#simon undertalks

[simonsoys]

This might be a stupid question, but if undyne taught papyrus how to cook and she burns down the house every time she cooks or at least implied to, why doesn’t papyrus?

I'm guessing you're referring to this:

I'd say that she doesn't burn the house down EVERY time, just that she's set it on fire before. Maybe it wasn't even while cooking last time, lol

This time she got carried away with enthusiasm and passion because you were a special guest! Normally just parts of the kitchen wall get burned, not the whole establishment.

But a little fire is a part of the process. Professional chefs do it all the time on TV!

The key to a good spaghetti is to flambé the noodles while they're fresh (uncooked). It ~*~*unlocks the flavor*~*~!

Papyrus works with fire in his trap and puzzle making, so he doesn't have issues in his kitchen when it comes to fire safety. My man is a professional.

[simonsoys]

I realize how frustrating bad fanon takes on the Undertale characters have always been, having been a fan since the game came out. I get it, I've felt it too.

But I also kind of feel bad because it takes so much effort to dig through all the dialogue. There's SO MUCH of it.

Especially for fan works being made between 2015 - 2018 because there was still new stuff being brought to light constantly that any normal single playthrough or "watched one playthrough on YT" wouldn't show you. There wasn't even a general consensus on Chara's role in the story for the first several years.

I feel like everyone goes through the "UT characters are funny and endearing!" >> "Wait, there's a lot of mysterious lore and implications here" >> "Actually, there's lore but it's still mostly funny" phases, but not everyone's at the same point in the ride.

I guess, I feel like as obsessed as I am in understanding the characters fully, I still think it's OK not to get them 100% right. People have been asking me questions about the game for 8 years like I'm an authority on the subject and I still don't have it all right.

(Honestly I think AUs that are totally and intentionally off base are OK too. Characters are toys, play how you want. Plz still tag them as their own thing though lol i beg you)

No purpose for this monologue, just to say writing the UT/DR characters in the perfect chef's-kiss sweet spot is actually really hard and don't feel too bad if you don't get it right lol

It's OK not to have Tolkien-scholar levels of knowledge on UT/DR, I still want to read your fanfics and see your art.

[simonsoys]

Do you think papyrus is a good liar or that he can keep a secret? I remember him using reverse psychology on undyne once but his lie to impress undyne was a bit obvious

(such a hard character to fit into a theory - because he doesn’t know what the sun is + remembers green grass before snowdin, but I’m still trying to figure out that mysterious skeleton!)

Well 100% he's a liar. See below:

It seems to me he's a great liar in most conditions. He definitely knows what the sun is, and he even references it when he's talking to you privately. It's only at the end when he's standing next to Sans and the other characters that he pretends not to know what the sun is. In the King Papryus ending he literally waits until Sans has left to break down and complain about the job.

He lies about how clueless he is in front of Sans A LOT. Like A LOT A LOT.

In the grease example, I think he's doing a worse job because he's quickly back-tracking. IIRC he says he hates grease, Undyne says she likes Grillby's, and now he doesn't want Undyne to think he's uncool so he fibs and changes his mind.

There must be something very important about lying to Sans, because he does it so flawlessly compared to things like fibbing to Undyne.

[simonsoys]

Out of curiosity, how do you think sans would react if frisk flirted with them? Or someone he isn’t really interested in vs someone he IS interested in?

(I’ve honestly started wondering about this when I realised you legit could flirt with half of the undertale mains Expect for sans! Like undyne with the spear at her house, or Alphys’s reaction when she mistakenly thinks the human is hitting on her (the letter) or papyrus on that date, or toriel with the phone)

I feel like no matter what the player says to Sans, he plays it cool like he expected you to say it and you're super predictable. He's unflappable. The man cannot be flapped.

Regardless of the angle of the flirt, the result would be a disappointing non-reaction and a verbal Uno reverse card. If you already went on a date with Papyrus he'd probably roast you about needing a rebound.

You also get most characters' phone numbers/contact info except his in one way or another, so maybe if you asked him for his digits, he'd play it up like you're trying to be flirty, then give you a bogus number that dials the Super Weenie Hut membership application desk.

Alternatively, dialing the number only reaches his "answering machine", that seems to be a machine except on specifically the 19th time you call, it remarks on you being kind of desperate. On the 20th and following calls it goes back to being the regular message. (Can you program a machine to do that? Is he actually just answering the phone each time to say the same thing and prank you?)

He would have 0 reaction to you flirting with other people, even if internally, he'd think you're weird and hilarious.

That's the thing with Sans: externally he's got a dry and controlled wit, regardless if on the inside he's angry with you, curious about you, or thinks you're peak comedy.

[simonsoys]

How do you think Toriel would react if she knew sans told frisk “you’d be dead where you stand” conversation threatening them and all that?

Sorry if this was asked before x

Since everything worked out in the end and he's done nothing else to ever hurt Frisk, I don't think she'd worry too much about it as a one time comment. She'd write it off as being his weird sense of humor.

You know that bit in the game where you can insult Papyrus and Sans flatly says "sarcasm isn't cool". Like that, except Toriel flatly saying "edgelord humor is uncool, Sans".

To use a word Alphys taught her, she'd say that Sans was being ''''cringe''''

[simonsoys]

how do you think papyrus will react if he found out sans was a smoker for a while and it clicked to him he's been doing it for years?

I feel like you'd be able to smell it on him, but maybe Sans could use the excuse that it's the smell of the bar(tender).

Probably just extra disgust-- it's gross, even by Sans standards. Would that account for Sans being slimy? (Would it even be harmful to skeletons??)

I think he'd assume Sans picked it up from some of his acquaintances at first, and wheel in the local school's TV to show a MTT-brand "say NO! to peer pressure" video. With a sad sigh, he'd have to ask you to be a good example for his brother, since Sans is more vulnerable to social influence.

Real talk though I don't think there's much Papyrus would do except nag. He already nags Sans for the other unhealthy habits he's got going on and hasn't seemed to push deeper into the "why" behind any of it at the time of the game's story. As much as he complains, he lets Sans make adult decisions-- and for what it's worth, Sans does do the same for Papyrus.

[simonsoys]

Another night conceptualizing Swap and Fell as if they were slight deviations in events in the 100 years since Asriel/Chara died, that led the characters to different roles/attitudes, rather than being core personality changes... 

Everyone is still who they are, but in different stages of desperation

hghghg everyone needs a hug still

[simonsoys]

Found a long unfinished head canon document from like 2017 or 18 in my tumblr drafts and:

[simonsoys]

Hi Simon! Have you read the Undertale Alarm Clock Winter dialogues? If so, what are your thoughts on them? Your character analysis posts have always been my favorite, so I would love to hear what you have to say :)

I hadn’t read them before but just took the time to! These were so super cute, and I forgot how much I missed these characters. 

TBH I don’t have any new headcanons right away, except realizing that I was 100% wrong in thinking Toriel *wouldn’t* go completely ham at a hard rock concert. The woman is a menace

[simonsoys]

Another oldie, from 2015.

My mom used to purposely mis-read signs when I was little so that I’d learn to read them myself. Particularly push/pull doors. It drove me bonkers and I legitimately thought she was illiterate.

[simonsoys]

Getting those Gaster headcanons out here before the rest of Deltarune smashes them all lol

I like imagining him as being a big sweetie pie goober, if a little wordy and pretentious.

BUT also absolutely horrifying at all times

He doesn’t move like a normal monster. He mostly teleport-walks silently to wherever you are like Watson (never in your range of vision, you just turn and BAM he’s there).

When he’s in a room, the light bulbs tend to flicker and go out because his void body is absorbing the room’s energy. Also bad for cell service and battery life. If you see one light out at the end of the hallway, chances are he’s standing there. Even when you can’t see him. 

His body shakes and has rapid mini-seizures, making it look like he’s glitching out.

He clips through walls and floors accidentally sometimes. Sometimes he gets stuck there. Sometimes he absorbs chairs.

His body sometimes folds unnaturally through itself, but after a good nap it tends to straighten out. 

He doesn’t appear in the real world all the time, depending on the fun value of the timeline, but he can still show up in mirrors, or in photos. Similarly, his voice can come through speakers. His speech is loud, terrifying gibberish to most people.

He forgets when people can see him, so sometimes he does weird stuff like stand outside of peoples windows staring in.

He basically turns wherever he’s at into a survival horror game, except that he doesn’t want to do anything to you except ask if you want a Werther’s.

[simonsoys]

My favorite is writing Papyrus like a nutty cryptid hunter, and Sans like a nutty [[”aliens”]] conspiracy theorist, except for humans and time travel respectively, and having both of them quietly side-eyeing each others’ hobbies as being goofy and a little embarrassing.

[simonsoys]

Wait, how old do you headcanon Papyrus?

19/20. IIRC his internet handle has 95 in it, which would put him at 20 in 2015.

He feels like he’s about young adult age anyway. Awkward, insecure, not a kid, but still treated like a kid. Doesn’t quite know what to do with his life. Isn’t paying attention to the bills and homeownership like Sans is. Isn’t in an established career. The sentry position seems like it’s his first ever job.

Overall just feels like he’s at an earlier stage of “doing life” from Sans, Alphys, and Undyne. (I picture them being ~30, late 20s, and 24/25 respectively.)

[simonsoys]

UT Pokemon headcanons to go

Frisk -- That’s you! Frisk starts out their adventure to become a pokemon master.

???? -- The professor is missing. But they seem to have left a starter pokemon and a pokedex for you.

Toriel -- Mom! Remember to go home and rest every once in awhile! A crazy tough trainer in the past, though she doesn’t talk about it much.

Flowey -- Your rival. Picks the starter strong to yours. Pops up at random times to challenge you and give you a hard time. Gives lots of speeches about how friendship and caring is dumb, and strength and aggression is all that matters. Beats the champion right before you do, making him the last one you have to beat to take the title. Afterwards, you can find him back in your hometown on certain days, having changed his views on battling.  

Sans -- “yo! champ in the making!” He’s the guy at the start of every gym who gives you (really lame) advice. He’s also the guy who sells you a Magikarp for 1000p. Seems to have a connection to “Mystery Gift.” Final boss of the Battle Tree.

Papyrus -- Secondary rival. Picks the starter weaker to yours to make the fights more fair. Craves the glory of being champion. Gives you his phone number and sometimes calls for rematches, sometimes calls to give you cool stuff, but mostly calls to chat. Does he know the old professor somehow...?

Napstablook -- Runs the daycare. Doesn’t really want the eggs you keep foisting on them, but is too anxious to refuse.

Temmie -- Sells you battle mechanic goods. One will give you the oval charm.

Undyne -- Gym leader. Teaches you Rock Smash/Strength. Will reappear as a midboss at the Battle Tree later on.

MK -- Trainer in Undyne’s gym. Likes comfy striped shirts! You’re lightyears away from beating Undyne!

Alphys -- She developed the box system in this world! She knows lots about the GTS and other game mechanics. She’s super helpful and will give you lots of good information. Collects pokemon merchandise. Located only one town over from where Undyne’s gym is.

Mettaton -- Gym leader and the top one to beat in contest mode. Regional superstar. Has a cooking show that talks about poffin recipes. Operates out of the same city that has the casino.

Muffett -- A trainer encountered throughout the region. Once beaten, sells regional baked goods and sweets like Lava Cookies and Old Gateaus. Trainers don’t actually black out and payout money after battles. It’s just her mugging you.  

Asgore -- Berry Gardening Master and the current champion. Will give you one free berry a day to plant.  

Chara -- Post-100% completion Pokedex hidden boss. Your partner in doubles Battle Tree. Alternatively: the RotomDex

Dog -- Working hard in an unmarked apartment tower, makes barks that are probably about the game’s development but you can’t understand it. 

[simonsoys]

  babycharmander

I don't think Undertale necessarily calls out those who watch the game on Youtube. Flowey seems to be more referring to Alphys and Sans there, since Alphys isn't present in the route at all but is watching through the cameras, and Sans doesn't act until immediately afterward.

The quote, after Flowey talks about experimenting with the timelines, being curious about killing people, and doing bad things just to know what happens:

“You of all people must know how liberating it is to act this way.

At least we’re better than those sickos that stand around and WATCH it happen...

Those pathetic people who want to see it, but don’t want to do it themselves.”

Sans or Alphys, or any other monster for that matter, don’t want to see a genocide route, and they sure don’t want to do it themselves.

Flowey is talking to Frisk (who he believes to be Chara), but it’s clear that Undertale is directing this conversation at you, and the people watching videos of the playthrough.

This whole segment with Flowey is supposed to mimic your actions and thought process as a player. It even makes fun of the player for trying to rationalize going through with the genocide route as “curiosity”. 

Undertale, more than any other game, is exceptionally aware of its relationship to you as a participant in its story, and I don’t think it ever tries to hide it.

[simonsoys]

Frisk stuffs things in their pockets, their sweater, and their shoes, which is why they can have such a large inventory. Sorry if this is stupid!

[Toriel, handing Frisk a slice of pie]: For you, my child.

[Frisk, shoving the pie, plate and all, down the front of their sweater while never breaking eye contact with Toriel]: thanks mom

[Toriel]: m y    c h i l d