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Spock / Nurse Christine Chapel - Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S2 Eps 4 & 5

Folks, this is a wild time to be alive. Since we had bits and pieces leading up to 2x05, I'll touch on those first, and then we can get into the meet of a super uncomfortable, yet hilarious episode.

SPOILER ALERT: If you're looking for a friendly non-spoiler glimpse at this ep, please do not click through! I am a spoiler queen, and I go deep.

There's a tiny sliver of 4, so I included it in this recap, but it's primarily episode 5 in all its cringey, hilarious glory.

Everyone squared away and ready to play? Let's dive in!

"Among the Lotus Eaters" AKA "Who Am I, Again?"

"Hi, Spock. What's happening?"

He's the lieutenant currently in charge of the Enterprise, but she's totally conversational with him, here. She's got bigger things on her mind, which is why I think the formality escapes her.

Una Fumbles for Words

Spock looks to Christine to see if she's on the same page, but she's way ahead of him. I love these little wordless interactions of theirs. It shows that they're still them under these complicated emotions flowing between and through them.

"Charades" AKA "Hijinks Part Deux"

After watching the sneak peek, the promo, and reading the episode description, I came up with what I thought was going to happen:

Spock/Christine crash near beginning of episode

Spock loses his Vulcanness because some alien wants him and Christine to match like collector dolls

Spock's "What the F-" leads into main credits

Christine spends the whole ep working the problem

Spock has very little interaction with her, all things considered, as a human

Christine has to appeal to an alien entity to get Spock back to himself

Spock and Christine share a moment of truth before he is returned to himself

Possible Spock/Christine kiss to end the episode

IF Spock/Christine kiss, they were kissing before "What does this mean?" from preview

How did I do? Well, if you watched the episode, you know already. And while I didn't get all the details right (you'd have to be inside my brain for that bit), I think I did petty well!

Chistine's Log

It's great that we're getting a look into her mind, what she values, and how she organizes her thoughts. And I have to applaud Jess Bush on the voice work on this one, because her inflection on her lines has always been a treat, and it's just as wonderful via VO.

Christine is excited about the Kherkovians and excited about her possible fellowship. What I love most about the montage is how we see everyone rallying and supporting her.

This is Christine's "Elle Woods Studies for the LSATS" montage. And as we go through matching cuts (this director seems to be a huge fan of them), we eventually arrive at a table with friends... and shots!

And can we talk about these three boss ass bitches hanging out together and drinking together? Like, I love that we're back to that idea that a starship is a family, and that these people are the people you actually like and want to be around. It's so bloody glorious.

"I don't get it. Your interview is with a Vulcan. So why aren't you practicing with Mr. Spock?"

Yeah, Christine. Why aren't you spending alone time with Mr. Spock? Of course, that's not what La'an means, but you can see how Christine blanches at the mention of their pointy-eared friend.

"Oh, things are kind of weird between them."

Erica. Ortegas. You did not just do that! M'Benga would never.

But, I'm personally glad Christine opened up at least a little to one of her best friends. We saw her hesitating back in S1 to tell Erica about her crush on Spock.

So, at some point, Christine opened up enough to Erica that now her friend's spreading her messy maybe-relationship to their mutual friend.

"Weird how?"

Erica's smirking while Christine's in shock. Christine doesn't talk about her feelings. She shoves them deep down where she doesn't have to deal with them and pretends they don't exist.

Friendships are great for Christine. Friends-with-benefits? Hell, yeah! But talk about the potential for a relationship? Or having feelings rather than simple attraction? This is outside of Christine's comfort zone.

She buries herself in her drink, much as she did in the first season with Erica when she said, "It would have to be the right man."

Well, honey, I don't know if he's the right man, but he's definitely the man in your mind right now.

A Scientist, A Doctor, A Nurse, And a Turbolift

The turbolift scene is brief, but impactful. Christine tries to catch his eye because she wants to assure herself they can get back in their boxes. But Spock cracked open Pandora's box of emotions. There is no going back.

Spock is praising himself for his emotional control. But he was almost tripped up by crumbs. Crumbs. What would he do if he was face-to-face with the woman he wept over right now?

As Spock leaves without a single word to the two of them, M'Benga and Christine look at one another.

And I thank God I was watching this on my bed at 3 in the morning and not during my lunch break, per usual, because I'm pretty sure my drink would've shot through my nose at M'Benga's face.

Seriously. If you haven't rewatched this brief scene, go back and do it if only for his look after Spock leaves. It's hilarious.

Spock's Log

The temperature firmly established on Christine's present goals (prep for interview/avoid Spock), we now get a glimpse into Spock's mind and life via montage.

He is hanging out with friends, cooking with Pike, and trying not to murder Kirk for crumbs. In short, we're getting a glimpse at status-quo Spock so we can later compare and contrast.

Spock has always enjoyed being around his friends. I think of Spock in his later yeas camping with Kirk and McCoy (my personal favorite classic Trek character). He has always enjoyed being surrounded by people he trusts.

And I posit that's part of why he's so committed to Starfleet. On Vulcan, he is reminded of his father's disappointment in him, the conflict with his older sister (though they resolved it), how Vulcan children bullied him, and how he must perform as a full-blooded Vulcan despite being half-human or face derision and discrimination.

In Short: It's a lot.

But as a member of Starfleet, he spends time with people from many backgrounds, cultures, languages, and creeds. He doesn't have to be the perfect version of anything. In general, his friends take him as he is without asking him to be anyone or anything. He can simply be.

Though there is one notable exception, now. And it's not her fault. It's simply a necessity of reality—Spock feels he can no longer be himself around Christine.

Nearly losing her in 2x01 when his emotions were still quite raw and exposed was devastating. He literally wept over her lifeless body and had to endure the agony of potentially ordering her death.

Spock is trying to fit himself back in the Vulcan box because he's worried about what he'll say or do around her. He wants to be true to his fiancée and everything he's promised her. He knows to do this, he must suppress everything he feels for Christine.

But this isn't like a fresh herb he's never smelled (see next scene) and can't miss through his suppression. He knows what it is to kiss her, to taste her, to hold her, to want her, to mourn her, to save her, to hold vigil over her.

In short: He's so screwed.

"I am afraid my nasal suppressants inhibit my perception of scent."

Forgive the fangirl flail, but my two favorite characters of Enterprise were Trip and T'Pol—apart and together. So, getting a bit of confirmation of the Vulcan's keen scent that we first learned via T'Pol made me kick and squeal a little.

Reminder to Self: Gotta read that fix-it book, at long last, to save Trip from his Enterprise fate.

A Passenger

The whole conversation with Pike reminds me of the last time Spock was having concentration issues—when T'Pring was busy looking up human sex.

I find it fascinating (sorry, Spock) how much T'Pring throws him off. Whether it's his human side or Vulcan side, she tends to spring things on him that send him spiraling.

"I am fine, Captain."

Why call this out? Because "I'm fine" is going to come back later in this episode, and I find it fascinating (again, apologies, Mr. Spock) that it first presents itself here—when Spock is decidedly not fine.

And now he's getting a passenger. Of course, we're gonna cut straight from the line to the person for impact. But, oy, Spock's having a rough day.

He's already distracted with his relationship issues. The last thing he thinks he's going to get is more relationship issues.

A Nice Day for a Shuttle Ride

Christine ides alongside Spock, both of them facing forward. But Spock can't help but catch a glimpse of her.

This isn't a short ride in the turbolift. This is an entire mission together, in an enclosed space, with nowhere to escape.

He tries to approach her as a Vulcan—with tact.

"It is good to see you, Nurse Chapel."

Ah, now he's going to try to be "normal" because they're in a forced professional situation, and not talking at all would be ridiculous considering they have to work together.

"We did see each other in the turbolift the other day. You seemed busy."

This is such a passive aggressive line from Christine. The dude literally stared at the doors the entire time. But, it's also an "out" that she's offering him.

She doesn't want to talk about this anymore than he does.

But a small part of her wants to know if she's imagining it. She doesn't think so (M'Benga's reaction is confirmation enough), but she wants to hear it from him.

"I have many duties. If I offended you, I apologize."

He speaks without emotion, without emphasis, straight facts. But it's still hurtful. And he knows it.

Watch how he closes his eyes, admonishing himself. Do better. He tries to talk to her, really talk to her, like he would before he realized he was falling for her.

"You are here for the fellowship you are applying to? Archeological medicine?"

Note how his cadence and timbre have changed. This is how he normally talks to her—honest and open. It's how he wants to talk to her, but he's afraid of what will come out of his mouth if he opens it to speak.

Remember, Vulcan emotions are reportedly stronger than human emotions. And he's removed some of his control when he fought the Gorn. So, while he is making progress on regaining control, he's still terrified of what emotions Christine Chapel might unleash.

But he's choosing to talk about work. That's safe.

"You know, the Vulcan Science Academy would be lucky to have someone of your experience."

I love the use of "You know". It's so... conversational. It's true Spock slipping through. And this is a true sentiment. He means it.

"Thanks. It's, um, it's nice of you to say."

Ah, yes. This is nice, right? Just two coworkers talking about coworkery things. No reason to get emotional, right?

But Christine's struggling with this whole thing, and it's hard for her to believe what he's saying. Is he saying it as a nicety? Does he believe it?

There's too much weirdness between them right now, and she feels pushed to clear the air.

"Spock? I don't usually read into this sort of thing much, but, uh, it's felt like you've been avoiding me." "Has it?"

Welp, the plan to keep it professional backfired. Because while Christine doesn't want to have this conversation, she can feel the shift in their dynamic. And she doesn't like it.

She had put them into a happy little box of Friendship, and until they started making out on the Bridge of the Enterprise, they were doing a pretty good job of staying thee. Even later in the season, they seemed to have regained their footing.

But Hemmer's death set off a tidal wave of emotions in Spock that are still churning under the surface. Christine isn't blind to that, but I don't think she understands how much this Vulcan man feels for her.

He almost started a war for you, honey. You gotta mean something to him, right?

Spock's fortunately saved by the scanner, but even then, it takes a second for him to switch back into work-mode.

"I should... initiate scans."

Christine acknowledges the shift, no longer pressing for answers. But, did you see the way she checked him out when he stopped close to him? I mean... hubba, hubba. Christine's jonesin' for her coworker.

And, look, I am not a supporter of adultery. I applaud how Spock has tried to keep his distance while Christine has tried to keep him in the friend box. Neither of them want to do something they'll regret.

But this tension's reaching a tipping point, pushed over that edge by two major events in this episode that overlap and intersect.

The tension in the room shifts from, "Wow, I want him/her and shouldn't" to "holy shit, we're gonna die" in a matter of seconds.

The first time watching it, I noticed how Spock reached for a dial at the last second. My first thought was, "Oh, that was an intentional movement, there, but I bet we'll never know what it was for."

Folks, I was so excited to be wrong.

We'll get into what Spock was doing in that moment, but I love that the last thing he heard was Christine saying his name.

There's an intimacy to how Jess Bush says it—putting so much emotion into a single syllable. What do you say when you're about to die next to the one person you wish you could tell everything, but can't?

Do you break that invisible barrier of civility to tell him how you feel? Do you lament you didn't have time to sort it out? What can you say?

Genetic Manipulation Steals Spock's Eyeliner

He does have it in other shots as a human, but for this closeup, it's very jarring to go from Spockliner to none. All part of the illusion, folks!

"I feel... strange."

I love that the first words out of his mouth as a human are, "I feel." We talk so much about Vulcan emotions and Vulcan feelings, and he knows from the first moment that something is off.

"What happened to me?" "We don't exactly know."

It's almost a question on "know" that is so much fun. Jess Bush really has some incredible deliveries as Christine, and I adore it. There's such a dynamism to her deliveries.

I love that one of the first details is Spock investigating his hands. Why? Vulcans are touch-telepaths. No doubt, his hands feel strange without that ability coursing through them, even if he's touching nothing.

"Remediation was made. The beings now match."

This. Says. So. Much. Because so often in the history of this blighted country, we've seen racism tell people they can't be together unless they're the same. Heck, I've seen it in faith, too.

And these beings have the idea that making them match is the right thing to do. But they miss that having differences is part of the joy of connection.

Yes, you can be from the same country/speak the same language/worship the same way and have a beautiful relationship. But that isn't required.

Sameness does not equal compatibility or value. As Star Trek says, Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

"Nurse Chapel is already working around the clock to find a way to reverse your genetic alteration."

Because she's the expert. Hell, yeah, that's my girl!

Now, we can play the "Christine's falling in love with Spock and that's why she's killing herself over this" all day. But the truth is that if this had happened to any member of the crew, Christine would be the one dealing with it because she's the expert.

It's simply juicier because she was the one with Spock when it happened, and she happens to be falling for him.

"Emotions must be new to you." "Vulcans have emotions. We learn to suppress them. These human feelings are different. They're intense and they never stop." "What you're going through, it sounds a lot like being a human teenager."

I love this whole explanation of what's happening with Spock. He hasn't changed who he is. We've watched him going through the exact same montage as before, but this time his control is gone—because human emotions work differently from Vulcan.

Through the Vulcan experience, he could suppress his emotions and box them up. Human emotions work differently. He lacks the chemicals in his brain to behave as he did before.

Remember, Vulcans are wired differently than humans, and while genetically Spock descends from one human and one Vulcan, dominant genes are at play.

For example, of my three children, only one looks like me with olive skin, dark brown eyes, and dark hair. My other two children take after my husband with strawberry and sandy blonde hair, pale skin that easily burns, and one even has hazel eyes!

Same parents. But different amounts of each of us and our genetics.

Spock's anatomy presents primarily as Vulcan, which would apply to the chemicals in his brain, as well. He's lacking those chemicals that retrained his brain to deal with emotion in a controlled and suppressed manor.

He is still the same person at his heart, but it's as though he were born entirely human in his genetics. Problem is, he didn't grow into them. They were thrown upon him as a grown man who was used to entirely different genetics.

It's not odd, to me, that while his core principles remain unaltered, how he approaches them is partially informed by the tools he has and/or lacks with an entirely human anatomy.

"Have you been here all night?"

Of course, Christine would do this for any member of the crew. But the pain she feels is amplified by her belief in her responsibility, and the fact that it's someone she cares about, deeply.

"If I hadn't been there, then maybe they wouldn't have done what they did to Spock."

Oh, there are so many layers to this. The obvious take is that she feels guilty that the aliens modified Spock's genetic code. But I think there could be another layer.

Because Christine was not initially on that mission with Spock. When La'an called her out on not talking to a Vulcan about the whole thing, I think she decided to prove that she could handle it, and requested to be added to the mission.

What if her ulterior motive for joining the mission was to prove to herself that they could be okay? That she could be okay around him? That it was all in her head that he was avoiding her, and that there really is nothing between them?

Because, that's what she wants. She wants for there to be nothing between them. She's tried to will it into being.

And what if her desire to prove they were nothing but platonic coworkers was what brought such pain to the person she truly cares for? What if it's her own hubris that brought this on?

Of course, we all know that M'Benga is right when he says that her presence might have been what preserved Spock's life at all. With "mixed instructions", who knows what the aliens might've done without Chapel's example.

And yet another example of just how biased our own medical system can be in this country. Did you know we are just now seeing medical diagrams and training materials that take different levels of melanin into consideration for bruising, bleeds, and reactions?

Sorry, back to the story—Christine's hurting.

"Survivor's guilt is easy to spot from the outside. But it's not fun from the inside."

I love their relationship. These two are deep friend who truly understand one another.

"Are you forgetting something important?"

Oh, shit! The interview!

"What? We're done?" "I have all I need. We will contact you."

I feel like all the other Vulcans in this episode are a reminder of why Spock is different, and special, and why we love him so much. It's not that he's a half-Vulcan. As Angel would say, that's not what this is really about. It's because of who he is.

No matter what version of himself he is, he cares about his friends. He loves his work, and he pours himself into it. He tries to do what is right, even if he sometimes gets it wrong. He's loyal, and patient, and kind.

Now, human Spock doesn't have impulse control, as we've seen. But if he were trapped in this state forever, I'd like to think that's something he could learn.

"Christine?"

First off, woah. Spock avoids saying her first name because of how intimate that is... and I have a theory...

See, Vulcan emotions are reportedly stronger than human, right? We saw what happened when Spock tried to let a little anger out with the Gorn... he went postal. He couldn't regain control. It was a flood that he couldn't stop.

What if he's kept such a tight rein on those emotions as of late because he's afraid of the flood to follow?

Spock's humanity is offering him the opportunity to talk to her, to engage with her, to be in the same space with her without losing all control.

His human emotions are a bit out of sorts, yes, but he can work in spurts and starts with them. Once a Vulcan emotion is unleashed, it won't easily be bottled up.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine."

She starts to say the canned line we're taught to say whenever someone asks how we are, "I'm fine." I hate "I'm fine."

Unless you're talking about how you look in your favorite outfit, when you say, "I'm fine" I wonder if you're telling the truth or bowing to society's standards.

"Vulcans can be such jerks."

The iron of that statement. Christine smiles at him, because she really needed that laugh. But it's also so strange a statement as she's working to restore his Vulcanness.

Insert Awkward Hug

In the history of awkward hugs, that might be one of the most cringe between two characters I actually adore together. He enters into it with the best of intentions, but once he's there, it's really awkward for both of them.

While Christine loves being near Spock, it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like him.

"It felt like you needed that. Did I read the moment wrong?"

This moment really struck me, but for very personal reasons. See, I have an Autistic son, and hugging is one of those things that, God bless him, is a big part of him.

He likes to go up to strangers and hug them. And while they all smile because he's a super cute 8-year-old, someday he'll be an adult and they might not think it's as cute. So, we work on asking permission and understanding situations.

I know sometimes people liken Spock to being Autistic-coded, and while I don't know if that's true, this moment really struck me.

"It was really nice. It wasn't typical for you." "Is that okay?"

As M'Benga would say, there's technically nothing wrong with it. But it's not him.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine."

He's echoing back her words to her, but it also feels like growth. At the top of the episode, he declared, "I'm fine" when he wasn't. This response is far more honest and realistic.

Also, my mind drifted back to my first Human/Vulcan lovers, Trip and T'Pol. Their mutual confession of feelings scene is one of the funniest, sexiest, and most beautifully written/performed scenes in Star Trek, to me.

It's Season 3, for anyone who wants to relive it, but I'd do so before Paramount+ removes it like they did Season 4.

Spock's Elle Woods LSAT Montage

Echoes of Christine and Spock.... and how the team all rally around him, now, to help.

"We better hope Dr. M'Benga and Nurse Chapel come up with a cure before the mind meld"

Fascinating that he's going professional on her name with his mother, and I think that makes sense in the moment.

Despite what Spock may feel for Christine, even in his human state he's trying to stay true to T'Pring and his Vulcan obligations related to their engagement. That's important.

Because Spock is still Spock. He's altered, but not gone.

"Yes, I'm way ahead of you."

I love this. We need the reminder of the Chapel we met on Day One, "I know I'm good at what I do". This is where she excels... and she can't make it work. And now she's on a time-clock of her own.

Also, I love how she and M'Benga talk as equals, here. There's no ego in what they're saying. He's trying to offer solutions, but she's already way ahead of him—because this is her speciality.

She respects his, and backs him up, and serves as an amazing assistant when needed. But right now he is the assistant, even though he carries the "Doctor" designation and she the "Nurse".

Let me tell you, I've often experienced Nurse Practitioners who were better in their field than Doctors. This is a nice reminder of that reality while also showing how it can work in a practical situation without bias. Ah, the utopian vision of this era of Star Trek's timeline.

Christine Interrupts Dinner

Look, these two just got their meals, and in comes their sweet-but-oblivious-to-her-feelings friend begging them to go on a mission with her to save her not-boyfriend.

And it makes sense that now that Spock is beyond the help of (most of) his friends the team swivels to helping Christine, again. This is their episode, after all.

"Look, I can't ask either of you to risk your lives for this. But if there's a chance to save Spock, I have to try."

She's willing to risk her life for him. Golly, they are so similar. Because she's in a shuttle craft on her way to the anomaly where he once chose to risk his life for her... but she doesn't know that, yet.

"He didn't choose to be live this."

I remember when I was guessing at what would happen in this episode that I really thought his choice was going to have more to do with it. I guess the writers thought it obvious that he wouldn't want to continue being human.

Yes, we've seen that being human is impacting his life in negative ways, but it could also impact it positively. That's the dichotomy of life in all its facets—it's beautiful and terrible.

"So, we're doing this?" *Uhura touches her shoulder* "We're doing this."

I really think those two bonded when Christine held Uhura after Hemmer sacrificed himself. But I also love this moment of Christine feeling the warmth of sacrificial friendship. She's growing closer to everyone with this civilian post.

We know that in childhood Christine didn't have a lot of friends. She was bullied. She was different, somehow. It's one of those points where she and Spock always related.

Christine also tends to rely upon herself rather than others. Trusting others means letting them in. Letting them in means opening herself up to potential pain.

But as she goes on this mission to help one friend, she's in the company of two others. And you see the moment their friendship washes over her and she relaxes into it.

"This is not going well. How is the cure coming?" "We've hit a roadblock. Nurse Chapel went to find the Kherkovians" "She what? And you just let her go?" "You and I both know that when Christine sets her mind to something, she is hard to stop."

I love the transition from professional to conversational, here. M'Benga is one of the few people—if not the only—privy to the fact that Christine's feelings aren't unrequited.

Yes, Christine's girlfriends have clearly picked up on how she feels about Spock. But even Christine is unsure about how he feels.

But that last line is so bloody powerful. Christine can be a bit like a bulldozer when she's locked onto something. What happens when she locks onto Spock? What happens if she locks onto something else and leaves him behind?

"What is your relationship to this being?" "Um... He's my friend." "Friends are not allowed complaints outside of the response period." "What? Why not?" "Because they do not have sufficient connection to the being in question."

Holy shit, they made HIPAA a character on Star Trek.

Think about it. My best friend can't go into the doctor's office and make decisions about my medical care if I'm unable to speak for myself. But my husband could.

Blue and Yellow might as well be documents you fill out when you show up in the waiting room. They're contractual, factual, literal, benevolent beings.

"You are each other's caregivers?" "No. Well, sort of." "This would answer a question we had. During the crash, the other being diverted shields away from himself to protect you." "He what?"

She finds out that he was willing to die to protect her. This is a huge shift for her. She had a malamute sticking up for her as a kid. A malamute, people! But now there's a man literally willing to die for her.

And he couldn't bear the thought of her dying, again. Rather than watch her die, he chose to increase her likelihood of survival, thus minimizing his.

When she was searching for last words, he was soaking in that last look at her knowing it might be the last thing he saw.

"What is your relationship to this being?" "I don't know." "Oh my God, Christine, come on!" "Seriously. You do know. Tell them." "Tell them what? I don't know what to say." "Tell them you like Spock, that you have feelings for him." "Are you so obtuse that you don't even see that?"

This is the line that broke me. Because Ortegas knows her. Erica has been through a lot with Christine, and knows how she handles relationships—poorly.

Also, Erica has a tendency to notice things before Christine—like the fact that Dever was going to become a problem for Christine's sensibilities.

So, I love that while Uhura is just as fed up with Christine's inability to put it into words (my husband beside me said, "It's now or never") with Spock's genetics on the line, it's Ortegas whose words strike me hardest.

Because Erica knows that Christine's not trying to be difficult. She's been hurt, before. She's afraid of relationships and love. She's tried so hard to follow her rules of dating. And with all that programming, it's difficult for her to realize what she's feeling.

"It's complicated." "Then make it simple. Because if you don't, he'll never be like how he was again."

Damnit. The future rests on Christine facing her feelings head-on. She soaks in Uhura's words, knowing they're true. If she can't convince the aliens that they have true connection, then she can't save Spock.

That means she has to tap into what she really feels. She has to acknowledge it. She has to allow herself to feel it.

But she can't do that with everybody watching.

She motions for Uhura and Ortegas to turn around, which they do with much eye-rolling. As much as Spock's dealing with the emotional maturity of a teenager, Christine's just as stunted, in some ways.

"Spock is..."

The emotions strike her before she can get out more than two words. Because, there's what he is... what he isn't... and what she wishes he could be in her life.

"He's my friend. And, maybe, sometimes, I wish that we had... more... connection."

She's reaching for the words the aliens use, trying to keep this controlled.

"But when you healed him, you changed him. You made him, um, easier to talk to. Someone who probably, um, understands my feelings a little better."

There it is. Her feelings. She's finally acknowledging her feelings. But in this heartbreaking realization of her feelings, she's admitting that Spock in his full self may never understand her feelings.

Restoring him to his former self means stripping his current understanding away. But it's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to restore Spock so he can live the life he was meant to—even if that means Chapel helps him complete his Engagement Dinner to another woman.

A tear slips out of Christine's right eye, and she wipes it away. And while I know these things are random, I can't help but smile to realize it's the same eye that Christine's tear fell from in TOS when Spock wiped it away.

"But, um it's not him. At least, it's not all of him because you took away the other part. A part I was connected to. And I miss him... as he was."

Connection. In the history of Starfleet and all our many stories within that world, connection is always emphasized. It doesn't have to be romantic. In Christine's case, she feels it never will be between her and Spock, no matter how she feels.

But they are still connected. Just as she's connected to everyone in her inner circle. As he is to his. They have found community and connection with one another.

And Christine was able to bring her thoughts back around to save Spock. Because their connection—no matter how deep or shallow it will become—will always be there.

"Mr. Spock. I have your vitamins."

Spock's, of course, grateful. Christine is alive and she beat the clock (barely... thanks, Pike, for the charades!). As he joins Christine in the bathroom, T'Pring watches them thoughtfully. She's had suspicions that something was going on, but I think this is when she's almost sure.

Not that she thinks these two are going to hook up in the bathroom, or anything, but that she's on the outside, yet again, with her own fiancé.

"Uh, the Vulcan genome should start coming back immediately, and physical changes may take a couple hours."

We know that Christine can rearrange and manipulate genetics temporarily, but Spock's body is about to go through a massive change. His arteries and internal organs are going to shift. His ears are going to grow back to their normal state. His blood's gonna shift from red to green.

I'm gonna take a wild guess that those Kherkovians put some heavy painkillers in that cocktail Christine's about to shove in his neck.

"I'm glad to see you're okay. I was worried about you."

This is completely consistent with character, except that he would not have vocalized it before. We know Spock worries about her. We know that he's relieved when she's okay. We've seen it.

"Why did you do it? On the shuttle, you moved the shields to save my life." "I... it was the logical choice. As a Vulcan, I had a higher likelihood of survival." "Just logical, huh?"

She normally wouldn't call him out like this, especially when she should be rushing to give him these meds so he can get into that Mindmeld. But she's raw, and she's hurting, and she's confused.

Her nerves are exposed and a part of her needs to understand if she's reading too much into the situation.

"Christine, I feel many things. It's confusing." "Yeah, I know. For me, too."

Welp, they're both confused. There's something.

They both look down, and I'm grasping for what motivated it. I'm guessing he took her hand, but we're in a shoulders-up shot, so we can't actually see what's happening.

I'm going to go with him taking her hand. It makes the most sense. And it's fucking bold of Spock.

"I have to tell you-"

Christine shuts him up with the hypospray. Because, if you're going to hear a love confession from someone you care about, you want it to be when they have all their faculties. If they're under the influence or inhibited somehow by something outside their control, it's hard to know what they really think and feel.

So, Christine stops him. But, from Spock's perspective, it feels almost like rejection.

"Get back out there. You have people waiting."

But he's frozen in place. Vulcan emotions are rushing back in, and they have to be compartmentalized and suppressed because he feels the pain of that rejection.

Christine walks out, instead, but she's hurting just as badly as he is. Because even if he said all the things she wanted to hear, it wouldn't have been him. She might have lost her only chance at hearing what she wants, but it was the right thing to do.

Spock Decides to Talk with Christine

I have to call this out because of where we last left these two—heartbroken. Spock was opening up to Christine about how he felt when she stuck a hypospray in his neck to shut him up.

She did it because she felt she had to—to restore Spock, that meant restoring him to the "honest man" who wouldn't pursue her while he had a "girlfriend".

For Spock, he had to endure that moment of all his suppressive abilities sliding back into place while simultaneously recognizing Christine pushing him away.

And yet, here he is, making the decision to go to her.

Now, let's be clear that this would not have happened if T'Pring had not said she wanted time apart. Spock has done everything that he can to stay away from Christine, to avoid what he feels for her, to suppress what he feels.

In a strange twist, T'Pring's actions have created a scenario similar to the one he just experienced—freedom from expectation.

Now, I've seen the "we were on a break" arguments, and I think it's up to Spock and T'Pring to define what that means for them. I can only hope there's Vulcan precedent to help guide them on what is (and isn't) acceptable during their time apart.

Because I hate cheating.

I've had friends who were cheated on, and it was the bloody worst. I don't like it in media. So, I'm hoping my assumptions are correct in that this is accepted within the constructs of Spock and T'Pring's separation.

Spock has been stewing on the events of the day and his mother's last words to him. Despite Christine pushing him away earlier, he makes the decision to seek her out. He needs to talk to her.

"I'm here."

The way she says this is so adorable. There's such optimism and openness in it before her more cynical nature kicks in to shut it down.

And why is she here? She's the one who walked away from him, before, but I like to think her own emotions and feelings are swirling inside to the point she can't think.

As she finally had to be honest about it with herself, she's sought out Spock to be honest with him. She doesn't expect anything from him.

But Erica once told Christine that she should spend her next relationship being more honest from the start. So, she's going to be honest.

"What were you coming to see me about?"

Spock wordlessly steps into his quarters, inviting her in. As he stops, he turns sharply over his left shoulder to face her.

In the hallway after Hemmer's wake, he turned over that shoulder, away from her. In Sickbay as she slumbered he turned over that shoulder, away from her. But today, he turned over that shoulder to face her.

He's no longer avoiding her, and his body language tells us before his words.

"That T'Pring and I decided to take some time apart." "And how do you feel about that?"

Christine, the queen that you are. This reminds me of their conversation at dinner, of their chat in the hallway, of every time she makes space for him and how he's feeling.

She doesn't make any assumptions about what he's saying. She leaves space for him to speak, even though we can see her initial reaction was elation.

She tamps that down to be sure she's reading the room correctly, and give Spock the opportunity to correct her initial assumption, if needed.

"I feel badly."

Christine nods, ready to be in friend-mode.

"But also, it was necessary. I am conflicted because I have feelings for someone else."

He said it. He fucking said it.

"A Vulcan with feelings?"

Classic Christine to deflect. But it's also a flirt. You can hear the smile in her voice as she says it, because she knows he has feelings.

She's the one who's talked to him about his emotions, wiped the bloody tear from his cheek. She knows that Spock has emotions, but it's so her to deflect a little in this moment.

Nearly losing her forced him to confront his feelings in 2x01. In 2x05, Christine faced losing Spock, and it similarly forced her to face what she'd been avoiding.

But she didn't imagine he'd feel the same way.

"We do have them. They are more powerful than human feelings which is why we suppress them."

Translation: My feelings for you are so strong, I had to suppress them.

He's explaining why he's been MIA. Suppressing this emotion has meant avoiding the cause of it. This isn't a messy table he can clean up and forget.

Yes, I've talked about love being messy before. And I have a feeling this is about to get very messy. But I hope it'll be fun along the way.

"I don't want to suppress this one any longer. I want to feel this."

The emphasis on want is incredible. And he's telling her without doubt that he is choosing them in this moment. He's choosing to embrace whatever this is, without allowing logic to dictate it.

Christine watches him, and this time it's words failing her. Her lower lip is trembling as she listens to him. It's too good to be true.

And I swear there's a smile in Ethan Peck's eyes when he says that last bit.

Christine's lack of response isn't because she doesn't share his emotions. We know that she does. But I posit she's told herself so much this was never going to happen that even as it's happening, she's struggling to believe it.

It reminds me of my response to my husband when he proposed. I literally said, "Are you kidding?"

Folks, he planned a four-hour scavenger hunt through multiple cities, calling friends in England and California, finding hidden notes, all to end in a black box theater he rented with a bloody light plot, dozen roses, and a poem he read to me.

After all of that, I was still convinced it would never happen. So, as he knelt before me, I fumbled to believe... even then.

"What did you come here f-"

His voice drops to a whisper. So intimate. So afraid to hope that she's there because she feels the same way. He got a hint of that when she gave him the hypospray, but it's not the same as confirmation.

Christine launches herself at him. Her hands grab his face, drawing him to her, but he already sees her coming. His eyes close before her lips meet his. Christine's take a little more time to close, and I like to think she was watching to see if he was into this.

Christine, honey. He's so into this.

As they kiss, the camera swoops around them, and I mourn the tightness of the shot. I've never been a fan of tight shots for kisses, to be fair. This is purely personal preference. I want to see the hands.

I have two communications degrees, and as an ambivert who was quite introverted in grade school, I spent a lot of time observing people.

I feel like the lack of hands takes away from how I can rate Spock's true engagement in this snog-fest... which might be the strangest sentences I've ever written in a Meta.

For any Rose/The Doctor fans, you must remember the clone they made of him and how they kissed, right? That kiss looked emotionless and cold filmed as a head-shot to me. I never believed Rose was into it.

But the behind-the-scenes where we could see the hands!? Hubba, hubba!

I really wanted to see Spock's hands to better gauge his interest and response. Especially after reading an interview with Ethan Peck about how he had to determine if Spock kisses a human differently than a Vulcan. I wanna see that in action!

Christine drops off tip-toes as the camera settles, and Spock moves with her, his lips still locked on hers. They're already moving as one.

But the part that guts me in the best way is the little kiss after they start to pull away.

Remember their first kiss on the Bridge? Of course, you do. Who could forget that!?

Welp, I didn't notice until long after I wrote my first Spapel Meta that Christine lingers momentarily after they part—as though she wants to go back in for more.

This time, they both have that same instinct. And this time, they actually get it. That little micro-kiss is one of the hottest things in this scene to me.

Why? Because it's a fulfillment of an unspoken want to have such intimacy that you can share something so small and have it mean just as much as the big, sweeping kiss before.

And as they share this moment, Christine's fingers trail down Spock's Vulcan ear. And while I doubt Vulcan ears are as sensitive as Ferengi, I'm sure that felt pretty damn good, too.

Because Christine accepts all of him. She doesn't have to tell him, "I'm okay with you being Vulcan" because it's not a matter of her trying to convince him. It's implied. It's understood. It's apparent via their interactions.

And during this episode, Christine showed it in how she fought for him to regain his Vulcan half—even at her own expense.

Think about it... Christine spends a lot of her time helping Spock with T'Pring. And even though there was a countdown clock to the diminishment of genetic plasticity—Spock's biggest concern was his engagement dinner with his fiancée.

Christine fought to restore him not for her, but for him. Yes, she is attracted to Spock in his fullness of self, but she recognizes that restoring him meant restoring him to the half-Vulcan who has been avoiding her for weeks.

To be here, now, with him is beyond her wildest hopes. She's tasted him once, but this time there is no pretense. This time, their attraction is so much deeper. This time, it's all real and honest and open.

Christine opens her eyes almost immediately, but Spock's remain closed as he revels in the feelings he's experiencing. He's soaking it in. This time, there's no awkwardness. Nobody's watching (besides, well, us).

And the fist time I listened to this moment with headphones on, my heart about stopped. It's. Their. Song. The same theme that played during their first kiss on the bridge is playing as they kiss, now.

Our doomed lovers have their own theme.

Christine looks to Spock with new desire, her hands finally free to touch him, her mind finally free to wander to the places she didn't dare. Girl is ready to go! Look at how she's taking him in, letting her fingers explore his skin.

And Spock's taking the logical role of hoping to define what this means.

"What does this mean?" "I don't know. Shut up."

His eyes close before her lips meet his as she pushes him away from the door and deeper into his quarters.

Spock and Chapel are gonna get some tonight!

And, did I see this coming at the beginning of the season? Honestly, no. I thought they'd sleep together at some point in the run of the show. But definitely didn't call it this early! Especially when we all know it's going to implode/explode/end in tears.

I'd be remiss if I didn't at least address the separate-yet-similar arcs of our two lovers. Both of them are on arcs of understanding themselves better, just in different ways.

Spock has been made fully human. This has always been a part of him, but not something he could even imagine experiencing. He had the opportunity to see life through human eyes, to feel human emotions, to smell like a human, and to better understand his own mother.

And major props to whichever character decided they should meet in Pike's quarters with Pike present so the smell of humans might be explainable, even with Vulcan suppressants helping.

But in his journey to navigate life as a human, he started to see his mother's journey. He saw all the pain she suppressed over the years to give him a life of joy. And I'm not saying that we, as mothers, should have to suffer for our children. But I know all good parents often make decisions that are to the betterment of our Little ones, even at our own expense.

Spock finally understood the sacrifices she made. It reframed his own quest to be "Vulcan enough". His mother was never Vulcan. Could never be Vulcan. And yet, so much of what is good in him came from her.

I think that's part of what gave him the emotional freedom to declare himself to Christine in that final scene—freeing himself from the expectations of others. He realized he could thrive without compromising who he is. It's something Angel—for all their flaws—was trying to teach him.

And being released from his obligation to T'Pring by T'Pring freed him up to go after Christine. Again, I'm really hopeful that in the framework of Vulcan culture this is not cheating. I don't like cheating. But, I do like Christine and Spock.

Christine's arc is similarly about defining herself. Somewhere in the mess of the past year, she's lost a bit of her trademark confidence. And I think the problem of trying to solve Spock's genome issues was especially disheartening.

If you're the expert who can't expertly do the one thing in which you're supposed to excel, how much of an expert are you?

The initial rejection of the fellowship deals yet another blow to her psyche on a bad day. But after embracing who she is—a badass scientist, a loyal friend, an innovator, and even a woman capable of romantic love—she enters her second interview more confident in herself.

And I want to be clear that loving Spock doesn't make her who she is. But it's a part of her. It's a part of her she was denying and avoiding.

By releasing the burden she'd been carrying, she freed herself up to so many other things, including regaining her confidence in he prowess in her field. She's a badass. And now she's remembered that.

When they come together in that final scene, they've both been on journeys of self-discovery in their own ways.

Christine remembered that she was born to stand out in the best way, that she is capable and strong, but that she can also be vulnerable.

Spock learned what it is to be truly human, and finally understood the sacrifices his mother made for him.

And they were both surrounded by the love of their shipmates. In an episode all about connection, we witnessed so many different kinds: Familial. Friendship. Romantic.

Connection is more than tonsil hockey, despite what some media might say. Connection is when two hearts meet and feel kinship. That is what both Spock and Christine have found on Enterprise—with each other, and with their beautiful friends.

The over-arching theme of Season 2 thus far seems to be, "Who am I?" You can see it in different characters in every episode so far. It's a universal question—one that so many of us ask of ourselves at many points in our lives.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading! I hope you know that you are beautiful, have intrinsic value, and matter more than you know. May the next morning bring light and love into your life like never before. See you on the next.

#Star Trek: Strange New Worlds #Strange New Worlds #Spapel #Spock #Chapel #Ethan Peck #Jess Bush #Star Trek SNW #ST SNW #Meta #Christine Chapel #Nurse Chapel

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