#shinji translated this for me because I dont feel good

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[iantimony]

tuesday!

hello tuesday :) i'm going to start crossposting these onto my dreamwidth also just so i have a non-tumblr log of my weekly updates. please friend me on dreamwidth i would love an excuse to move platforms more

listening: OH i listened to SO much this week. i tuned in to my spotify release radar thing and it was a great idea to get exposed to some new music from artists i already know i like! i also peeped the discover weekly one a bit

i haven't listened to the newest paramore album in full but 'running out of time' was on the release radar playlist and i really really like the sounds! it feels very st vincent-y to me in a way that i wasn't expecting from paramore so i wonder if that was a conscious influence at all? or if they were both separately influenced by the same sources? it's really good though. i dont remember following shakey graves but they also rule i've been jamming to the whole album 'deadstock' which i think is just a collection of some of their more popular tracks? plus some live recordings. and tom rosenthal makes me cry still

from discover:

and then i found memi through...instagram reels i think? instagram has unfortunately nailed the type of music they should serve me to get clicks so i do. keep clicking them. anyways i love her

reading: quantum :V

oh wait actually i do have reading this week! i re-opened the slowly app (i downloaded it years ago but stopped using it at some point), which is a real-time penpal app - you can send letters to random people in the world, and it will send in "real time" as if you were actually mailing a letter! so i opened it and the app went oh? you're active? cool! and i started getting letters! so i got one from a guy in morocco, which i replied to right away, and also one in mandarin which i have NOT replied to right away because i had to spend like an hour translating it rip. out of five i put my mandarin proficiency at a 2 on my profile but honestly that may be too high oops. ah well. it'll be cool to try and get my mandarin back up to snuff! it'll also be a great way to learn things like idioms and other stuff that doesn't show up as often in traditional learning materials.

for example, phrase that i learned is 畅所欲言, chang4 suo3 yu4 yan4, which is a standard four-character idiom that means to speak without inhibitions or to just frankly speak your mind. i have like a full two pages of new words and phrases that i had to look up to read the letter which is awesome!

the letter from morocco was very cool and like...poetry adjacent? which im not sure if it's just because of a translation quirk - he said his english isn't the best - but i dunno. "I am writing to you because writing is a companion of the tired". anyways.

watching: i started watching evangelion with my partner!! we did ... i think about five episodes last week? it owns. this is the first time in a really long time that i've, like...gone blind into a media? my only exposure to eva has been through out-of-context memes (shinji get in the robot) and i feel like a lot of the time with TV shows i tend to read the wikipedia page before watching to see if it's really worth it :") i've never really cared about spoilers or whatever because honestly if it's a good enough show it won't really matter if i know what's going to happen or not, it's more about How it happens and how it's shot/framed/acted/etc. but i have zero context for eva and im very much enjoying it! i wasn't expecting the body horror at all it rules

making: making good progress on my embroidery project! this photo is from about two weeks ago but it's the most recent one i have and honestly haven't done THAT much more. i just finished filling that vertical headphone cord in with red, started some other headphone cord...after that all i have left is the letters (rip) and then doing maybe some sort of sashiko stitch/cross hatching as fill for the hair? like some spaced out x patterns in a grid or something like that. because i'm sure as shit not doing a satin or brick stitch to fill all that in and i think it'll still look good that way.

im also finishing up valentines gifts to mail to people :3

misc: hgg. quantum midterm on march 2. it is Rapidly approaching and im very nervous about it but in a VERY different way - this semester he's having the exams be open note and open book, which could be really good or really really bad. on the plus side i dont have to drive myself insane memorizing equations on flash cards again, most of my studying will probably be uber-familiarizing myself with the layout of the notes so i know where to reference things and also copying out things from online that might be relevant. on the minus side it means i have really no clue on how hard this exam will be. pain.

research is going. i feel like im sooo close to getting shit to work. however i am also experiencing research fomo because a prof that i didnt even know existed gave a presentation on her group for potential new students and i went wait wow that fucks. sigh. i think that's all for this week gang, gonna crosspost to dreamwidth after lunch!

[maicamochichan]

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say thanks so much for following me and enjoying my posts! I know I haven't posted anything for a while but that's because school started and I'm super busy. But I'll try to post again soon! Let's study hard and learn more together!

フォロワーのみなさん！フォローしていただきありがとうございます！

しばらくの間投稿できなくてごめんなさい。学校が始まり投稿する時間がありませんでした。

でも、またすぐに投稿を再開します！一緒に楽しく勉強しましょう！

[nijiue-iroha]

random kokoro mistume hcs

a/n: part two of the grand series. the next character will probably be hajime or shinji,,,, but i dont really have a lot for them yet. i’ll brainstorm today

her tablet is her comfort object do i really gotta say it

on the topic of her tablet, it’s very advanced(and customised) thanks to her own knowledge, ability to explain what she desires, and mikado’s tech skills.

yes, that IS my excuse to let her tablet do little happy faces whenever she charges it. or little snoozing faces whenever she turns it off at night. it’s good for people, however, since it feels as though they’re more appreciated. and, come on, that would be the cutest thing.

she has a fondness for chickens?? like she thinks eggs are bland but she really likes chickens. i dont blame her feathers have a nice texture

she’s pescatarian! this is mostly because kokoro just doesn’t really like the taste of most meat. sushi is an exception.

speaking of taste buds, she likes more hollow flavours. not really a big “warm food” person, she likes stuff cold.

despite being very aware of when sarcasm is used by others, kokoro tends to make sarcastic or even condescending remarks completely by accident. she doesn’t have bad intentions, she’s just very blunt about what she thinks.

her glasses are either so foggy that she can’t see through them, or clean to the point where there isn’t a speck of dust on them. there is no in between.

she falls asleep wearing her glasses a lot of the time. thankfully, she also tends to not move at all when she sleeps(to which many are concerned) so, it’s not too bad. probably.

she’s really into the specific genre of games that have rich stories and characters that are meant to be heavily speculated on and not exactly clear to the player. think INMOST and hollow knight. maybe even oneshot or dead cells.

do i really need to say how much she likes asmr that has lore behind it.... alien asmr??? witch asmr??? she gets super into that

despite loving deep and intricate fantasy worlds, she’s not into writing or making stories of her own, really. making up a world like the percy jackson realm is just one that she’s not... creative, i guess, enough to do. however, in the technical aspect, she is a good writer. if someone gave her an idea she could translate it onto paper with relative ease.

her favourite aesthetic is lovecore but specifically the dark red/dark pink kind dont come at me

whenever she’s in the mood, or close enough to someone, kokoro can give really good compliments. she can know exactly what someone wants to hear, and if she senses someone having a bad day, it’s very easy to cheer them up(if she wants to).

the opposite is also true, of course. she’s the queen of flaming people.

lastly, she sits strangely in strange places, as gays do. she’s the type to lay on a railing or sit on the top part of a couch. everyone either hates it or does the exact same thing, or both. syobai is the former, though. all of his poor couches... and their cushions were squished by kokoro just because she felt like it. mikado makes a big deal about it.

but that’s a story for another time.