#sigh sigh sigh self deprecation this deadly deadly sin

[divinekangaroo]

A short while back, I received a beloved comment on a very old re-uploaded fic which offered a "between 'XXXX' and 'YYY' is [superlative] piece of writing, haunting me for years" so i go Hmm! I have no memory of this specific section! and look it up and

it's a description of a median strip

i mean, it's a good description of a median strip, and once i re-read it i certainly remember contemplating carefully and exactly what i was trying to convey, but it is, in actual fact, a description of a median strip

[iluvyoutxt-moved]

i crack and out i pour

pairing: king again [king/beatrix]

word count: 2,186

content warnings: hurt/comfort, some mentions of alcohol/drunkeness in the beginning, vague self deprecation, mentions of injury + blood (not descriptive, its just there), mutual pining but painful

synopsis: beatrix realizes their own feelings for king and instead of dealing with them, they push them, and their friends, away. meanwhile, king deals with his own feelings for them.

"hey, captain," king sighed as he put down his now half empty mug of ale, "d'ya think i did something to make bea mad?"

the boar's hat tavern was empty, save for king and the captain of the seven deadly sins and boar's hat owner, meliodas.

the blonde man paused pouring his own drink, looking at king with his typical curious eyes. 

"they haven't mentioned anything to me, so i don't think so?"

"why would they mention something like that to you? i thought they hated-" hiccup, "your guts?"

meliodas grinned, chuckling, "d'aww, they're just exaggerating. gale even told me, hehe,"

"well i wish gale would tell me-" hic, "about how they're feeling… they've been avoiding me like craaaazy and its driving ME crazy!" king splayed his upper body on the wooden table, creating a loud thunk!

humming, meliodas' eyes turned upwards thoughtfully. 

"come to think of it, i think they've been a little more closed off than usual. they might just be having a bad week, though."

king mumbled incoherently, a whine emitting from his face-down body. that makes no sense, he was thinking, if it was a bad week, they wouldn't still be doing this to me after a month!

"i think that might be enough drinks for tonight, buddy." meliodas laughed, walking around the bar with his own full cup. he put his mug down with a hard thud and leaned on the table, peeking into king's own mug to see how much he had left.

"uggghhh fine, lemme just finish this one…" the fairy lifted his head, his face looking pitifully downtrodden. he grabbed the mug and took a heavy swig, chugging until it was gone.

meliodas took a slow sip, tapping the table with his free hand's index finger. "y'know king, call me crazy if you'd like, but," he lifted his hand and leaned his cheek into it, "if i were going to guess anything, i'd say they've got something going on in their head that might relate to you."

king looked at the man, his vision vaguely beginning to blur as he blinked. "huh? whassat supposed to mean?" 

"i mean," meliodas took another sip, "i think they're dealing with some emotions, and i think they may have been caused by you."

"what makes you say that?!" king exclaimed, "does that mean you DO think they're mad at me?!"

meliodas laughed, "i dunno! you're their best friend, aren't you? maybe stop getting drunk and whining about it and actually talk to them, you dork."

in that moment, there were footsteps outside. king perked up, looking towards the door. it opened to reveal beatrix themself, returning from their walk with gale. when beatrix pulled down the hood of their cloak, revealing their soft expression, king felt a tug at his own heart. 

"h-heyyy bea! welcome back! i got cut off, but d'ya wanna join us?" king said with an awkward laugh, trying not to overthink the feeling.

when they turned to him, their expression turned into a familiarly distant and stony one - though if his eyes weren't tricking him, king swore he could see a slight red tinge in their cheeks.

"hey king, meliodas. i was actually gonna turn in for the night, sorry. also, you know i hate alcohol."

king's smile wavered, before he raised a hand and waved it in a way of telling them its fine, "oh, that's okay. goodnight then!"

"goodnight bea!" meliodas chimed in, leaning back in his seat to crane his neck and watch them ascend the stairs, their companion following closely behind.

"nighty."

silence fell over the tavern once again, and king's brain began to shift into overthinking mode as he stared into the empty bottom of his mug. he must've been doing that for longer than he thought, because soon enough meliodas was waving his hand and trying to get his attention.

"yooo king, you doing okay?"

king paused, his heart beginning to pound as his brain formed a single thought.

"i think im in love with them."

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beatrix didn't necessarily mean to come across as so distant and closed off. it was a mask they'd simply gotten used to wearing - one that still seemed to persist despite being in a safe environment, where they felt they had friends they could trust. 

the sins (along with elizabeth) were all fantastic friends to bea, managing to break through their toughened outer shell and reveal the soft and damaged core they held within them. they became attached, feeling like they could trust the team and wanting to fight as best as they could in an effort to help their side.

it was only when they began to feel a spark of something different for someone within the group that their walls began to rebuild again. 

this is so dumb, they'd think, many times, why did my heart have to go and get so stupid? 

and it was all his fault.

the grizzly sin of sloth, king.

undeniably their best friend within the group, the one they seemed to gravitate towards the most -- which made it all the more surprising when they began to keep their distance.

the once in depth, late night conversations about how they felt about their lives, discussions about their adventures, fun stories, shared laughter that had them both crying, talking about their families and friends…

it all had almost disappeared overnight, as if king was suddenly shoved out the door and locked out. as if they suddenly didn't trust him enough anymore. 

which wasn't true. they trusted him, they trusted him so, so dearly. despite this trust however, there was still a nagging voice inside their brain that if he found out about their feelings, he would never be as close with them again.

it was all too much for beatrix to handle. admittedly, bottling up their feelings and turning cold to their friends again wasn't the best way of dealing with their feelings. then again, the last time they felt this way towards someone, he left one day and never returned. 

"gale," beatrix mumbled, face squished into their pillow, "can i talk to you?"

'is it about king again?'

"yeah."

the dog sighed heavily, 'you know, it really isn't healthy to do this. not for you OR for your relationships.'

there was a pause as bea shifted to lay on their back, reflecting on the words. "yeah," bea muttered, "yeah, i know."

'then why do you do it? why do you put yourself through so much pain?'

they stared at the ceiling, their throat tightening. "i just," their voice came out as a whisper, "i just don't want him to hate me. besides," they put their hand up in the air, palm facing upward as if trying to grab the ceiling, "he's… he's clearly in love with diane. hell, they've known each other for hundreds of years… i've only known him for what, three? i can't destroy that with my own feelings."

gale stood up from his bed on the floor, walking over to their bedside and putting his chin on the blanket and letting out a sharp whimper.

'you can't continue to torture yourself like this.'

bea turned their head to the dog, eyes glossy. they began to pet his head, his soft fur grounding them. in a swift motion, he climbed onto the bed and curled into their arm, letting out a huff. 

'for your sake and his, please do something to fix this. you can't continue to run from your feelings.'

bea closed their eyes, leaning their head into gale. 

"i know."

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it continued on. even when bea seemed to be willing to open up again, the door snapped shut. and yet, despite this, king's own feelings began to grow stronger. 

it wasn't until a few weeks later that the both of them would hit their breaking point. 

with gentle, shaking hands, king wrapped a cloth bandage around bea's knee as they sat on their bed. his face was twisted into a worried frown, his eyes focused on their injuries.

"why would you get into a fight like that, with none of us around no less? that guy's power level was at least twice your own! you could've-- gods, bea you could've been killed!"

beatrix heaved a sigh, staying silent, staring through the window to the left of them.

"it's like," king laughed, an awkward, fearful giggle, "it's terrifying, bea. i don't know what i'd do if gale came back and said you were dead instead of just injured."

"move on."

king froze in his tracks, his head jolting up to look at them, horrified. "wh--" king shook his head violently, "what? why would you say that?"

beatrix bit their lip. "i don't know."

king hesitated, before resuming his movements. he moved on from their knee, taking a wet rag and pausing. 

"bea, you don't have to, uh, look me in the eyes, but… could i touch your face?"

bea nodded weakly. their entire body burned.

king gently gripped their chin, floating upwards and tilting their head to face him. their eyes met his, and king's heart suddenly began pounding. 

if this were under other circumstances, he'd probably ask to kiss them.

steadying his hands again, he pressed the rag to a patch of blood on their cheek, wiping gently. as he wiped away the blood to reveal the actual injuries, his worried expression returned.

"i hate seeing you like this." he mumbled, almost as if he just meant to think it.

beatrix looked away again. "im sorry."

king's eyes widened slightly, before his frown deepened, "no, it's not something to apologize for. i don't know what's been going on with you, but," he paused, adjusting the rag and moving their hair out of the way to wipe their forehead, "you can talk to me. i won't be mad, or hate you, or turn you away."

something seemed to snap in them hearing those words, and their lip began trembling. tears formed in their eyes, and the wall began to crumble. 

king pulled back, shocked, before putting the rag down and placing his other hand on their face. "wh-what's wrong? did- did i say something bad? i was trying to be encouraging, i'm so sorry,"

bea let out a pained laugh, "no, it's nothing to apologize for. i'm sorry for everything. if i-" they inhaled sharply, "if i hadn't gotten caught up in my own stupid feelings i would've been able to- to realize i was hurt- hurting you too."

king floated down to eye level with them, shifting a hand to wipe tears from their eyes. "what? what do you mean?"

with a shaky hand of their own, bea took a deep breath and placed it on top of one of king's.

"king, i'm in love with you."

the fairy's eyes widened, a deep blush dusting his cheeks, heart pounding once again, echoing in his ears. 

"and, and i know you probably don't return the feelings, but-"

"can i kiss you?"

bea paused, bruised cheeks turning their own shade of pink. they nodded, and king moved forward, placing a delicate, nervous kiss on their lips. beatrix's arms moved to circle around his neck, gently pulling his floating form closer. after a few moments, bea pulled away, taking a few breaths. their eyes were wide, staring into king's own, as they both sat red-faced. 

bea smiled at him, genuinely, for the first time in what felt like forever, and king feared his poor heart was about to stop entirely. he returned their smile with one of his own, his eyes almost sparkling. 

bea tugged him closer, leaning their forehead against his. mirroring his own words, they uttered, "can i kiss you?"

king nodded, and they kissed once more, bea leaning back onto the bed and taking king with them, giggling into the kiss.

"am i interrupting something?"

the two broke apart, heads smacking together as bea sat up with a start. they grabbed their battered forehead with a groan and squinted over to the now open door.

"meliodas, what the fuck?!"

meliodas giggled, leaning against the doorframe. "well i was trying to get you guys to come down and eat, but i can see you guys are busy, so i guess we'll be enjoying ban's cooking without you~!"

"shut the-- wait, ban's cooking tonight?" bea looked at king, eyes sparkling, "finish dressing my injuries and let's get the hell down there."

king, already almost having forgotten the task they'd been there for, sputtered for a second before nodding furiously.

meliodas grinned as he turned to walk back downstairs. "well, i guess i'll see you lovebirds there!"

king finished cleaning and bandaging bea's wounds, a smile replacing his once worried expression. as he applied the final bandage on their right arm, he placed a delicate kiss on the back of their hand. 

"there. all finished."

holding their hand, he helped them stand up. bea stretched carefully, the pain panging in their body ever so slightly dulling by now. 

they grabbed his hand once more, intertwining their fingers with his own and smiling warmly.

"let's go eat. i'm starving."