCERNING CLAYFACE AGAIN) there was a majority of time spent with Jean Paul and his perspective. 

Marvel’s Elektra: Always Bet On Red (2017)  Matt Owens, Juann Cabal, Antonio Fabela

If there are two characters at Marvel who I have a more complicated relationship with than Arcade and Elektra... Well, honestly, it’s just probably because I haven’t read enough of the characters that would meet that criteria for me. Elektra, on paper, is the type of female antiheroine/villain that really truly love, with plenty of pathos but also a lack of only being an antiheroine through redemption or changing her methods. A Bad Woman who is allowed to be a Bad Woman. Arcade is a character whose general MO and abilities are a cross of three of my favorite villains in general -- the Riddler, Toyman, and Calculator -- and has been the villain for a few stories I greatly love. But I don’t love them because...  Well, it feels like most of the time writers don’t know what to do with Elektra because they only know how to make female villains likable by either giving them a redemption arc or by making them a love interest -- things that either would not stick for her established character or would make her tied to Daredevil inseperably. ANd Arcade has been given Joker-levels of mass murdering -- especially of children in the Marvel Universe -- to the point that it’s hard for me to really enjoy his presence on its face anymore.

So. That leaves the question of how this story works for me as a whole with quite a steep slope to get up on its own.

Story: For being about two characters who I have, at the very least, very high apprehensions about, this story managed to be fascinating, compelling, and altogether rather satisfying in the use of both Elektra and Arcade for what they can contribute to a narrative. The stakes were high throughout, especially once Elektra was trapped within the Murder World, but it all benefited from her unique perspective and the general unpredictability that Arcade brings to any story as a villain. 

The back drop of Las Vegas for the adventure, too, was a stroke of some brilliance because the characters both fit there and clashed for the parts of the “mythology” of the city, as it were, that they represented. 

Still it was far from perfect, and while I’m obviously no huge defender of Arcade or a fan by any means, the weak point here was actually the side characters, especially on the “first level” of the game that Elektra encountered or how disposable the majority of her opponents and teammates were. The stakes were high for Elektra to survive, certainly, but it clashed with her new code of ethics -- of taking life to save life -- to have her not even familiarize herself enough with the people on her own team to take their deaths to heart. Which is why the “next” level where she had to race the clock and save her newfound friend more engaging than the Saw-like devastation we saw on display when she had a larger group who were all taken out one by one. Mostly without reaction from Elektra herself.

And if this team were mostly not fighters and not compelling, then what attracted Arcade to them enough to put them in Murder World? Did he think that feeling responsible for them would weigh Elektra down enough to make the competition more even? Obviously not since he went through the trouble of kidnapping the only person in the city that Elektra had remotely bothered to make a human relationship with. So the entire “first level” was just very confused in my book. I would have either had Elektra working with a small group who all died immediately, or have been the only one in the initial level to make it seem like Arcade took her as a serious enough threat and thus sicked an entire group against her. Either of those would have made the story more compelling. 

Art: The art is amazingly beautiful and consistent throughout the trade. This really does prove the point that I and so many other comic readers and reviewers have been making a while now with a consistent art team truly enhances the visual and narrative cohesion of a story and can make a much tighter and easier to follow along with. And here it not only works but it provides for some truly beautifully done and well controlled action sequences that remind me of straight back to the Dylan Horrocks run of Batgirl (2000-2006)

I also want to shout out to the shear inventiveness that was allowed for by the environment of Murder World. Like in the panels I posted here for example, the meging of this house comic style with retro gaming honestly worked so much in the favor of this comic it’s unreal. I really enjoyed it

Characters & Dialogue: While Arcade is... well, what I expect from Arcade these days, xnd honestly that’s more than I can ask for at this point because.. Agin, literal mass murderer. But Elektra really does come off the bst here (as she should in her own title). Still very much the antiheroine, Elektra for once is given a lot of motivation that centers -- albeit subtly -- on the ideas and pressures of unity in womanhood and the protectiveness she can grow toward other women. It’s the deaths of a shipment of entrapped, trafficked women that set Elektra off on this quest of self discovery, and it’s the protection and comforting of a woman she befriends in Las Vegas that prompts her motivations within this particular story. And honestly? It really works for me. She has always been a character most defined by the loyalties she holds, and they have never been many. But it’s nice to see her even reluctantly discovering herself through these non-romantic relationships with other women for once. It was really enjoyable and, like I said, subtle. 

DC’s Harley Quinn and Batman (2017) #3 Ty Templeton, Luciano Vecchio

Hm. I won’t be going into this subject in the bulk of the main review due to how I section things out and because I’m not going to completely judge this story before it’s completed, but I feel like here’s as good of a place as any to discuss the issues of queerbaiting. I have very complicated feelings about Ivy and Harley as a couple. I enjoy their dynamic, I enjoy the ship, and I want it to be canon and receive plenty of focus more than almost anything else to do with the two characters. But I can’t be joyful when it’s dangled in front of me -- especially in scenes like the one above, because it is such a queerbaiting classic to use these two or to, at the very least, have the question the creative teams behind them because a good percentage of the time it’s fetishizing a flf relationship for the sexual gratification of men without ever committing to actually canonizing a sapphic relationship. And I’m one lesbian who’s pretty damn tired about it honestly. And that’s what this issue felt like to me -- queerbait by hinting and innuend os for the relationship between Harley and Ivy when being blatant in allowing Harley to hit on Nightwing and Catwoman to hit on Batman in the scene right before this. 

And now I have to be even more on guard for this comic to follow the plot of the animated movie and be worried that this all is just setup for a pointless and literally out of nowhere sex scene between Harley and Dick. Great.

Story: Much the same here, though I have to admit that the turn of pace right at the end by having Harley realize her status as seen among the rest of Gotham’s crime community is that of “Queen Hench” and thus declaring that she was going to take charge and no longer play second banana was a great moment. Especially since Ivy is strangely cold and dismissive of Harley in this story, compared to usual at least. It must have something to do with our weird mystery man. Or the writers just deciding that we’re now going to write Harley and Ivy’s relationship with the exact same tones and beats that they did for the Joker and Harley despite FINALLY canonically having Harley call his abuse of her what it was. And the scenes with Bruce and Dick I’m... just of two minds about, I don’t love or hate them. They seem to be there for comedic relief B story to Harley’s main story which is... hilarious in a meta sense but, hey, it gets me more puns. 

Just don’t let it all be setup for whoopee with Dick and Harley. For the love of god PLEASE.

Art: Wow holy crap. Every complaint I made about the previous issues is addressed and fixed. The lineart’s crisp, the coloring is bright and variable, the characters don’t go off model nearly as much, and it’s still very much that identifiable DCAU style but also has that mark of belonging to its artist. Who is not Rick Burchett anymore. Maybe every couple of issues we’re going to get a trade off, but I have to say, for my personal tastes this was a stunningly crisp evolution of the art for the story and I appreciated it almost immediately. 

Characters & Dialogue: Harley is great as always, and I liked Selina’s characterization and the details put forward about how she’s actually on parole and whatnot. but I’m still not sold on Ivy’s characterization here. After all she’s the one who went to Harley and saved her, not the other way around. So why is she suddenly being so weird and mysterious. 

The only other major characters are Bruce and Dick and... it’s just weird. There’s this disconnect with their personalities where I feel like this would make a lot more sense if Dick was in the Robin suit. I mean, why not? He was older and more mature in the Robin years of the DCAU anyway, he had this same rapport with Bruce. He didn’t have this kind of relationship with Bruce in his Nightwing years of the DCAU. So I’m just confused all over. I’m sure it’s just because the movie did it this way which probably means sex which probably means you’re going to be getting a lot of screaming and angry keyboard smashing from me in the future *le sigh*

Marvel’s Immortal Iron Fists (2017) #4 (of 6) Kaare Andrews, Afu Chan, Shelly Chen

Will I ever stop enjoying this comic to the utmost extreme in spite of all my Danny Rand reservations and general apprehension with the whole Iron Fist concept? It’s still questionable, but not in this issue at least because I still love the heck out of Pei, Danny, and general ridiculous adventures of middle school and Kung Fu. 

Story: Pei’s still trying to find her spot among cliques and within the realm itself, with Danny in her life, and with her destiny as the future Iron Fist. And she also won the dance queen because she beat up the people that were going to cheat for her nemesis. And I love it. I love all of it. But I most of all love that Pei’s perspective is not admonished or treated as childish by the narrative, even when she’s not being the most reasonable. Danny and the scroll storyline also got more concentration mostly because we’re narrowing in on the Big Bad and only have two issues left. So it was all pretty positive. Especially since the end brought both storylines together at long last.

Art: It’s precious still and fits with Pei’s story perfectly. But there were plenty of panels where this same style’s take on Danny was... gruesomely ugly and terrifying. I can’t tell if that’s a a bug or a feature. 

Characters & Dialogue: Pei and Danny are as great as always, but I really want to thank this comic for having a children’s, all-ages story which prominently features an undeniable queer romance featuring kids. It’s so refreshing and lovingly done that it genuinely warmed my heart. Much like the short film “In a Heartbeat” we need more unsexualized queer romances for younger children to attach to. I’m glad to see it here. 

Marvel’s Runaways (2017-present) #1 Rainbow Rowell, Kris Anka, Matthew Wilson

This is incredibly exciting, because I actually never read Runaways while it was being published in any of the previous iterations, but thanks to the recommendations of close friends, I started and finished reading the previous volumes in time to get excited for the comic’s return here under a promising new team and fantastic, beautiful art. 

Story: Being the first issue, this is a lot of set up, especially with Nico’s circumstances since the previous series and the team’s apparent breakup. I love that the scars are deep but the comic goes out of its way to be inviting to old and new readers alike in introducing Nico, her powers, their limitations, and the Gert and Chase and their relationship as well as their relevance to the team. I’m very curious about all the set up -- especially how the current storyline seems to be setting up that Nico’s running out of spells with the Staff of One and it’s a legitimate problem that will be needing address. Hopefully the story won’t drop it where it is. 

Art: Wow I was really wowed with just how beautiful the art was in this comic. Kris Anka hadn’t been on my radar before this but they definitely are now. The character models were great, the apartment felt lived in and fully thought out, and everyone in general just seems to have properly aged and their current iterations are exactly how you would imagine they would be from the previous volumes.

Characters & Dialogue: We haven’t rejoined the entire cast of the Runaways just yet, but the work with Nico who was central to this issue was phenomenal set up and really appreciated. Chase is as obsessed with saving Gert as ever, and the love between him and Gert seems to have been where the previous left off. I liked the ingenuity that was on display from all the characters and the genuine love and concern they obviously had for each other. Just great all around. 

DC’s Titans (2016-present) #15 Dan Abnett, Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund, Andrew Dalhouse

Everyone else learns that Dick was the traitor and Titans manages to actually subvert everyone’s expectations. In all honesty, I’ve been blown away by how surprisingly good this comic has continued to be despite everything that should have been working against it. 

Story: Like I mentioned above, Dick being the traitor was completely subverted by having Roy immediately discover it and the rest of the team ready to take him on as a result, only for Dick to prove that he was thinking ahead and using his position to undermine the HIVE, unlike in previous New Titans stories where Dick was under the control of Brother Blood or others. And I like that as tested as the relationships feel like they are at the moment, there is a real sense that the team’s built on something stronger and more durable. And I like that Mal and Gnarrk’s storyline is getting more prominent in the story as well. And I would say that this is going to prove that they’re stretching the current storyline out just a bit too much... except for that ending. The idea of Wally actually having a heart attack has completely changed the story for me because this feels like an actual game changer. 

Art: Once again I’m in the position of not knowing really what to say about Brett Booth’s art for the comic that I haven’t already. He’s surprised me with his character art lately, but I still get extremely annoyed with the over use of slanted and action-styled panel layouts that really don’t match what���s going on in the story or the art. Dynamic panels just don’t fit pages of dialogue in between action set pieces and that’s all I have really to add. It’s good! The layouts could be better, but the art itself is just fine.

Characters & Dialogue: The relationships and characterizations are so closely tied to the narrative of Titans -- like my favorite team books usually are -- that going over the story beats tends to cover the characters and dialogue. That being said, because there are so many characters and so much change going on that it’s hard to say who has the most impact on this particular issue, and I’d argue that it’s going to prove that Titans is a book that might be better read arc to arc rather than issue to issue so that the overall feel of whose story this is would be more apparent. 

IDW’s Transformers: Lost Light (2016-present) #9 James Roberts, Priscilla Tramontano, Joana Lafuente

It’s strange only be subscribed to one Transformers comic at a time right now, but as much as I miss TAAO even now, I’m greatly excited by how much Lost Light seems to be JRo and the team getting back to that amazing stride they had prior to Season 2 of MTMTE, and of course by that I mean that this single issue managed to bring me so much emotion and end me on both a positive note, fridge horror, and complete heartbreak all at once. 

Story: There was a small part of me that wanted to see the return of Skids, but I honestly feel like Lost Light maintained a good and consistent idea by not bringing him back and instead focusing on the relationships of the cast that are still available. This really was a two-issue storyline and it utilized every moment of it as well as every unique opportunity afforded by being about Transformers to begin with -- revival after death is possible, removing someone’s memories or emotions is possible, altering the factitious part of what someone is is a horrifyingly real possibility as easy as deleting a computer file -- an entire friendship, an entire love, gone in a moment. And of course there was so much emotion to gt through for our conclusion -- love, grief, friendship, betrayal, selfishness, selflessness, humor, and ultimately a supremely foreboding sense of what’s to come from the Lost Light’s adventures to come given that ominous conclusion. 

Art: Priscilla Tramontano is just... genuinely one of the best artists to work with Transformers and I’m so grateful to have her on Lost Light right now because it definitely helped ease some of that disappointment I’ve had with TAAO ending. Her art is gorgeous, her coloring is fantastic, and the expressions that are under her control are just fantastic start to finish. I liked how diferent everyone’s build looked even without color corrodination. Though, I will say, the brighter and shinier art did have some odds with Roberts’ patented darker elements in the storylinethat I think a change in coloring style may have helped at different points

Characters & Dialogue: I would argue that when it comes to characterization and when it comes to dialogue in the medium, there’s probably no one in comics more clever and ore fascinating than James Roberts. Every bit of dialogue is important, every change in tone is purposeful, and so much is fit into every issue it’s hard to not be starstruck. If there are readers who are not as invested in Nautica, Velocity, Anode, and Lug, I could see how these two issues may have been disappointing, but for me personally I liked narrowing down on our already lessened cast to get more ideas about their personalities and personal arcs. 

DC’s Wonder Woman (2016-present) #30 Shea Fontana, David Messina, Romulo Fajardo Jr.

I am honestly kind of in shock that.... DC is ending Shea Fontana’s run after only three months. Like, finding out about her being replaced by James Robinson of all people... and that he is starting off the bat with an arc centered around Diana’s new brother has almost eclipsed what should be my summation of this Wonder Woman run. So I’ll give a shout out to Fontana now. 

She had a nearly impossible task of taking over for Greg Rucka hot off of one of his best received and most acclaimed comic runs in years and she managed to rise to the occasion with an emphasis on Diana’s character, her relationships with the modern world, and her love for people but also her defiance of allowing her abilities to be misused by the wrong people, so she’s powerful and she’s in control of her autonomy. I greatly enjoyed her storyline and really appreciated her voice being added to Diana’s history. 

Story: We come to the end of “Heart of an Amazon”. It felt like a very quick wrap up of her storyline and I hope she wasn’t cut short on a run she thought would be longer, but the inspiration and the seriousness of Diana’s impact on the world around her was at the forefront with a healthy amount of good points for Steve and Etta in the climax. I wish we had more time to fully understand what parts of the government were a part of this plot against her, but it seems like that’s a line that will be dropped now, unfortunately. 

Art: The art has been somewhat inconsistent with Fontana’s run, but Messina is probably my favorite of the rotation. He has powerful anatomy for almost all the characters but especially with Diana, and her height was always emphasized. The colors were also really great for contrast and much appreciated. 

Characters & Dialogue: I went over this for the most part, but the best part of this storyline was Fontana really understanding the difficulties of Diana’s relationships with her loved ones in the modern world -- her protectiveness, but also the loneliness she feels being alone, and fears being left by others’ mortality. And I felt this had a decent resolution to that point that I really appreciated by letting Diana not necessarily be saved by Steve and Etta but her being reminded of how much they are there to take care of her, too. I really loved that emphasis and it made the ending feel that much better as a result. 

There were a lot of fantastic comics in this Roundup, but it’s hard to understate what an absolute home run, straight over the fences, that Runaways ended up being this week. It’s a shockingly great start to a series I’m now enthusiastically looking forward to. There is a lot of love that’s obviously there for the original Vaughn run and what it managed to do, but this comic also showed no fear in confronting many of the aspects of the series before it that could be more criticized and could use greater address. I have a lot of high expectations after this issue and I hope it can maintain its momentum. 

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[twoscoopsofrecovery]

re·cov·er·y 
a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
 I wouldn't say I'm in recovery, but I also wouldn't say I'm fully in my ed or addiction at this point. I feel like I'm re entering recovery. But this time fully and honest, and I think that is why it is taking a little longer to surrender. When I do surrender I am doing It fully and completely. Two months back in treatment. Three months since I last wrote, so as assigned I'm writing again. An assignment I actually don't mind, I get to do what I love. A lot has happened. I've found myself kicked out of my parents house, yet again, jobless, broke, living with friends. Seems to be the norm. My mood has been extremely unstable and my behaviors are out of control. Well, sort of. I stopped purging. Since December 20th, when I finally came back to rosewood, I've only purged once. Which, is crazy because before I came in I was purging everything I ate. So major improvement there. Readmitting myself was this whole process. Due to health reasons it took longer then expected. My doctor found I had pancreatitis, which freaked me out to no end and back and motivated me to start eating a little bit before I even got back into treatment. Which, was insanely hard. My first two to three weeks back, I couldn't finish a single meal. It was humiliating to some extent, I felt completely incapable. With restricting, I haven't really been. There's this grey area in my brain where if I don't have the means to eat and if I don't have money, I don't have to eat. Which, was a bit of a problem maybe a week or two ago but I've seemed to improve with that one. So I guess my behaviors aren't out of control; I haven't purged, meal plan compliant, I don't binge, I don't use laxatives/diuretics/diet pills, I don't over exercise. Where does the problem stand then? Easy: my drinking. I'm in a constant debate with myself lately. Do I have an alcohol problem? A year ago I would've instinctively answered yes, I am an alcoholic. Today, well, I am not sure how to answer that question. I've drank a couple times now since being back. I'm supposed to be sober, everyone is supposed to be sober while in a program like this. My rational is: if I don't have a problem, I shouldn't have a problem staying sober for the duration of my stay at rosewood. But I find myself trying to sneak around the rules to drink. Is it a problem? I'm not too sure. When I drink I don't do so excessively, just enough to get decently drunk. Which, if you know me, you'd know its pretty easy for me because I basically have zero tolerance. So, again, I ask, where is the problem? The problem that I am encountering is not the actual alcohol it's self, or any drugs, or anything tangible for that matter. I do not think I am physically addicted to any substance currently as it stands. What I am addicted to, is escaping. And that's where the problem lays. I can't handle my reality, I want to get plastered, and forget about the shit show I call my life. I'm still terribly depressed and it keeps coming and going in waves and I can't really take it anymore. My life is currently rotating between, I want to kill myself and I'm writing a suicide note, to, my life is amazing and I love everyone so much and I'm so grateful for what I do have and people are inherently good. Which, is exhausting. A wave of sadness hit me the other day. Partially due to concerns, partially because of no reason. The other night I spent most of the evening with my boyfriend. I almost went into a flash back and started disassociating but was able to pull myself out of it before it had happened. He was extremely supportive and understanding, which was extremely comforting while I was in a more vulnerable place. When I got back to my friends place that I'm staying at, I was texting him, and something had come up. I've found myself scared to think about what things would be like with out him. Which, is insane because I haven't thought that about someone since my ex who I dated for almost two years. I don't find myself pushing him away, if anything I'm scared because I know I'm becoming attached, and commitment is scary, but I want it so badly. So, relationship wise, I'm extremely happy with where it's going. I'm very grateful I met someone who gets me and is there for me. It's going on the right direction, I'm in love, I'm happy, communication is there, things are good. So abnormal for me, but hey I'll take it. It's good and exciting. But, i miss my mom. My sisters, my brother. I know I have family, they're there, just not there right now. I have other family, family of choice vs. family of origin. I have people around me that help me out and are there for me. But I still miss them. So much. Before I readmitted me and my mom had probably the best mother daughter relationship I could of ever asked for. We had very real conversations about life; the good the bad, the nitty gritty details of addictions and my eating disorder. My mom confided in me and I the same. I miss my mother terribly. I miss my sisters and their beautiful sun-filled smiles. Sophia and her innocence. Audrey, who finally felt comfortable enough telling me her deep 5th grade coming of age secrets. Leo, who was just beginning to trust in me once more. I miss them. I miss them so much it hurts and I try not to think of it. So I won't talk about it anymore. I guess over all everything has improved and become more complicated. Still Canadian though, that's a major stress for me. But, I think I have figured out a way around it. I can get an F-1 visa, which is a student visa. Of course I'd have to take out loans to be able to go to school, and probably be in debt for the rest of my life, and after I'm done with school my visa is up and I cannot switch visas to something more permanent. So, it would just be delaying the process of going back to Canada. Which, at this point, I don't mind too much. Who knows where I'll be in four years. Four years ago I definitely didn't think I'd be back in treatment for a second time. Nor did I think I'd be alive at 20. At 16 I thought by time I was 18 I'd be dead. And "If I make it to twenty I'll have dentures" which didn't exactly happen. So yeah, maybe things have improved. I don't have much to complain about right now. Well, I have tons to complain about, I'm just choosing not to, because I'm not so sure how that'd serve me at this point. Wallowing in my own self pity doesn't help much anymore. I realize I need to get up, and move forward. I need to take action. It is my life and I do want it to be better then it has been. Ive recently reconnected with an old friend. I'm extremely grateful for her, as she has been there through the most depressive points in my life, and still has stuck by. She is family, and I love her dearly. Talking to her more recently I've realized how much I have changed, although I feel as though I haven't. We used to be a little group, me, her, my ex who is her step brother, her best friend, and her boyfriend who is now her husband. We used to do everything together. Before I had initially started treatment I lived with her because, well, my parents kicked me out. She had taken me in and for about two months we were this happy little family, until my suicide attempt. Which I regret so terribly and hate myself for putting them all through. When I was 18 I had an episode where I slit my wrists and hoped to die. Instead, my ex came into the bathroom where I was attempting to do so, and then a few minutes later, the rest of everyone. They rushed me to the ER and I was admitted to the psych hospital about twelve hours later, where I had never felt so alone. I spent five days in the hospital and then went to reasons inpatient for my ed because like my friend had said "be honest about your eating disorder". They had stayed with me while I was in the ER and the entire time she had been saying to be honest. And honestly if I didn't listen to her I probably never would have gone to treatment. So ash, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you so much for everything you've ever done for me. I love you and you're a huge part of why I ever decided to change and learn to live. My parents always told me growing up that friends never last and family is forever. I'm upset, I'm hurt, I'm angry. Where the fuck are my parents now? If family is forever where are they? All I have is friends at this point. Which, again, I am so insanely grateful for. I don't know what I would be doing with out any of you. The people I choose to surround myself around are the people who actually stick around. Who knew, if you surround yourself by good people, good things happen. In my relapse this last time around, someone had asked me why I was killing myself over making my parents happy. At that time I wasn't exactly too sure what they meant and why they would say something like that. I was upset and hurt by it. But looking back just three months I completely understand that statement. Unfortunately, if I want to recover and live my life, I have to be separated from my parents. I love them so much. I love them to the moon and back. I have so much respect for them and would never do anything to hurt them. I think they are amazing people, but right now as it stands I have to love them from afar. And I'm coming to a place of acceptance with this. I think this is manageable at the point. As far as my visa goes, I've decided to get my F1. A student visa. I'll take out a loan and pay for school. I'll probably be in debt for the rest of my life but at this point, I do not care. All I'm doing is going to school for cosmetology and honestly, that's not that much money. So I need to finish high school. Which is on my list of things to do. This week I'm going to figure out how/where to go to get my transcripts. Or if I'm just going to take my GED. Also this week I'm going to meet up with a friend on Sunday and see if I can get a job anywhere. I'm excited honestly things feel like they're moving forward finally. And that's because of me. Because I finally decided to stop crying and wallowing in my self pity and actually get up and do something. The good news is, everyone else's voice is out of my head. I'm a lot more clear on what to do and how to do it.