#show me all of your tattoos while i imagine you fucking me- I'm totally listening

[gothcoffins]

butches with tattoos should cum inside me by the way. butches with a bunch of tattoos should bend me over and stuff their cock inside of me. butches with tattoos need to makeout with me and feel me up. heavily tattooed butches need to bounce me in their lap until I cum by the way.

this post is about LESBIANS.

[the1975attheirverybest]

oooooh fav lyrics??? fuck thats hard. i will not explain why because i want to seem somewhat cool still and not like a total fucking nerd (despite having incredibly in depth reasonings)

The 1975 - ok this is Album has some interesting lyrics because its before he had it all figured out and i fucking love it for that, theres so many fucking contenders for fav lyrics (including all of anobrain, antichrist or The city) the entire abum is just so mmmmm. but if i had to pick an absolute fav id say

"I put your mother through hell, don't you mind I hate your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind"

and i know i know its a verse but it isnt complete otherwise. Plus i have it tattooed on me so i feel like i had to.

I Like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - once again mmm chefs kiss of an album no skips (theyve never made a bad album) and lyricaly very beautiful, i could absolutely nerd out about all of their catalogue tbh. but for this i am excluding Nana and She lays down because theyre...just perfect, and also i sob.

so it would have to be

"And if I believe you Will that make it stop? If I told you I need you Is that what you want?"

or

"Before you go (please don't go), turn the big light off"

its really easy and tempting to put ballad on here but i think thats because his performance style for it is so visceral and while lyrically its beautiful still i cant imagine myself enjoying them if they were sung by someone else because they need the guts behind it ya know.

A brief enquiry into online relationships - delicious as always matthew thank you this day for our daily bread.

so its either

"I can show you the photographs of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you" thank you for referencing the bible matthew very cool.

or

"You build it to a high to say goodbye Because you're not the same as them" because it is like a fucking gut punch

notes on a conditional form - seasoned to perfection. difficult because Guys is on this album and its so sweet but i dont think its my fav lyrically, for no particular reason. same for roadkill although "i pissed myself on a texan intersection" always has a place in my heart.

"I'm in love, but I'm feeling low For I am just a footprint in the snow" did you need to fucking wreck me or is that just for funsies huh?

or

"Don't wanna bore you with my frail state of mind "Oh, winner, winner, that's your biggest lie I'm sure that you're fine" I haven't told a lie in quite some time (Quite some time) "You know we'll leave if you keep lying Don't lie behind your (Frail state of mind)"

Being funny in a foreign language - i take 0 slander for this album because its just as brilliant as the others. so first all of part of the band is fucking art and so im excluding it because it should be all of our favs.

"I've been suicidal, you've been gone for weeks If I'm undecided, will you decide for me?W

and

"'Cause, baby, I'll do anything that you wanna I'll try anything that you wanna I'll find myself in the moonlight 'Cause, baby, I want everything that you wanna And I've tried to just be me, like, a thousand times But you're on my mind"

sorry its so long and i couldnt pick just 1 (not a libra but still indecisive) in order to remain seeming somewhat cool and not a total nerd ive refrained from explaining each choice but yeah.

Welllllll……did you HAVE to bring up “Me” AND “Frail State of Mind”?!? Are you trying to make me cry? Cuz it’s almost working.

It’s weird I’ve always kinda thought of Oh Caroline as some of his simpler writing. Not in a bad way. Like “Me” is simple as well. Simplicity has its time and its place and can be wonderful. And it IS wonderful in Oh Caroline. But I’m a layers girlie, so maybe I haven’t been giving this one much attention *runs to listen to it*

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

KID WARNING!

Johnny “Coco” Cruz x Reader

Anon 1 asked: okay, so i just read “family” and it’s a freaking masterlist❤️❤️🥰 could you write a fluffy family time imagine with coco , reader and letti, like a movie night or something

Anon 2 asked: may I request coco x reader public flashing, like their in a store or clubhouse and when no one around she just randomly showed him the goods

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: NSFW, smut

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Spend your free night at home, now that you feel you have one, is the best idea Coco could had have. By morning, Leti and you went to the supermarket to buy a lot of junk food. Pizza, nachos, guacamole, popcorns, candies, chocolate… Definitely, tomorrow you will not be able to move unless you roll. And beer. Too much beer actually. You also had to threaten your boyfriend to not forget the family night all week long.

But he's late. He's always late.

“Yo! 'Am home!”

Coco's voice finally interrupts the silence in the living room, whilst Leti and you are putting everything on point in the kitchen. The younger goes out to greet him with a soft hug and a palm on his chest, listening how she says “you're gonna clean it all”. Yes, that's the punishment for being late. The mexican chuckles, crossing the hallway and wrapping your waist with the tattooed arms, as your back meet his chest. Raising a hand to his mouth, you offer him one of the piece of jam you're using to make the big pizza. He takes it with the incisors, eating it before kissing your neck so gently holding you closer.

“I love you”. He whispers on your left ear so dearly your legs shake for a second. “Is gonna be the secon' best nai' of ma' life”.

“What was the first, ah?”

“The one I met ya'”. Using the same low voice, he rest his forehead on your shoulder having a deep breathe of your scent. “Tha' was the best nai' of ma' life, mami”.

He doesn't need some words like his back, he's pretty good and satisfied with the goofy smile your lips are drawing on. How couldn't you love him? That's impossible. Turning under his grip, you place your hands on both sides of his neck, standing on your tiptoe enough to reach his lips kissing them peacefully, taking your time and enjoying the taste of tequila on the other tongue. Seems like he has forgotten that Leti is around, setting up the table, when he cups your ass with his hands, squeezing it. And that's the sparkle that lights the wick. Your hands touring his abdomen under the shirt he's wearing, dragging your nails over his skin giving him some chills.

“KID WARNING!”

Leti's scream scared the shit out of you jumping for a second, aa your heart does, whilst she's breaking in laughs.

“It was her fault, givin' me that… jam so sensual. You're the devil, mami”. He chuckles kissing your forehead.

“I didn' know you were into meat, I thought you were more into fish”. His daughter jokes on him, making you laugh covering your mouth with a hand before continuing making dinner.

“I didn' know I was livin' with a clown”. Your boyfriend palm her forehead, walking away to your room.

“All ready?” Leti ask then to you, looking around in case she's missing something else.

“All ready. The pizza will be in five”. You nod putting it inside the oven, turning after to her. “Beer is cold, and the rest is on the table. Netflix on point?”

“Netflix on point”. She replies imitating you.

“Cool”. You say highing five with her.

Of course, you two chose the movie. One of those that mix comedy with action. The night passes by, eating the whole pizza even if Leti said maybe it was too much, and all the junk' you bought as the empty beers were piled up along the table. The younger was lying down on the couch, while you were on Coco's top on the sofa. Your hands touring his chest under the shirt with smooth caresses, with his tangled in your hair. In a moment like that, you're already thinking about what happened before in the kitchen, trying to get somewhat comfy over his body. You're not gonna kick out Leti. You're pretty happy of spending some family time without nobody bothering you. But you has to recognize that you missed your boyfriend a lot today, waking up by morning with him already gone.

Saved by the bell.

Leti's phone rings on the table with Gabri's name blinking on the screen. She practically jumps off of the couch hanging the call and getting somewhat nervous.

“I'm sorry. It was amazing, but Gabri had a date with EZ an—”.

“Just leave, mija”. Coco chuckles moving his hand, no needing an explanation.

You wait impatiently for her to leave the house, feeling guilty for needing him so much that you're happy Leti is going out with her friend. When the door gets closed and you can hear her steps walking downstairs, you attack Coco's lips so hungry you can't handle it. His hands squeezing again your ass, pressing it down to make you notice the lump under the sweatpants he's wearing. And it's pretty delirious. You moan against his tongue, mixing your saliva and tasting the beer on them. Your hips moving looking for more friction with your panties getting somewhat wetted because of him. And you two are so focused on pleasing each other, that you don't hear the door.

“SHIT, KID WARNING! YOU DIDN' EVEN WAIT TWO MINUTES!”

“FUCK OFF, LETICIA!” Coco shouts, making her laugh.

“I'm stealing you fifty bucks fo' the new trauma. Bye!”

Licking your lips as you see how she disappears again crossing the door, your boyfriend bites your neck raising up a little his waist looking for more moves of yours, knowing he's too much needy.

“C'mon, mami… You've been provoken' me since I came hom'”. He almost sobs wit a scratchy voice, sucking your skin.

One of his hands pulls off your shirt, throwing it to the floor before catching one of your nipples with his lips. A soft gasp escapes from yours, touring your left hand to his hardness. You stroke him tightly above the pants, drowning his wailing and some curses against your breast.

“You wan'me to ride you, papi?”

“Fuck, stop playing!” He claims pulling down by your legs the panties you are on somewhat angry.

You love to tease him and seeing how fast he gets furious. Sitting up a little on top of your man, you throw away the only clothe you were wearing, before grabbing the waistband of his doing freeing himself. Licking your lips as soon as you rub your clit over Coco's sensible skin, he nails a hand on your ass and guiding his dick pushing it inside you without no more wait. You can't help but screaming out his name, needing a simple touch from him after being the whole day away.

Bouncing on top of him, spreading your legs and supporting one feet on the floor, you go deeper. Your nails dragging his chest as your moans flood the living room. You know how much he loves watching you riding his hard cock and your breasts jumping as if they were dancing. With his hands nailed on your hips, he forces you to dig his waist harder against your legs. And it's feel amazing.

“Fuck, mami… You drive me crazy…” His voice is hoarse and full of pleasure, closing the eyes and showing you his parted lips.

Leaning back your head a little, arching your back and placing both hands on his thighs, you move your body front to back. Fast. So fast. And you don't care if it's going to be quick, you're desperate and he's totally anxious for cum inside you, feeling the heat that emanates from your body. Coco is totally in love with you, since the first moment. And took him a little to recognize his feelings for you, but even if it's not all about sex, he wish he had done it before just to have seen you more times like this.

You lie down over his chest as he tangles a hand on your hair to push you closer. The mexican bites, sucks and licks your lips, sliding his tongue into your mouth to finds the other to take a pulse in a filthy and dirty kiss. Coco slaps your ass twice, making you growl because of the pleasure, squeezing it as his waist dance with yours needing to go faster thrusting you heavy. Your whole anatomy stirring under his hard grip, giving you shivers up your spine. And without expecting, he turns you above the sofa, putting your back on it without pulling away his cock. He pounds you harder, crashing his abdomen against your body making you move at time. Coco wraps you with an arm, placing the other on your throat.

“Who is your papi, ah?” He spit to your lips, almost touching them with his.

“You!” Screaming because of the thrust, you feel how he's pushing you to the limit.

“Who owns this wetty and delicious pussy, ah?”

“It's yours, daddy!” You almost sob arching your back because of an another hard pound. “Please… make me cum… I beg you, daddy… Please”.

Drawing a petty smile on his lips, he squeezes a little bit your throat under his fingers. Sinking his lips on your neck, pulling away his thumb enough inches to bite it and suck it, leaving a reddened bruise there. That's the magical move that makes you crash down into a delirious orgasm, with your shaky legs surrounding his body, pushing him deeper inside you with loud groans stuck in your mouth. He fills you with his seed, howling because of the pleasure above your skin, bristling it.

Some tired kisses trails up your jaw to your lips, drinking your air as he tries to recover himself.

“Fuck, mami… You're a fuckin' blessing”. He whispers with trembling breath and his heart racing, making you laugh low. “Wha'? It's true! I fuckin' love ya'”.

“I love you too, Coquito”. You mutter back, licking his salty lips with the tip of your tongue. “Mi papi…”

“Solo tuyo, mami”. He nods lightly caressing your cheek and pulling away some bristles of sweaty hair.

[toast-the-unknowing]

11, 14, 18, because I'm greedy :P!

I DID YOURS LAST BECAUSE YOU’RE SO GREEDY. Or because I knew 18 was going to take a while, one of those two.

11. If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

I often have a little angst in my fluff, or a little fluff/humor/comfort in my angst, and either some angst or some fluff in my smut, so it's not even just a question of "you don't get to write the others" it's that "you don't get to write hybrids," that's the part that makes this question tricky. I suppose of the three genres, the one that I most often write in its purest form is fluff, because that lends itself to comedy better than the other two, and I like writing comedy. So I’d have to say fluff. But I wouldn’t like saying fluff.

14. If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

Blue for being practical and hard-working and Henry for company/morale boost.

A part of this consideration was picking two characters that get along well with each other, because oof, the last thing you need on a desert island is drama.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

I worked really fucking hard on it all will fall, fall right into place and I am really fucking proud of the whole thing, but I think my favorite scene might be the one where Ronan talks to Adam’s mom. So that’s the one you’re getting. I am putting it behind a cut and I am sooooooooo sorry if the cut doesn’t work for people, because it’s long.

Adam's dad is seeing a doctor the next morning; Adam says he might visit in the afternoon, depending on how that goes. His voice is totally flat.

The main reason we don’t get actual dialogue of Adam talking here is just practical, to avoid needing a mini-scene of that conversation, but I do like that it has the effect of distancing us from Adam, stripping some of his agency away from him. So much of this fic is about Adam being disconnected from what’s going on inside his own head, that I like this moment where we take away his voice.

Ronan hopes the nurses will tell Adam that Robert isn't up to visitors, that he got rushed to the ER, that he's dead, so he doesn't leave the hospital after Adam disappears inside of it. He ditches the car in the parking lot and slinks back to main entrance, prepared to pace back and forth for a minute or an hour or the rest of the day.

The hospital visits are set up for a progression where Ronan stays at the hospital longer each time, as the situation wears him down more and more. He’s less and less willing to let Adam out of his sight, but he has to, since that’s one of the very few things Adam actually asks him for.

Except he comes to a dead halt ten feet away from the entrance, because while he was parking, Adam's mom arrived.

Relatively early in working on this fic I had the thought of “oh, FUCK, Ronan’s going to have to talk to Adam’s mom at some point, isn’t he?” It was one of the moments that I was the most interested in writing, so there was a lot of excitement attached to it once the horror cleared up, but my first impression was also correct. I suspected this scene would be an absolute bitch to write and it absolutely was. I worked on this fic a lot while riding my commuter bus and I cannot tell you how many afternoons I spent working on this scene, only to come away with one or two new sentences to show for the entire hour.

He hasn't seen her since that night in LA. She'd caught a flight back the morning after her dinner with Adam, so they hadn't all had to travel together, thank fuck. He doesn't know what he would have done stuck on an airplane with her. He doesn't know what he's going to do now.

The moment of Adam’s mom ambushing him in front of his friends was one of the very first things I knew would happen in this fic; the moment of Adam meeting her for dinner came a bit later, I forget when exactly. It was only MUCH later that I put together that this timeline makes no sense from her point of view. She ambushes him on a Monday; he calls her on either Thursday or Friday. That means she paid for three nights in a hotel or motel, without knowing if Adam was going to get in touch with her (and with more reason to assume he wouldn’t than that he would). I don’t think it’s hard to believe that she would fly out to LA in the first place, once Adam refused to take her calls; it’d be the only way to get in touch with him, and she’d know that the shock of seeing her, and the guilt she could lay on him about how she had to fly all this way because he wouldn’t just talk to her on the phone like a son is supposed to, would be effective manipulation. But it’s hard to buy she’d spend the money staying in LA, and spend the time away from Henrietta when Robert’s condition is so serious.

But I really LIKED the idea of Adam meeting her for dinner, and the scene after dinner is such an essential part of the story – and I don’t think it would have been as effective after just a phone call, although I suppose he’d  have been pretty wrecked after a phone call, too. So I had to make a call on whether a character would do this thing that doesn’t make any practical sense, or change it and risk weakening the story.

Sometimes you have to take something out of a story that you really love, but I generally hold that that’s if the element in question is causing problems within the story itself; e.g. if a joke is really funny but is ruining the tension or the mood of a scene. My own writing philosophy is that good scene work is more important that rigidly holding true to details of reality, but a different writer might have made a different call.

So here is an answer to the question of “when did Adam’s mom go back to Virginia,” whether it’s the right answer or not. And, of course, the answer to “why did she go back on a different day than Adam and Ronan did” is “I didn’t want to ruin this scene by having Ronan spend any time with her before now.”

She spots him at the same moment he spots her. She doesn't have the decency to look away or try to hide. There's something eating at her and she's making up her mind about how nasty she's going to be when she lets it out. Ronan hates that he knows that; Adam twists the corner of his mouth the same way.

I like the idea of Ronan – and, by implication, Adam – noticing the ways that Adam looks like his parents. I also liked having the gesture that reminds Ronan of Adam be a negative one. It ties in with the bit later, of Ronan being aware of Adam’s flaws.

"You just going to stand there all day?" is what she goes with.

"What," Ronan spits, "you think I want to talk to you?"

"You could leave," she suggests. "Better for your eyes than gawking."

"Don't pretend you care. You didn't know I existed a week ago."

"Wouldn't've pictured he'd have someone like you," she agrees, breezy in a way that turns his stomach inside out.

Probably Adam’s mom didn’t know he was bi until a couple night’s before this, when he took her out to dinner – I don’t imagine he would have told her before then, and I imagine there was some awkward “so how has the last decade+ since we stopped abusing you been” conversation during that dinner. Which raises the question of how she and/or Robert feel about Adam being in a relationship with a man, but honestly, I didn’t want to muddy the waters by bringing homophobia into the story. I wanted to deal with the abuse, that was the part that was interesting to me emotionally, which is more or less the approach that canon takes, too. So for “someone like you” I really meant it to be more about “someone with a giant tattoo and a foul mouth” but I suppose it could also be read as “someone with a dick.” In either case she’s intending to be very dismissive of Ronan.

"You don't know anything about him."

"But you know me, is that it? I can see you judging me. You don't know anything."

"I know what you two did to him."

"Is that how he tells it?" she asks, like she isn't interested in an answer. "He makes it sound like any of us had it easy? Three people in that little trailer, never any space, any quiet, never enough of anything. Robert'd work all day and come home and there's the kid getting in the way again, making trouble, telling lies...anyone could lose their temper. I did my best to keep Adam out of the way, but I'm just one woman. He never did learn to listen to someone who knows better."

There’s for sure one time in canon where Robert accuses Adam of lying to him (when he finds Adam’s pay stubs, the night of the concussion) and I feel like there are others, but I may be misremembering. In any case I find it an interesting accusation – because it probably is true at least sometimes, Adam would have to lie to his parents in some situations. But there are probably others where he isn’t lying, and that’s an interesting bit of psychology to me, this idea that his parents might think of him as a fundamentally dishonest person -- because they HAVE to think of him that way, because they cannot reconcile “Adam tells the truth” with “we are decent human beings.”

Beyond that: this paragraph got reworked about ten thousand times, and usually that means that I’m never really happy with the result (because maybe one of the 9,999 other ways was slightly better, because maybe 10,001st time was the charm) but this? I’m pretty happy with this paragraph. It’s awful in exactly the way I wanted this scene to be awful.

"Yeah, I'm sure it would have been really convenient for you if he'd just made himself stop existing," Ronan spits. "It would have been pretty great for him if that shitbag had gone to jail."

"Right," she says. "He goes off the jail. Makes a dollar a day. Gets out with a record and now no one'll hire him. Now there's no money coming in, all on account of a couple of bruises, that would've been better for Adam?"

The reason this scene was so hard to write, which was also the whole reason I WANTED to write this scene at all, was that it meant getting into her head and explaining what the abuse looked like, to her. What story does she tell herself about her husband hitting her son? How could she allow it to happen, for years? How does she live with herself? I wanted to get her point of view across, not to justify it, but just to make her an actual person. I didn’t want her to be a cartoon-moustache-twirling villain.

(I suppose I could have had a version of her that had realized what they’d done to Adam was wrong, but that’s so far out of line with the rest of the tone and plot of this story that it literally only occurred to me now, months after I finished the story and months more since I started it. That’s not interesting to me.)

She absolutely believes what she’s saying here: a couple of bruises are better than starvation. On its face, that’s a reasonable sentence! But oh, how convenient it is that she plays down the extent of the abuse; how convenient it is to pretend that those were the only two options; how convenient that Adam doesn’t get to express a preference between those choices.

"Having nothing would have been better for Adam than having you."

She shakes her head, unfazed. "That right there tells me you've never had nothing."

I think it’s reasonable to assume that she grew up poor, which makes this another of those uncomfortable parallel moments between Adam and his mom. Ronan has absolutely heard Adam point it out to him before, when he unintentionally shows off his privilege.

"If you were such a great fucking mom you could've taken him and left."

She doesn't answer right away. Ronan doesn't want to give her any space to feel comfortable in, to come up with these lies, but he can't force any more words out. His whole mind is one blaring siren, lights and sound, emergency emergency emergency.

There’s a bit of advice I’ve gotten in improv, that if you don’t know what else to do in a scene, you can just say how you, the actual improviser, feel in the moment: “I’m confused,” “I don’t understand,” “why are we doing this again?” Endow your character with those feelings.

I didn’t want to give Ronan another line of dialogue here, but I didn’t know what he’d be thinking or why he’d let Adam’s mom just take her sweet time coming up with horrible things to say to him, so I just went with “Ronan doesn’t know what to say and he doesn’t like this and he can’t even make thoughts happen.”

"You think you're gonna marry my boy?"

"Yes." He never figured he'd say that with so much hate. He never figured she'd be the first person to ask.

The whole “are you going to marry my son” bit of the conversation was something I knew was going to be in this scene basically since the moment I realized this scene was going to exist, but this exactly line about Adam’s mom being the first person to ask was one that just happened during writing. It was a complete surprise and I love it so much.

"You think he's perfect?"

Ronan clenches his jaw. Adam is a stubborn control freak with a temper and intimacy issues a mile wide. Ronan knows that, and he doesn't care; he doesn't need Adam to be perfect.

Adam and Ronan recognizing each other’s flaws is one of my absolute favorite things about the ship.

But he's not going to say that to her. Adam is a god compared to her. She should be walking door to door proselytizing for him. She should be proud of him.

When you’re listing things, you generally want to get stronger as you go through the list; if you’re e.g. writing a joke, you want the funniest item on the list to be the last one (unless the joke is that you’ve messed up the list; Leslie Knope’s “I gotta stop ending on that boring thing” is a good example). This one plays out the other way. The list of things gets more reasonable as it goes along, to emphasize how tragic it is that Adam’s mom cannot do this one very reasonable thing.

"You know what marriage is?" she asks. "It's picking a man and saying, I choose this one, even though he's not perfect. If you can't stay with him when he makes a mistake then you don't marry him."

Another moment where Adam’s mom puts words together in a way that is completely true and rational and yet also a horrifying nightmare sentence when you put it in context!

Everything stops.

He can't speak. He can't move. Every living part of him is blasted away by a scalding wave of outrage. His vision blurs out and Adam's mom fades out of existence -- and then it slams back into place, everything too sharp against his eyes, and she's still there.

He wants her to stop talking. He wants to strangle her so she has to stop talking. He wants to drag her through the streets while people throw things and scream her sins at her. He wants her to admit that she did something wrong. He understands, in a sudden, terrible way, why Adam doesn't expect his father to apologize, and he's shaking with all of the things he's not doing.

Oh my lord these paragraphs. THESE PARAGRAPH. I mean this whole scene was painstakingly forged one word at a time, like I was making chain mail or some shit, but THESE PARAGRAPHS probably took a week’s worth of afternoon commutes all on their own. The thing he’s reacting to is so horrifying, but at the same time, they’re just words; from the outside this just looks like a conversation, this looks like nothing. So I suppose some of the difficulty was in walking this line between too strong of a reaction and not strong enough of a reaction.

Also, just, is there a word for that medieval punishment kind of thing, where they drag you through the streets and yell at you and throw things at you? Is there? That sentence alone I changed every single word of so many times, fuck.

I do quite like that moment of Ronan better understanding Adam, though. That is, of course, the actual plot and character significance of this scene; getting inside of Adam’s mom’s head was an interesting puzzle for me, as a writer, to play with, but what actually matters is that Ronan comes away from this conversation really KNOWING something that before he could only know in an academic way, if that.

"You had to make a choice." His voice is harsh in his own ears, but she just looks bored with him. "And you picked the wrong one."

This bit of dialogue is another one that was written relatively early, compared to the rest of the scene, so I’m not sure why it took me so long to figure out that “you pick a man and stick with him” “well you picked the wrong one” sounds like Ronan is saying that Adam’s mom picked the wrong man to marry out of all of the potential men she could have married. It is SUPPOSED to mean, “you had to pick between your husband or your son, and you fucked up,” but I couldn’t really find a way of rephrasing it that made that clearer and that still flowed in the conversation. I consoled myself that readers would probably understand it, anyway. I had to trust you guys on this one.

[etlunainmorte]

🏝 I See My Future Before Me 🏝

***

"Ahem!" Patty cleared her throat, making the two of you look at her. "Get a room, whatever?"

V chuckled as he let you go for a while. With a sheepish smile, he, then helped you sit and wrapped his arms around you once more. He was really glad with how things turned out. He couldn't explain it, himself, but, who cares about it now?! What's important was that -

All of a sudden, you heard some strange noises just outside the door.

V let you go and nodded at Patty as he stood up, his eyes darting cautiously on the door. He slowly walked towards it, grabbed the brass door knob, and flung open the door - !

"WHAT THE F - ?!"

You heard a voice as V drew back, wide - eyed, from the door.

And lo and behold, Nico, and a strange - looking boy with sharp features came scrambling on the floor at the poet's feet!

"Who are you, people?!" Patty demanded, unable to believe that some strangers managed to infiltrate the villa, yet again. Well, V was one thing but, these people?

"I can explain,... everything!" Nico retorted as she stood up, rubbing her hip. "Oh, and I was definitely not listening,..." She, then, looked at the mystery boy, who was still on the floor, and practically smacked him on the head with much force. "Hey! About time you get up!"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" The boy screamed as he scrambled to his feet and hid behind V, completely frightened of the crazy Artisan. "I can't believe this woman, V! She dragged me and the housecat out of the house all of a sudden! She even blackmailed that pimple kid Nero and the others to come with her here!"

"Nero,... and the others?" The poet asked, and even before he, or the strange boy, could say or do anything else, all of you heard an impatient tapping on the glass door. All of you turned and saw none other than Nero, himself, wearing nothing but his navy - blue swimming trunks. He was carrying a surf board, and gesturing something really weird at you. Other than that, he looked really annoyed, or pissed, that you almost felt relieved that you couldn't hear him or understand what he's saying through that thick glass door.

"Where is the bathroom here, anyway? This place is humongous!" You heard a distinct and familiar voice from the doorway, and, surely enough, when you turned back, you saw the Legendary Devil Hunter wandering about the hallway like he was lost. And what's more, he was carrying a huge hiking bag on his back and at least two bulky luggage on each hand, like he was going on a vacation or something.

"DANTE?!" Patty practically screamed at the top of her lungs as she angrily strode towards him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AFTER GHOSTING ON ME FOR THREE MONTHS?! I INVITED YOU FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY BUT, YOU DIDN'T COME! AND NOW, YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SHOW UP HERE?! WHAT THE HELL, DANTE?!"

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Wait a second here, señorita!" Dante drew back in terror upon witnessing the girl's pure and utter rage. "I can explain! A lot of things happened, and - "

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK UNTIL I SAY SO! AARRGGHH!"

You were trying to suppress your laughter at Patty's outrage ( no one could blame her, after all, he did ditch her on her birthday party ) when something suddenly threw itself at you and hugged you tightly. You looked down and to your surprise, you saw a pale, little girl with long, black hair that seemed sentient. She was even giving you a weird look with her pair of huge, red eyes, like a lost child who just found her mother.

"Oh, ah,... hello!" You awkwardly greeted but, she didn't say anything. She just went on staring at you with those huge eyes of hers, and that weird, and yet funny, expression that made her look like she has committed some kind of unspeakable crime.

You looked up at V and noticed his features clearly contorting with stress due to the sudden visitors around him. And who could blame him? You totally had no idea how much he wanted to be by your side. He wanted to be alone with you for a change! And if he's being honest with himself, he wanted to do more than just talk with you!

But, now, it seemed that his plans, and his patience, were really getting pushed to their utmost limit,...

You gulped nervously as you saw the poet knitting his eyebrows in suppressed anger, bowing down low and reaching for his nose bridge to pinch it.

***

♡♡♡

***

" ... it was like I was dreaming. Like, I was drowning, and suddenly, someone took my hand and pulled me out of the water!"

" ... uhu,..."

"And when I was back on the surface, I heard his voice. He said, my love."

" ... yeah, and,... ?"

"You see, I thought Dracula was playing on the background, so I answered, and my life, always! And when I opened my eyes, I saw him! And he's looking down at me!"

" ... okay."

"And when we kissed and embraced, I felt this kind of energy surging throughout my body! It's like,... AARRGGHH! It's really hard to explain! Like, I was this,... are you even listening to me?!"

"GOD, SWEET PEA! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYIN' TO COOK THIS THING?!" Griffon howled as he pointed at the raw chicken on the grill before him. "I'VE BEEN STARIN' AT THIS CHICKEN FOR THIRTY FUCKIN' MINUTES, AND NOTHIN'S HAPPENIN', AT ALL!"

"Stupid!" Nico, who was already wearing a yellow two - piece bikini, mocked as she placed her hands on her hips. "Ye're supposed to set the charcoal on fire! And fan the flames! God!"

And with a shrug of her shoulders and a shake of her head, the Artisan walked away from them and joined the others for a game of beach volleyball.

You stared at the familiar, whose bald head began sweating hard, if it's even possible.

"Err, is that right? Y - ya set the charcoal on fire?" He stuttered as he stared at the weird cooking device.

"Well, yeah." You answered as the side of your lips went up in a visible smirk. "You know, you might be bipedal right now, but - "

"DON'T ya dare say I'm still a fuckin' BIRD BRAIN!" The familiar yelled at your face as he accidentally burned and almost reduced the raw chicken to ashes with the power of electricity that came out of his fingers. Startled and shocked upon realizing and seeing what he's done to the whole crew's lunch, he quickly took the grill grates, threw the burnt chicken, and buried it beneath the sand underneath his feet. He slowly and nervously looked at you with huge eyes and raised eyebrows. Then, he gulped. "Umm,... you didn't see anythin', 'kay?"

You covered your mouth to suppress the laughter.

Ever since waking up in V's arms three days ago, you've been thrown to such unexpected experiences that you honestly never imagined yourself being a part of. For one, you were so surprised upon seeing Griffon's new and cleansed form ( according to him ) after his supposed demise at Shadow's hands. You even had to admit to yourself that you're still having a hard time adjusting to him looking as normal as any human can be. You also found out that, during those three days of adjustment, his wings occasionally sprout from his back from time to time, and his striking golden eyes looked clearly sharper than ever before when he was still a demonic bird, not to mention those pointed ears that caught your attention the moment he finally re - introduced himself to you. But, what caught your attention the most was the fact that you were, somehow, no longer contracted to him in any way, shape, or form. It must be because you no longer hold the authority to command the Sisters of Fate, thus, making you a simple and ordinary human being without the power to command a demonic familiar.

You could say the same thing for Shadow. Well, who could blame you, anyway? Not now when she looked like someone's adorable little sister. That very obvious fact aside, those familiar streaks of red light still manifested on her skin when she's startled. That long, dark hair of hers took on a life of its own when someone angered her. She even hissed at anyone who made the huge mistake of taking away her toys ( the Elmo plushie in particular ). Other than that, she still hasn't outgrown her habit of purring and rubbing against you occasionally. You found this very endearing, actually, despite the fact that this female familiar gave you a lot of problems three months ago. She was, in fact, very guilty and apologetic and sweet that you forgave her quite easily. Well, she did nothing wrong in the first place. She only did those horrible things because she was only commanded to do so. She has nothing to apologize for in the first place. And now, Shadow refused to leave your side, she even has this habit of climbing on the bed with you in the middle of the night for some snuggles.

Those two familiars aside, you were very surprised upon hearing the good news from Nero, himself. Who would've guessed that he and his lady love, Kyrie, were eagerly awaiting their own bundle of joy? Nico was the same as ever. If anything, she bullied Griffon even more now that the familiar has turned into a human. She dotes on Shadow a lot, she even provided the familiar a closet - full of clothes for her to wear. She was also spoiling her rotten with treats. And Dante? Seriously, the poor guy, you decided, was a real masochist, letting himself be completely bossed around by both Lady and Trish, who made him carry their things around the beach. You were not sure whether this was the result of him being deeply indebted to these two ladies but, the sight of him going after them like a scruffy - looking butler in red leather really put a smile on your face.

All of these changes and familiar faces you embraced so well. However, there was one particular face that changed a lot within those three months of your absence.

Jet black hair now as white as snow, dark, swirling demonic contract tattoos now barely visible on pale skin, and soft, emerald eyes gentler than ever before, you never expected V to look so,... changed,... after those past three months that you didn't see him. It was like,... he went through a lot, suffering, trials, growth,...

But, whatever happened to him during those days, it surely changed him a lot as a person. He has,... somehow become even more thoughtful, and careful,... he has become even more caring and protective towards you if that's even possible. The way he moved changed a lot, as well. Before, nothing could make him move even a single finger unless he has deduced it was safe to do so. Now, he seemed more,... careless,... towards you and only you. Open, even. Like, he was totally letting his guard down for you to let you in on his thoughts, and his heart.

And not only that. He seemed,... closer,... towards you. Like, not even a few feet away. He was really close. You sit, he will sit. You stand, he will stand. You walk, he will most definitely walk, too. There were even times when you accidentally bumped into him when you turned too quickly. When you wake up in the morning, you would find yourself completely surprised to see not only Shadow sleeping next to you but, the poet, as well. Heck, you even have a hard time shooing the guy off whenever you need to go to the bathroom! He always seemed to follow you wherever you go. And him being so attached to you like that? Of course, you honestly felt both shy, confused, and really bashful at the same time!

And that,... was only two days ago.

Because now, V seemed,... different. Well, not the scary or the off type of different, no. It seemed like there was a sense of,... urgency,... with the way he moved. The way he looked at you, the way he reached for your hand, the way he touched you, the way he whispered to your ear, not to mention that spine - tingling effect his low and deep voice has on you,...

You knew he was up to something! You knew,... you felt it. And honestly? You felt a mixture of both fright and excitement with the way he's acting towards you lately. You were fully aware of where you stand with regards to things such as intimacy in a relationship. And you being, well,... you? You couldn't help but be both scared and giddy. A lot of things were going through your mind: how would it feel like? Would it hurt? Would there be a lot of blood, like what they said? Would you get sick the next day? But most important of all, would he really be gentle towards you?

These thoughts were still on your mind when you walked out of the villa to join the others on the beach, and when he saw you, he almost immediately dropped whatever he's doing to rush over to your side, only to be stopped by both Dante and Nero.

"Hey, man, we need another one for the team." Dante told him, grabbing the poor poet by the shoulder.

"Come on, V. They're gonna destroy us!" Nero pleaded as he pointed at the three women, Nico, Lady, and Trish, all in their swim suits, waiting for the men to join them for another round of beach volleyball.

You smiled and nodded at V, who glanced helplessly at you as the men dragged him. You were about to watch the spectacle when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and noticed it was Patty, together with Kyrie, who chose to stay out of the beach due to her delicate state. And both women were smiling mischievously at you.

V and the others were still playing ( albeit it with much difficulty on the poet's part ) a few moments later when you, Patty, and Kyrie came out of the house. And when V saw you, he -

"V, WATCH OUT!" The warning from Nero and Dante came too late as the ball that was hit by Lady came speeding towards him and hit him in the face.

"Youch! That must really hurt!" Griffon, who was still roasting another batch of almost burnt chicken for lunch, flinched as he watched you run towards V, now with a bleeding nose.

Everything went peaceful for a while after that: Shadow, who was really not fond of swimming or getting wet entirely, minding her own business as she built her own sand castle, Kyrie and Nero playing with the orphans on the shore, Nico appraising Griffon's grilled chicken with a keen eye, Griffon hiding several burnt chicken on the sand beneath his feet with a nervous smile, Trish, Lady, and now Patty, bullying Dante to buy ice cream for them,...

... and you taking care of V as you two sat on a towel he borrowed from Patty a while ago.

"You should have been more careful." You told him as you gently wiped the blood off his face.

"I'm fine." He answered quietly as he let himself be pampered by you. "Don't think too much about it."

"Are you sure nothing's broken?"

"I' am perfectly sure."

V glanced at you with such gentle and thoughtful eyes.

For three days since being back together again, V has tried multiple ways of getting close to you, with each attempt ending in miserable failure due to the interference of the people around him. And it has led to him feeling both annoyed and frustrated. While you were absolutely correct that he, indeed, wanted to be intimate with you, he also had another, more vital, reason behind his actions for the last few days. He has found out the reason you were brought back ( or, one might even argue that you really didn't die back then ), and that was partly due to you finally accepting that you need him, and mostly because V practically, and unknowingly, shared his energy, or life force, with you. He couldn't really explain how this happened ( or maybe Cassandra or Andromeda knew, he just didn't bother to ask any of them ), but when he touched, embraced, and kissed you ( albeit briefly due to those interfering people ), he knew that some form of power left his body, surging through every fiber, every nerve, and every vein in his body, and made its way towards you, giving you strength, health, vitality,...

... giving you life.

He was fully aware of what he has done to you in the past - of robbing you of your only life source - that has led to him regaining what he almost lost - life. And him giving back to you that power of life and vitality in some other form or way by being as close to you as he can,...

... it was the ultimate equivalent exchange.

He wanted to share every last bit, every last drop, and every last ounce of this unknown and unexplored power with you by being close, by always being there for you, and by always being with you in every sense of the word.

And he's more than willing to do this for the rest of his life.

And now, as his gaze landed once more on the scars on your stomach and on your thighs, he couldn't help but feel guilty and hurt all over again. You noticed how this made him uneasy and immediately zipped the pink hoodie ( that was given to you by Sister Christina for your birthday ) close so that he would not be able to see the scars, even by accident.

"Patty and Kyrie thought I would look, ah, you know, hot, by wearing this two - piece bikini they lent me but," You lamely made an excuse as you laughed nervously, hoping to get the poet's attention away from your ugly scars. " ... I look dreadful in it, after all. I mean! My feet aren't the only things that are ugly in me. Now, I look like an overused pin cushion, or some - "

"Don't!" V cut you off as both of his hands flew to your face to gently cup your cheeks. And right then and there, he immediately felt that same power leaving his fingers and making its way towards your skin, giving you a noticeable glow that made his heart do multiple flips. "Say such things, my love. You are beautiful, and perfect."

You smiled nervously as you felt your skin getting warmer and warmer by the second under his loving gaze. It really did feel both scary and exciting being with him in this kind of situation.

And then, you felt it: your breathing getting heavier and heavier with his caress, your heartbeat frantically rising with the way he looked at you, and your thighs instinctively rubbing against each other as you felt the warmth of his skin.

For a few seconds, you remained like this, looking into each other's eyes as if nothing else in the world mattered. And when his face inched closer to yours, feeling his hot breath fan your already radiant and sensitive skin, you -

"Hey, want some?"

You were sure you heard V let out a curse in utter frustration as he slowly looked at Dante, who was offering the two of you some strawberry - flavored popsicles. Your eyes widened in fear as you noticed the poet clearly giving Dante a glare that sent shivers down your spine.

"Oh! Thanks, Dante, but - " you stuttered as you tried to break through the tense atmosphere but, you were interrupted as Patty, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, practically jumped at the tall Devil Hunter, hugging him from behind and startling him, effectively breaking the already heavy situation between the two men.

"Dante!" Patty literally screamed at him, looking very excited.

"Damn, woman!" Dante turned, still unable to believe that the once little girl, who used to pester him only a few years ago, has now fully grown into a very matured and attractive lady. "What is it now? I have bought you your ice cream already, didn't I?"

"Hey! We're still celebrating my birthday!"

"Am I still not forgiven?"

"Of course, not! Unless,..."

"Unless what?"

Patty let go of Dante as she gave him a truly mischievous smirk, one that made you smile inwardly. She truly is making her move,...

"Unless you go on an overnight cruise with me."

"Are you joking?! Only the two of us?!" Dante panicked, clearly picking up on what he thought Patty was planning. And he was definitely not ready and not up for that. "Are you out of - ?!"

"Are you silly?! Of course, the others are invited!" Patty laughed as she turned and waved at Nero, Kyrie, and the orphans, who were excitedly boarding the yacht she rented for the special overnight cruise.

"Come on, Dante! We'll have so much fun!" Patty lured the Devil Hunter once more.

"Y - you don't understand! You and I - "

"Are what?" Trish, who also seemingly came out of nowhere, cut him off as she grabbed his arm and began leading him towards the yacht. "Are you thinking something dirty in there, Dante?"

"How inappropriate!" Lady butted in as she also took the man's arm. "How naughty could you really get, hmm?"

You stifled your laughter as you watched the three women drag the unwilling Dante towards the yacht like a human sacrifice of some sort. Then, you noticed Lady as she turned towards you for the last time before leaving, mouthing something like, good luck, cherry pie with a wink and a wide smile. Patty also turned, but she didn't look at you. She deliberately looked at V and gave him a wink and a thumbs up for a reason you still don’t know.

"How annoyingly human is that?" Griffon, who somehow made his way towards you without being seen or heard, spoke upon watching the said humans get on the yacht. "Hey, V, why don't we - ?”

"Didn't ya hear what the girls said?!" Nico, who was pulling along Shadow, who clearly looked annoyed for being disturbed, interrupted. She, then, took Griffon's arm and started dragging him towards the yacht. "Move yer ass!"

V couldn't help but smirk as he watched Griffon being helplessly dragged by the woman, leaving only the two of you alone on the beach.

Leaving you two alone until the next morning,...

Did Patty read his mind? After all, it was she who made a move to basically get rid of the others for him,...

If so, then,...

"They're just leaving us here?" V heard you next to him.

"Seems like it." He answered, listening to Griffon and Dante's screams in the distance until he could no longer hear them.

"Where are they going?"

"I,... don’t know."

"Oh."

"Hmm."

You two looked at each other, both realizing what the others' absence meant for the two of you.

"Want to go for a dive?" V politely and graciously offered.

"Not really,..." you hesitated, feeling hot, excited and nervous all at the same time at the prospect of spending time alone with your lover. V smiled. Of course, he knew you wouldn't agree to - "O - on second thought, sure! Why not?" You stuttered awkwardly as you finally agreed, making the poet’s lips curl up in a smile.

It could simply be described as the most relaxing day you've had in many years. You and him diving in the ocean and swimming towards that beautiful rock formation, the two of you walking hand in hand as you picked up pretty sea shells in the sand along the way, you describing the lovely things you've seen in your travels, and him tenderly telling you that he wanted to see such things with you,...

It was,... so beautiful, and perfect. In fact, the two of enjoyed this alone time too much that you didn't even notice the setting sun. It was then that he suggested to take a rest for a while and watch the breathtaking sunset with you, making sure you still have that towel to sit on for later. And as you watched the soft glow of the twilight sky with him, you couldn't help but sigh in relief and contentment. The poet raised an eyebrow, urging you to tell him whatever made you react in such a way. You smiled and simply shook your head.

"Thank you so much, V." You whispered, making the poet hum in question. "You were giving me life, weren't you?"

V smiled as he wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed your temple. "And what made you say that, my love?"

"It's exactly that. Your gentle touch, your tender kisses, your warm embrace. Every time you do this, I feel this strange kind of power coming from you, and this gives me energy, somehow. Like, ah, how do I even explain this? Hmm,..."

"Like,... this?" V whispered in that low, almost moan - like, voice as he held you even closer, wrapping both of his arms around you, giving you no chance to think of a proper explanation. You were drowned in his overwhelming presence even more as he began kissing you, letting his lips move against yours in an intoxicating manner, letting your own passion guide you as you shyly reciprocated,...

... and even before you could go any further, he broke the kiss, smiling bashfully as he heard you whimper with disappointment.

"Tell me, darling," V whispered once more, sending your senses straight to Heaven. " ... did you feel,... something?"

You pouted, feeling a bit embarrassed that he was teasing you now of all times when you suddenly realized that you desperately needed him now. But, yes! You did feel something!

You nodded, simply because you couldn't trust your own voice. This scenery, the atmosphere, the man you loved above all else,...

Everything was just too perfect, and you were afraid that this was only like one of those vivid dreams you don't want to wake up from,...

"But, you're not dreaming. I'm here. With you."

You bit your lip, realizing that you've said your thoughts out loud, and looked up at him, only to see tenderness, and warmth, and something else in those beautiful green eyes of his.

"And I want to give you more." He said as his face went down close to yours again. "I need to give you more. More and everything you deserved. I need you,..." You closed your eyes, feeling his lips descend upon yours once more,...

***

🏝 A huge surprise is coming your way, courtesy of @bettybattaglia and @la-vita . Please, look forward to it. 🏝

🏝 @micaelagua , @vergils-daughter , @shadowrosess , @gothghoulfrend , @beyond-the-mirror , @cantcopewithlosingv , @lessy86 , @ceruleanworld , @yepps , @heaven-on-a-landslide , and @krazy06 . 🏝

***

🏝🏝🏝

***

[typicalhippiegirl]

Let's talk about something.

First off, I'm not putting this messed up, peely, gross looking tattoo up for anyone to judge (I'm not happy with it either). I'm putting this out there to help others learn from my mistakes & hopefully prevent them from going thru what I've been dealing with.

There's a tattoo expo coming to town with featured artists from out of town. I find one thru IG whose work looks clean & I like her style so I DM her about setting an appt. Shes got time this weekend yay! no waiting for the expo. -Do you see the mistakes I made already? It's so obvious to me now😓

Saturday's here, I head to the shop (for the first time) for the appointment & the moment I walk in it's like Uh, wtf? Half the shop is taped off & in the middle of a remodel (no dust or active working, just shit all moved around). I brush it off, theyre getting things ready for an expo right? They need people tattooing there, not playing pool so ya, no wonder it's a bit messy.

Next she shows me the stencil and its fuckin huge. Like I specifically said between 6-8 inches max bc it's going on my forearm & i'm not Stretch Armstrong. Shes like Oh I kept it between 8 & 10. Well ya didn't fuckin listen bc what woman has arms that long? So it's resized & idk what we were casually talking about but she def rolled her eyes at me. Look man, I'm a pretty easy going person and depending on the situation I may take a slight without saying shit. Also like low self confidence helps with that right? So anyway, at the point I should have been like Alright dude, we're not really clickin & I'm not feelin this anymore & walked TF out. I didnt. Like an idiot. I'm not gonna lie, part of it was losing put on the deposit the other part was just me telling myself it would be fine despite in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

So we start. Yo, she's a Fuckin. Bitch. I wanted a theme right, this chick is supposed to be a Texas pinup, I wanted certain colors in her clothes. I asked "What colors are we thinking for her?" She actually scoffed and says "These ones" while motioning at her cups. Wow. Ok, well, fuck I don't want to ask her anything anymore so I shutup & go with it.

This shit HURTS. I'm not a pussy when it comes to pain. I have several tattoos, including fingers, toes and a whale that was particularly painful because it goes directly over my very bony shin. I've been cut, I've had a baby without drugs. Mags remind me of getting a razor cut and I find pleasure in the feeling. I can tolerate some pain and this shit sucked. Yo, at the end she switched down to a single needle and that was KILLER. I felt like I was being carved into (which, if you'd ever seen my back you'd know, I know the feeling).

Alright so finally we're finished & I roll into the next day. I'm a bit worried about the appearance and not just bc she looks like she broke her leg. It looks wet. I continue my aftercare as normal: antibac soap & aquaphor. Day 2 I'm researching infections bc it's super painful, red but mostly it's wet. I'm afraid of infection also bc this chick had the trash can right next to the station. I mean Right. Fuckin. Next to it. To the point that the trashcan lid fell onto the pad where my arm is. I want to ask her to move it but she's in such a bad mood I think it'll just make things worse & she'll be even rougher. By day 3 I've tried antibac goo & it seems to make my skin bubble where its been applied so I quickly quit using that. My arm hurts so badly at this point I cant put it down without getting shooting pains up my arm. I let it dry out so things are crusty but at least I don't find them medically disturbing. Regardless, I spend a lot of this day crying. Day 4 I'm still researching infection and come across overworked tattoos, scars & "hamburgering" My heart pretty much drops bc this is it, this is what's going on. What's even more fucked up is that I find this on forums for people learning to tattoo. Like apprentice's first few tattoos having this problem. Rookie shit, ya hear?😑

The pictures are from day 5. You can see splitting along the black lines, there's holes in the sun & near her belt. Oh and that's a thing. The hole is the sun is bc somehow a drop of green got in there so she went over it and over it and over it again with more red. Can you imagine my frustration at that point?

So look, I got this done Saturday, here it is Friday. My skin is very shiny and puckery where the peeling has come off. The scabs are thick af, I've only been moisturizing the places safe to so as of today almost everything but the cactus. Did I mention my arm still really hurts? I can't straighten it, there's pains that shoot out from the center, and why why why is my bicep sore?! I'm really worried about how the cactus is going to turn out. My skin looks bumpy between the cracks of scab. I think she used a crappy cheap green. I'm really left wondering about her experience as a tattoo artist. I'm just saying: My first tattoo was done by a scratcher in a dirty apartment bedroom. He did such a shitty job that I took the machine from him & finished it myself. Might I mention I was 16 and completely coked out of my mind? Also, I didn't hamburger myself and there was no scarring over that disaster of a tattoo (which thankfully no longer exists thanks to the aforementioned painful whale)

This whole thing has fuckin sucked. I don't want anybody else dealing with this. Let me outline some things I should have done differently so if you find yourself in the same situation you can make better decisions than I did.

1. If you're looking on IG for an artist make sure they also post healed pics not just fresh ones.

2. If you're not vibing with your artist it's ok so call it off. Look, a 60$ deposit aint shit to lose in the grand scheme of things, can you get a cover up for 60$? How about bad work or a bad experience lasered off? You can't get those deals, oh who knew? Sometimes losing money is saving it.

3. Don't get shit from travelling artists. Maybe they woke up a 3am & drove 8 hours & now they don't give a shit about anything but going home.

4. If the shop doesn't look great, walk out. Again, whats 60$ compared to your health and happiness?

This is a long post & it's not something I usually post about (lol who am I kidding? Personal tragedies are kinda my thing). It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed how she came out, I'm embarrassed I didn't speak up, I'm embarrassed I didn't just go to the person I knew could give me a good tattoo. It wasn't even about money, I didn't get a deal on this pinup mess. All I can do is move on. Thank goodness this wasn't my first piece or I may have been totally turned off from getting anymore ink. Now all I can do is continue my aftercare, hope for the best and when the time comes I'll go visit Vinny at American Tradition and get something else on the backside of my arm to distract from this mess.

Much love my inked up friends❤

Hey and if this speaks to you like you've been in this situation or are currently in it, feel free to DM me.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

[sp00kymulderr]

dO THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL /EVIL LAUGH (??)/ uhm from the "let's talk about" post úwù 💗 I'm sorry I'm making you write so much but i really wanna know!!! ILYSM

ANYTHING FOR YOOOU!

There is a lot here, I’m apparently feeling very chatty tonight so sorry about some of the long ramble-y answers again:

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

Itwas 2005, and 15 year old me had dragged my dad and brother to thecinema to see a movie that looked really interesting to me – itfeatured several badass women in the main cast at a time when Iwasn’t seeing much with actually strong, well written femalecharacters in. So I had to see this, and it was sci-fi which my wholefamily enjoys, so off we went to watch it. At the beginning, therewas a filmed intro of Joss Whedon talking about the movie and aboutthe TV series it came from, which I knew nothing about and thatworried me. But then the film started and I swear my heart stoppedfor a moment, I fell so deeply in love with the setting, thecharacters, the cast. The film was Serenity, and it started a lot forme

2: Talk about your first kiss.

Myfirst kiss wasn’t special like I wish it had been. I was about 14and it was with my best friend at the time, a guy who I had nofeelings towards whatsoever. I regret the kiss a lot, and the kissesthat followed. I wish I hadn’t felt pressured in to it the way Idid.

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

Idon’t really get intense feelings for people that often, especiallynot now I’m older. There was a guy when I was in secondary schoolthough, who I genuinely thought I loved (I didn’t). It was veryunrequited and took over my life for too long, and was a catalyst tothe depression I later suffered with.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Partof me regrets going to uni, but then I think about all theexperiences I had at uni and I would never have had those, or madethose friends, or enjoyed myself that much anywhere else. I can’tthink of much that I really really regret, I tend to think thingsthrough a lot before I do them.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

Iam the queen of good birthdays, istg! I ALWAYS go on holiday for mybirthday, have ever since I was young, so I have so many good ones.But I think it has to be between going to New York for my 21stor Berlin for my 23rd (my favourite place in the wholeworld), or this past birthday which I spent on my own in New Zealandand got to go to Hobbiton for the first time!

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

Ihave genuinely not had a bad birthday yet. This year would’ve beensad if I hadn’t gone to Hobbiton, as I was completely on my own forthe first birthday ever.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

I’ma total mess of insecurities tbh. I wouldn’t know where to start.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

In2012, when I left uni and moved to London on my own, I started a blogcalled The Theatre Tourist where I wrote about two of my biggestpassions; theatre and travel. A year after I started it, I got myfirst invite to review a theatre production which I accepted havingnever written a review. Once I wrote it, I knew this was what Iwanted to be doing, I fell completely in love with it. And to thisday I still run that blog, I have a fair few readers and connectionswith theatre PR’S all around the world. Currently I’m writing atleast a review a month for New Zealand theatre but when I was back inLondon I was being invited to at least 4 a week every week. I am soproud of that blog.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

Mytattoos. They make me feel better about myself because I find thembeautiful and they mean a lot to me.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

Thatbest friend I mentioned earlier. He accused me of all sorts andcaused so much stupid drama in my life. We had a massive argument inthe hallway at school once, I ended up in tears in the bathroom andwe stopped talking to each other. He was a massive fucking jerk andI’m glad he’s not in my life any more.

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

Ihad a lot of great dreams just before I moved to New Zealand, aboutwhat a great time I was going to have out here, and they havedefinitely come true

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

Istress dream quite a lot, the most recent one was losing my family ina natural disaster and it was awful.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Iwaited quite a while, so I was 18 when I lost it. It wasn’t perfectbut it was nice and with someone I liked at the time. It was, however, in a single bed which was AWFUL god. But other than that, there’s not much to talk about.

14: Talk about a vacation.

Whichone to choose though??? I love travelling and have been so lucky totravel a lot, I studied tourism and it’s always been a huge part ofmy life. That’s why I’m out here on this beautiful island in themiddle of nowhere right now.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

Idon’t feel content a lot, but my first and subsequent 6 visits toBerlin have been the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. Berlinis the one place I feel completely at home and know I belong.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

Idon’t go to a lot of parties! And the ones I went to when I wasyounger, I don’t remember a lot of them… I went to a really funfoam party in my first year of uni that I always remember fondly iffuzzily.

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

Whichone is elementary? Primary I think? Jesus, who remembers primaryschool? I don’t think much exciting happened when I was that young!

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

Waitwhat’s middle school if the next question is high school? Do theyhave a school between primary and secondary in America? I’mCONFUSED

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

Ohall sorts of shit.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

Therewas this guy in college who I became pretty close friends with thenlater told me he really liked me. He was sweet but so not my type soI just said no and then he never spoke to me again lol

22: Talk about your worst fear.

Interms of an actual phobia, I’m really afraid of dogs. Which ispretty inconvenient, they make me panic.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

Ugh,I got drunk at a work party and asked out a guy from IT I had beeneyeing up and he turned me down which is fair enough I was a messback then. But then I had to see him at work all the time and it wasso embarrassing for me.

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

Justrecently I’ve been having a crisis about what I’m going to dowith my life once I get back to the UK next year, I want to get a jobI actually love as opposed to ending up in a shitty call centre jobhating my life again. But the other day my manager told me that shegenuinely believes I can do absolutely anything and be brilliant atit, and that just boosted my confidence so much.

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

Iusually try and just get on with things and don’t admit I’m sickunless it’s really bad. I hate sitting still, I need to be doingsomething all the time even when ill.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

Scary?Death scares me, I can’t lie. I try not to think about it.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

TheatreRoyal Bath, I associate so many good memories with this building.When I was a kid and first expressed an interest in Shakespeare mymum used to sometimes take me to see plays there. I started a massivething in me and it’s always a place that makes me feel happy.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

Iput on music. Loud. Usually Bowie, because I know he will make mefeel better, he always does.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

Ireally hope this doesn’t tempt fate, but as of yet I’ve onlyexperienced self inflicted pain. Never broken a bone or sprainedanything. Uhm so probably my first tattoo but even then that was a good pain for the most part.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

Beinganxious. Seriously, if I could control my anxiety or make itdissapear things would be so different.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

Meand my dad share a fairly similar musical taste, and he was the onewho introduced me to all the musicians I love so deeply now.Specifically listening to Delilah by The Sensational Alex Harvey Bandmakes me think of him. With my mum, we both love Alice Cooper so anytime I hear him I think of her.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

Iwish I’d known earlier that there’s no shame in ‘sleeping around’.I felt ashamed for a long time about my sexual habits, and got shamedfor them. I know now that it’s all bullshit and me being in controlof my sexuality is a good thing.

Ialso wish someone had told me that you’re allowed to have stops andstarts in your career, for years after uni I tried so hard to followa career path that wasn’t working for me but I thought I would be afailure if I gave up, or if I ended up doing something that didn’trelate to my degree. Even though I still struggle with the idea of acareer, I at least do know now that I am allowed to do whatever thehell I want whether I studied for it or not.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

In 2016 the West Endmusical Sunny Afternoon closed. By the time it closed I had seen it150 times, literally seeing it at the very least once a week for twowhole years. It changed me a lot – I became more confident, I madea group of the best friends I’ve ever had, I started a fan groupfor it and worked with the marketing team for the show on a socialmedia campaign. It was a HUGE part of my life. When the show closedit felt like the end of an era, I really didn’t know what I wasgoing to do without it. It meant so much to me. But now I have allthese great friends who still talk and hang out and I have two castsof actors whose careers I’ll be following for the rest of my life.

[tonystarktogo]

I'm a sucker for tattoo shop AUs (Deep in the Heart of Me is my favorite fic EVER), and I can imagine Tony being the manager of a famous shop, and accepting stray artists that want to find a job and are poor/homeless/lost (among which Bucky, Clint and Nat), and just giving them a goal, a home and a future and ARG

Thank you for reminding me of the beauty that is tattoo AUs!!!! I can’t believe I forgot about this to be honest, I used to adore them in almost every fandom, but I haven’t thought of them in ages until I got your ask! I’m unfamiliar with the fic you’ve mentioned–I don’t read a lot of Stony–but I think I’ll give it a try! But for now, let’s get back to this AU.

I really like the idea of Tony being this crazy, loveable owner of a tattoo shop who hires very questionable people under ridiculous circumstances because he’s insane like that. I also headcanon that said questionable people are very protective of their smol boss because of it.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” the stranger snarls disturbingly animalistic.

“Uhm.” Tony stares at the knife—a real knife and definitely not one for the kitchen—and scruffles a tiny step backwards. Backs against a wall before he has the chance to bring a little more distance between himself and Stranger With Knife.

Damn those walls and the stupid people that build them.

He’s going to die here, alone, in an abandoned backstreet. Where nobody will find his body until they’ll have to hold the funeral with a closed coffin. If they’ll ever find his body.

There’s probably a life lesson in here, about how you’re not supposed to follow unknown men a head taller than you and double your weight in muscles into an abandoned backstreet for one. But Tony’s attention is too fixated on the knife to care much about unimportant details like that.

For once, he hysterically thinks, Rhodey won’t be able to scold me for my messed up priorities.

“I won’t ask again!” the man hisses dangerously. He’s got shaggy hair that could do with a cut and a wash, and his eyes flicker with the same restlessness that drew Tony to him initially.

And fine, he probably shouldn’t have followed the guy. He can see how this could be considered “creepy” by people less fluent in Tony-speak than Pepper or Rhodey. Natasha will undoubtedly slap him—gently, because she’s secretly a poisonous snake who’s adopted Tony as this weird, bumbling kitten that will not get killed by anyone but her—for this later. You know, if there is a later.

“I was wondering if you want to work for me,” Tony blurts out because he can’t think of anything else to say. Also because it’s true.

“I’m not fuckin’ work for hire!” the man growls. “I don’t do that shit anymore, so either back the fuck off or I’ll make sure you won’t need anything anymore!”

Alright. Tony decidedly isn’t going to ask what the guy’s going on about. Nope. Absolutely not. That would just be too stupid, even for him.

“What are you talking about?” he asks and promptly wants to knock himself out. At least that might improve his chances to not talk himself into an early death. Clint will not be impressed if he misses is 8 o’clock appointment tomorrow and he has to cover for Tony—neither will the customer. Clint isn’t useful for anything before eleven in the morning.

The man’s eyes—they’re a cold blue that would look a lot prettier if they weren’t levelling a glacial glare at Tony right now—narrow even further, the knife itching ever so slightly closer towards Tony, and nope, not a fan of that development at all.

“Look,” Tony decides to try and deescalate the situation, “You don’t have to answer that. Actually, please don’t answer that, because this sounds too much like one of those I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you thingies and Natty would not be pleased if you did. You know, kill me. Unless you tell her I called her Natty again. For some reason she really doesn’t like that? But what do I know, women are weird,” he muses with a shrug.

“Right, I was trying to make a point. See, you could just wave your knife around and possibly- probably kill me, which would really suck. Cause I’m not a big fan of being dead before my liver gives out on me and you don’t look like you’ve got another jacket, and blood is a bitch to get out.” Not that it would be much of a loss, with the oversized, worn down thing the man’s wearing. It looks like it’s being held together by stubbornness and nothing else.

He might have said that last part out loud as well, if the guy’s twitch is anything to go by. Tony can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not.

“Or,” he hastily continues, “you could listen to my gracious proposal, accept it with genuine appreciation and enthusiasm and in two years we’ll both laugh about this moment.” He finishes with a bright smile and a happy clap. Screw Natasha and Pepper, he can be reasonable and mature. He’s not the one waving a butcher knife around after all.

Said knife is slowly lowered by the stranger who tilts his head to one side in a show curiosity. He seems—amused, almost. Or maybe that’s Tony’s screwed perception of reality talking. Clint’s mentioned he has a problem at one point, something about seeing a ravaging monster and cooing over it and wanting to pet it. Which is nonsense, Tony doesn’t want to pet anything. Except maybe the guy’s hair, once it’s been properly cleaned. And that’s not his fault, it looks like it could be fluffy.

“I’m listening,” he drawls, almost like he’s humouring Tony. The joke’s on him though, because Tony is used to being humoured.

“Do you know Stark Tower? What a stupid question, of course you do, but just in case you don’t, it’s the best tattoo studio in the entire country, trust me on that, and it happens to also belong to me. You’d look great with a couple of tattoos by the way, really help round off that assassin-gone-rough vibe you’ve got there, and I’d totally do them for free or maybe not free. Pepper says I’m not supposed to give people things all the time, but you wouldn’t tell on me, right?”

“Anyways, I saw this,” Tony lifts the crumbled paper he’s rescued from the garbage at the café he’s first noticed Mr Tall, Dark and Knifey—and hadn’t that led to a fun conversation with the waitress—and waves it around as if to stress his point, “and you’ve got some real talent with the abstract design there, because this is amazing and I’d want it as a tattoo, wich says something, my taste is fantastic. Also I’m missing a designer because that asshole Wade keeps running off to do one thing or another and I’m not allowed to hire Peter until he’s legal.”

The guy stares at him in bemusement while Tony tries to catch his breath. Admittedly not an uncommon reaction.

“You’re offering me a job?” he asks after a moment in disbelief—and damn, this guy is catching on to Tony-speak real quick, he’s the right choice all right.

“Yup,” Tony nods. He’s thought he’s been fairly obvious.

“You’ve been following me for two subway stations, three bus stops and a couple of dozen street corners to offer me a job because you saw something I’d scribbled down at a café,” the man repeats incredulous.

Tony shrugs. “I didn’t know how to talk to you. Clint says I come on too strong usually.”

“And you thought stalking me would make me feel more at ease?”

“Well, no.” Tony frowns. “Maybe? I wasn’t—but doesn’t prolonged exposure get you used to someone?”

“Prolonged- never mind,” the guy shakes his head. “You’re crazy.”

A pause, then, “I don’t need a job.”

Tony scoffs. “Have you looked at yourself lately?” he asks, mulls over his words for a moment when the man tenses. “Alright, that might have come across as offensive but seriously. I don’t care if you need a job or not, it’s yours if you want it. Just show up sometime next week and tell Natty I hired you and if Clint is there please throw your knife at him, he’s an ass and screams like a banshee.” Tony searches his pockets for a moment before he finds one of his, admittedly worse for wear, business cards and offers it to Mr Death By Blade.

“You’re crazy,” the man states again, but he takes the card.

“Get used to it,” Tony smiles is sunniest smile because take that Clint, he can hire new staff without getting anyone killed.

*

“Have you ever even held a tattoo gun in your life? It’s not a real gun, for fuck’s sake! Tony!” Clint is heard screaming in exasperation through the studio a couple of days later. “What the fuck where you thinking when you hired Bucky?!”

Tony doesn’t look up from where he’s carefully drawing the worlds’ prettiest butterfly onto a young woman’s shoulder when he yells back, “Who the hell is Bucky?!”

*

[Bonus: “You’re taking all this surprisingly well,” Bucky comments at one point.

Clint shrugs. Takes a look at one of the designs over the newbie’s shoulder.

“Tony’s as fucked in the head as they come, but he’s a freaking genius at finding the best. If he’s hired you than that’s what you are. He wouldn’t settle for anything less.”

A moment of thoughtful silence follows, before.

“In three weeks, I’m gonna tell you how he hired Tasha.”

“Why in three weeks?”

“Studio rule. If you’ve made it three weeks without killing anyone, you’re part of the team.”

“Inside the studio or in general?”

“…you’re gonna fit right in.”]

I think I’m having way too much fun with this…

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ FAMILY ❜

Headcanon.

with Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas.

Request: Oooh yes yes yeah 😁 I show u take request 🙈 I would read something with Creeper dates a girl who already have 4/5 sons of a precedent relation. Maybe about how he create relationshion with their ? Like one love bike, another by playing football ? An the older is septic but one day he understand have Creeper for stepfather is having all Mayans for family. Sorry if it's sound to specific.

BY ANON

Warnings: none.

Word count: about 1.3k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author, I found it on Google.

Masterlist.

Creeper couldn't believe you were alone in charge of three kids, when you moved onto his neighborhood. And he knew you didn't have a husband around because he had never seen him.

The problem was when he realized he was in love with you, with your scent, with the sweet tone of your voice and with that smile which could stop a war.

“Wait, wait! Lemme help you, mama!”

You hear a voice behind you, making you turn around from the trunk of your car full of bags. A man covered with tattoos and a helmet hanging from his forearm, is walking towards you.

“Oh, no, no. Don't worry. It's okay”. You mutter somewhat ashamed with a fleeting smirk on your lips.

“Nah, ain't nothing better to do”. He just shrugs his shoulders, grabbing three bags in every hand and greatly surprising you of his strength.

“Than—Thank you…” You just say, taking the three left, before closing your car.

Walking in silence straight to the porch, you open the door with some difficulties making you both laugh until it finally opens. Following you to the kitchen, he leaves the groceries over the counter, having one quick look but without wanting to look like a creepy stalker.

“I'm (Y/N), by the way”. You say then, raising a hand at him hoping it's enough for a formal greeting.

“Neron”. The man answers, narrowing it softly, a little bewitched by your touch.

“Can I… maybe offer you a coffee or something…?”

Whenever you two were free of responsibilities, you used to sit on your porch to share some drinks and talk about work, or about your lives in general. And only when he knew that it could be something serious, he just talked to you about what he really does, one bit at time.

After some months, more or less, hanging out, you two decided to introduce him to your girls. Two twins of six years old and a pre-teen of fourteen. You were aware that he wouldn't have any problem with Lia and Marta. But Carlota was another history.

Since Creeper has sat at the table, after helping you to settle the table, you can see the younger whispering and chuckling with that kind of gesture that they use when they want to ask something, but they're too ashamed. Narrowing your eyes, as the man does, you look at them.

“C'mon, girls, spit it out”. You say with a funny smile on your lips.

“Can we color your drawings one day?” Marta and Lia ask in unison, pointing at his bare arms.

You can't help but laugh rubbing your faces.

“Sounds like a cool plan”. Creeper nods pretty convinced.

“Fuck this shit”. From her silence, Carlota drags backwards her chair, getting up to step out of the living room.

“Hey, mama”. Neron says grabbing your left wrist, when you're about to follow her. “It's okay. Give her time”.

“I can't let her behave like that”. You grunt sitting down.

“She is fourteen, baby. We both know what her father did. And probably she thinks I want to replace him, but it's not. She will see it, okay?”

The months kept passing by, taking the next step when you decided to live together. At this point he has already introduced you to his brothers, being more kindly than you thought. At least, they didn't thought that Neron was fucking out of his mind, for getting related with a woman with three kids.

Lia and Marta were delighted having him at home, playing with them whenever he had five minutes, or cooking pancakes on Sundays. And of course, letting your girls color all his tattoos.

Carlota, by the other hand, started to be hard-nose. Always locking herself in her dorm when she was at home. And it was breaking your heart, trying to talk with her about what was bothering her, even if you already knew. But the worst part was when the principal of his highschool called you to tell you about a fight that involucred your daughter with another three girls.

“Hey, mama, I got this, okay?”

What you didn't know is that Neron was already conscious about what was happening. So he was to take care of that business.

Your daughter was sitting on a bench in the peak time of finishing classes, crying unconsolable with her hands covering her burning face. She wasn't expecting the loud buzz coming closer, raising her blurry gaze to the road. Nine motorbikes made their appearance, getting parked backwards next to the sidewalks. The whole student body with their parents and some teachers turned at them, mostly whispering about how good those nine men looked. Taking off their helmets, Neron's brothers waited for him, having some cigs, while he started to walk towards your surprised daughter.

As soon as he was able to kneel close to her, he knew by just one look who were the other girls. He didn't say anything, standing up to lead his steps to the three families with their eyes fixed on the man.

“I know that your daughters are teasing my kid about me, about my club and about what we do. So, lemme tell you something, as parents you are, the only thing you want is the happiness of them. Keep it in mind. Because next time my kid comes back home crying, I will not be this… polite”.

The girls were trembling, hiding behind their parents who were terrified too because of his words. Showing them a fake smile, Neron turned around to your daughter to make her a sign.

“I want you to say ‘sorry’ to her, and promise that you will never gonna fuck her up again”.

“Sir, yo—”.

“Shut the fuck up, man. I'm talking to your ill-bred kids”.

“We… We're so—sorry, Carlota”.

Your daughter looked at him, clinging to his arm, pouting a little and pulling him back.

“Good. Never forget to be kind”.

That night, Carlota didn't stop talking about how scared everyone was because of Creeper, totally freaking out too about when he appeared with his brothers in such cool motorbikes.

It was almost two am when your boyfriend came from the clubhouse, a little tired and needed for a cold beer. Taking off his boots at the entrance, to not be noisy, he walks straight to the kitchen to grab one from the fridge. Opening it with not much difficulty, he has a sip turning to the island in the middle of the kitchen.

“Jesus fucking christ, Carlota…” He whispers with his heart racing. “What you doin'ere?”

“I couldn't sleep”. She just says, having another spoon of ice cream.

“At least, turn on the lights… You're gonna gimme a heart attack, kid”.

She laughs low, shaking her head, before getting up from the stool. Walking towards him without saying a single word, your daughter hugs Creeper wrapping his waist with both arms.

“Thank you for today”. She mutters resting her cheek on his chest.

Your boyfriend doubts for a second, not knowing if it's real or an illusion, but it feels so good that he could help her somehow. Hugging her back, the man kisses her head, smiling like a fool. Being happy to see that she's finally accepting him in her family.

“Listen, Carlota…” He says then, pulling himself away to leave the beer over the counter. “I don't wanna replace anyone, okay? We don't have to play this dad and daughter game. I wanna be your friend, I want you to trust me and talk to me about your problems, if you have some, okay?”

“Okay”. She just says. “I'm sorry if I hurt you ever”.

“Nah, it's okay, kid. I just want you to be happy”.

“I am, Creep'”.

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