#since 2020 they've been keeping their distance from my work and they kinda feel betrayed that i work there and didn't tell them
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#warning for tag rant / sad feels incoming#in august i started going to a local youth group finally#ive been following them online and wanting to participate for over 3 years but was just too anxious until this summer#and going to the gatherings every friday night was so so good and i made a bunch of friends there that i absolutely adore#but today i found out that my work and the youth group have a negative history with each other#the founder of the group asked to talk to me bc she saw on my works website that i work there#and basically the old director of the organization i work for did some real sketchy stuff and hurt people in my youth group#since 2020 they've been keeping their distance from my work and they kinda feel betrayed that i work there and didn't tell them#and i get why she feels like that but it hasn't ever come up before#no one's asked where i work#and i didn't know about what happened between my work and the group so it wasn't like i was deliberately hiding things either#but now. fuck. idk what to do#bc i know i don't work at the same org as the one that hurt them in 2020#the old director was immediately suspended as soon as his actions were uncovered and there was a whole investigation#everyone who took part in those sketchy things the director did was also fired - even board of directors members that were involved#they published a report about it and theres still a 3rd party lawyer monitoring current anonymous reports from community for accountability#also even if the org was still the same as back then i can't just leave my job#my minimum monthly loan payments are 500$ a month and i can barely pay that as is#and i truly believe in what my work is doing and how we're helping youth and community#i do believe we're doing good work#but i also believe the youth group founder when she says she was deeply hurt by past actions and that she doesn't trust our org#and I've never felt more at home than spending time with the other youth on Fridays#so like. it's a whole mess and it's so complicated and idk wtf to do#like. even if i did quit work - would i even still be welcome at group?#if i am still welcome how many other youth would i make uncomfortable?#if i don't quit work but i stop going to the youth group - how many friends will i lose bc they feel betrayed i picked my job over them??#will i even be able to like. continue supporting the group from the background by donating beadwork or visiting the store?#i thought things were finally going well - i had a community for the first time and a job i liked and was making decent progress on my loan#but of course that was too good to last#if it had to end - i just wish I'd never had that taste of happiness and stability at all
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