#shitpost about aemond

[vhagarswar]

''The same thing we try everynight.''

Gee mate what you want to do tonight?

the same thing we try to do every night, pinky.

Trying to take over the world!!!!

Pinky and the brain

yes pinky and the brain

The one is a genius

The other's insane

They're laboratory mice

Their genes have been spliced

they're pinky

they're pinky

and the brain

brain brain brain brain!

THE END

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Aegon:

Aemond:

[numiolaes]

real footage of what woulda happened if aemond hadn't turned back:

[kaisserin]

Sorry for shitposting about alysmond but i cannot help! Just imagine them from Daemon perspective. He remembers Alys as a strange girl, a witch and he remembers that he warned her about the danger from Aemond. He knows that Aemond destroyed the Riverlands and he thinks that Aemond killed Alys AND IN THIS MOMENT AEMOND DROPS THIS BANGER

Daemon will be like: my lady??? my Alys???

[just-some-random-blogger]

idc idc here are my reactions to the new trailerssssss via (really long) shitpost RAAHHHHHHHH

*also i took the liberty and tagged some people in some parts lmao*

starting with the black trailer cos duhh i wanna see daemon lmao

starting off strong w caraxes (this is caraxes right?? 😭😭😭) honestly he ate that up. he like me fr. him screaming is how i reacted to his dad 😋

this shot is stunning. looking into the fire. the ominous sounds. (side note the fucking audio dialogue crunch wtf was that editing hbo??? the noise that harshly faded after she spoke ???????? AHHAHAH i can't blame you my audio be like that too)

HAHAHHAAAH HIS LIL SPIN HAS ME GAGGED HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HES SUCH A LIL BOY @azperja UR BOY IS WILDING HAHHAAHAHAH LMAOOOOOOOO

im a simple girl i see daemon i screech @em-writes-stuff-sometimes ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IS THIS CREGAN STARK ASFLJKHASFLKHASFLHASFH👹👹👹👹 NEXT TO BABY GIRL JACAERYS STRONG LOOK AT HIS BABY GIRL LIPS IDK @valeskafics THIS LOOKS LIKE IT CAME OUT ONE OF YOUR FICS?????? AM I ABOUT TO MAKE A JACE FIC????? HELPPPP

gWAYNEEE?????? HIGHTOWER????????????? RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH WITH HIS SLUTTY LIL BUSTED LIP?????????????? why are you in the blacks trailer tho?????????? who did you fuck up??? who fucked you up???????? omG IF YOU AND DADDY DAEMON FIGHT 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦

CUNT-C-CUNT-C-CUNT-CUNT. he is swag. he is emo. he is killing all the aemond girlies. @ewanmitchellcrumbs i have nothing to say to you other than hi how ya doin

and im a very simple girl 😋😋😋😋

i dont like the mourning girls ))): LEAVE MY GIRLS ALONE ☹

i would bend the knee to you daddy REEEEEEEEEEEEEE @em-writes-stuff-sometimes SHOULDER SHOT IN LIEU OF A CROTCH SHOT??????????????????

her dialogue 😫😫😫 ate. as it remains rhaenys is the only one with the braincell in this psycho barbie house and we love her for that

CUNT-C-CUNT-C-CUNT-CUNT. SHE SERVED SO HARD FUCKKKKK

now the green trailer

MY SAD GIRL LEAVE HER ALONE. congrats on having (one of) your oppressor(s) die tho (: it must be mentally tolling ):

[in response to alicent's dialogue] ok but you also knew viserys was delulu to the core????? he did the whole horse analogy to defend rhaenyra which was INSANE. 😔 its kinda sad you believe that in his dying breath he wanted to reconcile with you but even then he didnt give a fuck 💔💔💔💔💔 sorry alicent

ok but .... 👀👀👀👀👀👀 otto lookin kinda scruptious !!! @ewanmitchellcrumbs WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??!?!?! tbh no regrets 😋😋 more food for me

I KNOW I ALREADY REACTED TO THIS BUT HAHAHAHAHA ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY HES SO UNSERIOUS WITH THE TWIRL. AND THE CAPTION IS PERFECT WAHAHAH VISERYS ROLLIN IN HIS GRAVE TO KNOW THIS IDIOT SUCEEDED HIM AND HONESTLY AEGON ATE WITH THAT. THE ULTIMATE REVENGE 😫😫😫 SERVE KING GIVE US NOTHING AND GIVE US CUNT ALL AT ONCE HAHAHHAHA @azperja AHHAH WALA LANG TAG LANG KITA ULIT HAHHAH

@em-writes-stuff-sometimes no but the SHOULDER SHOT IM BEING SO SERIOUS RN ITS SOOO RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

hes salty because daemon and him are fighting again 😔💔 ASLKFHASF NO BUT WHY HE LOOK SO MAD???🤨🤨 HAHAHHAHHAH (ok fine fine hes mad because theyre about to go to war. id be mad too)

I DONT KNOW im taking a wild guess here. . . is this alys? ........... ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? idk idk i dont know enough about asoiaf to be guessing tbh

hes so dramatic. arent you the same man that begged your younger brother to let you flee and be rid of this burden? smh. had the crowds screaming your name once and now you think ur a rockstar. its ok ur @azperja's rockstar 😋

this line has me gagged 😭😭🤣🤣 GO KING. GO FUCK UP YOUR FAM AND THE REST OF THE SEVEN REALMS AS CASUALTY. i cant take him seriously. i cant 💀💀💀 YOURE THE GUY THAT JERKED OFF BY THE WINDOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CRYINGGGGGGGGGGG and the fact this scene is directly followed by him showcasing his mommy issues 😔 poor pathetic meowmeow

STOPPP 💀💀💀💀✋✋✋✋✋ I CANT TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY EITHER. HE SAW DAEMON CHOP UP VAEMONDS HEAD AND HAS BEEN HORNY EVER SINCE.

oh wait fuck i forgot he killed lucerys 💀💀💀💀💀😬😬😬😬 asfhlashfhsafhasf wAIT HE KNOWS DAEMON IS COMING FOR HIM WAIT LASFHHASFHASFFASOHASF WAITTT IT JUST CLICKED HES SCARED FUCK FUCK FUCK

hes so fucking hot what the fuck @ewanmitchellcrumbs i get why you dedicated an entire blog for this man. felt. BUT WHY WAR? LEMME BRAID UR HAIR INSTEAD???????? STOBIT

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 STOP HURTING ALICENT WHAT THE FUCK STOP IT

IDK WHO SHE IS BUT SHE ATE. IS THAT A STAG I SEE ARE YOU A BARATHEON SLAYYYYYYY..... is she a she or is he a he i... i cant tell. either way v pretty v intrigued

?????????????????????????? WHY HE LOOK YASSIFIED IN THIS 💀💀💀 sOBBING

i HATE the fact they cut his hair. cole is now 10x more unbearable what the fuck. JUSTICE FOR FABIEN he had such pretty hair

❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ men that crave war are the scabs of society

HONESTLY HOW IS VHAGAR (this is vhagar right????) NOT RIPPING HER WINGS MORE WHEN SHE FLIES?????? THE HOLESSSSS ARE INSANEEEEEE

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 women

both of these trailers ending with their support for their preferred monarch is such a slay detail to add. THEY SHOULD RELEASE THE SHOW SOONER

[sapphire-writes]

You're going to live for the next thousand years -as the saying goes- because you updated JUST as i was thinking about you.

A couple of hours I saw this reaction image and I've just been vibrating with excitement to use it for this newest chapter.

Gworl.... Miss Jo....

I like Floris.. i like her a lot. The whole chapter gave me slight Euphoria season 1 vibes except much less toxic and with Floris giving some serious but much kinder and friendlier Maddie energy. I like her!

Also, that man needs to grovel more!! Oh, you spent a whole ass week checking your phone? Grow up Aemond, you'll never be a tumblr girlie checking on her mutuals notifications for their shitposting.

Helaena was a real one too. As far as what Aegon did to kid Aemond...ugh... Trashy, lame, boo, tomatoes.. you ruined a perfectly good kid you wet sock!

I liked that Floris got her apology, and i felt so bad for her. To be disrespected like that but see it as a compliment...oooh girl... My heart goes out to her.

Now i need you to know that the whole smut.. it was excellent... Rule of threes says the third time they indulge in their exhibitionism kink sth is going to happen! (they have no chill and im HERE FOR IT *screams in slut*)

But i also need to disclaim.. i may have an intense fear of heights and edges and Ferris wheels are particularly terrifying becuase they are slow, they build up the anticipation and the fear and let you stew in them. (I may have cried once before during a ride).

So my trashy brain kept thinking that throughout all the moaning and the *sounds* you would be able to hear the creaking of the rusty hinges and i just about died.

Last but not least

Feral cunt struck thirsty ass pussy needy Aemond is something VERY PERSONAL and also PRECIOUS, PLEASE!!!! 😩😩😩😩😩

if that man begs again or acts desperate and needy🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 i will throw my phone in the sea and watch it get swallowed by the waves

Dom! But bottom or Sub! But top Aemond is not a want actual it is a need.

This has been a PSA. Y'all are welcome.

Anyways! Great chapter as always can't wait for the gala shitshow (if dae shows up i wish baela decks him). I am now going to patiently wait for your readers to reblog the fic and post their own reaction images because istg this is the second wave of enjoyment i get everytime you or Rae update.

Bestie, first you need to know I live for your reactions- every time I post I literally giggle knowing I'll see you in my ask box soon 🤭 😘

I was totally channeling season 1 Euphoria with the carnival scene- I always knew the carnival was happening and at first, wasn't going to have Floris be a bestie, but I am such a girl's girl I simply could not make her mean!! GIRL POWER!!

Aemond begging. Let's talk about it.

IM OBSESSED AND HAVE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE THIS!! So glad you enjoyed it 😘

ilysm bestie, thanks for taking the time to always send me your thoughts, seriously you make my whole day!!

[sansaorgana]

Also, remember how we saw kid!Aemond almost saying that he feels sorry after Harwin Strong’s death? He almost said “I’m sorry for your loss” to Harwin’s bastard kids. I know he eventually didn’t but he had it in his heart to feel sorry for them; maybe he just lacked the courage (sometimes it takes bravery to be kind as well). Meanwhile, Lucerys never intended to even apologize for something he had done himself – taking Aemond’s eye.

[helaenasaegon]

Daemon: *cuts a man’s head in half in front of a room full of people*

Helaena: *horrified*

Aegon: *disgusted and at least mildly shocked*

Aemond: “Gods, I’ve never been so horny in my li-”

Aegon and Helaena:

[rosalinesurvived]

Need me a funky little hotd/teen wolf au. The Hightowers are an ancient hunter family while the Targaryens are werewolves. Alicent was childhood girl bestie companions with Rhaenyra who never told Ali she was a werewolf out of fear of driving her away. Alicent was married to Viserys as a peace offer by Otto, ultimately leading to a war. Gwayne and later Criston teach Ali how to be a hunter to kill her bitch husband…

[vhagarswar]

Daeron returns home shitpost.

Daeron:*returns to King's landing*

Daeron::)

Daeron that night: *asleep in his own rooms*

A door: *slammed*

Daeron: wtfff

Aegon, wearing his hobo cloak: Greetings brother.

Aemond, also wearing his cloak but his is is made of quality fabric: *silence*

Daeron; Hello. I- what is going on?

Aegon: It is time brother.

Aemond: *annoyed*

Daeron:??

Aegon:

Aemond:

Daeron:

Aegon: ask me what it's time for please I have other things to do unfortunately.

Daeron: Time for what?

Aegon: to get It wet.

Daeron; to get what wet?

Aegon: awh he's so innocent bless his innocent mind uwu adorable.

Aegon: *demonic voice* we must corrupt his soul

Aemonds mind; kittens and puppies. Meow.

Aegon: it's time to become a man

Daeron: you want me to kill someone?!

Aegon: what? No. Why do you both think of murder 24/7 what is up with that?!

Aemond: it's the traumas.

Daeron: we are at war

Aegon: fuck the damn war I wanna do something fun and hang out with my brothers!!!

Daeron: Fine. Lets go to a brothel I suppose.

Aemond:*as a big brother* ah he can't use the words whore house.

Aegon: we'll teach him soon enough.

The three of them; sneak out of the castle

Aegon: I can't believe we pulled that off

Daeron: security sucks here

Aemond; agreed.

A deep voice: You have all forsaken me. You have betrayed me. You will all perish

A cloaked figure:*approaches*

Aemond: gods is this..

Aegon: father?

Daeron: wait we have one?

The cloaked figure:*giggles*

The cloaked figure:*reveals herself*

Helaena: I heard you all sneak out. Why didn't you invite me with you? I love late night outings!:))

Aegon:

Aemond:

Daeron:

Helaena: where are we going? Is there food? I like night food. Did anyone bring coin?

Aemond; it is dangerous for you to be here

Helaena: what danger is there for me surrounded by my brother's and the fiercest warriors of the realm?

Aemond:*blushes*

Aegon: are the warriors with us right now?

Daeron: she means us

Aegon: o.

Helaena: so what do we have planned?

Daeron: they were planning to go to a bro-

Aemond: Brother! Our plans have altered last minute remember

Daeron: what but you all promised me-

Aegon: one day, young apprentice. One day.

Aemond: I was never called your apprentice

Helaena: I'm getting bored here

Aemond: i suppose we could take her to see the night Market. That is entertaining.

Helaena: SHOPPING YIPPIE

Later

A witch: do you wish to know your death child?

Helaena: no, do you? I see you hanging from the ceiling of your own house your own neck cracked and twisted-

Witch: *gawks*

Daeron: damn

Aegon, holding four cups of wine and handing it to his siblings: I got everyone a cup. Drink up quickly the night is young.

Aemond, watches someone swallow a sword: that's just a waste of the sword

Daeron: can't imagine it tastes good as well

Later

Music plays

Helaena: I wanna dance!

Aegon; fine

Helaena: No I wanna dance.

Helaena: Aemond?

Aemond, blushing: yes my queen?

Helaena: you want to hold my bag when I dance with Daeron?

Aemond:*demonic mjttering* yes of course

Daeron and Helaena; dance

Aemond:

Aegon: where did he learn to dance as that?

Aemond; can't have been with us

Later

A hobo:

Aegon: who the fuck is that

Aemond; idk keep an eye on helaena. He smells of horse piss

Hobo:???

Helaena: O, hello Ser Criston!:)

Daeron: hello! *unaware who criston is*

aemond and aegon:*gawk*

Criston: *removes his hood and looks at Aemond*

Aemond:*looks away*

Aemond; we can explain

Helaena: Daeron wanted to see King's Landing so we took him out.

Criston: during the hour of the owl? Are you aware how this could have ended for all of you?

Helaena: Please sir criston. *puppy eyes and dark magic*

Cirston: Fine but I stay. You need someone to watch you all.

Helaeana: Yess!

Helaena at some point: you know what we should do?

Daeron; *asleep*

Aemond: no? What should we do my queen?

Aegon: careful aemond I can hear your voice switch between regular Aemond and aroused demon

Helaena: Haha you're funny aegon aemond is as a sweet little brother to me:))

Aemond::(

Helaena; we should get matching tattoos

Aegon: that sounds cool let's do it

Aemond: what kind of tattoo

Helaena: a spider wearing the crown of Aegon I drenched in blood and with "We light the way' under it.

Aemond; I stand corrected that sounds cool

Aegon:*drags daeron as the three of them go find a tattoo person*

Helaena after the tattoos are finished: Oh you are all so handsome

Aemond, looking at his tattoo

Aemond; Uhm he made a mistake.

Helaena: No I changed my mind. I wanted a unicorn instead.

Daeron: It's not the worse

Aegon: What the fuck are you talking about there's a unicorn on my arm

Daeron:*walks up to a village maiden and shows her the unicorn*

Aemond: No way

Aegon: it won't work

Daeron and the maid: hit it off

Aemond:

Aegon: *in tears* my apprentice has become the master. Impossible.

Helaena::)) I'm so glad we got to do this. A positive memory between us all

Helaena:((

Aemond: I will never understand women.

Helaena: so you guys still want to go to the whore house or not?

Aegon and aemond:*nearly choke on their drinks*

---

This is what brainrot looks like

[devynsshitposts]

imma be straight with y’all, if one of my faves (including but not limited to @abadtakehonestly @hotdapologist @valeskafics ) gets shadow banned i straight up just do not know only because i go straight to their blog, cause i am not scrolling through the tags to see if they posted (unless they ask to just make sure they have been released from the shadowlands) i just go straight to their page cause even if they didn’t post new chapters they still answers asks and everything and that brightens up my day

[wakeofvultures]

Another conversation that does not happen in my fic but definitely could:

Alicent to Aemond: Elayne has a good head on her shoulders. As your wife, she will help balance out your more reckless tendencies.

Elayne: *accepts what she thinks is a dangerous/potentially fatal betrothal to remain close to her girlfriend, subtly talks back to Daemon “Fuck Around and Find Out“ Targaryen because it is her duty to defend her husband’s honor, and tells her husband to propose marriage to another woman even though it would paint a target on her back as the person currently married to her husband.*

Aemond: ...

[noirrose21-blog]

HotD has communism? Pretty sure that got invented in the 20th century with the Russians.

Aemond “Communist” Targaryen HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

[just-some-random-blogger]

The children would respect mama stark 😤

Daemon: FOR THE LOVE OF GODS STOP TRYING TO JUMP OF DANGEROUS PLACES

Y/n : ...children

Triplets : * stop and make a line from tallest to shortest by minutes *

Also i feel like aemond would have a big crush on her , he would be talking to one of her children like :

Ok ...the first one who gives me mommy's panties gets a ride with vaghar

MILF

[Blurb IV for the Stark!Reader Universe]

Aemond Targaryen & the Stark-Targaryen spawn + a hint of Aemond Targaryen x Stark!Reader [Daemon in the background be fucking quiet]

Summary: AWWW HERE COMES MY FAVORITE MILF

Word Count: >700

Warnings: Shitpost ahead (real), my a/n is longer than the fic (half real), I locked Daemon in the basement to write this AHHAHAHA (very real), crack fic, soft!aemond, aemond simping, and me simping for him, this is honestly pretty long for a blurb but whatever, fluff, typos, etc.

Blurb III Blurb V

A/N: THIS IS MY AUTHOR'S NOTE BECAUSE I'M WRITING THIS AND ADDING MEMES NO ONE CAN STOP ME THE WAY I CAVED SO QUICKLY FOR THIS MAN My reaction to your ask anon: 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

THE FACT YOU wILLINGLY BROUGHT UP AEMOND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SAY SOMETHING ANYTHING ABOUT AEMOND AND MAYBE EVEN REQUEST SMTH AND IT IS NIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Also i don't know if you noticed bestie, but i set the start of daemon and stark!reader's relationship wayyyyyyyyyy before aemond was alive, cause Aemma was still queen when they got married. BUT FUCK CONTINUITY. IS AEMOND PROBABLY YOUNGER THAN HER KIDS??????????? ASHFA:FOAEW HAHAHHAHHAAHHAAHAHH MAYBE WTF but let's pretend it's totally canon that aemond is a grown ass adult when stark!reader gave birth because it took THAT long for their enemies to lovers to turn into fucking lovers LOLOLOLOL And i literally just answered an ask about how many kids they have and i was like 'idk i didn't even gender or name them' FUCK OFF NOW THATS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE i still didn't name them though because a;lsfhkalsfhahsfas The incest is real, i got so confused about how they were related to aemond Tagging: @deniixlovezelda @pinksirensong @nyctophilic0vitnir

"Company fall in," Aemond commands. He peers down at the blonde children, hands behind his back, jaw tense. His violet eye narrows, "where is your brother?"

The eldest by technicality answers, "which one?"

Aemond hums at the sass, "obviously the one that is not here."

The siblings look amongst themselves and decide it was one of the twins missing. The youngest of the triplets shrugs, "we don't know where he went."

"Clearly, you don't even care where he went. You will get in trouble with your mother if she hears of this."

"No," the second triplet answers, "you will, cousin."

Aemond's nose flares as he narrows his eyes yet again.

"Aemond," the only girl in the row raises her hand.

"Yes, my love?"

"My braid is falling out," she raises her blonde hair. The flowers Aemond had placed in it moments ago fall. Sequentially, her lip quivers and tears prick in her eyes.

"Oh no," "Don't cry," "It's okay," and things along this line are spoken by the little girl's infinite supply of brothers.

Aemond can only watch as the boys come upon her, picking up her flowers and trying to fix her hair.

"NO I WANT AEMOND TO FIX MY HAIR!" she whines, full on breaking into a sob.

The boys turn to their him in panic. Aemond swiftly picks the girl up in his arms.

"Right," he mutters to the boys as he rocks the child too soothe her. She latches onto him as Aemond continues, "have you lot retrieved what I asked you to?"

"No! They're truly lost!"

"They weren't in the drawers."

"Or the laundry."

"They're," poof sound, "gone for good!"

He hums, readjusting the girl in his arms to look at her, "well it seems no one will ride Vhagar today-"

OUTCRY.

"-and your sister and I," he turns to the boys once, "will busy ourselves with braiding."

She grins as she grips Aemond's cheeks in her tiny hand.

Aemond gives her a lopsided smile.

"Aemond," I call. My son, who had come to me in hopes we find his siblings, releases my hand runs off to the rest of his brothers. "I see it is you who have been entertaining my children."

"MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

A stampede of children run up to my skirt. The girl in Aemond's arms wrangle away from him. Once she is released, she runs up to me, flashing her teary eyes and pout.

"Oh my dear, what has-"

"Her flowers fell."

"HE ruined her braid."

"I did NOT!"

"You did!!"

"Boys, that's enough," I quip.

"Aemond and I will braid hairs!" my little girl mutters amidst the chaos of her brothers.

"Ah," I lean down to her and caress her face. I straighten up when Aemond circles around the kids to come up beside me. I give him a look before turning down to the small blondes, "children, have you been heckling Prince Aemond for a ride on Vhagar again?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Your father will not be happy to hear about this."

"We were only helping him look for your knickers, mummy."

Aemond's blood stills.

"What?"

"There is a knickers thief!"

"Aemond is trying to catch him."

I turn to Aemond who offers a stoic look. He clears his throat and eyes me intently when he says, "the matter has greatly distressed the servants and I have been alerted by it."

"We can't find your knickers anywhere!"

"Because I don't have knickers," I retort to my son, "I do not wear them."

Aemond gulps roughly.

The boys look up at me and one asks, "why?"

"Well, that is a question for your father," I dismiss, cocking my head to the side, "come along. It is time to feed the wolves."

The children cheer, falling into conversation about their direwolves. I turn to Aemond, who was rubbing his temples, stressed by the noise I suppose. I watch as my daughter comes up to him and grabs his hand.

"Aemond, if you still wish to indulge my daughter, you may take her up the chambers while the rest of us head to the wolf den."

"But I want to see the wolfies too, mummy!"

Aemond chuckles airily, shaking his head, "then off to the wolfies."

"But you clearly seem distressed-"

"I assure you, my princess," Aemond reaches his hand out to me. I place my hand in his. He presses a kiss at the back of my hand, "no distress is possible in your presence."

I snort, rolling my eyes. I pull away, "you are such a boy when you tease me."

[jaegonsmoon]

This is an abo shitpost but like alpha jace is betrothed to omega helaena and during the wedding as they are about to say their vows and get married, he accidentally pulls a Ross geller move and calls her aegon 😂 who is already mated and pregnant to his little brother alpha Luke

nono cuz you know what I love. When they’re paired to the wrong brothers against their wills, and everybody knows what’s going down over there.

Omega Aegon who’s heavily pregnant, yes, but they’re all holding their breaths bc they know whose baby that is.

Jace is tired that day, he spent the whole night with Aegon. They made love multiple times, he was worshipping and whispering his name till morning came. To say his name in the altar was only natural when he was only half listening—half thinking of the prior night the whole time.

Lucerys knows. He is on board, because you see, he has his eyes on the wrong uncle. One who everyone swore and claimed he was a beta, until Lucerys, infuriatingly, found out the truth. Uncle Aemond was an omega. An omega that wanted to live a life as a beta, unmated and in solitude. Much like Helaena would have wanted. Aemond being an omega had created an obsession in Lucerys. He wanted him, he always did to begin with. Jacaerys always wanted Aegon, but it wasn’t ideal. Their uncle wasn’t diplomatic enough to carry the duties of king consort of Rhaenyra’s heir. They all agreed on it when Aegon took a liking to the liquors and the realm’s festivities. They paired him up with Lucerys to try and rectify him. Jace didn’t give a fuck. Neither did Luke. They shook on it.

[callahanisms]

lights! camera! action!

in honor of hotd’s golden globe win, have just this random shitpost of an au for the hotd cast.

aka. movie star au! (i also saw someone edit ewan to be aemond on the red carpet so that also inspired me)

anyways where do you see yourself, or your oc, fitting in this au? i’d love to know!!

ser criston cole

say hello to ser criston! or just cris, as you’ve come to call him. a stuntman making his acting debut in the new drama, house of the dragon. compared to his stoic persona, he is very goofy. laughs a lot and can never do one take. being serious is not his forte which only makes his acting chops a lot more impressive. he also laughs when he’s nervous and he’s constantly nervous around the more experienced people. doing combat scenes with him is super fun and he always makes sure his costars, and even you, are alright. does his own stunts. formerly worked on the game of thrones show (according to rumors at least).

“the princess rhaenyra is brazen and relentless. a spider who, haha. spiders. a spider who strings and sucks her prey dry. hahaha. i’m so sorry guys. can i get some water please?”

daemon targaryen

daemon is an experienced actor with a lot of films under his belt. however, he’s most prominently known to have starred in lots of b movies, particularly of the horror genre. he’s given his characters depth but the critical reception has really shrouded his talent. house of the dragon, then, is proof that he can act. and, most importantly, that he’s a good actor. he acts with professionalism and enjoys spending time with his costars outside of work. he does have a loyal following that are willing to watch anything he is in but also, he’s been single for a long time. dating just isn’t in his mind until he meets you.

“that was a really great shoot today. anyways, (y/n), do you want to join me and the others to grab some food? we’re all quite hungry and want to wish the children goodbye and good luck on future projects. kind of sad they’re leaving.”

rhaenyra targaryen

rhaenyra targaryen is a famed stage actor. outside of theatre and drag, they are not well known. house of the dragon signifies their serious television debut. rhaenyra is queer, using they/she pronouns, and presents masc outside of the show. they bring a unique perspective to their character and are well respected in the theatre and drag scene. they got into performing through drag and was even featured on a reality show for a brief time. they become a queer icon once making their television debut and can’t be any happier with their success.

“are those chocolate covered almonds? can i have one (y/n)?...thanks! say, there’s something i want to try with my character. spare me a minute so i can run it by you?...you’re the best!”

alicent hightower

alicent has quite the filmography to brag about. she’s been an actress since she was a child, thus she has as many films under her belt as daemon despite the latter being much older than her and having more experience. she is especially known from her role on a teen show as the sweet protagonist (who everyone eventually got fed up with after 8 seasons of no character growth). so playing a complex character like alicent lets her show off her acting chops while also metaphorically shedding her image as the good teenage girl. you can find her hanging out with rhaenyra or yourself.

“what made me want to take this role? well, it was a chance to grow, you know. and such a devoted mother, wife, woman, has layers to it. it just goes deeper than what i have done during most of my career. and to bring this woman to life is such a great honor.”

aegon targaryen

aegon targaryen is the leading man with a lot of fans and a role in an ongoing multi-movie franchise. a chris evans, if you will. his most notable role is as a righteous man, someone so morally upstanding. so to play someone like aegon provides him with a challenge. he loves the new material and to finally be something different! he’s also very much like criston, always cracking up during his lines and making jokes. he’s always bringing refreshments to set for everyone and there are nothing but good things said about him.

“oh wow. did you get me a smoothie (y/n)? you didn’t have to, y’know. i don’t mind getting you stuff....oh, you just wanted to? you are very sweet. maybe we can go grab some food after this shoot is done.”

aemond targaryen

the newbie. he’s only acted in soap operas and dramas but he blows up after his debut on house of the dragon. aemond becomes probably one of the most popular actors after his debut. his inexperience makes him nervous and after the takes are done, he’s always apologizing and asking if his costars are okay (like with luke). he’s mostly played sweethearts in his roles, so his character is a new change of pace. sometimes, he does need a pep talk from you because it is very intimidating to be working around such experienced actors and actresses like rhaenyra and alicent!

“i am so sorry if i was too aggressive. are you alright?...okay thank god! i was worried that i had pushed it too far....it was a good take? oh wow! thank you so much for the compliment (y/n)!”

helaena targaryen

the it-girl and a rising new talent, helaena is the hottest new actress. she rose to prominence with rom coms and many people feared she would be categorized as a rom com actress from then on out. however, helaena is not one for formulas! she starred in a tv series that went against her rom com image and a dramatic film that had critics praising her for weeks on end. house of the dragon is one of her many endeavors to expand her craft. she is also on the more famous side compared to some of her other costars and has a large social media following, hailed as a style icon.

“(y/n), you want to take a picture with me on the iron throne?...cool! weirdly enough, this is very comfortable....oh, are you cold? here, you can have my jacket. it gets quite chilly on the sound stage.”

jacaerys velaryon

jace has dipped his toes into acting, mostly in comedies because his comedic timing is amazing. but his primary source of income is as a model and a musician. he’s written a few songs solo and heads a punk band. house of the dragon represents his dramatic debut. and a lot of his fans don’t recognize him at first when he comes on screen until they look at the credits. nevertheless, he brings in new fans for his band and his numbers on social media sky rocket. he is a bit of a goofball like aegon and has a large storage of memes for the groupchats.

“hey (y/n), (y/n). why did the bike fall over? because it’s two tired! hahaha, sorry, sorry. i will stop telling you corny jokes. i know you secretly love them.”