#shenrihn

[xivu-arath]

got some incredible portraits of some of my favourite ocs done by @spindlewit!! I literally gasped when I saw each one

[joalenko]

here’s shenrihn for @numinousbones, thank u so much for commissioning me again and for being so patient! i had a lot of fun drawing them 💖💖

(shen uses they/them pronouns)

[ravenswood]

shenrihn can't stand clubs or cantinas, but they love almost all kinds of music, and love to find new styles and genres to listen to. they often use their favourite songs to help calm them down or to help with meditation

SHENRIHN......

they might get along with talia tbh! she plays the acoustic guitar in her casual spare time, which is a callback to the fact that i? randomly had her in a band in her very first incarnation?? this never popped up again but yeah that was a thing i guess. she mostly just likes to musically doodle with it and has a natural ear for music, but she could be persuaded to play a few of the actual songs she knows, particularly if adrienne is the one asking for it.

[thefoodwiththedood]

so my two main star wars ocs are both from swtor - rkorya, a zabrak sith warrior who was raised in the empire and is driven as much by overwhelming loyalty as rage, and shenrihn, a slave from the infinite empire who was found in stasis on belsavis by the republic. they wind up becoming a jedi eventually, but struggle with recovering from their past and the jedi order's suspicion of former darksiders.

Ooooh, they sound cool!! I do love lightsaber-toting Zabraks, so Rkorya sounds especially awesome :D

[xivu-arath]

Tell me about your Star Wars OCs?

this is a tall order... watch me forget someone

mains

rkorya, sith warrior - proud, self-assured, bloodthirsty and far more loyal than she is ambitious, she's extremely powerful and a talented warrior, but lacks fine control in the force due to her training being deliberately sabotaged. she was her family's only hope to maintain their precarious status as minor nobility, and succeeded in this role... and just happened to be isolated, pressured, and used as a pawn for nearly every step of the way. despite that, she's endured and survived and made herself too implacable to really be challenged. she loves the empire (and what she thinks it can become) and is blind to all the damage it's done to her, but she's also someone all the darths have to step very lightly around. My Favourite, has the bulk of my fic and several adjacent timelines of what happens with her (in one she sacrifices herself and becomes a sword ghost slowly moving through history)

shenrihn, jedi knight - quiet, distant and superficially calm - but judgmental, fiercely aggressive in battle, and driven by fear and resentment, they're rather infamous as a jedi for having emerged from the prison planet of belsavis, where they had been in stasis for 20,000 years. once a slave of the infinite empire of the rakata, they navigated the stars and found life-rich planets for conquest, but were put into stasis for study when the rakata's force sensitivity began to wane. the jedi order took custody of them after their discovery, and they eventually became a padawan... but finding the peace promised to them proved very difficult. their story is in limbo after finishing the class story because they would rather avoid all plot forever, but I'm cultivating a very mean au where they end up in the sith inquisitor story instead

significant ocs

vitnako, twi'lek smuggler - witty, laidback, radiates Just A Guy energy, but has a ruthless streak when cornered. an expert on reinventing himself and cutting and running due to a tough past on hutta and being the only one who managed to get out of there. only loosely connected to the class story because it's either sexist or ridiculous, but he's out there dodging the law and having a good time

netethei, chiss agent - Officially The Worst. cheerful, amiable and easily entertained, she's difficult to read due to how genuine her amusement is - but it can easily come at the cost of those around her. she was recruited by the empire after selling a diplomat's scandals and secrets out, and she's currently keeping herself from stepping out of line... but all of her fellow agents hate her anyways

meyrikh, pureblood sith apprentice - secretive, jealous, an insecure mess. child of a family found to be plotting treason, she and her older siblings were sold into slavery, and all of the adults killed. she eventually managed to become an apprentice, but any advantage her lineage might have granted her is outweighed by how uncomfortable her existence makes every traditional sith. her sole talent is in going unseen, but still not as often as she would like. kept in limbo because I want to think of a good master for her still

tashram, togruta sith lord - weary, vengeful, bitter, and stubborn. an attempt on her life by an upstart rival has her crash onto an agrarian planet in the middle of nowhere. laying low slowly turns to actually making a life for herself here rather than risk returning to sith politics. has an extremely wip fic project about how she becomes a farmer, and the connections she makes

the twi'lek pirate crew - barely represented on my blog, but a collection of twi'leks (and one zabrak) created by one of my friends handing me a bunch of adoptables. I don't have much of substance on them but I think they're cool

characters in name only

kymet, mirialan trooper - a republic trooper for the class story

chotal, miraluka jedi consular - a consular for the class story! I actually really enjoy the story but cannot think of a good oc for it yet so here we are

yskra, rattataki bounty hunter - an oc I made in tandem with a friend, but he's not playing currently so she's in limbo. a survivor of rattatak's fighting arenas, trying to make a future through bounty hunting with her partner

[xivu-arath]

do Tol Barga

shenrihn's opinion on tol braga is... complicated!!they honestly really respected him. he is so steadfast and undaunted (and yes, proud) that he felt very much like a reassuring, anchoring point for much of their time as a new jedi. notably he didn't scorn or doubt them for coming to the order as a user of the dark side. rather, he welcomed and supported them, even arguing their case to be brought into the order, and as someone who always felt unsure if they'd ever be good enough... that was extremely meaningful. tol braga seemed to believe more in shen than they were capable of doing so themselves

but that belief blinded him, too. he was so confident and self-righteous about his great victories over sith lords and even a member of the dark council that he ignored every warning sign that confronting the emperor wouldn't go so smoothly. shenrihn's own doubts were swept aside, and they trusted him over their fears and misgivings, to disastrous effect

they resent him now, of course. being the sole reason they went through one of their worst experiences since the infinite empire will do that!

but it's a complicated resentment - not for being so confident, because that confidence had been so reassuring. maybe if they had grown up trained in the light and had as many uncomplicated victories, they would have that same undaunted faith in their efforts. but not having the strength to back it up? not being able to keep all of the strike force from falling under the emperor's thrall? that they do blame him for. and most galling, they hate that he was so broken by his failure

for someone they respected so much to actually be so brittle! to have never experienced being utterly beaten and broken down before, and to lack the strength to keep going... it's a well of bitter rage and loathing in them, to see him undone through something they endured and survived

it really shook their respect and faith in the order as a result, But It's Fine

[xivu-arath]

🖊 + any two ocs

going to answer this for my swtor mains, rkorya and shenrihn, who I ended up sort of treating as a parallel/contrast set even though I made them at different times with very different approaches

rkorya was pretty much just an indulgent character to act out through bioware cutscenes at first, and got depth later, while I had most of my ideas for shenrihn at the time I made them. but they do still share a lot of overlap! they're both zabraks, they have a lot of personal meaning loaded into their tattoos, they both have a lot of depersonalizing/weaponizing themes going on - and perhaps most fun for me is that they end up serving the exact same roles to vitiate, the former sith emperor. both rkorya and shenrihn act as his tools and enforcers (albeit shen rather briefly), and both temporarily kill one of his many bodies... and eventually in one of the several different verses/endings I have in mind, they do work together to extinguish vitiate utterly in a super dramatic ritual

one fic I want to write at some point is a collection of moments where they almost met, because their paths came so close! so often! and then the extremely accidental time on yavin iv when shen finally decides to change their tattoos and the empire's wrath is kind of already getting hers done at the same place. whoops

[xivu-arath]

4 and 19 for Omen and Shen?

omen-5

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

the dark age my beloved!!! the fact xe was rezzed very early on during that time informs xyr focus on xyr Purpose as a risen because the collapse was such a fresh wound. xyr attitude towards violence and to other people, and xyr difficulties in communicating or asking for help, also stem from this. xe was very used to mostly fighting and killing people when encountering them! omen's first and only solution to problems was Disintegrate (and if disintegration fails, rip apart with bare hands) for a very long time. communication and collaboration and trusting people to not shoot first took a very long time to get used to

it's still omen's internal standard of reference, and it distorts a lot of xyr current thinking and mindset.

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

omen's main use of solar is to warm up xyr body just a little and make a good basking spot for animals

shenrihn

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

being raised in the infinite empire is the Big Thing. they grew up with no knowledge of anything but the dark side of the force. they only lived as a literal tool of further conquest, and had to consider themselves fortunate for that much. the rakata controlled every aspect of their existence, and even in their current life as a jedi the echoes and scars remain. it's why shenrihn is so desperate to be a good jedi, to find peace and stability in the force. it's also why they're aggressive and insecure and feel constantly adrift in a galaxy that has so easily forgotten everything that has shaped them

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?

they're often a petty little shit. a favoured tactic of theirs is complaining about or insulting whatever tiresome official or republic duty they're presented with in ancient rakatan, and playing it off as an old proverb. no one ever programs their translators for that (((:

[xivu-arath]

talking about gender

“Can I ask you about something?” Kira asks as they carry supplies back into the hangar, T7 rolling ahead of them impatiently. “Something uh – personal.”

Shenrihn tries for a moment, to guess in advance what she could possibly want to ask about – she already knows about their background, the Rakata – but Kira has proven to be far more imaginative than they could ever be. Maybe one day, she’ll actually stop surprising them. “...Go ahead, Kira.”

“How did you... you know, know? – Thanks, T7,” she adds as he unlocks the cargo hold for them, getting a cheerful beep in reply. “That you weren’t... a guy? It’s just that from what you’ve said, I didn’t think the Infinite Empire would be a good place to figure out that kind of stuff. Or a good place at all.”

“Well, it wasn’t,” they answer as she snorts, the task of setting down everything they’ve been carrying giving them a moment to collect their thoughts. “In the Empire, there was always... what the Rakata thought, and what everyone else thought when away from them. The only genders that mattered were those of other Rakata. On my own, or with the other slaves, I could decide I wasn’t he, but otherwise... I was whatever the Rakata said I was. Some just called all of us ‘it’.”

“Oh. Ugh. That’s – that’s awful. I’m sorry.”

They shrug. “We were tools to them. You don’t... wonder what your blaster wants to be called, or your lightsaber.”

“You just use it,” she finishes, eyes narrowed. “With an attitude like that, I’m glad they’re all dead and gone.” Then, a little more tentatively, “You don’t talk about any others all that much. You weren’t the only Force Hound left, right?”

“There isn’t much to say. We were raised in large groups. We talked, sometimes. We fought often. Growing up with them helped with – with learning what I was. Who I was, when I wasn’t needed. But then we were trained, and died, or were sent away, or made to fight each other.” They only realize they might have said too much when they look up, and see something distant and pained in her expression. “...Kira?”

“It’s funny – we even grew up alike,” she says. While she’s said little about her flight from Imperial space, she’s said even less about her time on Korriban. Shenrihn knows enough to not ask about it lightly. “But I’m almost impressed. You figured out part of yourself when you had big-headed freaks treating you like furniture all the time. That really is something.”

“Thank you,” Shenrihn murmurs, more grateful than they know how to express. They don’t think most Jedi Masters could almost impress her. Then a thought strikes them and they tilt their head. It’s easier to consider this than drown in gratitude, but only just. “Are you... wondering? About things like that?”

“What – oh. No! No, I was just... curious. I felt we’d been through enough near-death experiences that I could pry a little. I’m... glad it’s not a big deal, that I asked.”

“It isn’t,” they say, relieved. Trying to broach how to explain gender to someone else is surely beyond their limited capability. “I... don’t mind discussing it.”

“Well, good. Now that you’ve said that, I’m going to pester you about it all the time.” A few months ago, they would have been alarmed, but by now it’s easy to recognize the joke. “Anyways, that’s enough talking for now – if we take much longer to leave, we’ll get General Var Suthra on the holo, trying to give us directions.”

“...Right. Let’s go.”

[xivu-arath]

screenshotting myself from discord because I think I'm funny

[xivu-arath]

(late repostober! I was Busy yesterday)

The path Shenrihn takes hurtles them towards the Sith Emperor (because of duty, because Tol Braga's resolve warms them like the sun, because surely if they do this they can find peace) and they find themselves facing a darkness as monstrous as the Rakata, just as hungry, far too soon. Peace proves all too fragile.

Shenrihn does their best to keep busy as they jump into hyperspace, checking on supplies and letting T7 guide them in errands and bits of maintenance until they run out of work. They’re tempted to try to reach into the Force to map their course, or at least find their destination, but there is a chance that someone would sense it.

No, not someone – that their quarry would sense it, and them. Not even another Force Hound could tell what they were doing or who they were, not at that distance, but the Emperor is... different. Less a user of the Force and more some dark star that has warped the space around him, so entire systems crumble away in orbit.

They still do not think this will work. It’s a terrible admission – they must have faith in Master Tol Braga, and in the Force as it carries them, but the doubt and fear rises up no matter how many times they stifle it. They only glimpsed his power when he channelled himself through Kira, and imagining that cold darkness being tempered somehow, dimming and leaving any kind of space for light seems impossible.

At the very least, Shenrihn knows they can’t bear to voice those fears. The last thing this mission needs is a distraction, or for their concerns to spread to the others. They are more experienced Jedi, confident and well rooted, and Tol Braga shines in the Force. So they do this, or they die.

Those are familiar enough stakes.

[xivu-arath]

One prisoner of the Infinite Empire awakens on Belsavis, and another stirs below the sands of Tatooine. Like a comet pulled into orbit, they are drawn to meet. Shenrihn gets a chance to confront a spectre of their past, even if it means risking their future.

The data relay turns itself off, and Shenrihn tries not to feel. The wind on Tatooine is constant, and makes the sand hiss over the dunes. They listen to it, desperate to think about something that is not the recording, not that scientist dismissively mentioning the empire that took and moulded their entire life.

“They... could be wrong, you know,” Kira says, but there’s no certainty to her words. It’s a platitude, and Shenrihn appreciates the thought. “I mean, it’s Czerka. They pretty obviously didn’t know what they were doing. It could be a... Gree thing, or someone else entirely.”

It would be a nice lie to believe in for just a little while longer, but Shenrihn suspected from the moment the recordings dated the relics. It has been fear that drove them onward, trekking through the sands to the next relay. They should wait, calm themselves down, recite and remember the Jedi Code, but it is so hard to remind themselves of distance and serenity when the Rakata are involved. All their progress and growth vanishes and they are the same as always – wounded and afraid.

“Maybe,” they say, hearing their own voice as if from afar.

[xivu-arath]

meeting kira

“Hey, can we talk for a second?” Kira asks, falling in step just a little behind them. Shenrihn glances at her, uncertain. The spaceport isn’t far, and delaying for a few moments likely won’t make much of a difference with their current objective.

They would rather not admit it, but taking a moment to do something apart from chase down thieves and gangsters and Sith is all too tempting. Running around Coruscant is exhausting, especially with the looming fear of what might happen if they slow down or let themselves be distracted while Master Orgus and Kiwiks are both risking their own lives.

Now, they can breathe. Not for long, but a few minutes won’t hurt anyone.

“Of course. What is it?”

“You really don’t like being stuck with me, do you?” she says with no warning, and halts so they have to turn and stop as well to face her. Shenrihn frowns, searching for any hint of some kind of taunt or trick, but all the Force offers is rippling light and bright conviction. She is decidedly serious.

“What? Why say that?” they ask, dazed by how sure she seems of it. They review their memories of the few conversations they’ve had since Tython and find no evidence of insulting her, but that doesn’t mean they hadn’t.

“Oh, I don’t know... maybe the fact that you’ve barely said a word to me since you got on Coruscant. Believe me, I’d rather be with my master than trying to handle things on our own too, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore each other.”

“But we’ve spoken,” they protest, feeling as if they’ve somehow switched back to Rakatan without realizing it. “We’ve fought together. If I’ve insulted, it was not my intent but I don’t know you – not enough to like, or dislike, or anything.”

Things do seem so much simpler when they’re on their own. How did they get a droid and another padawan tagging along with them?

Kira looks at them for a moment more, and Shenrihn feels the careful flicker of her reaching out to them in the Force and then she claps her hands to her face. “Oh, kriff it, you’re shy. I didn’t even think of that. Ugh, look, I’m sorry – Master Kiwiks always says my tongue is about ten parsecs ahead of my brain.” They nod uncertainly, which seems to be all the input needed. “I was so sure you were full of yourself since all the Temple gossip was just about how great you were now that you’d come back from Ilum.”

They wince, remembering what the gossip on Tython had been like before they’d left for Ilum in the first place. “It was so kind only because I could be of use now,” they tell her, calming themselves before any of that old, bitter rage could surface. “The Jedi were much harsher on me when I first became a padawan.”

“Shows what I know,” she says, taking the correction in stride with enviable ease. “I got to the Temple after you left, so all I heard were Masters muttering about how bad it was to have to take two older padawans at once. I guess I believed more of it than I should have.” She shrugs her mistake away and offers an outstretched hand, while Shenrihn tries not to shy away from the thought of taking it. Jedi should not be afraid of contact, but then, they are not quite Jedi yet. “Let’s... start over then. Kira Carsen, Jedi padawan to Master Kiwiks.”

Their own hands clench, the tattoos thankfully covered. “Shenrihn, Jedi padawan to Master Orgus Din,” they say, and are relieved when she drops her hand without even a flicker of annoyance. “...It’s nice to meet you.”

“Same here. But I guess we should get moving – the galaxy isn’t going to save itself, right?”

The galaxy, they hope, can look to someone else to save it, but they follow her towards the spaceport anyways.

[xivu-arath]

shen and doc

this was going to be about how shenrihn draws from their physical reserves to fuel their abilities and how they should stop doing that but! I never finished it

“You’ve lost weight,” Doc says, looking up from his datapad as the scan completes. “Again.” It’s still strange to have anyone involved in their health – let alone willingly – but for all Shenrihn’s initial misgivings about Doc, he is a good doctor. His half-insulting humour and easy mockery might grate on them normally, but here it makes them feel like they’re just another patient of his, someone he’s obliged to check on.

The distance is important. They’re not sure why they shy away from the thought of him personally taking an interest in them, but there’s enough to think about already without searching for a reason.

“We’ve been in battle recently,” they remind him. “And things have been...” They stumble, thinking of Tol Braga’s plan, the impossible weight of the looming mission. “Busy.”

“I’ll give you that one – we never do visit anywhere quiet.”

[xivu-arath]

emperor's child reveal

(this will probably be the last one for today. there's. still a lot more. I wrote a lot of swtor stuff,,,)

“You can lock me up in my quarters, if you want,” Kira offers, arms crossed and not meeting their gaze. “Just until... we get to Tython. I know it might be weird, otherwise.”

Shenrihn tries to control their expression before she takes their disgust to be meant for her, and not the idea of locking someone they like – someone, despite their best efforts, that they trust – up like a prisoner.

“It’s fine, Kira,” they say, trying to stave off any kind of actual choice.

“It’s not fine! We’ve been fighting our way through Sith for over a month, and now you know that I am – was – a Sith myself! At least, you shouldn’t just go back to trusting me like nothing’s happened.”

They can’t tell her that’s what they would like to do, that it doesn’t matter since it was in the past. They know all too well how heavily the past can still weigh even when it should have long since been buried. But talking isn’t one of their strengths, especially when they can feel Kira’s resolve wavering, her outburst tinged with shame and regret. They don’t want her to hurt, but have no idea how to navigate from here to there. Perhaps her suffering right now is just inevitable, and they doubt the Jedi Council will be any more lenient with her than they were when they were brought in from Belsavis.

Still. They should say something.

“I don’t trust you less now than before,” they say tentatively. “I do not know much about the Sith.” Not much, except the flare of their lightsabers and the familiar feeling of lightning crawling over their skin, the rage they brought to bear in those moments before they died. Like the Rakata, and also wholly not. It’s fortunate that someone trying to kill them keeps Shenrihn from having to puzzle out how to feel about it. “But I know the dark side. I am the last person in the galaxy to... to hate you, or think you dangerous, just because of what you were trained to use in the past.”

“And why is that? Do you just have a soft spot for me?”

They hesitate. What if she turns that same doubt and expectation of blame on them, as well?

“It’s because I am very much like you.”

She raises her eyebrows critically, and Shenrihn fights the urge to hunch their shoulders and look away. “You were never anywhere near a Sith until Coruscant.”

“I was not trained by Sith. But I was raised to use the dark side, and I had... no choice. Only I did not have a chance to run away somehow... or maybe I did, but was too afraid to see it.” Their accent grows thicker – it always does, when they’re emotional – and they pick their words carefully in response. “To escape, and become a padawan, and always have this secret... it is very brave, I think.”

She stares at them, and they slowly realize that she’s speechless – a first, in their experience. “Well... wow. I... uh, thanks. I don’t think anyone’s said that to me, before.” She reaches out, and then quickly remembers and draws back her hand, much to their relief. “It... means a lot. Though I bet the two of us are going to make the Council pretty mad – not just one darksider turned to the light but two. Doubt they’re going to let us out of their sight now.”

Their hearts sink, just a little, at the reminder. It had taken over a year to earn the privilege of becoming a padawan in the first place, and while Tython and the temple were beautiful, Shenrihn had stayed within their confines long enough a first time.

“You have given them no reason to doubt you,” they say, wishing they sounded firmer about it. “The Council will see reason.” Privately, they hope that they can’t afford not to.

[xivu-arath]

set during shadow of revan

“What are you doing?” the Wrath asks, head tilted towards them even as she checks over her layers of armour. Her actions are brisk and efficient, and she handles her gear with the ease of long practice, as if she’s not in the company of someone who should have been a threat, an enemy. If not for the way the air is pulled taut between them, they could almost believe it.

Shenrihn is still not sure what to make of... any of this. For all the Sith they have fought, there seem to be just as many who defy what they have come to expect. Lana, for one, and Lord Praven, or Scourge. And now the Wrath, who reeks of violence held in check by the barest of threads.

By all rights, neither of them should be here, but the galaxy has been turned upside down often enough in the last few months that should no longer has much weight.

“Searching,” they say, trying to divert their attention between the planets they’re sifting through, and their present company. It keeps them too occupied to scratch at their face or arms, at least. “They’re far, but I can sense Tython. Ilum.” She blinks, and the unspoken question surfaces clearly, after spending most of their time reading shifts of mood from other Jedi. She might as well be shouting her feelings, so direct that it would be amusing if her power didn’t fill the air around them. “I... think fondly of Ilum. I like to find it, when things are... complicated. I did much of my training there.”

“I’ve been to Ilum,” she says idly, rolling her shoulders. “It is certainly beautiful, but far too cold.” “Can you sense Korriban?”

(something about new year, korriban’s spring)

“You love it,” they say, too surprised to temper their words or tone until it’s far too late.